Manny's Reviews > Hamlet

** spoiler alert ** Jesus Christ what a year no way could this get worse now they're hacking away at each other with their swords and I'm supposed to look interested oh well done Hamlet despite everything he's still my son that was a lovely feint pretty worried about Laertes though he looks so crazy first his dad and then his sister wish I could do something to help oh come on who am I kidding it's Hamlet I'm worried about of course God what am I going to do that poor kid is totally fucked and he thinks it's all my fault I told Claudius it wasn't smart to hush up what happened to Kingy they'd only believe he'd done it was I right or was I right of course with the two of us carrying on it did look suspicious don't blame people for jumping to conclusions I wish he hadn't broken up with Ophelia she seemed like such a nice girl everything just got worse after that he was so mean to her takes after his father that way know how she felt there were moments I could have jumped in the river myself and then lecturing me on my sex life I couldn't believe it honestly teenagers all think they've invented sex they can't imagine anyone over twenty still does it I'm only thirty-six for crying out loud I'm in my sexual prime not that I was getting much before Claudius noticed me poor old Kingy completely hopeless in bed have to hand it to Claudius even if he is a bastard he's the first man who's ever given me an orgasm can't imagine what Hamlet would say if I told him that bad enough as it is oh for Christ's sake Laertes what do you think you're doing that's not a real sword you know sweet Mary mother of God I need a drink but if Claudius sees me he'll start going on again about my alcohol consumption I'll wait until his back is turned and grab a quick one before he notices right here's my chance one glass won't k---