This was a solid, thought provoking read. It's hard to summarise, so I won't, other to say it revolved around the idea of what people think, and then This was a solid, thought provoking read. It's hard to summarise, so I won't, other to say it revolved around the idea of what people think, and then a lot of well researched discussion about what we mean by 'our minds' and what is known and not known. I am doing no justice to the book in explaining this now, so all I can say is if you are interested in a wide ranging discussion on this topic, please borrow (but be prepared to set aside a lot of time, and potentially be confused in the process!)
I could have picked many different ideas, but two have stuck with me.
1. One was the idea that doubt has value - it can be 'fertile' because it requires us to examine what we believe, and can be the instigator of new ideas and discoveries. Doubt is not always bad!
2. Another was a discourse around the importance of words - 'The language of our ideas are contagious. Words move from one person to another, and we are all vulnerable to coming down with a case of ideas, an infection that may last a lifetime … Different times embrace different ideas, but some last longer than others and there are ideas that become so entrenched that we are not even aware of them any longer. They lie between the controversies about what and who human beings are and remain unarticulated. They hide in metaphors and in phrases, in biases of one kind or another that we may fail to recogonize and therefore rarely examine.'...more
There was so much I loved while reading this book, and I've taken away so many things to think about, and to apply. The way Junger writes is really enThere was so much I loved while reading this book, and I've taken away so many things to think about, and to apply. The way Junger writes is really engaging, it brings home a lot of the realities and impacts from war (either as a professional, or someone stuck within it), returning home, and reflections on the changes in lifestyle that we lead in the 'developed world' - questioning whether, in many ways, it is 'developed' as much as it could be. The only slight niggle I had was whether some of the conclusions were reached and the stories selected to fit the conclusions. I just felt as though the whole picture wasn't shown, although it purports to be an exploration of modern living. But - as long as you read it as one explanation for some people, rather than an explanation for all problems in terms of isolation and disconnection, it is really a fascinating read.
There are so many quotes I wanted to retain:
'First agriculture, and then industry, changed two fundamental things about the human experience (compared with the hunter gatherer society). The accumulation of personal property allowed people to make more and more individualistic choices about their lives and those choices unavoidably diminished group efforts toward a common good. And as society modernized, people found themselves able to live independently from any communal group. A person living in a modern city or a suburb can, for the first time in history, go through an entire day - or an entire life - mostly encountering complete strangers. They can be surrounded by others and yet feel deeply, dangerously along ... As affluence and urbanization rise in a society, rates of depression and suicide tend to go up rather than down. Rather than buffering people from clinical depression, increased wealth in a society seems to foster it.'
'The psychological effect of placing such importance on affluence can be seen in microcosm in the legal profession (and then goes into some detail on the findings). The findings are in keeping with something called self-determination theory, which holds that human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others. These values are considered 'intrinsic' to human happiness and far outweigh 'extrinsic' values such as beauty, money and status ... Bluntly put, modern society seems to emphasize extrinsic value over intrinsic ones, as as a result, mental health issues refuse to decline with growing wealth.'
'The beauty and the tragedy of the modern world is that it eliminates many situations that require people to demonstrate a commitment to the collective good. Protected by police and fire departments and relieved of most of the challenges of survival, an urban man might go through his entire life without having to go to the aid of someone in danger - or even give up his dinner. Likewise, a woman in a society that has codified its moral behaviour into a set of laws and penalties might never have to make a choice that puts her very life at risk. What would you risk dying for - and for whom - is perhaps the most profound question a person can ask themselves. The vast majority of people in modern society are able to pass their whole lives without ever having to answer that question, which is both an enormous blessing and a significant loss.'
'"You'll have to be prepared to say that we are not a good society - that we are an antihuman society," (an) anthopologist warned ... "We are not good to each other. Our tribalism is to an extremely narrow group of people: our children, our spouse, maybe our parents. Our society is alienating, technical, cold, and mystifying. Our fundamental desire, as human beings, is to be close to others, and our society does not allow for that."
