Love lost

Introduction...

"Alright everyone, pens down."

I let out a huge sigh. My last exam. I tear out my papers and staple my papers
together. Im so happy. Im finally a matriculant, well thats if I pass but Im
guaranteed to. Im first in my grade and I study tirelessly so I have to pass. I get
out of the hall and go outside to go home. Its past 11 so I walk out.
Mfundo: Haibo qobokazana sowugoduka? Awuzi kwipens down?
I laugh and shake my head.
Mfundo has been wanting me since grade 8 and Ive been rejecting him since.
Honestly when will he take the hint? I walk to the taxi rank behind spar and catch
a taxi to Whittlesea. From there, i catch another one to Sada, eMadakeni.

Oh how rude of me! Im blabbing on without introducing myself.

Hi, Im Thandokazi Nqumbo from eMadakeni, eSada, Eastern Cape. I live with my
mother,Thandiwe, and I attend school at Hexagon High. Ive just written my last
exam today in Grade 12 and next year I plan to attend at WSU in Whittlesea. Im
so excited to be finally done with school cause now I can concentrate on mother.
Shes unwell lately but she pretends that she is and ke mna I dont want to make a
fuss of nothing. My dad? He passed away 2 years ago and left me and my mother
R10 000 to live on. His kids from his previous marriage? He left them close to
R800 000. But thats none of my business. Anyway back to the now...

I get home, wash my uniform and start on supper. I go to moms room, shes not
here. Probably working the late shift. I go to her wardrobe and take out my
phone. Its a Samsung A2. Malume got it for me beginning of this year to motivate
me to study harder and also for being a good daughter. Anyway i switch it on and
look for my earphones. I plug them in and play some music. I start dancing around
the house while I clean.
My home is a 2 bedroomed house with a kitchen, bathroom and lounge. Im an
only child so I have my own room, which I sometimes share with my cousin when
she comes over for weekends. Shes 20 and studying at Wsu which is why I want to
study there too.

Theres a soft tap on my shoulder and I turn to see my mom smiling behind me. I
take my earphones out which are on full blast
Me: Hi lover
She laughs
Her: My baby. Unjani? Belinjan iphepha?
Me: Arg!!! Belinzima kodwa ndilizamile mama. Accounting inzima nawe uyayazi.
Hewethu mntwam, ndizifumene iforms zaseStandard Bank. So holiday job
ndiyibambile.
Mama shakes her head no.
Me: Haibo ma?
Her: No baby. Awuzuphangela kule iholiday.
Me: Ngoba?
She sighs and walks away. Im not going to pester her about her decision. My mom
may be my best friend, but I still respect her as my mother. She works at Spar in
Whittlesea and sometimes comes home late especially on the first.

Anyway, I finish up cleaning and go fetch my uniform from the line. I go back in
and moms seated on the couch watching tv.
Me: Ndiphake?
Her: Please.
I dish up for me and her. Makazi and Malume knock and I dish for them too. Mom
did say they'll be coming today. We chat, mostly about school and I clear
everyones plates and take them to the kitchen.
Mama: Thando yiza ziyeke izitya.
She shouts from the lounge. I leave the dishes and go sit with them. Mama has
tears in her eyes and Makazi is looking down.
Malume: Thandolwam ntombi. Akhondlela ilula yokuxelela lento. Kodwa
ngomgqibelo, abakhozi bazazokulanda.
Me: Abakhozi?
Malume: Ewe ntombaam. Uyatshata
I keep quiet. Im too numb to speak.
Me:( whispering) ngoba?
Malume: Mntanam, senzela wena lento.
Me: Mama awusandifun?
Mama just cries so hard and Makazi comforts her.
I am furious I get up and go to my room and just cry on my bed.

I guess I mustve fallen asleep because Im woken up by my alarm at 6. I wake up

and go pee.
I hear mamas door open and she comes out. Her eyes are puffy abd red
Her: Thandolwam?
Me: Ma?
Her: Im sorry
Me: Why? This time please be open. Im not a child anymore mama.
Her: Come. Sothetha ekameren yam.
I finish up in the bathroom and go to her room. I get inside the bed and face her.
Her: Thando, Im unwell. I have cancer. Mine is bone marrow and lung. Ive been
going to the doctors to get help but nana the doctors are highly sceptical. Its
spread all over my body and worsened in my lungs baby. Im...
I just let out a huge sob. How could I not notice. I look at her and realise shes so
skinny. I thought it was stress or she was still mourning my fathers death. I move
closer to her and just cry in her arms. Why her?
Me: Im so sorry mama.
She wipes my tears away and holds me.
Me: Is that why you marrying me off?
Her: Baby, I want you to be taken care of. Had I not been like this,you know Id
never do this. But because of the situation, I must do what needs to be done.
I open my mouth but she raises her hand, indicating shes not done so I shut my
mouth.
Her: I know you'll say you can take care of yourself, but honey, impilo inzima. I
want you to get quality education and become somebody. I know being
someones wife wont be ideal but atleast youll go to the university of your choice
and study. Something that I cannot give you. My time is almost up and I need you
to be strong. I know you can do it my angel.
I smile and nod.

We spend the morning together, talking about each other and she tells me all the
things that will be required of me as a wife. Its mostly all the things I do apha
endlin so it wont be too hard. Its a Thursday so she has to go to work later on. I
have a huge lump in my throat and as soon as mother leaves, I lock up and cry.
Not because Im getting married in a two days, but because my mother is battling
cancer on her own. That just tears my heart further and makes me cry harder.

£ 01
I gather myself up, wash my face and get the pots ready. Theres a knock on the
door and its makazi. I open up for her and she walks in holding plastic.
Her: Mariri. Phanoza. Mangxiza kaMakazi.
She pinches my cheek and pecks my lips. Yho makazi likes talking to me like a
baby everytime she sees me. Shes barren umakazi so she treats me like Im her
own. Her name is Thandiswa Qumbu, shes moms younger sister who stays
eDongwe. Shes 34, unmarried and works at Standard Bank. She loves me to death
and spoils me every chance she gets. Shes a very beautiful woman with green
eyes and long hair and a caramel skin tone. Makazi has that gorgeous hour-glass
figure. She was married 10 years ago but her then husband used to abuse her and
ended up marrying another woman and having kids with her. So Makazi filed for
divorce and left.

Me: Molo Maki wam.

She smiles at me and puts the plastics on the couch. Shes not her bubbly self
anymore. She comes to me and hugs me. She breaks down and cries on my
shoulder. I follow and cry on hers. She pulls away and wipes my tears.
Her: Uxolo Thando. If I could, I would take you in but umamakho is adament in
her decision. Yhini usana lwam
Tears just roll down her eyes.
Me: Its okay makazi but promise me one thing?
Her: Anything.
Me: You'll be there when I need you most.
Her: Oko mntanam oko!!
She hugs me again and kisses me cheek. She wipes my tears with her thumbs and
gives me a reassuring smile even though her eyes tell a different story. She sighs
and turns to the couch.
Her: Ndikuthengele impahla zobuKoti vha? Try them on.
I take the two plastics from her and go try the attire on. It doesnt look right but
ke, ndazini?
I walk out and she smiles.
Her: Awumhle. How do they feel?
Me: Weird.
She gets up and fixes me. She ties the black doek properly, places the towel nicely
over my shoulder and fixes the scarf around my waist.
Her: Heke! You'll make a beautiful bride. Especially with those eyes, smile and
dimples. Rha! Uzonyisa.
I laugh so hard. Makazi has a way of brightening up my day without even trying.

In mothers room, I go to the full length mirror and look at myself. My eyes are this
dark, magical green that turn light brown when Im mad. My skin tone is a light
caramel and on my left cheek is a deep dimple. My hair is a black, soft afro that is
big, my breasts are a firm C-cup and my legs have a slight thigh gap. My bum is
rounded and sort of big, for my body with small hips to accompany that. My belly
is flat and my feet are a size 4. I draw in a breath when I look into the mirror, I
look older and unlike myself at all. I sigh and go back to the lounge. I just feel so
sad right now.
Maki: Come sit next to me.
I go sit next to her.
Her: Baby, your mother is doing what she thinks is best for you. Dont shut her out
please. You know how much she loves you and this is tearing her apart but shes
putting up a brave face for you. Its not easy on all of us and we wish imeko was
different. Please try baby, what if its not so bad after all.
What if he loves you and you love him too? Just think of all the positive outcome
that may come of this marriage.

I sigh and nod.

Me: Do you know him?
She nods.
Her: His name is Melisizwe Mvelase. Hes from Cape Town. He owns a number of
businesses in construction and has farms too. Hes 30 years old.
I gasp
Me: Yhuuuu!!!!! Then why does he want to marry a teenage? Is he one of those ' I
want a virgin' type guy? How fucken creepy!
Makazi laughs so hard!
Her: Hayi Thando! Nam andazi but mmmm mhle umfana vha? Uyanyisa. Mmm
uba he wanted an older woman ngekudala ndamxhumelayo!
I laugh too
Me: Hayi wethu. So why isnt he married ke?
Makazi shrugs.
Her: Andazi. But kodwa he'll be getting a damn good wife. Promise me you wont
hesitate to call me if he treats you badly?
Me: I promise.
Her: Ungathuli Thando unyamezele amasimba uyevha? Akubethe nje
ndizokulanda!
I laugh and nod. I get up and change back into my tracksuit and tank top. I go back
to the lounge and she gives me the other two plastics. One is filled with lacy, sexy
lingerie and padded bras.
Me: And then?
Her: Hayi kaloku umdala ngoku so you have to look and feel the part. No more
childish underwear and granny panties. Rha! Anyway, we have important things
to discuss before umamakho afike.
I nod and excuse myself to check on my pots. I switch them off, make tea for
Makazi and go to the lounge. She thanks me and sips on it.
Her: I want to talk about sex.
I cough.
Me: Huh?
Her: Ewe. Mamela ke, ngomso sizoya eclinic uyocwangcisa ukwazi ungameethi.
The first time its going to be painful. A lot. And you will bleed, not a lot. Just a
little. But after the first two times, its going to be amazing. You must learn to
pleasure your man and suck him.
My eyes widen and she bursts out laughing.
Her: Ewe man!
Me: Sies makazi. No.
Her: Hehake! Hes going to pleasure you nawe you must learn to pleasure him too.
Its not hard. Its like umunca istockie wethu.
I close my ears and shake my head. I raise my hand to stop her
Me: Makazi I know how to give a blow job pheza.
Her eyes widen and she hits me on my arm. She screams in laughter and throws
her head back.
Her: Haibo since when?
Me: Grade 10. Even though Ive never been penetrated Ive had oral sex wethu. So
dont worry about that department.
Shes screaming and laughing.
Her: Thando!!!! Awumdala girl.
I nod and look down smiling. Im so embarrassed.
Her: Hayi dont be shy thats good. So ke youre set. Why didnt you tell me?
Me: Bendisoyika tshn!
She laughs and shakes her head. We sit and chat nje and she says shes sleeping
over which is no problem.

Mom comes back with braaied meat from eSimunye which we eat nomngqusho I
cooked in the afternoon. We chat and eat and laugh. Its so special and precious.
After Im done washing dishes, mom calls me to the lounge and I sit.
Her: Nana, abakwaMvelase batshintshe ingqondo. Bayeza ngomso late.
I look at her shocked!
Me: Haibo Mama?
Her: Baby Im sorry.
Me: Do you want to get rid of me so quickly?
Mama: No baby! Its what was in the contract!
Me: Contract? What contract?
Mama what are you not telling me?
She holds her mouth and shakes her head. Makazi stands up and comes over to
her and comforts her.
Me: Mama!!!! Thandiwe! Ndixelele.
Mama: Thando Im not supposed to tell you but when you were born, you weren't
breathing properly and we didnt have the funds to take care of you. Dr Mvelase
took you to the best hospitals and in turn your father promised him your hand in
marriage to his youngest son. In the contracts it stipulates that after you are done
with exams, two days later you shall be taken by them and they have to take you
to the best university money can buy/ of your choosing.
Im speechless. Infact, numb. Im so tired of mothers secrets that its draining me.
Andingumntu uthanda nolila so I just nod, say goodnight and lock myself in my
room. I just get into bed and try to sleep. This is all just too much for me.

£ 02
I wake up early the next day and clean the house and do laundry. I bath, wear my
shorts and camisole and pumps. I comb my hair and tie it. Its past 8 when Im done
and I take a taxi to W/sea. I walk to Nelson Mjuza clinic and luckily its not full yet. I
make my way to get the 3 month contraceptive. The nurse explains but it falls on
deaf ears. My mind isnt here but at the situation at hand. She injects me and gives
me a booklet which states the name of the injection and when I should go again. I
thank her and leave. I go to the salon which is empty and relax my long hair. They
always charge me R5 extra because my hair is so long. Usually I argue and win but
today Im just not in the mood. I pay and leave. I catch a full taxi back home at past
11. I get home. As soon as I open the door, Im met by a warm hug and tears. Its
my mom and aunt.

Them: Uvelaphi?
Makazi: Yeeeer ungumnqundu suka!!!
I laugh so hard. Haw uMaki.
Me: Ndivel eVetlis(thats Whittlesea). Bendiyocwangcisa and ndokwenza nentloko.
Mama: Haibo uyacwangcisa?
Me: Ewe bendiqala ke phof.
Mama: Oh sana lwam! Youre so grown. Jonga ke hambo chincha sizohamba siye
etown siyothenga into zothambisa xa uhamba.
I smile at both of these ladies and go to my room. My bags are already packed
and theres an outfit already laid on my bed. Its navy ripped jeans, white chucks
and this nice white off shoulder top. Its really pretty. There are loop earrings on
the bed too and a jean jacket. I get dressed quickly and grab my brown bag and
go.

We get to town and walk to the mall. Mama buys me toiletries and this really
expensive perfume from Edgars. It smells really nice. I love it. Makazi buys me 2
dressed from Foschini. They're both off shoulder maxi dresses that are body
huggers and sandals. We then go to Spur and eat and chat. Mama gives me a
bank card, saying she opened my own account it has a few hundreds in it and I
should keep it. Im so happy and excited.
Maki: Nana, you know that siyakuthanda kakhulu nomamakho?
I nod and can feel tears threatening to fall.
Mama: Please mntanam xa upha. Uziphathe kakuhle. Ungasidanisi. Ndiyakwazi
uba asoze uziphoxe noThandiswa. Umthande umyeni wakho naxa sele kubi.
Umkhuthaze and be his shoulder to lean on evha? But at the same time, dont let
him walk all over you. Stand up to him but in a respectful manner avha?
I nod with tears falling down my face. I can see the guy on the table next to us is
concerned but he doesnt move.
Mama: And please nana wam, dont worry about me. Live your life to the fullest.
Thats what I want you to do for me. Be happy and love with all of your heart and
soul. Uyevha?
I nod again. Im unable to speak. The emotions Im going through have locked my
voice and let the tears take its place. Maki comes around and gives me a hug and
kisses my cheek. With her thumbs, she wipes my tears away. Mama brushes my
hand and smiles at me. We finish up and go home.

As soon as we approach the house, there is a white Hilux parked outside my gate.
I sigh and so does mom. We both laugh at how we both sighed at the same time.
We get off and carry the plastics in. The doors of the car open and a tall, dark man
comes out. He goes to the back seat and opens the door. An elder man comes
out. Hes looks old enough to be my father, I hope hes not my soon to be hubby.
Mama: Dr Mvelase.
He smiles broadly at my mother
Him: Molo Thandiwe. Usemhle nangoku. And who is this?
I smile as he looks at me. So he's the dr that saved my life? Hes really cute for an
old guy. Oh shit Im staring. I look at uMakazi whos jaw is practically on the floor. I
nudge her and she shuts her mouth.
Her: Hi.
He smiles and shakes her hand.
Him: And you must be the lovely Thandokazi? Aw waze wamuhle umntu.
Uzokwenza umakoti omhle.
I blush and shake his hand. We walk inside and I pack my toiletries in my bags and
sit on my bed. I walk around my room and open my wardrobe and find some of
my favourite jeans are still here. I wonder whats in the bags then? I browse my
room one last time before Im called over by umama. I go out
Me: Ma?
Her: Time to go baby.
I nod and go fetch my bags. Malume walks in and gives me a huge hug and gives
me another bag which is quite big and a brand new blanket. He wipes a tear and
helps me carry my stuff out. UDaps(my uncles wife. I call her daps) hugs me so
tightly and kisses me all over my face. I giggle
Her: Uziphathe kakuhle. I wish you all the best nana. I love you.
I smile at her and squeeze her hands. Oluhle(my cousin) gives me a wrapped
present and hugs me. Shes crying so much.
Her: Im going to miss you. Ill call you eva?
I smile and nod. Im too much of an emotional wreck to speak.
Mama: See you next weekend. I love you.
Makazi: Nam. Thanda sana lwam.
I hug and kiss both and Malume walks with me to the car where we load my bags.
The driver opens for me and I get in. I wave at everyone and we drive off.

Im quiet the whole way until I eventually fall asleep. Im woken up by a pressing
need to pee. I opeb my eyes and we are nearing Stutterheim. I lightly tap on Dr
Mvelases shoulder, hes on the phone. He excuses himself to whomever hes
talking to and turns to me
Him: Ewe ntombam?
Me: Tata bendizocela ibathroom apha eStutt.
Him: Akho ngxak.
He smiles and I smile back. He continues talking on the phone and i press my
thighs tighter. I really have to go. Yhuuu! We get to Stutt and go to Spar. As Im
about to open, the door locks. Haw!
Dr Mvelase: Promise awuzubaleka?
I laugh so hard that I almost pee myself
Me: Asoze tata. Andinophoxa abazali bam ngelohlobo.
He smiles.
Me: Kodwa ke, if it makes you feel better, ungandikhapha undilinde ngaphandle.
He nods and comes out with me. Im practically running to the bathroom and hes
on my tail. The lady at the bathrooms says its R2 to go in. Fuck, my purse is in the
car. Im bouncing around, fumbling for change in my pockets. Dr Mvelase clears
his throat and gives me the R2. I thank him and smile. As soon as I go in, its flows
like the Niagra falls. That feels damn good I must say. After Im done I wash my
hands with soap and apply a little lip balm on my lips and go out.

Dr Mvelase is still at the door and smiles when he sees me. Infact, he breathes a
sigh of relief but I choose to ignore that.
Him: Are you hungry? Thirsty?
Me: I could do with some water please.
He smiles and nods. We walk side by side inside Spar and I get water. When he
reaches for Doritos on the top shelf, I see a gun at his waist. What the fuck!! I
quickly look away at the chocolates but with the corner of my eye, I see him pull
down his shirt. Was he going to shoot me if I ran?
I slightly start trembling. What kind of a family am I marrying into? My thoughts
are disturbed by him
Dr Mvelase: Would you like some chocolate?
I look at him and nod shyly.
Him: Take. As many as you want.
I giggle and take a Cadbury buscuit. I dont like Lindt chocolate, its too rich for my
palate and Im allergic to nuts so I cant have the Ferrero Rocher.
Mvelase: Is that it?
Me: Ewe tata enkosi.
Him: Awuzutya?
Me: Bendityile phamb kokuba ndize tata
He nods and gets some food for him and his driver. We pay and leave. My mind is
still realing on the gun issue I cant get it out of my mind. I hope I dont get killed.
My phone rings. Its umama.
Me: Hey mom.
Her: Nindawoni nana?
Me: Sigqitha eStutt ngoku. Ingath sibheka ngase Monti.
Her: Oh okay. Utsho xa nifika.
Me: Okay my love.
Her: Love you
Me: Love you most.
Her: Love you mostest. Mwa.
She drops the call and Im left giggling and smiling like an idiot.

While going through my photos, it dawns on me that mama is not going to be

around for long. I hope and pray that uMakazi and Oluhle dont make her feel
alone. My heart just breaks at the thought that I find myself sniffing with tears
rolling down my face. My mother is my whole world, from being my care taker
and provider to my best friend and sister. Mvelase hands me a tissue. Im too
embarrassed to look at him.
Him: Please dont cry. Asizukulimaza. We will take care of you as our own.
I nod and cry softer. I guess Im just overwhelmed by these past few days. From
scholar to marriage. I cant help my tears flowing. I drink some water to calm
myself instead it just makes matters worse that I find myself unable to breathe.
Im gasping for air which seems out of reach. The last thing I remember is
Mvelases shocked expression and then it goes dark.
£ 03
Im woken up by a soft shake and I open my eyes. Brown/hazel eyes are looking at
me. I smile and he helps me up. Dr Mvelase has beautiful eyes, how did I not
notice?
Him: Are you okay?
I nod
Me: Im sorry Dr Mvelase.
He frowns and shakes his head smiling
Him: You are too modest for your own good. Are you experiencing any headache
Me:No Sir
Him: Do you know who you are?
Me: Yes. NdinguThandokazi Nqumbo. The only daughter of Thandiwe and the last
born of Mpumelelo Nqumbo.
He smiles and nods
Him: Do you know where we are?
Me: uhm...
I look around and it seems like we are in King Williams Town.
Me: Looks like King.
He smiles.
Him: Okay youre okay. Ntombi(girl), I know that this is all a bit too much for you
and youre overwhelmed. But I promise that my family and I will take care of you
like our own daughter. Please stop stressing so much
I nod and bow my head. Im too embarrassed to look him in the eye. We are
parked near KFC.
Him: We are buying food, what would you like? And please dont say no, the
journey ahead is still far. Let me feed you.
I giggle.
Mee: Okay. Id like dunked wings and an oreo crusher.
Him: Qha(only)? Are you coming with?
I shake my head no.
Me: If its okay with you, Id like to stay in the car.
He nods and leaves. Im left with the driver. He takes out his phone and calls
someone and I just doze off. Im tired.

When I open my eyes, we are in East London, heading for the airport. Dr Mvelase
is on the phone
Him: You better be home when I arrive tomorrow...
Caller:....
Him: Melisizwe, my word is final.
He drops the call and lets out a sigh. I sit up and drink my water. Mvelase turns his
head
Him: Here is your food makoti.
He hands me the KFC pack and I thank him and look inside. Hes bought me 8
dunked wings and the crusher. Theres also a burger inside but I dont think thats
mine. I eat my wings and drink in silence. My phone buzzes and its Makazi.
Me: My love
Her: My baby. Uphi(where you)?
Me: Looks like East London airport.
Her: Oh?
Me: Yeah. Ill call you xa sesifike endlini(when we arrive at the house)
Her: Okay. Love you.
Me: Love you too. Bye.
She hangs up.

The car comes to a stop and Im done eating. Im quite full yhu.
Mvelase: Masehleni ke.
He opens my door and we get out. He throws away the KFC packet together with
the burger and I grab my purse and follow him. The driver off loads our bags and
we go in. We go to this other side where we walk to the plane. Im too dumbstruck
to speak. Dr Mvelase is holding my hand and we get in the plane. I think my
mouth just drops. Its huge with couches and tables on each side.
Mvelase: Close your mouth, flies will get in.
I laugh and close my mouth
Him: First time on a private plane?
Me: First time on a plane!
He chuckles at the way I say it and the drive comes in a bit later. A lady comes out
and greets us. She offers something to drink and I decline. Mvelase has some
whiskey and the driver has water. The lady buckles me in and leaves. The plane
comes to life and Im petrified. Im holding onto my seat for dear life and I feel
tears on their way. Im shaking profusely and my hands are starting to hurt from
holding the seat so tightly.
Driver: Relax. Just breathe in and out.
I smile at him. He has a really sexy voice and beautiful smile. The beard makes him
even more handsome.
Him: Qondikhaya.
Me: Thandokazi.
He smiles and nods. He lowers his hat over his face and sleeps. I cant sleep. Im too
awake to sleep.
Mvelase: Vuka nontombi sesifikile.
I open my eyes and he flashes his smile at me. I smile back. The lady unbuckles my
belt and I get up. I walk out of the plane, with my purse in hand, and am
welcomed by cold Cape Town air. When I look at my phone, its past 1 the
morning. We get into the car and Qondi loads my luggage in the car. Mvelase
drives us out all the way to his house. Its in the upper east side of Cape Town. As
we drive there, the view of the beach is amazing as it sparkles in the moonlight.
Im speechless. The car stops infront of a huge gate and the gate opens. We are
welcomed by a beautiful double story home with an ivory and gold door.

Dr Mvelase opens up and we go in. He shows me to my room and I open and go

in. The room is huge with a king sized bed. When I walk into the closet, there are
male clothes hanging on the hangers and shoes on the one side. Theres a knock
on my door and Qondi comes in with my luggage. I thank him and open on of the
suitcases. I take out my toiletry bag and pack my toiletries in there. There is a
towel too and my wash cloth. I search for pyjamas and there arent any. Just night
gowns. Very,very sexy ones at that😕. Hmmm... anyway, i pick the grey lacy one
and silk gown. I open another bag and my slippers are in there. I go to the
bathroom which is big too and shower. After my shower, I get dressed and call
mom.
Mama: ( in a sleepy voice)
Hello
Me: Hi mama sesifikile. Sise kapa( We have arrived. We're in Cape Town)
Her: Haibo! Msinya kangaka(so soon)?
Me: Ewe ntombi sihambe ngeplane!(yes girl. We came with the plane)
Her: Haibo! Uthin apha kum?(really)
?: NguThando lowo(Is that Thando)? Uthini(What is she saying)? Baphi(Where are
they)?
Mama: Ewe uthi baseKapa bahambe ngeplane.(she says their in Cape Town. Thy
left with the plane)
Me: Ban lowo?(whos that)
Her: Thandiswa.
Me: Undibulisele. Mandilale sothetha ngomso. Uyathandwa ndim.(Greet her for.
Im going to sleep now. Love you)
Her: Thanda nam nana. Lale kakuhle.( Love you too. Sleep well)
I drop the call and get into bed. I set my alarm on and take out my charger in my
purse and charge my phone.

Im woken up by my alarm and I go shower. After Im done showering, i dont know

what to wear so I call Makazi
Makazi: Baby
Me: Hey. I dont know what to wear. What should I wear?
Her: Wear one of the maxi dresses with a doek and pumps. You nust respect their
home kaloku.
Me: Okay. Thank you.
I drop the call and take out the off shoulder floral maxi dress and pumps. I search
for a doek and i find a purple one. It goes well with my dress and I wear it. I wear
my silver studs and go check myself in the mirror. Not too bad. I make the bed
and go out. I look around for the kitchen and I find it. Theres a lady in her gown
humming and swaying her hips.
Me: Molweni ma(Good morning ma)
She turns and she screams when she sees me. I dont know what to make of this
so I stand there frozen.
Her: Yhuuuu! Awusemhle(Youre so beautiful) izapha(come here).
She comes over and engulfs me in a hugs. She holds my cheeks and tears roll
down her face. Im just staring at her, speechless and motionless.
Her: Oh. Sorry. Im Mrs Mvelase. Your husband to be's mother.
I smile and nod
Me: Im Thandokazi Nqumbo. Your future daughter in law.
Her: Your eyes. Wow!!! And that dimple. Ooo you going to make a lovely bride.
Me: Thank you. Ill try my best.
Her: what are you doing up so early?
Me: Im here to make hreakfast or anything that needs to be done.
She smiles and takes my hand. We make breakfast together while we have a
fruitful chat and laugh.
Her: So youre 18?
Me:Yes ma
Her: done with grade 12?
Me: Yes I hope so. Just waiting for my marks
Her: So what do you want to do next year?
Me: Uhm study to becoming an auditor.
Her: Wow. Have you applied at universities?
Me: Yes ma.
Her: And?
Me: I was accepted at Stellenbosch, Cape Town and Wits. But I dont have the
funds so I was going to attend at WSU in Whittlesea.
Her: mmm.. but now since uSizwe made a deal with your father, he'll pay for your
studies and you can go.
Me: I hope I have good enough marks though.
She smiles and pinches my cheek. She walks out of the kitchen and Im left setting
up at the table.
A young lady wearing pyjamas walks in. Her hair in a doek and her hands fondling
her phone she sees me and freezes
Her: Hi.
Me: Hello.
Her: Thandokazi?
I smile and nod
Her: Suzukiwe.
Me: pleased to meet you.
Her: Like wise. You so pretty.
Me: Thank you. Would you like some food?
She says nothing and just stares at me. I feel so awkward so I just stand there in
silence.
Her: My brother is one lucky motherfucker.
She turns and leaves. Aaaah... that was weird.

£04
Another girl comes downstairs, wearing a big shirt and shorts with sneakers. I
wish I was her. Her hair is tied in a bun
Her: Hey Thando. Im Sazikazi.
I smile and she comes and gives me a hug
Her: you smell so good.
Me: Youre so pretty.
She blushes and giggles. She looks me in my eyes and smiles
Her: Wow! Your eyes are heavenly.
I blush and look away.
She sits and tells me about herself. Shes 16, doing grade 10. She loves drawing
and singing.
Her: Thats pretty much it. You?
Me: Uhm.. well, Im 18. Just finished my matric, Im an ultimate book worm and
thats about it so far.
We both giggle. Dr and Mrs Mvelase come down
Dr: Goodmorning Thando.
Me: Good morning Sir.
I say looking down. The presence of this man makes me all sweaty and fuzzy. I
dont like it. He intimidates me especially now that I know he has a gun. A young
girl comes in too with them
Her: Hello Thando.
Me: Hello.
Seems like everyone already knows me in this house and Im not sure how I feel
about that.
Her: Im Simthandile. And Im 4.
She gives me a hug and I hug her back. Shes so warm.
Her: Youre so pretty.
Me: Just like you.
She giggles and we all go to the table to be seated. Mama is adamant that I sit and
eat. There is conversation around the table, well its mostly Simthandile talking
with her Sizwe.
Sizwe: Love, when are the boys coming?
Her: Lunch time. And no you not going to work my baby.
He pouts. And she kisses him on the lips
Sim: Euw!
Sazi: We have a guest
Suzi: Have some respect for the poor girls eyes!
I just giggle and so does umama.

After breakfast, I clear up and offer to wash dishes. Sazi helps me and Suzi
sweeps. We all clean the house and then we start on lunch. Suzi goes to the
mothers room upstairs and comes back with a card and car keys
Suzi: Lets go pick up the meat and a few things at the mall.
I nod getting up, we walk to the garage. When the door opens, my mouth drops.
So many cars! Theres like 15 if Im not mistaken. Im not a car fanatic so I cant
name them.
Me: Woaw!
Sazi and Suzi laugh.
Suzi opens a big one that looks like a 4x4 and we leave for the mall. The drive is
short to the butchery to pick up meat and then the mall. We go to Checkers to get
wine and snacks. Then wakaberry and get frozen yoghurt. Im not used to it so I
get vanilla and put in a lot of different chocolate pieces and gummy worms. Sim
laughs and gets the same. Shes too cute. Then we go home. Sazi is pestering me
to show her my hair. I take the doek off in the car and she gasps
Her: Azintle(your hair is so beautiful).
I laugh
Me: Mxm hamba!

I fix my hair and go inside. We marinate and spice the meat because the guys are
going to braai. We make salads and set up for the braai. Tata uSizwe tells Suzi to
go pick up beers at the liquor store. When shes gone, i go to my room and freshen
up. The door opens while Im re-doing my doek and a godess of an African brother
walks in. Hes muscular and looks delicious in ripped jeans and a navy tshirt. His
hair is in a nice cut and those lips to die for. I dont look for long.
Him: Oh sorry.
Fuck his voice! A definate panty-dropper. Its nice and deep and I could just get
lost in it.
Me: No problem. Ill be out of your way soon.
Him: uhm, Hi Im Melisizwe
Me: Thandokazi.
I stretch out my hand and give him a firm handshake. His eyes are this gorgeous
hazel brown and for a second, Im lost in them. But I quickly recover myself, flash
him my dazzling smile and walk out.

~Melisizwe~
Wow! Never in my entire existance have I seen a creature so marvellous. I mean,
Yonela mhle nhe? But uThandokazi? Uyanyisa! I find myself smiling at the door. I
cant believe she'll be my wife soon. I wonder what she was doing in my room? I
go to my closet and I find her bags in there. Uh? Was she sleeping in here? Why? I
change into jean shorts, navy and white tee and navy loafers. I go to upstairs in
search of my parents. I knock on their door and no sound. They must be at it
again. Honestly, those two just cant get enough of each other its nasty really. But
ke, its how I feel about Yonela my girlfriend. We've been together for 5 months
and its been the best 5 months of my life.

Oh yeah, mxm eish. Im Melisizwe Mvelase the last son of 4. Im 30 years old and
Im a business mogul. I dont know how to introduce myself wethu so thats the
basics. Anyway, about two weeks back, dad told me Im getting married. I was
shocked because I was the only one whod be in an arranged marriage. All my
brothers were married out of love, so why was I being punished? I told Yonela and
of course she was pissed, but I promised to take her as a second wife after
because honestly speaking, she made me feel love and so special. She is 23 and is
a PA to some fashion designer.
Why did I agree to all this madness? To gain 65% of shares in my dads biggest
company in Africa. I do have other businesses on the side, but nothing this big. I
have a lot of vision for the company and by being the CEO I will make those
visions a reality.

Back to the now, I knock again and still no answer but I can hear a soft "Sizwe,
baby...". Oh euuuuuw! Fuck. My parents are like rabbits; always on top of each
other. Its gross. No, disgusting.
I pass and go to the end of the hall and knock on the door. I hear a soft come in
and I go in. Sim is having "tea" with her toys. She beams when she sees me.
Her: Hello Baby!
I laugh and pick her up and spin her around. She giggles so sweetly, I can feel my
heart melt.
Me: Hello princess.
Her: Bhuti, did you miss me?
Me: A lot.
Her: Then why dont you come home anymore?
Its almost a cry and I can feel my heart clench at the sound of that.
Me: Work my love. But Ill come see you more often.
She smiles and kisses my cheek.
Me: Wana go get some juice?
She nods and gestures I should put her down. I do and she gets her shoes
Her: Bhuti did you see Thando?
Me: Yeah
Her: Mommy says that you two are getting married?
Me: Yeah we are.
She giggles so much
Her: Im happy for you. Shes nice and very pretty. I like her.
I smile. Im speechless. I pick her up and carry her downstairs. Down the passage,
dad comes out of their room zipping up his pants with s huge fucking grin on his
face. Hes shocked when he sees me.
Him: Nyana wam wolahleko(my lost son)
I laugh and greet him. I go in for a hug and I instantly regret it. My father reaks of
sex.
Me: I hope you not going downstairs smelling like this.
Him:(smelling himself) like what?
I look at Sim and gesture sex with my hand. He bursts out laughing.
Him: That bad?
I cover my nose with my hand. He lightly punches me on the arm and I laugh.
Me: Hi ma! Bye, ma!
Her: Hey wena...
I walk away with her shouting and go downstairs.

Naledi(50), is my mothers name. She had us boys when she was quite young. She
had my brother, Langa(36) when she was 14 and the twins, Kamva and
Khanya(34) two years later. She and my father,Sizwe(56) have been together
since day 1 thats how much they love each other. I admire the way they care and
love each other and can only hope that one day, Ill have the same kind of love.
My parents adopted Sim afyer she was left by her mother at the hospital in her
ward. Sim is spoilt rotten by everyone in the family but mostly me.

My brothers have arrived with only their wives. My brothers have their own
businesses and want nothing to do with dads. They are invested into the music
and marketing business while Im a construction guru.
Langa: Mntaka ma?
Me: Molo bhuti.
He gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek and so do the twins.
Kamva: How are you?
Me: Im getting there slowly but surely.
See, a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with depression and as a result it led to
me being the ultimate fuck boy and workaholic. It was a dark place in my life that
Yonela pulled me out of.
Khanya: Akasemhle umakoti.
I laugh and look away.

At the dinner table, Im seated across Thando. Yho waze wamuhke ummtu. I cant
believe shes 18. Fuck. Im marrying a teenager. I dont know how to feel about this.
Her: (whispering) take a pic. It lasts longer
Me:(whispering) trust me Im tempted to.
Her: Whats stopping you?
Before I can reply, mama asks what we whispering about. Thando blushes and
looks away while i just stare at my plate. Seems like little mami has a mouth on
her.

£05
~Thandokazi~
We eat and Im introduced to Melisizwe and his brothers. They are all nice to me
especially the wives. I like Siphenathi, Bhut Langa's wife. Shes like my mother. Soft
warm and beautiful. We in the kitchen cleaning up
Her: Are you excited?
Me: Not really no. Unlike you, Im marrying a stranger. Atleast you got to choose
your hubby
Her: True. But Melisizwe is such a gentle soul and full of love, you'll be taken care
of.
Me: I hope so.
Her: And besides, you can call me and visit me anytime you want. Where are your
parents?
Me: My dad died and mom is at home.
Her: Oh. No siblings?
Do I count my fathers kids who want nothing to do with me or not?
Me: uhm, not really.
Her: What do you mean?
Before I can speak, Bhut Langa walks in and kisses her. I look away embarrassed.
Really? I carry on wiping dishes and clearing up. Melisizwe walks in and sits on the
high chair near the kitchen counter. I finish up and when I look up, theres a flash.
It him taking a pic of me.
Me: Haibo! And then?
Him: You gave me the go ahead remember?
I giggle and walk away.

Im seated in Sims room painting her nails, when one of the twins walk in and sits
next to me.
Him: Hey
Me: Hello.
Sim: Bhut Kamva, uphi uRoro(wheres Roro)
Him: Shes at home baby.
Her: Why didnt you bring her?
Him: She was sleeping.
Her: Next time will you bring her?
Him: Definately baby.
I finish painting her nails and her toenails too. They are bright pink.
Kamva just sits beside me and says nothing and so do I. I dont know whether its
awkward or what but Im beginning to feel uncomfortable.
He finally speaks
Him: Why are you marrying my brother?
Me: Because its something my father and your father agreed upon before I could
even walk.
Him: So this is arranged?
Me: Yes
Him: And you have no say?
Me: Nope.
Him:Do you want to do it?
Me: I have no choice.
Him: We all of choices in life.
Me: Yes I know. And Im choosing not to disobey my parents.
He nods
Him: I hope you two find love with each other
I say nothing. What can I say?
Him: Goodbye. See you next weekend
Me: Bye. Enjoy your week.
He kisses and tickles Sim and then walks off.
~Melisizwe~
After taking a pic of Thando, I go upstairs to my fathers study. I find him there
sitting in his desk.
Me: Can we talk?
Him: Yeah, whats wrong?
Me: I cant do it.
Him: Not this again
He huffs and closes the file in front of him. I walk closer and sit on the chair
infront of him
Me: Tata shes a teenager. Ummtwana? Do you realise uba ndimshiya nge12 years
yonke?
Him: arg age is just a number Melisizwe. Besides, I told you this years ago. You
know whats at stake here so please dont let me down.
Me: But what about Yonela tata?
Him: You can take her as a second wife...
I smile
Him: After 6 months
Me: What?! So long?
Him: Take it or leave it. Now get out I want to get work done before your mother
comes in.
With that being said, I walk out. My phone rings and Yonelas pic flashes on my
screen. I smile and answer
Me: Baby wam
She giggles
Her: Hi love. Hows it going?
Me: Okay. I guess
Her: Whats wrong? Come home I miss you.
I smile
Me: I cant. I promised mom that Id sleep here tonight. But I promise Im all yours
tomorrow.
She sighs
Her: Okay then. Is she there?
Me: No she'll come tomorrow midday.
Im lying through my teeth. Why? I also dont know.
Her: Okay then. Love you.
Me: Love you too bye.
She drops the call.

