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Reviews
The Sweeney: Pay Off (1976)
Glass in the frame.
Maintaining the high standard of series 3, Pay Off starts with one of the best ever pre-credit scenes, involving a wages snatch by an armed gang wearing sinister looking masks. The Sweeney (minus Regan & Carter who aren't on this case) are on their tail, and in the ensuing shoot-out the stoppo driver panics and makes off with the loot, leaving Frank Haskins with egg on his face.
Fast forward a year, and George Carter starts going out with an attractive croupier called Shirley who works in a low rent casino run (unknowingly to her) by three of the gang; she asks Carter to try and find the whereabouts of an old boyfriend called Eddie Glass who'd vanished without trace about a year before. Further enquiries reveal that Glass might've been in on the blag, which leads Haskins to reopen the investigation into the as yet unsolved crime. Carter and Shirley are kept in the dark about the latest developments, including the discovery of a body, and are unaware that the gang have tumbled them, putting their lives in grave danger - is Haskins using them as bait in order to settle an old score?
A very good episode from start to finish with an excellent performance by Geraldine James; notice how sunburned everyone looks in this one - Pay Off was filmed during the great heatwave of 1976.
Minder: Bury My Half at Waltham Green (1979)
A watershed episode.
Whilst the very first episode of Minder 'Gunfight At the OK Launderette' went a bit off-piste, the second 'Waltham Green' was an altogether lighter, funnier, and more enjoyable affair. Terry McCann is assigned to mind a newly released prisoner who is now eager to collect his ill gotten gains; unfortunately for them a couple of rather tasty firms are also out to get the loot - there follows a terrific episode full of twists & turns and some great one liners.
The magical chemistry between George Cole and Dennis Waterman is evident from the start, and although they, Nicky Henson and Kenneth Cope are all very good, i think Ann Lynn upstages everyone as a gangster's moll, a performance which earned her a well deserved encore in series two.
In terms of style and humour i think 'Bury My Half at Waltham Green' laid the blueprint for everything that followed.
Minder: Better the Devil You Know (2009)
Minder jumped the shark with this turkey.
It's said that the road to failure is paved with good intentions, and someone, somewhere must've thought that remaking Minder was a good idea - unfortunately they chose the wrong people to make the wrong show at the wrong time. The history of remaking old classic tv shows is littered with such flops.
The problems with this episode range from Shane Richie not having any comic timing (not that he's given any good lines to say), the minder not having any charisma, to the painfully wooden acting of the Gold brothers (more like two random guys plucked straight from the dole queue), and the dreadful, incessant background music. Being the noughties, we also get a liberal dose of pc like the smart, black female detective who runs rings around all the stupid white men, and the poor single mum being hounded by a pair of greedy property developers - hardly an original plot. As is usual these days, the writer uses a sledgehammer to drive home the message at the expense of nuance and subtlety.
Apparently 'Better the Devil You Know' is one of the better episodes of this turgid spin-off; if so then spare me the really bad ones.
The Sweeney: Hearts and Minds (1978)
The one with Morecambe and Wise.
When The Sweeney was at its brilliant best the humour was a natural by-product of great writing and acting, but a few episodes like this one were played mainly for laughs and the results could be dire. 'Hearts And Minds' is really just a rather flimsy vehicle for Morecambe & Wise who were past their best by 1978, and whoever wrote their lines for this one was certainly no Eddie Braben.
Many Sweeney fans agree that series 4 was the weakest, with too much emphasis on comedy, and the long absence of Haskins; they even spoiled the classic opening & closing credit sequences. Fortunately, John Thaw and Dennis Waterman could see the writing on the wall by now, and at least ended the show on a high with 'Jack Or Knave'.
Minder: Bring Me the Head of Arthur Daley (1994)
'That's my boy!'
