Melki's Reviews > Horrorstör

I worked in retail for ten years, every job from the good (B. Dalton Bookseller), to the bad (Pearle Vision Center), to the really, really ugly (Sear's Outlet - where someone tried to return a used vibrator). The one thing all these jobs had in common? After the customers have gone home and the store is closed and the lights are turned low...it's rather creepy.

One of my favorite retail stories (and I may have told this one before - I'M OLD, so I'M ENTITLED!) is the night when Sue and I were closing the bookstore. You had to turn out the lights at the breaker in the back room, then walk all the way to the front of the store to exit. We were about a quarter of the way to the front when something crashed to the floor behind us. We didn't turn around, just took off running for the door. There is no doubt in my mind that had Sue fallen and couldn't get up, I would not have stopped to help her. And I'm sure she would have left me in her dust as monster chow had I dropped, as well. Two women in their thirties, running like bats outta hell, frightened by a noise.

See what retail does to you?

Poor Amy has become something of a slacker. Forced to drop out of community college, she's been working for retail giant, ORSK. She hates her job, most of her coworkers and especially her supervisor, Basil. But weird things have been happening in the wee hours when the store is closed. Though the security cameras have captured nothing, employees arrive each morning to broken and damaged merchandise. Basil drafts a few "partners" to stay all night and help him catch the vandals. Amy is one of them, and if she thinks her current job is mind-numbing and repetitive, wait until she gets a load of how she may end up spending eternity...

The first half of the book is terrific. The author does a fantastic job of mocking retail culture, motivational slogans and by-the-book managers. Then it takes an abrupt turn, all humor disappears, and the tale becomes a fairly standard horror story. It's almost as if the second half was written by a different author.

So, yes, this is definitely a case of style over substance, but oh, oh, OH! what style! The layout of the book, with its featured products - products that get more and more disturbing as the story advances, mission statements, employee reviews and order forms is DEAD ON. The whole book is clever and innovative...almost like a piece of inexpensive, ready-to-assemble furniture or a store designed to force you to visit EVERY department.

Just don't forget your magic tool.



You'll need it!