La Petite Américaine's Reviews > Gossip Girl

Look. I don't want to sound too much like Tipper Gore in the 80's, or too much like Maude Flanders of The Simpsons, tearing out my hair and screeching "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!?" ... but this book? Are you fucking kidding me? Have teenagers really grown up so much in the 9 years since I was one, when I was content with R.L. Stine and Christopher Pike, and scandalized by Sweet Valley High? I mean, COME ON.

Not only is this book written with the intelligence of a monkey on acid, there's just something stomach-churning about a plot-less book about teenagers with too much money gulping down booze, sticking their fingers down their throats, sleeping with each other's boyfriends, and saturating it with deep prose suck as "shit," "fuck," "slut," "bitch," "whore," etc as if it were all normality, you know, just a day in the life. Christ.

The actual Gossip Girl TV show is so great that I felt inspired to read the book ... but what makes the program so awesome is that they just stole a premise, a few characters, and a general plot outline from the novel ... leaving the rest as he horrible pile of shit it is. If I ever catch my future kids reading this, I will smack them on the head for being so goddamn stupid.

Sucked.