The penultimate episode of Minder (and a lot better than the finale), in which Arthur suffers a series of 'accidents' which result in several brushes with the law, and begins to twig that malevolent forces are behind them. Meanwhile, behind bars is residing Charlie Knowles, 20-stones of sheer nastiness who harbours an old grudge against Arthur the size of his huge frame; he may be banged up but he has friends in low places and they're tasked to arrange that Arthur gets plenty of porridge. At first Arthur tries to appease Knowles, but when that fails Ray decides to take the bull by the horns and try to save his uncle from prison, or an even worse fate.
This was perhaps the episode where Ray Daley finally came of age - he realises that he can't out-muscle a gangster like Knowles so he uses his wits and cunning instead. Despite initial reservations, Arthur Daley was proud to call Ray 'family' in the end, and unlike with Terry, i think he had a genuine affection for his likeable nephew and saw in him a worthy successor - it would've been nice to see Ray Daley get to do a series of his own, but it wasn't to be.
The Sweeney: Taste of Fear (1976)
The best ever Sweeney episode?
Another series 3 banger,'Taste Of Fear' combines two pretty good story lines to make one hell of a good episode. In story one, a pair of army deserters are responsible for a spate of armed robberies on the local manor. The leader, Tim Cook is a sadistic thug with a violent hatred of Micks; his accomplice is younger and prettier, and their relationship is left ambiguous.
In story two, a cricket playing, blazer wearing career copper joins the flying squad on Frank Haskins' recommendation, but Regan sees right through his bluff from the start - new boy Hargreaves is the kind of guy who relishes roughing up a harmless old codger for some info, but completely loses his bottle when confronted by real hard nuts. Matters come to a head when the squad is dispatched to take the tooled-up pair of desperadoes dead or alive.
I think 'Taste Of Fear' is a strong contender for being the best Sweeney episode; it's tough, gritty, and well paced with some great action & dialogue, and the chemistry between John Thaw and Dennis Waterman in this one is magic. The characters are well thought out too; Tim Cook is no comic book nutcase, but a real person with a real back-story which lets the viewer understand why he is the way he is, while we can see why Hargreaves, with his pushy wife and her high court judge 'daddy' so desperately needs to climb the greasy pole.
Minder: All Things Brighton Beautiful (1994)
Brighton schlock.
Generally i'm quite fond of the Ray Daley era, but i think this was one of several clangers they dropped in the final series. From what i can glean from the rather convoluted plot, a Jewish friend of Arthur who's terminally ill has arranged for some local nutter to top him as part of an insurance scam, but then changes his mind when he discovers he's not dying after all; the problem is he can't find the loon who was going to perform the dreadful deed, and needs Arthur to spirit him away to a safe hiding place until the said individual can be found. In his infinite wisdom, Arthur decides that taking a caravan trip to Brighton would the best thing for them to do.
Besides a confusing plot (which also includes a psychotic villain who finds religion), i've got several issues with 'Brighton Beautiful' such as the force fed comedy which borders on farce, some pretty hammy acting, and a completely ott skinhead character. The ending was a bit bemusing, to put it kindly.
Billed as the 100th episode, 'All Things Brighton Beautiful' should've been a showcase of all that's good about Minder, but instead only helped to hasten its demise.
The Sweeney: Faces (1975)
"Ok Sweeeeney!"
The kind of tough, gritty episode that helped make The Sweeney both a ratings and critical success, whereby a radical terrorist cell led by 'The German' is using British mercenaries to stage blags in order to raise funds for the cause. This storyline was very topical in 1975, with Bader Meinhoff and the Red Brigade causing havoc across Europe, and as with our fictional gang, it seemed only the ringleaders were true believers while the rest were in it for the money.
Colin Welland undoubtedly steals the show, and the scene with him brandishing a knife in a junk shop is a highlight of the episode; he also gets the best line after an ex IRA man tells him that they probably fought each other in Belfast. Another good character is the pompous MI5 man who treats Carter with amusing condescension, and then memorably riles Jack Regan into calling him an expletive. The showdown takes place at a deserted refinery beside a railway line (eagle-eyed train buffs might spot the Western) and marks the final appearance of Jimmy Thorpe - from now on the show would focus almost entirely on Regan & Carter rather than the squad as a whole.
