Elle ♡ [semi-hiatus]'s Reviews > A Court of Silver Flames

4.5 stars!

What a journey that was... I haven't been this invested in and engaged by a book in quite a while so it really reminded me why I used to love spending so much time and energy on these long, intricate fantasy series. (Edit: I'm not even done writing my review and I'm just coming back to say I have no idea why I'm writing so much and I'm sorry if you decide to read this whole thing lol).

I've always loved Nesta (unlike a lot of people in this fandom, it seems lol) and as soon as Cassian started sparring with her way back when I've needed their story. That said, I haven't touched this series since 2017 and immersing myself back into the ACOTAR world so I could get the most out of this book is quite the undertaking so I put it off for about a month lol. It took me a week to re-read and then get through this new book, starting back at book 2 (can't bring myself to re-read book 1 lol IYKYK)...just a casual 2,360 pages, nbd, but so worth it.

Nesta is a very imperfect person. We all are to varying degrees, but Nesta really lets the world know she's imperfect and that she doesn't care what anyone thinks about it. She's complex and hard to love and as this series has gone on she's only gotten worse. She took a real turn after the war and if you read book 3.1 you know the Nesta we start book 4 with is the worst version of herself to date and that's really saying something. As I was reading this I was almost surprised (I say 'almost' because honestly bad behavior and Nesta go hand in hand) by the new lows she hit. Words I'd associate with her behavior: Petty, proud, prickly, pissy, petulant... also: spoiled, selfish, self-centered, self-serving. Lot's of p and s words apparently lol, but they fit. She's so broken by everything that's happened to her and hates herself so much that she punishes herself by pushing everyone away so throughly that it's a miracle and a testament to how loved she is that anyone would bother to still try to help her.

I fully believe that trauma shouldn't be compared. Just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean you're not justified to feel broken by whatever has happened to you. That said, we've seen a lot of trauma in this series and what Nesta has experienced isn't the worst by far, but her implosion was the biggest by far. Mostly because the person Nesta was before she experienced all this trauma was not equipped to get through it or to reach out to others for help. She knows only one way to survive and that's to guard herself at all costs against any vulnerability so when she's left as a raw, open wound after the war she completely closes down to protect what's left of herself. Then she gets so lost in herself, so jealous, so hateful that she completely loses perspective on reality, honestly. It was exhausting trying to keep up with the mental acrobatics she was doing to make all the people that love her the most seem like villains in her story. We've all heard the phrase "hurt people hurt people" and damn when someone like Nesta Archeron is hurt you better watch the fuck out cause she packs a punch like no other. So to say the start of this book was hard is an understatement lol. As I said I've always been so intrigued by Nesta, but she made it so hard to root for her a good portion of this book.

Then we've got our other main character: Cassian, general of Rhys' Illyrian army, and another character I've always loved. We knew Cassian's backstory going into this book, but being in his head when he relays his history to Nesta, when he keeps reaching his hand and heart out to her even though she rips him down every chance she gets, when he's called a 'brute' and a 'bastard' by every damn person he comes across, hearing him, the most fearsome warrior in Prythian, doubt himself and his abilities...it really exposed vulnerable parts of Cassian we hadn't fully seen yet. The big Illyrian baby ♥️...love you so much Cass!😭♥️

While this book is very Nesta focused and about her climbing out of the pit she flung herself down into, Cassian is brilliant in this book. He takes endless shit from Nesta, but he knows he's the one that can get through to her and get her through this so he perseveres. Not only that, but he becomes Nesta's staunchest supporter and continually fights for her even when others can't yet see the best in her. Rhys asks him to take on new duties that are outside of his comfort zone, but align quite well with Nesta's innate skill set. So while Nesta learns and grows a lot under Cassian's guidance he also learns a bit from her. I think anyone that's ever gone through mental health struggles or knows someone who has will resonate with Nesta's journey of finding and rebuilding herself into the best version of herself she can be.

Things I loved about this book:
-The friendships Nesta made.
-The empowerment and growth that happened not only for Nesta, but those she reached out to in her depression to help them heal along with her.
-The symbolism of the stairs that carried through as a thread throughout the whole novel was powerful, I think.
-Cassian and Nesta's relationship, obviously haha.
-Not gonna lie, I loved how smutty this book was😂 SJM is YA no more (hasn't been for a while honestly). This was fully adult fantasy romance.

Things I didn't love or would liked to have seen more of/get a better explanation for:
-Mor and Cassian's relationship has always been hinted at as more complex than we're shown, but they barely interact this book and Cassian's feelings towards her weren't expounded on.
-Nesta's power and abilities are never fully understood or tested. And by the end there's only more questions about where she stands power-wise.
-Why the fuck Nesta hates Feyre so much lol. I wanted this 757 page book to be longer honestly, because I still don't understand why Nesta and Feyre's relationship is so complex or why Nesta chose to love and cloister her younger sister, Elain, but decided her baby sister was the enemy. I would've loved to see a true apology to Feyre from Nesta and an explanation for her past behavior. Instead, this book was mostly like 'I've grown, let's leave the past in the past' and I'm like..no I want to know why and a little groveling would not be remise either haha.
-Illyrians. I wanted more of them and their culture. I find it hard to believe that of all the Illyrians over the past 500+ years there's not one other male that's even a little bit forward thinking like Cass, Az & Rhys. Also it's hard to see how Cassian can really solve problems between Illyrians and command armies when he's so viciously hated and belittled. That wasn't ever shown just told to us that Cassian would fix things, but how?! If there were even a few Illyrians that liked and respected Cass I feel like it would be really interesting to interact with them and get more insight into the clans that way, but no, they're just this giant homogenous, hateful, backwards, warrior race with no nuance or distinction. I also would have loved to hear what Lord Devlon thought at the end of the book haha. I just feel like this was our one chance to get to know the Illyrians better because Cass is the most entrenched in their society, but instead of working with the girls and women there and affecting change in the camps, one of the females comes to Nesta and works with them so we don't really get that interaction I was hoping for.

Overall, I loved this book. It was entrancing to watch Nesta Archeron fight so viciously against herself and any good that came her way, but emerge better for it and find her purpose and passion along the way. The Nesta she becomes is the perfect compliment to Cassian and I honestly wish there was more of this book. I need to see how Nesta and Cassian operate as a team in the future, especially when it comes to battles and if she can restrain herself the next time an Illyrian belittles Cassian lol. Given how many enemies are still lurking I'm sure I'll get my wish to see the might of Cassian and Nesta united to defend the court in no time😉