TEST OF OBJECT RELATIONS
(TOR)
© GREGOR ZVELC, 2000
The scale can be used freely for clinical and research purposes. If you would like to do a
translation in another language, please write to us: gregor.zvelc@guest.arnes
INSTRUCTIONS:
Please read each of the statements carefully. Circle the number next to the statement that marks
the extent to which the statement is true of you.
The numbers mean:
1 - COMPLETELY DISAGREE
2 - MOSTLY DISAGREE
3 - PARTLY AGREE/PARTLY DISAGREE
4 - MOSTLY AGREE
5 - COMPLETELY AGREE
Circle only one answer for each statement. There are no right or wrong answers. Please mark all
the statements.
1. If the person I love left me, my life wouldn't have any meaning any 1 2 3 4 5
more.
2. I admire myself very much. 1 2 3 4 5
3. I don't have any good friends. 1 2 3 4 5
4. The person I love and myself understand each other even without 1 2 3 4 5
speaking.
5. I have the feeling that nobody likes me. 1 2 3 4 5
6. I am very good and kind to people as long as they are of some use to 1 2 3 4 5
me.
7. Contacts with other people are not important to me. 1 2 3 4 5
8. I like doing things that are dangerous. 1 2 3 4 5
9. I usually do the opposite of what others expect of me. 1 2 3 4 5
10. In a relationship I expect my partner to always accommodate me. 1 2 3 4 5
11. I don't want to have a permanent partner because that would take 1 2 3 4 5
away my freedom.
12. If other people don't behave as I want them to, I get very upset 1 2 3 4 5
11. I am distressed if I have to take leave of a person who I feel close to, 1 2 3 4 5
even if only for a short time.
14. I find it difficult to distinguish between my wishes and the wishes 1 2 3 4 5
of a person I am very attached to.
15. I am being frank in answering the questions in this questionnaire. 1 2 3 4 5
16. If I am on a short trip, I phone the people I am close to almost 1 2 3 4 5
every day.
17. I am a closed person. 1 2 3 4 5
18. Sometimes in relationships with others I begin to lose my sense of self. 1 2 3 4 5
19. I sometimes oppose others just to prove that they have no power 1 2 3 4 5
over me.
20. I need another person to feel whole. 1 2 3 4 5
21. I am going to achieve more in life than other people. 1 2 3 4 5
22. 'Average' people are uninteresting to me. 1 2 3 4 5
23. I refuse to become attached to other people because I don't want to 1 2 3 4 5
lose my freedom.
24. If I go on a trip, I am afraid that doing so I will hurt those 1 2 3 4 5
who are close to me.
25. Sometimes I manipulate other people. 1 2 3 4 5
26. I am not close to anyone. 1 2 3 4 5
27. I have a toy or an object from my childhood that I am very attached to. 1 2 3 4 5
1 - Completely 2 - Mostly 3 – Partly agree/ 4 - Mostly 5 - Completely
disagree disagree partly disagree agree agree
28. Some people fascinate me so much I can't stop thinking about them. 1 2 3 4 5
29. Other people are fascinated by me. 1 2 3 4 5
30. I feel bad if the person I love does something that goes 1 2 3 4 5
against my wishes.
31. I feel threatened when another person tries to establish a more 1 2 3 4 5
intimate relationship with me.
32. When I am in a relationship, I want to control my partner. 1 2 3 4 5
33. I want to merge into ONE with the person I love. 1 2 3 4 5
34. I am better looking than other people. 1 2 3 4 5
35 I don't need other people. 1 2 3 4 5
36. I am worth more than other people. 1 2 3 4 5
37. I would like to always live with my parents. 1 2 3 4 5
38. If the person I love feels bad, I begin to feel bad too. 1 2 3 4 5
39. Sometimes I am afraid of another person getting too close to me. 1 2 3 4 5
40. I feel bad if the person I love leaves me by myself 1 2 3 4 5
41. I have visited all the countries of the world. 1 2 3 4 5
42. The most important thing in love is that my partner is always 1 2 3 4 5
available to me.
43. Sometimes I claim rights for myself that I am not willing to grant to 1 2 3 4 5
others.
