Jeremy's Reviews > On the Meaning of Sex

Fascinating interview here. Chapter 1 appeared in a different form here. See ch. 2 here and part of ch. 3 here.

Related essay here; I heard Boersma present this lecture at Baylor in 2018.

Ch. 1: Does Sex Have to Mean Something?
If human nature connects the procreative act with actual procreation (if sex is connected to children), can the human will override human nature? In other words, if human nature says that sex has meaning, can the human will decide otherwise? [Since the sexual act literally involves the planting of a seed, you have to work hard to argue that sex doesn't mean anything. Seeds mean.] JBud outlines three problems with saying that sex doesn't have to mean anything: 1) meaning isn't arbitrary; 2) human nature is what we are, not something that we can discard; and 3) the human will is part of human nature. Freedom and happiness lie in recognizing the structures of reality and working to unfold the meanings and purposes that lie there.

Ch. 2: The Meaning of the Sexual Powers
There are clear signs that the sexual revolution has brought severe consequences, both physically and relationally. Besides the proliferation of STDs, we also have testimony that hookup culture is not ultimately satisfying. "Some ways of living comport with our design. Others don't." JBud addresses three objections to talking about meaning and purpose: 1) meanings/purposes of sexual powers are subjective (but we don't say that about other powers, such as respiratory powers); 2) is doesn't imply ought (but we can tell if something such as an eye is functioning well or not, and therefore it's good to pursue the best function of that thing, given its apparent design); 3) "natural function" is a better label than "natural purpose" since objects don't have minds (but things can have purposes, which are signified by their functions). JBud sees two meanings or purposes of the sexual powers: 1) procreation, and 2) union. He says that pleasure is not a purpose, although it is a motive. [What about WSC 1: Man's primary purpose is to . . . enjoy God forever.] Our rebellion against design is apparent when we try to separate procreation from union. In terms of corners of a quadrant, some people pursue only the pleasure (A), some mistake the physical action for the union (B), some pursue union without procreation (C), and some use technology to pursue procreation without union (D). JBud summarizes the natural laws of sex: design points to purpose, and the purposes of the sexual powers are procreation and union. In a nutshell, ch. 2 is about the meaning of the activity of sex (what it's for). Ch. 3 will be about the differences between the two human sexes: male and female.

Ch. 3: The Meaning of Sexual Differences
Many folks claim that men and women aren't different—arguing that apparent differences are due only to upbringing (which raises a serious question of why basically all cultures for thousands of years have persisted in raising children this way). They may concede that men and women are different biologically, but they want to insist that their brains are the same. JBud takes some time to enumerate many of the documented differences between male and female brains. JBud mentions "four large truths" that, when missed, contribute to difficulties in thinking about the differences between the sexes: 1) the duality of nature (different facets, but equally valuable); 2) duality of path (developmental trajectories); 3) body and soul unity; and 4) polaric complementarity. We shouldn't reduce humanity to exclusive body (materialists) or exclusive mind (angelists). Psychological tests don't always explain results well; for example, Myers-Briggs says that men prefer thinking, and women prefer feeling—but we are all thinking and feeling all the time. Sexual differences are not culturally conditioned; rather, those differences are more pronounced in poor countries and less pronounced in wealthy countries. JBud lists results of survey scores, showing specific differences between men and women (e.g., re: agreeableness or assertiveness, or the fact that women tend to care more about a partner's ambition or socioeconomic status [which Aaron Renn points to here]); but these differences explain surface details and not the fundamental differences. The danger of reducing sexual difference to individual qualities is that we risk being unable to make distinctions between other categories, such as human and nonhuman. JBud defines "woman" as "a human being of that sex whose members are potentially mothers." Potentiality is not just physical possibility, but rather refers to something like an inbuilt meaning or purpose (56). Alice von Hildebrand: Every woman is called to be a biological, psychological, or spiritual mother. Men tend to specialize on single tasks and be prone to abstraction and outward-directedness, while women tend to generalize, multitask, and be prone to the concrete and inward-directedness. Men desire to fight and conquer—these impulses are not wrong but need to be directed in appropriate ways. We need to recover a delight in differences.

Ch. 4: The Meaning of Sexual Love
JBud distinguished between different kinds of love (see diagram on p. 75). Charity is an act of the will and encompasses erotic charity (sexual love) and romantic love. None of this is enchantment, or infatuation. JBud points out eight "moments" of romantic love: four Dantean (from La Vita Nuova) and four Shulammitic (from the Song of Solomon).

Ch. 5: The Meaning of Sexual Beauty
JBud distinguishes sexual beauty from "sexiness" (96). When it comes to sexual beauty, JBud is referring to femininity or womanliness, which entails the potentiality of motherhood (meaning things like "warmth, tendermindedness, and sensitivity to the emotions of others"). When it comes to "sexiness," JBud distinguishes dehumanized sexiness from humanized sexiness. "[H]umanized sexiness is the outward sign of the underlying reality that I have called sexual beauty" (99). It is possible to appreciate sexual beauty without believing that it's all about sex—it's possible not to be a greedy person "who cannot admire anything without wanting to have it as [his] own" (99). JBud spends a little time discussing types of signs, including natural, adventitious, and communicative. [He seems to say that sexual beauty necessarily leads to sexiness, but I'm not convinced that Mother Theresa was sexy, even in the fully humanized sense.]

Ch. 6: The Meaning of Sexual Purity
Purity applies to both married and unmarried folks, and it's not inherently negative but rather a pursuit of beauty and integrity. Avoiding marriage because one doesn't feel ready for it does not mean that the same person is ready for living a pure single life. Purity is best understood from the inside—one needs to experience it to understand and appreciate its benefits. JBud paints two pictures of a pure soul: 1) as a garden in a castle (more closely aligned with female intuition of guarding), and 2) as a rider, horse, and lion (more closely aligned with male sense of mastering). (JBud connects the rider/horse/lion to the Platonic divisions of the soul, which have bodily connections: head/stomach/heart.) Purity comprises many virtues, but JBud focuses on decorum (fitting conduct), modesty (respect for how easily appetites can be provoked), and temperance (balance). JBud discusses the "sweet disciplines" of single life, then gets into the unique struggles of men and women in a fallen world.

Ch. 7: Transcendence
After summarizing the first six chapters, JBud discusses perfect or unknown happiness before stating explicitly what he has been only hinting at throughout the book: nature points beyond itself. More specifically, human sexual love (even or perhaps especially in its imperfection and insufficiency) points to divine love.