Hannah B.'s Reviews > Cream and Punishment

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This book was an ice cream sandwich, with Tanner and Lucy being two sweet cookies unrelentingly duty bound to their families, and stuffed with just horrible family situations that will have you SCREAMING bloody sprinkle for them to get the hot fudge out of this town. They rarely popsicle stick up for themselves and when they do it’s two scoops too late. Tanner did it first and has my respect, but Lucy really melts my custard. She refused to do anything for herself and expects me to feel bad for her? I’m sorry but I’m a frozen asshole apparently but all she did was piss me off. No cone-test.

Most of the characters were unlikeable for one reason or another. Mainly they were all just wishy washy. I will simply never like the “overwhelming sense of familial duty” theme when the families in question are legitimate dumpster fires and unworthy of our main characters dying on the blades of self sacrifice.

We literally start the book out with Tanner dressed in an ice cream cone mascot costume as punishment from his father. He was like I should quit but I want his money and I’m too scared to leave the sweet embrace of workplace nepotism. The book tries to make him self-aware of his special treatment but I still don’t like how Lucy couldn’t get her promotion (even if he had quit). Would it have been unfair? Sure but his salary would have been gone (with that money going to her promotion raise) and there were a lot of unfair things about the creamery. His father doing a cone-plete 180° at the end was unbe-sprinkable. I don’t buy it one bit it felt waaaay too easy.

Lucy’s brother can literally go choke on a popsicle and her mother deserves to be dipped in a vat of melted chocolate a la Scooby Doo monster mode. She deserves to be forced to truly think about all that she did, ON the page. I never got a true sense of justice for that waffle cone wench.

Tanner gets brownie points for leaving the company when he did although it should have been as soon as he was told to put on an ice cream cone cop mascot costume. He says he doesn’t deserve all the jobs and chances but he never refuses them and I don’t like that one brownie bits. Lucy took too long and her “cone” to Jesus moment wasn’t remarkable. It was the same situation that happened the entire time throughout the book, but THIS time she decided to take umbrage (it’s my word of the day).

She finally realized her mother was a selfish sundae and was like “omg who knew this entire time she was playing me like a fiddle.” Meanwhile we’re all like WE KNEW BITCH SHE WAS PLAYING TCHAIKOVSKY. WITH CANNONS. Her brother was just as clueless and selfish as his mother. He gaslit her into thinking she was in the WRONG for “not asking for help more obviously.” She should not have to have a mental breakdown for him to finally be like “oh I see you don’t like being Cinderella.”

Of course she could have been more blunt but she was pretty fuckin crystal. He’s fucking selfish for needing to “tune out” the mother while Lucy is just left out to suffer her foolishness. His coping mechanism severely fucked her over and I’m supposed to “see him in a whole new light?” Sorry honey but the lights have been turned on this entire time. “You never asked me to,” ohhhkay you little conesucker I’m gonna cone YOU instead. Matt got coned! Matt got coned! Don’t get me wrong I’m really not team Lucy but I’m also not team of the man-child brother.

Now for a new segment I like to call: Toxic Time with Hannah, where I name a scenario that’s toxic but not as bad as the other toxic shit in the book! It sounds fucking terrible of me to say and not healthy but Lucy’s whole thing is wanting to be able to move out… This man literally gives good dick and has a house RIDDLE ME THAT. Idk be his roommate with benefits for all I care, but just be selfish for ONCE. This also made her initial reason for breaking up with him just… utt-dairy-ly ridiculous. But she explained it later and I actually got on board with her reasoning and liked how she realized he messed up.

I liked their chemistry from the beginning and loved the workplace drama. However, it didn’t last very long and they banged it out around 50%. The first bang was good and hot but the rest were all closed door lickity banana split and to that I say, of course! Because I can’t have ONE nice thing. Also his dirty talk was alright except for when he used the words “bountiful” and “succulent” like she was a prize thanksgiving turkey. She apparently liked his poetic foreplay but I choked on my cake cone. I liked their frozen treat photoshoot and really craved ice cream throughout this whole book.

Overall, I wasn’t totally sure at the beginning because the writing style wasn’t totally my thing, but I really did think it was going to turn around after the sex. I liked the characters when not considering their families. I liked their tension and drama. Ultimately, I was too annoyed with their self-sacrificial, half-pint attempts at fixing their families. I never felt like there was enough yelling and making everyone else feel bad to justify the actions.

⭐️⭐️.5/5 🌶🌶.5*/5

*This technically qualifies as three peppers because it had an explicit sex scene but seeing as it cone-blocked me for the rest of the book, I’m not feeling too generous.


✨Thank you to the author for an advanced review copy. All opinions are honest and my own.✨
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Initial thoughts:

I thought I could like it but I just can’t