It felt more like the author was frantically filling in plot holes rather tOverwhelmingly underwhelming.
And that is as about as positive as I can get.
It felt more like the author was frantically filling in plot holes rather than writing something new.
The Transfer - Was this one reallllly necessary???
From the main books, we already know that Four picked Dauntless because he wanted to escape his abusive father.
And this short story....told exactly that. I suppose, it was just a really, really drawn out version... but still. Felt like a waste of page space.
The Initiate - This was a bit interesting.
We see some of the main players from Divergent (mainly Eric and the Dauntless-born initiates) as Four comes to terms with his new life.
But honestly, it feels like we already lived through this.
Divergent - A Stiff enters dauntless, gets ridiculed but manages to come out on top.
The Initiate - A Stiff enters dauntless BUT he's like, super nervous and stuff, gets ridiculed and manages to come out on top.
And we see how he gets his tat. That bit bugged the ever-living daylights out of me.
He goes on and on about how NO ONE CAN KNOW HE'S DIVERGENT. And what does he do? Literally gets the most divergent possible tattoo on his body ever. I mean, honestly. This kid.
The Son - Four trains for a leadership position.
He spends most of the time waffling on whether or not he wants to do it. Then decides not to "because reasons."
Four is all like, "oh no, I don't like that my faction is corrupted. Whine whine whine."
Then he abandons the leadership position thus allowing the corrupted guy to get the spot. NO WONDER YOUR FACTION FALLS APART.
The Traitor - honestly just filling in plot holes.
How does he get into the computer room?
How does he know about the abnegation attack?
Then, he meets Tris and falls in love with her because reasons. Blah blah blah.
Extra scenes from Four's perspective - talk about a waste of paper. No inner revelations, no big reveals.
Honestly, I think I preferred it when we weren't in his head. He seemed much more interesting that way.
The Finer Books Club 2018 Reading Challenge - a book with a number in the title
No. This isn't some euphemism for a beefy gay man.
She motherf*cking literallyf*cked **spoiler alert** She f*cked a bear.
She literally f*cked a bear.
No. This isn't some euphemism for a beefy gay man.
She motherf*cking literallyf*cked a literal bear.
What. The. Hell.
Okay. So. I'm not a cultured reader. I read mostly YA and...well...that's about it. BUT, I am a reader. A layman reader. So, here is the review from a casual just-for-fun reader:
She f*cked a bear.
For the record: did I pick up this book knowing there will be bear-f*ckery? No.
I picked it because I wanted (for once) to read a novel. I wanted one of those fancy English-students-read-this sort of novels.
I found this 120ish page book on the "suggested reads" table of my local library. Here's the blurb from the back:
Marian Engel, one of Canada's most celebrated and provocative novelest, died...The short and controversal novel "Bear," her last and best-known work...
It sounded good - it had all the hallmarks for cultured reading, right? It won prizes, it's by a treasured national author, it was controversial. I was pumped - watch out world, I'm gonna get cultured.
The book started off okay. It's a bit pretentious but it was manageable. There's an isolated, island house donated to a historical society and it's filled with old books.
For once, instead of Sunday school attendance certificates, old emigration documents, envelopes of unidentified farmer's Sunday photographs and withered love letters, something of read value had been left to them.
A librarian (Lou) is sent there for the summer to categorize and catalog the collection. There's an old bear chained up that was the family pet that our Lou needs to care for.
At this point, the book wasn't too bad. It wasn't particularly gripping but hey. Not bad. Then we get to the "First Look":
As she sat down, she realized the bear was standing in his doorway staring at her.
Bear. There. Staring.
She stared back.
Again, not bad. She starts to befriend the bear, bringing him food, petting his fur, giving him anthropomorphic characteristics....essentially all the things that even a five year old knows NOT to do with a wild animal.
At one point Lou walks the bear on his chain to the island's edge and as the bear swims, she jumps in naked.
Yes, it was a bit odd - it was odd that she thinks of the bear with so many human emotions, that she goes skinny-dipping with him, that she notices his very "male-ness" when she first meets him....but I maintain that at this point, there wasn't any indication that things were going to go so far south.
I remember thinking, "Oh jeez. That's those fancy-novels. Free spirits. Wouldn't it be funny if..."
