THE BASTARD, MULLETTED LOVE CHILD OF ELMORE LEONARD, CARL HIAASEN, AND TANGO & CASH
Holy fucking flaming shitballs of glory. This book is EXACTLY what THE BASTARD, MULLETTED LOVE CHILD OF ELMORE LEONARD, CARL HIAASEN, AND TANGO & CASH
Holy fucking flaming shitballs of glory. This book is EXACTLY what I wanted. At once crime fiction, scathing satire of pop culture (80's and now), and a buddy cop story straight out of Satan's wet dreams. I would give it 69 stars if I could.
(Get it? 69? Like sex stuff? Get it? Yeah you do.)...more
This gritty, entertaining anthology of short wrestling-based fiction sounds like it's a thing that shouldn't exist. But it DOES. It DOES exist, and itThis gritty, entertaining anthology of short wrestling-based fiction sounds like it's a thing that shouldn't exist. But it DOES. It DOES exist, and it is fantastic.
Now, don't be off-put by its rasslin'-centricity. With many stories, the oft-maligned sports entertainment is simply the delivery system to get good fiction into your brain. And that's where good fiction belongs, right? Can we agree on that? Great.
This, more than anything else, is just a superb collection of grit lit. At turns dark, bloody, thoughtful, demonic, tragic, hilarious.
Go snap into this one, OHHHHH YEAHHHHHH! (sorry)...more
An excellent addition to the Titanborn universe. Some "before the book" adventures of Collector Graves. It definitely fleshes out some of the previousAn excellent addition to the Titanborn universe. Some "before the book" adventures of Collector Graves. It definitely fleshes out some of the previously-hinted-at backstory.
Highly recommended for fans of the series, and of gritty sci-fi/noir in general....more
A gripping sci-fi revolution tale written by someone who knows his business.
This book is set in the same universe as Rhett Bruno's previous book, TitaA gripping sci-fi revolution tale written by someone who knows his business.
This book is set in the same universe as Rhett Bruno's previous book, Titanborn, which I also really enjoyed. In fact, one of the awesome things about this book is that it is set in the same basic timeframe, but shows the OTHER side of events.
So, here's the thing. Looong ago (but still in the future for us), Earth was about to be slammed by space-rock, a la President Morgan Freeman. Some of the population was all like, "EFF this place, we out!" and moved to other, less gravity-ish planets to eke out a hard but honest life. Some of the people were like, "No damn space-rock is gonna scare me!" and stayed, with a small percentage actually surviving the impact and the devastation to Earth that resulted.
Fast forward generations into the future, and there are Earthers (descendants of thems that stayed) and Ringers (descendants of thems that left). They reunite, and eventually the Ringers are completely subjugated by the Earthers. You know, virtual enslavement and complete exploitation of people that are different from us. Because we're dicks, and that's how we historically and ever-lastingly roll.
Backstory phase complete. So this book follows a Ringer worker/sometimes-thief as he gets drawn into a conspiracy that may have far-reaching results.
Like in his previous book, Bruno takes a very well-known literary trope (the aforementioned "regular dude" pulled into a political conspiracy/revolution") and breathes new and glorious life into it. This world is fully-fleshed out, the characters well-written and complex, the themes behind the words thoughtful and important.
I really enjoyed this book, and look forward to reading MOOOOORE set in this world!...more
So this Adam Howe guy.....what can I say about him?
He can WRITE. And his joy in such writing is not only obvious, it's infecting. Like some literary So this Adam Howe guy.....what can I say about him?
He can WRITE. And his joy in such writing is not only obvious, it's infecting. Like some literary bubonic plague, it spreads to you, and leaves you eagerly afflicted.
This is the sequel to his "Damn Dirty Apes" story from his previous collection Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and it is a GREAT read. Snappy dialog, excellent action, funny as all goddamned hell. And Nic Cage is in it, man! Nic Cage!!
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Yes sir, Mr. Cage, sir. Bitches, indeed.
If Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard had a love child that was stolen and raised in the wilderness by Christopher Moore and a T-Rex, that would be cool. Oh, and that love child would probably write laugh-out-loud and blood-in-your-eyes crime-lit like THIS.
Do yourself a favor, and spread your eyes over this story of hasbeen boxer-cum-bouncer Reggie Levine as he blunders into misadventures involving horny terriers, overweight strippers, sleazy car salesmen, prison lovers, sex donkeys, and love that can never be. And Nic fuckin' Cage.
This was a well-written and highly enjoyable travelogue through the post-Civil War South.
We follow our protagonist, the instantly relatable Abe Brown,This was a well-written and highly enjoyable travelogue through the post-Civil War South.
We follow our protagonist, the instantly relatable Abe Brown, and a man named Luke Sprague, the very definition of "frenemy," and the artist whose rapid skills give the book its title.
The varied (and mostly horrible) adventures these fellers go through are almost Odysseian in scope and craziness. Entertainingly dark and disturbing characters abound, while Abe just tries to get back home, and Luke just plain ticks every single person off.
