Sexuality Funny Quotes

“I realize three things: one, I want a tantric massage, but I don’t want to be nude; two, I want the union of masculine and feminine powers, and I’ve got a hooker with whom I don’t want to have sex; three, I’m confused and don’t know what I want.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“The revelation that I’m destined to meet many virgins from the East and the promise of limitless love they hold in their bosoms gives me strength, fortitude, and tenacity—and the wisdom to know that all three are synonyms.”
― Merlin Franco, Saint Richard Parker

“Only about 3 percent of animal species are monogamous. A couple of penguins, some otters and a few other oddball critters. To these select few it comes natural to mate for life and never look at another member of the opposite sex. Humans are not part of that little club. Like the other 97% of species, humans are not monogamous by nature. We just pretend that we are.”
― Oliver Markus, Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends

“If you insist on labeling me, my sexual orientation is horny.”
― Margot Wood, Fresh

“If earnings are to be spent on sex, what's wrong in earning from the sex.

(The protagonist, Manav when blinded by kaam)”
― Swapnil Thakur, Almighty's Embryo

“I will admit to fucking a zucchini when I was in high school. For years I thought I was a vegesexual.”
― Daryl Gregory, Afterparty

“Casual sex is a very sad cat and mouse game. The man is entrapped in his role as the sex-driven predator constantly on the hunt for new conquests, while the woman is the prey that must find her perfect combination of sexual allure and virtue, with the sexual allure being what attracts him and virtue what keeps him.”
― Maggie Young

“Fighting is a lot like making love. Timing is everything.”
― Miles Watson, Cage Life

“The revolution" -the one that helps all of us-"will not come on the tidal wave of your next multiple orgasm you had with your seven partners on the floor of your communal living space.”
― Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex.

“As one might say about sex, even bad bodysurfing is good bodysurfing.”
― Sol Luckman, Musings from a Small Island: Everything under the Sun