Turns out, that was not funny.
To summarize the rest of the book: (And note, I'm summarizing this in the blandest way possible but I'm still putting it as a spoiler - so you have been warned):
Did the side character know? Did anyone find out? What was the plot?
Honestly, from pg 80 on I skipped every page that involved genitalia and stimulation thus reading maybe 20 of the 40 remaining pages. It was just too much.
I didn't get the plot but I am not going back for it.
I'm seriously questioning every positive thought I had about this series. Is the last one just so much worse than the rest or was the whole series terI'm seriously questioning every positive thought I had about this series. Is the last one just so much worse than the rest or was the whole series terrible and I never noticed?
Latest BookTube Video is up - a totally serious take on writing Young Adult Lit!
The Written Review
An absolute dumpster fire
I do not say this
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Latest BookTube Video is up - a totally serious take on writing Young Adult Lit!
The Written Review
An absolute dumpster fire
I do not say this lightly. This has (quite possibly) been the most difficult book I've ever forced myself through.
It violated the three "Big Three": Plot, Character and Dialogue. I can handle a book is a bit sucky on any one of those, or even two. But all three? The entire book? Are. You. Kidding.
The Plot (aka The Plotholes)
After you die on Earth, your Firstlife is over. You then have three options. If you signed with one of the two realms (Troika and Myriad aka Heaven and Hell), you will go there. If you are Unsigned, you go to Many Ends (Purgatory).
Tenely (our main character) is at the age of consent (17) and thus can be recruited by either side. She declines to make a decision and is thrown into essentially a concentration camp by her parents until either (A) she signs with one or (B) she ages out (at 18).
Troika and Myriad are at war and have been at war for over a hundred years and are constantly sending "laborers" to recruit more soldiers. BUT it's never explained (A) the purpose of the war and (B) what they are fighting for.
Let me repeat this: The entire plot of this book is which side Tenley will choose to fight for and we have no idea why they're fighting.
The best part? The book goes on and on about how there's No Second Chance - once you die, that's it and you can never go back. Tenley died four times.
The Characters (aka My Hit List)
We center on Tenley - a particularly special girl with a special destiny and an especially special personality. She's a quirky special snowflake.
“Oh, and let’s not forget the time I was waterboarded. So fun!” Shut up! common sense shouts. I’m oversharing when it’s time to be a vault. Oh, who cares? This is a wonderful day, and I love absolutely everyone!
Just picture an entire book filled with that...and add in the obsessive number comparisons which crops up because she's Ten-ley. Get it? GET IT? It's so quirky!!
“Just thirteen streaks of blood.” In the ancient past, thirteen steps led to the gallows. A hangman’s noose has thirteen knots. At thirteen, children are considered teenagers.
Tenley is relentlessly pursued by two Laborers - Archer (Troika) and Killian (Myriad) - hell-bent on getting her to sign with their realm and getting into her pants. They are technically in their Secondlife but can possess Shells to interact with the human world.
Also, they are unbelievably hot (like you have no idea how completely gorgeous they are. OMG. heavy breathing.). Don't believe me? Sloan (the former mean girl / sworn enemy) completely collapses at the sight of them - regressing to the mind of an elementary child:
“He’s hot,” Sloan says in a stage whisper. Hoping he’ll hear and respond? Then she gives up all pretense of timidity and makes grabby hands. “Yummy yum yum, give baby some sugar.”
But of course, in typical YA dogma, both hotties completely fall in love with the quirky main character within the first day. Thus burdening her overtaxed mind with more decisions. It's a rough life.
The Dialogue (aka How Was this Typed with a Straight Face??)
Now I smile sweetly at him. “Cockiness kills as surely as this knife.” I use the tip of my weapon to give his berries a little pat.
Archer (along with the other characters but he's especially like this) is given that "edgy humor" - which came off as cripplingly cringey:
"If your lady balls are so big, why don’t they call you Hairy Cherries? Or Furry Meatballs?"
Or this:
"Well, duh. Because neither name describes your explosive temper. Oh! I know. I’ll call you Sperm Bank! It covers the balls and the explosions."
Or this:
"Boobs are awesome, yeah? Literal fun-bags. I don’t know what you girls are always complaining about."