Downstairs, my brothers are preparing to leave. We wave them off and they
leave. Mom and Thando are preparing light dinner.
Me: Anything I can help with?
Mom: Yeah. Dice the potatoes.
I look at her. What? Dad shouts for mom upstairs and she leaves me and Thando
alone. Thando comes around and helps me peel the potatoes. I dont know what
to say to her. Luckily her phone rings and she picks it up. She doesnt leave.
Her: Hey love...
Love? Boyfriend? Phamb kwam(infront of me)? Heee!
Caller:....
Her: Yes girl. Hes sitting right next to me.
Caller:....
Her: No not yet. And I dont think so.
Caller:...
She lets out a beautiful sound. Her laugh. Gosh this girl is just beautiful.
Her: Love you too. Bye
She hangs up.
Me: Boyfriend?
The words just slip out of my mouth. Fuck!
Her: No. My aunt.
I feel so stupid now. I get up and leave.

~Thandokazi~
We sit around the dinner table and eat. Everyone is talking care free and Im just
quiet. My mind is back home with my mother not here. I hope shes doing okay
because I know shes not 100% happy about all of this but like me, shes honouring
my fathers wishes. My thoughts are disturbed by little Sim
Her: Thando...
I look up and she smiles. I smile back.
Me: Yes angel?
Her: Why are your eyes green?
Me: Because my moms eyes are also green.
Her: Oh. Are you sleeping im Bhutis room again tonight?
Again? I look at Melisizwe. I dont know what to say.
Me: I dont know love.
Her: Oh.
Me: Why?
Her: Cause I wanted to come sleep with you.
Me: You can come.
Melisizwe frowns and I want to laugh. If hes expecting to crack open the cookie
jar, then he has another thing coming.
Melisizwe: Then where will i sleep?
I shrug and excuse myself from the table. I get up and go to the room and call my
mother. After the third ring, she picks up
Her: Hi baby
Me: Hi mama, unjani? How are you feeling?
Her: Ive seen better days. Anyway, Im happy to announce that ilobola
sowuyibhatalelwe(lobola has been paid). 40 cows love
Me: Oh! So much?
Her: ewe kaloku. Tshini!
I laugh
Me: I miss you
Her: Me too my baby. Are they still treating you right?
Me: Yeah
Her: Good. Next week ke will be your traditional wedding. Ill see you then.
Me: Promise?
Her: Promise
Me: Okay then. See you then. Love you.
Her: Love you too.
I hang up and i just lay on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Everything is moving too
fast for my liking and worst of all, i have no control over it.

Melisizwe walks in as I step out of the bathroom

Him: Mama is looking for you.
Me: Be right there.
Him: You okay?
I smile and nod.
He turns and leaves. I go back to the dinner table and sit.
Naledi: Are you okay?
Me: Ewe ma.
I smile and clear the plates. I wash the dishes with Suzi who says nothing except
for stealing glances. Its very uncomfortable. She finally speaks
Her: Why did you agree to marry my brother?
Me: I didnt. My father did.
Her: You not going to even fight it?
Me: No.
She shakes her head and leaves the dishes half done. What is her problem with
me? I finish up in the kitchen and go to the room. I open the door to find
Melisizwe shirtless and on the phone. Fuck! I gawk for a few seconds before I
enter and go to the closet. I take out my toiletry bag and head for the shower. I
shower and get dressed in my nightie and gown. I wear my slippers and let my
hair down. I need to comb it. I go out and Melisizwe is wearing his pj bottoms. He
hangs them in such a way that it makes my clit throb with lust. Mmm damn! I say
nothing and go to the full length mirror. His room is covered in a soft, black carpet
and i love it. I sit on the floor and comb my hair. Its too long. Monday Ill have to
get it plaited yhu! I can feel Melisizwes eyes on me but I wont say anything.
Him: You have nice hair
I turn and smile at him
Me: Thank you.
Him: So is Sim still sleeping with us?
Me: If she still wants to.
On cue the door opens and little Sim and Naledi walk in.
Naledi: Yhu inwele ezingaka(so much hair)!
I blush and Sim comes and sits on my lap.
Naledi: I came to say goodnight. Sim iza masambe.
Sim pouts
Her: Mommy says I can sleep her tomorrow
I smile and kiss her on the cheek
Me: Okay. Goodnight Ma, nilale kamnand(sleep well).

After Naledi and Sim leave, Melisizwe and I get into bed. We sit up and he looks at
me
Him: So tell me about yourself
Me: What do you want to know?
Him: Your subjects at school
I laugh
Me: Okay. Uhm, Physics, Business, Accounting, Biology, Maths, IsiXhosa, English,
L.O and then Afrikaans on the side.

Him: 9 subjects?😮 is that allowed?

Me: I dont know but I did.
Him: Why?
Me: uhm, I dont know.
Him: And you coped?
Me: Yeah.
Him: So your smart?
Me: Kind of.
Him: And your boyfriend?
Me: Dont have one
He lifts his left brow as if to say he doesnt believe me.
Me: You?
Him: No. Never had a boyfriend.
He smiles and I laugh. I push him on the shoulder
Me: No man! I meant do you have a girlfriend?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Oh.
I keep quiet for a bit.
Me: Then why did you agree to this?
Him: I had no choice.
I nod and say nothing.
Him: So youve never had a boyfriend?
Me: I did. But that was two years ago.
He nods and goes quiet.
Him: So youve had sex before?
Im stunned. Did he just ask me that?

£06
~Melisizwe~
Did I just ask that? Yho shes going to think I want some.
Me: Uhm... you dont have to answer that. Sorry
She giggles
Her: No. Ive never had sex. Well, penetration.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Ive had oral only.
She says that with a straight face. No giggles. I chuckle cause I cant believe it. She
looks too innocent. But ke, as they say, its always the innocent ones that you dont
suspect.
Her: Im not going to ask you cause is obvious.
Me: Meaning?
Her: Your whole persona oozes sex so...
Im shocked. I dont know what to say.
Her: Im sorry if Ive offended you.
Me: Not at all. But youve suprised me though.
Her: How so?
Me: Your honesty. Its so refreshing
Her: Thats me for you. Id prefer to be honest and let you decide than comfort you
with lies only to hurt you in the end. Because eventually, all that is hidden, shall
be revealed. Always!
She smiles at me and Im awed by this woman. Shes no girl. Shes a woman.
Her: Well I should get some sleep. Goodnight.
Me: Goodnight.
She gets in bed and sleeps.

In the morning, I wake up hoping to find her next to me but instead I wake up to
find her standing infront of the mirror, in her underwear. A lacy number at that!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeer!! I can feel my bestfriend standing, ready to explode inside
someone. I clear my throat and she jumps
Her: Hi. Sorry, Ill get dressed now now.
Me: Its okay.
She turns and I have a full display of her behind and damn its so fuckable and
juicy. Its firm and upright. Fuck my penis is beginning to throb in my pants. I get
up and walk around to the bathroom. She turns and sees me. She screams.
Her: Oh my Goodness.
And closes her eyes. I laugh out loud.
Me: Sorry.
She still closes her eyes and goes to the mirror. I close the door of the bathroom
and decide to take a cold shower to let it fall. I wont jerk off never! Well... not
while shes still here. After Im done showering, I go out with a towel wrapped
around my waist and luckily shes not there. I take my phone and call my love
Her: Hi baby
Me: Morning my love. Sleep well?
Her: Yes babe and you?
Me: No.
Her: Whats wrong?
Me: Im missing you and your body.
She giggles
Her: Me too. You coming tonight?
Me: Of course. I have to be with my number 1.
Just then, Thando walks in, in a dress that shows off her curves and of course her
hair is covered. She looks yummy.
Her: Uhm, breakfast is ready.
Me: Be there now.
She turns to leave and I continue on the phone
Me: Gotta go. I love you
Her: I love you too. Cant wait for tonight.
I laugh and hang up.

~Thando~
Yho Melisizwe is one fine specimen of a man. I walked in on him on the phone
and he was shirtless still. Those muscles and abs have me weak in the knees. But
unfortunately, hes taken and he made that very clear when he told his girlfriend
he loves her over the phone. Did it hurt me? No. Am I angry? Not at all. But I am
feeling some type of way and I cant explain it. After that phone call, my mood
immediately dampened. I shouldnt be feeling this way but I do. I walk back to the
dining room and sit next to Sazi opposite Sim. I dont want to be near Melisizwe at
all. He comes in dressed in all black and sits next to Sim and Suzi. Dr Mvelase says
grace and we dig in. Im in no mood to chat so I eat and only talk to Sim
Her: You going to come play with me nhe?
Me: Of course angel. Anything for you. But after I help with lunch.
Melisizwe keeps stealing looks ky way but Im in no mood to even speak to him.
Naledi: Thando, love?
Me: Ma?
Her: You can rest today. Ill cook lunch.
I smile at her and say thank you. Sim claps her hands.

After breakfast we go upstairs to Sim's room. Its very pink and very fluffy I love it.
Sazi is here too
Sazi: Can you drive?
I look at her and nod.
Her: Have a license
Me: Yeah why?
Her: Cause I want to go to the mall but they dont want to take me. Will you?
Me: I dont have a car nje and besides, I promised Sim ill play with her today.
Sazi pouts and sulks. The door opens and Melisizwe comes in. Im instantly
annoyed by his presence. What the fuck is happening nam? I dont like this feeling
at all.
Him: Thando, can I talk to you please?
I nod.
Him: Outside.
I excuse myself and promise Sim Ill be back. Sazi also comes out and goes to her
parents room, practically in tears.
Me: Yes?
Sizwe: Im going back today.
Me: Back?
Him: Yeah I stay in Summerstrand near Stellenbosch. So Im going back today but
Ill come back on Friday.
Me: Okay
Him: Would you like anything?
Me: Like?
Him: I dont know? Jewellery? Chocolates?
Me: No Im good. Thanx.
Him: Alright then, bye.
Me: Bye.
We share a hug, hes obviously taller than me, but the way he holds me is enough
to make me weak at the knees. He smells divine and his body is warm. I break the
hug and he pecks my cheek. I walk him outside to his car and wave him off. I go
back in and everyone is looking at me. I walk past and go upstairs to Sims room
where we continue playing doll.

¤A week later¤
Its Friday. The day before the traditional wedding and my stomach is in knots. Im
nervous about tomorrow and it doesnt help that Melisizwe hasnt arrived yet. And
not once did he call this week, i dont even know why i was expecting him to. He
has someone that he loves and that is not me. Theres a knock on my door and its
my aunt and mom. I practically jump in their arms Im so excited. Makazi is holding
a suit bag and a box. Mama is holding two boxes and shes so skinny. I can see her
veins, its scary.
Me: Hi.
Mama: Awusemhle. Even though, youve lost weight.
I roll my eyes
Me: I did not lose weight qha wena just admit you missed me.
Her: A lot.
She hugs and kisses me and so does Makazi.
Makazi: Have you done your hair yet?
She says while removing my doek. I shake my head no. She rolls her eyes and calls
someone. Mama and I catch up nje wethu and laugh here and there. A lady walks
in the room and does my hair. She puts in a brazilian weave that falls to my back
and curls it. Its so beautiful on my head but it doesnt matter because Im going to
have to wrap up soon. There is ululating outside my room and i wrap my head and
go out. There is singing and Im lead all the way out to the lounge where Im focred
to sit on umkhukhu(small grass mat) with Melisizwe. I wonder when he got here.
He smells of womans perfume and its not mine or any of his siters. Must be the
girlfriends. The elders talk to us and then Im forced to eat utsiki, I do and then the
ladies swoop me up and take me to the room. Where they sing and dance and we
celebrate this day.
The next morning I wake up early and shower. When I go back to the room, mama
and Maki are also there. Dressed to kill baba. Maki does my make up and hair
while umama gets me dressed into a beautiful orange traditional dress. It hugs my
body in all the right ways and its strapless. I sit and she does my doek. I look
breathtaking. I put on earrings and a traditional necklace. Mama hands me black
stilettos and a black watch. Im so pretty. She gives me an orange cloth that I need
to wrap around my shoulders. There is singing and ululating outside my door and
mama instructs me to look down as I walk out. When I walk out, money is thrown
on me and they sing even louder. We get into the car and drive to a township
where there is a huge tent. I get out of the car with this other lady sweeping in
front of me. Im smiling so much, I cant believe Im getting married. It wouldve
been more joyous if it was with the man I loved. Sigh.

£07
~Melisizwe~
By the sound of the ululating and singing outside, I can tell that Thando is here. Im
dressed in baby blue chinos and a shirt that is baby blue and orange but in a
traditional print. I feel hella good. This morning dad yelled at me for smelling like
Yonela yesterday. And Im sure if dad smelled, then Thando smelled me too. To be
honest, i feel bad and I want to apologise to her. I wonder if she'll accept my
apology. She comes in and I stop breathing for a second. She looks magnificent
and in that moment I feel lucky to be marrying her. But then I recover myself,
when I see Yonela seated in the back seat looking all sorts of sexy. Shes wearing a
short dress and heels. Im drooling for her. I drag my eyes away from her and look
at Thando. She comes to stand before me. The pastor blesses our marriage and I
slip my ring on her. Its a beautiful diamond ring and she slips on a plain black band
on me. There is much singing and dancing. We eat but Thando eats very little.
Me: Are you okay?
She looks at me with such hate and nods. I dont know what I can say to make her
better.
Her: Is that her?
She gestures near Yonela.
Me: Yeah
She nods and says nothing. Instead she asks my sister to take her in the house. Im
defeated.

The festivities continue into the night and I have not seen Thando since. She
disappeared in the house and didnt come out again. I feel guilty and bad. I guess
inviting Yonela was a bad idea. Yonela comes to the table and sits beside me
Her: Hey. Whats wrong?
Me: Nothing why?
Her: You dont look too happy for someone whos just got married.
I just glare at her and say nothing
Her: Where's your bride?
I shrug
Her: Well, if you dont feel better later, you can come to my room and Ill make you
feel better.
I smile at her and nod. She brushes my hand and gets up and leaves.
Around 9 I go back home and find her in bed sound asleep. I guess Ive hurt her
more than I thought. I lightly shake her
Her: Hmm?
Me: Can we talk?
She opens her eyes and sits up
Her: Yes?
Me: You dont look okay.
Her: Im not.
Me: Whats wrong?
Her: I get you dont love me, I do and I understand. But to invite your girl to our
wedding and look at her the entire time I came down the isle, was just
disrespectful and cold.
A tear escapes her eye.
Her: You know, just let me sleep before I say something I wont regret.
With that being said she turns over and sleeps. No, she cries. Im frozen I dont
know what to say. But I wont apologise for loving Yonela. Thats one thing I refuse
to do. I turn and leave.

~Thando~
I feel the door close behind me and I know hes gone to her. Sigh. I get up and go
wash my face in the sink. This is going to be one long marriage and a miserable
one at that. The door opens and closes again and I go out. I find him standing near
the bed holding two cups. Why is he here? I just freeze and look at him. I dont
know what to say.
Him: Im sorry for disrespecting you.
I nod and go in
Him: Arent you going to say anything?
Me: Like?
Him: I dont know. Just dont be mad at me
Me:Im not
Him: And Im sorry for making you cry.
Me: Its okay.
He sits down and passes me a cup. I look inside and see its hot chocolate.
Me: oh yum. Chocolate.
Him: Makes any heart melt.
I giggle and sip on my cup.
Me: Did you buy the rings?
He nods
Me: Was your girlfriend with you?
Him: No. Just me and dad.
Me: Oh.
He scoots closer to me and puts his arm around me and sighs. Weirdly, I dont feel
uncomfortable.
Him: So we're married?
Me: Husband and wife.
We both laugh and then sit in silence.
Me: Shes very beautiful though. You look cute together
Him: When did you see us together?
Me: When she came to our table to talk to you.
With that being said I stand up and get into bed. I can hear him sigh and I just
close my eyes.

When I open my eyes, i find him wrapped around me like silk. No wonder I was
getting hot. I look at him and hes so beautiful. Hed be more amazing if he had a
beard though. I look at his lips and his long lashes. Damn! Hes hot even when he
sleep. I look down and I see hes not wearing a shirt, only pj pants. Why? And why
is he wrapped around me? I dont have time to dwell more on the thought as I
have a pressing need to pee. I kiss him on the cheek and his face is so soft. I
wonder how it would feel on my tongue. Woah! Where did that thought come
from? A smile curves on his lips and Im instantly shy. I move from him but he
holds me tighter. He moves and gets on top of me. He opens his eyes and smiles
at me
Him: Morning
Me: Hello.
He moves his lips closer to me and kisses me. His lips are deliciously soft and
warm and so filled with passion. His kisses are filled with praise and an apology.
After a while, he pulls away and I can feel his, uhm, eish, penis poking me.
Me: As much as I like you staring in my eyes, I really need the bathroom.
He chuckles and rolls over. I get up and run to the bathroom.

Whilst Im in there I shower and Melisizwe walks in. Fuck! Thank God his shower
doors are tinted but still he can see the shape of my body from the outside.
Me: Melisizwe
Him: Yes?
I can hear him peeing
Me: Please pass me a towel.
Him: No just come out.
Me: No. Im might slip and fall and besides, I dont want to get the floor wet.
He finishes peeing and flushes. He gets a mat and puts it near the door. And then
stands there. I open the door and only poke my head out.
Me: Towel please?
He shakes his head no. He looks amused
Him: Sooner or later I'll have to see your naked body wifey so I suggest sooner
Me: No! Youve seen me in my undies and thats about it.
Him: Haike suit yourself cause Im not going out. In fact...
He attempt to pull his pyjama pants down but I stop him
Me: No! Please its too early to be traumatised.
He lets out a huge laugh. Infact, he cracks up. I use the opportunity to quickly get
out and run to the towel rack. But its too late cause he grabs my arm and pulls me
to him.
Him: You have a banging body.
I blush away and cover my momo with my hand and the other my breasts.
Me: Stop staring at all this young meat in front of you.
He chuckles and i grab a towel and wrap myself in it. I go out and he goes into the
shower. I lotion and get dressed in my makoti attire and when I look at the time
its past 5. Thank Goodness. I comb my hair and he comes out wrapped in a towel.
He comes over to me and he kisses me. Our kiss is filled with love but I pull away.
He has a girlfriend
Him: Your lips are so soft and juicy.
Me: I know.
He smiles and pecks me, leaving me wanting more. But ke I have to remember
hes not mine. I turn and face the mirror and wrap ny head. I make the bed and
then head for the door but Melisizwe stops me.
Him: I will take care of you okay? Just give me time to adjust to all of this.
I nod and walk past him and into the kitchen. I make tea for the parents and then
start of breakfast. When Im done, Melisizwe goes and calls everyone. They come
down and Sim jumps in my arms.
Me:Morning sunshine
Her: Morning Sisi. Guess where Im sleeping tonight?
I giggle and hug her. Shes just too adorable for words. We have breakfast with
light convo flowing around us.
Naledi: Thando, all your gifts are in the garage.
Me: Okay ma. Thank you.
Her: Do you want me to help you unwrap them?
Me: And send thank yous please.
She smiles at me
Her: Thats my girl. Id love to.
I smile and clear the table. Sazi and Suzi say theyll wash the dishes and I start
cleaning around the house. When Im upstairs, Melisizwe comes behind me and
holds me.
Me: And then?
Him: Your body is addictive.
I laugh, I can feel his erection pressed on my bum.
Me: But you havent been inside me to know.
He chuckles
Him: Yet! And I will be. Soon.
With the being said, he kisses the back of my ear and leaves.

£08
~Melisizwe~
After pressing my self on Thando, Im really in the mood for some. But its too
soon. I get in the car and go to Yonelas hotel room. I call her and she lets the front
desk know shes expecting me. As soon as I reach her bedroom, I pounce on her.
My lips smash on her and i close the door with my foot. I lift her up and wrap her
legs around me. I kiss her and put her on the couch. As soon as I set her down, i
go on my knees and I spread her legs wide. I let my tongue play with her clit. Its
amazing and shes already wet from the shower. I pull my pants down and insert
myself in her. Shes on the injection so its so theres no need for a condom. The
moment Im in I feel so good. I start moving fast and hard inside her to release all
this tension from last night and this morning. Shes moaning my name, begging me
to slow down but I wont. I cant. Not when Im like this. She cums and I follow soon
after. I collapse on top of her.
Her: Angry much?
Me: No sorry baby. Just really frustrated.
Her: You didnt sleep with her?
Me: No.
I can feel her smile. My phone rings, its my father. I pick up
Him: Atleast show your wife some respect and be with her. Or else, you wont
marry that floozy of yours.
He hangs up. Fuck!
Me: babe, I have to go. And Im probably not going to see you for the rest of this
week.
She pouts
Her: Promise to call?
Me: Promise.
Her: I love you
Me: I love you most.
She giggles and kisses me for quite some time. She pulls away and I fix myself
while she gets me some water. I down the water and she fixes me up. I kiss her
again before I leave.

At home, I find my family laughing in the kitchen but Thando is not there. When I
go in the room, I find Thando in the room laying on the bed reading a book. Shes
no longer wearing the clothes for uMakoti(new bride) but a flowy dress with thick
straps and socks. She looks so peaceful and happy.
Me: Hey.
She looks up briefly and then at the book again
Her: Hi. Your food is in the microwave. Should I warm it up for you?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Will you be eating here or the table?
Me: Table
She gets up, marks her book and closes it. She brings the dress down to below her
knee and wears boots. She looks amazing. She walks out with not so much so as a
glance my way. As soon as she leaves, my father comes charging in. He looks
pissed off
Him: YOU WILL RESPECT MY HOUSE AND THAT GIRL!!YOU HEAR ME BOY?
I swallow hard before I nod.
Him: What is it Melisizwe? Why are you so selfish? Unlike you, this child was
thrown in the loophole. Had the dream of planning a wedding snatched away
from her. Something you'll never understand but instead of trying to, you go and
bring Yonela to HER wedding. And then have her come over to your table DURING
the ceremonies. Now, you come back smelling of ikuku(vagina)! Yeeer
kwedin(boy)!!
My father turns to leave and slams the door behind him. He is really ticked off. I
turn and head for the shower.

~Thando~
Melisizwe has some nerve yazi! Flirting with me and then going to fuck someone
else! Rhaaaa! Im so mad. But then again, I have no reason to be mad. Im just the
other woman and thats what Ill always be to Melisizwe. He really and truelly loves
Yonela, he cant help it and then here he is, being forced to marry me. I sigh and
switch on the microwave. Why is my life like this? I can feel tears threatening to
expose me but I refuse to let them fall. I do some breathing exercises and they go
back some.
Naledi: You okay?
Mama startles me and I nod my head, fearing my voice might fail me. I clear my
throat, sip my water and reply.
Me: Ewe mama, Im fine.
She looks me deep in my eyes, searching for some lie in them but I guess she
doesnt find it because she smiles
Her: Im here for you, always. Youre one of my daughters now.
I nod and move in for a hug. Her hugs are ever so warm and motherly, I wish i
could bask in them forever.
Her: So how are you and Melisizwe?
I plaster a fake smile on my lips
Me: Okay. We trying at least.
Her: Atleast. Hopefully he'll forget about that girl now that he has you.
She kisses my cheek and walks away. Oh? What was that now? Does Mother
dearest not like the girlfriend? I wonder. I take Melisizwes food to the table and
cover it with the plastic dish cover. I turned to go call him but he came out,
looking all sorts of yummy in his jeans and tshirt.
Me: I was just about to go call you. Here you go. Tea, coffee, juice, beer?
He smiles
Him: Beer please.
I go fetch his can and put it on the table and Im about to leave when he tells me
to sit down.
Him: How did you know she was at our table yesterday?
Is he really asking me this bullshit?
Me: I was about to come sit, then I saw you and how she brushed your hand so I
left. To give you two privacy.
He goes quiet. Not so tough anymore
Me: Why did you invite her?
Him: She asked to come. She wanted to see you.
I bet she did.
Me: Why?
Him: I dont know. I didnt ask.
Mxm! I remain mute and look through the sliding door to the beautiful garden
outside and the glistening pool. Its so beautiful here but the house is too huge
man. 10 bedrooms each with an ensuite and closet. 2 lounges, one upstairs and
one downstairs, a cinema, a massive kitchen with a walk in pantry, dining room,
study, entertainment room and library. Its all a bit too much. The outside is a
pool, jacuzzi, garden and tennis court. Not forgetting the large garage with 5
doors on each side. But thats detached from the house.
Him: Thando???
Me: No if you were here this morning, youd know its Kanyisa now.
Him: Oh.
Me: Can I go please? Id like to continue with my book.
Him: No. Cancel any plans you have tonight, we're going to dinner. And Ill tell Sim
she cant sleep with you tonight cause Im sleeping over.
I nod
Him: Im sorry I wasnt here this morning. But Im here now.
Me: The way you keep disappearing, I wonder if you'll ever be around when I
need you most.
With that being said, I get up and walk off. I may be younger than Melisizwe by 12
years, but that doesnt mean he should treat me badly and disrespect me in his
fathers house.

~Melisizwe~
We've been together a day and a half and already Im screwing up. I need to fix
this or I can kiss marrying Yonela goodbye. I continue to eat in silence. Ill take her
to a nice restuarant, it always works with Yonela when we have a
misunderstanding. But then again shes not Yonela. I finish up and clear my plate
and place it in the sink. Sazikazi walks in and I ask her to wash my plate, well thats
after I bribe her with R100. Mxa this kid and cash? Same whatsapp group.
Sazi: Uphi uSis Kanyi?
I almost want to ask who that is then I remember its Thando.
Me: Room. Why?
Her: Please tell her Im ready we can go.
Me: Where to?
Her: Mall.
Me: Can I tag along?
Her: No.
She says that with so much authority that it shocks me.
Me: Why not?
Her: Cause its a girls trip. Teens only.
Mxm. I go to the room and tell Thando what Sazi said.
Her: Okay thanx.
She gets up and goes to the closet. I look in my wallet and see that I dont have
much cash. Ill give her my black card. She comes out wearing flats and a not so
tught dress.
Me: Here.
I give her my card.
Her: What must I do with it?
Me: Buy yourself something nice.
She shakes her head no.
Her: No thanks.
Before I can argue, her phone rings and she picks it up.
Not long after shes answered, she lets out a soul tearing scream. She cries so hard
that she falls on the floor. I go over to her by the dressing table and comfort her.
My mother and father come rushing in.
Them: What happened?
Me: I dont know. She was on the phone
She continues to cry and I pick her up and put her in my arms. I lay her head on
my chest and let her sob. I wonder what could it be?

£09
~Thando~
Sigh. Ever since mother told me about her sickness, I knew death was inevitable.
But I didnt think it would be so soon. The way my uncle broke over the phone and
hearing my aunt crying in the background made me weaker than ever. Who was
going to be in my corner when all else fails? What if this sham of a marriage blows
up in my face, who was I going to talk to? Makazi could never understand me like
umama. Mama is a gentle soul who soothes me whenever I need soothing. After
crying for sometime in Melisizwes arms, I calm down and wipe my tears with his
soaking wet shirt. I shift and he unwraps his arms around me. I get up and go to
the bathroom walking past the parents. I get in and wash my face. My eyes are a
dark green and puffy. My nose is red and so are my cheeks. I dry my face and
apply fresh cream on it. When I go back out, I find Melisizwe sitting on the bed.
He looks up when I walk out, with questioning eyes.
Me: My mom died. She had lung and bone marrow cancer. She'd been battling in
silence and only told me last week.
Him: Im sorry for your loss.
I give him a weak smile and walk past him. I get to the kitchen and theres no one
there and I start cooking. I cook mamas famous spicy lamb stew with steamed
basmati rice and sweet and sour stir fry veg. Naledi walks into the kitchen and
gives me a hug.
Her: Im so sorry Kanyi.
I say nothing and just wipe my ever falling tears.
Her: Go to bed. Let me continue
Me: No Ma please. This is my remedy.
Her: Okay. Ill tell Sim to give you some space.
I smile at her
Me: Thank you.

I dish up and put food on the dinner table. Everyone is already seated in silence.
Tat'Mvelase says grace and I excuse myself.
Naledi: You not eating?
I shake my head no
Me: Maybe later.
Melisizwe is staring at me,looking lost. I smile at him and walk away. As soon as
Im in the room, I get into bed.
I mustve dozed off because Im woken up by my phone ringing in the distance and
Melisizwe is wrapped around me like a vine. I gently untangle myself from him
and answer.
Me: Hello
Makazi: Hello nana...
Her voice sounds hoarse and is breaking too.
Me: Hi Makaz.
Her: Baby, ask uMam'Naledi if you can come over on Tuesday please
Me: Okay no problem.
Her: I love you too much.
I giggle, causing Melisizwe to stir
Me: Love you most.
She hangs up.
Melisizwe pulls me in closer and we snuggle till we fall asleep. I can feel my heart
pound in my chest and I know this feeling all too well.
In the morning Im woken up by something big poking my bum. Oh gosh its him. I
move away and get up and go shower. Once Im done I go to the closet and
shower and change in there. My eyes are so sore and my head is splitting in half.
Melisizwe comes in and gives me tablets and some water. I smile and take them
Me: Morning
Him: Morning.
The way his pants are hanging on his body makes me want to rip off his clothes
and let him have me.
Him: Stop staring?
Me: Just returning the favour.
He laughs and comes sits next to me.
Him: Your flight is booked for tonight but Im sorry I wont be able to come. I have
to work but Ill be there for the funeral
Me: Okay I understand.
He turns my head and kisses me so deliciously. I shift and sit on top of him. Hes
too yummy not to. He moans in my mouth and pulls away.
Him: Ha.a or else Im going to fuck you till you cant walk. And right now, youre
hurting baby.
Me: Im sorry.
Him: Dont be. Its good to know that you feel the same that I do.
Me: Which is?
Him: Hunger for you.
I smile and get off. I stand and he stands infront of me and kisses me more. I
giggle and pull away.
Me: Stop I have to pack.
He groans and pulls away, he walks off and Im left smiling touching my lips.
In the kitchen, uMam'Naledi is cooking.
Me: Good morning ma
Her: Hi baby. How are you feeling?
She turns and frowns when she sees me.
Her: What are you doing out of bed? Oh my baby, those beautiful eyes look so
painful.
Me: they are. I thought I should come and help
Her: No. You not doing anything till after the funeral okay? And you didnt eat last
night. Go to bed and Sazi will bring your food to you
I openy mouth to speak but she cuts me off
Her: Ha.a Kanyisa. You have been through enough. Please let me do this for you
baby face.
I smile and let my tears fall. She comes over and comforts me, I sob harder and let
everything Ive been holding in out. She rubs my back and kisses my forehead
repeatedly. I stop when I have hiccups. When I pull away, Melisizwe is standing in
the kitchen looking lost but soon recovers and gives me some water. I thank him
in a melachonly voice. He nods and I go to the room and pack. Once Im done, I get
into bed and just rest my throbbing head.

Theres a knock on my door and Sazi walks in with 2 plates of food.

Her: Ina sisi(here you go sisi)
Me: Thank you baby. Whos the other plate for?
Her: Me. Can I sit with you?
I nod and scoot over and she sits next to me.
Her: Im sorry about your mom
Me: Its okay.
We both sit and eat in silence. When we done, Sazi gives me a warm hug and kiss
on the cheek.
Her: I dont know why, but I love you so so much. Like youre my blood sister.
I laugh
Me: I love you too.
And ke I do. Funny how its so easy to say I love you to her but yet I dont know her
that well.
Her: You going home today?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Im going to miss you. Promise you'll come back?
I giggle
Me: Promise
Her: Good. Cause its nice having you around.
Me: Really?
Her: Yeah
Me: Doesnt seem so
Her: What do you mean?
Me: Suzukiwe doesnt seem like she likes me.
Her: arhg no dont mind her. She just hates that you have no say in this. My sister
is a strong feminist so this is not doing well for her especially the fact that theres
nothing she can do or say about it. Dont mind her man...
I breathe out a sigh of relief and give Sazi another hug. Melisizwe walks in looking
all sorts of yummy and smiles at me. I pull away and Sazi leaves us.
Sizwe: Are you ready?
Me: Ewe bhuti.
He smiles
Him: Lets go.
Sizwe gets my bags and I hug everyone. He drives me to the airport and waves me
off. Im really nervous to be flying alone. But Ill be okay. I have to be.

~Melisizwe~
After Ive dropped Thando off, I go home and chill with the fam. My brothers and
their wives come in and Siphenathi is looking for Thando.
Her: Uphi uKanyisa?
Me: Shes gone home
Her: So soon? What did you do?
I gasp
Me: Haibo! Nothing. Her mom died so shes going to sort funeral arrangements
and such.
Her: Oh. Shame man. Please give me her number so I can send my condolences.
I freeze. Fuck. I dont have her number. What kind of husband doesnt have his
wife's number?
Me: Andinayo( I dont have it)
She looks at me confused. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Her: Sazi!
Sazi: Sisi?
Her: Izapha(come here)
Sazi comes down the stairs and into the kitchen
Her: Sisi?
Siphe: Do you have Thandos number?
Sazi nods and gives it to Siphe. She looks at me confused and walks out. Ill ask her
later for it. Nomsa walks in with Olwethu.
Olwethu: So hows married life?
Me: Uhm, I cant quite say. Im not really fully in you know.
Nomsa: Mmm... Im sorry about what happened with your wifes mother.
Me: Okay...
Nomsa: Send my condolences.
Siphe: How? He doesnt even have her number.
Them: Hayi Melisizwe!
Im defeated so I just stand up and go. I dont have time for their judgemental
bullshit. I call Yonela. It rings for quite some time then goes to voicemail. I call
again, same thing. I wonder what she could be doing. I looked at the time and it
was past 10 then I remembered that shes probably at work today.
I go and chill with my brothers until they leave. My phone rings and its a number I
dont know.
Me: Melisizwe Mvelase hello
Caller: Hi Bhuti, its Kanyisa. Ive arrived safely. Please tell umama notata
Me: Hi you. Okay my angel. Hope everything goes smoothly.
Her: Thank you, bye.
Me: Bye.
She drops the call. Nothing turns me on more than her calling me Bhuti. Yeeer it
drives me crazy especially in that sweet voice of hers.

During supper I tell my parents whats up and have light conversation with
everyone. After dinner, whilst Im in my room, my phone buzzes. When I open it,
Yonela has sent me a pic of her in lingerie. Shit. My cock stirs. I must have her
now. The pic is captioned 'Waiting'. Fuck. I instantly jump from the bed and head
for the door. Luckily my parents and Sim are upstairs so I pay Sazi to cover for me.
She shakes her head and says sure. I drive to Yonelas hotel and knock. She opens,
wearing a black silk gown and lingerie. A smile curves on my lips and she steps
aside, while I walk in, my eyes not leaving hers.

£10
~Thando~
I wont go into detail about the funeral but I will say everything went smoothly.
Melisizwe and his family came to support but they stayed in Queenstown. He
called me everyday twice a day when I was home asking how I was and all. Atleast
he showed that he cared. Today is Sunday and we're preparing to leave. Makazi
says she'll stay at home permanantly and put up the house in Dongwe for sale
because she doesnt want to stay there anymore. I hug her goodbye
Her: (in my ear) dont forget our talk. I know youre hurting but you must fulfill
your wifely duties. I mean in the bedroom.
Me: Okay ma.
Her: No pressure.
I giggle and wink at her when she pulls away. Anyway, we get into the car and
drive to East London. Its just him and I in the car. We get to East London and book
into the hotel. We go up to the room and I take a shower. We leave early
tomorrow with the private plane so Im not worried. My heart is still aching but my
urges for Melisizwe are stronger. When I come out of the shower, Sizwe is
changing into pjs. I go over to the bed and sit infront of him. He smiles at me
Me: Thanks for supporting me through all of this
Him: Always.
He bends and kisses me so sweetly. Its not long and when he pulls away, hes
smiling.
Him: You taste so good
I blush and push him away. I wall to the bathroom and finish off creaming my
body and wearing my night dress. I come out and Meli is already in bed. I get in
beside him and sleep.
In the middle of the night, Meli is wrapped around me like silk and I really need to
pee. I gently move under him and go pee. I quickly wash my mo-mo with a cloth
and refresh myself. I get into bed and he pulls me in closer. I kiss him on the neck
and attempt to get on top of him. I can hear his smile.
Him: Kanyisa, dont start something you wont be able to finish.
Me: Says who?
He chuckles and in no time hes on top of me, kissing me with so much need and
longing. He skims his hand to the hem of my dress and pulls it up and takes it off.
Hes shirtless so my hands are on his bare, muscular back and it feels good. He
slowly kisses my neck and his hands play with my breasts. It feels so good, Im
practically squirming under him. His mouth moves from my neck to my breasts
where he sucks each one and gently blows. Its orgasmic I tell you, so much so that
I cum in my panties.
Him: So eager?
Me: mmm...
His mouth moves from my breasts to my nether regions! And thats where all the
fun begins. Im telling you, this mans tongue is like magic. Its so warm and kinda
rough especially on my shaven crotch. Im moaning and screaming and calling out
names that Ive only ever dreamed of using. I cum in his mouth, hard and he
moves up.
Him: You on a contraceptive?
Me: Yeah.
He smiles and kisses me, making me taste my own pleasure. And I must say,
though its a bit salty, I do taste good. He removes his pj pants and gets in
between my legs.
Him: You sure about this? I can stop if..
Me: I need you to take my pain away. Make me feel good babe. Please.
He kisses me and positions himself between my legs. He lifts my legs higher and
spreads them wide. I can feel him on the wall of my coochie and with one hard
thrust, he rips me and is in. I let out a scream but Im quickly silenced by his kisses.
A tear escapes my eye and falls on the side of my face.
Him: Im sorry babe, want me to stop?
Me: No. Please.
He gently starts moving. Its painful but it feels so good.

