20 reviews
I rented this because the title and box art just screamed "bad movie" and I was not disappointed.
For blood effects, I noticed a wide variety of food products, including strawberry jam, red kool aid, and katsup. Gun shot effects, as the previous user put it, look as though they were made by poking holes through the film. Vampire are people with plastic vampire teeth. This movie looks like it was made with a camcorder, they can't keep the camera from wobbling and it's enough to make you feel sick.
Acting is absolutely horrible. Dialogue probably wasn't scripted, but improved... badly. People screw up their lines and the camera keeps rolling as they repeat them two or three times until they get it right. In dialogue scenes outside where they cut back and forth between two people's faces while they talk, the background noise is different each time and there is a delay before each person talks so you can tell the conversation is segmented.
There is a lot of completely random crap throw in, a guy eating a fly, a guy stirring up a bowl of blood (katsup) with a rubber severed hand and licking the blood (katsup) off the rubber fingers.
There is a Deus ex machina every five minutes. Amulet that makes vampires invincible. Vampire killing task force. The main character is really good at cracking safes, and it just so happens that everyone in town uses the same exact safe.
I can't list everything that was wrong with this film, because the entire film was just a complete disaster. If you love the art of bad film as much as I do, you'll love this one; rent it with friends. No nudity though, which is a shame because there were a couple really cute girls. This was in my top 5 list of the worst movies I've ever seen. I hope they make a sequel.
For blood effects, I noticed a wide variety of food products, including strawberry jam, red kool aid, and katsup. Gun shot effects, as the previous user put it, look as though they were made by poking holes through the film. Vampire are people with plastic vampire teeth. This movie looks like it was made with a camcorder, they can't keep the camera from wobbling and it's enough to make you feel sick.
Acting is absolutely horrible. Dialogue probably wasn't scripted, but improved... badly. People screw up their lines and the camera keeps rolling as they repeat them two or three times until they get it right. In dialogue scenes outside where they cut back and forth between two people's faces while they talk, the background noise is different each time and there is a delay before each person talks so you can tell the conversation is segmented.
There is a lot of completely random crap throw in, a guy eating a fly, a guy stirring up a bowl of blood (katsup) with a rubber severed hand and licking the blood (katsup) off the rubber fingers.
There is a Deus ex machina every five minutes. Amulet that makes vampires invincible. Vampire killing task force. The main character is really good at cracking safes, and it just so happens that everyone in town uses the same exact safe.
I can't list everything that was wrong with this film, because the entire film was just a complete disaster. If you love the art of bad film as much as I do, you'll love this one; rent it with friends. No nudity though, which is a shame because there were a couple really cute girls. This was in my top 5 list of the worst movies I've ever seen. I hope they make a sequel.
I cannot even fathom the words to use to describe the exact level of horrificness of this movie. The script could pass for something produced in a 3rd grade class for "special" kids and the plot is about as creative and interesting as the mound of feces my dog dropped off in the yard about an hour ago. Many of the special effects could have been done better in Microsoft Paint....by a blind idiot. I was in awe of such terrible spectacles, such as the guy who kept licking the blood of a plastic hand; the baseball interrogation scene; the lion-roar-esquire sounds the female vampires made; the blue muzzle flash from the guns; the girl in the wheelchair who seemed to just evaporate at the end leaving nothing behind but blood on the wall which was nothing more than water with red food coloring....seriously. But my personal favorite was the extremely awful "bomb" that consisted of a egg timer,a computer printer cable, and a bar of ivory soap.... what the hell? I can only hope that when I am on my death bed, that god gives me an additional 83 minutes of life to make up for the tragic display I had to witness. The creator should be ashamed of himself as he upset Mariah Carey for creating a worse film than Glitter, which in comparison could pass as Citizen Kane. Do yourself, an society a favor and go to your local video store and ask the man (or woman, for this politically correct world) for all the copies of Vampiyaz, then proceed to toss them into a raging inferno, and to never be viewed again by human eyes. But please remember to recycle the plastic melted goo left over, it should have never been used in such a train wreck of a movie. Christ, this movie made me mad, and it's making me mad right now knowing I took the time to write this review. This movie makes suicide seem like a day of fun. Have a nice day.
Typically when sitting down to watch a low budget film, I have low expectations. This didn't even meet those. I think the DVD distribution cost more than the entire budget for the film.
First off the acting was straight out of a high school play. I can't figure out how you could let some of those scenes through. No one had a decent scene in the entire movie (that's not a joke).
OK, it's about vampires; you're not really looking for acting anyway. The special effects, well, also left over from a high school play, and in some cases condiments from lunch. The fight scenes were poorly choreographed and terribly acted out. The gun play is even worse. Look for the CG muzzle flares, big money.