Killian aka the "he-slut" (EXCUSE ME GENA SHOWALTER, it's man-whore and you know it) has finally found love through Tenley. Sure he used to bang everything that moved but Tenley tamed him with just a look. Oh, and he's Irish because he says Lass. Eighteen times.
The Summary (aka this is literally me the entire time)
Me vs. Tenley [image]
Tenley: [image]
Me: [image]
After all my complaining, there is something positive that can be gained. If this can be published, anything can happen. Never give up on your dreams.
The Finer Books Club - 2018 Reading Challenge: A book a friend doesn't recommend
P.s. With many thanks to Angela's Booked for "not recommending" this book.
P.p.s. I will be reading Book 2 solely to "not recommend" it to you.
To keep this review from getting as long (and as bloated) as th
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A Smarter girl would turn and run
To be fair...the author tried to warn me.
To keep this review from getting as long (and as bloated) as the book, I will focus on the three worst aspects - the prison, the characters and the sexay scenes.
Mare's Prison or should I say, my vacation?
The entire book consists of Mare whining about how difficult life was...It's just...come on. Really? What does she have to whine about?
I've been broken too many times to break again.
Her "prison" includes: A private bathroom, a personal library, meals three times a day, makeovers, fancy gowns and kingdom tours. Sign me the f*ck up
But like a dog starved, I’ll take whatever scraps I’m given. Whatever passes for kindness in this lonely cage.
Really, REALLY Mare? What scraps? You were invited to be a bridesmaid at a royal wedding. oh boo-hoo
To top it all - Mare gets PTSD flashbacks. PTSD flashbacks after her eventual rescue. Girl. Are. You. Kidding. Me. Your prison is a $500-a-night hotel stay.
The Charactersor should I say, the CHARACTER??
Now, one annoying character doesn't spoil the book - unfortunately, this was not the case because Every Character is Mare.
I listened to the audiobook and each perspective had a different "voice" (posh for Evangeline, British for Farley and "black" for Cameron (yes, picture a stereotypical "black" accent with a hint of Jamaican.) (no one else has that accent, just the sole black girl perspective)).
Without the clear distinctions brought on by the audiobook, telling apart the characters became really difficult. Therefore, I've written a cheat-sheet for those who only have the text:
How to tell your Mare from your Mare -- 101
--Original Mare: Whiny, self-pitying garbage human. She regularly kills people and only feels "remorse" when convenient for the plot. She literally was made into a princess-to-be but threw it all away cause she had to read a paragraph of propaganda
--Cameron: The younger, whinier Mare. She's the token diversity character and manages to "hate" Mare while simultaneously admiring her. She constantly refers back to her intricately braded hair...because she's the only black character. The author uses these "subtle hints" at her skin color every freaking time we are at her perspective.
--Evangeline: The older, posher Mare but with SURPRISE SHE'S GAY twist. This came out of the blue. It honestly feels like Aveyard threw the twist in because she needed to fill her LGBT+ quota.
--Farley: Pregnant Mare, anyone? Manages to run an entire army while growing a tiny human yet everyone is more impressed with Mare surviving "prison." Farley has a hardcore British accent yet no one from her hometown (or her family) has that accent. The accent is possibly the greatest mystery of this series.
--Cal: What would Mare be like if she was a guy?
--Maven: What would Mare be if she was an EVIL guy?
The "Sexay" Partsor should I say the wet blankets?
Now, I'm all for a little bit of a YA smooch-a-roo fest but...these scenes just had me going "ewww". Honestly, what is with authors making every boy have a unique taste? For example, Cal's mouth tasted of:
salt and smoke
and I'm hard-pressed to think of something less appealing thing to stick my tongue in. How does that even happen?
Then, there's the awkward bath scene. Picture this: Maven, naked in a bath, bubbles up to his ears, a bit of pre-pubescent chest hairs waving in the water...as he has a complete conversation with Mare.
BUT - don't worry, our demure heroine wasn't tempted to look because she's:
familiar with the male form
after living with her father and brothers. Shudder.
And then, just when I thought we were done with the awkward scenes...we reach... The SEXY mud-makeout.