A cracking good Sweeney episode, which along with other belters like 'Poppy' and 'Stay Lucky' made the second series arguably the best.
Upstairs, Downstairs: Whither Shall I Wander? (1975)
A true classic bows out with epic dignity.
'Whither Shall I Wonder' was the template for many a series finale with its wonderful evoking of the end of an era, the sad parting of the ways, and finally a spot of reminiscing about a past that can never return.
It's Summer 1930 and the times are a changing under a new socialist government, and the days of large upper class households with lots of servants are in rapid decline. The Bellamys are not immune to this and are still reeling with shock at the tragic loss of James, while Georgina awaits the return of her fiance Lord Stockbridge, and unsurprisingly, the servants are feeling rather uneasy about their futures.
There are some genuinely touching moments, like Lady Bellamy telling Rose that she'd become one of the family, and Hudson presenting Edward with his pantry book, and it was nice to see aunt Prue return for the wedding. The final scene where Rose wanders from room to room in a now empty 165 Eaton Place provided a fitting end to this much loved classic.
It Ain't Half Hot Mum: The Last Roll Call (1981)
It was worth the wait.
It's 1945, the war has ended, and the acting troupe returns home for demobbing, but far from being feted as heroes they find themselves being treated with sheer indifference by an ungrateful, war weary public, and the harsh reality that they're now just ordinary civvies who'll have to go out and earn a crust like everyone else. Too disillusioned even to settle old scores, the men say their goodbyes and board a train.
As a 15 year old, i saw this episode when it was first broadcast and remember being very touched by it, so much so that i didn't watch it again for fear of feeling disappointed or let down. Having seen it again last night, i now realise i needn't have worried as i enjoyed it just as much as 42 years ago; 'The Last Roll Call' has got to be one of the best, if not the best (along with Upstairs,Downstairs) finales to a long running series for its poignancy and nicely understated pathos. Some wonderful acting here, especially by the late Windsor Davies.
Minder: Another Case of Van Blank (1994)
Allez les booze.
The Ray Daley episodes are often compared unfavourably with the Dennis Waterman ones, but i think this one more than holds its own. With trade having gone quiet at The Winchester, Arthur Daley comes up with an audacious plan to do a booze cruise to Calais, fill up a van with cheap plonk, and save a great wad of cash in the process - sounds fine in theory but things go reels from the start. Along the way Arthur gets into numerous scrapes with the law, HM customs, and a drugs gang, with long suffering Ray and Dave having to bail him out each time.
For me, 'Vin Blank' is definitely a top 10 Ray episode, and it benefits from being away from the local manor for a change. There are some memorable lines and plenty of laughs to be had, like Arthur's contretemps with the gendarmerie, a spot of 'entente cordiale' with a local woman and trying to fob off miniatures of Blackpool tower disguised as the Eiffel tower.
Calais looks quite charming here (it was filmed in 1993); sad to think that this historic little corner of France is now the epicentre of the illegal migrant trade.
Minder: Waiting for Goddard (1985)
Minder showing its age.
After four near perfect series and one very good one, i think the magic was starting to fade in series 6. In this episode the always tricky relationship between Arthur and Terry seems to have hit rock bottom and it makes for pretty uncomfortable viewing. Arthur Daley behaves appallingly in this one, not only in his mean and vindictive manner towards Terry, but also by trying to exploit a vulnerable old man who's been left an inheritance, and even conning dear old Dave; although a bit of a rogue, Arthur had never stooped this low before and it seems oddly out of character. The finale is left open ended; Dennis Waterman did in fact return but it's no secret he'd been wanting to leave the show for some time.
By series 6 Minder was approaching middle age, Terry McCann didn't have much to do anymore, while Chisholm & Rycott were more bumbling and inept than the Keystone cops, a far cry from their early appearances - the balance between drama and comedy that was so good in the first four series was missing, and Minder never quite managed to recapture its former glory.
