Depression can make everything much more difficult than it looks. Getting out of bed can be a nearly insurmountable challenge, let alone putting a penDepression can make everything much more difficult than it looks. Getting out of bed can be a nearly insurmountable challenge, let alone putting a pen to paper to draw or to write. Add a global pandemic into the mix, and it's truly astonishing that Zoe Thorogood got anything done at all - but get it done she did. She persevered, at times kicking and screaming, sure, to document six months of her life in comic book form. IT'S LONELY AT THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH is the result of that.
I'd not read Thorogood's work before, but I was struck by the beautiful artwork and the insightful self-examination that was offered up in this book. She puts herself under the microscope revealing warts and all - or mask-induced acne outbreaks. She examines the dark side of herself, and the difficulty of reaching success and still not finding happiness. Other reviewers have called her pretentious and self-absorbed, and I'm sure she calls herself that as well, but often-times this is part of the process of just living with depression.
It would be a cliche to call this book relatable, but I'd be pretty darn surprised if a lot of creative types didn't relate to, and feel sympathy for her over the course of reading this. Everyone struggles to some degree, I can only hope that she finds some peace and happiness in her life. One of the most damaging cliches of the artistic world is that you have to hate yourself and be depressed in order to create. These things can be managed if you put the work in and get the right help.
There's hope out there, and I imagine this book will help an awful lot of people find hope in their own lives, too. I hope Zoe finds it in her own life....more
My review of this book, and interview with the author, will be available on The Folklore Podcast shortly. I'll link to both when they're live.My review of this book, and interview with the author, will be available on The Folklore Podcast shortly. I'll link to both when they're live....more
This is the only book Jan Bryant Bartell wrote, and it was published posthumously. This is notable for a number of reasons, not the least of which is This is the only book Jan Bryant Bartell wrote, and it was published posthumously. This is notable for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that Bartell, if the book is to be believed, is just one victim of many. A victim of what you ask? Well, a haunting. A bad house. The sort of house that The Haunting of Hill House or Hell House was about.
SPINDRIFT is a memoir about the time that Bartell spent living in the haunted house. She begins as a skeptic, and her husband remains a skeptic throughout the events of the book, but man is it compelling. The experiences she writes about are not the sort of over-the-top things that existed in The Amityville Horrors. Instead it's the quiet horror. A cat where there shouldn't be one. Strange noises and cold chills. The sort of maddening small changes that make you wonder if a gas leak was involved.
Until she travels and the synchronicity continue to pile on.
Bartell does not seem like an easy person to live with. She's a character, an actress always looking for an audience. She also has a vibrant voice and a story that is well worth reading.
This is an unusual book, one that first came to my attention thanks to The Hidden History of Invisible Women which has its own SPINDRIFT experiences within it. I hope that book propels this one into the spotlight once more - it's a haunting worth talking about and knowing. ...more
This is the other book that helped me through my bout with COVID.
Everyone knows that child stars tend not to have a very good life. We've heard storieThis is the other book that helped me through my bout with COVID.
Everyone knows that child stars tend not to have a very good life. We've heard stories of abuse, eating disorders, and withheld money. Some of it turned into schoolyard gossip when I was growing up. I wasn't quite the right generation to have grown up on Jennette McCurdy's work, but I still understood some of the references peppered throughout this memoir. Some of the offending parties referenced within this book were the architects of my childhood - so many shows that I did grow up on, and so many people knee deep in NDAs to avoid sharing exactly the sort of details that McCurdy has been brave enough to write about here.
Like many, I am grateful for McCurdy writing this book. I admire her bravery, and how honest she has been about her struggles. As dark as this book is, and it is plenty dark, she writes with a clarity and wit that is infectious read. There's also the added uplifting slant of it all since she, unlike many, has survived these ordeals. She's still with us, still writing, and hopefully not going anywhere.
I'm not saying anything that hasn't already been said, so I'll just leave with this. Thank you, Jenette McCurdy. ...more
Alison Bechdel is perhaps best known now for The Bechdel Test, though prefers the name Bechdel-Wallace test, which purports to determine whether or n Alison Bechdel is perhaps best known now for The Bechdel Test, though prefers the name Bechdel-Wallace test, which purports to determine whether or not a piece of media portrays women well. Before this, they were arguably best known for the comic Dykes to Watch Out For which I have yet to read. Needless to say, they are a very well-known voice in LGBT and feminist circles and evidently also an award winning memoirist. I really need to get out more.