'It's revealing to look at modern society through the prism of more than a million years of human cooperation and resource sharing. Subsistence-level hunters aren't necessarily more moral than other people; they just can't get away with selfish behaviour because they live in small groups where almost everything is open to scrutiny. Modern society, on the other hand, is a sprawling and anonymous mess where people can get away with incredible levels of dishonesty without getting caught. What tribal people would consider a profound betrayal of the group, modern society simply dismisses as fraud. ... Westerners live in a complex society, and opportunities for scamming relatively small amounts of money off the bottom are almost endless - and very hard to catch. But scamming large amounts of money off the top seems even harder to catch.'
'Jobs that are directly observable to the public, like construction, tend to be less respected and less well paid that jobs that happen behind closed doors, like real estate or finance. And yet it is exactly these jobs that provide society's immediate physical needs'.
'There's no use arguing that modern society isn't a kind of paradise... And yet. There are many costs to modern society, starting with its toll on the global ecosystem and working one's way down to its toll on the human psyche, but the most dangerous loss may be to community. If the human race is under threat in some way that we don't yet understand, it will probably be at a community level that we either solve the problem or fail to. If the future of the planet depends on, say, rationing water, communities of neighbours will be able to enforce new rules far more effectively than even local government. It's how we evolved to exist, and it obviously works.' Two of the behaviours that set early humans apart were the systematic sharing of food and altruistic group defence ... The earliest and most basic definition of community - of tribe - would be the group of people that you would both help feed and help defend. A society that doesn't offer its members the chance to act selflessly in these ways isn't a society in any tribal sense of the word ...'
I saw this in the library and, having seen David Mitchell on TV (The Peep Show and QI) I thought it would be quite entertaining. A collection of his cI saw this in the library and, having seen David Mitchell on TV (The Peep Show and QI) I thought it would be quite entertaining. A collection of his columns for the Observer would cover a diverse range of issues, surely. It sort of does. However, I found the tone, the negative angle in most columns got to me quite quickly, and I was picking and choosing what to read. It's not a book you can read from start to finish, and, actually, I imagine it does work better as a weekly column. Not a book.
It is probably enough to read the contents page, really - you get a feel for it, without getting too sucked in. So, for my own memory, here is the contents page:
1. Taking offence, demanding apologies, making people do things and stopping people doing things - a guide to modern hobbies (with less money around, people have to make their own entertainment these days, which has been a boon for those who enjoy the sensation of righteous anger). 2. Just turn on your Television Set and Stay In and Do something more boring instead(enjoy it while it lasts! After all, websites are only entertaining when you're supposed to be working ...) 3. Don't expect too much of robots (To my mind, corporations are like giant robots which have been programmed to make money at all costs. So they are quite dangerous to live around but at the same time there is no more point getting cross with them than there is in blaming a satnav for never changing the oil.) 4. Saying you want to make a difference makes no difference (Politicians will go to unreasonable lengths in order to seem reasonable. It's almost enough to make you thirst for a refreshing tyrant.) 5. It's not just poets that need abstract nouns (Rates of religious observance may be falling, but that doesn't mean that our society is any less reliant on strange and intangible concepts than the most obsessive ghost, chicken entrail or tree spirit worshiping tribe. What do raising capital and raising awareness have in comment? You don't need a forklift truck to do either, 6. What you don't know Can't Hurt You (In depressed moments, I often have to console myself with the thought that I will never have to go back to school. I wonder what thoughts teachers turn to for comfort in such moments? This section discusses many of the crazy educational theories that the majority of us who delight in never having to set foot in a classroom again are free to enjoy)...more
It's Elizabeth Gilbert. There is a lot of great insight, mixed in with some esoteric, and kind of fanciful, beliefs, but somehow it comes together intIt's Elizabeth Gilbert. There is a lot of great insight, mixed in with some esoteric, and kind of fanciful, beliefs, but somehow it comes together into her experiences and opinions about how we might live and create and be fulfilled, without ignoring our fears and worries, but not being dragged down with them. It's not really advice (although I've classified it that way - more opinion and experience, which you can take or leave). I found a lot of it really helpful, and put to one side the more waffly parts. So, a recommended read....more
I have been intrigued by Ayelet Waldman ever since I heard of her essay where she states that she loves her husband more than her children, and the baI have been intrigued by Ayelet Waldman ever since I heard of her essay where she states that she loves her husband more than her children, and the back and forth arguing this created within those who like to judge these comments. And that essay was mentioned again recently - and this time, I thought I should read what some more of her writing (as I've never read anything Ayelet or her husband).