Minder: All About Scoring, Innit? (1980)
In a league of its own.
Minder did a few football themed episodes but 'All About Scoring Innit?' was without doubt by far the best. Wayward soccer superstar Danny Varrow's appetite for birds, bookies and booze has left him in debt to some very nasty people and he badly needs to sell a scoop to raise the readies. Arthur gets wind of this and naively sees an opportunity of a nice little earner by acting as middle-man, but hasn't reckoned on all the hassle and egos (and not to mention expenses) involved.
There are so many ingredients which go into making this episode a classic, from the real matchday scenes at Stamford Bridge which are brilliantly filmed & edited, to the effortlessly good chemistry between Karl Howman and Dennis Waterman, and some great comedy moments from George Cole; it's clear that everyone was having a blast making this one and it shows.
As with all the very best Minder episodes, 'All About Scoring lnnit?' has a timeless quality, and never fails to entertain the viewer no matter how many times you watch it. A perfect score from me.
The Professionals: When the Heat Cools Off (1978)
The past comes back to haunt Doyle.
This was the second of two very good and suspenseful episodes from the first series where Bodie & Doyle reopen a cold-case from years before, the other being 'Everest Was Also Conquered'.
Doyle is being stalked by the daughter of a man called Haydon whom he helped put away for a 20-stretch for shooting Doyle's then colleague. It transpires that she is convinced her father didn't do it, that they got the wrong man, and pleads with Doyle to help her to prove it. He reluctantly agrees and is highly sceptical at first, but the more he uncovers, the more he starts to believe her.
As in the Everest episode Bodie & Doyle use brain rather than brawn, and for a change the car chases, shoot outs, and punch ups are kept to a minimum. The way Doyle finally cracks the case, following a clever twist is very well done.
Martin Shaw has long criticised The Professionals for being too gung ho, but i'm sure if he took the time to watch these two episodes again he'd be pleasantly suprised.
Minder: If Money Be the Food of Love, Play On (1984)
Col & Ray's antipodean cousins are in town.
This Minder story must've drawn some inspiration from the Sweeney episode 'Golden Fleece', and it's equally good fun. A mystery Australian woman turns up at the Winchester out of the blue, and asks Arthur Daley if he can put her in touch with a long lost mutual friend of theirs called Gary Mitchell; seeing as she's only too willing to buy his bent gear Arthur is happy to oblige, but remains unaware of her true motives for finding her 'darling Gary.'
There's lots going for this episode, including a great cast of characters with names like Mournful and Carp; a neat twist in the plot, location filming around old London pubs during a heatwave, and Arthur's hilariously ropey recollection of the "Yarrow marches".
By now Minder was going from strength to
strength, and its hard to recall a single weak episode from the first four series.
Hazell (1978)
Hazell was the nuts.
Run-down 1970s Britain proved to be a fertile backdrop for truly memorable light drama such as Budgie, The Sweeney, & Minder, and i reckon Hazell was just about as good.
James Hazell is an ex copper who left the force under a cloud, and is now working as an enquiry agent; he's a cockney charmer with an eye for the ladies, and no case is too hard as long as the money's right. His work takes him around some of the seediest, and in some cases, swankiest parts of London, and as with The Sweeney, the location work and cockney banter are a big part of the attraction of this great show.
Nicholas Ball was initially considered too young for the role, but i'm really glad he eventually got it because he absolutely nailed the part and made it his own. I particularly enjoyed the first series, which featured some great banter with one of the show's best characters Dot Wilmington. Other regulars were his cousin Tel, and his nemesis 'Choc' Minty.
Hazell ran for only two series, and in a way i'm glad, as too many good shows outstay their welcome and grow tired and flabby.
On a final note, it's sad to think that ITV, the channel that gave us Callan, Public Eye and all the aforementioned classics is now best known for making mindless drek like Love Island and Keith Lemon.
Secret Army (1977)
Brilliant war drama from tv's golden age.