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic is my first time reading Bechdel, and it will certainly not be the last. The book is a reckoning, a memoir and an attempted biography. It details her growing up in a small town in Philadelphia, and her attempts to understand her father's potential suicide through the lens of his life and all she learned of it. This is a book about dysfunctional family dynamics, and also the horrors of suppressed sexuality.
Alison Bechdel, through relating her father's life and her own, shines an interesting light on the attempts made to brace the spaces between people. How do you relate to someone if the only language they seem to speak is that of literature? How well do you understand someone if all you seem to have in common is books? What if that person, like you, is closeted? What if you come out - what would that mean for them? There are so many layers and so many questions raised throughout it all. This is a book that has stuck with me since I finished reading it, and likely will continue to do so.
The art, like the writing, is compelling. Simple, but layered in that simplicity. I found myself turning the book a bit to see the names of books on the shelves, to parse out the recreated handwriting from time to time. I really look forward to reading more Bechdel. Even if the books are difficult, they are well worth taking the time to read them....more
I picked this one up on a whim when I saw it at the library.
The book is essentially what it says on the tin - a homicide detective from the Midwest gI picked this one up on a whim when I saw it at the library.
The book is essentially what it says on the tin - a homicide detective from the Midwest going over a variety of cases and what it's like to hold such a job. It's not the easiest read by any means - there is an awful lot of tragedy. You see some good things happen, and a whole lot of bad. Burke writes with a starkness befitting his position, and pays respect where it is due.
It was an interesting look at a job that I myself wanted to pursue when I was younger, but never quite ended up doing so. I'd recommend it if anyone is curious at looking at the reality of what life is like as a homicide detective in a place where that would require working near constantly. ...more
Another Alison Bechdel and another vote for me to read everything that she's written. Much like Fun Home this is a memoir focused upon the relationsAnother Alison Bechdel and another vote for me to read everything that she's written. Much like Fun Home this is a memoir focused upon the relationship between parent and child. This one, however, focuses on Alison's relationship with her mother and how that changed after the publication of Fun Home. How, after all, might a person respond to their spouse being outed the way that Bechdel outed her father? How might she react to the public scrutiny?
This book viewed the relationship through the lens of Donald Winnicott's work, much the same way that the previous one viewed the relationship through literature. There are theories of attachment studied, some through Freud, but most through Winnicott. The book felt very... real, although it was a bit of a meta analysis of writing a book about the process of writing a book. How we look for guidance where we can, and how our relationship with our parents informs other relationships rather deeply.
It was a wonderful read, and one that I think would benefit from multiple read throughs. ...more
Murder Book. Definition: A book about murder, normally true crime.
This book is a love letter to all the Murderinos out there. It's a memoir about what got Campbell herself into True Crime, and why women are more likely to be fans of True Crime than men. Further - why are women more often fans of true crime but not often the ones writing it/hosting it? The book examines it all in a thoughtful way.
The book is quirky and irreverent. Campbell relates everything in an entertaining tone, which can be a little bit jarring given the topics that are at hand. She's treating everything lightly, while not diminishing the importance of the victim's voices being heard. It's easy to imagine the book as a conversation had over BBQ and lemonade (or white wine with ice) on a back porch in the summertime. It's all hushy and gossipy.
She understands what the appeal of the genre is, and delivers just that in spade. It's the hot gossip. The only difference is that this hot gossip is delivered hand in hand with a discussion of how race and sex determine what crimes are being broadcasted and how we talk about them. A bit heavier and hard hitting than perhaps just reporting what Ed Bundy did.
The discussion about Graysmith's Zodiac book and ALA as the suspect confused me a bit, given that Graysmith's book has been found to have inaccuracies over the years and is generally believed to be a poor source. I don't understand why Helter Skelter was acknowledged as being inaccurate while Graysmith's book wasn't? ...more
Richard Hell is a fascinating individual. He was punk before punk itself was a term that was used to define the genre. He was a poet before he learne Richard Hell is a fascinating individual. He was punk before punk itself was a term that was used to define the genre. He was a poet before he learned the tools of that trade, a rock star before he even set foot on the stage. He was masterful at crafting his own image, and even in the depths of depravity he managed to carry himself with a certain grace that was undeniably "cool." He's older now, but that "cool" still sticks to him, he just exudes it like a fragrance in the air.