Let me set the scene: It's cold, it's raining, there thick clumps of soggy mud everywhere...and Mare says, let's make out hunkysugarbear. Mare tosses her shirt in the mud and throws Cal's in the mud too.
Excuse me?
You're in a forest, at least throw it on a bush. Who wouldn't be pissed if someone threw their stuff in the mud? Cal. That's who. Cause he was too busy downing a liter of salt and setting it on fire to get ready for his big kiss.
I think I'm getting too old for this.
Audiobook Comments Read by Amanda Dolan. Now it could be because I absolutely hated this pointless waste of paper...but I disliked the audio as well. Everything sounded so bland. Bleh.
Also, it really bugged me that when we swapped perspectives, the accents of all the other characters changed slightly. Is consistency too much to ask for?
If I hadn't sworn to read everything by Neil Gaiman, I would have avoided this altogether. That being said, I wish I would've skipped this one.
The stoIf I hadn't sworn to read everything by Neil Gaiman, I would have avoided this altogether. That being said, I wish I would've skipped this one.
The story line in a word? Disturbing. The main plot, involving the human boy, seemed to have a dream-like quality with the whimsical treatment of time and scene. However, this is not one of the happy-little-dreams. This is an endless nightmare. The secondary plot involves the puppet show. In the show, Mr. Punch is violent in the extreme - he beats his wife and baby to death, kills the copper and so on.
Normally, I'd call for a different artist...yet, in this case, the art matched the plot. It was ugly, creepy and disturbing. You can see from the cover but here are a few more examples:
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Note: Despite what Mr. Punch says in the image above, the baby was not "asleep" - you can guess what Mr. Punch did to the poor thing.
This one is so far out of the ballpark that we are in the next county or possibly country.
The Main Pain : Character Stupidity
Example: Thomas and the rag-tag group fly from one part of the country to another to seek the TRUTH.
The absolute worst part - they park their flying ship right outside of city gates AND use "fake" paperwork (with their real names) to get into the city.
Then, they are completely flabbergasted when they are immediately tracked down by WICKED.
They spend so much time wondering aloud how this could have happened. Could you imagine a more blazing trail?
This behavior is not a one-off. The entire book is centered around acts and decisions like this.
The OTHER Main Pain: "Love Triangle"
Now, if you think the romance with Theresa was shoe-horned in - you are going to absolutely hate the Brenda one.
There's so much competition for Thomas and I have yet to see a competent argument for why either of them of them are interested.
Thomas spends the whole book mooning over one and then the other - it didn't build tension, I just became apathetic.
PICK ONE ALREADY.
The OTHER, OTHER Main Pain: Missing Memory
Eventually, Thomas gets the chance to finally figure everything out. FINALLY - the audience is going to get some answers for such an incredibly convoluted and precariously written novel.
AKA I waded through 3 novels only for the main character to go, "ehhh, I'd rather keep everything shrouded in mystery.
It felt like the author wrote himself into a corner and used Thomas's lame excuse to *not* have to fully answer the many (many) questions that arose throughout the book. (hide spoiler)]
Rarely, (and I mean rarely) do I abhor a book to its very core.
In an effort to give some structure to my upcoming rant, I will limit myself t[image]
Rarely, (and I mean rarely) do I abhor a book to its very core.
In an effort to give some structure to my upcoming rant, I will limit myself to the things I disliked the most: The title, the writing and (of course) how our heroine is actually a terrible, horrible person.
The Title
I literally cannot get over this title. So much over-the-top symbolism... but not in the way the author wanted.
All I took away from it was, my God. How useless.
Anything is better than a glass sword. A wooden one, a plastic one, heck...even a french bread one provides nourishment.
One swing of the stupid glass thing and the sword's gone and splintered itself. Then you're left stepping on glass shards for the next few weeks...which is what it felt like to read this book.
Actually, I guess the title works. Glass swords - cumbersome, annoying, useless...just like Mare.
The Writing
For the life of me, I honestly can't say what this book was about. It was so bland and repetitive that I tuned out for great portions...yet, I don't think I missed a thing.
The author would either A) say the same thing three times per sentence or B) copy-paste the inane catchphrases (Red Dawn, Little Lightening Girl, Rise Red as the Dawn, etc).