The 1970s was a wonderful time for British tv, and for classic WW2 dramas like Colditz and Enemy At The Door, but for me Secret Army was the best of the lot. Although most of the episodes were fairly generic (Lifeline locates shot-down airmen, hides them from the Germans and smuggles them back to Britain) what really impressed me besides the excellent writing and acting, was the nuanced way in which the leading characters were portrayed.
For instance, we see Kessler on the one hand ordering the illegal torture of prisoners and pledging undying loyalty to The Fuhrer, and on the other treating his Belgian lover with kindness and respect. Also, our hero Albert Foiret is shown displaying great courage in adversity, while making no secret of the fact that he's partly doing it for the money and that the Candide restaurant comes first. Secret Army also highlights the divisions between the Luftwaffe and SS nazis, and between the Communists and Lifeline - it's subtle things like these that you don't see enough in tv drama anymore, where everything tends to be reduced to predictable stereotypes.
Although an undoubted classic, Secret Army wasn't always taken as seriously as it deserved, and this could be down to being mercilessly lampooned by 'Allo Allo', a popular though largely unfunny and best forgotten relic of 80s sitcom mediocrity.
Minder: Come in T-64, Your Time Is Ticking Away (1979)
Classic late 70s time capsule.
Yet another great episode from series one, Come In T64 features some run-down locations of late '70s London and stars Alfred Burke, best known for the classic tv series Public Eye.
Someone is trying to nobble Arthur Daley's taxi firm 'Candy cabs'; at first it appears to be the mindless handywork of two young hooligans, but as Terry and Arthur continue their investigations they begin to suspect that the real culprit lies closer to home.
The first 2 or 3 series of Minder had a more authentic feel, and some of the streets featured here seem to have hardly changed since WW2. We also see the first appearance of Debbie the stripper, and the second by Des who provides most of the laughs in this one - its a shame these two didn't do many more as i think they were probably Minder's best supporting cast.
Minder: Why Pay Tax (1982)
A tale of two bookies.
Whilst having a flutter on the dogs Terry befriends a widowed bookmaker called Dolly Warner; she's a very smart lady who doesn't suffer fools gladly, and for once Terry seems serious about forming a relationship. Meanwhile Arthur has got Terry minding a bookie friend of his own called Barry Duncan who turns out to be a wrong 'un - this man reneges on his debts - in what turns out to be a classic case of Arthur dropping Terry right in it.
When a creditor of Barry's threatens to start breaking limbs, Barry being the creep that he is, tries to manipulate Terry's friendship with Dolly in order to get the money he owes. In an enjoyable sub plot, Arthur Daley is dabbling in the antique fireplace market, but pays the price for not knowing his genuine Adam from a hole in the ground.
One of my favourite episodes this; Michael Medwin and Nigel Davenport are always a treat to watch, Kika Markham really shines as the bookie with a heart, and Dennis Waterman gives one of his best purely straight acting performances on the show.
Minder: Dreamhouse (1982)
Minder's marmite episode.
A lot of Minder fans are quite down on "Dreamhouse" due to its rambling, incoherent plot, but i've always had a soft spot for it and think that the programme makers should be commended for trying something different - Minder can't always be about pubs, punch ups and dodgy motors.
Terry McCann is hired to mind a washed up old rocker's house in the country for a few days, but what Tel thinks will be a nice, cushy holiday turns out to be anything but. The best bits are the scenes where Terry and Derek Farrow (Richard Griffiths) are having their frequent differences of opinion; these usually involve broken glass, flying or floating furniture, some very colourful dialogue and a wonderfully impromptu moment with a cork. In a separate plot Arthur is on the wrong end of a con for a change, and the sight of Benedict Cumberbatch's mum swallowing asparagus shoots whole makes him quite perturbed.
Dreamhouse should be enjoyed for what it is; a more experimental, letting the cameras roll and see what happens kind of vibe, and for the most part i think it comes off pretty well.
