Becky 's Reviews > Gods & Monsters

** spoiler alert ** Friends to lovers.
They met when she is 12 and he is 14, there is absolutely no one for them other than each other. It’s my favorite trope so I overlooked many things and was able to enjoy it and even give it four stars

I read the reviews talking about their relationship being toxic and they are not untrue, but what can I say? I’m a hypocrite and I liked this book.

This is gonna be a strange review because I’m writing it mostly to remind myself of this book.


She thinks too much and it pissed me off at the beginning because I wanted to read about their story, I want the dialogues between them and I feel like it could show more of them together when they were teenagers hiding and I was bothered by the fact he watched porn when they were teenagers, he told her about it and she wasn’t bothered, I was because he is doing it but she isn’t. She doesn’t get aroused watching girls, he watch couples and his favorite video is one with a blond girl like the heroine and the man holding her hair to masturbate. This pissed me off because mostly because she isn’t watching it too.


“There’s this video I like. The girl is a blonde like you and she’s got long hair like yours.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “The guy pulls her hair and wraps it around his dick. Fuck. I come every time I see that. Every fucking time.”

“Porn. Yeah. I’m so gone over you that I look for girls who have your hair. I watch and I jerk off but I don’t get relief. Because no one is like you. No one.” He swallows. “Do you hate me? Do you think I’m a goddamn jackass for watching porn and thinking about you?”

“I spent a lot of my time glued to my computer back in that town, back when I couldn’t be where I wanted to be: with Pixie. I imagined a lot as well, watching couples on screen. I’m not proud of it and neither am I ashamed. It was something I did, like a million other people.”



When they move to NY he started working filming porn and he lied to her for weeks (25 days) about his job, he hide it and it pissed me the fuck off. He gets aroused filming the porn shots and when he comes home he is crazy to fuck her. He lied to her about his job and I didn’t think his apology was enough, I wanted my grovel!!! She wasn’t bothered about his arouse because when she went to his job she too was aroused seeing people fucking. I didn’t like it even though they watch it and it’s said clearly they think about themselves doing it, I believe then because they are literally crazy about each other but this shit still bugged me. Before they recorded their first scene she did some researches for one week which means she watched all kinds of porn, she even had one favorite couple and she got so hot watching them when Abel arrived home she was ready to be fucked.

She knew something was off when he was lying to her but didn’t know what it was and when he told her the truth it was implied she asked if he was cheating
“And then one night you asked me if there was…” He sighs, tugs on his messy hair. “There’s no one else for me, Pixie. There can never be. Every day I fucking drown in you and I don’t wanna come up for air. How can there be someone else? I don’t want someone else.”

“What about you? I’m not like these girls here. My body isn’t all toned and muscular, you know.”
“Are we doing this again, Pixie?” He lowers his face until his nose is grazing mine.
“You wanna know what I think about when I look at them?” I nod.
“You. I think about you. I know this place is fucking seedy. I know it’s fake and ugly and you don’t talk about it in polite company. Hell, people don’t admit to watching porn, let alone making it. There’s lust and sin at every corner.” He kisses my forehead.
“But even then, you manage to break through. I hear a fake moan and I think about your real ones. I see a girl biting her lip to look coy, I think about my girl and how she bites her lip because it’s so good for her. Don’t you get it? You make everything good and pure. You make everything an adventure. When I’m with you, I’m not afraid of anything. I’m not afraid to be a sinner. I’m not afraid to go to hell. Because my heaven is with me.”


“My eyes go to Abel. He’s standing up straight, his camera lowered. He’s watching the couple not through the thick lens that he uses to make everything immortal, but with his own eyes. His lips are parted and even from the sidelines, I can see the dark flush on his cheeks. I can read the tightness in his frame. He’s aroused; I am, too. And I know he’s thinking about me, just as I’m thinking about him. I’m not surprised when his eyes find me and latch on. I know my husband inside out; I can read those dark orbs.”



I like how she left him for two months and during that time he really did things to be better. He looked for another job, he moved to their own house, he watched their tapes, he truly recognized his mistakes. He also called her everyday, first to ask her to come back and then to tell her he was changing so she would come home. After he watched their sex taped he was so disgusted with himself he stoped calling and was literally physically sick with his behavior, two days later she called him to met and talk about told him about the surprise pregnant that wasn’t a surprise because they fucked without condom, there was one time he finished inside her (she got her period after that) but then she also forgot some pills and already felt the baby the night she left him. He didn’t try to get back together with her when they meet again because he doesn’t think he deserves her, but he still apologizes, he truly changed and he cared a lot about her.


After their talk, they decided to take things slow and I liked that a lot, they dated for two months living in separated houses. Her pregnancy become a risky one and she needed rest so she moved in with him and they spent two months healing and they dealt with their past and they got back together. He stoped being a slob, he cooked for her, he read pregnancy books, he improved and so did she by recognizing him as a human being not a greater creature. They weren’t a couple during these four months but they are still married and it’s obviously they don’t even think about anyone else. It’s like they are together but they aren’t having sex or kissing and are sleeping at separated beds, they were taking baby steps.


I know people disliked this book but I like how crazy bosses they are for each other, of course I only like it because it’s fiction. I think the author did a nice job having them realizing their mistakes and truly changing, they did grow up a lot. He was a very devoted man and so was she, even with the getting aroused watching other people fucking bullshit I liked this book. I wanted more. The epilogue was not enough.


Also, her father is a piece of shit and so is her mother. Fuck that shit town!

A strange love story but I believe in their love, they are both all about each other and I love it. I really liked this book. I love a book without any ow/om drama, they are each other first and only everything.

“Jesus Christ, she’s beautiful. Nah, not beautiful. She’s stunning. Ethereal. An angel. A goddess.”

“Then, I can’t stop myself and I don’t want to. I slide down to my knees, cement hitting my bones, my palm still connected to where my daughter lies, inside my wife. Is there anything godlier than this? Is there anything more peaceful, more terrifying, more humbling than kneeling in front of the mother of your child?”