You’re going to need to go along with these visuals for a moment.
This story is like a strand of Rapunzel’s hair, after somebody tried to climb to the top and, once close, slipped and went all the way down, but still holding on, and the friction has the same effect as it would if you tried to make a curly ribbon, so this long strand of hair becomes this intricate, complicated pattern of organized chaos, that is so twisty even an extremely fit hair lice would have difficulty figuring out where it will end exactly…
And that, my friends, is what happens if you drink too much while watching cartoons…your mind actually accepts the possibility that what is it thinking makes total sense, despite your better judgment.
The point I am trying to make is that Strand managed to spin a golden yarn, like Rumpledforesk…sorry, wait, flicked past the porn channel.
Anyhoo – I am very obviously running out of ways to review Jeff Strand books, because I had no idea what I was going to say when I sat down a few minutes ago.
Guy meets girl, there’s chemistry, guy finds out girl must be a little unbalanced – like a drunk Libra – and is hiding something, guy still gets swept up and then…
I will give Strand this – as a fan of his work who reads just about anything he writes, he managed to really surprise me with this one. The hook is extremely clever, the twists are truly surprising and he kept me wondering right up to the end.
Loved everything about this – not a single criticism.
This book is cruel, rough to get through and an absolute Masterpiece!
I don’t use that word lightly and I don’t use it often, but if you are a horror fan who can stomach the harder side of the genre, this is the book you HAVE to read.
It is an instant Classic, in my opinion, that will be around much much longer than the author – a legacy, if you will.
Just make sure to read WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO first, and you’ll find yourself fully invested in the characters from the start.
And I am going to shut the fuck up right now because I can’t say anything more deserving.
If you don’t know Aron Beauregard’s work, let me sum it up for you: Hrrupppphhhgghaarrrmmmnnnaaaaheee.
Aron’s work is hard to describe because, yes, it is sick, twisted, brutal and extreme, but he is also a story teller. The fact that he pushes the reader makes it easy for some to think of him as someone who relies on shock and disgust to sell his stories, but if you remove the make-up and look at the bare, naked tale, it is usually a damn good story.
And PLAYGROUND…well…
Years ago I was going through a movie slump, when I saw the preview for a new movie during a coffee break while doing night shift, which made me sit up and go: I have to go and watch this the moment it comes out!
I did, and it became one of my top 5 movies ever. The concept, while simple, was utterly brilliant and superbly executed. I am referring to the first SAW movie.
You will see some parallels with that movie when you read this one, but it is hard to imagine how far the author went with this one. If this was made into a movie, it would never see the light of day. It is SAW on steroids to the AAHHHHH degree.
The characters are well fleshed out, the story makes sense, but deep inside all the gore there is a commentary about parenthood and the ills of the world we live in. Psychologically speaking, this is a study in all that can be done incorrectly to a child.
In my opinion, this is the author’s best work to date.
Recommended to extreme and Splatterpunk fans only.
Bridgett Nelson is a name that has popped up a lot lately, so my expectations were high going into this. How could it not be? Both Ronald Kelly (who did the foreword) and Jeff Strand (who did the blurb) endorsed this book – no small feat for a debut.
Well, most Indie authors write their first work and hope to get a foot in the door. Bridgett used another approach. She stormed through it like it was an old cowboy saloon with swinging doors, both hands fisted with a raised middle finger and screamed: “Here I am, bitches, let’s get this party started!”
This does not read like a debut. It is well polished, clever, original and dynamic. Right off the bat, the story “Auras” shows you not only the strength of her writing, but just how clever she can be. There was not a single story that I felt was one dimensional and, while it might be clear she comes from a medical background, the ideas were vastly different.
I am willing to go all in with this author – don’t let the pretty smile fool ya, she’s got a twisted imagination and the writing skills to back it up. If she keeps at it, I predict she will become a name and force to be reckoned with in the industry.
BUT: “Content Warning A graphic, violent sexual assault is depicted in this story. It may not be suitable for all readers.”