Finally, the story garbage. I've seen 3rd grade kids write better plot lines and dialog (especially involving vampires). It would have been OK had they totally cheesed out and went for comedy, but it's not. It's an attempt at some serious scenes. It's uncomfortably bad, you can't laugh at it, but it's so very terrible.
Stay away from this one, total waste of 2 hours.
First off the acting was straight out of a high school play. I can't figure out how you could let some of those scenes through. No one had a decent scene in the entire movie (that's not a joke).
OK, it's about vampires; you're not really looking for acting anyway. The special effects, well, also left over from a high school play, and in some cases condiments from lunch. The fight scenes were poorly choreographed and terribly acted out. The gun play is even worse. Look for the CG muzzle flares, big money.
Finally, the story garbage. I've seen 3rd grade kids write better plot lines and dialog (especially involving vampires). It would have been OK had they totally cheesed out and went for comedy, but it's not. It's an attempt at some serious scenes. It's uncomfortably bad, you can't laugh at it, but it's so very terrible.
Stay away from this one, total waste of 2 hours.
Generally, even in the worst of films, I can find something positive to say - i.e. with 30 Years To Life, it had a good plot, with several unbelievable aspects to it, but it was good overall with decent acting. Like most viewers, I got sucked in by the box art, which promised a Blade-esque Black vampire flick. Well this movie is no Blade. This movie isn't even a *dull* Blade. This is easily one of the worst movies I have seen this year.
The nicest thing I can say about it is that the music was pretty good - generally Hip-Hop soundtracks are limited at best, but the songs fit the movie well. Also, I really *liked* the in-jail sequence early in the movie, although the way it was shot makes it seem the character was only in jail in his mind (or its the world's least populated jail).
Which makes the rest of the movie that much harder to bear. After the decent setup (the two main characters hit-and-run a girl after a botched robbery) the movie goes downhill, with bad special effects (forgivable with good writing/plot - see the Doctor Who TV series), bad writing (the interrogation scene with the baseball being the one exception - small flash of brilliance there!), bad editing (wait is he going up the stairs? down the stairs? Is there a room *on* the stairs, wait, somebody is shooting? What happened to the other guy on the stairs?), inane character actions(he gets the bling and WALKS DOWN THE STREET WITH IT *boggle*), unintentionally comical scenes (when the main vampire gets exposed to sunlight and dam near does the Harlem Shake or the levitating wheelchair scene at the end that should have been very emotional - and *would* have been in a better-written movie), feeble attempts at comic relief (the character that helped the main vampire or the throwaway line about the rap song when the two Vampire-hunter characters are in the car), horribly-shot action scenes (the final blurry, mis-edited fight scene) *sigh*
Look, just avoid this one like the plague. I hope that the filmmakers take the time to study some more action flicks and improve their craft - I saw some good ideas at work in this movie, but they were ruined by really really really faulty execution.
The nicest thing I can say about it is that the music was pretty good - generally Hip-Hop soundtracks are limited at best, but the songs fit the movie well. Also, I really *liked* the in-jail sequence early in the movie, although the way it was shot makes it seem the character was only in jail in his mind (or its the world's least populated jail).
Which makes the rest of the movie that much harder to bear. After the decent setup (the two main characters hit-and-run a girl after a botched robbery) the movie goes downhill, with bad special effects (forgivable with good writing/plot - see the Doctor Who TV series), bad writing (the interrogation scene with the baseball being the one exception - small flash of brilliance there!), bad editing (wait is he going up the stairs? down the stairs? Is there a room *on* the stairs, wait, somebody is shooting? What happened to the other guy on the stairs?), inane character actions(he gets the bling and WALKS DOWN THE STREET WITH IT *boggle*), unintentionally comical scenes (when the main vampire gets exposed to sunlight and dam near does the Harlem Shake or the levitating wheelchair scene at the end that should have been very emotional - and *would* have been in a better-written movie), feeble attempts at comic relief (the character that helped the main vampire or the throwaway line about the rap song when the two Vampire-hunter characters are in the car), horribly-shot action scenes (the final blurry, mis-edited fight scene) *sigh*
Look, just avoid this one like the plague. I hope that the filmmakers take the time to study some more action flicks and improve their craft - I saw some good ideas at work in this movie, but they were ruined by really really really faulty execution.
- realityscape
- Dec 19, 2004
- Permalink
OK, this movie is horrible from start to finish. Even in the credits they spell performed "perfromed". Like the last comment stated, why in the world was the girl walking on the dirt road late at night when she lives in the inner city? They never explained why there are vampires, the history of the amulet, and I can go on forever. I mean the cover box art is so photoshoped I couldn't even tell who the guy was in the movie. There were bullets shot at walls that left no holes, blood as thin as red kool-aid, gun fire that was blue and to top it off, when the handi-capped girl explodes, we hear an explosion, then 3 seconds later her chair rises slowly (at a real-time frame rate) and then some kool-aid is thrown against the wall (not to mention our protagonist is only 6 feet away and not wounded). So to sum up the movie. It sucks...