~Melisizwe~
Oh my! Thando is so tight and very warm. With every thrust, I can feel myself
building so I start picking up the pace. Her moans and movement of her waist
motivate me to give her my best but also be gentle with her. I can feel her body
tensing under me
Me: Let go baby.
She arches her back, pushing her breasts into me. They are so warm and perky.
They fit perfectly into my hand. She lets out a moan, calling my name in the
process and has a massive orgasm that pushes me out of her slightly and leaves us
wet. I follow too and lie on her panting. I roll over and lay on her side. I switch on
the side lamp and she covers her face and giggles. I gently move her hands and Im
met by emerald green eyes. They are magnificent. I could stare in them for a life
time. I smile and so does she. I dont know what to say so I just bite my lower lip.
And she mirrors my reaction.
Me: How was that?
She giggles and buries her face in my chest.
Me: Haibo? No answer.
She shakes her head and snuggles in closer. Her skin on my skin is magical. I smile
to my self as I hug her. She moves up and rolls on top of me. She licks my face.
What The FUCK?
Her: Ive always wanted to feel your skin on my tongue. Its smooth like glass on a
hot summers day.
I laugh and gently spank her bum. She moans in such a way that makes my dick
wake. Its sexy. I kiss her cheek and she smiles.
Her: How many virginities have you broken?
Woah! Such a random question to be asking. Im stunned I dont think I can
answer.
Me: Your the only one.
Its true. All the girls Ive ever had weren't virgins.
Her: Really?
Me: yeah
Her: Wow!
Me: Why you asking?
Her: Cause you caressed my body like its something you do on a daily.
I burst out laughing. Filter much?
Me: No. Just that I know how to handle a womans body.
Her: Mmmh..
Fuck! Why did I just say that? She goes awfully quiet. I guess Ive messed up. I
want to make this better. I kiss her head and she breathes out. When I peak at
her, shes asleep. I take my phone from the stand and its 2:57am. I shift and go to
the bathroom and when I come back, shes moved to her side. I get in bed and pull
her closer to me. I smile in the darkness when I think about what shes just done.
Shes just given me her innocence on a silver platter. If anything, I am grateful and
Ill show her my appreciation soon.

£11
~Thando~
☆Month later..☆
Its now the 31st of December. New years eve... its been quite hectic this past
month, watching Melisizwe love his girlfriend has been the hardest. Last week I
found a necklace hidden in his blazer. It was beautiful and so elegant, but I am no
fool. I knew that it wasnt mine. The following day, he left for her and didnt come
back home. Im kind of used to it now, but Im not going to lie and say it doesnt
bother me because it does. In fact, it infuriates me because I am starting to fall for
him. Not because of the sex, which by the way is phenomonal, but because of the
way he is. He cares for me when he wants to, but not the way he does for her.
Anyway, earlier this week, i heard him say to his father that hes adament on
taking Yonela(thats her name) as his second wife, whether I like it or not. That
night, I cried myself to sleep. Every time he doesnt sleep home, my heart breaks
further, especially knowing that I can never compete with her. She has his heart
and was here before me.

Meli: Kanyi... baby? Hello?

Thats what he calls me to soften me up and almost always it works. His deep
voice and the way he says my name make me melt.
Me: Hmm?
Him: Hey? Where were you just now?
Me: Just thinking.
Him: About?
Me: My results and where Im going to study.
Him: oh. Hey I was thinking, why dont you move in with me?
My eyes shoot up into his. Does this mean that he wants to give us a chance? But
who am I fooling? I can see it in his eyes that its not going to happen.
Me: Ooookaaay??
Him: Yeah. We're married and would very much like us to act and be like a couple.
I almost scoff at his remark. "LIKE"!! So right now Im just some chick he
occasionally fucks cause clearly to him we are NOT a couple.
Him: Kanyi?
Me: Yeah no problem. Have you told your parents yet?
Him: Yeah and they dont seem to mind except for Sim and Sazi.
When he mentions their names, theres a knock on my door.
Me: Come in.
Sazi walks in, her eyes puffy and red.
Her: So youre leaving?
Me: Yeah baby. I am married kaloku.
I get up and give her a hug and she holds me so tightly.
Her: Im going to miss you.
Me: Me too.
Her: When do you leave?
I pull away and look at Meli.
Him: Tomorrow late.
I look at him, shocked.
Me and Sazi: So soon.
Him: Yes. Sazi please excuse us.
She pouts, kisses me on my cheek and walks out. Meli walks over to me and holds
me by my waist and pulls me to him
Him: I miss your body and I just want you to be as loud as you want with no
disturbances by Sim. Okay?
Me: Oh so this is about sex more than us trying?
He looks at me shocked. He didnt expect me to ask that. I push him off me cause
clearly, thats all he wants from me.
In the kitchen, Im cooking up a storm because Im pissed off like hell. Hes not even
willing to try. All he wants is whats between my legs. Is that all Ill ever be good
for? Cooking, cleaning and fucking? Yeeer! Im so mad I could cry but I wont give
him the satisfaction.
Meli: Kanyi?
I look at him
Me: Bhuti?
Him: Can we talk?
Me: Im cooking.
He sighs and comes around and stands behind me. He lays his head on my
shoulder and whispers in my ear. That sends shivers down my spine right to my
vagina!
Him: I dont mean it like that Kanyisa please. Yes, Id like to have sex with you again
but more than anything Id like to have you all to myself. Everytime, we try to talk,
theres Sazi or Sim who disturb us. And worst of all you let them..
Me: So its my fault?
Im fuming with rage. Rha!
Him: No thats not what I mean my love. Just that I want to be in our own small
bubble. Just the two of us. Like a mini honeymoon before you go to school. Okay?
I smile and nod. He kisses the back of my ear and circles his hands around my
waist. Mmm that feels good.
Him: Baby, would you be mad if I said I want you now?
Me: But Im still cooking
Him: When last? The week before?
Me: And whos fault is that?
Him:Im sorry. Ive been... occupied.
I laugh and push off him. Right!

Dinner is tense between the two of us. He keeps looking my way, but I couldnt
give two shits.
Sazi: Can you sleep in my room tonight?
Before I can reply, Melisizwe is already ahead(rolling eyes).
Him: No. Kanyisa is my WIFE and she sleeps in MY room. Clear?
I glare at him. Sazi says nothing
Me: How about we spend the afternoon at the mall tomorrow?
She blushes so hard.
Her: Okay deal.
Mama and tata smile at me.
After supper, mama insists that her and Sazi will do the dishes. So I go to the
room and pack. Melisizwe comes in and closes the closet door and locks it. Fuck!
Him: Whats your issue?
Me: In terms of?
My back is to him when I reply.
Him: LOOK AT ME WHEN IM SPEAKING TO YOU!
Me: Dont shout.
I turn and face him and he looks mad AF! But so fucken sexy. Mara this man is just
beautiful, period.
Him: What is the problem?
Me: The disrespect. Dismissing my feelings as if they dont matter, or better yet
mean nothing to you. Forgetting that just like you, I had planned a life but was
forced in this too. The constant humiliation of waking up without you by my side
at your parents house and having your parents look at me with such pity in their
eyes. Thats the issue.
With that being said I continue packing.

I keep tossing at turning in bed but I cant sleep. Meli is next to me. He switches on
the light.
Him: What is it? You keep tossing around.
He sat up and so did I. Before I can open my mouth, he raises his hand to silence
me so I shut my mouth
Him: Thando lwam, Im sorry for being a bad husband. But I promise to try harder
from now on. Im sorry for disrespecting our marriage and it stops now. But you
got to understand that Yonela and I have history and...
I cut him off.
Me: Not once have I ever asked you to leave her for me. Never! You dont see me
calling you when you with her,but she calls you when you with me and you
ANSWER! YOU FUCKING ANSWER AND THEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY YOU
LOVE HER INFRONT OF ME.
Im enraged and even crying now. Im fucken pissed.
Me: I understand you dont love me and you never will. But to rub salt to the
wound? Wow. And exactly why are you taking me to your place he? So you can
leave me there with no one to call or ask anything from and go to her freely
without your parents breathing down your neck huh? Is that why?
He shakes his head no.
Me: Get out!
Him: Haibo?
Me: Melisizwe Mvelase, get out.
Him: But this is my room
Me: I dont give two shits. Leave! Go to her, go!
He doesnt move, so I throw the glass on my side at him and it hits the wall. Hes
shocked and gets up.
Me: Now!
He gets up and leaves. Dragging his feet at that. I get into bed and sob silently. I
hear the door close. And that alone breaks me further. Our first fight and Ive just
kicked him out of his parents home. Sigh...

£12
~Melisizwe~
Thando has just kicked us out of our room. Hee!! I dont know whether to be angry
or relieved. The way she through that glass at me made me so scared. I was sure
she was going to kill me. But Im not leaving her, no. Im going to go sleep in Bhut
Langas room. I open the door and get into bed and doze off, deep in thought
about all that Thandos just said.
In the morning, I wake up and go to the kitchen. I bump into her cooking and sit
on the high chair.
Me: Morning.
Her: Hello.
Her voice hello is icy. Shit!
Me: Happy new years.
Her: Thanks. You too.
Before I can open my mouth to speak, her phone rings. She speaks for a while,
laughing and giggling. Its really a heavenly sound to hear. After a while, she drops
the call.
Me: After breakfast get ready we're heading out.
Her: I cant. I promised Sazi...
Me: Ndithini kuwe?( what did I just say to you?)
She says nothing, so I bang the table.
Me: Kanyisa!
Mom: Hayi Melisizwe! Asoze( never)!
Thando is looking at me blankly, with not so much as fear in her eyes. Shes cool
and that alone just pisses me off. Im not a violent guy, but when pushed? Nc nc nc
nc. Im dangerous. I get up and walk away. I get into our bedroom and shower.
When I come out, Im cool.

Thando comes in
Her: Breakfast is ready, Bhuti.
I thought I was cool. Nah, I was fucking fooling myself. I grab her and lock the
door. Before she can say anything, my lips are on hers. She responds and I pin her
on the door. Im hungry for her. I lift her up and try taking her dress off of her, it
doesnt oblige. So there was only one option left, tearing it. I felt like a beast as I
tore it.
Her: Bhuti.
Me: Shhh, no words.
Once the dress was off completely, i moved her to the edge of the bed and knelt
before her. Shes wearing red undies, which I gladly take off with my teeth.
Her: Bhuti... ima... wait...
I silence her with my tongue on her nookie. She moans and holds my head,
spreading her legs wider. Yes! Just where I want her to be. I lift her higher and
start tormenting her cookie. I can feel her legs tensing, shes almost there, and like
gentle rain on a hot summers day, she rains in my mouth. Yum! I pull my pants
down, flip her over and slam myself into her wetness. She screams and I spank
her bum to silence her. She moans and I pick up my pace. I go faster and with
every thrust, her legs tighten in front of me and soon, she showers me with cum. I
follow ensuite. Fuck! I just made her squirt. Excited as I am, Im not satisfied. Im
still hard and I want more. I turn her over and pick her up and move her to the
wall, where I wrap her legs around me. When I slide in, she gasps and pushes me
back
Her: Youre in too deep...
I kiss her neck and she calms down and puts her hands on my shoulders. I start
moving, slowly at first. But the way her pussy hugs my dickson, and the warmth of
it all, fuck I start pounding her so hard.
Her: Bhuti... please... aaah!... no...
Me: Shhh...
She starts scratching my back, fuck me! Shes a beast. She tightens her grip around
me and slightly closes her vaginal walls tighter around my penis. Thats enough to
make both of us cum together. We are both left breathless and tired. And wet!

At breakfast, Kanyisa is quiet. But glowing, shes thoroughly fucked. I put my hand
on her thigh and she instantly closes her legs. I want to laugh.
Dad: Mvelase?
Me: Ta?
Him and mom burst out laughing. Fuck I know what this is about. I steal a glance
with Kanyi and her cheeks are pink. Very pink. Sazi, Sim and Suzi are confused.
Sim: Mommy? Can I go play at Jessies house today?
Ma: Okay my baby. Sazi will take you. Nhe?
Sazi: Okay.
Sazi looks at Kanyi and they smile secretly.
I stretch over and whisper in her ear.
Me: Im not done with you.
She smiles and stands to clear the plates. I have a full view of her bum. Fuck me!
Its big but I can handle it. I reach up and squeeze it.
Her: Hayi.
I wink and bite my lower lip and she looks away blushing.
She clears up and goes to the kitchen. I follow behind her. Shes by the sink, I go
stand behind her and press my goodness on her sexy behind. I put my hands
around her waist and kiss her neck.
Her: Hayi Bhuti! What if umama notata walk in?
She pushes me with her behind and carries on washing dishes
Me: You pushing me away? Again?
She doesnt respond, instead she looks at me with those beautiful eyes and bites
her bottom lip. Yho why does this girl make me crazy so much? Must be the sex.
I take a dish cloth and help her wipe the dishes
Her: Haw Bhuti? Kanti theres something you can do in the kitchen?
She says that with such shock that makes me laugh so hard. She giggles and we
wash the dishes in silence. With the occasional glance and brushing of bodies
against each other. Shes playing a dangerous game. She bends to wipe the table,
but the way she bends is so sexy it sends shivers right to my dick. Before she goes
and stands on the other side of the table, lile she knows Im about to grab her.
Her: So where we going?
Me: Beach.
Her: Oh.
Me: And you must wear a bikini.
She laughs
Her: No.
Me: Are you defying me?
Her: No, Im respecting my body.
Me: Well I want you to.
Her: No.
Me: Yes.
Her: No.
Me: You know I can do this the whole day?
Her: I know. Besides, its the first the beach will be full. Cant we go somewhere
else?
Me: We can go to my house then.
Her: So soon?
Me: Haike!
I give up and turn back to the dishes. I dont know whats wrong with me. But I just
cant seem to woo her. Oh I know...
Me: We'll go to my house then we'll come back. Promise.
Her: okay then no problem.
I smile at her seductively.
Her: No.
Me: No what?
Her: Im sore.
Me: Not yet you not. When Im through with you, you'll be limping.
Her: Ha! We'll see about that.
I drop the towel and walk over to the table thats separating us.
Me: Is that so?
She says nothing except for lick her lips and unbotton one of the buttons on her
shirt, revealling her cleavage. Damn...

£13
~ Melisizwe~
Thando is laying on my chest after a hell of a fuck session. The way she rode me
fam? Flame for days! Never in my life have I ever been sexually challenged like
that. This young blood really knows what shes doing as if she has been doing it for
years. We're breathless and wet, dripping with each others pleasure.
Me: Lets go shower and go.
Her: Okay.
We have an innocent shower together and get dressed to leave. Before we head
out the door, my dad calls me.
Me: Tata?
Him: Go easy on the poor girl. Yhoo I can hear her from my room.
Me: Uzube wena umameli ntoni( why are you listening)?
I say laughing and walking out.
Dad: Hey Kwedin!!!(boy!!)
I walk off and get into the car with Kanyi beside me. As soon as we leave, she
takes off the doek and lets her hair loose. Shes dyed it maroon and it suits her so
much. Brings out her eyes and her skin tone.
Me: Youre so beautiful, you know that?
She blushes
Her: Thank you. Youre not too bad yourself.
I chuckle a bit and drive to my dad company. She looks at me confused, we get
out and I hold her hand. It feels so good in mine, too good in fact. We go in and go
to the top the floor, to the helipad. Derrick is there, waiting for us. Kanyi turns to
me
Her: We're flying to your place?
Me: Nope, we flying around Cape Town.
She gasps and looks at me, shocked.
Me: Close your mouth before flies get in.
She giggles and throws her arms around me. Her hugs and kisses are the best, I
must say shame. Anyway, we get in and I strap her up and we take a tour of the
mother city. Its beautiful. It would be better in the evening, but we'll do that
some other day. Derrick is the one flying today, and after the tour we go back.
From there, I treat her out to a delicious meal out, where we chat and laugh.
Kanyi is actually mature for her age and very smart. I find myself smiling as I
watch her look at the beautiful view of the ocean.

Back home, I spend the day with my family and Kanyi. My phone is ringing non-
stop, probably Yonela but I choose to ignore it because with all that Kanyi said
yesterday she was right. When I went to Yonela, she wouldnt call or even text me.
But I suspect its because she thinks I wont answer. Or shes just respecting Yonela.
I text Yonela that Im busy and will call her when I get the chance. When I look up,
Thando is nowhere to be found. I get up and go look for her. I find her in the
room, pacing.
Me: Hey?
Her: Hi.
Me: Whats wrong?
Her: Nothing.
She fakes a smile.
Me: Try again.
Her: No really Im okay.
With that being said she pushes past me and goes out.

~Thando~
Im so stupid, its a joke. How can my heart betray my mind like this? Is this all part
of his plan? What was I thinking he? It was all too good to be true.
Im pacing in the room angry. Im fucken in love with Melisizwe. Can you believe it?
Just yesterday I was ready to slaughter him but after today, with all the talking we
did, I saw his heart and how it has so much potential of love. But that love is not
mine. I need to be honest with myself. I feel so stupid for loving him it hurts.
Aaaarh! I want to scream out in frustration. And then he goes and texts her in
front of me. Just when I thought things were finally looking up between us. After
talking with Meli, I go to the pool area where everyone is seated and chatting.
My phone beeps and its a notification from my bursary saying that they approve
my application but are now waiting for my results for confirmation. I involuntarily
let out a scream of excitement. When I applied, I thought my chances of being
approved were slim to nothing.
Sazi: And then sisi?
I smile at her broadly and hug her.
Mama: Kanyi yintoni sthandwa(what is it love)
Me: Sorry ma. Ive just been approved for a bursary that I applied for beginning of
June last year. I didnt think Id get it.
Meli: But you not going to need it nje babe.
My smile instantly fades. What does he mean? Does he not want me to further
my education?
Me: Can I talk to you please? Now.
He gets up and so do I and we wall to our room. When we get there I close the
door and sit on the bed.
Me: You dont want me to further my education?
He looks at me confused.
Me: Please Bhuti, Im begging you. Let me do this. Its all that Ive ever dreamed of.
Please dont take this away from me. I...
He cuts me off
Him: What are you on about love? Im not taking anything away from you. All Im
saying is that you not going to need the bursary because Im paying for your fees
mos.
My eyes widen. Oh my goodness! I jump on him and attack him with kisses all
over his face.
Me: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You dont know how much this means. I
love you so much. Thank you!
Oh my shit. What did I just say? Holy fuck. Did I just say I love him? Out loud!
Shiiiit!
He looks at me wide eyes and I push him off me and walk out. I know he wont say
it back. I can feel it in my bones, and if he does, I know he wont mean it. Why?
Why? Why? Aaaarhg! Me and my bloody filterless mouth. What have I just done?
.
.
.
(Sorry its short, will make it up to you).
£14
~Melisizwe~
Shit. Did Thando just say she loves me? Im flabbergasted. Speechless. Stunned.
What do I say? Its not that I dont feel the same way nhe, I do. But just different. I
do have strong feelings for Thando, I really do. But love? eish, I dont know man.
Even when I say I love you too to Yonela, my heart cringes because I know Im not
being honest. I dont even love myself, so how could I possibly love another
human being? The only women I love is my mother and sisters.
Im starting to feel like shit. Thank God tomorrow is Monday so its back to work.
So all this awkward vibe will be gone.
I go into the closet and start packing for tomorrow. Im leaving tonight but Ill leave
Thando behind.

I go outside and start saying my goodbyes. Thando doesnt even look my way. I
sigh and go over to her. I give her a bear hug, lifting her up in the process. She
giggles in my ear and I give her a big smooch when I put her down
Sim: Eeeeeeeuuw!! Mommy make them stop.
I chuckle at that. Psht! Like she would.
Thando gives me a hug and whispers in my ear
Her: You dont have to say it. Please dont say it back.
I look at her and take her away from everyone.
Me: Why dont you want me to say it?
Her: Because you wont be meaning it. Just mimicking what Im saying. Just forget I
ever said it okay?
Me: No. I wont. Because it comes from your heart and Im elated to know that you
feel something for me because I also have strong feelings for you.
Her: Stop mocking me please. Have a safe trip home and enjoy work. See you
when I see you?
She gives me a heart-felt kiss and walks away, swaying her perfectly round butt at
me. I sigh. Reserved and go around. Get into my car and drive back to
Summerstrand. The drive is long and I call Yonela
Her: What?
Me: Haike. If youre going to be like that, then bye.
I drop the call.

When I get to my house, Yonela is already parked at the gate. I open my gate and
she drives in, so do I. My house is quite big for one person really. It has 5
bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, helipad, cinema, lounge,kitchen, pantry and outside,
swimming pool and jacuzzi. Downstairs is my man cave and garage. Anyway,
Yonela climbs out of her car and comes to me. I get out and she holds me.
Her: Im sorry baby. Just that I was annoyed at you for not answering my calls.
Me: With good reason. I was with my family and wife.
Her: But that doesnt mean you shouldnt answer your phone.
Me: No Yonela. You know that Im married and that means you must respect those
boundaries. When Im with you, do you see me answering her calls?
She pouts
Her: No.
Me: Exactly. So please extend the same curtesy to her okay?
Her: Fine.
She throws her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply. She pulls away
Her: I was thinking?
Me: Hmm?
Her: How about you come to my place for dinner tonight? On me.
I smile and nod.

The thing is with Yonela, its real. We can cuddle with no sex and talk the whole
night. She really was there to pull me out of my depressive state and love me,
even when I dont love myself. I value her and love her. She picked me up when I
was down and dusted me off with love. She cares for me and is always there
when I need her. My shoulder to lean on. Now tell me, how do I let go of
something like this for someone I hardly know? We've been intimate for like 2
weeks if I sum it all up and I still dont know Thando well enough to build
something with her. Had we not been arranged, I wouldn't have looked at Thando
twice. Not because shes unattractive, no but because I have everything I could
ever want in a woman in Yonela.

~Thando~
A whole week has passed and still no word from Melisizwe. I mustve scared him
off. For the past week, Ive been crying myself to sleep asking my dad why he
would torment me like this? Why couldnt him and mom try and pay Dr Mvelase
off then so I wouldnt suffer like this. To be honest, what my father did was very
selfish and Im beginning to resent him for it. Yesterday, I heard umama and tata
say that the reason Im probably grumpy this week is because I may be missing
Melisizwe. Mxm, if only they knew. The weekend came and went and still no
word from him. Yazi, Im starting to also not like uYonela. Because Im jealous of
her. She has Melisizwes heart and soul without being forced into a marriage. She
is his world while Im the dust he walks on. If this is what heartbreak feels like,
then I dont wish it upon anyone.
The Monday my results are coming out and Im all jittery and scared. Utata said
he'll take me to the petrol station in the morning to go check the papers. Sazi said
she'll be there too.

At dinner, Im so quiet.
Mama: Dont be nervous. Im sure you did great.
I just smile. My mind is not even on my results, its on this torture of a marriage.
After dinner, I do the dishes, clean up and go to bed. My phone rings. Its
Melisizwe. Mxm. I let it ring while I go have a warm bath to calm myself. I can still
hear it ringing and Im deciding not to care at all. He knows that weekends are the
only time we can spend together because he works during the week, and he didnt
come home this weekend so what the fuck does he want from me? To apologise
again? Isnt he tired of making meaningless apologies time and time again? Hayi
Im tired of hearing them nam. I just want to get my education and live life to the
fullest. My phone eventually stops ringing, he mustve grown tired and given up. I
get out of the bath and dry myself and clean the bath. I wrap myself in a towel
and go to the room and change into pjs.
My phone rings again and its uMakazi
Me: Hi maki.
Her: All the best for tomorrow nana, uyathandwa ndim.( I love you). Goodnight
My tears fall down my face.
Me: Goodnight. Love you too. Thanx
I drop the call before she can hear me cry. Im so tired of crying. My eyes are just
painful now like the time mom died. I say a short prayer then fall asleep.
Im woken up by a soft knock on my door.
Tata: Makoti? Masiye(lets go)
Me: Okay tata.
I get up, wear a bra and wear a dress and Melisizwes hoodie. I fibd myself inhaling
his scent. Mxm fucken prick. I miss him and his deep voice and laugh and smile
and... and... and. The list is endless. I wrap my head and wipe my face and go out.
Sazi is wearing jeans and I so envy her right now. Sazi is tall with that model bod.
Its gorgeous like Yonela. Woah! Where did that thought come from?

We get to the petrol station and there are other students there. Waiting like us. I
step out of the car with Sazi and stand at the door, holding her hand and playing
with her fingers.
?: TK! TK NQUMBU!
I turn and find someone waving at me. I wonder. I wave back trying to make out
the face. The person comes closer and I cant believe who it is. Its Lamla Njongo.
Oh my gosh. I scream. And give him a bear hug when he reaches me. I could cry.
Me: Noo! Dude... where have you been? How are you? Oh my gosh.
He smiles and pinches my cheek
Him: Still beautiful I see. Tshomza Ive been around nje. Im okay how are you? And
who is this beauty besides you?
I smile.
Me: Sazi, my sister in law. Sazi, Lamla my childhood bestie.
Lamla: Oh yeah hey. Umama did say kanene, thought she was joking but like for
reals babes, you pushing this?
I smile and shrug
Him: Listen, Im sorry that I didnt come to your moms funeral babes. I was in Jozi
that week. But you know Ill make it up to you promise. Where you attending?
Me: Stellies.
He screams so dramatically and claps his hands
Him: Me too. Oooo you and I together like the old days. The two hotties.
I laugh so loud and he hugs me again.
Him: Chomza give me your number so we can do lunch today cause you and I
need to catch up on everything we missed.
We exchange numbers and have light chats until the truck arrives. The
newspapers are delivered and Lamla runs and grabs two. We both scan for our
numbers in the news papers separately. My number pops up and I take a huge
gulp of air before I read. My eyes are glassy from holding back tears. I wipe with
my sleeve and start reading. All my subjects are written there. All 9. I scream and
hug Sazi. Jumping around and crying. Lamla also screams and hugs me. We cry
and laugh and act crazy all together. I passed guys. With distinctions😊. Mama,
can you see me?

£15
~Melisizwe~
Ive tried calling Thando today cause her results are coming out tomorrow and
tried to wish her goodluck but I guess she doesnt want to talk to me. This week
has been hectic and instead of going home for the weekend, I had to go to Nigeria
for business. Beautiful country I must say and Yonela enjoyed herself. Yeah thats
right, I took Yonela with me to Nigeria because I wanted to make it up to her. She
must feel so sad knowing Im married to someone else so I spoil her with affection
to remind her that she has my heart. Im beginning to really love her because I no
longer feel guilty when I say I love her too.
Not once this week, did it cross my mind to call Kanyi. Im really a bad husband to
her shame and I should get her something to apologise.
Monday morning, Im back in South Africa. Yonela has gone back to work and Ive
decided to take the day off. I drive back home, I want to surprise my family and
Thando. I bought her a beautiful diamond necklace and matching earrings. The
centre piece is a huge emerald diamond that reminded me of her eyes. Its
exquisite man.
I get home and find my sisters washing dishes, Sim is just sitting and talking. Mom
and Dad are cuddling on the couch.
Mama: Hey baby.
Tata: Haibo. Am I not your baby?
Arg these two.
Mama giggles
Her: Hayi mpa suba nomona(dont be jealous)!
Me: Hi parents. How are you?
Tata: We're good.
Sazi walks in
Her: Hey bro. How was Nigeria? What did you bring me?
She gives me a sweet smile. But how does she know about Niger? I didnt tell her.
Me: Dad really?
Tata: What? She didnt hear it from me.
Her: It was on social media wethu, with you and Sis Yonela at some dinner looking
all cosy. It was cute.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Tata gives me one hell of a look and shakes his head.
Him: Kanyisa is in her room. But I think shes preparing to go out.
Mama: She should. Shes always coooped up in this house with us. She needs
some air shame.
I turn and leave while my parents are talking. Im so nervous to go to the room. If
Sazi knows about Niger, then Kanyi knows. Sazi akanasifuba kalok(cant keep
things to herself).
I knock and I hear a soft come in.

I open and find her combing her hair in front of the mirror.
Me: Hey
Her: Hello.
Me: You look nice.
Her: Thanx.
I dont know what to say. I feel so guilty and dirty standing here, knowing very well
that she saw me on social media and I didnt call her the whole week. I feel like Ive
been caught with a mistress. Shit.
Me: I got you something.
Her: Oh?
Shes not looking at me the entire time. I go over to her and hand the gift bag to
her. She stops what shes doing, wipes her hands with wet wipes and opens the
gift. Her face is blank, in fact she almost looks disgusted. Yho so much for effort.
Her: uhm thanks, but no thanks.
She hands the gift back to me and ties her hair and cleans up.
Me: Why not?
Her: Not my style. But thanks for the thought. You staying?
Her words are so cold and her eyes even colder
Me: No
Her: okay. Well, see you when you decide to remember me. Gotta go.
With that she grabs a rather heavy bag, and leaves. I stand there, dumb. What
just happened?

~Thando~
The nerve of Melisizwe. To think he can just buy me like that. Rhaaa uyandiqhela(
he doesnt see me)! Fucken hell. I say goodbye to the rents and kiss Sim on the
cheek. Tata insists on me taking his car, a black GTI and mama forces me to take
the several R200 notes that she forcibly gives me
Her: Hay hay hay. Andifun nova( I dont want to hear it). Youre my daughter too so
I must take care of you. Enjoy yourself and be safe my baby. Im so proud of you.
I smile and hug her. I salute utata(our thing wethu) and leave. The whole way Im
shaking with anger. What a way to start my wonderful day, but I wont let him ruin
my day. My phone buzzes and its a call from Maki. I answer and she screams and
sings and ululates. Maki has my number so she can check me in the papers. After
a while she decides to speak,
Her: Congratulations my baby. Oh how I wish umamakho would see all of this.
You are a gem to behold. I hope your hubby spoils you rotten.
That last part clenches my heart and more than anything, makes me angry. It
leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Husband? Mxm. Melisizwe is anything but a
husband to me. Makade atshate(he must marry) uYonela so all this sneaking
around can stop.
Me: Thank you Maki. Im sure mamas proud of my results. You and her were the
only people who kept me motivated to do better and be more. Thank you.
Her: Its a pleasure my love. Anuyhing and everything for you.
Me: I know. Thats why I love you.
My voice chokes on the last line as I hold back my tears. Im emotionally crumbling
at a fast rate and I cant control it.
Her: You dont sound okay. Whats wrong?
Me: Nothing mama. I dont want to talk about it.
Her: Well call me when you do. I love you bye.
Me: Bye.
I hang up and look for parking at the packed parking lot.

Lamla is already seated at the coffe place and I walk up to him. Ive changed my
attire in the bathroom to jeans and an off shoulder shirt and pumps. Ive tied my
hair into a high bun and wearing loop earrings and maroon lipstick. Im so hot. My
ring? Im tempted to take it off and put it in my purse. Kaloku when Melisizwe
handed me the gift, there was no ring on his finger so clearly, he doesnt care
anymore so why should I not take this ring off?
Anyway, we sit and talk for a while with Lamla. He tells me about his boyfriend
Mark and we take a lot of selfies. Guys, you know how Iphones camera is the shit?
Yho fam. I was so gorgeous on that phones camera yeer! Some magazine type
shit.
Him: How is marriage?
I just sigh and shrug
Me: Id rather wish I wasnt.
Him: Why? Is it horrible?
Me: No its not that. Just it would be so nice to experience what free-falling love is
like you know? Something thats not forced. Be a teenager man and enjoy life, not
someone strangers wife.
I smile at Lamla and he hugs me
Him: Im sorry babe.
Me: Its okay. Atleast his mom is nice to me so...
He nods and we walk around some more. We settle for Spur like the old times
and eat. After, he takes me to Shimansky Jewellers where he buys me a beautiful
simple necklace. We argue because I dont want it, its around R3000 but he buys it
anyway and forces me to wear it. Its so gorgeous against my neck. Later, we go to
table mountain and have a glass at the restuarant there, overlooking the whole
city. Lamla really knows how to spoil someone. I wish Melisizwe could be like this
too. Ha! Who am I kidding? Im sure he is like this with his true love. Fuck why did
he agree to this? I need to dig and find out so I can worm myself out of this
pathetic, embarrassing marriage.

After a long day, I get home and take a much needed relaxing bath. Lamla and I
are whatsapping non stop and laughing. During dinner, Im wearing Lamlas
necklace. He got us a his and her type of thing. I can see Melisizwe is fuming and
giving me nasty looks but I could not give two fucks. After dinner, I wash the
dishes and go to the room where I find Melisizwe pacing. He throws the empty
jewellery box at him
Him:What is this?
Me:(calmly) a necklace.
Him: So wena you go around accepting gifts from strangers? Did your boyfriend
buy you that?
He is roaring with anger and Im cool.
Me: No, my bestfriend Lamla bought me this. And I accepted it because he bought
this for me out of the goodness of his heart and not as an after thought or a way
to soothe his guilty consciounce.
With that being said, I walk off to the closet and he slams the door as he leaves.
Rha! Who the fuck does he think he is?

£16
~Melisizwe~
Im fuming with rage. Im literally shaking with anger.
Mama: Whats wrong baby? You look so mad.
Tata: Mxm. Whatever it is, he has no reason to be suka.
I give dad a death stare.
Me: Im fine ma. See you later, Im going out.
Tata: There you go again. Mkm I wonder how Kanyisa must feel knowing her
husband is not even trying. Mkm umntwanomntu.
With that being said, he walks out and heads upstairs. Is it 'piss Melisizwe off' day
today? Yeman! I go sit next to ma and lay on her lap. She plays with my hair, it
feels good.
Her: Meli?
Me: Ma?
Her: Why are you treating Kanyi like this?
Me: like how?
Her: Like some floozy with no emotion?
I attempt to move but she holds my head firmly.
Her: Ive seen how distraught she was this week and I know that must be your
doing. Did you call her at all?
Me: No.
Her: Why?.
Me: Ive been busy.
She lifts my head and I sit up straight.
Her: Even during the night? So busy you cant even ask how she is? You do realise
that shes young and unlike you, the best years of her life have been taken from
her? Melisizwe kuthen umphethi kanje umntwana wabantu(why are you treating
Kanyi like this)? Shes trying and you? Busy going on romantic get-aways with
Yonela while she sits and suffers in silence? SHE DOESNT DESERVE THIS FROM
YOU. Stop punishing her for your fathers doings.
With that said she stands and leaves. Dad comes downstairs in his drs coat and
briefcase. Guess he's been called in. Kaloku utata is a pediatrician and also
sometimes, delivers too. Kanyi comes into the lounge.
Kanyi: Tata, can you please drop me off?
Tata: You can use the car nje. Im running late my darling sorry.
She smiles
Her: Its okay. Thank you.
Dad rushes off to the kitchen
Me: Where you headed?
Her: Gym.
Oh?
Me: oh.
She gives me a fake smile and leaves.

Im sitting at the dinner table opposite Kanyi and shes not even looking at me.
Mama: Kanyi and Meli?
We both turn to look at her
Mama: My office after dinner.
Us: Okay ma.
Sim: ooooo! Iyhuuuwi! Alala dudu!
She says that shaking her hand. We all laugh. Mxm crazy child.
After dinner, we go to moms study.
She sits and we stand.
Her: Whats going on between you two?
Kanyi and I both say nothing.
Her: Ndiyathetha(Im talking to you)! Melisizwe, where is your wedding ring?
Fuck! Its in my car. How could I be so stupid.
Me: In my car.
Her: Why is it not in your finger? Is Kanyi married to your car?
I shake my head.
Her: and you Kanyisa? Whats going on?
Kanyisa: Nothing ma.
Her: Tell me the truth Kanyisa. Why havent you spoken to Meli this week?
Kanyisa: Because I respect myself enough to know when Im not wanted. I know
that uBhuti spends his evenings with uYonela so I respect his privacy.
Mama: But you're his wife.
Kanyi: With all due respect mama, thats all I am and will ever be. UYonela has
Bhuti's heart and soul. How could I ever compete with that? And why would I?
Knowing very well Ill lose in the end.
My heart breaks when I hear those words from her. Yho.
Mama: Kanyisa, please leave us. I want to talk to Melisizwe.
She nods and leaves.
Mama: Melisizwe, mntanam. What happened to you? When did ou become this
cold person he? If you dont fix this with Thando, you will never marry Yonela Im
telling you. Now get out.

In the room, my head is filled with all that Thando said in the office.
Me: What did you mean when you said thats all you'll ever be?
She turns to face me and frowns
Her: Pardon?
Me: What did you mean when you said that the only person you'll ever be is my
wife?
Her: I meant that you'll never love me or even pretend to. You'll never care for me
or even try. If its not your parents forcing you, then you dont even bother.
Me: What makes you think that?
Her: Your actions. They sing a different tune to your words.
Me: Thando. Im sorry...
Her: Please just dont. Just stop with your meaningless apologies Bhuti. They do
more harm than good.
Me: Then how am I going to fix this? Us?
Her: I dont know. Goodnight. Im really tired.
She turns over and sleeps
Im left in my thoughts as to how Im going to make this better. Make us work. Not
because of mom saying that I wont marry Yonela if I dont, but because Thando
does deserve better than what Im offering her.

~Thando~
I wake up alone in bed. Its Tuesday so Melisizwe mustve gone back to work. I go
through my daily routine and go out to the kitchen. Mama is already up wearing
shorts and a casual top. Well everyone is. I feel out of place.
Mama: Morning baby face.
I blush
Me: Molweni ma.
Her: Hayi go change you not going out like that. And take that doek off. I miss
your hair.
I smile and go to my room. I get in and look for my shorts. Theyre not too short.
Just above the knee and a shirt that slightly shows off my assests. I comb my hair
and wear loops. I wear my white chucks and loop earrings. I take a hair tie with
me and go out.
Siphe: Yhu inwele ezingaka babes(so much hair babes)
I smile
Me: Molweni.
Sis Nomsa and Sis Olwethu look at me and gasp
Them: Such flames babes.
We all laugh and Bhut Langa and the twins greet. I greet and go take Sim.
Me:Hi boo boo. Whats wrong?
She pouts and buries her head on my shoulder and cries. Other small kids come
through and Im introduced to them.
I take Sim upstairs and go to her room
Me: Whats wrong princess?
Her: Mommy doesnt want me to wear my boots.
Me: But its hot njena
Her: No its not.
Me: come Ill talk to mommy for you okay?
She nods and wipes her tears away. I get out her pink sandals and she wears
them. When I go back down, Melisizwe is standing there looking too good in his
jean shorts and navy vest. His shirt hugs his muscles so gorgeously, yummy!
Sim asks me to put her down and I do. Melisizwe excuses us and takes us out to
the pool area.

Him: You look good.

Me: So do you.
Him: Congrats. Mom showed me your symbols. 9 distinctions? Thats incredible.
I blush
Me: Thank you.
He takes my hand and leads me around the house. Theres a Audi SUV with a big
red bow on it. He hands me a small box
Him: Congrats.
Im shocked. Woah! Is this car for me?
I scream and clap and jump in one place.
Him: Can I get a hug atleast?
I practically jump on him and give him a huge hug and wrap my legs around his
waist. He chuckles in my ear. I move from his shoulder to his lips. They are so soft
and succulent damn. We kiss for a very long time. Slowly and passionately, tasting
each other in the process.
"Eeeeeeuw!" I giggle in Melisizwes mouth and pull away. I suddenly feel shy.
I unwrap my legs from him and step down. Guys, Melisizwe is a whole head and
shoulder taller than me. Anyway, he holds me and whispers in my ear
Him: Dont move. Or we'll scare the kids.
I turn to find his dick hard on his leg. Shit.
Him: This is all your doing.
I giggle and he pulls me closer to him. My back to him. Everyone comes around
and we drive out.