I guess some of the topics she write about were not written as frequently when that article came out 6 years ago (or maybe the influx of articles via the internet, plus becoming a parent, has made me more aware of them), but many of the essays covered some ground I've read before. However, they were entertainingly written, interesting and sometimes enlightening. Some of the points she made which made me think included:
A discussion about division of labour in a marriage, and why many of us, even though we are competent, defer to a traditional division, at least in some areas. (I know I have a husband who is very much the repairer / builder of the household, and now I no longer even change a light bulb. But I manage the finances - which he never goes near. So this resonated). What is this teaching our kids? Does it matter? (ie. we share the housework, and cooking - so is that ok?) And what happens when one partner leaves (either by choice, or because, well, eventually one of us will die first) - does that mean we are leaving ourselves unskilled? (This I'm less concerned about - I'll work it out - but the competence, being role models, self esteem with my own abilities did hit home).
How sometimes we don't realise what the real implications of inventions or new systems can be ... and I love the way she crafts these two points together (I think that is what I like most about her writing):
'Periodically over the course of human history we come upon an intersection of technology and some long dormant trait of human or animal behaviour, some characteristic we would have never suspected without the arrival of of an invention that unexpectedly reveals it'. Dogs, for instance (we domesticated them for 15000 years without realising, until the invention of the car, that they were perfectly designed for loving the feeling of rushing wind on their faces. Although, as she doesn't say, it's not good for them, and can affect their eyesight - so I only let my dog do so occasionally. Such a middle class stickler that I am). Anyway - this is juxtaposed with the fact that the Department of Defence's war communication invention that led to the internet turned out to be 'the most critical piece of the mommy war puzzle. There have always been plenty of forums in which to make mothers feel insecure, but we have, with the creation of the Web and the proliferation of motherhood-related Web sites, reached some kind of nexus, a conjunction of maternal anxiety, misogyny, guilt, leisure, and technology that has been, on balance, a big bummer for contemporary mothers'.
In the context of becoming aware that, although her children often seem to be absorbed in their own playing or activities, that they are aware and listening when she and her husband are fighting, sharing anything about conflict or distress with friends (ie. illness of divorce), or 'when you're doing mmm-mmm-mmm' (said in a lascivious tone):
'None of us have any choice but to live with the way in which our children are making sense of the adult world, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us. What goes around, after all, always ends up coming around. Karma. baby. It surely would have made my parents uncomfortable had they known about my childhood snooping through their drawers and closets, my listening in. But back in those days we didn't talk about such things. I kept my own counsel, drew my own conclusions. I never would have dared to cheerfully confess my eavesdropping over fried chicken and biscuit. Perhaps that is something to be grateful for. Because my own children feel no self-consciousness about their nosiness, at least I am warned.' 'My children have out me on notice. They have advised me of their intention, like mine before them, like that of all children, to latch onto tales and examples of conflict, despair, misery, and sadness in order to learn what it is like to be a grown-up. This is what it has always meant to be a child'.