One of my favorite parts of this story was Abe's voice. He cuts to the heart of the matter, and dispenses old-timey wisdom with such unintentional and humble beauty.
Highly recommended for fans of Southern gothics, road movies, and American historical fiction....more
Hopefully, my rating and/or review doesn't keep people from checking this novel out. It's written well, it just wasn't what I expected and, ultimatelyHopefully, my rating and/or review doesn't keep people from checking this novel out. It's written well, it just wasn't what I expected and, ultimately, desired it to be.
I was hoping for a gritty jail story. And there's some of that, just not nearly as much as I wanted. Every time the jail story got good, there'd be chapter upon chapter of backstory chronicling the death of a relationship. I could probably have dealt with it better if I didn't feel that both of the people in said relationship should have their heads cracked open for milk.
I think the problem is with me, my expectations, and my apparently unshared need to have main characters I give a shit about. Regardless, two stars means 'it was ok,' and.....eh.....it was ok. ...more
There were three novellas shoved into this book, and all were excellent in different ways.
DAMN DIRTY APES
PartSo this Adam Howe motherfucker can write.
There were three novellas shoved into this book, and all were excellent in different ways.
DAMN DIRTY APES
Part crime-story, part grit-lit, part monster-hunting saga. This was very entertaining, at times laugh-out-loud funny, and good 'n' bloody.
DIE DOG OR EAT THE HATCHET
Did I say that other one was bloody? Holy shit. This takes the classic psycho-slasher fiction and turns it on its ass with a delicious twist. And don't even ask what happens when its ass gets turned. Ew.
GATOR BAIT
This was an expertly written piece of swamp noir. Blood and booze, dames and drunks, and a hungry bull 'gator named Big George. My favorite of the three stories, but they're all amazing.
Fans of noir, crime-lit, and blood rejoice! Adam Howe is here!...more
Ahhh, and I was finally able to slip back into this world. I thank the author, for providing me with an ARC in exchange for fucking blah blah blah.
YouAhhh, and I was finally able to slip back into this world. I thank the author, for providing me with an ARC in exchange for fucking blah blah blah.
You guys, oh shit, for reals: you've never read fantasy like Plague Jack's fantasy. All the wondrous benefits of his writing that I praised in my review of the first book in this series (you can read that here) are still very much present. In fact, if anything, he's gotten sharper and slicker with his prose.
And we go deep, DEEP into shit this time 'round. We're thrust into the motivations of the Gods themselves: why they made the world, where all the myriad non-human races came from, and why the fuck some of them resurrect dead children as beings with unimaginable power.
I'll start by saying this isn't my usual kind of anthology. Normally, the collections of short fiction that I read are full of stories involving hideoI'll start by saying this isn't my usual kind of anthology. Normally, the collections of short fiction that I read are full of stories involving hideous monster-creatures, or human-killing alien creatures, or undead hungry-for-living-flesh creatures. (And sometimes, during my more shameful times, people who have sex with some or all of the aforementioned creatures.)
This collection, though, deals with freedoms. Freedoms imagined, or taken for granted, or stripped away, or taken to a ridiculous level. This is some thinky-level short fiction. And I am grateful to the publishers for providing me with an ARC copy in exchange for a fair review.
So my review is thus: this book made me THINK. Not allowing you to just devour words like candy, these stories had some mind-gristle that gets caught in your teeth. You had to puzzle over some. You had to steel yourself and deal with others.
Some of my favorites in this anthology were the stories by Amberle L. Husbands, Forrest Aguirre, and Marissa James, but I didn't dislike a single story. That's pretty rare in a short story collection, dontcha think? Yes, I do think. This book MADE me think. I've already gone over that.
Above and beyond the stories, though, it's actually the introduction by the editor, Brandon H. Bell, that really stuck with me. He writes of his daughter's school removing pages from Anne Frank's famous diary before handing it over as teaching material. He states, and I'm paraphrasing here, that you can't fucking teach PART of history. You can't cover someone's eyes during the bad parts and think that they'll learn anything other than that mistruth is acceptable.
I wholeheartedly agree, and with this in mind, I loved the glimpses of freedoms and lack thereof that this collection gave me....more
Man, I've been really batting home runs with my fantasy selections so far. This book was exactly what I love in a fantasy novel.
The world-building: toMan, I've been really batting home runs with my fantasy selections so far. This book was exactly what I love in a fantasy novel.
The world-building: top-notch. I've never seen a fantasy realm like this before. The elvses and dwarfses and itty-bitty-spriteses are there, but they're treated the way they'd be treated in the REAL world. Namely, they're brutally subjugated and oppressed for not being exactly like US.
The character-development: O so fucking satisfying. These are characters to fall in love with, even the ones you hate. Especially the ones you hate.