- lastgoldrush
- Nov 7, 2005
- Permalink
- CreedenceLeonoreGielgud
- Nov 22, 2005
- Permalink
A Vampire film that really does SUCK!!!
What more can i say? this film looks as though it has been shot by film students with a budget that's less than the price of a big mac! I thought Bones starring Snoop Dogg was bad but this takes it to new limits!
The blood looks like raspberry sauce and the guns they use are BB guns which you actually notice when one of the main characters cock's his gun. The special effects ain't much better they seem to be superimposed on top of the guns used in the film to create muzzle flashes. But what's the point of going to this effort if you can't be bothered to put bullet holes anywhere? To sum it up this film is really bad but if you want to say you've seen possibly the worst film ever then give it a go but I Wouldn't recommend it.
What more can i say? this film looks as though it has been shot by film students with a budget that's less than the price of a big mac! I thought Bones starring Snoop Dogg was bad but this takes it to new limits!
The blood looks like raspberry sauce and the guns they use are BB guns which you actually notice when one of the main characters cock's his gun. The special effects ain't much better they seem to be superimposed on top of the guns used in the film to create muzzle flashes. But what's the point of going to this effort if you can't be bothered to put bullet holes anywhere? To sum it up this film is really bad but if you want to say you've seen possibly the worst film ever then give it a go but I Wouldn't recommend it.
- razorlight
- Nov 12, 2004
- Permalink
This movie at first seems to be a real stinker. However you have to look at things from another perspective. Consider that all these characters are street people. They are used to certain situations and nothing else. Granted there were somethings that were confusing. Take the guy in the bunny suit. There really needed to be something to explain why he was, and who he was. Also why was the girl walking around on that dirt road? That aside, there were some very good ideas in the film. Such as the Vampire Master becoming a much more cerebral being. Hey you spend 8 years and not able to sleep and you would read a lot too. The hero who just cant seem to catch a break. The "Ghetto Fabulous" Renfield was a scream. I thought the Vampire Assault Team could have used some polish. They seemed disconnected, almost as if they were thrown together and had never done the job before. And for some reason the Team Leader seemed to be immolating Rosie Perez. But if you don't take them seriously, you don't really care. The movie is not about them, Vampiyaz is about a failed thief and a vampire he wants revenge on. The story was tied together nicely and it seemed to try to go for action but fell just short of the mark. The fights were thought out but not well acted.
All in all it was not a BAD movie. It just needs some work in some areas. This was a low budget movie that did the best it could with what was available, or so it seems.
All in all it was not a BAD movie. It just needs some work in some areas. This was a low budget movie that did the best it could with what was available, or so it seems.
This movie is so freaking hilarious. People, please realize that this film was not meant to be serious. The FUBU-wearing main vampire, Khalil, is probably the funniest character in the movie. It's so funny when he falls out of character and improvises his lines with some ghetto-speak that you would hear from some dude straight out of the hood versus a sapient, well-read vampire.
Furthermore, The "VAMPIRE HUNTERS" in the movie are rather young for seasoned vampire exterminators. I guess there was a job fair targeting teenage blacks and Puerto Ricans in the inner city of New Jersey who were interested in joining the vampire slayer industry. Blade would be proud. Also, I did not know people had strawberry syrup for blood until I watched this film. I must revisit my studies of human biology. Please, get drunk and then watch this movie.It's a classic and belongs in every college dorm room across the country. 2 thumbs up.
Furthermore, The "VAMPIRE HUNTERS" in the movie are rather young for seasoned vampire exterminators. I guess there was a job fair targeting teenage blacks and Puerto Ricans in the inner city of New Jersey who were interested in joining the vampire slayer industry. Blade would be proud. Also, I did not know people had strawberry syrup for blood until I watched this film. I must revisit my studies of human biology. Please, get drunk and then watch this movie.It's a classic and belongs in every college dorm room across the country. 2 thumbs up.
- zacharyhocker
- Jul 2, 2005
- Permalink
Have the director/editor/producer/writer etc actually realised what a complete pile of **** they have produced.. honestly i have no words to describe the complete and utter dismal absurdity and awfulness of this joke.. I'm not going even going to refer to it as a film because people have strapped video cameras to wild animals and produced more entertaining pieces of film..
where do i begin!? the whole thing with the white guy in the baby suit?!!? what?!? the 'gun fights' which produced no noise, blood, sound, smoke... oh wait.. there was a popping noise that seemed to go off every now and then....was that relevant or was it some errand boy opening a packet of crisps offstage? some black guy with a plastic dolls hand (which appears everywhere, in every single scene) randomly licking strawberry syrup off a paper plate?!!? some woman in a wheel chair!? general pointless running into buildings which have coloured lamps in each room!? there is no obvious plot, horrific script (i think most of it was improv.. not that it shows or anything), stupid effects that I'm sure have been created random using tat from a corner shop, i think most of the costume (ie. vampire teeth, some amulet) came out of Christmas crackers. the Video camera skills are similar to that seen on You've Been Framed, no evident 'acting' to speak of, just monotonous pointless talking/rambling.