I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp is a riveting read from start to finish. It feels in the gaps that exist in Please Kill Me and offers a deeper look at what produced one of the best known punks on the scene. While he isn't as well known as, say, Sid Vicious - he was the person Sid was ripping off. He was someone Patti Smith followed, and had his own pointed opinions about her and what she was doing. Like Patti, too, he left at the height of his fame to do something else.
When you say all you need to say in a certain way, what do you do? Apparently, you write - and you write well.
I can't believe it got released and then it took me so long to actually read it.
I read this book in aI can't believe this book actually got released.
I can't believe it got released and then it took me so long to actually read it.
I read this book in a single sitting, sitting in my old bed in my mom's house. It was a surreal experience, reading it in that way, but it was oddly fitting considering the subject matter of the book. Hyperbole and a Half was a blog that I loved and read regularly, and then a book that I read repeatedly and ended up owning some four copies of at one point in time. Those copies keep ending up being gifted to others, so it makes sense to continue buying them. I also liked the idea of Allie Brosh getting that money and being able to use it, wherever in the world she might be.
I care about Allie Brosh. I know it's foolish in some ways, but her words have meant a lot to me. Her writing got me through a tough part of my life, and her words then allowed others to see where I was coming from and understand me a bit better. Solutions and Other Problems, I feel certain, is going to do that for other people. Hell, it did it a bit for me even without having lived through some of the experiences that Brosh writes about in the book.
It's a funny book, laugh out loud funny at times, but it is also bleak as hell. It wasn't an easy book to read, nor should it have been an easy book to read considering the subject matter. It got darker than I've seen Jenny Lawson's books get, which is saying something considering she wrote an essay to her insurance company in one about how she thinks they want her dead because they're making it so she can't afford the medication she needs not to kill herself.
So yeah. Brace yourself before going in. It's a book mired in grief, dripping grief, but there is so much to be said about being honest about the experience of losing someone you love for reasons you don't understand. About living with that absence. As someone who lost people over my life and during this pandemic... yeah. It's like that. It's not pretty, but it's like that, and it needs to be heard and said.
Still, Allie Brosh, the world is a better place with you in it....more
I wasn't overly familiar with the case that the author is discussing in this book, so the outcomes of everThis was an interesting, if difficult, read.
I wasn't overly familiar with the case that the author is discussing in this book, so the outcomes of everything weren't spoiled in advance for me as I read. By the end of the book I thoroughly understood why she changed names and details across the book to protect the people involved from further harassment. It seems others took issue with this, but it seemed a natural course of action to me especially considering how things went with Daisy towards the end of the book.
The private investigation portions of this book were interesting to me. Krouse revealed how easily it was to fall into the addictive trap of looking for more information, to keep taking information in and seeking out more. The techniques that she revealed, and the obsession that consumed her was riveting.
The memoir aspects of it were also interesting to me, albeit it took me a while to understand why she was relating the information about her familial relations. I felt for her - but it clashed slightly with some of what was shared. Then.... it all fit together in a sad, sad way.
Big trigger warnings for anyone reading - this is definitely a book about sexual assault and it is a difficult read, but an interesting one that might help people better understand where people who survived such things are coming from....more
I heard about this book through Leigh Cowart's interview regarding it on NPR. While many have referred to this as simply "that sadomasochism book" thI heard about this book through Leigh Cowart's interview regarding it on NPR. While many have referred to this as simply "that sadomasochism book" that is ignoring many of the deeper things happening within it. This is a study of masochism, yes, and sexual behavior does come into play. But... why do people enjoy pain on purpose? And what of the far more prevalent non-sexual pain?
Cowart studiously digs into just how the brain processes pain, and what pain it is that we engage in often without thinking about it. Why is it that we are drawn to rub our sore muscles, or exercise to the point of exhaustion? Why is it that we eat food so spicy it makes our eyes water, or pursue hobbies like kickboxing and ballet? What of people who run ultramarathons or participate in polar plunges? What about hot saunas? All of these are uncomfortable, often to the point of pain, but still we do them and we love them - why?
