Stephen's Reviews > Lord Foul's Bane

*Soul-saddened SIGH*.....Damn, damn, DAMN...life can really be full of suck.


This book really torched my hopes and dreams. NOT because it was nightmarishly horrible (which it wasn’t) but because I wanted it to be so brimming with steaming chunks of mouth-watering awesome that I could write a stinging, snark-filled “anti-anti-Thomas Covenant” review...my rant against the ranters.

I suspected I had a excellent chance of really liking this story because most of the criticism of the series revolves around how douchy and unlikeable Thomas Covenant (the main character) is. Not a problem for this reader as I have no problem hating a protagonist as long they are interesting, well drawn and compelling. I don’t generally care if I like them. In fact, some of the most memorable characters I have come across have been ones that made me cringe like a baby before broccoli. I despised Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, Lou Ford in The Killer Inside Me, Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, and even, at first, Tyrion Lannister** from A Game of Thrones).

** I must point out that my dislike for Tyrion didn’t last past the second book and I now want him to be my BFF because his awesomeness is off the charts.

So I didn’t forsee that an unlikeable main character was going to be much of an obstacle for me. Plus, having already enjoyed the first two installments of Donaldson’s “Gap” series, I knew the man could write so I figured I might be in for a real treat (and then I would show all those Thomas Covenant haters out there)........*cue sinister music*

........*end sinister music*

Well for the first 70 to 75 pages my plan was working perfectly and I was sitting squarely in 5 star territory and starting to brainstorm what insults I would hurl at the “insult hurlers” in my defense of what I was sure must be “THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD FANTASY CLASSIC OF ALL TIME.” Ah, if only someone would have warned me how wrong I was....


I even flew right through the infamous rape scene and had my explanations/defenses already germinating in my caustic little brain. I was thinking ‘granted there is NO justification for rape, but we have seen similar events in other novels (e.g. The Outlander series that so many people seem to fawn over). Also, Covenant did express lingering guilt over this senseless and brutal act and his remorse is something that continues to play an important part in the narrative. Thus, I think his deep regret and loathing of himself for what he did and the “uncontrollable impulse” aspect of the initial crime makes Covenant’s behavior despicable while still holding out the possibility of his redemption. OOOOOOOHHHH take that all you haters!!!!

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[BRIEF INTERLUDE]

Those of you “Covenant haters” out there that are reading this and know the almost Shakespearean tragedy that was soon to befall me as my initial positive feelings for the book were horribly ripped away from me by the oncoming train wreck of its narrative problems, I can only hope that you can forgive my earlier arrogance in wanting to prove you wrong.

[END INTERLUDE]
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Unfortunately, shortly after the rape scene when I thought the story was really going to ramp up into uncharted bastions of EPICness, inconsistencies in the narrative structure began to really, really get in my way. Before I can explain, I need to give a brief thumbnail description of the basic plot.

Thomas Covenant is a leper....yes LEPER. How cool is that. The man has leprosy. He was a best-selling writer before he got the big “L” and lost two of the fingers on his right hand. He also lost his wife and child who packed up and moved on the greener pastures that had a little less leprosy in them. So Tommy boy has been going through the “mother of all” rough patches when we first meet him. Oh, Oh I almost forgot. The leprosy has also made him impotent....nice bonus!!!

So at the beginning of the story, TC is living alone in a perpetual pissed off mood and is being shunned by his entire community due to the whole “leprosy is icky” vibe he is putting out there. Well TC, as a not so subtle FU to the townsfolk, decides to walk down to the power company to pay his bill in person. During this excursion, he has an accident, loses consciousness and wakes up in “the Land” which is the fantasy world in which the series takes place. So far, so good.

Well Thomas doesn’t believe he is in a strange new world. He thinks he is unconscious or dreaming or in a coma, etc...He is afraid to take any of the new world seriously because he thinks it will indicate his final break with reality. TC’s grip on reality is all the more important to him due to his leprosy (trust me on this, no time to explain). Anyway, all of this sounds great to me. A fantasy character who doubts the world around him. Bring it on!!!!!

WAIT....WHAT IS THAT?......

DANGER.........

FLASHING RED LIGHTS...........

PROBLEM AHEAD....................

STEVE’S REVIEW (AND HIS WHOLE PLAN) IS HEADED FOR TROUBLE.......

NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!..................

FULL STOP....TRAIN WRECK AHEAD.


Note: you will have to imagine the sight of my murdered dreams as I could not find a picture that truly showed the horror of my disappointment.....
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Here is where Donaldson completely lost me and I lost all of my hopes of turning the "hate against the haters." Instead, the read became a waking nightmare that haunted me and began slowly crushing my will to live.


You see, Thomas Covenant the “Unbeliever” is only partially and occasionally an unbeliever and only when his unbelief can be used to some kind of dramatic effect. Otherwise, he seems to take the world very, very seriously. This is THE central plot device of the entire series and it is more inconsistent than a politician during campaign season. In fact, I could probably open the book up anywhere during the last 300 pages and find an example of this inconsistency, but I will at least mention a few so you know what I mean.

At one critical point in the story, TC vows to stop eating because he believes that by starving he will “force the illusion of the world” to be revealed. Sounds good, but do you know what ole TC is doing when he makes the vow to ignore food?.....he’s grabbing the freaking wine skin and taking a swig!!!! HUH??? Food is illusion but I might as well “believe” in the wine.....I need some help on this one.


Once I started looking for this, I found it everywhere. I asked myself whenever Covenant did anything...“if you are dreaming and you know it why are you bothering to do X Y and Z.” I NEVER got a good answer. AND HERE IS THE BIG ONE. Covenant doesn’t believe in the world and tells this to everyone who will listen AND YET he continues to follow the course laid out for him by Lord Foul at the beginning of his “dream” throughout the entire time he is there. Again, HUH????



Despite his complete lack of belief in the reality of this fantasy world, TC goes through extreme hardship and turmoil to travel the length of the Land because he “conveniently” tells himself that continuing to move forward is the key. No, No, No, Mr. Donaldson, that makes no sense. The truth is it is just too inherently difficult to have a main character in a fantasy world not “participate” in the story.

You got yourself stuck!!

Bottom-line, if TC doesn’t believe where he is than he should ACT like it. Don’t just tell us and then occasionally say I won’t do such and such because none of this is real. Be true to your lack of convictions TC because otherwise you just come across as a failed literary experiment, which, unfortunately, is what I think you are.

Anyway, that is where the story lost me. I would add to the above major grievance that the narrative was also too disjointed and Donaldson was never able to really make the world come alive, despite the fact that some of the world-building elements were pretty interesting. Thus, while I liked the idea of the Land and some of the secondary characters (especially the giants) they came across too much like set pieces given the rather undefined nature of the world.

Overall, I think that Donaldson had a very interesting idea for a story but it just suffered from the fundamental flaw of being almost impossible to pull off in the context of a coherent narrative.

2.0 stars. *heavy sigh*