Madeline's Reviews > Rich People Problems

Look, I know what I said. I know that I wrote in my review of China Rich Girlfriend that I wasn’t going to continue with the series. All the fun and novelty of the first book had worn off, and I realized that I was just reading a story about people who had so much money it had turned them into sociopaths. I said I was done, but I don’t like to leave things unfinished. So here we are.

As one can tell from the rating, Kevin Kwan was not able to turn things around for the last book. In fact, this series has taken such a hard nosedive since Book One that I have a hard time believing that I ever enjoyed reading about these people, and don’t think I’ve ever experienced such an extreme change in my feelings towards a series. (well, except maybe Harlots - we’re all pretending that season 3 never happened, right?)

The problem is that, frankly, the current state of the world means that I cannot enjoy a story about the problems of spoiled billionaires anymore. The entire drama of this book centers around the impending death of Nick’s grandmother, and which of her heirs will receive Tyersall Park in her will. Will she and Nick be able to mend their relationship in time so our golden boy can claim his birthright as Lord of the Manor? What on earth will happen! I certainly couldn’t guess!

We’re supposed to be invested in this, because Nick is the only relative who DESERVES to inherit the estate the size of a fucking national park. But when this novel takes place, Nick hasn’t even spoken to his grandmother in five years, so no matter how many times he insists that Tyersall Park is his beloved childhood home and he has a strong emotional stake in the property, it mostly comes across as Kwan covering his own ass and trying to convince us that he’s done the work to justify these feelings in his characters.

(There’s also a lot of flashbacks to Su Yi’s adolescence, and it’s basically Kwan retconning her into a nice person and glossing over the fact that she kicked Nick out of the family for marrying Rachel, because if there’s one thing this series has taught me, it’s that none of the characters in this book have ever met an emotion more complicated than “angry, but also sad.”)

There was a tiny hint of the book that this could have been, and it was enough to keep me going until the end. At about the halfway point, Kwan establishes that the bulk of Astrid’s inheritance comes from palm oil. A short time later, we have a character who runs a charity to save orangutans. Okay, now things are getting interesting, I remember thinking. Was Kwan going to have his characters connect the dots, and make sure his readers understand that orangutans are going extinct because their habitats are being destroyed to farm…palm oil? Was Perfect Astrid going to have to confront the fact that her lavish lifestyle is entirely funded by blood money? Would these people, who wouldn’t know a Consequence if it kicked them in their couture-clad ass, have to finally examine how their obscene wealth directly impacts the planet?

LOL nope. The connection between the Leongs' money and the gradual destruction of the planet remains tenuous at best, and the only character who points it out is Charlie Wu’s crazy ex-wife (oh, also Charlie has turned into Mr. Rochester for the purposes of the narrative). Speaking of Charlie Wu, what’s the environmental impact of his massive tech company? How much does he pay the factory workers who assemble the microchips or whatever?

Speaking of consequences, remember Rachel’s half-brother Carlton, and how in the beginning of the last book he caused a car crash that killed one woman and paralyzed another? He still hasn’t done any atonement whatsoever for that act, and even though he still feels so super bad about what happened, that’s pretty much the end of the discussion. (ugh, and it’s a one sentence fix too! “We’re so impressed with Carlton, he started going to AA and donated a gazillion dollars to some anti-drunk-driving charity” or whatever) And worse, we have Colette Bing, who I guess is just a full-fledged villain now. Okay, yes, she poisoned Rachel in the last book, but Rachel is fine. Again – Carlton killed a girl and paralyzed another, yet when Collette reveals this information to Carlton’s new girlfriend, it’s treated as an act of vindictive, jealous backstabbing.

(Kwan is so far up his characters’ asses that the only people in the book who bring up the past sins of his protagonists are the women labeled “crazy.” What a weird coincidence that is!!!)

Rachel’s barely in this book, by the way. We’re not quite in “sexy lamp” territory, but her main job in the few scenes where she appears is to make comforting noises while Nick complains about his family drama. There’s a little seed of a plot where Eleanor is obsessed with getting a grandchild, but that goes basically nowhere. It’s clear that Kwan has grown bored of Rachel, and he seems to think that what the people want is more Astrid instead. Kwan is wrong – I’m sorry, but Astrid is fucking insufferable. She has no flaws whatsoever, and what flaws do attempt to poke their heads out are ignored by the text. (True, there’s nothing technically wrong with getting engaged before the ink on your divorce papers is dry, but is it a dick move? Kind of! Does Kwan want to admit this? Nope! Perfect Astrid, who poops rose petals and doesn’t know what a pimple is, will not be questioned!)

God, I got so sick of her. There’s this wonderfully tone-deaf line where she reflects that she can’t remember the last time she really took a vacation just for herself, because every time she travels it’s for family stuff or business, and I’m staring at the pages saying, “You. Go. To. Paris. Once. A. Year. To. Buy. A. New. Couture. Wardrobe.” Oh, and also after she reads a line in a gossip magazine claiming she’s always sitting front row at fashion shows, protests that she never does that because “I’m always backstage, helping out.” UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

It’s unfair to harp on stuff like this, I know. This is supposed to be a fluffy, fun beach read that keeps you entertained for a few hours with its descriptions of unimaginable wealth and luxury. But it’s not fun for me, anymore, and I can’t just sit back and enjoy a story about a bunch of people who have the power to enact so much change, but instead just dither around buying art and having divorce drama and fighting over a fucking house. Long ago, I wrote a very snotty review of Gossip Girl and how it wasn’t even a real book, and now I find myself taking that all back. Kevin Kwan wishes he were on the same level as Gossip Girl, because say what you will about that series, at least Cecily von Ziegesar had enough interesting characters to maintain her series for a dozen or so installments. We’re only three books into this series, and Kwan’s boredom with his own characters is obvious. Hopefully this is the end of it.

(Fuck, am I gonna have to re-read the entire Gossip Girl series? Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. I owe von Ziegesar an apology)