In search of an answer to these questions Cowart either participates in or witnesses these events herself. She attends an ultramarathon as an observer - a last man standing race with no actual finish line and jeerleaders. She participates in an NYE polar plunge, eats the spiciest pepper in the world, and watches people get suspended through piercings in their spine. She delves into her own experiences with masochism, and how the word came to be used. How long as has this been going on? Why?
At the end of the book there are inklings of answers - at the very least to the why of it. She interviews top scientists looking at pain research, and professional dommes. It's a fascinating read, and look at just what our bodies go through. Nature or nurture? Both likely draw those who participate in high-sensation seeking behaviors to do what they do. There are benefits from it, when engaged in properly, and Cowart is exceptionally careful to designate between masochism and self-harm.
What do you do when you lose your sight when you're just barely in high school? Not through an accident, and not completely. Just enough that you can What do you do when you lose your sight when you're just barely in high school? Not through an accident, and not completely. Just enough that you can no longer drive the car you've been wanting to for ages. Just enough that crossing the street puts your life in danger and reading the blackboard is impossible. What if you have the opportunity to go to college, where nobody knows you're blind?
In the case of James Tate Hill you pretend to still be fully sighted and pull it off well until it finally puts your marriage in danger.
Hill's memoir is a fascinating exploration of how to contend with disability in a world that isn't really prepared for it. How to navigate situations, and eventually how to come to terms with the situation. It isn't easy. It's never easy. This isn't the feel good memoir of how losing something made a person stronger, either, but rather a very realistic look at the struggles that faced Hill throughout his life.
Some of them are funny. Some of them are heartbreaking. All of them are liable to make you think, and reconsider your own relationship with the world around you....more
This book is part memoir, part examination of Scandinavian parenting vs. American parenting, and part treatise on how to change American parenting tecThis book is part memoir, part examination of Scandinavian parenting vs. American parenting, and part treatise on how to change American parenting techniques for the better. Like Richard Louv's books, this one primarily explores the way that children benefit from being exposed to nature. There is a lot to take away from this book in terms to how school systems could benefit from more nature focused learning, and how parents could both get a break from intensely monitoring their children's play and also raise more confident kids by taking a step back and allowing them more responsibility.
While other reviewers have complained that his book failed to offer enough parenting tips, I think this book actually did a fairly good job of highlighting what different things could be done in day to day life to help benefit their children's growth. Tips such as buying more weather resistant clothing, building natural play areas, and becoming involved in the change to more forest schools, etc. are all bits of practical advice if a bit more future focused in some cases than cause for immediate action. There are plenty of opportunities for further reading as well, which is much appreciated.
All in all, this book is nice in how it gives the reader a lot more to think about and consider. What are screens doing for you? Have you gotten outside today? Are there better ways to use technology than the way we're using it now? I appreciated how this book focused upon better ways to learn and grow rather than just denouncing X as evil, as some are want to do....more
In this book, Sarah Edmondson recounts what drew her to joining NXIVM and how she climbed the ranks within what she believed to bNXIVM. What a story.
In this book, Sarah Edmondson recounts what drew her to joining NXIVM and how she climbed the ranks within what she believed to be a slightly eccentric self-help group. She writes about how she discovered it was a cult, and what it was like to be branded. How it all came tumbling down. Now we know that Keith Raniere was sentenced to an astonishing 125 years behind bars, and Alison Mack only got 3. Somehow. When will the rest of it all come down?
This book was not a particularly easy read, in a large part for me due to how it was written. I found the CBC investigative journal program Uncover: Exposing NXIVM to be a much more entertaining dig into Sarah Edmondson's experience and easier to digest. I have yet to read Oxenberg's book on it all, but I am looking forward to eventually doing so.
The writing was stilted and at times went off in a more self-congratulatory direction than I wanted it to. There were some things that weren't really dug into at all (The Rainbow Child Galen in particular I would have enjoyed reading more about, some of NXIVM's actual belief systems, etc.) I think a third-party writer might be the best way to really uncover it all, hence enjoying the podcast that I did.