We all have a splendid day at the park having a picnic together. Then we all head
out to the beach. Sazi gives me a bikini to change in. Everyone is wearing beach
attire. Sis Nomsa gives me an extra sarong to wrap around my waist and Siphe
shades to wear. I tie ny hair up and I look so cute. We all take pics. Melisizwe is
with his brothers in the cars chatting and drinking. He doesnt want to go in to the
water with us.
Him: You look hella fine in this. Yho baby damn! Come lets go.
He takes my hand and we get into his car and drive off. We stop at this luxurious
hotel and he carries me in. Imagine! He says Im lighter than before and its
because of all the stress hes been putting me through. He feels bad and wants to
make it up to me. Anyway, we get inside the presidential suite upstairs and he
carries me in from the elevator.
Me: Wow this is so beautiful. Yho.
I walk around and hes on my tail.
Him: I didnt bring you here to look at the view.
Me: Then why did you bring me here?
I say with my hands on my hips.
Him: For this...
He comes closer and kisses me while his hands take off my bikini top and his
fingers find my cooch. I groan and press my boobs on his chest...

After the heavy love making, we lay on the floor. I start giggling.
Him: Whats so funny?
Me: Nothing.
Heres the things nhe? I know you guys think that Im giving myself too easy to
Melisizwe but the truth is, I love him. With all that I am. I know its a one-sided
love and he may not feel the same about me, but I cant help it. He has my heart,
my body and soul. How stupid right?

£17

☆4 month later..☆
~Melisizwe~
The past months have been splendid with Thando. We have gone on countless
dates, to the movies,flights to Joburg and dinner in restuarants. I still havent said I
love her too because Im not sure if I do. Do I have strong, unexplainable feelings
for her that seem to grow daily? Yes. Yes I do. But to tell her would seem a bit far
fetched. And besides, I love Yonela so much. Yesterday, I went shopping for
engagement rings because Im going to propose to Yonela tonight. I want us to get
married soon so all this sneaking around between us can stop. I hate making her
feel like my mistress because shes not. Today marks our 1 year anniversary and
Im beyond nervous. Theres a knock on my door and I tell the person to enter.
The door opens and Yonela comes in. Looking all sexy in her jeans and top with
heels. She has braids in her hair that is tied up in a bun. She looks like shes been
crying. I stand up and go to her
Me: Hey baby whats wrong?
She throws her arms around me and lays her head on my shoulder. Im beginning
to worry.
Me: Please baby, you making me worry.
Theres a knock, and Stuart comes in without waiting for an answer. Behind him is
Thando. Fuck! How awkward.
Stuart: Ill come back later.
Thando just stands turns and walks away. Fuck... what do I do now?

After some time, Yonela pulls away and smiles at me. She opens her purse and
pulls some small picture-like card out and hands it to me
Me: Uhm... what am I looking at?
Her: Your child. Im pregnant.
I gasp and look at her, then the card, then her again. I scream and pick her up and
spin her around. Shes giggling so sweetly. When I put her down, I give her one hell
of a smooch. She pulls away
Her: You not mad?
Me: Why would I be?
Her: You know. Considering the fact that im not your wife.
Me: In my heart, you were always my wife.
She smiles and a tear falls down her face.
Me: How far along are you?
Her: 3 months.
Im shocked
Her: I didnt know baby. Just found out a couple minutes ago.
Me: Doesnt matter. All that matters is that we know now.
I kiss her so passionately. She pulls away and says shes got to go back to work but
will see me tonight. As soon as she leaves,i find myself dancing and jumping
around my room. Oh my gosh, Im going to be a dad.

~Thando~
After seeing Melisizwe with Yonela embracing like that, my heart just tore out of
its socket. My eyes are burning from crying and I can hardly see the road. But by
Grace, I get to my apartment and crying my heart out in bed. I cry until I fall
asleep.
When I wake up, I have a head splitting headache and it looks dark outside. Im
too tired and emotionally wrecked to cook so Ill go get Romans Pizza. I get out of
bed and look at the time, its almost 7pm and no missed calls from Meli. Clearly Im
not important. I grab my car keys and go. I find myself driving to Summerstrand to
me and Melis house. Yeah we kind of live together, by that I mean, during the
weekends if I dont have class. During weekdays, I stay at an apartment in
Stellenbosch because its a waste of petrol and time consuming to drive from
Strand everyday to Stellenbosch.

I get to the house and find that its a bit dark inside. I go in and I find rose petals
scattered all over the floor leading somewhere. I follow the trail, to the outside
area. Through the sliding door, I see Melisizwe on one knee with a ring in hand.
Oh my gosh. There is violins playing and little fairy lights shining all around. Its a
dream that I can never get to live. Luckily, he doesnt see me so I turn on my heel
and run out, slamming the front door behind me. I start my engine and drive out
as fast as I can. Im uncontrollably sobbing. This is it. This is the end of the
beginning. I get to my apartment and call Erin, my new best friend.
Her: Hello
Me: Can I come over. Please.
Her: No problem
Me: Please pick me up. Im in no state to drive.
Her: Be there now.
I sit in my car and continue sobbing and screaming. I kbew that this was going to
happen but I didnt think it would hurt this bad. I thought me and Meli were finally
progressing forward as a married couple. But it was all a facade to cover up his
real intention. Meli has never loved me and today proves it all. I wail harder.
Theres a knock on my window and I find Erin standing there looking so sad. I climb
out and fall into her arms.
Her: Whats wrong?
I shake my head and say nothing.

At her house, Erin gives me pizza and wings. But I want more, so we go to KFC and
get dunked wings and ice cream.
Her: Babe you still dont want to talk about it?
Me: My husband is marrying the love of his life. And Ill soon be tossed aside like
trash.
I say that with no emotion whatsoever.
Erin: Dont you have a say in all of this?
I shake my head no.
Erin: Babe Im so sorry. Is there something I can do
Me: Can I hide out here with you for the next couple of days? I promise to
contribute towards rent and petrol.
She laughs
Her: No problem. But no to the rent and yes to petrol.
I smile at her and we end up watching a movie together. We both dont have class
the next day so we chill and go to the mall and watch a movie. I feel so sick as of
late. If I dont vomit, I feel nauseous the whole day and kak tired too. Erin has
been hinting I do a pregnancy test but Ive been brushing her off.
But today I think Im going to go. Im not feeling any better.
Me: Lets go to the gynae. Im not feeling good.
Her: Yes.
We go to the doc and I pee in a cup and he draws some blood.
Him: Well congratulations. Youre pregnant.
Im numb. Dumb! Fuck!
Me: How long?
Him: Lay down and lets check.
We check and it concludes 9 weeks. Still early. Thats two months right?
Erin is over the moon and Im just silent. Sigh.

I stay camped at Erins house and Meli is calling non stop. I dont answer at all and
hes left countless sms' asking where I am and that hes worried. Psht, please!
Worried my left ass. On Thursday, I text him telling him if he wants to see me he'll
find me at his parens place on Friday evening. Monday is test week and Im more
than prepared. Ive been studying my ass off so Im just going to see the parents on
Friday and come back Saturday evening so I can brush up on my work on Sunday.
And also I want to break the news to everyone.
The drive to Cape Town from Stellies is long and strainuous on me, yho. I get
home to find a lot of cars parked outside except for Melisizwes. When I open the
door, Sazi attacks me with a hug. Sim comes to me screaming and I pick her up
and spin her around. I greet everyone whos here, which is Melis brothers, their
wives and kids. I greet everyone and help out in the kitchen
Siphe: You so yellow. Stellies ikuphethi kakuhle( Stellies agrees with you)
I blush
Me: Enkosi.
Olwethu: You not preggies?
I laugh and shake my head. Im not ready to tell them maybe over dinner?
Nomsa: Mmmmm!! We'll see about that
Me: Yes we'll see.
Oh gosh they can see right through me.

After a while, Meli walks in hand-in-hand with Yonela. My heart sinks right there
and Im tongue tied. They greet everyone and Yonela greets me
Her: Hey sister-wife.
Me: Hello.
Her: You good?
Me: Well thank you and yourself?
Her: Im good.
Me: Congratulations. I know how much you love each other.
All eyes are on us and Im as cool as a cucumber. If they expect drama from me,
then sorry to disappoint.
Her: Thank you.
She winks and smiles at me. Its a devious smile and mine is genuine.
We all sit and eat during dinner. Conversation is flowing and Im quiet. My heart is
in my mouth and my soul hanging by a thread. My thoughts are disturbed by
Melisizwe clinking a glass. He rises and all our attention turns to him.
Him: Thank you everyone for coming...
I tune out for a bit wethu, at his long ass speech but my attention catches on
again
Him: Im hear to announce my engagement to Yonela Khesa and also bring to your
attention that we'll be expecting our first child together.
I feel air leave my body and come back like a ton of bricks to my chest. I can feel
the tears coming but I halt them in their tracks. Siphe, Olwethu and Nomsas eyes
are on me but I choose to remain cool. Theres quiet for a bit and then
congratulations flow around. Sim comes and sits on my lap and lays on my chest. I
tell her to go to her mom quickly I need the bathroom. She obliges.
Me: Congratulations, uhm, excuse me.
I dont wait for their replies as I get up, grab my purse on the kitchen counter and
go get in my car and drive off. I see Melisizwe and his father in the rearview
mirror as I drive away.

Im parked at the beach and I sit near the sand. Im alone here and I let my
emotions out. I scream out in frustration and just sink to the floor. Tata, why have
you done this to me?

£18
~Thando~
After crying for some time, I finally gather myself up and go get some ice cream.
My phone has a lot of missed calls and messages asking where I am? I get Sazi and
Sim some chocolates, chips, juice and airtime for Sazi and drive back home. I get
inside and find the cars still there. I open and Sim jumps on me
Her: Where were you? Why did you leave me?
Me: I needed some space angel. But Im all yours now. You can sleep with me
tonight nhe?
She smiles and nods. I carry her into the lounge.
Mama: Thando, please sit
Me: No mama, Im tired. I just want to rest.
Yonela and Melisizwe are seated looking at me and I walk out with Sim on my hip.
We go to my room and we bath together. Shes splashing and telling me about
crech and Im laughing.
Her: Next week is my birthday, are you coming?
Me: Of course baby. Wouldnt miss it for the world
Her: What you going to get me?
I laugh
Me: Its a suprise kaloku.
Her: Oh.
Me: You getting older now. Hey I got you something in my car. Lets go fetch it.
Her: Will you carry me?
I giggle
Me: Okay.
I wear a gown and cover my head with a doek. Meli walks in while Im busy
dressing Sim and laughing with her.
Him: Im going to drop off Yonela then come back.
Me: Oh.
Him: We need to talk
Me: I dont think theres anything left to say. Your actions have already spoken for
you.
He shakes his head and turns to leave.
Sim: Does this mean I cant sleep here?
Me: Of course you can.
I pinch her cheeks and we go out. She insisted I wrap one of my doeks on her so I
have and we look like mom and daughter. How cute.
We go out and find umama saying goodbye to everyone and Im just mute. I move
my car because Ive blocked Bhut Kamva and park at the far end. Sim is with me. I
take out the plastic and we go in together. Sazi is so quiet and so is Suzi. I give
them both their airtimes and go to bed.

In the middle of the night Im woken up by a sharp pain, Meli is not in bed with
me, just Sim. At first I ignore it, but there it is again. This time much stronger, I
find myself scream.
Me: Sim! Sim! Sim!
Her: hmmm?
Me: Baby please wake up.
She opens her eyes and I attempt to get up but its too painful. I reach behind me
and switch on the lamp.
Me: Go call mommy baby! Quickly Sim.. aaaaah!!!
I scream in agony. Yho now that was a huge one and i feel my pants are wet. I
touch and when I retrieve my hand theres blood.
Sim is shocked. Oh this is going to scar her for life. She gets up and she too is
tainted with blood. Oh no.
She runs upstairs to her moms room and I can hear her shout her moms name.
Her mom screams when she sees her. Probably thinks the blood is hers but Sim is
shouting my name.
Her: No Mommy!!! Its not me. Its Sisi! Daddy wake up!!! Daddy!
Sim is a very demanding child. She can scream this house down if she has to.

My door bursts open and mama and tata barge in. I open the sheets and mama
gasps so does utata.
Me: Tata please help me. Mama ndiyanicela( Im begging you).
Mama starts to cry and tata lifts me up.
Tata: Uphi lomnqundu unguMelisizwe(wheres that fucker, Melisizwe)?
Me: Akabuyanga(he didnt come back).
Im crying so much I cant help myself. Mama is in the back beside me brushing my
hair and holding my hand.
Me: I wanted to tell you. I really did Mama. But... but...
Tata: Its okay. Its not your fault. Mama is crying
Her: Im so sorry Thandokazi. I failed you. Im sorry baby child. Please forgive me.
Forgive me.
We get to the hospital and im taken to emergency immediately.
After a while, the dr confirms that I miscarried and Im cleaned up after. I turn over
and roll myself into a ball and just ball myself to sleep.

I wake up with Melisizwes voice brushing my hair and apologising

Him: Thando, please forgive me. I never meant for all of this to end up like this. Im
sorry for bringing you pain like this. Please...
I turn and Im eye to eye with him. His eyes are red and he looks like hes been
crying.
Me: Leave!
Hes taken aback. He didnt expect this from me.
Him: Thando please dont..
Me: Melisizwe Mvelase, get out. Havent you done enough? What more do you
want? My soul? Take it. Youve already destroyed my heart and tramped all over
it. Now I say it again, leave and go to your precious Yonela and go live your happy
ever after. Kakade, why are you here? He? Just go. Now!
He sighs and wipes away a falling tear and walks away. Umama walks in and Im
just numb. I no longer have the energy to cry anymore. Im drained. She hugs me
and cries on my shoulder.
Her: Im sure you hate me.
Me: I could never. Even if you threw me to the dogs, Id still never hate you.
Her: Im sorry. Im so sorry.
Im beyond helpless. Ive lost my first baby. I wonder what it could've been. Maybe
it would've been a baby boy or girl.

Im discharged the following day and Im dreading going back to the house. When
the gate opens, there are a flood of cars. Fuck! Is nothing secretive in this family? I
step out of the car, still in a bit of pain but its not something that I cant handle. I
walk slowly to the house, dreading to go in. I open the door and go to the lounge,
where I find Melis face between his hands and the family in silence. Sim is sitting
on the ground playing with her dolls. I go in. Siphe looks at me, so does Nomsa
and Olwethu. Their eyes are red and Siphes nose is pink
Me: Hello.
Them:Hi.
Sim: Hi sisi. Are you feeling better?
Me: Yeah. Can I talk to you please baby cakes?
She come over and I go on my knees and hug her.
Me: Im sorry for what you saw baby.
Her: Why were you bleeding like that?
My words get caught in my mouth and I dont know what to say anymore. My
tears flow unwelcome
Her: Is it me?
Me: No! No baby and dont you for a second ever think that okay?
Her: Promise?
Me: Promise.
Her: So you better now?
Me: Yes Im 100% better.
Her: Okay.
She wraps her little arms around me and so do I. I pick her up and go to the room
with her. I take another shower, a long, scorching hot shower and I come out. Sim
is not there but Meli is. Sitting with his head down. He looks so good but I hate
him to the core.
Him: I know you hate me.
Me: Can you blame me?
He shakes his head, no.

I change into a dress and wrap my head in a doek and get ready to go deal with
everyone. Melisizwe looks like shit but I couldnt care less. Yes he also lost a child
but it can never hurt him the way it hurts me. Atleast he gets another from
Yonela, and where am I getting another one? I brought a small back-pack and put
it in my car. I go back in and help with lunch. The mood is somber around the
house and Im just vibing. Nomsa, Olwethu and Siphe give me a long group hug,
crying but Im too numb to all of this. Lunch is being prepared and Im just not in
the mood. Melisizwe wont dare speak to me bevause he knows what hes done is
the cause of this hollowness in my soul.
Mama: You going back today?
Me: Ewe ma.
Her: Why?
Me: Test week next week so I cant skip at all. Im writing everyday next week.
Her: Okay.
She looks so terrible and I think she blames herself for Melisizwes doings. But ke
at the end of the day, she cant monitor him 24/7. Melisizwe is a grown man who
makes his own decisions. He chose to not talk to me first before proposing, he
chose to not tell me that hes planning on telling the family, he chose not to tell
me aside about Yonelas pregnancy and he chose not to come back last night.
Maybe if he had told me before hand, all of this would not have happened. But
ke, in the end, Im the one whos stupid for falling for a taken man who used me for
sex. And now, Im paying the price.
Mama: Kanyisa? Hello?
Im sittng at the dinner table and completely zoned out. I didnt realise that my
tears are falling down my face, I wipe them and look at umama.
Me: Ma?
Her: Dont you want to go and lie down?
Me: No thank you.
Siphe: Please Kanyi.
She gently squeezes my hand.
Me: Im okay. Really.
I give her a reassuring smile and look at my plate. Its empty. Im in no mood for
food. But being around everyone is helping a bit.
Sim: Sis Kanyi?
I look at her and smile
Me: Yes baby?
She comes and sits on my lap. She whispers, rather loudly, in my ear.
Her: Well, remember when you were making lunch with mommy and everyone?
I nod
Her: Yeah well I went to take my nap and I dreamed a little boy said that I must
tell you that he loves you and Bhuti. And its not your fault he's gone. But you'll
always be his mommy in heaven.
My heart clenches and I cry holding little Sim, who looks so confused. There is no
way shes making this up. No way!
£19
~Melisizwe~
Things were never supposed to turn out like this. Everything is spiralling out of
control and its all my fault. When utata called me to the hospital, I didnt expect
what I heard. And worse of all, Thando blames me. And why shouldnt she? Ive
caused her nothing but pain, but this is the worst. The way she threw me out
confirmed my suspicion, she absolutely hates me. Im crushed inside out.
But you know what pains me most? That little Sim was the one to witness it all.
And where was I? Laying beside Yonela, brushing her belly.
Sim: Are you crying because of me Sisi?
Thando: No baby. Thank you for telling me your dream
Sim: Its a pleasure. Are you leaving today?
Thando nods
Sim: Is it because you were in hospital?
Thando: No, because I have to go to school on Monday.
Sim: Oh. But you promise to come to my birthday?
Thando: I wouldnt miss it for the world kid.
Sim: No, say promise
Thando laughs through her tears
Thando: I promise.
Sim: And to bring presents?
Thando: And to bring presents. What do you want for your birthday?
Sim whispers, loudly at that, in Thandos ear that she wants a unicorn. I find myself
smiling at the thought that this is going to be me soon.

In the room, I watch Thando pack.

Me: Are you okay driving back?
She says nothing and carries on doing what shes doing.
Me: I didnt mean for all of this to happen Thando. Please dont shut me out.
Her: Melisizwe...
I know when she calls me by my full name Im in trouble.
Me: Baby..
Her: Dont baby me. Dont you dare! Khona what are you doing here?
She looks at me with such disgust. Ouch!
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Why arent you with the love of your life? Celebrating your engagement and
baby he?
Me: Haibo Thando how can I when we just lost our baby?
Her: I lost a baby. ME! NOT YOU. ME!
Me: But he was part of me too.
She laughs, sarcastically and shakes her head.
Her: Right. Funny how when I, no we, needed you, you werent there. Yazi you
make me sick. To the core. Tell me, do you enjoy seeing me break apart? Cry?
Hurt? Humiliated?
Me: No.
Her: Then why do you do it? Do you know how embarrassed I was to find out that
youre engaged? And umithisile ngaphezulu(And got her pregnant to)? Infront of
EVERYONE? You dont even have the decency to call me and tell me aside on what
you were planning?
I keep quiet and keep my head bowed. I feel something hit my chest and hear the
door slam. When i look on my lap, its Thandos wedding ring. Oh no. This cant be
over. Not now,not ever.
~Thando~
Its so hard to say goodbye to little Sim. Especially after what shes witnessed. I
pray that it doesnt affect her in future because shes to small to be traumatised by
all of this.
The drive to Stellenbosch is depressing and cold. I drive to Erins apartment and
call her to opem for me at the gate. She does and I go in. I go up to her floor and
knock. As soon as she opens
Her: Hey baby mama
I let the tears fall. She engulfs me in a huge bear hug and I cry on her chest. In
between tears, I tell her what happened and she cries with me too. Theres a
knock on her door and her boyfriend, Jason, comes in
Him: Hi boo boo. Whats wrong?
Thats my cue to leave.
I assure Erin that Ill be okay and I really just want to rest. But shes more than
welcome to come Sunday. She agrees eventually. I hug Jason and leave. My
phone rings and its Melisizwe. Aaarg what the fuck does he want from me?
Me: Hello?
Him: Where are you?
Me: My apartment.
Him: Well Im here and youre not so tell me the truth. Are you with your
boyfriend?
Me: Youre so full of shit you know that?!
I drop the call. Im fuming with anger and as soon as I get to my apartment,
uzondibona uba ndibhinqe ntoni!(He'll see what Im capable of).

I stop by KFC and get some food for him and I. Gosh I dont know why I still care nx
and drive to my apartment. I park my car and walk to the second floor. I live in a
bachelor pad. Its really pretty and big and kind of manly. I find Meli seated at the
door with his head between his legs. I clear my throat and he looks up.
Him: Hi
I roll my eyes and open the door. He comes in too. I open the fridge and pour
myself some juice. He comes around and opens the cupboards looking for plates.
Him: Can I sleep here tonight?
I just look at him.
Me: You pay the rent so...
Him: But its your living space.
Me: You do as you please anyway so it doesnt matter.
I know that mustve hit him where it hurts but its true. Its around 7 so I go get
changed into pjs and take my books out to my study corner.
Him: You going to study?
Me: Yeah.
He remains mute. Good, cause if he were to reply I dont know what Id do. Im so
angry that I can feel my hands shaking.
Him: So should I go?
Me: Yes
Him: Okay. But Ill be back tomorrow
Me: For?
Him: What do you mean? For you.
Me: Why?
Him: Haibo Thando?
Me: No, dont haibo me. Go to Yonela and leave me alone please. Just let me be.
Please Melisizwe just go.
He comes closer and holds me. He whispers in my ear,
Him: I love you.
I just laugh and pull away.
Him: Why you laughing?
Me: At the lies that you trying to feed me.
Him: Its not a lie. Thando I do love you.
Me: Mxm some love that must be.
He looks at me, hurt but I couldnt care at all. He turns and leaves.

~Melisizwe~
Wow. I just told Thando I loved her and she laughed. Yho the chest pains Im
experiencing, are too much. But I guess I deserved that. You shouldve seen the
way she looked at me as she said: "some love that must be". She looked so anry
and disappointed, but her eyes were filled with so much hate, it pains me to the
core. I have only myself to blame for all of this but I will not give up on Thando.
Her and I will work through this. It doesnt matter how long it takes but I will not
lose her I refuse. Ive left her wedding ring on the counter and left. Ive booked into
Protea Hotel. I cant go home. My phone rings, its Yonela
Me: Hi babe
Her: Hi love. Where you?
Me: With Thando
Her: Oh. Okay. When you coming back here?
Me: Monday.
Her: Oh. But I miss you.
Me: Yeah but she needs me babe.
Her: But I need you too.
Me: Haike Yonela. I spend the whole week with you and only see her weekends,
be reasonable.
Her: Mxm.
She drops the call. Sigh. Ill deal woth her Monday. Its time I focused on Thando
for a change.

The morning, I wake up and shower. I have no clothes to change into so I go to

the mall and buy clothes from Markham and undies from Woolworths and
change. I spot a beautiful necklace from American Swiss and buy it for Thando. I
hope she takes it this time around.
I drive to her apartment and knock. No answer. I knock again and I hear a soft
'coming' inside. She opens the door, wearing her gown and her hair a mess. When
she pulls the door wider, her gown opens and I see a bit of her breast. Fuck.
Me: Morning.
Her: Hi.
Me: No hug? No kiss?
Her: No.
She says that with such annoyance that I decide not to push.
Me: Get ready, we're going out for breakfast.
She sighs and retreats to the bedroom. I follow behind her and sit on the ready-
made bed. She takes off her gown and I must tell myself not to get tempted by
her body. I look away.
Her: Im done.
I lift my head and shes wearing jeans and a top. With pumps and one of my
jackets. Hey, I guess hope is not lost after all.

We head out to Summerstrand and eat breakfast, in complete silence.

Me: Thandokazi?
Her: Hmm?
Me: There is no amount of sorries I can say to fix this. Us. But I am sorrh for
breaking your heart and tearing your soul. It was never my intention to make
things turn out like this. Yes, I shouldve consulted you first before going to the
family and I am truelly sorry about that. From now on, Ill talk to you first before I
do anything, as my first wife.
She say nothing and nods
Me: And when I said I loved you izolo, I meant it. Not because we're grieving the
loss of our son but because I truelly mean it when I say I love you. I do. And all I
ask is that you give us another chance. Give me another chance to make things
right between us and be the married couple we are. Please sthandwa sam, dont
give up on us so easily. Im begging you. I cant lose you. Not now.
She looks at me with a tear falling down her face and I kiss her cheek and wipe
the tear away.
She clears her throat and gives me a weak smile.
Her: I just need time.
Me: And thats good enough for me.
I pull her by her chin and plant a kiss on her lips. She responds. When I pull away,
she pulls me tighter and deepens the kiss.

£20
~Thando~
Im lying in bed thinking about my breakfast with Melisizwe. Will he ever change
or was I just a love struck fool who was too scared to stand her ground? I mean, I
kissed him. Why? I cannot begin to explain my reasons because I had non. I just
wish he didnt love Yonela then maybe Id believe him when he says he loves me
which by the way he said again before I got out of his car, hours ago. I put my
hand on my belly as I think about my baby boy. My tears come unwelcome and
sting my already paining eyes. I dont think anyone could ever fathom the grief you
get when you lose your first child or any child for that matter. A part of your soul
gets ripped out of your body and your heart shatters into infinate pieces. I roll
over to my side and let out a body breaking wail.

Nicki Minaj's- Dungeon Dragon wakes me up in the morning and I drag my heavy
body to the shower. Once Im out I wear jeans, hoodie and sneakers. Im in no
mood to make an effort cause Im drained. I cant believe Im writing the whole of
this week. Well except for Friday, thank Goodness cause I plan to get fucked up
drunk Thursday night, so I can remove this evergrowing pain in my soul. I grab and
apple and make my way out. As I open the door, Im met by Erin holding two cups
of coffee and a puffy face. Shes been crying
Me: Hey. Whats wrong?
Her: Really? We just lost a baby how can you ask that?
See why I love this girl! I wish Melisizwe was like her. Sigh.
Me: Oh yeah. I hope I didnt ruin your date night.
Her: Strangely, your grief brought me and Jason closer.
Me: And here you were, ready to dump him
She giggles
Her: I thought he only wanted the cookie jar mos. But no, he was scared of me.
I laugh out loud. Its been a while since Ive laughed like this.
Me: Shame poor guy. But Im happy for you. I wish I could experience what youre
going through.
Her: Yeah me too.
I just break down and cry on Erins shoulder. Im so tired of pain, I just want to be
happy.
Her: It will get better my friend. It doesnt rain forever. Some days will be sunny
and others cloudy. Its up to you what you do when the weather changes.
She kisses my forehead and hugs me tighter. We go and get in her car and listen
to music the whole ride to school.
The exam is hectic but I studied hard so Im glad I went in there prepared. I drive
to Summerstrand and go to the mall to shop for Sims gift. In one of the jewellery
stores, I find a necklace for moms and daughters so I get one for me and Sim. Its a
heart locket so I ask the shop assistant for assistance. I want to put a pic of me
and her in hers and the same in mine. I go to the printers and print out the pics
and go back to the jewellery store and he says I should come collect it on
Wednesday. I go to the toy store and luckily I get a horse teddy bear with a horn.
And then go to a kids clothing store and buy her a pink dress and heels(she loves
them). Sim is a beautiful, dark beauty with dimples and long lashes. Gorgeous I
tell you, I wish she were mine. At the mall I bump into Yonela and Melisizwe. My
heart drops but I keep my composure. I dont know how Im managing to keep
cool. Melisizwe looks... different. I smile
Yonela: Hey.
Me: Hello.
Her: Fancy seeing you here during the week?
Gosh I want to roll my eyes but I wont. Composure babes, composure.
I just smile.
Me: Well it was nice seeing you, enjoy the rest of your afternoon.
I give them my sweetest smile and walk past them.

Im pacing in my apartment but why? Shes going to marry him soon so might as
well get used to the idea. But she must not fuck with me, cause I can get very
nasty, very quickly and she'll end up not marrying him. Nx!
After supper, I sit at my desk and continue studying until late. Theres a knock on
my door and its Lamla. Baaaaaaabes!
Me: Honey pie.
Him: Dont you dare. What kind of friend are you?
Me: What did I do?
Him: You lose your baby and you dont even tell me.
Me: I wanted to tell you when I was strong enough. I dont want to break
anymore.
Lamla engulfs me in a hug and cries on my shoulder. Its a painful sight because
hes always bubbly and cheerful around me. Him and his boyfriend, Mark. They
treat me like their baby sis and always make sure Im good.
After a while Lamla pulls away and wipes his tears
Him: Please Thando, come to me when you not okay. I may joke around and be a
nuisance at times, but thats because I prefer to be the reason for your smile, not
your tears. But that doesnt mean you shouldnt come to me when you hurt. Im
here for you no matter what okay?
I nod and he wipes away an escaping tear with his thumb. He kisses me on the
corner of my mouth.
Him:I love you
Me: I love you too.
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
We both turn to see a mad Melisizwe at the door. Oh how irritating. Im tempted
to roll my eyes.

~Melisizwe~
Is she fucking serious? Shes cheating on me? Really.
Her:(calmly) hello Melisizwe
Guy: Oh is this the hubby?
Yes Motherfucker. I am the hubby.
Me: Care to explain why you're kissing my wife.
Her: Lamla, Ill see you tomorrow. Pick me up so we can catch up.
Oh is this the 'friend' Lamla? Nx!
Lamla: Sure. By the way, Mark is the one who insisted on the wine.
Wine? What wine? Thando blushes. Shes fucking blushing? In my presence. The
level of disrespect from this woman is astonishing. Lamla comes my way and I
move from the door and he leaves. I close the door behind him
Her: What do you want Melisizwe? Im studying.
Is she joking? She must be joking.
Me: Is that your boyfriend?
She rolls her eyes, annoyed. And it takes all the strength in me not to throw the
glass on the table against the wall and be angry.
Her: No. Thats my gay friend Lamla, who was here to comfort me.
Me: mmm... I hope for your sake youre telling the truth
Her: Hehake. Unlike you, I dont sneak around and do shady shit. So if you can do
me a favour, please kindly excuse me, Im writing tomorrow and if I cant be a
mother, atleast let me be a graduate.
Yho that last line punches into my heart and it drops to my stomach. Thando has a
way of making me feel small, yer!
Me: I came to check on you.
Her: Why? To see if I havent crumbled from seeing you all lovey-dovey with your
soulmate? Nah boo, Im good.
Hey! Thando is throwing some hard punches my way and I have no choice but to
take them, cause I do deserve them. I remain mute, unable to speak. What can I
say after that big blow?
Me: Cant I come check up on you without being scrutinized?
Her: You can but you normally dont hence the scrutiny. The only time you ever
come here is for a great fuck then you leave me like Im some loose whore.
Yho! Ouch! What was that for?
Me: Let me go before I do something Ill regret.
Her: Please.
I put the grocery bag on the kitchen counter, give Thando one last look and leave.
Wow! So much for trying...

~Thando~
Rha! Yeere Melisizwe thinks he can have the best of both worlds nhe? Hey! Hayi
let me focus on these books before I dwell on that issue further.
Thursday rolls around and Im excited that Im done with tests for now. Its the end
of May today, which means pay day! My moms policy paid out a sum of R400 000,
which Ive put into my bank to pay me out R1000 every month end for
entertainment. Melisizwe pays for my everything and gives me an allowance of
R5000 whenever I want it. The R1000 from mom, I sometimes end up not needing
so I put it in my savings with the rest. Anyway, Erin and I go to the liquor store and
stock up on some booze but not a lot. Enough for pre drinks as we will be heading
out to Cubana and all the other clubs around Stellies. Im excited cause since Ive
been to varsity I havent gone clubbing cause things were good with Meli. Well,
that was then this is now. We have some light sandwiches and predrinks while we
get dressed.

At Cubana Erin and I are dancing out hearts out and smoking oka. Fuck. This is the
best time Ive had in a long time. Well, youthlike fun. Im laughing and flirting and
being crazy. The joys of being young. I see an older married couple come in and
dance together. Cute man. I take shots and Im dancing them away.
Me: Erin lets go. Im tired
Her: I thought youd never say. My place nhe?
Me: Yeah.
Erins place is closer so we go there.
We laying on the bed, eating chips and ice cream and laughing , when Erin starts
kissing me. Im shocked.
Her: Thando, let me make you feel good please. Make me better too.
I nod and she takes my clothes off and I take hers off too. Shes kissing my neck
and boobs and caressing my body. Its heavenly. She eventually reaches my
paradise and licks me really good. Its heavenly. Her tongue circling my clit and her
fingers moving in and out of me. Its indescribable. My legs quicken beneath me
and before I know it, i let out a masskve orgasm, splashing her face in the process.
She smiles and gets on top of me grinding her body up towards my mouth. She
sits on my face, her pussy directly on my mouth and she starts grinding. I slip my
tongue inside her hole and move it up and down.
Her: Yes baby, tongue fuck me, yeah.
It turns me on so I grab her legs and lower her down, sitting up in the process. As
soon as shes on her back, I finer fuck her hard. She grinds and screams and cums
on my fingers. Damn.
She rolls over and takes out a dildo. Its a dual pleasure dildo and rolls over and
slides it into her pussy, her legs spread wide over her head
Her: Come ride on me.
I get on top and straddle her, sliding the dildo in. It feels so good
Her: Fuck me hard.
She grabs my ass and I start moving. Fuck, you shouldve heard the moans and
groans that came from our mouths as we fucked each other. When I was nearing,
she flipped me over and fucked me till my pussu burned. I had multiple orgasms
that left me crashing on top of her. Damn that was good.

£21
~Thando~
I wake up to a naked Erin wrapped around me. What is it with her and Melisizwe?
I gently untangle myself and stand to go pee. I have a large hangover, thats got
my head splitting in two. Once in the bathroom, I shower and come out, Erin is
still sleeping. I get dressed and grab my car keys and go.
I get to my apartment and Meli is already there. A sudden wave of guilt goes
through my body but is quickly replaced with a longing and hunger for him. He
looks so good standing next to his car. I get out of mine and walk into the
building.
Him: Where were you?
Me: Out.
Him: Why didnt you sleep here?
Me: Because I was out.
I want to laugh so bad but I wont. He grabs my arm
Him: Wheres your wedding ring?
Me: Here at home.
Him: You really testing my patience nhe?
I say nothing except make that "mngqca" sound. Im too hungover for this shit.
Me: Why are you here anyway?
Him: You're so cheeky nhe? Thando Im warning you!
Me: Or what? You going to hit me? Take away my schooling? Go ahead Bhuti.
Youve already broken me so just finish me off. Yhu hayi ube undingxolela ndine
bhabhalaza( busy making a noise whilst Im hungover)
Him: Uyasela ngoku?(You drink now)
Me: Ewe kaloku. I must to relieve my ever aching heart. Knowing Im second best
by force. Watching the man I love, love someone else. Watch something that will
never happen to me happen to someone else. I saw you propose to her. In OUR
home.
I started to cry, I was fuming with anger. I wanted to kick him out but I wont. Not
this time. I want him to see how much hes broken me, how much of a love-sick
fool hes turned me into.
~Melisizwe~
Seeing Thando cry and being the cause of her tears hurts me, deeply. I dont know
how to fix this anymore. Maybe if I let her go, she'll be happy and I can stop
hurting. But as much as I want to, I cant. My heart and soul wont let me. Im
drawn to her, spiritually. Something I dont have with Yonela. I find myself doing
what Ive never done before. Praying for my woman and strangely, I almost always
pray for Thando.
Me: Thando...
She lifts up her hand and shakes her head.
Her: Please dont Melisizwe. Please dont feed me anymore of your lies. Im tired of
them. For once, just tell me the truth.
Me: the truth about what?
Her: Do you honestly and truelly love me?
Me: Yes.
I answer in a heart beat because its the truth. She nods and walks off. Probably
going to change. I go to the kitchen and fix her a hangover drink. Works magic
with my brothers so it will surely work for her. I walk into the bedroom and shes
changing into a dress.
Me: Here...
Her: Thanx. What is it?
Me: Hangover drink.
She smells it and pulls a face.
Her: Euw! Whats in it?
Me: You dont want to know. Just drink.
She swallows hard and looks at me, then the drink. She pinches her nose and
gulps the drink. She pulls a face and holds her mouth
Her: I think Im going to throw up.
Me: Dont. Wait, Im coming. Just dont throw up.
I go to the kitchen and get her some juice and honey. I walk back to the room and
her hand is still on her mouth, shes gagging.
Me: Here.
She takes the juice and drinks it. Then squeezes honey on her finger and sucks on
it. Damn! I find myself moaning. Shit! I instinctively turn and walk away, not
before I hear her giggle.

The drive back home is quiet with only music playing between us. I reach over and
lock my hand with hers. She turns, smiles and holds my hand firmer. Seems like
not all hope is lost. As we near Cape Town, she speaks
Her: Bhuti.
Me: Hmm?
Her: Can I go sleep at a hotel please?
I look at her, searching for reasons in her eyes.
Her: Im not ready to sleep in that room, that bed, the house. Its all a little too
much too soon. Please
Me: Its okay. Ill book us in.
Her: No just me. I want to be on my own please.
Me: Okay. But Ill call you okay?
She goes quiet. And looks out the window. I sigh. Its time I stepped up. For real
this time no more bullshit. I call a hotel and book her in. We get to the hotel and I
help her settle in.
Her: Please tell Sim that Ill be at her party tomorrow okay?
Me: Okay. I guess Ill see you tomorrow.
Her: Okay. Sleep well.
Me: Yeah you too. And if you need anything, Im a phone call away. Please call me
babe.
She nods and I pull her in for a hug and soft peck on the lips, then leave.

At the house, I find them seated at the dinner table.

