Greg's Reviews > Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity
Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity
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With the full disclosure that I used to work for the publisher of Far from the Tree and spent a lot of time helping to bring this book to life, I can say hands-down that this is one of the very best--and most important--works of nonfiction I've ever read (and probably will read for a long time to come).
Solomon, who won The National Book Award for The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, spent ten years interviewing families that are extraordinary in every sense of the word, but most particularly in that the parents, by having borne children who are incredibly different from themselves, have become better people in ways they could never have imagined. These children are deaf, dwarfs, have Down Syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, and other severe disabilities; they are prodigies, criminals, conceived in rape, or transgender.
Spanning 700 monumental pages (the remaining 250 are notes and index) the stories in Far from the Tree,which are interspersed with deep research and bookended by Solomon's own story as a gay son and father, create an astounding narrative scope, at the heart of which is the argument that we need to accept these people as having full and rich identities, as opposed to simply illnesses or conditions. Solomon writes, “Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference is what unites us. While each of these experiences [of the disabled] can isolate those who are affected, together they compose an aggregate of millions whose struggles connect them profoundly. The exceptional is ubiquitous; to be entirely typical is the rare and lonely state.”
There’s so much in Far from the Tree that to capture its breadth in a review this short is impossible. Let’s just say it’s about nothing less than what it means to be human. To read even a page of its laser-sharp prose is to experience a worldview that’s revolutionary in its humanity and empathy. Don’t be daunted by the length; reading experiences this good are worth drawing out and savoring as much as possible.
Solomon, who won The National Book Award for The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, spent ten years interviewing families that are extraordinary in every sense of the word, but most particularly in that the parents, by having borne children who are incredibly different from themselves, have become better people in ways they could never have imagined. These children are deaf, dwarfs, have Down Syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, and other severe disabilities; they are prodigies, criminals, conceived in rape, or transgender.
Spanning 700 monumental pages (the remaining 250 are notes and index) the stories in Far from the Tree,which are interspersed with deep research and bookended by Solomon's own story as a gay son and father, create an astounding narrative scope, at the heart of which is the argument that we need to accept these people as having full and rich identities, as opposed to simply illnesses or conditions. Solomon writes, “Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference is what unites us. While each of these experiences [of the disabled] can isolate those who are affected, together they compose an aggregate of millions whose struggles connect them profoundly. The exceptional is ubiquitous; to be entirely typical is the rare and lonely state.”
There’s so much in Far from the Tree that to capture its breadth in a review this short is impossible. Let’s just say it’s about nothing less than what it means to be human. To read even a page of its laser-sharp prose is to experience a worldview that’s revolutionary in its humanity and empathy. Don’t be daunted by the length; reading experiences this good are worth drawing out and savoring as much as possible.
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Reading Progress
August 20, 2012
– Shelved
August 23, 2012
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Started Reading
November 7, 2012
– Shelved as:
favorites-best-of-the-best
December 5, 2012
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Finished Reading
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Steve
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Nov 18, 2012 03:20AM
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Solomon writes, "... The exceptional is ubiquitous; to be entirely typical is the rare and lonely state."
As much as I'm eager to dive into this book, this sentiment is bogus on every level. Many of my friendships begin without my knowing of any specific way that the other person can be excluded from the "entirely typical" (whatever that even means). Usually the relationship progresses until you do know of specific differences. But what if it didn't? Would I drop my friendship with that person like a hot leprous potato in shock and horror?—my shock and horror over encountering someone in the minority pariah sect of the "entirely typical", on the supposition that they've never experienced any form of social exclusion merely for being weird (present sociopathic social-calculus excluded)?
The mathematically inclined may now consult the "interesting number paradox" on Wikipedia.
The paradox states that every natural number is interesting. The "proof" is by contradiction: if there exists a non-empty set of uninteresting natural numbers, there would be a smallest uninteresting number – but the smallest uninteresting number is itself interesting because it is the smallest uninteresting number, thus producing a contradiction.
In any case, I'm seeking this book out because I'm slowly working toward a book of my own on invisible difference, where it's a constant battle to convince people that you're not half so normal as you seem—even before Twitter entered the room.
[*] Invisible difference, as opposed to the vogue and conspicuous difference of possessing a self-appointed pronoun, today's cuddly "it" panda from the SJW zoo of charismatic underprivileged megafauna.