OK what else... honestly i don't even know why I'm wasting my time writing this, please just heed my warnings!! this film is NOT so bad its funny. it goes past that because the cast and crew are actually taking this seriously! i laughed for 1/4 quarter of it.. then i just got disgusted and bored. I'm glad i didn't pay money for this sorry excuse for a 'ghetto vampire film' AND MAKE SURE YOU Don't EITHER!!! bye bye (^_^)
where do i begin!? the whole thing with the white guy in the baby suit?!!? what?!? the 'gun fights' which produced no noise, blood, sound, smoke... oh wait.. there was a popping noise that seemed to go off every now and then....was that relevant or was it some errand boy opening a packet of crisps offstage? some black guy with a plastic dolls hand (which appears everywhere, in every single scene) randomly licking strawberry syrup off a paper plate?!!? some woman in a wheel chair!? general pointless running into buildings which have coloured lamps in each room!? there is no obvious plot, horrific script (i think most of it was improv.. not that it shows or anything), stupid effects that I'm sure have been created random using tat from a corner shop, i think most of the costume (ie. vampire teeth, some amulet) came out of Christmas crackers. the Video camera skills are similar to that seen on You've Been Framed, no evident 'acting' to speak of, just monotonous pointless talking/rambling.
OK what else... honestly i don't even know why I'm wasting my time writing this, please just heed my warnings!! this film is NOT so bad its funny. it goes past that because the cast and crew are actually taking this seriously! i laughed for 1/4 quarter of it.. then i just got disgusted and bored. I'm glad i didn't pay money for this sorry excuse for a 'ghetto vampire film' AND MAKE SURE YOU Don't EITHER!!! bye bye (^_^)
- alice_is_gay
- Mar 5, 2006
- Permalink
This was most likely the strangest film I have ever seen. The story is about a robber that get into trouble with his old friend who is now a vampire. His vampire friend needs some "amulet" to no longer be a vampire. The amulet is in a heavily guarded area where a bunch of gangstaz will try to kill the main character. The movie was pretty random and didn't make a whole lot of sense. There was some guy hanging out with the main Vampire who was just nibblin' on a human hand having a grand old time. The special effects are terrible. Gunshots look as if someone poked holes with a needle into each frame of film in which a gun was fired. And then there was this scene where a girl in a wheelchair blows up for reasons beyond me. When she explodes her body somehow turns into a cloud of blood. Then there was a guy in a bunny suit that got shot in the face yet no bullet was even there... I recommend this movie if you want to really just laugh at the television.
- coupdetatx
- Oct 4, 2004
- Permalink
i went to the DVD store, hoping to rent a good thrilling, chilling piece of art. As many people i guess, i got taken by the beautiful box, and the nice text written on its back: vampires, dead people walking the streets... That's what i was expecting. Until i saw the movie and realized how awful it was. I really mean it: everything about it is terrible: the acting, the effects, the succession of events...Especially the guy they kill in the first place, the one who was dressed in pink like a baby!!! Why???? I also laughed a lot at the shooting effect: it was more like light coming out of the guns.And if you really want to watch it, please take your time to laugh at the part where the guy is using a cut off hand to taste blood in a platter. Why the hand? Couldn't he just put the blood in a glass and drink it??? The movie is a failure. But watch it, just so you know what failure means!!!
- mighty_sam76
- Mar 17, 2006
- Permalink
- slayrrr666
- Aug 9, 2008
- Permalink
- jfgibson73
- Apr 22, 2010
- Permalink
What. This movie is the greatest movie ever made. Why? Because no movie has ever made me projectile vomit during every scene. And by projectile vomit, I mean, I kept falling asleep and when I woke up I hadn't missed any of the plot. In fact, so many lines and scenes were repeated that this 3 hour movie could have easily been edited down to about 20 minutes of fake vampire attacking scenes. This movie caused me to ponder the important questions about life. Such as 1.) Why was some dude wearing a bunny suit to bed? 2.) Why didn't Jakeem/Richard want to put some money in his bum ass pockets? 3.) How could this movie have beaten The Gingerdead Man, Ice Queen, and Troll 2 as the worst horror movie ever made? In conclusion, it will be quite a while before I decide to become a professional lock pick thief. This movie taught me tons of moral values like that. Like for example, you don't always have to bang prostitutes. Sometimes you can just ask them to hold you. Deep stuff. I can't wait for Vampiyaz 2, which can be expected to come out soon based on the intense cliffhanger ending we were left with at the end of the first one.