An interesting perspective, I think - and an indication the book is well worth a read (and it is a very quick one, too, which is sometimes nice!)...more
Entertaining, some sections laugh out loud funny, but some were too long and dragged. But a nice reminder that - although there are some really wacky Entertaining, some sections laugh out loud funny, but some were too long and dragged. But a nice reminder that - although there are some really wacky people out there, if we look at ourselves (or at least, the people that Jon comes into contact with, including his own family, and in fact, himself), we might find we too are fairly odd, with peculiarities and irrationality too....more
A nice easy read - in the style of many of Roald Dahl's books - with the characters of his childhood providing a lot of colour and explanation for hisA nice easy read - in the style of many of Roald Dahl's books - with the characters of his childhood providing a lot of colour and explanation for his story telling later. The cruelness of some of the teachers or shop keepers, the naughtiness of some children (including Master Dahl), the British school system, the no nonsense loving presence of his mother, plus the impact of different lollies, imagination, and friendships - you can see the basis for all in his retelling of aspects of his childhood. Enjoyable....more
Loved it! A series of articles, in the main, which have been previously published and brought together into one book, along with a handful that were wLoved it! A series of articles, in the main, which have been previously published and brought together into one book, along with a handful that were written specifically. Some chapters stronger than others, but lots of insight, written in a very digestible way. Lots to ponder. ...more
This book has so many wonderful insights and reflections, based on personal experience, research and observation. As it says in the blurb, while the tThis book has so many wonderful insights and reflections, based on personal experience, research and observation. As it says in the blurb, while the topics range, the same questions recur - how do we see, remember and feel? How do we interact with others, what is 'the self'?
Its not a light read - and I attempted to read it cover to cover, whereas it is probably a book better treated as an essay or two at a time, with time then to ponder. As such, I feel overloaded with new thoughts and perspectives and haven't quite managed to finish it. However, I've gained so many ways of thinking and expressing different experiences, and as in many of my reviews, I need to quote to remember them - so:
On motherhood - 'In a country where human relationships are seen as entities to be 'worked on', as if they were a thousand-piece puzzles that only take time to complete, the pleasure to be found in ones children, the desire we have for them falls outside the discussion.' - Parenthood can be grueling, boring, and painful, but most people want their children and love them, As parents, they are ...'good enough'. This 'good enough' is not perfection but a form of dialogue, a receptiveness that doesn't impose on the child the monologic desires of the parents, but recognises his autonomy, his real separateness'. (p12)
On novels, sleeping and transitions - "A transitional object" - D.W. coined this term for the thngs children cling to - bits of blanket or stuffed animals or their own fingers or thumb - that occupy a space between the subjective inner world and the outside world. These objectives are especially necessary at bedtime when, as Winnicott writes, "from waking to sleeping, the child jumps from a perceived world to a self created world. In between there is a need for all kinds of transitional phenomena - neutral territory" (p50)
On fathers - 'It is ordinary for children to idealize their fathers. It is also ordinary for children to grow up and recognise thay some father's humanity and blind spots.'''It is good for children to have the experience of being let down gently by a real father. The transition from ideal to real isn't always so easy, however, not for the children or for the father.....Identities, identification and desires cannot be untangled from one another. We become ourselves through others, and the self is a porous thing, not a sealed container... We do not author ourselves, which is not to say we have no agency or responsibility, but rather that becoming doesn't escape relation.' (p70)
On mothers - 'Mother love is everyone's beginning, and its potency is overwhelming... For both boys and girls, the mother begins as a towering figure, source of life, food and feeling. The sentimentality that has lain thick over motherhood in western culture, at least since the nineteenth century, strikes me as a way to tame a two way passion that has a threatening quality, if only by dint of its strength, Children must escape their mothers, and mothers must let them go, and separation can be a long tug-of-war' (p72)
On 'the real story' - 'Writing fiction takes place in a mental zone of free invention that memoir does not (or should not), for the simple reason that (the reader) expects the writer of the volume has told the truth...(However) the explicit, conscious memories we retain are only a fraction of what we remember implicitly ... memories are revised over time, their meanings change as we age ... What we recall is the last version of a given memory'(p94) -Fraudulent or otherwise, many memoir narratives partake of the broader culture's need for crude reductions of comp[lex human realities into a salable package of victimology' (p98) -'The art of autobiography, as much as the art of fiction, calls on the writer to shape himself as a character in a story, and that shaping requires a form mediated by language. What scientists call episodic or autobiographical memory is essential for creating a coherent narrative sense of a self over time' Memory is flux' (p103-4) - When I'm writing a novel, it is very much like dredging up a memory, trying hard to find the 'real' story that is buried somewhere in my being, and when I find it, it feels true. But I have also written passages that are wrong, that feel like lies, and then I must get rid of them and start again. I am measuring the truth of my fictional story against some emotional reality connected to my memories' (p105) - ''..robbing one's own memory for fiction can have a peculiar effect on the recollection itself. In his memoir, Speak Memory, Vladimir Nabokov addresses this change. 'I have often noticed that after I bestowed on the characters of my novels some treasured item of my past, it would pine away in the artificial world where I had so abruptly placed it. Although it lingered on in my mind, its personal warmth, its retrospective appeal had gone, and presently, it became more closely identified with my novel than my former self, where it had seemed to be so safe from the artist' (p113).