Me: Hey everyone. Hi dad, Hi mom.
Langa: Im not everyone mna.
Me: Oho!
Sim: Wheres Sisi?
Me: Shes coming tomorrow.
Sim: Oh. Can I talk to her please?
Me:After supper.
She smiles and giggles.
Mama: Sim go upstairs honey, Ill be with you.
Sim gets up and leaves. And so does Sazi and Suzi.
Tata: Where is she?
Me: At the hotel.
Mama: Haibo why? Did you guys fight?
Me: No Mother. She just cant bare to be in the room you know, after all thats
happened.
Kamva: Are you treating her good?
Me: Yeah haibo.
Khanya: mmm... I hope you not neglecting her because of Yonela.
Me: Haikengoku! Im not going to sit here and be interrogated and be judged. And
I see that you guys seem to forget, that I also lost a child not just uKanyisa.
Langa: But unlike her you have another on the way, yena? And dont forget that
you werent here when she lost her baby so dont come here and try to act the
victim.
Mama: No Langa.
Langa: No mama, no. Im tired of you always defending Melisizwe. Cant you see
that he's breaking Kanyisa apart? Melisizwe is selfish qha! We all saw how Kanyisa
was shocked and hurt when he and Yonela came prancing in announcing their
engagement. Clearly, he didnt consult her. Hes taking advantage of her love and
when she finally breaks, he'll have no one else to blame but himself nx!
With that being said Langa gets up and leaves, pushing me on the way. Yho. Wow.
I say nothing and turn to go to my room. Im speechless and my spirit is broken. I
lay on the bed and theres a soft knock in my room.
Me: Yeah?
Sim comes in holding her teddy in her very pink pyjama. She looks so cute.
Her: Can we call sisi now?
I nod and gesture her to come lie next to me. I take out my phone and call
Thando. She picks up on the third ring
Her: Hello?
Me: Hey. Theres someone who wants to talk to you.
I hand Sim the phone
Her: Hi Sisi.
Thando: Hi baby. I miss you? How are you?
I walk away to the closet to change, leaving Sim to talk to Thando. After Im done I
go back out
Sim: And then she said Im ugly.
She was in tears.
Thando: Im sorry baby but you know thats not true nhe? Youre so beautiful and
warm and kind and bubbly. You have a heart of gold. You could never be ugly
even if you tried. Dont listen to her. Shes mean and Ill have a strong talk with her
okay?
Sim: Okay.
Thando: Please dont cry my baby because you make me worry and sad when you
cry.
Sim: Okay Ill stop. Its my bed time now. Love you.
Thando: I love you too. Give the phone to Bhuti.
Her: Okay bye see you tomorrow.
She hands me the phone and kisses my cheek.
Her: Night.
Me: Night.
She leaves.
Thando: Thanks for that.
Me: Its a pleasure.
Her: Well sweet dreams. Goodnight.
Me: Good night.

During the night, I toss and turn thinking about what Langa said. The guilt is eating
me up inside and I cant take it anymore. So I get up and leave the house. I drive to
Thandos hotel and call her.
Her: Hello.
Me: Please open.
Her: Okay.
I wait a bit and she opens the door. Looking so cute and innocent.
Her: Whats wrong?
I cant hold it in anymore and I just cry. She pulls me in and wraps her arms around
me.
We in the bedroom and Im laying with her, still crying
Her: Bhuti you making me worry. Whats wrong?
The words just dont seem to come out, only my tears. How is she still with me
through this? Ive broken her and shes still here. Is it because shes honouring her
fathers wished, for her education or because she really cates about me?Either
way, Langa is right. If I dont pull up my socks, shes going to leave me even though
Im starting to fall for her. She comforts me and rubs my back till I fall asleep.

£22
~Melisizwe~
I wake up alone in bed. My head is heavy and so are my eyelids. I search in bed for
my phone, find it and look at the time. I have so many missed calls from Yonela,
Tata, Mama, Langa and the twins. My phone buzzes, its Sazi.
Me: Hey baby face.
She giggles
Her: Hello Bhuti. Umama wants to know where you are?
Me: Im with Thando. Ill be there now.
Her: Okay. Cause she wants you to come help set up for the birthday.
Me: Okay. Im coming.
Thando walks in, dressed in light blue jeans, poloneck and oversized jean jacket. It
looks like one of mine. Shes holding a tray of food.
Her: Morning.
Me: Hello my love.
Her: How are you feeling?
Me: Better with you here.
She blushes and sits on the bed and hands me the tray. I sit up and start digging
in. I hold up a spoonful of yoghurt and feed her. I smile when she responds.
Me: When you starting with exams?
Her: Thursday.
Me: Oh, you ready?
She sighs and shrugs.
Me: Youre bright you'll pass either way.
Her: I hope so.
I pull her in and plant a peck on her soft lips.
Her: What was that for?
I just shrug
Me: Cause I can.
She smiles and stands.
Her: Hurry. Mama is calling for you.
Me: Oh yeah. Come sit next to me, I miss you.
She smiles and takes off her chucks and gets in next to me. She snuggles in close
and we just sit like this. In silence.

~Thando~
I really dont know whats gotten into Melisizwe. Since we've got here at the party,
he's been clingy. Following me everywhere and holding my hand like always. I
think its finally got to him that he has lost his son with me. As much as I love all
the attention hes giving me, I know its not going to last long. I hope Yonela doesnt
come because he'll throw me away like last nights rubbish.
Sim is also another one whos stuck to me like glue. She wants me to carry her
everywhere and shes wearing my dress as her birthday outfit with a black
Poloneck. She looks so cute with her ponies.
Siphe: Whats wrong with Melisizwe?
Me: I dont know. He doesnt want to talk about it.
Siphe: Hes following you around like a big baby.
I giggle and on cue he walks into the kitchen and lays his head on my shoulder.
Nomsa: Mhmmmm...
I just laugh
Me: Hayi sisi.
Olwethu: Hayi Melisizwe hamba(go). Women only here..
He looks at Olwethu and snuggles my neck. He really is off today. Usually he has a
snappy come back but not today. Im really starting to worry.

~Melisizwe~
My mood really is damp today,on the one day that we should be celebrating Sims
bday. Shes our little princess so we all make an effort to make every birthday of
hers special.
Thando: Baby...
I look to her. She has never called me that, Im shocked.
Her: Whats wrong? You really making me worry.
Me: Ill be fine. Just sad.
Her: okay. Well you'll come to me when you want to talk.
She kisses my forehead and gets up to go outside. She takes my hand and we go.
The party is very childlike and noisy. Yho kids are loud. There is screaming, crying,
laughing and shouting. Thank God this is once a year cause yho my head is hurting
from all of this. My phone rings and its Yonela saying shes outside the gate. Sigh.
Me: Im coming now.
I kiss Thando on the cheek and tell her Im coming. She nods and plays with Sim
Outside, Yonela gives me a huge smooch and hug.
Her : Im here to steal you away for a minute or two.
Me: I cant. Its Sims birthday party.
Her: Please, it wont take long.
I sigh. I nod and get in. She drives to the drs office. She walts in and we go into the
room.
Dr: Good afternoon.
I smile and shake his hand. And Yonela smiles at him too, rather seductively too.
Him: You ready to see your first child?
I smile but it doesnt reach my eyes. Because there is a sharp pain in my heart.
Yonela lies on the bed and the dr does his thing. Then there is a sound. A
heartbeat, my kids heartbeat. I find my tears forming in my eyes and they begin
to fall. Yonela smiles at me with her tears too. Its such an amazing feeling.
Im over the moon with joy.
On the way back home, we drop by the hall.
Her: Baby I was thinking, that maybe we could have our wedding over the June
holidays.
Me: So soon?
Her: Yeah. I mean we love each other so why wait so long? And I want to get
married before my bump shows and also so the baby can have your surname.
I smile and kiss her.
Me: Okay.
Her: Okay good. Cause Im sending the invites out next week. And you and I need
to go cake tasting on Monday and go for your fitting on Wednesday. Okay?
Me: Thats fine by me.
Her: Thank you baby.
She kisses me and hugs me. We go into the hall and the wedding planner shows
us around. I hardly pay attention cause this kind of thing bores me. When shes
done, we go eat out and she drops me at home.

~Thando~
How much of a fool am I? Fuck I knew that all this attention I was getting would
come to an end soon. But not this fast. Melisizwe has disappeared for the rest of
the day. Im beyond mad and I just want to fuck off home. How could he do this?
Play with my heart like this? I cant leave and am sure as hell will not be sleeping in
his room tonight.
He comes back, all smiles and smelling like another woman. Must be Yonelas
perfume. Im livid with anger. Luckily, the party has died down and we are kind of
done cleaning. He tries giving me a hug but I shake my head. This is it. Ive had
enough. All the whole Im thinking hes been depressed cause of the miscarriage
but no! Its because hes been missing uYonela. Rha! Im so mad I could spit. And
what pisses me off more, is that he doesnt even say when hes going and who hes
going with. I wasnt going to stop him but it would show some care and respect for
me and my feelings. But no! As always, Melisizwe does what he pleases and to
hell with me. Fucken bastard.
Once we done cleaning and everyone leaves, I head upstairs and put a tired Sim
to bed. When I leave, she asks me to lay with her for a while so I do.

I mustve dozed off cause Im woken up by my ringing phone. Its Melisizwe.

Me: Yes?
Him: Where you?
Me: Sims room
Him: Oh. Ive been looking for you.
Me: Okay.
Him: Are you sleeping there tonight?
Me: Why? You want to sneak out to Yonela?
He goes quiet.
Me: Mxm.
And I drop the call. I dont have time for this shit. Really.
The door opens and Melisizwe comes in.
Him: Can we talk?
Me: Talk.
Him: Hey watch your words.
Me: If youre here to tell me to watch my words, then I suggest you turn around
and go to Yonela.
Him:Whats up with you? One minute your up and then next youre down.
I let out a sarcastic laugh
Me: Youre one to talk. Melisizwe, Im tired and want to sleep. Please leave before
you wake up Sim.
He sighs and leaves. Not before, he shakes his head. Mxm to hell with him.
The next morning I wake up and call a cab to pick me up. I kiss Sim bye and sneak
out to the cab. Luckily, my purse is on the kitchen counter so I grab it and leave.
The cab takes me to the hotel and I pay. I go inside the hotel and go to my room,
where I shower, change into black jeans and sweater and heeled boots. I hardly
wear heels but today, I feel like wearing them. I tie my hair in a high bun, wear my
red lipstick and coat with loop earrings. I pack my bag and call Mam'Naledi.
Her: Hey baby face.
Me: Hello ma. Im not going to join you for breakfast or lunch cause Im going back
early today. But yesterday was wonderful, thank you.
Her: You made it special for Sim. Thank you and all the best for exams.
Theres a sound in the background, its utata. But umama gasps and moans. Euw!
Her: Listen, call you later. I love you bye.
She hangs up without hearing my response. Sies! I call Sazi and we chat for a bit
before I leave. Im taking the train back cause we took Melisizwes car here. I go to
reception and pay for my room. Then catch a taxi to the train station. I book a
ticket then I leave for stellies. The ride is long probably an hour if not more and
the train is not so packed.

I walk from the trainstation to my apartment, drop my bags off and knock on
Lamlas door. There is no response. I knock again but this time I turn the knob and
to my surprise its open. I go in and walk to his room, where I find Mark bent over
and Lamla fucking him hard.
Mark: Baby Im sorry... aah youre in too deep... fuck... please...
I turn and walk out. Woah.

£23
~Thando~
Seeing the way Lamla fucked Mark makes me miss Melisizwes dick. Yho guys the
way that man fucks me is too good to share. I guess thats why Im jealous of
Yonela. She probably gets it on the daily and I get it when uMeli remembers Im
his wife. Mxm my fuck. My phone rings and its him. Nah, Im not in the mood for
his fake care and crocodile tears. Honestly.
Lamla and Mark are shocked to see me lounging on the couch.
Them: Haibo!
Me: You guys are really loud and a fucken turn on.
They look at me with eyes wide open and Lamla smirks. We all laugh and they
come sit next to me. Mark kisses my cheek.
Me: Sies. Dont kiss me with that blowjob mouth.
Mark: Haha oh please its not like you even know how.
Me: Youd be surprised.
Him:Prove it.
Me: What?
Him: Yeah. Prove it.
Me and Lamla: How?
Mark stands and goes to the fridge. Oh no. And comes back with a cucumber. Oh
shit.
He puts it infront of me.
Him: Suck.
I look at him, then Lamla, then the cucumber then Mark again.
Me: Are you fucken crazy?
He laughs and so does Lamla.
Mark: Relax baby girl. I wont do anything to you.
Me: No. Im too sober for this shit and besides, what will happen when i get
horny? Will you fuck me?
Mark laughs
Me: Exactly. Now lets go eat.
They laugh at me. Mxm these idiots. We walk out hand in hand with Mark and
Lamla follows behind us.

We at Marks place, having pizza, ribs, wings and wine. The convo is flowing and so
is the fun. Fuck I love being around these two. They make me so happy and forget
about my maritial problems and life. My phone rings, its Erin
Me: Hey boo.
Her: Mxm fuck you.
Me:Haibo?
Her: Are you ashamed of what happened Thursday?
Me: No.
Her: Then why have you been avoiding me?
Me: I havent. Just that we havent spoken and I was going to come sleep over
there tonight so we can catch up and move on from what happened.
Lamla:(whispering)what happened?
Me:(whispering) fuck off.
Erin: Oh. Where you?
Me: With the crazies.
Her: Put me on speaker.
I put the phone on speaker
Her: Hey you guys.
Them:Hey boo.
Mark: Wana come through? We having wine and food.
Her: Most def. Should I bring dessert?
Me: Yeah. Ice cream.
Mark: And vodka if you have.
Lamla: We have the dash.
Me: No, no more alcohol.
Her: Arg stop being a scardy cat. I wont do anything to you, you wont like.
Mark: Woah! Wheres that coming from?
Before I can open my mouth Erin speaks
Her: Tee and I fucked on Thursday.
The guys gasp and Lamla laughs.
Mark: What The Fuck? Thando!!!!
I roll my eyes and get up and go to the kitchen to get another bottle of wine.
When I return to the lounge, Mark and Lamla are sucking face and my phone is on
the table ringing. Gosh these two. I pick up without looking.
Me: Hello?
Meli: Uphi( where are you)
Me: Out.
Him: Please come to the apartment now.
Me: Fine. Give me an hour.
Him: No. Now Thandokazi. Now.
He drops the call. I dont understand why hes angry really. I turn and Lamla is on
top of Mark grinding on him. Really? These two. I pull them apart.
Me: Take me home and then you guys can fuck until christmas comes.
Lamla is rock hard and his eyes red.
Him: You such a fucken cock block.
Me: I know. Lets go.
Before he can kiss Mark, I pull him by his arm and drag him away.
Mark: Ill get you for this Thando!
I laugh and walk out. In the car, I call Erin and tell her that Im not going to come
later but promise to she can come over Monday. Shes cool with everything.

I walk into the apartment and Melisizwe is sitting on the couch drinking some
brown stuff.
Him: Thando
Me: Yes?
Him: Do you know how humiliating it is to not know where your wife is when
being asked?
Me: I can imagine.
Hey this is the wine talking. I swear.
Him: Yazi undidele wena(youre so cheeky).
Me: Is it?
Im so cool at this moment, you guya should see me.
Me: Why did you call?
Him: Haibo. What kind of dumb question is that?
Me: One that needs an answer.
Him: Where you coming from?
Me: Answer my question first before I answer yours.
He softens
Him: Cause I missed you.
Me: Heeeeee!!! Hahaha amen! Why? Is Yonela not giving you the cookie so youre
here to get from me? Shame!
Him: Haibo where is all of this coming from? Why is Yonela even in this convo?
Me: Hayi kaloku, wena you only ever know me when you want your dick sucked
and want to pound my pussy. Well ke shame, its unavailable now.
Melisizwe chuckles.
Him: Meaning?
Me: Meaning that this( pointing to my honey pot) is no longer yours. It has a new
owner, who pounds it till it burns.
In a speed of lightening, Melisizwe has got me by my thoat against the wall.
Him: Thando, dont test me..
Me: Im not. Im being honest..
He moves his head closer and his hand holds my vag.
Him: Thando, dont piss me off. Or it will get ugly
Me: Its already ugly...
He smashes his lips on mine and I moan. As much as I want him to have me, I cant
let him walk all over me so I push him off me.
Me: Go Melisizwe. Leave. Go to Yonela.
Him: So you can go and get fucked by other guys?
He says while lifting my legs around his waist and grinding on me.
Me: No... Melisizwe Im begging you. Please just leave.
Hes breathing so erotically and his scent heightens my temptation. But I need to
hold my ground. I need to stop this before I give in and pull him in my mouth. He
sighs and lets go of my legs so I can put them down. He huffs.
Him: You really want me to leave?
Me: Yes.
Him: Fine. But if you ever bring a man over or find out you're being fucked by
someone else, there will be hell to pay. You hear me?
I nod. And he turns to leave.

Its now Thursday and Im more than prepared to write my first exam. Im nervous
but ready. Lamla is coming to fetch me and we'll drive together to school. Theres
a knock on my door.
Me: Coming.
I go open the door and its Melisizwe, smiling at me.
Him: Hello.
Me: Hi. Im on my way out.
He raises his brow and licks his lips.
That alone does things to my body cause I could really need his dick to calm me
down. But Ill be late and miss the exam
Him: okay. I just came to say all the best for today.
Me: Thanks.
I steps closer and puts his lips on mine. I respond immediately. I cant resist him.
Our kiss is slow and passionate as if we are exploring each other for the first time.
Its heavenly. After a while, I pull away.
Me:(in a hoarse voice) I need to go.
Him: Okay. Will call you.
I say nothing because I know he will. As of late, he's being attentive. I wonder. But
ke as I always say, what is hidden shall be revealed.
Him: Babe, I get it Im hot but can you stop staring? Its creepy.
I laugh.
Me: Now you know how I felt the first day we met.
He smiles and pecks me one more time and we walk out. Lamla hoots his car.
Him: Baby! Come, we going to be late.
Meli: Did he just call you...? In front of...? Heee iyadela lentwana(This boy doesnt
see me).
Me: Ha.a Bhuti suqala uchuku kusasa( dont start shit so early).
He looks at me and shakes his head. Before I get in the car, he smooches me and
spanks my ass, making me groan. He smiles and winks at me. Heee!
The exam is hard as I expected but I was prepared as always. After the exam,
Lamla and I go for icecream and catch up then he drops me at home. When I get
to my apartment, there is a gift by my door. I pick it up and go in with it. I get to
the kitchen and drink some water then open the gift! Oh my fucking goodness,
you have got to be bullshitting me right now. Really?
£24
~Thando~
Its an invitation. A fucken invitation to Melisizwe Mvelase and Yonela Giyose's
wedding. Heee! This girl has guts! Shes testing me nhe? I swear Im being
bewitched right now. Andilingwa na? Hayi they are testing me and trust me
,they'll get whats due to them.Nx. No wonder Melisizwe was being nice and extra.
He knows what was happening. Im not mad. No, Im bitter and disappointed. But
no more. Ive had enough and this time, this time I mean it. Enough.
The door opens and Melisizwe steps in looking all chocolatey and yummy in his
suit and tie. Yeer.
Him: Hey baby.
I just look at him and shut the door in his face and lock. What kind of fuckery is
this? What kind of a nightmare am I living? Just last week, LAST WEEK, I lost my
baby! And now, my husband is getting married. When? I look at the invitation. 15
July! Are you fucking joking? Thats my birthday. How selfish is one human being
he? Melisizwe is banging on the door but I couldnt give two fucks. Im livid with
anger but I will not cry. Im tired of crying. Really Im tired of this life. The banging
stops which may obviously mean he's gone.
In my room, I take out my books and study. Let me redirect my anger at these
books.

The morning, I wake up and shower. When I go out, Im met by Melisizwes eyes
staring at me, bloodshot red and hes holding a glass.
Him: Good morning.
Me: Hello.
I grab an apple, my keys and attempt to leave.
Him: Uyaphi? ( where are you going)
Me: school.
Him: But you not writing.
Me: Im going to the library.
Him: Well i need to talk.
Me: Theres nothing to talk about. Excuse me.
I walk out and go to the car. Once Im in the car, I call Erin and drive off. We at
Marks place chilling and chatting, Erin has brought her oka pipe and we are
smoking that.
Erin: You're so quiet whats up?
Me: Nothing. You guys think the dean is in?
Lamla: Yeah. Saw his car when I drove past there.
I stand up and get my things
Me: Thanks.
I drive to campus, go to reception and ask to see the dean. The lady says I should
wait for 10 mins as he is in a meeting then go in. I sit and makazi calls
Me:Yhuuu!

Her: 😂😂. Baby!

Me: Mom dies and you forget I exist. Must be nice eh?
Her: Haibo Thando?
Me: Its true. When last did we talk? Whenever I call, you either busy or say you'll
get back to me but you never do.
Her: Thando its...
Me: Nothing Makazi. Its nothing. You said you'd be there for me and were you?
No. None of you were. Im all alone in this world and Im drowning but wena you
couldnt careless because Im not your child is it not so?
She goes quiet so I drop the call. Why did mama have to go so soon? The
receptionist summons me and I go in. The dean and I talk for a while and I ask for
a transfer.
Him: Transfer? Are you not happy with the school?
Me: I wish. This was my first choice from the get go, but the way my life is set
up...
I trail off. I cant continue or Ill cry.
Him: You know, running away from your problems never solves anything.
Me: But what if thats the only option youve got?
Him: But it doesnt help because sooner or later, they'll catch up with you.
Me: I know Sir, but sometimes walking away is the best thing you can do for your
sanity and heart.
He sighs
Him: Well, I can only tranfer you for next year. Its a bit late now.
Me: Okay. Thank you Sir.
Him: its a pleasure, all the best for the future.
Me: Thank you sir.
I exit his office with a heavy heart. I wanted to be transferred to PE so I can be far
from all this shit thats happening in my life. I just need a break from it all.

I find myself walking along the shore of the beach thinking about my baby boy.
My first child. Ripped from my womb by Melisizwe and his precious Yonela. Why
me? Why did my father do this to me? Did he hate me so much that hed throw
me in the lions den? I sit on the floor and just look out to the water. It sparkles
and glistens. On my right, is a happy couple. They are kissing and laughing and
holding hands. Its getting cold, time to go home.
I get to my apartment and Meli is not here but the position of the invitation has
changed which means he saw it and opened it. I start cooking for myself and eat
with a glass of water. I get in my room and open my books to study. Im disturbed
by my phone ringing. Its my aunt. I contemplate on whether or not I should pick it
up or leave it. I pick up
Me: Hello
Makazi:(sniffing) Hi Thando. How are you?
Me: Well thank you and yourself?
Her: Im fine. What are you doing?
Me: Studying. Im writing exams.
Her: Oh. All the best.
Me: Thanx..
The line goes quiet for a while, Im even thinking of dropping the call but then she
speaks
Her: Im sorry.
Im so tired of people apologising for things that they are consciously doing
knowing very well it will hurt my feelings. Yeer!
Her: Im pregnant Thando and just didnt know how to tell you.
Those words plunge into my heart like a knife.
Me: Oh? For 6 months you didnt know?
Her:....
Me: Oh. Congratulations. I wish nothing but the best for you. You deserve all the
happiness that this cruel world has to offer. Im really tired now, goodnight.
Her: Please dont be like this Thando.
I just cut the call. I put my books away with tears falling down my face. I really am
alone.

☆ two weeks later...☆

Im writing my last exam and I havent heard from Melisizwe much over the weeks
but ke, im used to it. I told his mom and dad that I plan on spending the holidays
at home and they were cool with it. So today after my exam, Im taking a bus
home. Im leaving his car cause where will I put it? My bus leaves in an hour and
Lamla is taking me there. Melisizwe doesnt know and I dont care.
Lamla arrives and drops me off at the train station and waits till the bus arrives. It
does and I go in and he waves me off. The drive back home is long but thank God
its Greyhound so luxurious travels babes. We are nearing Tarkastad when
Melisizwe calls.
Him: Please open up.
Im tempted to laugh.
Me: I cant
Him: Where are you?
Me: Tarkastad.
Him: What?
Me: Yep.
Him: Im confused. Where is that?
I roll my eyes
Me: Eastern Cape.
Him: Yho. What are you doing there?
Me: Haibo what do you mean? Im here for my holidays.
Him: Im confused.
Me: Hehake. Ndigodukile( Ive gone home)!
There is silence between us...
Him: Enjoy.
And the line goes dead. Mxm whatever.

Malume picks me up from the bus station, and the ride home is silent. With him
occasionally glancing my way.
Him: Thando?
Me: Malume?
Him: Whats wrong?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Ubhityile(youre skinny) and the spark in your eyes is gone.
Should I tell him or keep it to myself?
Him: Is your husband mistreating you?
Im quiet I dont know what to say. Hes not beating me or anything horrible.
Me: No. Just that, 3 weeks ago, I miss carried.
Theres silence between us, obviously hes shocked and doesnt know what to say.
Him: Im sorry.
I keep quiet.
Him: Why didnt you say anything?
Me: To who?
Him: To me or umakazi.
Me: When? Cause eversince she died, you havent called to check up on me or my
studies. Its like you dont even care. So tell me when was I supposed to tell you
when you and your sister made me feel like inkedama(an orphan)?
He goes quiet and so do I. I just start to cry. Im so sad at the direction of my life. I
bring my knees up and put my head on them and curl up and cry. I feel a hand on
my arm and I brush him off and move further away. My heart is paining. And my
own family has left me. I feel so alone and drained.
The car stops and I look up, we're outside my home. I wish my mom would open
the door cause I miss one of her hugs right now. I really need one. I wipe my tears
and get out. Malume has also been silently crying beside me and looks so sad.
Him: Can I come over tonight?
Me: okay.
He says nothing and takes my bags. Makazi opens and my jaw drops. Her tummy
is big but not as big as the smile on her face.
Her: Hi baby how... why are you crying? Bhuti umenzeni umntwana(Bhuti what
did you do)?
He says nothing and walks past her and inside to put my bags. Makazi pulls me in
for a hug and I stand there motionless. She was living it up while I was drying.
Her: Thandokazi?
Me: Makazi?
Her: Im sorry for neglecting you. I am.
I just nod and go to my room where I lock myself in and climb into bed and just
mellow out. I pull one of my pillows close and just cry on it. What Id give to be in
my mothers arms right now.

£25
~Melisizwe~
How could Yonela do this? Im fuming with anger. Im enraged. My phone rings, its
her.
Me: Yonela!
Her: Hi baby.
Me: How could you do such a thing?
Her: What are you talking about?
Me: The wedding invitation! The fucking wedding invitation. Why did you send
one to uThando without talking to em first?
Her: Im sorry I didnt think it would be a big deal.
Me: It is a big deal. Now shes gone. And if she leaves me Yonela, I swear there will
be no wedding, uyandiva?
Her: Haibo!
I drop the call. Nx. Im pissed off. I drive to her apartment and call her. She says
shes on her way home. What? Ive really fucked up this time. What am I going to
do? Im not prepared to lose her. This may sound selfish but I dont care. I love
Thandokazi whole heartedly and Im willing to risk it all to be with her. But at the
same time, I still love Yonela and I want to marry her, especially now knowing
shes the mother of my kid. It hasnt been a year and already we are on the rocks.
Call me selfish all you want, But I will not lose Thando.

~Thando~
I mustve fallen asleep because Im woken up by a heavy urge to pee. I get up and
go to the bathroom. Im thirsty but then aaah! Its after 7pm, the water has been
switched off. What a welcome home service. 😑. I open the fridge and theres juice
and water. I drink the water and turn to leave but Makazi is standing there.
Me: Yhu! Dont do that! My heart almost stopped.
Her: Im sorry baby.
She looks like shes been crying.
Her: Your food is in the micro.
Me: Thanx. But Ill eat later.
Her: Thando? Im sorry for your loss.
I nod.
Me: Congrats. I thought you said you were barren
Her: Me too cause I wasnt getting pregnant in my marriage but I guess it was fates
way of saying, not now.
Me: Congrats anyway. Do I know the dad?
She blushes.
Her: Yeah. Its David.
Me: The white guy?
I exclaim, almost choking on my saliva. Woah!
Me: Is he supportive?
Her: A lot.
Me: Thats good. How long have you been together?
Her: Almost two years.
Woah! Wow.
I say nothing. I dont have the energy to say anything.
Me: Okay.
Thats all I manage to say. Im too shocked to say anything.
Her: Can we talk?
Me: Yeah in the morning. Im really tired from all the travelling.
Her: Okay goodnight.
Me: Yeah you too
I walk out to my room and plug my earphones in and listen to 'Rose Coloured
Glasses by Millie Jackson

"I dont know why I keep on believing you need me

When you've prove so many times it aint true
And I can't find a reason for staying
Maybe by leaving will be the best for you"

Those first lines twist the knife thats already plunged in my heart. Im hurting and I
cry more as I page through me and Melis photos from beginning of the year when
we had our mini honeymoon. But all that is over and the only thing thats left are
the ashes of our once burning love. My music is on shuffle and I feel like my
phone is connected to my mood as Have You Ever by Brandy plays. And I catch it
on the second verse
" Have you ever found the one
Youve dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one, wont guve their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes
And dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day that they will care"

I cry even harder as I think about Melisizwe and his forbidden heart. Im crushed
and its all my fault. Ive let it get this far and now its time to face the music. Theres
a soft knock and I tell them to come in. Makazi walks in and says nothing. Just lays
next to me and rubs my back as I cry in her arms. I speak through my tears
Me: He doesnt... love... me! He will... never love... me. He's marrying her!
I cry harder as the image of him and her walking in the house holding hands pops
in my mind. I replay that fatal night over and over in my head and its like my heart
will explode.
Maki: Hmm.m nana. Please Thando dont do this to yourself.
I continue to cry until I fall asleep.

The morning I wake up with a heavy head and heart. I make my bed and go out to
the kitchen. Im woken up by a delicious aroma of bacon and eggs. Yum. I go to the
kitchen and find Makazi cooking up a storm. I cant open my eyes properly but I
can see shes glowing and radiant.
Me:Molo makazi
I say in a hoarse voice.
Her: Hi baby. What are you doing up?
Me: Haibo. I cant be in bed the whole day.
Her: Its cold outside and yes you can. Go back to bed Im coming.
I turn and go back to bed and she comes carrying a tray with food.
Me: Let me help
Her: No. Let me feed you.
I sigh. Defeated. And she walks out and comes back with coffee cups and more
food. Gosh how much food has she cooked. She sits and hands me my plate and
cup.
Her: Hot chocolate.
I smile. My moms remedy for everything.
Her: Now talk to me.
Me: Where do I start?
Her: From the beginning.
I sigh and get tissues from my bag one for me and one for her, then narrate the
story from beginning to end
Her: So his dick is good?
I laugh
Me: Better than good. When its inside me, it has this thing like its vibrating and its
big. Trust me I know. Ive had so many orgasms with him yho.
Maki laughs so hard.
Her: And his tongue game?
Me: Damn! On point, just that I dont have his heart.
Maki looks at me and seems so sad for me.
Her: So are you going to stop the wedding?
Me: No.
Her: What?
Me: No I wont. Ill just leave. He'll hate me especially knowing shes carrying his
child so...
Maki: What do you mean you'll leave?
Me: Divorce. Before I end up losing myself in this sham of a marriage.

The week goes by great with Maki and I reunited, we've gone to lawyers to check
my options for divorce. Thank God David borrowed me his lawyers so I can get it
done. And spending time with him and Maki. Saturday rolls around and Im in a
lighter airier mood. Ive become happier and smiling home. It must be the fact that
Ive come home. And I havent spoken to Melisizwe since ive come home but hes
been calling and I eventually blocked him. Im here to get away from him.

~Melisizwe~
Ive been trying to reach Thando but to no avail. Even when Sim called, Thando
dropped immediately after. Now Im going to her home town to go see her. I have
to I miss her.
The flight is not fast enough and the drive is worse. I get to her home Saturday
evening and knock on her door. She opens up looking hella fine in bum shorts and
an oversized shirt. Its my shirt. She looks great and shocked to see me
Her: Bhuti?
Me: Hey babe.
Her: What are you doing here?
Doesnt she get tired of always asking me this question?
Me: Im here to see you silly. Can I come in?
She steps aside and walk in. She seems like shes home alone. I dont like this one
bit.
Me: You home alone?
Her: Uhm yeah.
Me: Arent you going to offer me something to drink?
Shes stunned and quiet.
Her: Uhm yeah.
I go to the couch and sit. She walks off shaking her magnificent behind. I miss her
body. Its been over two months since Ive had the liberty of tasting her sweet pie.
On the couch is an envelope written her name. Out of curiosity, I open up and
take the documents out. What the fuck!!! Divorce??

£26
~Melisizwe~
She walks in and almost drops the glasses.
Her: Why are you reading my private documents?
Me: DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE?
She doesnt answer me
Me: ANSWER ME...
Her: What other option did you give me? You getting married. Its confirmed. So
what are you doing with me then? He?
Me: I love you. Im in love with you. I wish youd hear me when I say this. Ive grown
to love you.
I stand up and pull her in close to me. Her body is pressed against me
I whisper in her ear.
Me: Please Thando. Just give me until end of year. And if it doesnt change,then
you can leave okay?
Her: Melisizwe..
I move my hand to her bum and hold her in so close and lay my head on her neck
and beg her.
Me: Please. One last chance.
Her: Melisizwe I...
I move my lips closer to hers. Shes breathing differently. Seductively.
Me: Tell me you dont love me and Ill leave. Ill sign the papers and leave you. Tell
me please.
Her: Meli...
Me: Please...
I feel my tears threatening to fall. They do. If she says she doesnt love me, Ill
break. It will kill me because Im in love with her.
I move my lips closer and kiss her. With my tears still rolling down my face. This is
the first time Ive ever been vunerable to any woman besides my mother.

Her lips taste of cool lemonade. Mmmm... i slowly unbutton her shirt and make
my way to her neck. She gives me permission and i kiss her soft neck. She has
those little freckles on her neck and her skin is soft like cotton candy. Delicious! I
slowly remove the shirt and her breasts are exposed. Oh, I like this. I like this a lot.
My hands skim over them cupping each one in my hand, I smile and move my lips
to kiss each one. Her nipples harden under my cool breath as i blow and suck each
one. Shes my muse. With my hands, I unbotton her shorts. She flips us over and
rips my shirt open. And kisses my neck. I roll us over again and continue with my
torture. I take her shorts off and follow with them, kissing her flat belly along the
way. She has a belly ring in, woah, when did she get this? Fuck, focus.
Her sweet moans and gasps are what keep me going. I eventually reach her castle
and shes wearing lace panties. My favourite. I open her legs wider and skim my
tongue over the panties. She moans. I do it again but this time i slightly pull her
panties up. My hand grabs the edges and I slowly tear them off. Her gasp is
audible and it makes me smile...
~Thando~
With every stroke and thrust, I can feel Melisizwes need for me. My body. His
desire for my love and passion for me. In this moment, im not thinking about our
fights and my emotions. In this moment, Im thinking about us and all the
possibilities our future holds. In this moment, I feel Melisizwes love for me and
mine for him. Im building, higher and higher and hes here with me, taking me
there.
Him: Let go baby...
I do and my pleasure releases, leaving me screaming and gasping for air.
Melisizwe follows suit and crashes on top of me like a leather blanket. He rolls
over and lays his head on my chest as we both catch our breaths.
Him: Please dont leave me
Its a sob and plea in one. His voice sounds broken. But I have to stand on my own
two feet. Because as much as I love him and want him to have me, all of me, he
doesnt deserve me.
Him: Ill work on myself Thando, Ill work on us just...
Me: How many times have you said so my love? But your actions sang a different
tune. Melisizwe, with every passing day that you dont call or text me or leave
after our love sessions, you're slowly but surely breaking me. Im beginning to
become a reflection of my former self and it pains me.
Him: I know, but everytime I try theres always something that ruins it all. Thando I
am trying, believe me when I say this. But its not easy for me. Its no excuse for
breaking your heart though, really it isnt but dont give up on is so easily my love.
Thats all I ask.
I dont know what to say. Should I?

~Melisizwe~
The morning I wake up next to a sleeping Thando. Shes breathing so softly. Her
features are beautiful on her delicate face. Her lips pink and plump. I want to kiss
them always. I move closer and plant a soft kiss on them. She smiles. I move and
playfully bite her ear.
Her: Ow! Babe...
The way she says that makes me smile. She suddenly moves and pins me under
her. Shes radiant. Morning definately agrees with her.
Her: Good morning.
Me: Good m...
Her lips are instantly on mine. This makes my heart smile. She goes lower with her
kisses until she reaches my Mandingo😉, i cant see what shes doing but I feel her
mouth on me. Fuck, I become harder. The tip of her tongue is on my tip and her
mouth wrapped around me. Damn that feels good. I groan and she starts moving.
The way my dick feels when it hits the back of her throat is indescribable. Why is
she torturing me so? Im starting to get harder and harder. I feel like my veins are
going to explode, fuck. Im almost there when she stops. What? Why? I attempt to
lift my head but she pins me down with a kiss, she shifts on top of me and grinds
her coochie against my throbbing cock. I need to penetrate. I have to release.
Why is she punishing me like this?
Im almost about to give up when she slips me inside of her. Yes! And she starts
moving...

~Thando~
The morning session with Melisizwe was phenomanal but knowing him, it will be
short lived. Hes in the kitchen cooking and singing to some song I dont know but it
goes

"I can't hide it and I can't fake it, baby

This time is for real
The love we have is not mistaken, baby
I feel it's gonna last
Cause girl I love you(I love you)
Oooh my baby
My love is true(Its true)
And Ill do anything
All for you"

His singing is spectacular so much so that it makes me blush.

Me: You can sing?
He turns and flashes a beautiful smile my way.
Him: How long have you been standing there?
Me: Long enough to hear how beautifully melodic your voice is.
He smiles, well more like blushes
Him: Thank you baby...
Me: How come Ive never heard you sing before?
Him: You were probably sleeping. Youre my only woman whos ever heard me
sing. Well, owned up to it.
I blush at his words and he bites his lip seductively.
Him: You look amazing in my clothes.
Me: Is that your way of permitting me to wear them?
He laughs.
Him: Whats the use of that cause you wear them either way.
I blush and go over to him and kiss him on the lips.
Him: You taste really good.
Me: So do you. Must be the hunger we have for each other.
Him: No, its because we love each other.
I bury my head in his chest and giggle. Gosh, why is he doing this to me? Making
me feel all lovey dovey and gooey inside?
After breakfast we wash and I take him on tour to Queenstown, we go to the
Casino and have some fun then go eat at, correct me if Im wrong, Buddies, where
Dagwood used to be. We chat and eat and kiss. Like we were in our own little love
bubble. I just wish I could take this moment and put it in a sealable container and
keep it forever. But as we all know, nothing lasts forever, especially when it
comes to matters of the heart.