All in all, I'm glad I read it, but it isn't really something I would recommend much to others. I still have a lot of questions about it all, and I'm uncertain whether or not they will ever be answered. ...more
Jim Kristofic, although not of Native American descent, grew up on the Navajo Nation reservation. Over the course of the book he writes about his exp Jim Kristofic, although not of Native American descent, grew up on the Navajo Nation reservation. Over the course of the book he writes about his experiences there - how he viewed the Navajos, and how they viewed him. How he fit in, and how he didn't. How he now views his place in the world, and what the experiences meant to him and molded him into being. It's a fascinating story, and a compelling explanation of what it's like to walk in two different worlds.
Kristofic doesn't shy away from elaborating on both the beauty and the violence of his upbringing, and of the problems that plague Indian Country then and even today. He offers the history that confined the people to a Reservation, and how Navajo rights continue to be infringed upon. He also talks about how the racism that many experience go both ways - and how that experience stretches into border towns, into more complex disputes.
Kristofic is a compelling storyteller. His stories follow a beautiful rhythm that I've come to expect from Native American writing. He weaves in and out of experiences, paints full pictures that challenge some of the more beautiful nature writing I've read over the years. This is a person who has walked the walk more than talking the talk, so to speak. He's a compelling writer, and his life is more interesting than the stereotypes people hold towards Rez living might suppose.
So? A good read. I'd definitely be happy to read more of his writing.
Also, a beautiful integration of Navajo language into the story, and a great respect towards the taboos of the people. ...more
Jenny Lawson is a writer that never ceases to really fascinate me. Her writing can go from laugh out loud funny to tear-inducing in the course of a s Jenny Lawson is a writer that never ceases to really fascinate me. Her writing can go from laugh out loud funny to tear-inducing in the course of a single essay. One moment she has you wondering how dogs know that they have penises (which they have to know in order to lift their legs to pee, after all) and the next she has you contemplating whether or not memories are indeed what makes you a person.
Broken (in the best possible way) is the latest, and arguably the best of Lawson's books. While it isn't as much a memoir as her first book was, it still contains the stories about her family that made her book so memorable. This book, though, is much more a meditation on just what it means to live with neurodivergence and other chronic health issues. She pulls no punches, nor should she. She stands proud in who she is, and in doing so gives hope to the rest of us.
Her letter to her insurance carrier and the diary she kept while getting TMS treatment both stand out in my mind. Both reflect the difficulty of assessing just what a baseline in, how quickly things can change when actual treatment is available and how difficult it is to truly get effective treatment. It reminded me of Brandy Schillache's essay on why she runs - just the truth of living with these conditions in the day to day and how foreign it is to so many people.
Even if you don't live with these conditions, please try reading this book. It will help you understand those who do live with them so much better....more
This book is touted as a collection of essays, but that isn't entirely right. It's classified as a humorous memoir about weight-loss and body positiviThis book is touted as a collection of essays, but that isn't entirely right. It's classified as a humorous memoir about weight-loss and body positivity, but that also isn't entirely right. This book is all of those things, don't get me wrong, but it is also a history and examination of why Americans are fat and how to change it. It's a look at things we can do in our own lives to improve our health, and how to do so without doing more harm than good.
Seriously.
What a book.
I had no idea what I was really getting into when I grabbed this book from the library, but I'm so happy I did. I ended up devouring this book, laughing out loud, and learning all the while. Chloe Hilliard writes in an easily digestible way that kept catching me off guard with her clever observations. She touched me at times, her insights things that I've dealt with myself as a fat girl trying to fit in. I felt she knew me, though that's certainly not the case. I wasn't a black girl growing up in Brooklyn after all. But hey, some of those fat girl experiences are universal anyway.
I loved this book, and I feel like it would be a great read for anyone. Fellow fat girls or fat boys would likely relate to a lot of what Hilliard went through. People who never struggled with weight? This would be a great look into the ways weight affects more than just your health. It affects your feelings of self-worth, of fitting into the world. It affects the way that others think of you. Weight is a huge thing in more ways than just pounds. Hell, I'm only figuring that out now, really.
This book is eye-opening, man, and funny to boot. Get it. Read it. Give your fat friends a hug when it's safe to do so....more
Hilary "Fox"
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