The dialogue: well done. This is where many great writers can fall flat, in my opinion. Have the best settings and characters and events as you want, but if the people don't talk like people, it can be a drag. These people (and other things) DO talk like people, and dirty-mouthed people at that. And I personally LOVE it when a dwarf says 'fuck,' or an elf drops the ol' C-bomb.
The action: written so it's easy to follow and not tedious! Can you believe it?! It's not pages of step-by-step color commentary on the fights, all feigns and ripostes with rapiers and shit.
The magic: brutal and kinda gross. The way to get magic in this world is to be gifted it by the gods, but the gods are kinda fucked up, and their power makes the recipients kinda fucked up, too. The power can't help but corrupt.
Overall: I absolutely loved this book. And you can tell this is just the opening volley of a much larger campaign. I wait with eager anticipation for further opportunities to slip back into this world again....more
so, i won't lie. i have a complicated relationship with Bizarro fiction. so i was struggling with certain parts, while i read this, and i wasn't sure so, i won't lie. i have a complicated relationship with Bizarro fiction. so i was struggling with certain parts, while i read this, and i wasn't sure how the rating would sort itself out until the final climactic scenes.
why doth i hath problems with Bizarro, you may ask? because its very nature lends itself to sloppy writing habits. for instance:
"hey, after the fight, we'll just say the main character's been shot."
"um, ok. why?"
because the next scene needs to happen in a hospital."
"ok, but....why just MAKE him be shot? shouldn't there be, like, a reason? or at least a someone that actually DID the shooting?"
"fuck no. we'll just say, ummmmm....that a fucking hummingbird with purple pubic hair swooped down, shot him, mumbled something about Cthulu, and flew away."
"WHAT? why the FUCK would we say that? what gives us the right to just throw bullshit, nonsensical plot contrivances in there? don't the readers deserve something better?"
"nah, fuck 'em. it's bIzAaAaAaArO!!!!" **waves hands in the air like a shitty magician**
so yeah, i have my problems with Bizarro, sometimes. and yeah, those problems reared their heads a couple times in this book. but it was worth it.
this story has tough guys, mean girls, an excellently created Weird West setting, villains that rape, heroes that kill, and a multi-vagina'd fellatio ghost.
plus, as i mentioned above, the ending is just plain awesome....more
i'll warn you, this review may seem rambling. that's just the mood this book put me in. deal with it, mother fucker.
i had gone camping when i started i'll warn you, this review may seem rambling. that's just the mood this book put me in. deal with it, mother fucker.
i had gone camping when i started this book. as there was, i knew, to be numerous drunken attempts to stay upright in canoes, i decided to leave my trusty and beloved e-reader at home. so whilst packing, i scoured the homestead for one of those old-fashioned paper-type books. i found the signed copy of this, so kindly sent to me from the author, under a pile of Secret Avenger comics and a pair of rusty practice sais. "cowabunga," i murmured to myself, slipped it into a plastic freezer bag, and added it to the bottles of whiskey and packets of meat i was bringing. it proved to be the best part of the trip.
there is a part, in this book, where a main character brings up her guilty love of examining others' bookshelves. she specifically comments that, with the heavy onset of e-readers, the opportunity to do this is fading. it is impersonal, she says, to just open a window on someone's tablet and look through a list of files. i felt the author was speaking to me, here. a little printed high-five for getting pulp in my hands again. it was appreciated.
this book surprised me with its beautiful, surrealistic eloquence. this is a neo-noir sci-fi crime novel in the same way that sex is a fun activity, or childbirth a discomfort, or eating jellybeans a taste of sweetness: describing the experience with a label does it no justice. this story transported me, the characters and their dialog carried me to someplace foreign and familiar at the same time.
i WAS Alaska when i was reading his bits. i WAS Sufjan and Karl. i wasn't Jane, but that's because i'm not good enough to be Jane. her bits were the best. (take that as you will.)
go spend some money on this book. go. now. for real. ...more
This book starts with the gore, forbidden sexual degradation, and just plain balls-to-the-grindstone weirdness cranked up to 11. And it sOh Holy Shit.
This book starts with the gore, forbidden sexual degradation, and just plain balls-to-the-grindstone weirdness cranked up to 11. And it stays there the whole time. There's no pause for breath, to allow you to collect yourself and attempt to get what's left of your mind around this story. It rapes your mind, and you can't help but climax, even as you hate yourself for it.
I received an e-copy of this book direct from the author for a fair and honest review. And now I'm not sure if i should thank him, or sue him. Or marry him. Or all fucking three....more
This was an extremely entertaining read. Mixing elements of Norse mythology, urban fantasy, and classic detective fiction, it was right up my alley!
I This was an extremely entertaining read. Mixing elements of Norse mythology, urban fantasy, and classic detective fiction, it was right up my alley!
I got a signed copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway, and was impressed by how quickly the story drew me in. Loki is an immediately likable protagonist.
My only problem with the story: it's so short! It got me hungry for more, and then ended. It seems more of a prologue to the continuing Loki adventures.
I am eagerly awaiting the next installment, 'For Sale, Call Loki.'...more
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