On the ever narrowing fields of 'expertise' - We live in a world of hyperfocus and expertise. 'Experts' on this or that particular subject are continually consulted ... and each field carved out a domain and pursues it relentlessly, accumulating vast amounts of highly specific knowledge ,,, these people inhabit disciplinary islands of the like-educated and the like-minded'...I've been saddened by the lack of shared knowledge. It can be very hard to talk to people, have them understand you and for you to understand them, Dialogue itself is often at risk'.(p118) The truth is that being an expert in any field,,, takes up most of your time, and even with heroic efforts, it's impossible to read everything on a given topic'
On perception 'In 1960, Giorgio Morandi said 'I believe that nothing is more abstract, more unreal than what we actually see. We know all we can see of the objectvie world, as human beings, never really exists as we see and understand it. Matter exists, of course, but has not intrinsic mean of its own, such as the meanings that we attach to it. Only we know that a cup is a cup, that a tree is a tree'. The question is: what did Morandi mean? ... that what we see is 'filtered' through us. Subject and object are not so easily separated...looking at art can't be separated from our lived experience of the world and the image exists in my perception of it' (p232, 242, p234)...more
I don't know why this took me so long to read - lots of insights and different perspectives on the question 'why I write' from a range of women writerI don't know why this took me so long to read - lots of insights and different perspectives on the question 'why I write' from a range of women writers. I particularly enjoyed Margaret Atwood's take (9 different perspectives, depending how the question is understood, Anne Tyler's practical approach of managing to write while focusing on home and child rearing (taking the time available and also how that approach enriches her writing), Josn Didion's reflections (and why I should really look up her work, which I've never read), Margaret Walker, Alice Walker (actually, they all have great things to say). Give it a go! ...more
Insightful thoughts and lots of parts I bookmarked on a range of topics.
As a planner I made note of a couple in particular - reflections about the imInsightful thoughts and lots of parts I bookmarked on a range of topics.
As a planner I made note of a couple in particular - reflections about the importance of the landscape / natural world from our memories, childhoods, and what this might mean for today's kids, who are so locked into an electronic, busily scheduled world; and the heart-lifting loveliness of great architecture such as MONA in Hobart, 'Melbourne's witty domestic architecture' (which I will have to find more of - working in a fairly bland domestic area), and the importance of architecture as 'art, connection - does it electrify, lift - brim the heart, instil wonder'? I'd have to say, as well, that while these are very important, I believe they are the icing on the cake - before 'the most important thing being astonishment', there is also a need to make sure it works properly. Form should follow function more than it often does (and then add the wonder), but small point.
The author touches on a range of topics, from family, living overseas, ageing, politics, society, which are all very interesting. Reading essentially 3-4 page opinion pieces in one go, however, is not really the way they are intended to be read, and it can be monotonous after a while (better to dip in and out). And the writing style! Challenging, fragments of thoughts. Lost the pace. Moments to reorient. Then the sentences recommence, sometimes slowly, sometimes filled with delight and vigour, expressing thoughts through quotes such as 'Civilisation is the process of setting man free from man' (thanks, Ayn Rand) - so best digested in small doses. ...more