The following morning, we made sweet, divine love and then I watched him leave.
My heart broke but I knew it was going to happen. That night, I sat in bed and
reminensed on the events of the weekend. I realised that Im too inlove with
Melisizwe to see that he'll never be mine to have and to hold. In no time, I will be
sharing him with another and for the first time, I was not angry, or bitter. I was
content. He came all the way from Cape Town to be with me and thats enough for
me. But did this mean that divorce was off the cards? Not a chance. But I had to
be strategic about it. I had to leave with my education in hand. So its back to the
drawing board.
Yes I love Melisizwe and probably always will, but I deserve more thab what hes
offering me. He has until the end of the year to prove why I should stay and if not,
he can kiss my juicy pussy goodbye. To hell with this shit.

£27
~Thando~
The holiday is almost over but I dont want it to end. Being home is the best. Its
true when they say there's no place like home. Makazi has encouraged me to go
to the wedding. Something about being the bigger person and showing my
husband support. Psht. I just rolled my eyes. But shes right. Maybe I should go. In
a sexy number thats tastefully revealing and eye catching. Lamla said hes found
the perfect dress and Erin the shoes. Mark said he'll do my make up and Lamla's
hairdresser, my hair. Im pretty much sorted out without lifting a finger. And worst
of all, I havent told them about my transfer. Yep, you heard right,Im still
transferring to PE and I got a bursary thats willing to pay for my accomodation
and fees. Well, David got it from me. His dad is an accountant and when he saw
my matric results and marks from my June exams, which i barely did good in, I
got 80 and 81 imagine? Me? I know varsity is 10x harder than school but still. I
know what Im capable of and my marks are mediocre for my standard to be
honest.

Anyway, Maki and I are in East Londom for the weekend then Ill take a flight
Sunday evening and spend the week leading up to the weekend with Lamla and
Mark. David has invited us over to his parents house for supper and Maki is
nervous as hell.
Her: What if they think Im after their sons money? What if they donr like me?
Me: What does David do? Calm down youre going to stress yourself and the kids,
please. And besides, why wouldnt they like you? This is not the apartheid era
makazi. Mixed race relationships are allowed. They cant not like you because of
the colour of your skin.
Her: Okay. Youre right...
She stops pacing around and comes over to me.
Her: You like David right?
Me: Well, I dont know him that well but since you like him he must be cool right.
Her: Yeah.
Me: Is he any good in the sack?
Her: Yho... he gives a great fuck... his stroke game is on point and his foreplay?
Ooooo!
Me: Uhm, okay.
David knocks and comes in looking good.
Me: Hello...
Him: Hey cutie.
I smile. David is kind of old you guys, like in his 40s and with no previous kids.
Thandiswa is carrying his first child, which hapens to be a baby boy.
Him: Baby you okay?
Her: Im nervous, I need something to calm me down.
Him: What would you like?
Her: You.
Me: Euw! No Thandiswa.
They both laugh and we leave.

His parents are like super excited and pretty chilled people
Mom: So youre also married?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Mom: Oh no honey, call me Carol.
I giggle
Me: I dont think Ill be comfortable calling you that.
David: Dinners ready come.
Thandiswa is so quiet ts quite hilarious.
We go out to the garden area and oh gosh its beautiful. There are little fairy lights
and roses and candles everywhere. In the middle is a smiling David in a formal suit
and bow tie. Everyone is locked in their place.
Mom: David, whats going on?
He comes over and takes Thandiswa's hand who is locked and with her mouth
open. He takes her to the middle area and pulls out a chair for her to sit. Then he
does the unexpected and goes down on one knee, Im speechless and crying I
think. We cant hear what hes saying but whatever hes said has got Thandiswa
emotional and in tears, she nods her head which obviously means shes accepted
and is now squealing with excitement.

Dinner is filled with laughter and congratulations are flowing. I feel a pang of
jealousy for Thandiswa and David. They having it all while Im stuck in one place.
Will I ever get a fairytale proposal and marriage? Probably never and that hurts
me in the deepest part of my soul. But regardless, Im happy for her.
After dinner, David takes me back to our hotel and he and Thandiswa go
elsewhere. I shower and get into bed. Melisizwe calls me as Im about to drift off.
Me: Hey.
Him: Hi. Whats wrong?
Me: Nothing.
Him: Talk to me baby.
Me: I guess im just down cause the holiday is almost over you know?
Him: Im sorry my sugar-sweetness.
I giggle. What is he doing to me?
Him: Your flight is ready tomorrow. I cant wait to have you back in my arms. I
misd you too much.
Me: I miss you too.
Him: I love you my Thando.
Me: I love you too.
I can hear his smile and he drops the call. Well, goodnight to you too.

My flight back is short and my luggage a lot. Thandiswa has bought me a lot of
clothes and sexy lingerie and shoes. Its her way of apologising properly as she
says.
Lamla is the one to pick me up from the airport and we go to his house. Along the
way he tells me hes cheated on Mark and wants to know if he must tell him.
Him: It was just a kiss. Nothing more but its eating me up inside.
Me: Yho. Whyd you do it?
Him: I dont know.
Me: Well babe, think about it this way, is it eating you up inside? If you tell him
will you be happy with yourself? Are you ready to risk it all for the sake of truth?
He goes quiet and so do I.
The week kind of rolls over quickly and before I know it, its the eve of the
wedding. My emotions are all over but I refuse to let sadness win. Erin, Mark and
Lamla cheer me up by taking me out and having a fun day. Lamla told Mark and it
was all good. Mark did blow a gas but cooled off the following day. I admired
these two. That night we play karaoke. Everyone is singing joyful songs and when
its my turn to pick, I pick Usher-Separated.

"If love was a bird

Then we wouldnt have wings
If love was the sky, we'd be blue.
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isnt for me and you

If I was an oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts.

So why dont you go your way

And Ill go mine
Live your life
And Ill live mine
Baby you'll do well
And Ill be fine
Cause we're better off
Separated"

This song hits a nerve but its true. We are at the bar and people are clapping and
cheering. Seems like there are a lot of broken hearts in here, waiting to be pieced
back together.

Its Saturday, the day of the wedding. I wake up early and get dressed. I wear a
backless body hugger with think straps to hold it. It has a small mermaid train at
the bottom and its a gentle peach in colour. The shoes are a nude and so is my
make up. Marks stylist, Jude, washes and dyes my hair a dark red and straightens
it and gels it. Then ties it up into a beautiful big bun and the look is finished off by
diamon earrings that fall at my sides. Im looking beyond beautiful and my lips a
fiery red. Erin,Lamla and Mark also come with me. As my dates to the wedding.
We arrive a little late at the wedding, and all eyes are on us as we make our way
down near the alter to the 3rd row. Melisizwes eyes are almost popping out of his
head. Hes wearing a formal tux and has trimmed his hair and beard. He looks
good. The song plays and everyone stands as Yonela walks down the isle in a
beautiful dress that slightly shows off her bump. Im calm as a cucumber and Siphe
keeps stealing glances at me. Melisizwes eyes are glued on her,unlike me when I
came down the isle. The bitter thought comes unbidden to my mind and I dismiss
it immediately.

Their vows are so full of love and at some point a tear escapes down Melisizwes
eye as he says his vows. My heart clenches and I breathe in to avoid my tears
falling down my face. I grab Erin and Lamlas hands and gently squeeze. Mark
looks at me and reaches over and brushes my leg and I smile. He mouths "Are you
okay?" and I nod.
Pastor: If anyone, should seek a reason as to why these two should not be wed,
speak now or forever hold your peace.
Melisizwe steals a look my way and so do other people but I hold my composure
and look at the cross behind the pastor as I think about the Lord and faith. The
wedding proceeds and people are celebrating. Im holding Erins hand as we stay
seated and wait for everyone to leave. Mark kisses my cheek as we exit last.

At the reception, we sit and eat the appetisers and chat amongst ourselves. The
groom and brides dance comes on and they stand and dance to Giving Myself by
Jennifer Hudson

"Im giving my self over to you

Body and soul
Im giving it over
Im giving myself over to you now"

The way he looks into her eyes and smiles at her. She lays her hand on his chest
and he sings in her ear. The look so inlove and happy that Im starting to feel like a
third wheel. The unwanted piece to an already complete puzzle. I think this is my
cue to leave. My throat feels like its closing up and not in a good way. I wonder if
there arent any nuts in this food. I call over the waiter, by now Im starting to lose
breath
Me: Are the any nuts in this food?
Her: Yes in the appetizers.
I grab Erins hand and she looks at me shocked
Her: Whats wrong? Your face is turning pale.
I point to my throat. Then the food.
Her: Oh no. Nuts?
I nod my head and can feel my tears rolling down. Im suffocating and my vision
blurring.
Me: Hospital.
Is all I can utter and let the tears fall. Mark pics me up bridal style and runs with
me across the hall to the door. Through blurry eyes, I see Melisizwe stand and the
family too when we're by the door. By the time we get into the car, my throat
completely closes and then, lights out.

£28
~Melisizwe~
This big white guy is holding Thando bridal style and running out with her. I stand
and so does Yonela. My dad calms everyone down and comes over to me
Him: Sit and stay. Im going with Naledi to go see her.
Sazi comes running to the table
Her: Are there nuts in the food?
Yonela: Yeah why?
Sazi: Oh no. Sis Kanyi is highly allergic to nuts. Like deadly allergic.
Yonela: Oh no...
She starts to cry. I guess she feels guilty. How can I not know that Thando is
allergic to nuts? What the fuck is wrong with me? I comfort Yonela reassuring her
that its not her fault and she calms down. The festivities continue as normal and
everyone enjoys themself. To calm Yolanda down and get back to us, I slow dance
us to La Sauce featuring Amanda Black- I do. She glowing and smiling and kisses
my lips, but not the way thando does. We dance to the song, my mind on Thando
and whether or not shes alright.

~Thando~
I wake up in hospital with Erin crying by my side brushing my hand back and forth.
Me: Hey.
She lifts her head, gets up and throws her arms around me.
Her: Oh my Goodness Thando, you scared me.
Me: What day is it?
Her: Its Sunday babe.
Me: Oh... did Melisizwe come to visit?
She shakes her head no. Okay. Thats enough confirmation for me. Im trough with
him. Time to serve him the papers tomorrow. Im out of this. Nothing he can say
or do will change my mind this time. I almost die and he doesnt set foot to come
see me? Wow.
The dr comes in and discharges me. He hands me some papers to sign which I do,
apparently my medical bill has been settled, and a prescription note. Lamla and
Mark come to fetch us and we pass by the pharmacy first. The whole day they
baby me its so cute.
Lamla: Yho when you stopped breathing I thought it was the end.
Mark: You scared us boo...dont ever do that again okay?
Me: Im sorry you guys.
Lamla: Your inlaws came and said I should call when you wake up.
Me: Did you?
Lamla: yeah but it rung until it went to voice mail.
Me: Mark? Youre a lawyer right?
Mark laughs
Him: Haw you doubt me?
Me: No. Just that I want to draft my divorce papers and have them served to
melisziwe tomorrow morning at his mothers house. Im done.
Everyone goes silent.
Mark: Are you sure about this?
I nod.

The Monday I wake up and shower and go to the kitchen. Im at my house. Theres
a knock on my door and when I open, Im attacked by a hug by Melisizwe. I stand
frozen and just look at him.
Him: Are you okay?
I say nothing and still look at him. No words, no emotion, no reaction.
Me: Excuse me, I have somewhere to be.
I walk past him and out the door.
Me: I want to lock.
Him: Thando I...
Me: Save it.
He walks out and I lock up and go. I get into the car and drive off to Judes Salon. I
get there and sit in his chair.
Him: Hey boo.
Me: Hey lovely.
Him: What can i do to the gorgeous hair?
Me: Cut it.
He goes quiet. In fact the whole salon does.
Him: Like in a style?
Me: No, ALL. Chiskop.
Him: What? No.
I attempt to stand
Him: Why?
Me: Will you do it or must I go elsewhere?
He goes quiet and summons some guy to do it. He comes over, smiles at me
seductively and I just blankly stare at him. He cuts it all off. And I ask for my hair.
He looks at me weird but nonetheless gives it to me in a plastic. I pay and walk
out. With stares as I leave.
?: Mhle akazenzi shame(shes a natural beauty).
One lady says and I smile as I shut the door. I get into my car and drive to Marks
offices, where I finalise my divorce papers with him. Yeah Mark is older than all of
us, hes 26 and a great lawyer. So thats why I went to him. He'll be my defence
attorney, free of charge. He really is sweet. He says that by Wednesday, with my
demands, everything will be finalised. Hes sure of it.

~Melisizwe~
The way Thando dismissed me says it all. Shes beyond hurt and as always, its my
fault.
Yonela: How is she?
Me: Okay.
Her: Im sorry baby. I didnt know.
Me: Its okay dont stress about it. Whats for dinner?
Her: Beef stew and rice. Want me to dish for you?
Me: No thanks babe. Im going to bed.
Her: Be there now.

The next morning, theres a ring at the door. I go get it and theres the post man.
Him: Please sign sir.
I sign and thank him. Its a brown envelope with my name on it. I go to the table
and open. Its papers, divorce papers. From Thando. Fuck! I run upstairs and take
my phone and call my dad.
Him: Hello
Me: Shes served me with divorce papers.
My voice is a whisper as Im devastated as I say this. My heart is slowly tears in my
chest. I begged her not to do this, maybe yesterday was the last straw. Im hurting
so hurt by this. Yonela comes out wrapped in a towel and I just look at her. I go
into the shower and do my business. The n get out. I wear my suit, call my lawyers
and go to their offices. They think that everything in there seems fair and
Wednesday we will all meet to finalise everything. So soon? But there is no point
in dragging this out. In the settlement, it states that I may not see her until
everything is finalised. Fuck! Im lost. I dont know what to do. My hands are tied.
Im at hime at the dinning table with my head in my hands. Im silently sobbing.
She really is leaving me, theres no going back.
Tata: What are her demands?
Me: I give her allowance and pay her fees for the rest of this year. I may not
contact her up until this is finalised.
Tata: Thats it?
I nod. Its so little. The allowance is R35 000 and thats it. Her fees and
accomodation has been paid for for the rest of the year already so theres no
stress about that.
Mama is crying and rubbing my back.
Her: What are her reasons?
Me: Failure to carry duties as a spouce, emotional negligence.
Tata: Yho.
Theres silence in the room as I weep on the table.

The morning, I wake up groggy and depressed. Im at home, so I shower and get
dressed into my suit and go to the dinning area.
Sim comes bouncing to me.
Her: Bhuti! Wheres Sis Kanyi?
I look at her and clear my throat, pushing back the tears,
Me: Shes at school baby.
Her: When is she coming back? I miss her so much.
She lays her head on my chest. I wipe away a tear and look at mom with pleading
eyes.
Me: I dont know. But Ill tell her.
Her: Okay good.
Breakfast is quiet with Sazi and Sim chatting and laughing. Its too cute. But I have
my own problems to deal with.
Me, dad and the lawyers fly to Stellenbosch and meet up with Thando in her
lawyers offices, which suprisingly is not too far from the post office. We arrive and
we sit in the boardroom with Thandos lawyer. Wait, isnt this the guy from the
wedding? He introduces himself as Mark Smith and is a defense attorney. Minutes
later Thando walks in, wow! Shes bald! With dark make-up and black clothes. She
looks beyond beautiful. She greets everyone and sits next to Mark.
Justin(my lawyer): my client wants a separation rather than a divorce.
Mark: No. My client has specifically asked for a divorce and if her demands arent
met then we will have to take it to court where, as you know, everything will be
prolonged and publisized and my clients demands will be higher.
Me to Justin:(whispering) Can I speak to her directly?
Justin: my client would like to speak to your client directly.
Mark looks at Thando and she nods.

~Thando~
He looks so distraught and broken. But I couldnt care less. I dont want anything
from him, including his money. The allowance hes been giving me Ive been saving.
So I have around R90 000 from him. This will cover me hopefully next year. Moms
money Ive saved up so it can grow and Im not touching that.
Him: I thought you said youd give me another chance.
Me: Thats before I almost died and you and your family didnt care to show up.
Him: Thando...
Me: No Melisizwe. Ive had enough. I value myself too much to carry on letting you
string me along.
I turn to Bab'Sizwe.
Me: You remember end of last year when I cried in the backseat of your white
Hilux until I passed out, what you said? You said youd take care of me. What
happened? What did I do so wrong that I deserved to let you watch your son
trample over my heart and do nothing? I could have died this past weekend and
you didnt even care to pitch. You lied to me when you said youd take care of me.
You didnt. You threw me into the lions den and watched as it destroyed me. But
no more. This is me standing up for myself. Im done. Im through with this sham of
a marriage that you and my father orchastrated.
With that being said, I slipped off my wedding ring, reached across the table and
gave it to Melisizwe.
Him: Keep it.
Me: What for? It has no value anymore.
My voice is cold and my words icey.
Mark: Please sign here, here and here.
I sign with my maiden surname.
Melisizwe also signs and places the pen down. A tear falls on the table and he
wipes it away. I open my bag and hand him his black card, car keys, petrol card
and diamond necklace and earrings
Him: You can keep them.
Me: No. I dont want anything that will remind me of you.
He gasps and so does his father. I think they only registering now that I am truelly
leaving, for good.
Mark nods and we stand up to leave. When Im at the door, Melisizwe calls my
name, I turn to him
Him: Is this really the end of us?
Me: It was over a long time ago, but I was too stupid to realise it because I
thought you would love me. But how can you, when you dont even love yourself.
With that being said, I turn and walk out.

£29
~Thando~

☆ 3 months later..☆
It was now October and my hair was back to its original length if not longer. Ive
died it Purple and Im looking hella fine.
Im not going to lie and say the past 3 months have been easy because they
havent but Ive tried to move past them. I cried, I took my frustrations out on
everyone and at times, I wanted to call him and say I missed him. But no, I stood
strong and faced all my emotions so I can move on from him fully and I am, slowly
but surely. Life has never been better. No, I havent started dating but Ive been on
a few dates but thats all. Why? Well... Im pregnant. With Melisizwes baby. When I
found out, I was so pissed off but had no one to blame but myself. I so badly
wanted to abort but my friends and family talked me out of it. Infact, they wanted
me to tell Melisizwe but I refused and guilt tripped them in everything. I meant it
when I said I didnt want anythinh to do with Melisizwe and his money was
included.

Its a warm Thursday and Im wearing shorts and an oversized shirt. Im laying on
my bed, going through school material, my phone rings. Its David.
Me: Hello.
David: Hi.
His nose sounds stuffed, like hes got flu
Me: Are you okay? Whats wrong?
Him: Thandiswa is in hospital.
Me: Whats wrong? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?
He chuckles.
Him: More than fine. She gave birth this morning.
I scream. Oh, how cute. Im so happy for them they deserve all the happiness.
Me: Aw! Congrats. You have to send pics and videos and all okay?
Him: Yeah. We thought you should know. I wanted to call when she was in labour
but Thandiswa said we'd stress you out. How are you?
Me: Im okay. Just wish I wasnt pregnant. David?
Him: Yeah?
My tears begin to form in my eyes.
Me: Can Thandiswa hear me?
Him: No Im at home for a quick shower, whats wrong?
Me: What if I hate my baby?
Him: You wont. Thando, honey, try and stop overthinking everything. Its going to
be okay. Trust me. Do you trust me?
Me: With my life.
Him: Then stop worrying about the what ifs okay? I got you. You focus on your
books and being the best auditor in the world okay?
I giggle through my falling tears
Him: Thats more like it.
Me: Thank you David, bye.
Him: Bye love.
I smile, a genuine smile of relief. One thing about David is that him and Thandiswa
love each other, sincerely. They argue and bicker but they truelly care for each
other. It warms my heart. Thandiswa has been through a lot and she deserves all
the happiness David is offering her. Hopefully one day, Ill be in the same position
as her too.

~Melisizwe~

☆ 5 months later...☆
Yonela is now 1 week away from being 9 months pregnant and shes not as big as I
imagined her to be. But yho the mood swings Ive had to deal with have been
hectic.
Have I been missing Thando? You bet your last money I have. Everyday Im
without her feels worse than the one before and Sim asking about her, makes it
10 times more. Ive slowly slipped back into my depressive state and mom even
says Ive lost weight. But you know how mothers are with their kids.
Im at the office, writing my proposals when my brother calls
Hi.: Hey baby bro
Me: Hey. Whats up?
Its Bhut Lunga my eldest brother.
Him: Hee! Siphe tells me that when he went home these holidays, she bumped
into Thando.
Me:....
I dont know what to respond and say.
Him: Melisizwe?
Me: Im here Bhuti.
Him: Yeah and shes pregnant bro.
Me: What?
Him: Yeah... you didnt know?
Me: No. Thanks bro
I hang up and stand. Why wouldnt she tell me? Was she planning on keeping my
kid away from me? How cruel is uThando? Yeah I hurt her but to keep my kid
away from me is just wrong. Im infuriated by this. How dare she. Im tempted to
drive there and demand my presence in my childs life. Fucken hell.

I get home and find Yonela bent over, crying.

Me: Hey babe, whats wrong?
Her: my water broke.
I stand there, dumb.
Her: Melisizwe! Dont just fucken stand there! Our baby is coming!
And then she screams. Oh shit. I run upstairs and get the bags and go downstairs
and carry her to the car. Shes crying and breathing and Im driving like a maniac to
the hospital. My head is no longer with Thando, but here at this moment. I call my
mother on the hands free
Her: Hi nana
Me: Hey mom. Uhm, Yonelas water broke so..
She screams.
Her: How is she? Where are you?
Me: Im about to pull up at the hospital. Tell everyone.
I pull up and grab everything and her and go in. As soon as I go in, we are
attended to and wheeled into the maternity ward. The nurse changes her into
maternity clothing and she comes to lie on the bed. She instructs Yonela to open
her legs and she feels in her crotch. Oh my fuck...child birth is traumatising.
Fucken hell. The nurse gasps.
Nurse: Youre fully dilated. When did your contractions begin?
Yonela: This morning but I thought it was a false alarm.
The nurse runs out and calls another so they can help her set up. Im standing
there like an idiot. The fuck am i supposed to do? The nurse comes in and hands
me clothes to wear over mine. I wear them quickly and go stand next to Yonela
holding her hand. The nurse places her legs up and spreads them wide.
Yonela: Really Melisizwe?
I look at her, dumbfounded
Me:What?
Her: Im about to give birth and wena youre here catching a boner?
I look down. Tshn! Meli is standing, ready to salute.
Me: Ha.a this is not intentional.
She pulls her hand away from mine and groans loudly. Yer! Being a guy really is
hard sometimes. Excuse the pun.

After much screaming and pushing and crying, there is a soft cry. My babys cry. I
cant help but get emotional as she comes out still covered in fluids and the
ambilical chord still attached to her. We've decided to name her Ahlumile Jai
Mvelase. Its made for her. She is so beautiful and has so little hair. Her nose is
small, pink lips and a dark beauty. Wow. Im astoned. The nurse hands her to me
and thats when my world stops. Im in love with her. Shes my everything and
theres nothing I wouldnt do for her. She starts to cry and I hand her over to her
mother who takes out her breast and feeds her. Mom comes in and takes a pic of
them.
Mama: Enkosi Makoti for this beautiful gift.
Yonela blushes and smiles. She turns to smile at me and I smile back. My mind is
not here but rather with Thando. In this moment, I wish it was her laying in this
bed holding my baby. I miss her so much and it pains me deeply. What have I
done?

~Thando~
Its still early December and Im laying in bed naked, well in my panties and a
sarong lightly covering me. December eSada is unbearable. The heat? Yhoo. Ive
showered twice today and tomorrow I have a gynae appointment. Im so lazy to
even do anything lately and Im only 5 months along. Yesterday, I saw Siphe at the
mall and she was so happy to see me. I just smiled because honestly, Im not in the
mood for her. Where was she when I almost died? Mxm fake. And Im sure shes
already called Melisizwe and said Im pregnant. Sigh. I just hope he doesnt come
here and demand to see me because to be honest, I wont be able to resist him. I
will eat him up like Im on death row and he's my last meal. I miss his penis and his
tongue and his hands and his mmmm... yho its been forever so dont judge me. In
other news, Thandiswa has given birth to a bouncing baby girl. So beautiful with
the families, trademark green eyes and hair. Shes a beautiful baby with her
upturned nose. They names her Amor Smith. Yeah, Thandiswa got married over
the holidays and it was spectacular. The colours were blush and pearl. Yho so
beautiful and big. I was her matron of honour. I wish mom was there to see them.
Her and her fam stay in Queenstown but after the holidays, we are all moving to
PE, permanently.

The next morning, I wake up, bath and wear a maxi dress and black chucks. My
hair is longer now, so i just tie it back and go. Ill eat in town, take myself out for a
burger at Dagwood. I grab an apple and catch a taxi to town. I get to the gynaes
practise and wait my turn. My name is called and I stand up and go in. I sit and we
chat for a while.
Her: You ready to find out the gender?
Me: No. I want it on the 7th month.
Her: Okay no problem. Any movement today?
Me: uhm...
To be honest, there hasnt been movement for the past two days. But I thought
nothing of it.
Her: Thando? Lets go check.
We get on the bed and I lift my dress and she applies gel on it. My heart is in my
throat as I patiently wait for a heartbeat. Silence.
Me: Why is there no heartbeat?
She goes quiet and rotates the monitor thing all over my belly, asking me to turn
this way and that way. My tears come unbidden to my eyes. Please Lord. Just as I
was starting to love it. Please dont do this to me baby.
Dr: Im sorry...

£30
~Thando~
My tears turn into screams as I crumble over and cry. Why me? Why me? Always
me. In that moment, Thandiswa comes in and rushes to me side.
Her: Baby Im so sorry..
I push her off of me and get up. David is seated in one of the chairs, he stands
when he sees me and follows me out.
At the hospital, the dead foetus is removed from my womb and cleaned. I no
longer have the energy to cry anymore. Maybe Im not destined to have kids or Im
just a bad parent. Thandiswa is crying by my side and Im just comforting her at
this point. In a way my heart is split in two, sad that I wont have my bundle of joy
and relieved that Im officially cut of all ties with Melisizwe. I shall mourn this child
accordingly and move on. I will not be held back by my misfortunes. Im done
being a victim of bad circumstances. No more.
The morning,I wake up and leave the hospital. Thandiswa's eyes are puffy and
hazel brown. Davids are just red. They seem so sad for me but I dont want them
to. When we get home I ask them to come sot with me at the table
Me: I know that you two feel sad for me. But I dont want you to. Yes this past year
has just been shit, from losing my mother, being divorced, watching my husband
marry another, miscarry and lose a baby but its all for a reason. I dont want to cry
anymore and neither should you. Yes I lost my baby and it hurts, but perhaps its a
blessing in disguise that we are still pained to see. From now on, I want us all to
start embracing life. Youve just got married and had a baby. You two have just
found love and you should be celebrating that.
Makazi is just balling with tears at the moment and David is comforting her.
David: How can we when life is like this? We care and love you Thando. Youre our
daughter too.
Me:I know, but my life isnt always going to be shit. Ill have good days too, you'll
see. Okay?
Makazi: Youre so strong baby.
Me: I have to be or Ill end up in a coffin and I cant. Life is too amazing to die.
Promise me no more tears?
She nods and stands up and opens up for a hug. I walk into her warm embrace
and feel her love. Its like home to me. I dont know why, but I just weep. I let it all
out. Funny enough,Ive just made a whole speech about no more tears but here I
am, crying a river. But I deserve to let it all out after what Ive been through. I
mean Im 19, 2 miscarriages and divorced. How many 19 year olds can say the
same? But I guess this is my destiny.
Its time to leave now, we heading for PE and my heart is heavy. This small town is
what Ive always known and loved,and now Im leaving it all behind. Im hoping PE
has all the best in store for me. I need a break from sadness and to live my life to
the greatest. Leaving Queenstown is bitter sweet for me, but a change of scenery
will be good for me. Im starting to get a little excited to leave. Malume and Oluhle
bid me farewell and get me a necklace for goodluck.
The travel to PE is short as Davids jet takes us there. Nice life living Im telling you.
Amor is such a bubbly, beautiful child. Shes very quiet, like her father. Cries only
when shes hungry, wet or uncomfortable. Shes 3 months now, and just adorable.
We finally get to PE and drive to the new house. Wow! Its near the beach and
quite isolated. The view is spectacular and the house large. It has 6 bedrooms and
bathrooms, a play area, kitchen, lounge x2, cinema, studies, swimming pool,
jacuzzi, pantry and massive garden. Im speechless.
Thandiswa: Babe?
David: Surprise!
Oh she also didnt know? Wow thats so romantic.

I pick a room upstairs and start unpacking. The rents room is downstairs with
Amor. I have a walk in closet like at Melisizwes house. I sigh. I dont know why I
miss him so much. Maybe its the fact that I lost yet another one of his kids or
maybe his smile... Adele's-Baby its you comes to mind and I find myself singing.

'Its not the way you smile thats touched my heart

Its not the way you kiss that tears me apart
How many, many, many nights go by
I sit alone at home and I cry over you
What can I do?
I cant help myself
Cause baby its you...'
A tear escapes my eye. I hate myself for missing him. He was nothing but hell to
me so why am I like this?

~Melisizwe~
Things between Yonela and I havent been so good since the birth of Jai. In fact its
been hell. We fight everyday about everything, even the smallest meaningless
things. She says that Ive never loved her, just pretended to. I honestly dont know
where all of this is coming from? I married her didnt I? I let go of my Thando for
us so what else does she want from me?
Jai is the cutest baby ever and strangely, shes my place of sanity. Her smiles melt
my heart and her tears break me. The way she coos and lays on my chest is the
best feeling ever. Theres nothing i wouldnt do for her.

Thando is in my mind and heart daily and the fact that shes pregnang haunts me
every waking moment. I find myself dialing her number at times to call but it
always goes to voicemail. Maybe shes changed numbers.
The month now is March universities have long opened but shes not here. Maybe
shes not coming back this year. Why? I drive home with little Azingce. Mom said
she wants to see her and let her spend the weekend there. Yonela needs the rest
anyway. I get home and Suzi comes and takes her from me. Wheres Sazi and Sim?
Me: Mom!!!
Her: In the kitchen!
I go over there and greet her and dad.
Me: Wheres Sim?
Mom: Away.
Me: Where? Kamvas house?
Mama shakes her head no.
Her: No, her and Sazi have gone to see Kanyisa for the weekend.
What?!
Me: What?!! And you didnt tell me this because?
Ma: Slipped my mind.
What the fuck!!! I storm off to my room and call Sazi.
Her: Bhuti!
Me: Hey! Where are you?
Sazi: In PE.
Port Elizabeth?
Me: PE? Why?
Sazi: With sis Thando. She lives here mos?
Thando moved? Do I sicken her so much that she'd transfer to PE just to be away
from me? Yho. Ive messed up.
Me: Oh. How is she?
Sazi: Fine. Happy.
Me: mmm.. hows the baby?
Sazi: Baby? What baby?
Is this some sick joke?
Me: Isnt Thando pregnant?
Sazi: No. Infact, shes hella fine. I dont know how you let her go. Honestly Bhuti.
But ke its your life, bye.
She hangs up. Heee undidele uSazi! The nerve of her to talk to me like this. And
what does she mean Thandos not pregnant. Kanti didnt Langa say that Siphe saw
her pregnant in December? Hee I have to see this to believe it. I strip down and go
shower, get dressed and go to the dinner table.
Its awfully quiet and awkward without Sim and Sazi to keep us all chatty. After
dinner, Suzi and I wash dishes. This gives me time to bond with her,
Me: So how are things in your life?
She frowns and looks at me
Her: You trying to make small talk with me?
Could this child be anymore obvious?
Me: Yeah
Her: Why?
Me: Haibo. What do you mean?
Her: well, whenever youre here you make it your mission to ignore me. All of you
do.
Do I really?
Me: I dont. And what do you mean by "all of you"?
Her: You do. The guys of this house including dad. Its like Im some fucken plague
that everyone is trying to get rid of.
Im struck by her words.
Me: Its not like that haibo? Well for me it isnt
Her: Yeah right. What do I do?
Me: uhm... youre in third year right?
She rolls her eyes, hiding the hurt that lays beneath them
Her: No! I graduated but you wouldnt know because the only person who ever
pitched to my graduation was mom, sim and Sazi. Im a fucken intern at a law
company, you jerk. But obviously you dont care because everything is always
about everyone but me. If I were to die tomorrow, no one would pitch because
Im irrelevant to your life not so? No wonder Kanyisa left you, youre an arrogant
and selfish bastard that should rot in hell with your dad and brothers too. Fuck all
the males in this family make me fucken sick. Go to hell with your small talk.
With that being said, she storms off, almost knocking dad off his feet in the
process. Yho! Im more of a fuck up than I thought.

£31
~Melisizwe~
Im left speechless and with tears in my eyes. Everything Suzi said is true and a
pang of guilt strikes my heart. Im such a bad brother to her. I didnt even pitch for
her graduation. Who does that?
Dad: And then? What happened?
Me: Did you go to Suzis graduation?
Dad: No. But I promised her a car.
Me: What the fuck dad!!! Do you know how much she hates and resents you for
it?
Dad: She said that?
Me: Yeah. All of us males in this family ignore her. How sad is that dad.
Dads tears fall down his face and he turns and goes upstairs, probably to Suzis
room. I follow behind because I feel bad for everything. How could I not pitch for
my own sisters graduation? When I get there, Suzi is on the floor with pills by her
side and blood pumping out of her arm. Oh no! What have we done? Dad isnt
here. Probably speaking to mom.
Me: Dad! Dad!
He opens his door and comes rushing. He sees Suzi in my arms and he starts to
cry. Mama screams and cries too. Dad quickly recovers himself retreats to his
room for car keys. I run downstairs with Suzi in my arms, shes so light.
In the car to the hospital I shake her
Her: Hmm?
Okay shes still alive
Me: Baby please dont die. Please Suzi Im sorry. Dont leave me just yet.
Dad is driving like a mad man and mama is seated beside him with Azi on her lap.
Mama: Not too fast baby. Please.
Dad slows down a bit until we get to the hospital. We rush in and Suzi is taken
immediately. I take out my phone and call Langa
Him: Hey
Me: Come to the hospital now.
Him: Whats up? What happened?
Me: Suzukiwe tried to commit suicide.
Theres silence, followed by a gentle sob and the line goes dead.
I call Khanya
Khanya: Bitch what now?
I want to laugh but not now.
Me: Come to the hospital. Suzi tried to kill herself.
Him: What the..
Click. Fuck what is up with my brothers hanging up on me.
I call Kamva, but it says the number is busy. I try again and again but to no avail.
Mxm.

Im in the reception area when Langa and the twins burst in with their wives.
Langas eyes are bloodshot red
Them: What happened?
Tata: Melisizwe knows.
The turn to me and I narrate everything that happened and Kamva cries on
Nomsa's shoulder. Its a sad sight to see. Khanya just buries his face in his hands
and so does Langa. Siphe is holding Langa and Olwethu is rubbing Khanyas back.
This is heartbreaking. Thando shouldve been here to comfort me. She gets me
even though we didnt know each other for long. I miss her so much and all of this
is my fault.
The dr comes out after a while and we all stand to hear what he has to say
Him: She'll be okay, out of danger. We pumped the pills out of her stomach and
stitched up the tear on her wrist. Thank heavens it wasnt too deep.
We sigh out of relief
Him: But...
But?
Him: Shes severly malnurished. Her throat is heavely damaged from the bile.
Im confused
Dad: No!
We all look at them, confused. Drs!
Me: I dont understand
Him: Shes bulimic. Whatever she eats she vomits out. Her weight is that of a
toddler. Im afraid that she will have to be booked into rehab as we also found a
large dosage of heroine or cocaine, we still are uncertain, in her blood stream.
We all gasp. Suzi was on drugs?
Him: But the goodnews is that shes alive and will do well. If she takes care of
herself.
He turns and leaves us. I crash on the seat and let the tears flow. How could I have
been so blind to all of this?

~Thando~
The arrival of Sim and Sazi has been the most blissful time in a while. Theyve
brought back life into me that I once lost. Sim was so excited to see me. She
actually cried. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to see a child cry of
happiness? Yho. She hugged me so tightly and I spun her around. Sazi jumped on
me and almost squeezed the life out of me. It was a sweet sight. I introduced
them to Amor and they loved her to pieces. Sim was talking baby language to her
and they giggled. Weird! Kids! Sazi was bursting with excitement, telling me about
her boyfriend and all. I was laughing my butt off. We went to the beach and Spur
for supper. It really was heavenly for all of us. But then our day came to a bitter
end, when Sazi received a call that Suzukiwe was in hospital. Her and Sazi,
through teary eyes, begged me to go with them home and come back Monday. I
wasnt going to have class on Monday so it was cool. Even Thandiswa encouraged
me to go.

We get to Cape Town and I call melisi.zwe through Sazis voice.

Him: Sazi.
Fuck that voice. Yeeer! Its still sexy as ever. I clear my throat so I dont moan.
Me: Hi. No its Thando?
Him: Thando?
He says my name in a whisper. Like a silent prayer.
Me: Yes. What hospital?
He tells me and I hang up. I drive there and carry Sim in while Sazi runs ahead of
us. As soon as we enter the waiting room, all eyes turn to me. I want to roll my
eyes but I refrain myself. I turn to Melisizwe. Fuck me! Yho hes so beautiful.
Especially now that hes beside himself. I go over to uMam'Naledi and hug her.
She cries on my shoulder, while carrying a sleeping baby. Must be Melisizwes
child, shes gorgeous. Yeah, me and Mam'Naledi stayed in touch even after me
and Melisizwe got divorced. She came to visit me almost every week after my
allergic incident the previous year. She didnt force me to get back with Melisizwe,
she respected my decision. Hence why I stayed in touch. She said I was like one of
her daughters and Sim called me with her phone almost always. I love Sim like
shes mine and Im attached to her like glue. I dont know why.
I go over and sit next to Melisizwe. Absentmindedly, I rub his back and comfort
him. He picks me up and puts me on his lap and buries his head on my shoulder.
My heart skips a few beats and I realise something. I still love him. But I cant show
him or Ill forever be drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
Him: Thank you for being here for Sim and Sazi.
Me: Its no problem
Him: Sim really adores you.
Me: And I her. What happened with Suzi?
He narrates the story and I find myself teary. Suzi and I were not close but I loved
her like she was my own flesh and blood. I would call her and her me but not once
did I think she was using. Im so sad for Sizwe because I know he'll blame himself
for this.
Yonela comes in just as I move from Melisizwe and gives me a rather weird look. I
dont know whether its nasty or disapproving but she can fuck off. Im not here for
her man. She gets their baby and calls Melisizwe aside. I hear them arguing and
the baby crying. Whats happening here? Melisizwe just gets in his fathers car and
drives off leaving Yonela and the baby behind. Woah. Seems like trouble in
paradise but thats not my shit anymore. Mama asks me to accompany Yonela to
the house and get the baby things. Yho!