I wanted to shake her - I GET IT THE DAWN IS RED AND MARE HAS LIGHTENING POWERS. And yet, in another three paragraphs, we are reminded just how red that dawn was and how Mare still had lightening powers.
The sheer laziness of the writing really annoyed the living daylights out of me.
Whenever things get the least bit tough, Mare conveniently finds just the perfect person with the exact right powers to achieve (insert plot point here). Then side-character dies. Rinse and Repeat.
How our heroine is actually a terrible, horrible person
We follow Mare and her rag-tag group of middle-aged superheros ran here and there as a giant X-men recruitment fest.
She's so full of righteous anger and rebellious spirit that she never once thinks about the implications and consequences of her actions.
Honestly, I couldn't be the only one who noticed how there must have been generations of powered Reds living out their lives in secrecy.
Well, until Mare showed up and pressed them into her army...only to either A) ruin their lives or B) get them killed (depending on which was more convenient for the plot)
To top it all, she has no feelings towards the dying people other than an initial shock/squeal of outrage. You think I'm kidding? Even the other characters noticed it.
"You [Mare] feel no remorse for the dead...you can't control yourself."
and yet, everyone in the book admires her bravery and strength.
They literally fawn over her like she's this amazing, self-sacrificing, pure-to-the-bone heroine. How (honestly, I want to know) does no one notice that all she does is A) murder people or B) force them into her army.
In short, this is a half-star book. The half is because of the sheer effort it took to come up with over 400 pages starring Mare...I don't know how the author did it.
Audiobook Comments Listening to the bland monotone a la Amanda Dolan did this book no favors.
People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets.
Umm, no honey. You're thinking of something else...
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Of the three books, this
People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets.
Umm, no honey. You're thinking of something else...
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Of the three books, this book is the long-neglected and likely disturbed middle child.
Not as fun as the first nor as smart as the third. Doesn't contribute or stand out. Essentially, it's just there, staring at us and wanting us to notice it.
The "plot": Tris & Co. are betrayed, run to a new faction, cue long description of new faction/faction life, Tris & Co. are betrayed...run to new faction...etc.
Literally, the whole book is Tris running around of the Divergent world. It's like Veronica spent too much time designing these factions and didn't want the effort to go to waste...hence we get the grand tour.
Well, I shouldn't say that's all we get...we also get gems like this:
“Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," I say. "Controlling you is.”
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You could completely skip this novel and not miss a thing for the third. Oh wait. They do use the classic 'government knew of everything and manipulated every possible thing to get this exact outcome.' Lovely.
My favorite part? When Veronica Roth assumed we were too stupid to understand the title:
Insurgent, he says. Noun. A person who acts in opposition to the established authority, who is not necessarily regarded as a belligerent.
New week, New BookTube Video - all about the best (and worst) literary couples
The Written Review
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Divergent - the Walmart of Young Adult
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New week, New BookTube Video - all about the best (and worst) literary couples
The Written Review
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Divergent - the Walmart of Young Adult
Enjoy the selflessness of Katnis? Love the Harry Potter houses? Adore the will-they-won't-they love from Twilight?
Well, here's the watered down combination of every YA series out there.
There's Tris - the most annoying main character I've met in a while.
The pendulum swings from - from "oh look at me I am such an innocent little abnegation gal - I don't even look into a mirror cause I'm so selfless" to (and this is within a couple of chapters) "I'm the strongest girl ever, selfish to the max, got a hot boyfriend, suck it"...and back again... Constantly.
There's character development and then there's multiple personalities.
There's Four - the super-hot looooooove interest.
He fulfills the roll of Slightly Creepy Older Guy Fixating on the Innocent. He's her teacher and she's completely sheltered - cue the romance. Okay, they're only 2 years apart, but that's still statutory in my state.
Like I get it's supposed to be a steamy PG romance, but this seems borderline abuse:
"My first instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press," he says, his fingers squeezing at the word "break."
This book focuses far too much on forcing the relationship and shoe-horning Tris into the self-sacrificing hero role that there's little time for anything else...like a plot.
So, I could go on...and on...and on with my nitpicking on this series but instead, I will leave you with my favorite scene of the book.
