Sasha's Reviews > This Book Is Gay
This Book Is Gay
by
by
Just to make that clear for people liking (and commenting on) this review:
I did NOT give this book two stars because I think there is anything wrong with being part of the LGBTQIA+/MOGAI community.
I gave it two stars because it claims to be inclusive but for the most part only covers issues that people who are gay/lesbian (and stick to binary genders and all the expectations society brings with them) have to deal with. I gave it two stars because I don't consider this book to be very inclusive, especially when it comes to non-binary people and/or those who are not gay or lesbian (i.e. bi or pan or ace or ...).
So please refrain from commenting when all you intend to do is to suggest I read queerantagonistic books. Don't like this review. I'm not on your side, I don't agree with you and I honestly don't need your prejudices in my life.
What I liked.
It's an uplifting book. One message repeated over and over again is: "Whoever you are, that's fine!" Plus, there are lots of sections especially young people might find very useful - coming out, who to tell, how to tell, sex, STIs ... So, thumbs up for that.
The BUT. It's a very big one.
You're fine with that book if you're a gay boy/man. You got Grindr explained and are directly addressed throughout the whole book.
If you're a lesbian girl/woman, it's ... okay. You won't get to know what the lesbian equivalent of Grindr is and mind you, dental dams are more important than Juno Dawson makes them seem to be, but otherwise it's okay. I guess.
Any other identities ... well, you get the definitions for "bisexual", "queer", "curious", "asexual" and "transgender", but the one for bisexuality is extremely narrow and excludes most bisexual people, and if you're hoping for the acknowledgement of non-binary genders, you got the wrong book. Generally, the author often refers to differences as "gay or straight" (though not always) and lists any issues any sexual orientations other than homosexuality face as homophobia.
Maybe Dawson wanted to simplify things. Maybe, but it doesn't make it right. And it doesn't explain this constant use of "men and women".
What is particularly confusing is that there seem to be moments of light. E.g. after repeatedly implying that gender = genitals, it is mentioned that there is more to men than just penises or that not having any surgeries is fine ... only to continue as before. What irks me the most about it is that stuff like this is toxic. It's telling people: You're either a boy or a girl and if you want to "become" the "opposite" gender, then you need a penis or a vagina. Mentioning that this isn't actually true once or twice doesn't erase what has been spread before.
Another passage is also rather telling. On page 214 it says:
Apparently, mentioning and defining asexuality at the beginning is enough and you don't have to acknowledge them again.
So what now?
The title is actually quite telling. This book is gay - and binary. And parts of it are great! But seeing that it even spreads misinformation when it comes to genders and some sexualities ... well, I can't recommend that.
People have been asking for alternative titles you might read instead. I haven't read it yet myself, but The ABCs of LGBT+ has been recommended in the comments and it does sound great.
I did NOT give this book two stars because I think there is anything wrong with being part of the LGBTQIA+/MOGAI community.
I gave it two stars because it claims to be inclusive but for the most part only covers issues that people who are gay/lesbian (and stick to binary genders and all the expectations society brings with them) have to deal with. I gave it two stars because I don't consider this book to be very inclusive, especially when it comes to non-binary people and/or those who are not gay or lesbian (i.e. bi or pan or ace or ...).
So please refrain from commenting when all you intend to do is to suggest I read queerantagonistic books. Don't like this review. I'm not on your side, I don't agree with you and I honestly don't need your prejudices in my life.
What I liked.
It's an uplifting book. One message repeated over and over again is: "Whoever you are, that's fine!" Plus, there are lots of sections especially young people might find very useful - coming out, who to tell, how to tell, sex, STIs ... So, thumbs up for that.
The BUT. It's a very big one.
You're fine with that book if you're a gay boy/man. You got Grindr explained and are directly addressed throughout the whole book.
If you're a lesbian girl/woman, it's ... okay. You won't get to know what the lesbian equivalent of Grindr is and mind you, dental dams are more important than Juno Dawson makes them seem to be, but otherwise it's okay. I guess.
Any other identities ... well, you get the definitions for "bisexual", "queer", "curious", "asexual" and "transgender", but the one for bisexuality is extremely narrow and excludes most bisexual people, and if you're hoping for the acknowledgement of non-binary genders, you got the wrong book. Generally, the author often refers to differences as "gay or straight" (though not always) and lists any issues any sexual orientations other than homosexuality face as homophobia.
Maybe Dawson wanted to simplify things. Maybe, but it doesn't make it right. And it doesn't explain this constant use of "men and women".
What is particularly confusing is that there seem to be moments of light. E.g. after repeatedly implying that gender = genitals, it is mentioned that there is more to men than just penises or that not having any surgeries is fine ... only to continue as before. What irks me the most about it is that stuff like this is toxic. It's telling people: You're either a boy or a girl and if you want to "become" the "opposite" gender, then you need a penis or a vagina. Mentioning that this isn't actually true once or twice doesn't erase what has been spread before.
Another passage is also rather telling. On page 214 it says:
However, all people - gay or otherwise - must recognize that there is one universal truth of the universe:
WE ALL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH LOADS OF PEOPLE.
Apparently, mentioning and defining asexuality at the beginning is enough and you don't have to acknowledge them again.
So what now?
The title is actually quite telling. This book is gay - and binary. And parts of it are great! But seeing that it even spreads misinformation when it comes to genders and some sexualities ... well, I can't recommend that.
People have been asking for alternative titles you might read instead. I haven't read it yet myself, but The ABCs of LGBT+ has been recommended in the comments and it does sound great.