44. I have never fallen in love. 1 2 3 4 5
45. Sometimes I feel as if I am almighty. 1 2 3 4 5
46. I am intimidated by people who want to become emotionally close to 1 2 3 4 5
me.
47. I find it difficult to accept that there are not only things in common, 1 2 3 4 5
but also differences between myself and the person I love.
48. My relationships are brief with no strings attached. 1 2 3 4 5
49. I feel that there is a barrier between myself and other people. 1 2 3 4 5
50. I often think of the danger of losing the person I feel very close to. 1 2 3 4 5
51. I can't rely on anyone but myself. 1 2 3 4 5
52. It is difficult for me to cope with every separation from 1 2 3 4 5
the person I love.
53. Sometimes I feel so strong that I think nothing bad can happen to me. 1 2 3 4 5
54. Sometimes I fear that another person will get overly attached to me. 1 2 3 4 5
55. Sometimes I feel so close to another person that I no longer 1 2 3 4 5
know who I am.
56. When a relationship with another person involves too much 1 2 3 4 5
commitment, I withdraw.
57. I have a special power that other people don't possess. 1 2 3 4 5
58. Sometimes something unpleasant happens to me. 1 2 3 4 5
59. I cannot become attached to anyone. 1 2 3 4 5
60. Some people really impose themselves on me. 1 2 3 4 5
61. I would like to become famous. 1 2 3 4 5
62. I am mistrustful towards other people. 1 2 3 4 5
63. I have no one in my life on whom I can rely in difficult moments. 1 2 3 4 5
1 - Completely 2 - Mostly 3 – Partly agree/ 4 - Mostly 5 - Completely
disagree disagree partly disagree agree agree
64. If I get too close to another person, I become afraid of losing myself. 1 2 3 4 5
65. If the person I am very attached to has to leave for a while, 1 2 3 4 5
I take an object belonging to him/her to feel better.
66. When I am with the person I feel close to, I can read his/her mind. 1 2 3 4 5
67. Sometimes I fear that one of the people I am close to might die. 1 2 3 4 5
68. Other people seem so distant from me. 1 2 3 4 5
69. If the person I love tries to do something I disagree with, 1 2 3 4 5
I try to stop him / her.
70. In the past week I have had at least one beverage to drink. 1 2 3 4 5
71. The person I feel close to has the same opinions as I do. 1 2 3 4 5
72. I want to be perfect. 1 2 3 4 5
73. In a relationship, I try to chain the partner to myself. 1 2 3 4 5
74. I would like to escape from a relationship that is becoming 1 2 3 4 5
more and more intimate.
75. I don't have a lot of contacts with people. 1 2 3 4 5
76. When I go to bed at night, I want to have something with me 1 2 3 4 5
to protect me.
77. I believe I am truly special. 1 2 3 4 5
78. When I’m in a relationship, I feel trapped. 1 2 3 4 5
79. When I go on a trip, I miss my family a lot. 1 2 3 4 5
80. Sometimes I break all rules to achieve what I want. 1 2 3 4 5
81. I have told at least one lie in my life. 1 2 3 4 5
82. I experience the person I love as a part of myself. 1 2 3 4 5
83. Sometimes I expect other people to know what I need 1 2 3 4 5
without me telling them.
84. I want other people to be the way I want them to be. 1 2 3 4 5
85. I am alienated from other people. 1 2 3 4 5
86. Being alone causes me to feel despair. 1 2 3 4 5
87. When a person no longer gives me what I need, he or she no longer 1 2 3 4 5
interests me.
88. In a relationship, I do not allow my partner the things I allow myself. 1 2 3 4 5
89. I believe I was born to do great things. 1 2 3 4 5
90. In a relationship I become very angry when my partner 1 2 3 4 5
doesn't act as I want him / her to.
91. When I am in the company of others, I want to be the center of 1 2 3 4 5
attention.
92. Sometimes I behave in the same way as the person I like. 1 2 3 4 5
93. In relationships I am afraid of losing my independence. 1 2 3 4 5
94. I often feel as if though there is no clear boundary between me 1 2 3 4 5
and other people.
95. I sometimes use other people to get what I want. 1 2 3 4 5
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR COOPERATION!