That’s the way the story “Jinx” starts. You’d do well to heed that warning. For those of you who may not be familiar with me, I read a lot of extreme and splatterpunk horror. I might be desensitized to certain things by now. But this story – and I am not saying this lightly – is the darkest short story I have ever read. In fact, currently it falls in the top 3 darkest STORIES I have ever read. If you are familiar with either THE GIRL NEXT DOOR by Jack Ketchum or WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO by Jonathan Butcher, this one is right up there with them. It rips your insides to shreds and you feel not only sick afterwards, but sickened.
I CAN NOT STATE THIS STRONGLY ENOUGH: If you are not an extreme horror or splatterpunk fan, who’ve got some experience under your belt with the genre, DO NOT read this one. It WILL upset you. Fuck, I am seasoned and it upset me. Don’t try to be a hero, it is not going to work. Just enjoy the rest of the book, because it is a great read.
So far this year, this book has been the most impressive....more
Moving to the next level – this is more than a splatterpunk novel!
While I usually try to give lighter, humorous reviews for whatever I read, I am going in a different direction with this one. I’m going to tell you a story which has nothing to do with the story in the book – if you get to the end of the review, you will (hopefully) understand why.
In my late twenties, I started playing in the Black Ball Pool League (8-ball). I worked nightshift every other week, so I was a part time player, and there were not a lot of people who knew me outside of my club. Now, I am not going to lie and tell you I was the best – I never was – but I had two things going for me when it came to the game: I could ‘see’ nearly any angle for a bank shot (off the cushion) and I had the ability to snooker my opponents – a lot! I frustrated the guys who could sink the balls better to me into making mistakes.
That first year in the league I discovered something about myself – there was nothing I loved more than to beat these big-mouthed braggards. Your top 10 remained fairly consistent every year – as in any sport, really. And, since I was a nobody to them, but had enough of a game to take on most of them on a good day, I managed to do it a few times that year. The best game I ever played was against one such individual – he broke and didn’t sink anything, and I cleaned the table. The reason I see it as my best game? White ball control. I managed to line up my next shot perfectly after every ball I sank.
Even though my game improved with time, I’ve never had such a perfect game again. Best shot I ever played? From a snooker, three cushions into a snooker for my opponent. Yip, I could see the angles, it was my thing. It’s been more than I decade since I’ve stopped – circumstances beyond my control – and every now and then I get nostalgic when I think back on it. I was on a trajectory to make the state team in a few years, maybe, but now it is nothing more than a who-knows.
This book made me nostalgic, but not for the reason you might think...
When it comes to the horror genre, you have your few consistent best sellers (top 10) whose name alone sells their stories. Every now and then, a new horror author emerges, someone you’ve never heard of before, but who has the potential to take on the big guns and shows the skills and potential to tell a better story than some of them. While it might never happen – we all know how difficult the market is for any independent author – they can be on a trajectory to the top, if only given enough exposure.
And is especially rare for a sub-genre author to do so, but some of them really do have the chops, if not the opportunities. And Volpe is well on his way. While he is known as a splatterpunk author, this story is more (pardon the description, it is not meant to offend anyone) mature. This book has the potential to draw in ANY horror reader – personally, I will call this a horror story with background splatter.
Yes, there is some gore, although it is not close to his goriest. Yes, there is some blood, but not even close to his bloodiest. Most important of all, there is a STORY, and there is no denying it will appeal to a bigger audience. For me, the scenes in Auschwitz had more impact than any of the splatter.
I want to make an appeal to all horror readers to give this one a go – help this author reach his full potential, because he is that damn good. Give him the opportunity to show the big guns that they should never underestimate the power of talent. Show these big publishers that skill and determination will triumph over luck, and that the little guys may actually know what they are doing, too.
Don’t allow anything to halt his trajectory – this guy can make it in this very competitive world…and he deserves to....more
Update I heard a rumor this book is nominated for a Splatterpunk Award! Come on, August!
------------------------------------------ Extreme horror authors - Listen Up! The bar has been set. For any of you who feels the violence and depravity is the most important part of the story, you need to read this book to learn about character development - because when the reader cares for the protagonist, they can FEEL the bad things happening.
For anyone who doesn't understand why I can love one extreme story and hate the next, let me tell you something about myself: I joined Goodreads a little more than 3 and a half years ago. In all honesty, I wasn't even aware of the extreme genre - with the exception of Richard Laymon and Bentley Little. Since then, some authors approach me every now and then to read and review a book. One of my personal rules is to not write a review for a book I don't finish, so others won't know which ones I abandon. I do, however, send the author a message to tell them why I won't finish it.