Minder: Another Bride, Another Groom (1982)
Just about perfect.
I always liked early Minder the most; the first three series were made pre the Falklands War and Yuppies, when you still had one pound notes, ice cream vans, and only three channels on telly.
Series 3 is the gift that keeps on giving - almost every episode a gem - and this one is positively bursting with delights including a classic George Cole drunk scene, Arthur and Terry finding a novel way to shift "Swedish literature", Warren Clarke as a bent copper, a wedding that descends into chaos, and the obligatory Terry punch up. The freeze framing of Arthur Daley is the perfect ending to a just about perfect episode, which had even the late, great Clive James singing its praises.
Play Dirty (1969)
With friends like these, who needs enemies ?
While 'Play Dirty' has some similarities with 'Ice Cold In Alex' and 'Sea Of Sand', it replaces all the gallantry and stiff-upper-lip with cold cynicism, and contains a couple of plot twists which show the British army in an unflattering light. Michael Caine's Capt. Douglas is about the only decent person in a film which portrays Brig. Blore as a devious liar, Capt. Leech as someone who'd sell his own granny, and the criminals-turned-mercenaries as cannon fodder for Col. Masters' latest suicide mission, not that they'd be missed. Capt Douglas is sent among this little lot, like a lamb to the slaughter, in order to lead them on a daring desert raid, but pretty soon he can't tell whether the Germans or his own men pose the bigger threat. So mistrusting is he of Leech, he asks him how the previous officers really died; "unexpectedly" comes the reply.
Despite its cynical tone i found plenty to enjoy in this film, especially the dry gallows humour - Douglas: "Why did you have to kill them ?" Leech: "I didn't like the tea." I also like the use of original WW2 songs instead of the usual bombastic orchestral score.
Fittingly this brutal film ends with a brutal twist; Play Dirty may not be a patriotic, flag waving epic like Battle Of Britain (it was made during the height of Vietnam), or even one of Michael Caine's best, but it's still a cut above most of the generic, run of the mill war films i've seen.
Public Eye: The Bankrupt (1972)
A boring subject made for great tv.
The points and procedures of the bankruptcy courts isn't a subject one normally associates with entertaining tv, yet i found this a thoroughly engrossing episode. Hayden-Peters, a rather smarmy city type, has swindled a friend of Frank Marker out of a lot of money, and is now trying to pull a fast one on the receivers. Ray Barrett who excelled at playing rather oily villains, also excels here and it's great fun to watch his arrogance and crafty subterfuge slowly unravel and then finally crumble thanks to Marker's forensic detective work.
Like most episodes of Public Eye (and unlike most of today's drama alas), The Bankrupt is leisurely paced, but cleverly written, and requires a modicum of intelligence to really appreciate its quality.
Public Eye: Fit of Conscience (1975)
A warning from 46 years ago.
A sombre but superb episode which deals with the tragic consequences of greed and corruption by faceless bureaucrats which contributed to disasters like Grenfell and Ronan Point. Fit Of Conscience is an extremely well written story with some nicely understated performances by a group of relatively unkown actors, and typical of the downbeat, unfussy style that made Public Eye the classic it is.
Minder: The Bounty Hunter (1979)
The birth of a legend.
This was the leaner, meaner version of Minder before it went all "Carry On Arthur" and Dennis Waterman got sidelined. In fact Terry McCann has got plenty to do in this episode, mainly playing detective as he pursues a timeshare conman who's swindled one of Arthur's friends out of her savings.
It was a real coup to get Derek Jacobi on board, and the brilliant acting and dialogue in his scenes with Dennis Waterman was the kind of top notch drama that the later series lacked. The Bounty Hunter also introduces probably my favourite supporting character Des the mechanic (George Layton); Des pulls more strokes than the boat race, and butter wouldn't melt in his mouth as he's pleading "Terry i swear i didn't know it was a ringer!" Also notice George Cole's posh accent in this one; The Bounty Hunter was the very first Minder episode to be made.