The Shower Scene aka the let's get Tris naked ...BECAUSE REASONS
This is the scene where Tris learns that she can't fit in her clothes cause her thigh muscles were SO BIG after training in dauntless for a couple of weeks.
While this raises a number of concerning questions, namely - HOW did they grow in the 15 minutes it took to take a shower? and if she is such a body-shamed abnegation girl, then why in the world couldn't she just wear her old clothes back to the dorm?
But we will disregard the obvious logic and solutions for the sake of the plot.
Due to her thunder thighs, Tris was "forced" to walk back in a towel to the dorms. The tension to skyrockets with this completely unnecessary nude scene which consisted of several rape-y vibes and the complete humiliation of Tris - all to let the audience know that the Bad Guys are really Mean.
(slow clapping in the background)
Overall, not particularly excited about reading the next one.
Audiobook Comments Honestly, not that memorable. BIG pile of meh.
The apocalypse has hit the world. Unexplained phenomena crop up everywhere. Coyotes-that-weren't-quite-cThis was a bubbling cesspool meandering mess.
The apocalypse has hit the world. Unexplained phenomena crop up everywhere. Coyotes-that-weren't-quite-coyotes, people coming back to the dead and a sudden invasion of creatures that were altogether unsettling. Molly and her husband feel a pull to the city and set off - to save their town or die trying.
Enter the blandest main character I have met in a long, long while: Molly Sloan. I disliked her from start to finish. I can't really pinpoint why I hated her with such a passion. It didn't help that her voice in the audiobook was sing-songy and nasally. And she was a bit annoying and woe-is-me in the book. I'll put it down to her Mary-Sue-ness.
The apocalypse aspects were pretty good (creepy talking dolls, the invading creatures) but the characters kept ruining things for me. The story had a quick pace but there's a difference between fast-paced and just throwing inexplicable events at you. The book either dragged or zipped by - never a healthy balance. No in between.
The heavy-handed religious twist deeply unsettled me. It felt like a perversion on religious themes for shock value and changed this book from 2.5 stars to barely a 1 in my eyes.
I adored Odd Thomas but now I realize that a series like that may be a once-in-an-author's-lifetime sort of thing.
Audiobook Comments I honestly can't distinguish whether I hated Molly more or her voice.
Latest BookTube Video is up - a totally serious take on writing Young Adult Lit!
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You know that feeling when you read a particularly ba
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Latest BookTube Video is up - a totally serious take on writing Young Adult Lit!
[image]
You know that feeling when you read a particularly bad YA and you just have to set down the book and ask, why?
Why in the world did someone give the ok to publish this mess?
Why are the characters so effing dumb?
Why did I even pick this book up?
This happens (on average) once per YA book for me... and Aveyard's book was so far above average that I was honestly impressed.
This book had me questioning everything
WHY is everything always Mare's fault?
Her sister getting caught for stealing? Totally Mare's fault.
Rebel uprising? Totally on Mare's shoulders.
Causing countless deaths on account of her misguided sense of justice? Wait, yeah, that one is actually on her
...There is a difference between taking responsibility for your actions and squeezing out every last ounce of sympathy for your main character.
This is a case of the latter.
WHY is everything repeated three times?
Is there a word count limit Aveyard was building to?
Did someone regift a thesaurus to her last Christmas?
If so, why can't she find any synonyms for Red as the Dawn?
That bloody crimson freaking dawn was the bane of my existence.
WHY is there so much angst??
There's excusable teenage angst...and there's what we had to read.
It's like, come on, they (Mare's captors) literally made Mare read one paragraph of propaganda in exchange for letting her marry the hot prince.
Stop complaining about the "torture" - they LITERALLY made you a princess.
WHY are first fridays even mentioned at all??
It's like in one chapter and then the entire city/world totally forgot they were a thing.
It's like Aveyard was like, "Let's throw in a bit of Hunger Games" but then her editors said, "Sorry, there's a whole series about that." and then they forgot to delete it from the manuscript.
WHY did I pick up this book?
Don't actually have a good reason other than a friend said they thought it was terrible and wanted my opinion.
Guess we figured out that...
Audiobook Comments The reader really embodied Mare, which made listening to this book really terrible. Every whine was emphasized, ever pout was pouted...I ended up listening to this one on 1.5x speed just to get through it faster.