The Water Babies

How times have changed. When this film was made in 1978 its content was deemed perfectly acceptable for children.

Set in the Victorian age, it features a young child, Tom, who is beaten and forced into slavery by his two masters, most notably Bernard Cribbins as Masterman, and is often to be heard uttering exclamations such as the one above. His life is so horrific that as he passes through a town square (with a bare-knuckle fist-fight in full flow), his only escape is to drown himself. That's right, a children's film where suicide is seen as an acceptable form of salvation.

Once underwater things get a little less entertaining, as the voices of David Jason, Una Stubbs and Jon Pertwee combine with an unconvincing animation to tell the story of Tom's destiny as a "water baby". There are four or five songs throughout this segment, though they are chiefly forgettable, with only "Hicocalorum" managing - just - to remain in the cerebrum a day after viewing.

Tom emerges from the lake and it all comes to an end, with the revelation that a deformed old bag woman was his guardian angel. Well, at least it didn't adhere to traditional stereotypes and managed a PC characterisation ahead of its time. And the film? Hopelessly dated, and with vastly inappropriate elements for a family movie, it contains a perverse sort of enjoyment.