We drive in silence to the house and Im holding baby Azi. My gosh could this child
be any cuter. I talk to her in baby talk and she giggles and so does Yonela. I play
with her and shes just a bundle of joy.
Yonela: He loves you, you know.
Me: Who?
Her: Who else? Melisizwe. He truelly loves you.
Me: oh okay.
How awkward. What can I say to that? This is none of my business. He can love
me all he wants but hes not getting me back shame. He made his bed, now he
must lay in it.
We get to the house and I pack their things in her car and wave them off. I start
cooking dinner for the fam and go to Suzis room. Its bloody and dirty and dark. I
open up the windows and clean her room for her. While I clean I find drugs in her
bag, yho. I put them on her dressing table and carry on cleaning until its spotless,
whilst checking on my pots at the same time. I finish up and switch the stoves off,
then go upstairs to Suzis room and flush the drugs away. She can hate me, but
this is for her. I hear the door close and go downstairs to check who it is. Its
Melisizwe.
Me: uhm, do you want some juice?
He shakes his head no and corners me against the fridge door. My heart is racing
at this point, he moves his head closer and his lips find mine. His mouth is cool
with a touch of alcohol but nonetheless delicious. I find myself responding to the
kiss and pulling him closer to me. His body feels so good on me again. Why does
he have this effect on me?

£32
~Thando~
Our kiss is getting heated as we pour our emotions and need for each other. My
legs are wrapped around his waist and his dick is pressing deliciously on my
cookie walls. But I soon recover myself and push him slightly and try to wriggle
free.
Me: Noo.. mmm
He stops and backs away
Him: Im so sorry.
I smile and move him completely off me andI go upstairs to Suzis room. What
have I done?
Mama and everyone come back and I dish for them. The mood is somber and
theres tension between Melisizwe and I. Sexual tension.
Me: Mama, Im not going to stay. I have to check in at the hotel.
Naledi: Haibo Thando why? Theres plenty of room here.
Me: I think it would be best this way.
I say glancing at Melisizwe. Heres the thing nhe, I cant stay in this house or
Melisizwe and I will definately fuck. And not a little bit, the whole night. I havent
gotten some in a while and he satisfies me greatly so there is a 100% chance that I
will sleep with him and I just cant allow that. Ive come too far to fall off the wagon
now.
After dinner, Melisizwe drives me to my hotel. Really?
Him: I hope you not leaving because of me.
I say nothing cause all Im thinking about is how delicious his dick would be in my
mouth. Im getting wet at the thought.
Him: Im sorry for kissing you. It was wrong of me to violate your body like that.
Me: Its okay.
We get to the hotel and I tell him not to come in.
Me: Thanx. See you tomorrow, goodnight.
He smiles and rubs my hand
Him: Sleep well.

In my room Im tossing and turning as I still feel Melisizwes penis on my vaginal

walls. Fuck Im so turned on by it all but I need to ger over it. Im here for Suzi and
not to reunite with my ex. Yonelas words keep ringing in my head that he loves
me, but I brush that aside. Im no longer his to love. My thoughts are disturbed by
a call.
Me: Hello?
?: Hey can you come to the hospital?
Me: Suzi?
Her: Yeah. Please I need to see you.
Me: Okay Ill see what I can do.
I call a cab and it drops me off at the hospital. I walk past the nurses, well more
like sneak around but thats not the point, until I reach her room. I go in and she
looks so skinny and pale. There is an instant lump in my throat,
Her: Hey.
Me: Hey boo. Whats wrong?
She crumbles and cries. I go over to her and hug her and soothe her.
Her: I wish things were different. Why dont they love me?
Me: They do baby. Your dad and brothwrs love you dearly just that they get
caught up sometimes.
Her: In what? Is work more important than me? For them not to even come
support me when I was graduating? Am I so much of a nuisance to this family?
I shake my head
Me: No angel you not.
Her: Then why dont they care for me?
I dont know what to say, my mouth runs dry at her question. In all honesty, I can
understand her pain, cause its the same pain I experienced with Melisizwe, but
unlike me, she cant divorce her family.
Her: Can you sleep here with me?
I nod and she moves up and we lay in bed together, she cries so bitterly in my
arms while I soothe her and hold her. After a while, she falls asleep and I follow
after.

~Melisizwe~
The morning, I drive to the hospital with dad and Mom. We go into Suzis ward
and find Thando and her sleeping so sweetly. Its a cute moment to behold.
Thando stirs and opens her eyes. So does Suzi.
Me: Morning?
Thando: Hi. Suzi, I should get going.
Suzi nods and Thando kisses her cheek. Thando wears her slippers and walks my
way.
Me: Hi.
She smiles at me. I offer to take her to her flat and she agrees. The drive is silent
and I drop her off. She thanks me and goes in. I drive back to the hospital and go
in. Tata is crying on Suzis shoulder and apologising to her, begging for forgiveness
and that he'll be more attending to her. Its a bittersweet sight.
Suzi: Had I not tried to kill myself would you have cared tata?
Dad: I always care Suzi.
Suzi: Enough to not notice my presence? To value all your kids but me? Tata admit
it. You dont love me. You never have. Am I even yours?
We all gasp. Where is this coming from?
Mama: Haibo Suzi what you trying to say?
Suzi: Explain why he hates me then. I have always been the black cloud in his life.
Mama has always been the one to take care of me. Wena all youve ever done is
throw money my way. You know...
She closes her eyes and sighs
Her: Leave. Please leave tata.
Im shocked but dad does as hes told and gets up to leave. Mama follows and I
move closer and hold her hand
Me: Im sorry for ignoring you. It wont happen again.
Her: Why do you do it? You give Sazi and Sim time, but completely obliviate me.
Me: I dont mean to do it on purpose. Just that they demand my attention and you
always in your room. So I never get the chance.
Her: So is that why you ignored Thando, cause she didnt demand your attention
like Yonela?
I sigh
Me: I think so.
Her: Oh. Do you love each other?
Me: Who?
Her: You and Yonela?
Me: I guess so. Why do you ask?
Her: Doesnt seem you love her. Like, dont get me wrong nhe, but I think you are
just grateful to her for taking you out of your depressive mode and you mistaking
that for love.

The drive back to Cape Town is silent and Im deep in thought. What Suzi said to
me stuck in my head and really, I dont love Yonela. Im greatful and appreciative of
her but thats just it. I pull up at home and go in. Yonela is in Azi's room, lulling her
to sleep. I watched them and everything Suzi said comes crashing down on me
Me: Yonela?
She looks at me
Me: Can we talk?
She puts Azi down and comes to our bedroom. I dont know how to put this? How
will I?
Me: Do you love me?
Her: Yeah haibo.
Me: No, really love me? Are you in love with me? Please dont spare my feelings
tell me the truth.
Her: Where is this coming from? Is this because of Thando?
Me: What? No!
Her: Then why all of these questions all of a sudden? What are you saying
Melisizwe? Spit it out!
This is what drives me mad. Her going from zero to a hundred.
Me: Dont talk to me like Im a child. Respect me woman!
Her: Ill fucken speak to you how I want.
Me: See? This is what Im talking about. The no respect. Dont piss me off. Dont
raise your fucking voice at me. Rha!
Her: Or what? Huh? What?
I storm off before I do something Ill regret. When did things get like this? We
were happy, in love or so I thought.

At the club, Im taking shots after shot, drink after drink, just downing my sorrows.
Why did I fuck up with Thando? This young girl pulls me to the dance floor and I
move with her. Our bodies grinding against each other, all eyes are on us as
Wizkid's- Come Closer comes on. One thing about me is I can move, the way Im
working this young ladies body as I bend her and twist her all over this floor is
emmaculate. When the song ends, Im a bit sobered up so I bow and gie her a
friendly hug then exit the club. I get in my car and drive home in my drunken
state. Luckily there are no cops patrolling or Id be in shit. I get home, open the
gate and go in. I lay on the couch and pass out.
The morning I wake up with a gruesome headache that threatens to split my
brain. Fuck! I slowly get off the couch, my body paining as I do, and head to the
bathroom. My path is blocked by Yonela
Her: Uvelaphi?(where are you coming from?)
Me: Out.
I push past her and go into the bathroom and do my business. When I come out,
Yonela is in the kitchen spitting fire and blazing hell on me. But really, Im unfazed.
Why did we get married? We were better off as lovers, no as friends. She was my
right wing man. Is this all a mistake?
Me: I think we should get divorced.
She stops what shes doing and looks at me. No words. No emotion. Nothing.

£33
~Thando~
The weekens was bitter sweet but atleast I got to spend time with my lovies. Now
its time I head back home and face reality. The flight is rather short and Kevin
comes to fetch me at the airport. And whos Kevin, you ask? Hm... wouldnt you
like to know. Hes my new boo thang. I cant be single forever. We still fresh wethu
and hes doing 3rd year in scientific engineering. Smart, nerdy but fine. He comes
from a wealthy family. He has dark brown eyes, chocolate smooth skin, a beard
(mega turn on), dimples and lips that are softer than butter on a hot summers
day. I cant tell you about the bedroom cause we havent done it, but soon enough
we will. Watch this space. I hope he doesnt do his own shit between my legs.
Anyway, he drives to my apartment and we go in.
Him: So how is she?
Me: Shes good babe, better than before.
Him: Thats good. I missed you.
Me: Me too. Sorry I didnt call you, I was held up. But Ill make it up to you.
Him: Yeah?
His body was already pressed against mine and my lips close to his. I nod and
move closer.

The moment our lips touch, the mood changes to savage mode. His kisses are no
longer sweet but needy. His hands roaming around my body trying to get a feel of
me. We remove each others clothes and he lays me on the bed. He dives headfirst
to my coochie and I must say his head game could do with some more work. But
he does leave me wet and wanting more. He trails his kisses up to my face and
spreads my legs wider. He tears a foil packet and slides a condom on his
impressive length and positions himself. He kisses me as he tries to slide himself
in me. Its breathtaking. Fuck his stroke? Impeccable yho.
Me: Kevin... mmmm...
He says nothing except breathe provocatively in my ear. He moves slowly in the
beginning, adjusting my coochie to accomodate his length. Fuck! Once hes
comfortable, he starts moving and pumping me, in a moment of weakness, I let
out a moan and silently cum on the sheets.
Him: Im not done with you.
What?
He flips me over and brings my knees up and lowers my back. He smacks my ass
hard. Before I can yelp, he slams himself in me and I scream. Such bliss. He grabs
my waist and starts moving hard and fast. Im grabbing onto the sheets for dear
life as he fucks me. Im moaning and groaning whiles hes silent, only breathing
hard and fast like his pace. My body cant take it anymore so I cum hard on his dick
and he calls out my name while tightening his grip around my waist. We are both
left breathless and wet as we come crashing down on the bed.
Kevin: If this is the reward I get whenever youre away, then you should go more
often.
I giggle and lay on his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat.

The morning, Im woken up by wet kisses on my neck trailing to ny breasts. I moan

when he sucks on my hard nipples.
Him: Morning.
His hand rubs my cookie while his lips lick my breasts. Heavenly I tell you.
Me: Baby...
Is all I can manage to say. He moves down to my honey pot and kisses me there. I
can feel my legs tremble and my pleasure building, then he stops. Like completely
stops. He pecks me on the lips, rolls over and gets out of bed. Uhmm... what the
actual fuck?! He dresses and im still speechless.
Him: Late for class. See you later. He pecks me again and leaves. Im flabbergasted.
He! Yho.

~Melisizwe~
Its Monday morning and Im with my lawyers drafting out a divorce settlement. I
cant keep living a lie anymore. Im too old for this shit. Heres the background on
me and Yonela: She was my friend before she was my girl. We were friends for
quite sometime when I was fucking her friend, then things went south for us and
we ended up breaking off but Yonela and I maintained our friendship. She made
me laugh, smile, happy and excited to wake up the next day. Thats how good
things were between us. Then this other day, we kissed and had sex. And I think
thats when we started dating. But Suzi was right, I never loved Yonela like loves
do. I loved her like she was my friend. And now its time to set her free so
someone else can love her the way she needs to be loved. She deserves that and I
need to take a time out and find myself.

At the house, I hand Yonela the divorce papers and she takes them
Her: My lawyer and I will review them and get back to you.
I nod.
Her: But in the mean time, you cant stay here.
Me: But this is my house too.
Her: If you stay, Azi and I leave.
I throw my hands up, resigning.
Me: Fine! Ill go.
I go upstairs and pack a small bag, then leave to one of the hotels and for the first
time in a long time, I have a peaceful night.
Its Thursday and Im meeting up with Yonela and her lawyers. I hope she doesnt
give me grief or hell will break loose. Im not prepared to sacrifice any more than I
have to. Ive already lost Thando and almost my sister.
Mr Kat: My client has the following wishes; half of what Mr Mvelase owns, full
custody of their daughter and R30 000 a month for child support.
I laugh. No, seriously, I laugh so hard I can feel the tears falling down my face.
Everyone is looking at me. Is this bitch for real?
Me: She gets the house and keeps her porsche and SUV, joint custody and R10
000 monthly. Or we'll see her in court.
I get up, look at her with such disgust and walk out. When did Yonela become this
greedy? She uses my money to get everything that she currently owns. The cars,
the international trips, the shopping sprees. I was the one who forked out my
hard-earned money to buy her that shit and now she wants to get smart? Bitch!

Im in my office, slaving away as always and my lawyer calls. Yonela is taking me to

court. Hee! Shes really serious. I call the bank and let them freeze all my transfers
to her. Lets see how she'll pay the lawyer. All her credit thats due month end, I
cut off. Let the bitch pay it herself. Fuck that! Its time to dance.
Today is Thursday and a whole week has passed since Yonela and I spoke. Her
phone rings, probably debt collectors and she looks drained. She said she'll drop it
all, but its too late now. Shes already infuriated me and now its time for court.
Anyway, she can call her uncle to pay for her shit mos, hes rich.
My lawyer, Mr Crawford is defending me superbly. Squandering any accusations
and claim made that was false my way, highlighting all my efforts and raising my
image as a father. The judge reaches his ruling and I get joint custody of Azi,
Yonela is not getting a dime of my money and R6 000 for child support.
Yonela is livid and throwing daggers my way but I could not givd two shits. Shes
claiming we bought the judge and all that bull.
Its Saturday and Yonela is moving out of my house. So am I cause Im putting the
house up for sale. Ive decided to move back into my condo which I bought years
ago when I was a bachelor. Its has 3 bedrooms so Azi will get her own. My condo
is already set up as Ive hired people to fix it up and make Azis room comfortable.
Also, Ive taken and sold all jewellery pieces Ive ever bought Yonela. Fuck her. I got
like R250 000 at most, which I was happy about. She wanted to be petty and try
take my money, ha! Clearly she doesnt know me.
Mom, Suzi and Sim come over to my 'house' to see me and of course mom
disapproves.
Mom: This place is too small for a small child. You must get a bigger house.
Me: Its not like you guys ever visit. Even when I had the big house... so its fine for
me and my child.
Suzi: How are you bro?
Me: Im good. Happy, relieved that Im no longer living a lie.
Mom: Mkm. So what next from here?
Me: I dont know. Maybe work on myself and find my feet. Then see where the
road takes me from there.

~Thando~
Im at Kevins place, preparing a meal for me and him. I havent forgotten what he
did to me last week and today hes going to pay. Who does he think he is? Making
me wet then leaving me hanging abd sexually frustrated. Ha! He will know me.
Anyway, Im wearing only sexy lingerie and a gown just incase someone knocks
and also for what I have planned. He comes in
Him: Baby! Im home.
Ha! Baby my ass...
Me: Kitchen.
He comes in and stops when he sees me. My robe is open and Im sitting in the
high chair sipping on some wine.
Him: Hey.
Me: Hello.
Him: You look sexy.
Me: Only for you baby.
He swallows hard as I walk to him, dropping my robe along the way. He drops his
book bag on the floor and I pull him to me. Kissing him as my hands make their
way to his jeans, while I unbuckle them and drop them along with his underwear.
As soon as they come off, I make my way down and put his rather, large, penis in
my mouth. I suck him so slowly and softly and hit go deeper, hitting his dick at the
back of my throat. He groans and the veins in his penis get harder, indicating hes
coming. I stop, get up and grab my keys. I get my gown and turn to him
Me: Gotta go. Im baby sitting.
Then turn to leave. Ha! You shouldve seen the look on his face. Priceless.

£34
~Thando~
Half way to my apartment, I feel bad so I make a u-turn back to my boos home. I
need some good dickinh really. I get there and get out. Theres thunder, seems like
the heavens are opening up. I get as the rain starts to fall and go in.
?: Harder Kevin, please... aaaah! Yeah!
Woah! Who the fuck is that? I move closer to his room and open the door. There I
find Kevin bending some girl, pulling her hair and fucking her hard, looks like in
her ass. Wow! Im a little turned on by this
?: Wana join?
My eyes move to her and our eyes meet. Wow. This is Angela. My so-called friend
that I made this year. Wow. Kevin gasps and Angela smiles. So deviously
Kevin: Baby... listen...
I shake my head and walk out. I can hear Kevins footsteps behind me, but I keep
walking. He blocks my entrance to my car door.
Me: Move and go fuck Angela!
Him: Baby... please... i...
Me: nothing! I heard how much of a player you were around campus and all the
stories that roamed, but still I kept my faith in you. But youve just proved me
wrong. Now get out of my FUCKEN path you piece of Shit!
He gasps and I push him past me and I go in and drive home. Im so pissed that I
dont even cry. Im just calm and drive to Davids place. I stand in the rain before
knocking on the door. David opens and the tears Ive been holding in, come
gushing out. He opens his arms and I cry in them.
David: Whats wrong nunu?
Me: I found Kevin having sex with Angela.
David: Ill fuck him up.
Me: No. Leave him. Let the guilt eat him up. Im done.
He brushes my back and Thandiswa comes downstairs in only Davids shirt.
Her: Hey baby, what happened?
I tell her through tears whats happened and she comforts me. Her and David give
each other glances and looks. Oh!
Me: Uhm... well I should get going, looks like I interrupted a lovers session. And
besides, both of you reak of sex, its quite a pungent smell.
They laugh and so do I.

On my way back home, I play the radio and my favourite song comes on and Im
singing in the car. Almost dancing even. My phone rings, unknown
Me: Hello?
?: Hi Thando.
Fuck I know that voice anywhere. Its him, my Melisizwe
Me: Hi Bhuti.
Him: How are you?
Me: Alright thanks and you?
Him: Im good.
Theres silence... whats the point of this call again?
Him: Just wanted to hear your voice again. Bye.
Click. He drops. How fucken random. I go past a pizza place and get food then
drive to my place. I could really use a friend right now. But pity mine was too busy
fucking my boyfriend to care. I eat up and call Suzi. We have an hour long chat
about ourselves. Then she tells me about Melisizwe and his divorce. Yho! And
here I was thinking that Yonela was a lady. Mkm how times have changed.
Anyway, I wake up early and go to the hairsalon and dye my hair shocking pink. Its
so crazy and I love it. I get my nose pierced which is hella sore and go to class. I
get there and Angela is seated in what used to be our usual spot. I go sit next to
this other girl.
Me: Hi, Thando.
Her: Hi, Qaqamba.
Me: Nie face.
She giggles and covers her face. The left hand has a ring on it.
Her: But yours is better.
I laugh
Me: Congrats. Arranged?
She gasps
Her: How'd you know?
Me: Used to be in.
The lecturer comes in and we sit and pay attention. He assigns us projects and
says we should work in twos. I smile at Que and she nods and smiles back. Yes!
We get up and walk out after the lecture. Angela calls me. I roll my eyes. I pull
Que with me
Me: Yes?
Her: Can we talk?
Me: Talk
Her: In private
And she gestures to Que, giving her a nasty look. Bitch nah
Me: You lost that priviledge when you were fucking my boyfriend, so talk. What
do you want?
Her: To say Im sorry.
Me: oh. Thats it?
Her: Haibo Thando?
I roll my eyes and walk off with Que.
Me: Promise you'd never fuck my boyfriend behind my back.
Her: Only if you promise never to seduce my husband
Me: Nah girl. I know what that feels like so I wouldnt dare. She laughs and we
swear on it. The rest of the day I spend with Que laughing and chatting. She really
is beautiful though.

~Melisizwe~
Thando still sounds the same if not better. Last night I was kind of stalking her on
Insta and facebook. I cant believe I let her go. My one and only. I miss her too
much.
The June holidays are fast approaching and news has it that, Thando will be at
moms for the holidays and I will then be making my move on her then. I just need
to be strategic about everything. The mood between Suzi and Dad is at its worst
to a point where Suzi doesnt even recognise dads existance. Moms trying to
mediate but failing dismally. Yho! The only person Suzi talks to is me, the rest?
yho.
Me: Suzi girl!
She laughs
Her: Are you sure you not on my team?(gay)
Me: Never. Do you know how good nookie is?
She laughs and pushes me away. Theres a knock on her door and dad comes in.
Suzi rolls her eyes. I attempt to stand but Suzi holds me down.
Dad: Suzukiwe, how long will you punish me for?
Her: I dont know. Until my heart starts feeling guilty. Until Im no longer sickened
by the moments you share with everyone else but me. Until I can sleep without
breaking apart. Until...
She breathes in, Im guessing to stop the tears from coming
Her: Until I know what its like to be loved by a father.
Dad: But I do love you. I always have.
Suzi: Words mean nothing if your actions dont follow.
Dad: Suzi please, I cant take it anymore.
My dad goes on his knees and kneels at her feet, crying.
Him: Please. Release me from this misery and Ill do better.
Seeing my father grovel and beg is a sore sight to behold. I cant witness this
anymore because its crushing me on the inside. I can hear sniffing, but I keep my
head bowed.
Suzi: Promise?
Dad: Promise
Suzi: You go back to your old ways and you'll never see me again. I mean it dad.
Dad: Okay my baby.
I look up and find them embracing and holding each other near and dear.

On my way home, Yonela calls.

Me: yes?
Her: Can you take Azi these holidays? Because...
I cut her off
Me: No problem. Just sms me when and Ill come fetch her.
Her: okay. Thanks.
She hangs up. Ive vowed to myself that no matter what, I will be there for my
daughter no matter what. Shes my lifeline. The least I can do is be civil to Yonela,
for the sake if Azi.
The rest of the week is rather dull, just work stuff and gym keep me occupied but
Friday schools close, which means that Thando will be here soon and my plan to
get her back will commence. I refuse to lose, but I wont pressurize her. Kakade
she was mine first and this time it will be different because it will just be us.
Anyway, Friday rolls around and I knock off early. I drive to Yonelas apartment
and fetch Azi, then we drive down to Cape Town to moms place. Shes very
talkative, well in her baby language, its adorable. I get home and Im welcomed by
Sim and Sazi. Suzi is in PE to see Thando. I hope she doesnt fuck this up for me.
Me: Hello family.
Mama: Hey baby
Dad: My son. Whats up bra?
No what the heck?
Me: aaah, no dad. Dont ever... that was... okay. Weird! Sazi!!!
She comes in dragging her feet
Her: yes?
Me: firstly, answer when I call and secondly, why is dad speaking like this? Its
hella weird yho.
Her: uhm, 21st century parenting is what they call it. Its mega awkward. Tell them
to stop cause they doing it infront of my friends.
I laugh and shake my head. Yeah, my family.

The weekend is great and mom is more than happy to take Azi when I go to work.
The monday, I decide to do something Ive been skeptical in a long time. Im
getting a tattoo. Yep, me, the business mogul whos been divorced, twice I might
add, at age 31 and is now somebodys father, is getting a tattoo. Im ao nervous.
Where will it be? What will it say? Will it hurt? I drive to the tattoo parlour in
Stellenbosch and sit in the chairs and wait. Luckily theres no one yet as its 7 am
and the tattooist hasnt come in. He finally arrives and Im nervous as hell.
Him: Shaun
Me: Melisizwe.
Him: How can I help?
Me: Im here to get a tattoo.
Well, duh dude! Shaun has the grace to laugh
Him: Okay. But where?
Me: on my left torso
Him: You sure?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Okay, what do you want it to say or symbolise?
Me: Id like words 'MeliThando' written in bold italics. Not too big but small
enough to be visible.
He nods and he sets up. I smile as I think of what Im about to do. It only makes
sense to have her name, etched across my heart. And, even if she doesnt take me
back, she'll forever be the woman who has my heart and soul.
£35
~Melisizwe~
Getting a tattoo is painful yhu! I sat still for an entire hour to get my tattoo done
right. But its all worth it. Thando has gone through a lot of pain because of me
and Im willing to walk through fire and hell to be with her. Some may argue that
Im too old for her but frankly, I could not care. She is mine and I am hers.
Shaun: Im done, you like?
Me: Oh sorry man, its amazing. Thanks.
Him: Pay at the front.
Me: Thanks man.
I go out and pay. I tip Shaun too for his work and go to work. Its like my chest is
burning, and I cant concentrate. I hope Im not allergic to the ink though. Im
finding it hard to concentrate so I leave. I tell Steve to cancel all my appointments
and I go to my place. Its Monday so Im bored. Arg, I get in my car and drive to
Cape Town. Im just going to spend the day with my sisters.

I get home and all 3 are there. Suzi has left her previous work as the contract is
up. I get home and take my girls out to Canal Walk for a day at the mall. They
shop and eat and just have fun man. Its been a while since Ive laughed this hard.
Sazis phone rings,
Her: Sis wam.
Thando?
Her: Nooo... but we planned so much.
....
Her: Okay. Congrats though. See you in two weeks then.
....
Her: Promise?
....
Her: Okay love you
Me: Say hi for me.
Her: Bhuti says hi.
...
Sazi giggles and looks at me.
Her: Okay. Love you most. Bye.
She hangs up and looks at Sim
Her: Thando says she'll call you tonight.
Sim: Okay. I miss her.
Yeah me too. Suzi clears her throat and looks at me. Did I say that out loud?
Me: What? No nevermind lets go home.
Sim: yeah Im sure mommy misses me.
We all chuckle. Mamas baby uSim yhu! But ke, she is almost 6, its her birthday
next week. I hope Thando comes through.

~Thando~
Im screaming my lungs out and jumping around with Qaqamba. Oh my gosh!
Sanele: Woah! And then? Whats the commosion? Is everything okay? Qamba?
We instantly stop and I look down. Sanele Yozi is Ques husband. He is about
Melisizwes age and very buff too. Hes a yellow bone and very cute. Him and Que
look damn good together.
Me: uXolo Bhuti.
I say that, kiss Que on the cheek and head out.
Sanele: Why you leaving Thando?
Me: I think its best that I go. You'll see why.
I turn to Que
Me: Hope to see you tomorrow. Call me so we can have coffee before we leave.
Love you.
Her: Love you most.
She smiles and I wink and leave. To be honest, Sanele intimidates me too much.
He never smiles and he has a rough, deep voice that is very authoratative and
makes me shake in my pants. Que loves it. Hayi shame it scares the crap out of
me. So I never want to be in his presence much, unless I have to. Dont get me
wrong, I like the guy, but from a far.
Que and I have gotten super close and shes just an angel. Shes a straight talker
and not afraid to voice her words. She doesnt take shit and is always fighting my
battles. She understands when I tell her about Melisizwe and all, and she supports
me like a true sister. I love that about her.

Oh, you want to know why I was screaming? Well... I and Que have been invited
to an accounting/financial summit. In Chicago! Im so stocked I cant. Thandiswa
and David were so excited for me and she bought me a watch( gold with
diamonds) to say congratulations. Her and I have got really close and shes like my
mother now. David is trying but he'll forever be my cool uncle. I can call him
about anything at any hour and hes prepared to listen. Awesome guy. So Im
leaving for a week on Friday and Im too happy.
Ill be excited to let you know, that I think and miss Meli less and less as time goes
by. I think Im beginning to heal. And I think this leave will do me good and get me
to really focus on my work. But sadly, Sazi posted a pic with her and him and all
my feelings came back. You shouldve seen him, yho! Sex was just oozing from his
lips, to his eyes to his body. He is sexier than ever yhu! He has trimmed his beard,
cut his hair(chiskop) and buff. Like that fuck me till I squirt buff. I just drooled and
I must say, got wet and masturbated to his pic. I couldnt help myself. He used to
be mine anyway.
Sim: Hello Sisi
Me: Hi baby how are you?
Im on the phone with Sim and Im dreading telling her Ill miss her party next week.
I dont want to crush my little baby.
Sim: Im fine how are you?
Me: Im okay
Her: When are you coming here?
Mmm! Here goes..
Me: Baby, Im going to come on the last week of holidays.
Her: But then that means you'll miss my party.
Me: Yes Im sorry nana, but I promise Ill make it up to you. We can do anything
and everything you like when i get back?
Her: Get back? Get back from where?
Me: Im leaving for a while but Ill be back.
Her: Oh.
She sounds so sad and my heart is breaking but i have to go. This is a once in a
lifetime opportunity.
Her: Okay. Bye now.
She hangs up. I know shes hurt, shes probably crying but theres nothing i can do. I
have to do this for me and my future and maybe my future kids. I cant depend on
anyone but myself. My phone rings and its Suzi
Me: Boo bear.
Her: Hey. So I see you finally told Sim?
Me: *sigh* yeah. Its heartbreaking but I have to do this Suzi.
Suzi was the first to know after my parens ofcourse, and malume and Oluhle.
Oluhle is now in the Free State, studying there. Im so happy for her, but Ill see her
in December again. I miss her. But anyway, back to the now.
Suzi: I understand babes and Im fully behind you...
There are voices in the background
Me: Suzi. Babes? Hello?
Her: Hey, wait, Bhuti wants to talk to you.
Me: Suzi...
Fuck! Am i ready. Its been almost 2 months since I spoke to him.
Him: Hey.
Damn, that voice. Yho it gets me everytime. Why?
Me: Hi
Him: I hear congratulations are in order.
Me: uh.. yeah... thanks
Silence... when did we become awkward? Cause the last call was also like this.
Him: So. Sim is a bit crushed.
Me: Yeah, I feel so bad.
Him: Dont be, she'll be fine. Enjoy yourself.
Me: I will thanks.
Him: Bye.
Me: Bye.
He hangs up. My stomach feels so giddy and fuzzy. Why is he affecting me so?

Friday comes around and Im packed and ready to go. Im so excited and ready to
explore the world. Que and I are on the way to the airport with Sanele driving.
They cant keep, well Sanele mostly, their hands off each other. Its so cute. I wish I
experienced this much joy in my marriage. But ke, all things happen for a reason.
Que: Baby stop! Thando is right here.
Sanele: So? Let me just touch it. Feel it.
Me: Ooooh! Euw... okay... wow! Thought my parents were roudy, nope I was very
much mistaken... euw!
Sanele chuckles and Que swats his hand away, Im guessing embarrassed. I take
my earphones out and plug them in. I browse and play Let me love you by Dj
Snake x Justin Bieber. This song. This song mara! It does things to my emotions.
Yho. My eyes are closed as I let the words soak into my head. The car comes to a
stop and I open my eyes. We're here. Thank fuck. I take my earphones out and get
ready to go
Que: Im going to miss you so much. Promise you will behave?
Sanele: I promise. I love you.
Que is tearing up so much.
Her: I love you most.
I get out as I can feel a pang of jealousy. I wish that was me. But my time will
come, maybe its not now. She comes out eventually wiping her tears and she runs
around and buries her face in Saneles chest. After a while, she pulls back and
wipes her tears and gives him one hell of a smooch. Im just standing there awkard
AF fam. But Im good. After a while, we leave and go in. Our flight is already being
called so we run over there and get ready to leave. First class baby!

*One week later*

Yjo my time in Chicago was amazing. Just fabulosity in its truest form. I learnt so
much and went sight seeing for days. I really enjoyed myself and so did Que. We
took so many pics and ate so much. It really was great. Im so glad I got to
experience this with her. But ke, sadly, it has come to an end and worst of all, Im
going home solo. Sanele came there and him and Que will be going to New York
for the rest of the week. How sweet is that?
Im on the flight back to Cape Town from Chicago. I miss Sim but Im not going to
stay long. Just 3 days then go back home. Melisizwe is the one to pick me up from
the airport and he looks so good in his suit.
Him: Hey.
I laugh. Hes holding a big board with my name and picture on it. Its so adorable
Me: Did you really have to get such a huge board?
Him: Yeah, so you wouldnt miss me.
I giggle.
Me: How can I?
He smiles and we share a hug. Its warm and it feels like home.
The drive to his home is silent with him stealing glances my way. Im so tired and
drowsy. Melisizwe slides his hand over and locks it with mine. I smile and look out
the window. He still wants me back and so do I, but am I prepared to go back
down that road again?

£36
~Melisizwe~
Her hand in mine feels like destiny. Im captivated by this moment and elated that
she hasnt snatched her hand away from mine. Clearly she must feel something
then or she wouldnt be smiling. We pull up at the house and I reluctantly let go of
her hand. Its early Monday morning, possibly the crack of dawn. I offer to carry
her bag in and she lets me. She opens the door and Sim jumps on her, thank fuck
Im behind her or she wouldve fallen.
Thando: Hi baby...
Sim: Hi. Did you miss me?
Thando: I did. But lets chat in the morning, Im really tired and need to sleep.
Sim: Okay. Lets go sleep.
Sim grabs her hand and leads her upstairs to her room. I take her luggage to my
room, force of habit, and go lock up. When I go back to my room, I find Thando
there changing into pjs. She turns and smiles at me. Her body does something to
me yho. Im literally swallowing so much, cause Im fucken drooling.
Her: Goodnight
She leans in on her toes and kisses the corner of my mouth. She grabs my dick,
winks and walks out. Fuck me!

~Thando~
After I leave Melisizwes room I run upstairs to Sims room. Why did I do that? But
yho I think its gotten bigger. It was never like this when we were intimate.
Aaah swear at me all you want, but I want Melisizwes body on me. I havent had
sex in a while and right now, I could do with some good loving before the next
semester. But maybe I shouldnt do it with him cause I know I will catch feelings
hard and fast and then it will all be game over for me. I need to do this
strategically so it doesnt backfire on me. As soon as my head hits the pillow, its
lights out for me.
In the morning, I wake up, wash mh face and brush my teeth. Then wrap myself in
a gown and go out.
Mama: Morning sunshine. Ooo love the red!
I giggles, more like blush and Melisizwe was sitting there looking all sorts of divine
and I swallow hard, thinking about last night.
Me: Molweni Ma, you good?
Her: Im fine baby. How was Chicago? Did you enjoy?
Me: Uhm...
Before I can answer my phone rings, its Thandiswa. Melisizwe is looking at me,
checking me out. Ha! Let the games begin.
Me: Excuse me... Hi baby.
I say walking out, I can hear Melisizwe huff and I want to laugh so badly.
Thandiswa: Hi nana, how was it?
Me: Amazing. Did you see my picks on insta?
Her: Yeah. And the ones you sent.
Me: Yeah so Im coming back Wednesday so we can talk and catch up nhe? Greet
little one for me and daddy dearest.
Her: Okay my love. I love you
I walk back and find Melisizwe staring at me
Me: I love you too.
Her: Awusekho sexy nje.
I giggle
Me: Ha.a ke uyazibona?
Her: Melisizwe ulapho
Me: ewe
Her: You trying to make him jealous.
Me: Yes baby, yho!
Her: haha I hope you know what you doing
Me: Babe trust me I know.
Her: haha okay bye baby.
Me: No you hang up.
Her: Oh umntana bantu sisono.
Melisizwe looks so pissed like he can just cry.
Me: Love you most. Mwa.
Makazi hangs up and Melisizwe storms out of the kitchen. Im holding in my laugh.
Yjo that was fun..
After breakfast, Sazi and I wash dishes and head upstairs to go shower. Then i go
back to Melisizwes room and get clothes to change. Thank Fuck hes not here or
hed fuck me silly, and of course I wouldnt say no. Melisizwe can fuck shame yho! I
get wet just thinking about the way he slides his big juicy cock in me, or the way
his tongue circles around my clit or the way he sucks my nipples or... mmmm... let
me stop before I search for him and ride him until my thighs burn.
Azi is just the sweetest soul ever. Ive been playing with her the whole time and
shes just beautiful man. She has her mothers dimples and her fathers eyes. She
really is a beautiful soul. I can spend hours watching her. She smiles a lot, speaks
baby language and super hyper.
Melisizwe: Youre good with kids
He startles me. Where the fuck does he come from looking this dangerously
handsome. He doesnt even try. He looks just like his mom, the eyes, the hair and
those lips. My gosh those lips.
Him: Thando? Stop drooling yho.
I smile, fuck Ive been caught.
Me: Im not. Just thinking.
Him: About?
Me: How much you take after your mom.
He looks at me confused.
Me: Yeah, you have her smile and eyes. Its really cute.
He laughs, more like blushes and walks out. Bingo!

~Melisizwe~
I dont know whats going on with Thando. Shes being so friendly with me and
complimenting me. Not forgetting the dick grab last night. What is she playing at?
Is she trying to hint that she wants me back or am I just reading too much into it?
I hope she doesnt have a boyfriend or Ill fuck him up. Nx.
Its lunch and we sitting at the table eating, Thando is sitting next to me. She drops
her napkin and picks it up, then lays it on my lap. Okay? Not long after, I feel her
hand going under my tracksuit pants and touching my 'man'. What is she doing?
Slowly and gently, she strokes him and plays with him. Mmmm... that feels damn
good. Im trying to keep a straight face but Im slowly starting to fail. I keep
drinking my water to suppress the moan caught in my throat. Thando! Her hand
moves faster and faster. Fuck me, shes jerking me off. Mmm.. damn... baby.. are
the words running through my mind. Im getting harder and harder, just as Im
getting close she stops. Pulls her hand out and licks her finger.
Her: Mmm... tastes good.
Mama: Thank you baby.
Fuck! My manhood is throbbing. I need to release or Ill explode. What is she
playing at?

My manhood eventually goes down, well after I finished what Thando started
alone. I feel so disgusting now. Last time I masturbated was 8-10 years ago. Nx.
Uyandiqhela(she belittles me). Anyway Im sitting in my room reading reports and
reviewing documents, when theres a soft knock on my door.
Me: Come in.
Thando walks in, closing and locking the door behind her.
Her: You'll have to be quiet. Everyone is up and about.
I dont respond cause I dont know what shes talking about. She comes to the bed
and pulls my leg so Im sitting with my feet on the ground. She opens my leg and
kneels before me, then takes out my mandingo, smiles and says
Thando: Its so huge. What have you been eating?
Before I can reply, she has me in her mouth. Oooh good heavens. Thank you. Her
tongue does wanders to my cock, especially the tip. She really knows how to
pleasure me. I muffle my groans and moans. She goes deeper and practically deep
throats me. My toes curl and my back arches slightly. Orgasmic shit right here.
Me: Thando... baby... stop... im... c-c-cumming.. sss... fuck!
I explode in her mouth and she swallows. Wow! She comes up and gives me a
light peck.
Her: You taste so good, its addictive.
She winks, smiles and leaves my room. What just happened?