Since then, there were three extreme authors whose books I just couldn't get into - one who managed to make me physically nauseous - and the other two whose stories felt like it was 'violence for the sake of violence'. So, I may not have liked their stories, but I can understand they cater for a market I'm not into. Last year, I read a book which I described at 'the sickest book I've ever read' and I still stand by it, but this book matched it in spades. However, this book was better for the reaction it invoked in me.
In 2010, Darren Aronofsky released his movie BLACK SWAN - to date, one of the top five movies I have ever seen - and made me an instant fan. When MOTHER! came out in 2017, I went into it blind. And, man, did that movie have an effect on me!
If you haven't seen this movie, skip this paragraph and watch the movie first! It starts out as this visually serene movie, which highlights the beauty and love for the couple, even though there is this teensy-weensy part of mystery you sense rather than see. The movie becomes a little strange when the people start coming and, even though you feel uneasy, it is more of a suggestion than anything actually shown. And then, all of a sudden, you find yourself in this fucking war zone...You see, the director hinted at something, but you do not expect this onslaught of violence out of nowhere. And it shakes you inside, makes your gut drop in that moment, makes your stomach turn as if you are part of those people's lives.
Well, this book did just about the same for me. Aron makes you care about Vera, gives you just enough time to understand and forgive her quirks. And then he fucks her up! This was the first time I had to put a book down and take a break, because my brain screamed NOOOOOOO!!!!
For anybody who thinks they can handle any kind of extreme, this one twisted me inside - good luck.
Audiobook fans: listen up - if you live in the US or UK and you want to hear a Hilarious story, I might just be able to hook you up with some free codAudiobook fans: listen up - if you live in the US or UK and you want to hear a Hilarious story, I might just be able to hook you up with some free codes! Drop me a line, a.s.a.p.
....
Full disclosure: The author of this book gave me this ARC for an honest review.
When Adam asked me if I would be willing to read this book, my first reply was: Where the fuck did you get my number? You know I have a restraining order against you, you son of a…oh, wait, I’m thinking of somebody else. Yeah, sure, why not?
Honestly, my actual reply was: Yes, yes, yes, please! You see, I've read some of Adam’s work before and I liked it…almost as much as kissing a girl… Add to that the reference to the 80’s and movies – well, damn, how could I say no? It was a bit of a gamble for the writer, since I was always going to be overly critical about the things that didn’t work for me. And then there’s poor Sly (Google the 80’s movie COBRA - if you’re not with me) whose poster was shamelessly ‘borrowed’ for this damn good cover. By the way, if you get to the end of the story, there are more posters to appreciate! You see, I was once what you may call a cinephile – about 4 000 movies and counting – and I have fairly extensive knowledge of movies from the 80’s and 90’s. I used to be the guy whose brain held a lot of useless movie info. So, could Mr. Howe live up to expectations?
Jump into my DeLorean and buckle the fuck up…we’re going for a ride!
Think of a man. Not just any man. One with an orange sheen and a stupid haircut. No, not the ex-president. A man who has become a pathological liar, who is his own biggest fan and who refuses to hear any criticism. Nope, still not. This man, who was once one of the biggest action movie stars in the world. Yes, we’re talking about Shane Fucking-Moxie!
While he’s not in the best of shape currently, and may be a little down on his luck with cash and work, he can still hold his head high and be proud of himself…at least, in his own mind. You see, he shared the screen with a chimp in the hit movie COPSICLE, where ’48 HOURS meets ENCINO MAN’. And, while Duke, the chimp, became an instant star and his career took off from there, Shane’s kind of imploded with the movie KKKpop - the most offensive movie any major studio ever released. In his defense, racism wasn’t to blame. It was sheer stupidity’s fault.
And this book begins where a PI tries to blackmail Klaus Kaiser – also once a successful movie icon, now a successful businessman – with (something). This has nothing to do with Shane Moxie – not yet, anyway – and he is trying to pull a scam on a promotion of the 20th anniversary of COPSICLE. Does it work out for him? Well, the next chapter is called ‘The Midnight Movie-House Massacre’, so it’s anybody’s guess.
