len ❀ [small hiatus due to studying]'s Reviews > The Kite

N.R. Walker was one of the first MM authors I ever read, and she quickly became an author I counted on, so it pains me to give one of her books 1-star for the very first time.

The potential was there.

We are promised assassins, enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine, one-bed trope, us-against-them, and hate sex.

The execution, though, was not.

Somehow, it was these things exactly that disappointed me.

Every time I read a book that is promising a specific thing but ends up being just another loosely marketed one, it reminds me that I probably could write my own enemies to lovers with other favorite tropes and do the bare minimum for it, yet it would likely garner attention due to its marketing strategies. Perhaps it’s because I continue having high hopes for it, but whenever a book is promoted as “enemies to lovers,” I feel I’ll finally find the one I’m looking for. Sadly, it only ends up being the same enemies to lovers book as every other one I’ve read: we have our two main characters who hate each other for the first 10-20%, yet still find each other very attractive, to the point where their hatred is suddenly forgotten and taken over by their attractiveness. It’s such a weak structure. It shows how little development authors put into their relationship. It’s even sad how someone’s looks brainwash you entirely to the point where you find yourself attracted even though you hated every part of them only a little ago. Suddenly you don’t know who you are, everything has changed, and you feel the need to protect them. I wish someone could explain to me how exactly this works.

Enemies to lovers trope is not a superior trope for me. It’s weak, hardly ever developed, and has a repeated formula. In the case of The Kite, our two main characters, Harry and Asher, although they have a similar role, are enemies. Why? I have no fucking idea. We are told they hate each other and have to accept it. The lack of backstory on why they hate each other is one problem I found. We spend the book following them around as they run and hide together, but we never find out why they hate each other. Before we know it, they’re catching feelings. This structure is fragile, underdeveloped, and shows how little info you place on your character’s arcs to let the reader get to know them more. While we learn more about both of them later on, as they tell each other part of their stories, it’s at the point where both are attracted in a romantic and sexual sense. The lack of a backstory between passages didn’t help the characters’ non-existing chemistry. 20% in, one of Harry’s inner monologues is asking himself why Asher affects him and where the patience and indifference he’s prided himself in is. He asks, “What is it about Asher Garin that rankles me so much?” Honestly, I also want to know because we never really find out. Their relationship takes a 360 turn in a matter of pages and moments.

6% - Asher smiled, and good fucking lord, Harry hated him. “I want to put a gun to your head,” Harry mumbled. “So fucking bad.”
And what did Asher do? He laughed.
Harry pulled his pistol. “Tell me why I shouldn’t put a bullet in you.”
Asher didn’t even flinch. In fact, his smile became a smirk. Unbothered. Unbelievable.
(If their banter had continued like this without sex taking over most of the time they had together that wasn’t focused on running and hiding, it would have definitely made it more sexually tense, added to their growing connection, and overall friendship.)

29% - His head was telling him not to be stupid, but his heart was . . . well, his heart was now beginning to make decisions, and that scared the shit outta him.
(Look at how fucking early on his stupid heart got involved.)

31% - It really pissed Harry off that he enjoyed Asher’s company. As much as he annoyed him, as much as Asher infuriated him, Harry absolutely hated that he liked him.
(Okay but why? Why do you like him? What is there to like? He teases you and makes you want to shoot him in the head. Other than that, what development has happened?)

33% - Sure, he trusted Asher. Somewhat. But not that much.
(You trusted him enough to give his mouth your dick, so that’s enough, right?)

37% - “You won’t even look at me,” Asher yelled, this time in English, before he shoved Harry in the back.
(Imagine being in your 30s and throwing a tantrum as you pout because your supposed enemy won’t look at you, give you what you want (sexually) and is denying what his body wants? How pathetic.)
After this, they had a physical fight, Asher wanted to be dominated, so Harry did dominate, they gave in, had sex, went to sleep, woke up in the morning, day moved on.

45% - Asher grinned. “You are jealous.”
Yes, you are. Admit it. As much as you loathe this man, you like him too.
(What is there to like? All you’ve done is have oral and anal sex and bicker.)

46% - Asher laughed. “We’re all bad guys, Harry. You and me, we are the bad guys.” He shook his head, amused. “You kill for your government. I kill for anyone’s government. They might call it service or honourable duty, but it’s all murder.”
(Too bad the roles of being assassins were hardly relevant to the story)

51% - He liked Harry.
Sure, he was grumpy and his sense of humour could use some work, but he was also thoughtful and protective. And Asher knew, without a doubt, that Harry would have his back if and when it came down to it.
(Where can I find someone who likes me for two personality traits—being grumpy and having a boring sense of humor, but also because I’m a generic human being?)