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Reading Progress
September 8, 2014
– Shelved
September 8, 2014
– Shelved as:
to-read
September 21, 2014
–
Started Reading
September 21, 2014
–
13.55%
"It's very disappointing that the author addresses the gender binary but still thinks in it - on that note: no, bisexuality is not about liking "both men and women" but about liking (two or more!) genders similar and different to your own. It cannot be that difficult to understand, jfc."
page
37
September 26, 2014
–
74.73%
"No mention of dental dams in the sex ed section and at first none in the STI section either ... but then, in the very last sentence. Without explanation though, which is unfortunate considering many don't know what dental dams are. (Didn't either until recently.) Plus, this book is esp. for young people, who don't just get that information in their sex ed classes - which the author seemed to be aware of?"
page
204
September 26, 2014
–
74.73%
"Just, this book could have been so so good, if it would just be as inclusive as it claims to be. Sure, it can't contain every single thing to know, but many things that are missing are hardly unimportant or peripheral. I expected it to be better, simply put."
page
204
September 27, 2014
–
Finished Reading
June 14, 2016
– Shelved as:
lgbtqia
Comments Showing 1-50 of 61 (61 new)
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Miss Bookiverse
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Sep 27, 2014 10:46AM
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May I suggest you actually read my review before suggesting I read homophobic books.
Either you accept people of other sexualities or you don't. Don't try to mask your own prejudices with that "yes but" attitude.
It's really sad she couldn't make the book what it was supposed to be, and even damaging in some cases. I wrote her once (very shortly) on Twitter about it and she claimed that any exclusion hasn't been her intention but she also didn't seem to be very willing to think about that criticism, unfortunately.
Some info on romantic attraction could have been incredibly helpful. I know I still don't really know whether I'm somewhere on the aro spectrum or not and I highly doubt I'm the only one.
I totally agree. Would it have been so difficult to say "people with penises have sex this way" instead of "men have sex this way"? It almost seems as if he's advocating for all trans people to get surgery and refusing to acknowledge that some women have penises and some men have vaginas. And there's very little mention of people outside the gender binary and intersex people. I suppose it's a good primer for a cis gay person, but for anything beyond that, I would even say Dawson is being offensive. Like what's with that flowchart at the beginning? If you don't identify as male or female it doesn't matter and you need to pick??? Almost makes me want to write a book that addresses everything he didn't. I didn't appreciate a lot of the humour or euphemisms, either, but maybe that's just me.
I totally agree. Would it have been so difficult to say "people with penises have sex this way" instead of "men have sex this way"? It almost seems as if he's advocating for all trans people to get surgery and refusing to acknowledge that some women have penises and some men have vaginas. And there's very little mention of people outside the gender binary and intersex people. I suppose it's a good primer for a cis gay person, but for anything beyond that, I would even say Dawson is being offensive. Like what's with that flowchart at the beginning? If you don't identify as male or female it doesn't matter and you need to pick??? Almost makes me want to write a book that addresses everything he didn't. I didn't appreciate a lot of the humour or euphemisms, either, but maybe that's just me.
I don't think it's just you. I mean, I could chuckle a bit every now and then, but there was just stuff that was supposed to be funny and turned out to be pretty close-minded. E.g. that one time she tackled prejudices, one being "gay guys aren't real men" (or something) and proving that to be wrong by saying they have penises, so yes, they're men. That's really just what you've been criticizing, and I think there were too many passages like that. It baffles me that nobody would think that that's pretty bad for a book that's supposed to be LGBTIAQ+ friendly.
let's face it, nowadays 'gay' is also used as an umbrella term for the whole spectrum not just gay men. And even if you don't use it that way (I know I'm not the biggest fan), the very introduction of the book states that this book is about the whole spectrum. So this is indeed what I and everybody else can expect from that book. If it had started stating that this is really only about being gay - no issue there. But it didn't and in the end, the book just didn't deliver.
And, frankly, lack of experience is no excuse. This is why research exists. Research was done (the author also has recently come out as a heterosexual trans woman, and this is a realisation Dawson had while writing this book), just either not to the degree that the topic deserved, or all that info that is missing was either disregarded or ignored or I don't know what. And that can be criticised.
Honestly, even if we'd expect this book to be only about gay people - there are people who are gay but don't stick to binary expectations of gender and/or are trans, and they damn well deserve to be included.
So, there are also REAL non-binary gay people. All of whom also need that help and which the book actually claims to be written for as well - but isn't.
TabbyCat wrote: "Now I know that I should look elsewhere for such a book. :)"
And Tabby, I wish I could point you to another book trying to do such a thorough job and doing it better - but nothing comes to mind.
"Throughout This Book Is Gay, I've used LGBT* to represent the full and infinite spectrum of sexual and gender identities. It's certainly not my intention for anyone to feel excluded by that initialism; I just needed a shorthand or the book would of been a LOT longer!"
Just thought I'd share that. I know how you feel, and I wished it talked more about all of the other ones, but like he said, it'll be a much bigger book.
You're welcome! If you're fine with online resources, these might be good places to start: http://arospecawarenessweek.tumblr.co... (I know Tumblr can be a tricky issue but it helped me a lot to figure things out.)
http://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=gen...
I know of none that try/claim to cover the larger spectrum, sadly, but maybe books covering individual identities are okay too?
Personally, I think Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution is a fantastic resource, covering all things bisexual and taking into account various intersections (being a person of color, for exmple, or being trans and/or non-binary and much more).
I've heard good things about Julia Serano's books, especially "Whipping Girl".
Biographies might be good place to start as well? There's Janet Mock for example.
Speaking of gender, The Gender Book is a great community-created resource.
Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is supposed to be great too, though apparently it has the same issues with defining bisexuality that Juno Dawson's book has.
That's all I can think of on the top of my head ...
These reviews also might help a bit?
That’s not quite what I said either, Tereza. I was talking more about the lack/disregard of research regarding most identities discussed.