And from there, the real chaos will start when Duke comes to Moxie for help to get to the bottom of his wife’s death, which he believes wasn’t an accident. And, yes, he does sound like Kevin Spacey – it’s a long story, okay, so just read the damn book! – but that will not be the most offensive thing you will discover.
There are so many movie hints in this story, almost as much as there are jokes in the movie AIRPLANE. The F.U.B.A.R. (a bar in this story) has its roots in the movie TANGO & CASH, starring Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, and it actually means ‘Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition’. The shark tank? Take your pick. Could it be James Bond? Or perhaps BAD BOYS? What about that one scene in LETHAL WEAPON II? I’m fairly certain, though, that it wasn’t DESPICABLE ME… The German bad-guy? I couldn’t help picturing Jeremy Irons from DIE HARD 3…
Okay, enough of this. I try not to give much away in my reviews, so you will have to read this one yourself if something interested you. At the end of the book, three things became very clear to me:
Adam Howe is also a cinephile – all those references comes from the love of the ‘game’. I would have loved to have been able to play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with him in the early 2000’s, when my movie knowledge had peaked.
Adam Howe is funny – if you allow him to entertain you without taking it too seriously, you will laugh a LOT!
This book was the most fun story I’ve read in 2020. And that says something, since I read a few Jeff Strands, Caihm MacDonall and Lee Goldberg stories. Just go along for the ride and you will enjoy yourself.
I must thank Adam Howe for giving me this ARC – I loved every-damn-thing about it!!!...more
David Wong manages to pull you into his "world" for the third time - it is a bumpy ride, but - Damn! - isn't it fun?!
The three main characters are DavDavid Wong manages to pull you into his "world" for the third time - it is a bumpy ride, but - Damn! - isn't it fun?!
The three main characters are David, John and Amy, who still live in Undisclosed. Their lives has not changed much: David lost his job at the video store when they close and has been unemployed ever since, so they live on Amy's income on top of a dildo store. John is...well, still just John, which is not really a compliment, but what can you do, right?
The worst possible thing happens - ahem, meaning the worst possible thing in OUR world - when a child is abducted. David and John takes the case, and the police of Undisclosed gives them the middle finger. I don't mean figuratively - as they drive away, the cop literally gives him the finger.
But all is not as it seems. Unfortunately, Amy threw the last of the Soy Sauce in the river, so they are left on their own to figure it out. And then another kid disappears, and the cops starts looking closer at Dave - is he a suspect? Of course he bloody well is, don't you know ANYTHING about these kinds of books? And they are chased by NON-agents: Black cloaked entities who MUST have a hidden agenda. And then there is the BATMANTIS??? - which doesn't have anything to do with Batman, in case you are wondering.
After the Soy Sauce traveled to the Orient and back - David and John gets a chance to take some to find out what is really happening this time. When they do, will they think that ignorance was bliss, because things are actually worse than they thought.
The strangest thing is not the fight with the dildo and Oreo cookies. It is not the reason why there is a place called Taco Bill. It is not the question of whether a plane could take off when it was sitting on a giant treadmill. Not even the explanation by the eight year old boy about why the penis is mushroom shaped at the tip.
No, the strangest thing about this story is the moments of philosophical wisdom that lies scattered throughout this story. Whatever your opinion about the humor in this book -David Wong is not dumb, and nor are the characters in this story.
Overall - I enjoyed this one a lot, laughing often and thinking about deeper things than expected. This entire story takes place in the rain - okay, except for the final chapters - so it might remind you of something like the movie GODZILLA with Matthew Broderick. However, a closer comparison I want to make is to the original BLADE RUNNER - don't misunderstand, the stories are vastly different - but like the movie, there are more genres at play than you might expect. There's a little bit of horror, sci-fi, drama, comedy, philosophy, fantasy and even, just in the background on the horizon, a love story.
I honestly don't know who to recommend it to - you'll just have to decide for yourself....more
Do you know which famous person you look like? I've been told that I have an uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt...in the sense that we both haLOVED IT!!!
Do you know which famous person you look like? I've been told that I have an uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt...in the sense that we both have a body with two legs, two feet, two arms, two hands, and a head with two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth and hair. It's only the shape of everything that differs. In fact, if you take away his fame, money, charisma, success and Hollywood starlets as wives, we are the same man!