63% - “You still angry? Pissed off? Wanna pummel something, Harry? You know I like it when you’re rough with me.”
(This is (unfortunately) how their relationship developed)

68% - “Please. He is . . . he is everything to me. Please. Did you see anything?”
(Since when?)

92% - “I don’t think my home was ever a place, Harry. I think that’s what this whole mess has taught me. I spent so many years longing for a normal life, for a home. But home for me was never a place or a country or a flag. It’s a person. And wherever he decides feels right for him, that’ll be okay with me.”
(Oh it’s the end already?)

There is no development as they run and hide together. Every moment is either sexual, formed through the desire and arousal they have, or they’re running because they’re being followed to be killed. Yet, in between those moments, there is nothing else being offered. Even though they are entirely and provably sexually attracted to an extreme (which I would have appreciated, along with the “hate sex” if it wasn’t the only thing they could do), the sexual tension between the two is primarily negative in the sense that it feels shameful at first (such as how Harry hates that he wants Asher physically, and Asher even gets mad at Harry because he won’t give in even though they both know he wants to). I’m not a fan of this kind of attraction. Look, I get it. They’re both men in their 30s, have some pent-up anger they want to release, and their hormones act are making them act like teenagers again. They don’t think with their mind but their body most of the time, and it takes only a couple of seconds to get them going. Yet, when it comes to sexual tension, which can lead to the emotional connection, especially in enemies to lovers, I expect it to be more, you know, tense? But it felt like there was no sexual tension. There were none of those moments that books tease us with–eye contact, desire but not giving in, getting closer to each other, wishing for a kiss, subtly making physical contact, admiration, and more. There weren’t any moments that made me believe in growing feelings between the two as we’re more perceptive of the character’s emotions.

I believe this book had a promising start when we met both Harry and Asher. Harry is the grump, always scowling, wishing Asher would shut up, and hardly ever smiles. His cold demeanor comes from the lack of connection he has to the world. He has a job to fulfill, missions to complete, and targets to get rid of. So he does as he says and moves on. On the other hand, Asher is the polar opposite–while not entirely a sunshine personality, his bright self is more prominent. Instead of scowling all the time, he maintains his bright smile to earn himself a good reputation. While he also has a role in fulfilling tasks to care for, he carries scars from his past. Having no loyalty, nationality, family, or home, he sticks to himself with the help of his informant. What starts as a back and forth, push and pull, teasing, bickering, and even fun banter turns into annoyance, repetition, and confusion. Even with suspension of disbelief, which I didn’t need to do here (mostly because I’m used to it already when it comes to military/action media), I couldn’t get behind the relationship. No matter how fun, entertaining, and funny the banter between our protagonists is, it adds nothing when it doesn’t further the attraction they’re trying to deny. Most of it is because it only started a certain way. Still, once things began changing gears and getting steamier, most of their conversations felt the same, with sex added to it. Asher started to push Harry’s buttons sexually, and Harry wanted to deny his sexual attraction but couldn’t resist. Most of the time they spend together is either of them having sex or figuring out their following location to run away to.

I’ve said this before, but for two opposites and “enemies,” the relationship was fast-paced. Not only with the lack of development, but I couldn’t figure out what exactly the two characters liked from each other. It felt like they only acted like their personality traits, and there wasn’t anything else they could offer. It happened too quickly. Sex is also not something that verifies a connection between the characters. Instead, it makes it less believable, underwhelming, and more disappointing overall. If you’re not going to give me a reason to believe in two characters falling in love, especially two men who had never fallen in love before, had trust issues the entire beginning of the book, and have roles that aren’t the exact best spot to be in when you’re vulnerable, I’m not going to be rooting for the couple at all. I know N.R. Walker is known for her low-angst, comforting reads that make love seem easy. Still, considering how she decided to take a different route in her writing here and write something new, it should be expected that there needs to be more growth added. I’ve read books from this author that are shorter and longer than I’ve enjoyed, and I believe in the love between the characters. So there’s no excuse, but it all feels lazy at this point. It’s weak, lacks a lot of substance, and holds no actual value to what the book is trying to pinpoint, mean, and show.

So far, this is my least favorite book by this author. It was underwhelming, disappointing, and didn’t offer anything it promised to give. However, even with the suspension of disbelief, I couldn’t get behind accepting and loving the characters and the relationship. But for anyone who does want to read anything by her, I love and highly recommend The Weight of It All, Galaxies and Oceans, On Davis Row, Exchange of Hearts, and the Missing Pieces trilogy.