The point I'm trying to make - in a very, very roundabout way - is that, given the right circumstances, just about anybody can be anybody else. A MAN WITH ONE OF THOSE FACES is about Paul Mulchrone, a man with an average face, built and, well, everything. He could be anybody - somebody you feel you recognize but can't quite place at that moment. And it is important, because he needs it to do his charity work of scamming people.
You read that last sentence correctly. Go ahead, read it again. Yeah? Makes no sense whatsoever? Oh, but it actually does make sense. Allow me to explain: When people reach a certain age, or gets a bad illness like Dementia or Alzheimer's, they usually end up in a care facility, and the visits from friends and family becomes fewer and fewer, these people hold on to the hope that somebody special will come to visit them at least one more time. And Paul does that for them, becomes a family member they so desperately want to see and talk to. It sounds so noble, even though his motivations may not be.
But, when one of these old people attack and tries to kill him, his world will come undone in a very short period of time. The geriatric turns out to be a gangster, and now more people are trying to kill him, even though he has no idea why.
With the loyal nurse Brigit at his side, he tries to survive, seeking the truth behind one of the biggest unsolved crimes in Irish history...the Rapunzel case.
And then there are the others: The cop, close to retirement and in a foul mood about it. The rookie and, well, the rookie stuff... The rich, swearing granny with the gun...muck me! and, Detective Sergeant Bunny McGarry...not crooked but very bent, with his own set of rules and unusual tactics...believe me, you've never come across a character like him before.
This book is absolutely hilarious, but still very tense. I feel comfortable calling Caimh McDonnell the Irish Carl Hiaasen. I was seriously, seriously impressed, even though they mostly say 'feck' instead of 'fuck'.
I ended up highlighting nearly forty passages - a new record for me - and I can recommend this for anybody who loves a little dark humor in their thrillers.
EDIT: I think enough time has passed to confidently say that this is the best book I have ever read in my life - my pick for if I am stranded alone onEDIT: I think enough time has passed to confidently say that this is the best book I have ever read in my life - my pick for if I am stranded alone on an island with only one book.
I have neither the words nor the talent to adequately describe what this book did to me. It should be on your bucket list, no matter who you are.
On the surface, this book is a murder mystery. Forget the minimal supernatural elements, it plays a much smaller part than you might think. It's a coming-of-age story about a twelve year old boy, Cory Mackenson, growing up in a town called Zephyr in the early sixties. And the story begins with him and his father, witnessing the aftermath of a murder and the killer's attempt to hide it. And, BAM, you find yourself in a different world.
It takes an exceptional writer to tell this story in 600 pages without boring the reader. This book is truly a masterpiece of literature - simply because of the feelings it invokes in the reader.
So, what happens in this story? Everything! Absolutely EVERYTHING!
Allow me to explain. I was 17 years old when I read IT by Stephen King - a daunting task with a book of more than a thousand pages. King managed to take me back a few years, to connect with a younger, freer and naiver me. Those memories were still fresh in my mind and I had no difficulty going along with the ride. Not only could I relate with those characters, I could connect to them on a personal level.
Twenty five years later I read BOY'S LIFE, and, for the life of me, I can't believe I'd forgotten so much about those feelings I had as a young man. But during these last two weeks, I've felt things I didn't know still existed inside me. For the last two weeks, I felt that magic again - I'm certain it's to a much lesser extent than in my youth, but this is the closest I have come to it in my adult life.
This story covers all the important stuff: Ignorance vs. Tolerance Love vs. Hate Anger vs. Fear Hope vs. Pessimism Grief vs. Acceptance Grudges vs. Forgiveness Bullies vs. Victims Loss vs. Grace
There were so many situations in this book which transformed me back to my youth. Times have changed, as they always will...I have changed, as any adult does.
It also saddens me a little, to look at my son (almost 4), and to think about the things he will never know in his life. He is growing up in a different world than I did, especially if you look at the age gap, will he be able to relate to this book when he is older?
I'm a bit emotional as I write this, I might change this review in the future. For now, this is one of the best books I've ever read, it will rate in my top 5 for sure. I hope that everybody will grant themselves the chance to go on this journey.