~Thando~
After giving Melisizwe one heck of a blowjob. Ive been avoiding him like a plague.
I moved my clothes from his room and put it in Suzis. Ive been sleeping in her
room since and keeping myself busy with the girls. A lot so I dont bump into him.
At dinner, I sit between Sim and Sazi, much to Melisizwes irritation. Haha!
Things between me, Siphe, Olwethu and Nomsa have been rocky to a point where
if they come over,which was yesterday, i blatantly ignored them by taking Sim out
for ice cream and movies. It was so much fun. If it wasnt for Sim, I wouldnt be
attached to this family, but theres something about Sim that makes me love her
too much. Hence why, today, its hard for me to say goodbye. Melisizwe wanted to
drive me to the airport but I kindly declined and asked Suzi. I want Melisizwe to
beg and grovel if he really wants me back. Hes put me through too much for me
to hand myself over on a silver platter. Nah boo, that Thando died with her last
baby. Now? Im getting my power back. Ive let people walk all over me too damm
much. Now Im a warrior, a fighter that will not let any man walk all over her.

£37
~Melisizwe~
Hehehe! Yho uThando. I dont know whether shes a coward or smart but Im damn
sure shes stupid. She knows shes playing with fire, but yet she adds fuel to it all.
Heman! Im going to crush her bones and make her hate sex when Im through
with her. Yho shes brave, I mean none of my exs ever dared to do what shes done
to me. I guess thats why I love her most. Shes different and daring.
The holidays have come to an end and today is Sunday, the day before schools
begin. Sim is so excited and Suzi got a job so she begins Monday. Its safe to say
that the mood around the house is quite jolly.
Mama: Melisizwe..
Me: Ma?
Her: Please change Azi.
Me: No problem.
I unhook Azi from mom and take her. Shes pooped and it really smells. Nah I cant
fam yho.
Me: Suzi.
Her: No, do it yourself!
I pout and look at my baby girl, who is now sucking her thumb.
Her: Dada.
Im shocked.
Her: Dada.
I smile at her with tears glistening in my eyes. She just said my name
Her: Dada
Me: Yes baba. Im dada.
She giggles and I take off her nappy. Rhaaaaaaaaa!! Oh my shit Im going to vomit I
cant. It smells and its browney-dark. Yeeer! Im gagging but none the less I change
her using a lot of wipes to wipe her bum. Sies. After Im done, I dispose of the
nappy and go downstairs with her.
Mama: Is it clean?
Me: Ewe
Mama: Did you also wipe her nunubud?
Me: No. Just her bum.
She swats me with the dishcloth.
Her: uzotyabuka umntwana(she'll get nappy rash).
Me: see? This is why I say you do it.
Mama shakes her head, takes Azi from me and walks off, swearing under breath.
Obviously at me. Hayi never again. This is why Azi has a nanny at home. So things
like this dont happen. I know shes my child but I cant. Ill happily change the pee
not the poop. Rha.

I drop Azi at Yonelas house then go back to my condo and chill for a bit. Let me
call Thando. She picks up after the 4th ring
Her: Hello?
My words are caught in my mouth. Fuck, too late to back out now.
Me: Hey.
Her: Meli?
Me: Yeah baby.
Baby? Wheres this coming from? Whys it so hard to talk to her? She was once
mine, maybe thats why I cant talk to her.
Me: I miss you so much.
Her: Oh?
Me: yeah just called to say that.
I hang up. This is too much for me now. I turn over and call it a night.
The next morning, I bury myself in work, trying to avoid thinking about Thando
but its to no avail. Everytime I get a mini second to think, all I think about is her
mouth around my cock, hitting the back of her throat. Yho Im disturbed. Really,
Im mental because of her. My phone rings.
Me: Big Bro.
Him: Hey wana hang tonight? Im in town and could do drinks with my little bro.
Me: Your treat?
He laughs
Him: Okay. But youre unfair. You make triple what I do, but yet I must pay. You
really are your fathers child.
I laugh so hard. Langa though.
Me: Ofcourse. See you later.
Him: Yeah. Will text you the time and place.
He hangs up. Langa never says goodbye. Ever! Its like he has a fear of saying
goodbye. Weird!

~Thando~
Classes and assignments and tests will be the death of me yhu! Ive done 4 of the 6
and already Im exhausted. Second year is so denanding yho and I thought things
would get better. Ive sent my exam marks to my burser and they said they were
proud to jave sponsored me. If it wasnt for them, I probably wouldnt be pushing
this hard.
Melisizwe is the last thing on my mind at the moment, in fact any guy is. Im so
swamped in work that Im beginning to lose my feminine touch, Thandiswas words
not mine. Heee speaking of her, shes pregnant again. Yho her and David dont
play. They are the cutest and are so in love its gross. But I love them. They inspire
me to fall in love again.
Its test week this week and Im writing until Wednesday. Im overwhelmed I wont
lie and could really do with some sexual release to put things into perspective. But
where will I get cause I will not masturbate. Ha.a its not the same. And after the
whole Kevin debacle, Im in no mood to search. I have quite a dilemma on my
hands.
My phone rings, Melisizwe. Why is he calling me at this time?
Me: Bhuti
Him: I love it when you call me that.
He sounds drunk. Super drunk.
Me: Hey.
Him: Are you sleeping?
Me: I was
Him: Did I wake you?
Me: No.
Him: oh. So who you with there?
Me: Im alone
He giggles. What the fuck?
Him: Oh. You know, youre so beautiful. And sexy and you make me very horny.
I laugh. Haibo?
Me: Thank you, your handsome and sexy too.
Him: Really?
Me: a.ha
Him: Thats nice of you to say.
Me: What are you doing?
Him: Taking off my pants. But they dont want to come off. Can you help me?
I supress a giggle. Is he serious?
Me: But Im far nje.
Him: No youre not. You.. you...
Then theres muffling and shuffling and swearing. What is he doing?
Him: I took them off. I need to pee.
Me: Okay.
Him: Promise you wont hang up.
Me: I promise.
He sounds ultra sexy when hes drunk. Haw! My Meli. Then theres a peeing sound.
Me: Meli?
Him: Im in the bathroom. Wait..
I keep quiet
Him: Baby?
Me: Im here.
Him: Im sorry. I shouldnt have let you go. I love you so much, and I want to fuck
you so hard but mostly I love you and...
He mumbles on and on. Its so cute.
Me: I know...
Him: Wait... wait... ssssh... im not finished...
I keep quiet and listen to his mumbles until he falls asleep. I also sleep, with a
huge smile on my face.

Test week is finally over and today is Friday. Im going out today. Hopefully with
Qamba or Jason(my new Lamla replacement). Jason is so cool and happy. Hes
doing engineering and its quite difficult to see him but when I do, its a blast.
I pull up outside my apartment and theres a red ferrari there. Haibo! And its in my
spot. Did David buy a new car? Or is it Jasons? I wonder. I park next to the car and
I go up to my floor. My door is unlocked as I open up. Fuck. Should I go in? But
only one person has keys to my apartment, David. I walk in and receive the shock
of my life.
Me: Melisizwe.
Him: Hey.
He looks to die for in ripped jeans, knitwear and loafers. Simple but elegent.
Me: What are you doing here? How did you get in? Whered you get the keys?
Him: So many questions and you didnt even offer me something to drink.
Hes leaning against the wall and Im too scared to pass him and go to the kitchen. I
smile, and walts past him. He lets me through.
Me: Wine, juice or water?
Him: Juice.
He says it all so sexy. My nunubud is getting wetter by the second. I go to the
fridge and open. When I turn hes in front of me, smiling.
Him: So...
He pulls me closer and closes the fridge door. I swallow hard.
Him: You play with me then run away? Why?
I bite my bottom lip, suppressing a moan and look deep into his hazel eyes. Why is
he do beautiful? Im pressed on him and I can feel his 'man' pressed on my belly.
Him: Answer me.
Its a whisper
Me: Because I can.
I push him off me, almost losing my balance and walk past. Pheuw! That was
close. I pour him juice and myself and go stand on the other side of the kitchen
island. He pulls up his sleeves and the veins on his forearms pop out. Almighty! He
folds him arms and leans on the cabinet behind him.
Him: You know, you cant run forever. And this game you playing is very
dangerous.
Me: For me or for you?
He! The strength. Where did that come from? My shit.
Him: You. Because, as soon as I get a chance, I will FUCK you till you resent sex. Do
you understand?
I swallow hard and nod. I dont trust myself to speak. He gulps down the juice,
comes around and walks out. Woah!

~Melisizwe~
Thandiswa is the best. She gave me the key to Thandos apartment so I can
surprise her. I had to beg and apologise and promise not to ever hurt her the way
I did when we were married, or she'd make me pay. The way she said it made me
shake in my pants. Yho... anyway, seeing Thando, awakened so many emotions
inside me that I didnt think were there. Shes a gem to hold. She looked so good in
tracksuit pants and a hoodie. Not her usual outfit of choice, so Im guessing shes
had a tough week. Time to put my plan in action. Around 9:30 pmI call her.
Her: Hi.
She sounds flushed. I hope shes not getting fucked.
Me: Im picking you up in 30. Get ready.
I hang up. Now the ball is in her hand. Im taking her out to the club for some fun
times.

I get to her place at 10pm and go up. I knock and she opens the door looking all
cute in a short denim skirt, a cropped hoodie and sneakers. Shes wearing looped
earrings and tied her hair up. She looks amazing.
Me: Wow!
Her: You too.
She smiles, gets her little bag and we leave.
Me: Is there anything in there that you'll really need?
I point to her bag
Her: Cash and my phone.
Me: Cash? Im buying. Phone? Im right here. So no?
She smiles
Her: No.
Good.
She lifts her arms up to take her bag off and I spot a belly ring.
Me: When did you get that done?
Her: What?
Me: Belly ring.
Her: Its been a while. March I think.
I nod. Dont know how I feel about that.
We get to the club and we walk in. I hold her hand and we go in. She orders her
drinks and I just have water. Tonight, its all about her. She goes to the dance floor
and gives this white guy a hug. She pulls him to our table, obviously to introduce
us.
Her: Hey, Mel this is Jason. Jason, Mel.
The guy smiles and he gives me a hand shake. He then excuses himself and pulls
her with and they go dancing. The dancing looks innocent cause hes not grinding
on her. Wizkid-Come closer comes on. She runs to me and grabs my hand and
pulls me to the dance floor. As soon as we there, she stands in front of me and
starts grinding her fine ass on me, putting my hands around her body and
throwing her hands in the air. She can move. In a split second, i reciprocate her
moves and its like only the two of us on the floor. He body is like that of a snake,
flexible and together with mine, we are dangerous. Never in a million years, did I
think Thando can move. Fuck, Im shocked. I guess theres still much I need to learn
about her. Until then, Ill put sex on hold.

£38
~Melsizwe~
Last night has got to be one of the best nights ever. Thando had so much fun, pity
it ended up in tears. Well it was hilarious. So after dancing and blowing off steam,
we went home. She was a little drunk, okay a lot. So asked her if she wanted food
and she shook her head, but then her stomach growled and I laughed. Yho! Big
mistake! She started to cry, saying that Im laughing at her and I dont love her and
Im going to starve her to death. Hey! I bought her take out and she ate. Then
giggled and kissed me all over my face as a way of apologising. Mkm women. But
ke it was fun, regardless. I dropped her off and once I saw she was safe inside, I
locked her in with the key I had and left.
My phones ringing, unknown number and its a landline too.
Me: Melisizwe Mvelase.
?: Hi...
Its Thando
Me: Hey.
Her: Could you come over?
Me: Yeah, sure whats wrong?
She giggles
Her: Youve locked me in.
Me: yeah...
Her: Yeah so I need you to open for me.
Me: Im confused.
Her: My bag with my keys is in your car.
I laugh
Me: Oh. Im sorry babe.
Her: Its okay. But Im seriously desperately hungry and theres nothing to eat here.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: I was going to go grocery shopping today. But now...
She huffs
Me: Be there in a flash.
She hangs up.

I pull up at her place and unlock her door. I got her a sandwich and Steri Stumpie.
I remember how much she loved those. Shes seated on a high chair, sipping water
and looking good. My baby is beautiful haw.
Me: Hey. Im sorry
Her: Its okay. Thank you though.
I hand her the food and she eats while walking out.
Her: You coming?
Me: Where we going?
Her: Grocery shopping. Thandiswa might come over for supper and I dont have
food.
Me: Oh. Well Ill come on one condition?
Her: Whats that?
Me: You let me pay.
Her: Ha! Stay ke.
Stubborn! Yhu! She walks off and gets in her car. I lock up and run off to her,
taking my wallet and phone from my car first. This has to be the first time Thando
drives us anywhere. Her car is so cute, its a black Polo Vivo with a pink interior.
Me: Nice car.
She scoffs
Her: Thanks.
Me: And that remark?
Her: You drive a fucking Ferrari and here you are telling me nice car? Really?
She side eyes me before turning into the next lane
Me: Haike ngoku! It is a nice car. Its cute like you. Did you buy it?
Her: No David did.
I nod and keep quiet.
Her: Hows baby Azi?
She parks the car and unhooks her seatbelt
Me: Great. She said dada last week.
I say and open the door and get out. Then go around to her side and we walk in
together
Her: Thats so cute. You must be a great dad.
Me: I try.
She beams at me and we head for Checkers.

We go up and down the isles, practically buying everything. Then go to the wine
and she buys so much. How much is she drinking? Why is she drinking?
Me: So much.
Her: Yeah, some for Jason and Qamba. They asked me to get some for them, then
David and just nje for visits.
I nod and keep mute. I dont want to say anything that'll piss her off. We get to the
check and they scan everything, when its time to pay, I whip out my card and give
it to the lady. Thando grabs it and gives the lady hers.
Me: Sisi, dont take her card. It will decline, take mine
Thando: This guy has been stalking me for the past couple of days. Please dont.
Me: Dont lie.
And I kiss her, to distract her while taking her card and giving the lady mine.
Thando giggles and swats my arm
Her: Thank you. But next times, Ill knee you.
I gasp and she gives me a daring look. Its so cute that I find myself smiling. How
can I not love her when shes this playful huh?
I grab her bum as she walks off and she groans, loudly, causing passbyers to look
at us. Nc nc nc. Thando! We off load the grocery in her car and go back in.
Thando: Wimpy, my treat.
I shake my head no, Im not comfortable letting her pay.
Thando: Please Mel. Baby...
She pouts. Eish. This woman knows how to make me melt.
Me: Just this once
She giggles and throws her arms around me and kisses me. Its deep and
passionate. Then pulls away and drags me to Wimpy. When last did I eat here?

~Thando~
Breakfast with Melisizwe was great but unfortunately he had to go. Im just
grateful that he came and we didnt do anything because I would definately be
miserable now.
Im in the kitchen cooking dinner for my parents because I know that Thandi is the
one who gave Meli my keys. Mxm.
Dinner is served and I decide not to interrogate Thandi. She was doing it out of
the goodness of her heart.
Ma: How was the weekend?
Me: Fine.
Her: Just fine?
Me: Yeah. Yours?
David: Great, amazing, splendid.
The look at each other and David turns pink. Mhmm.
Me: Okay enough love birds. Stop rubbing it in my face. I get it.
They both giggle and carry on eating, with light chatter and laughter spreading
throughout the table.

After dinner, I wash up, lock and go to my room. As soon as i get in, I doze off.
My phone sounds like its ringing from afar, i search for it in my bed and answer,
rather sleepy
Me: Hello
Meli: Baby.
Gosh. When he calls me that, especially in his voice, makes my inside melt.
Me: mmm?
Him: You sleeping?
Me: mm.m
Him: Oh. Well I called to say Ive arrived safely.
Me: Oh good. Sleep well my angel, Im sleepy.
Him: Sweetest of dreams babe. Bye.
He hangs up. How rude. Doesnt even wait for anyone. And I sleep.

The next couple of days are dry with Mel occasionally calling me and texting.
Business men. Mxm. But yesterday, he said that hes got a very important meeting
to attend today and hed appreciate if I didnt disturb. Mxa right.
Im at the mall, shopping for undies when something catches my eye. Its these
beautiful lace and silk undies going at R670 each. Yho a lot of money but I buy
them. Now its time to play.
As soon as I get home I shower then put on some make-up. Not a lot just enough
to highlight my features, then wear the undies. Oh wow! The nude one is just
doing things to me, yho. I take out my laptop and start shooting. The bra is
completely lace and so is the bottom. You can see everything. Then theres the
complementry silk gown that only covers what need be. I take them off and then
wear my navy ones.
Im now dressed in jeans and oversized tee and editing my pics. As soon as Im
satisfied, I send two to Meli captioned: Nude or Navy? Then switch my phone off.
This will definately drive him crazy. Haha!

£39
~Melisizwe~
The meeting is a success and now Im on my way to my office. My phone pings and
I retrieve it to look at the message. Oh my fucken shit! Yhoooo! I found myself
whistling when I see the two photos. Why is she doing this to me? Nude or Navy is
the caption. I like them both. I want to rip off both and leave her exposed. I
quickly dial her and it goes straight to voicemail. Again, still the same result! Shit.
Shes doing this on purpose and Im letting her.
I grab my bag and essentials and leave. Im not in the right state of mind to be
here. I need to go anywhere or else Ill find myself in PE between Thandos legs
making her squirt and I dont want to do that because I will hurt her, badly.

As soon as I get home, I take a warm shower to relieve this tension on my

shoulders. I cant even get baby Azi because I had her the whole holiday and
Yonela wanted to spend time with her. So Im all alone this weekend. I step out of
the shower and it didnt help at all. I go for a jog and still nothing. Yho I need to be
buried deep in Thando. Fuck this shit.
I get into my helicopter and Dan flies us off to PE. As soon as we land, my
mercedes is waiting for me and I get in and drive to Thandos place. Im going to
have some good fun with her before I savage her up. On the way, I stop by an
adult store and get a mini vibrating thing. This will drive her insane for sure, she'll
know what Im made of. I get ice, liquor and ice cream. Im keeping it for just incase
things get steamy and she overheats.

~Thando~
Theres a knock on my door and I go open. Its Meli looking dangerous.
Him: Can I come in?
I step aside
Me: Hello to you too.
Meli: Hi angel face.
He leans over and gives me a dry kiss. Hes mad. I can see it in his eyes.
Him: Drink?
He holds up a bottle of brown stuff and I shake my head no. I want to be sober for
this. He pours himself a glass and adds ice and pours me juice with no ice and
goes over to the couch. He sits on the far end, away from me and switches on the
news. Im sitting alone on the big couch, wearing only an oversized shirt and pj
shorts. I open my shirt and look under and Im still wearing the navy. Yho!
Meli: So...
I look up at him and go quiet.
Him: What are you playing at?
I give him a blank stare
Me: I dont know what you talking about.
Him: You dont? Want a recap?
I gulp down my drink and just keep looking at him.
Him: Okay, you kiss me and grab my dick. Then you kiss me on my leg.
Should I continue?
I shake my head no. He sips on his drink and glares at me. I have no choice but to
look down, or away.

The room is filled with silence, the tv off, only with Melisizwe siping slowly on his
drink and licking his lips. Suddenly he gets up and comes kneels before me.
Him: Thando, I asked you a question and you didnt answer.
He puts the glass on the floor and gets between my legs. I dont know why, but Im
scared. His gaze is so cold and distant, its scares me.
Me: What was the question?
The bravery! Hey!
Him: What are you playing at?
Me: Nothing. Alls fair in love and war right?
Hey wena! I dont know where Im getting the strength from. But Im on fire. He
chuckles.
Him: Thats what they say. But is this love or is this war?
Me: You tell me.
Hayini bethuna! Like my mouth is completely detached from my body I swear.
He reaches up and pulls my legs apart. And holds the bottom of my shirt and lifts
it up, I lift my arms up and he takes it off. He smiles
Him: I see you already picked for me.
He goes for my nipples and gently bites it, I moan. His mouth is so cold on my soft
nipples that they harden immediately. He smiles and pulls back. He takes my
shorts off and whistles.
Him: Do you know how gorgeous you are?
Me: No.
Him: Well you are.
I blush and he skims his tongue over my nunubud making me shift slightly.
Him: I want you to scream and squirt.
I keep quiet. What can I say?

In the bedroom, Meli is completely naked and Im still in my lace underwear.

Me: Please dont rip my underwear off, I like them.
He chuckles a little with his head on my neck
Him: Ill see what I can do.
His hand is on my coochie. Gently stroking the fabric and his mouth makes its way
to my nipples. Im pulling him to me and pressing my already hard nipples further
into his mouth. His other hand gently rubs me and it all feels good at once. Im
restless and moving my hips in circular motion. Just as Im closing in he stops. No!
Him: You make me feel things Ive never felt before...
With that being said he slowly and deliberately rips off my panties. Nooo! Im
about to protest but his mouth finds my clit, circling it, sucking, blowing and
gently biting. This man mara!
Me: Aaah! Meli... im close... dont... no...
My legs start to quiver and shake, Im going to come, Im closing in and then...

~Melisizwe~
As soon as Thando nears, I put the ice on her clit and she stops. Haha! The
torture. I repeat the procedure and everytime she gets close to climaxing, I cool
her down. I know for sure its driving her insane, having her pleasure taken from
her. Finally, she cracks.
Her: Meli... please Im sorry... please baby I cant...
Its a plea, almost a sob. I smile and lick my lips and go up to her mouth.
Me: How sorry are you?
Her: Terribly sorry, it wont happen again... just stop I cant take it anymore...
I smirk at her, peck her lips and turn her over. She bring her knees up and I smack
her ass, hard! Before she screams, I slam my penis in and she lets out a huge
scream! Yes! I get out, turn her on her side and lift her leg. I slide in and she
groans. Taking the vibrator, I place it on her clit and start moving. Her nunubud is
so tight damn, Im enjoying myself. Its like my own personal, penis glove. I move
faster and harder. Going deep and circling my hips with each thrust. Shes calling
my name, playing with her nipples, biting her lip. Her kitty tightens and I feel
close.
Her: Baby... Im cuming... dont... aaah!
She squirts on me, like a running tap. Damn girl. I follow soon after and come
crashing down on her. Yho! I switch off the vibrator and lay on her and kiss her. I
roll over and we catch our breaths.

She giggles and screams.

Her: Yho! Youre a savage.
Me: Only for you baby...
Im laying near her neck and gently kissing her and shes giggling like a school girl.
Her: Thats ticklish stop.
I move back and look at her.
Me: Since when?
Her: Since now. I hope you not leaving hickies all over me.
Me: Infact, I am.
Her: No baby, what will Thandi and David think.
Me: That I love you.
She blushes and kisses the tip of my nose. How weird. Theres silence for a bit.
Her: Bhuti?
Me: Mmm?
Her: What is this?
I sit up on my elbow and look at her.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Am I just your rebound, fuck buddy, booty call?
Me: Haibo where did you get that from?
Her: Answer my question first.
Me: I want you to be mine. All mine, no one else but me. You make me happy,
feel joy, laugh and excited for a new day.
Im looking deep in her eyes as I say this.
Me: So will you?
Her: I will try.
I laugh. She cant be serious.
Me: Try?
Her: Yeah, to be the best girlfriend and lover ever.
Me: You dont have to you already are.
She smiles and I smile back. I wish I could have this moment forever. She reaches
for her phone and we take a pic together. Mission accomplished. Signed, sealed
and delivered.

~Thando~
Im officially Melisizwes girl. Im so happy right now, because I honestly and truelly
do love him. He makes me happy and thats what natters most. I just hope he
doesnt go back to his old ways. Because, there will be a no more us after, it will
kill me inside but I will have to pick myself up and move on. This is his last chance
and I hope that we make it work. For us!
Meli: Baby?
My thoughts are disturbed by his sexy deep voice.
Me: Hmm... have I ever told you how much I love your voice.
He kind of giggles.
Him: Why?
Me: It turns me on, gets me wet just by hearing it.
He has a full on laugh. He stops when I see Im not laughing, Im actually biting
down on my bottom lip.
Him: Serious?
Me: Yeah. Baby your voice is heavenly shame.
He blushes.
Him: Thank you... but youre distracting me.
Me: Sorry, what were you saying?
Before he speaks, I give him a long tender smooch, then pull away.
Him: woah!
I smile
Me: Baby...
Him: Oh yeah, what happened?
Hes holding my belly. My breath catches in my throat.
Me: What are you talking about?
My voice is shaky, threatening to awaken my sleeping tears.
Him: To the baby?
I take a deep breath. Siphe obviously mustve told Langa, who then told Meli.
Me: Her heart stopped.
The room falls silent as we both take in what Ive just said. After a while, he speaks
Him: Why didnt you tell me?
I keep quiet. What? So he can think I was trying to get him back? Or trying to ruin
things for him and his bride? No. I wanted the baby to be my blessing and my joy.
Without him.
Him: Thando, ndiyathetha!(Im speaking to you).
Me: I dont know.
He gets up off the bed, hes furious.
Him: You dont know? YOU DONT KNOW!
He was yelling. So much for pillowtalk.
Him: Where you ever going to tell me? HE!
I keep quiet and look away. Was I?

£40
~Thando~
Melisizwe is glaring at me.
Him: Answer before I lose my cool.
Me: (calmly)I was.
Him: When?
His voice is low, too low.
Me: After I gave birth. I didnt want to be the reason behind your divorce with
Yonela. You were so happy and I didnt want to ruin that for you. Thats why I kept
quiet and kept my distance
He huffs and looks at me in the eyes. He looks pained, regretful even.
Him: But she was my child too. Did you hate me that much that you didnt want
me in your life?
I shrug my shoulders.
Me: Not hate, well a little. Just disappointed, sad and angry.
He stands up and covers his face with his hands. Im guessing frustrated.
Ms: Whats that?
He peaks at me through his hands
Him: What?
I point to his peck. Looks like writing of some sort.
Him: A tattoo.
I quickly get up and crawl to his side of the bed and pull him closer so I can look at
it. My heart melts immediately.
Me: MeliThando?
He smiles and looks away. I beam at him. Oh my gosh, im on cloud 9, how cute is
he. I pull him to me and he lays on top of me. I roll him over and lay on top of him
and kiss his left torso where our names are.
Me: So...
Him: Yeah.
Me: Why? What if we didnt get back together?
Him: I wouldve tried harder. I mean it when I say I love you. I know I hurt you
baby and I will live my life trying to make it up to you. Im so sorry Thando for
hurting you the way I did.
He slides down and kneels beside the bed. By now, my tears are beginning to fall,
one by one.
Him: Baby, I made a lot of empty promises before and I know I'll have to prove my
love to you and I will. Im not risking letting you go again. Youre my lifeline, my
reason for breathing, for living. I need you Thando, and I know and understand it
will take time for you to fully trust me with your heart again. But Im willing to wait
because Id rather wait for you than lose you forever.
~Melisizwe~
Waking up next to the one I love has got to be the best feeling ever. Shes looking
at me and I feel shy. Why is she doing this to me?
Her: You make the cutest ugly faces when you sleep.
I burst out laughing. Thando though.
Her: Good morning.
She plants a soft peck on my lips. Im blushing so hard now.
Me: Morning. Whats the time?
Her: past 6.
Me: So early?
Her: Yeah... and it looks like its raining today.
She snuggles in closer to me. Her bare, warm, soft skin on mine. This feels out of
this world. I find myself moaning, my 3rd leg on her thigh.
Her: Youre so hard.
Me: For you, always.
She giggles and flexs her hip.
Her: Baby?
Me: Mmm?
Her: Why do you love me?
She shifts her head and looks at me. Fuck. Shes putting me in the spotlight. I hate
this. I clear my throat.
Me: Well, firstly your warm heart, your smile, your eyes, your laugh, how you
show patience, love and care in all things you do. How humble you are and how
easy you are to love. You dont pretend to be anyone else but yourself and that
alone attracts me to you.
Shes blushing so hard with her dimple showing and her cheeks slightly red.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah.
She giggles and kisses my beard.
Her: Arent you going to ask me?
Me: Im scared of the answer.
She pokes my side making me jerk a little.
Her: Oh whats this? Mr Mvelase ticklish?
Me: No, dont. Please or...
She does it again and I laugh.
Me: Thando!
She stops and bites her lower lip. Seductive I tell you. She edges closer and kisses
me again, this time rolling me over and getting on top. She holds my already erect
penis and slides me in. Damn...

Im wearing only my pj pants as I sit and eat on the kitchen counter. Thando is
sitting opposite me, only wearing my shirt. We steal glances, no one saying a
word. She shifts in her seat and Im just quiet.
Me: Food tastes great.
She smiles and nods. I get up and go around and put the plate in the sink and
stand behind her. Her breath starts changing. Im effecting her the way shes
affecting me. Its a relief. I wrap my arms around her and lay my head on her
shoulder.
Me: So..
I say while nibbling on her ear lobe making her squirm and giggle. I kiss the back
of her ear. She just smells so good, its mesmerising.
Her: Mmm?
Me: My plans for today are ruined but I always have a back up.
She snorts at my remark. Okay?
Her: Which is?
Me: Movies, food and you.
She giggles
Her: And me? What about me?
Me: Do whatever you want and get to know you better. What do you want to do?
Im yours babe so anything you want you can have.
She smiles and sighs.
Her: Okay. But Im not cooking. Junk food is what I want and I see you bought ice
cream.
She unfolds from my embrace and washes our plates. Im just sitting admiring her
body. Damn.
Her: Stop drooling.
Me: How can I not when you look this damn good?
She blushes and looks down. I pull her inbetween my legs and lock her in. The
hold her face and kiss it all over. Shes giggling like a little school girl which makes
my soul rejoice. After a while I stop and unhook my legs.
Her: Youre too cute.
Me: ha! Cute? Im too old to be cute. Im not a baby.
Her: You are. Youre my baby.
I smile like a love struck fool and she smiles back. She reaches up on her toes and
kisses the tip of my nose.

After showering and fooling around, we're at the mall, looking for warm clothes
for me. Shes holding my hand and Im holding her purse. My baby kodwa! I settle
for a hoodie, jeans and boots. I go to the bathroom and change. When I come out
shes standing with a beautiful young lady and their laughing.
Me: Hey.
Her: Hi. Baby this is Qaqamba my best friend. Que, Melisizwe.
Que: Oh? Hes... oh no wonder.
She extends her hand and gives me a firm handshake. Thando slides her hand in
my back pocket and squeezes my bum. I almost jump. Tshini! I look at her and
smile whilst shaking my head slightly. If this is what being inlove is like, then I
want to fall in love over and over again. With Thando!
Me: Pleased to meet you.
Her: likewise.
A man comes our way and wraps his arms around Que and she giggles. Wait, I
know him.
Me: Sanele?
Him: Melisizwe?
We both get excited and share a brohug.
Me: Dude?
Him: Bra! Long time...
Me: Yeah. What have you been up to?
Que: You know each other? How?
Sanele: High school and varsity.
Me: Best years... well of school.
We both laugh. Sanele is a year younger than me but the way we were in high
school you would never say. After varsity, we all graduated and we seemed to
lose contact with each other. But now, we're back.
Him: Bra, what are you doing this side?
I signal to Thando using my head.
Him: Oh. You stay here or just weekend things?
Me: Weekend things. Boyfriend duties.
We laugh and fist bump.
Me: You?
Him: I stay here with my lovely wife.
Me: Oh? Congrats man.
I look at him and Que and theyre really good together. Sanele hands me his phone
and I put my numbers in. Thando is silent the whole time and we leave, after
grabbing junk food on the way.

~Thando~
We're back at the apartment, cuddled on the couch with a pizza between us,
wine, snacks and a chickflick.
Him: Why you so quiet?
Me: No reason why?
Him: Eversince weve come back from the mall, youve been quiet.
Me: Really? I dont know. Didnt notice.
Him: mmmm... so whats your favourite colour?
Random!
Me: Uhm... grey.
Him: What? Grey?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Its so gloomy
Me: Haibo? You like black and I dont say anything
He blushes
Him: No thats different, black is beautiful.
He wriggles his eyebrows and I cant help but laugh. Such a stoege. Who knew?
Him: I love it when you laugh.
I smile and he has a sad expression on his face.
Him: Pity, I couldnt make you do that more often before.
I hold his hand and he looks at me in the eyes, he looks so sad.
Me: Well you do now.
I lean over and give him a reassuring kiss.

Im in the kitchen, in only a t-shirt.

Why? Well, you guessed it, Melisizwe fucked me on the couch. It was erotic and
steamy and wonderful. Yeah, you can go ahead and judge me and say Im giving
myself too easily to him but if ypuve never been inlove, please take several seats
down. I love Melisizwe and Id do anything for him. And I know for a fact he'd go
through hell to be with me. This right here? This is whats important right now.
The fact that we have each other and are willing to do whatever it takes to be
together.
Im busy in the fridge when he comes up behind me and moves his hand around
my waist.
Me: Miss me?
He says nothing except put his hand down to my coochie and dip his finger in.
Mmmm... he take it out and puts it in his mouth. 😮.
Him: You taste so good.
And he walks away, with the finger still in his mouth. Im to shook to say anything.
What can I say?

£41
~Melisizwe~
Today is Sunday, the day I go back to Cape Town. Im sad to leave. I really dont
want to go. I want us to stay in our bubble forever. She completes me.
Me: I dont want to go
Her: I dont want you to leave.
We're at the terminal, sulking over my departure. This weekend was nothing
short of blissful and I wish it wouldnt come to an end, cause this coming weekend
I wont be able to come because Azi is coming to me. I wish Thando could come
with me but she has to attend school. Yho I really feel like crying now. This is
heartbreaking saying goodbye. I pull her in for a long kiss. I pour all my emotions
in this kiss and i can feel my cheeks getting wet. She must be crying. When I pull
away, she looks down and I wipe her tears away.
Her: When will I see you again?
Me: I dont know baby. Im going to Ghana for a week and then Tanzania after. I
wish you could come with me.
Her: Me too.
She has a hiccup and wipes her falling tears. My heart feels like its tearing. This is
worse than when we got divorced, because now Im able to fully understand and
accept my feeling for her.
Her: Will you miss me?
Me: More than words can describe
Her: Me too.
Me: I love you Thando. I really do please never forget that okay?
She nods and kisses me one more time before I get out and go into the helicopter
back home. My tears are on the brim of falling, but I compose myself, as hard as it
may be.

~Thando~
The week is slowly wearing me down. I think Im going crazy in thia apartment
because it feels like its suffocating me. Everything smells and reminds me of him,
from the bed sheets, to the couch and even the food. The FOOD PEOPLE! How my
food smells of him baffles me too. And no, I havent cried, just grim and moody.
And seeing Que and Sanele makes it worse. I should apologise to her for snapping
at her yesterday.
Okay heres what happened, she offered to come pick me up because I told her I
dont feel like driving. She knows very well how down Ive been about this whole
long distane thing with Melisizwe and yet she still rubs her and Sanele's love and
happiness in my face. Like I need that shit right now. So I snapped. Like really
snapped and didnt talk to her the whole day till now.
Her phone is ringing, unanswered. She probably hates me, I would too. I try again
and she picks up on the third ring.
Que: Hello?
Me: Que Im sorry for snapping at you yesterday. That was really bitchy of me and
Im truelly sorry about that. Please forgive me.
Her: Baaabe! Its okay, I mean I kind of deserved it.
Me: No. You didnt.
Her: Its okay. Want me to come over?
Me: (sigh) no Im not good company at the moment and Im going to go home. Its
like this apartment is suffocating me.
Her: Oh okay.. well Im here if you need me.
Me: I know thank you. Love you.
She giggles
Her: Love you too.
Sanele says something in the background and Que giggles and then screams. I
drop the phone.
Im back at home and Im enjoying every minute of it. Thandiswa and David are
spoiling me and Amore and Im feeling a tad bit overwhelmed. I dont like it when
people fuss over me, its annoying. I know they mean well but still.
Me: Im going back tomorrow.
Thandiswa puts down her fork and David clears his throat while wiping his mouth
with the napkin. We at the dinner table having supper.
David: Why? Do you not like it here?
Me: No. What makes you think that?
Thandi: Well, baby, you hardly ever come home and when you do, you stay for a
short while and leave so quickly.
Really?
Me: Really?
They both nod.
David: Have I done something to offend you or?
Me: Noo, good grief no. You two have been spectacular and the greatest parents
to me. Just that..
Eish, can I say it? Feels weird though.
David: What?
Me: Youre newly weds you know. Just married. Fresh off the market. So I didnt
feel like intruding or hearing Thandi moan. Ive been traumatised once.
Thandi gasps. And David bursts out laughing. Then she starts to cry. Ah oh!
Her: So its me?
Me: Nooo! Im joking. Just that I once accidently heard you guys and then it clicked
that youre still young and in your honeymoon phase.
Thandiswa cries more and gets up from the table to leave. Fuck me and my big
mouth. Why! David is still chuckling,
Him: Dont worry about it. Probably the hormones.
He smiles and I smile faintly and wash the dishes.

Theres a faint knock on my bedroom door and Thandiswa walks in. Her eyes are
puffy and hazel brown. She comes over and hugs me tight
Her: Im sorry baby face.
Me: Its okay.
The room falls silent.
Her: So you really leaving tomorrow?
Me: I have an 8am class Monday which I absolutely cannot miss. Im presenting
with Que and it will determine whether we go to Germany or not these holidays.
She gasps.
Her: You going to Germany?
Me: I dont know. I hope so
Her: For how long? Why didnt you tell me?
Me: Because I didnt want to get my hopes up for something that might not
happen and get you excited over nothing.
Her: Oh. But you will get it. You work really hard.
Me: I hope so.
My phone rings and Melisizwes face pops up.
Thandi: I think thats my que to leave.
I giggle and she leaves.
Me: My nunuberry...

*3 months later*
Its now November and Im preparing to leave for Germany with Que and Sanele.
Melisizwe and I are great. Even though its long distance we making it work. Last
week, he brought me back these gorgeous diamond earrings but I couldnt accept
them. Ha.a they were too much but then I ended up feeling bad and took them
only because he bought them with the hopes of making me happy. Dating a rich
older man though😕. Hayi!
Today is my last day here before I leave and not once has Melisizwe called or
answered my calls. And I know hes well cause Yonela posted a pic of him and Azi
on the beach titled 'Family Bonds'. And I know its from today cause Suzi said he
was at the beach. Im so mad, livid, furious! From two days ago he hasnt been
answering my calls, nx! Fuck this.
Im on the way to the airport with Thandiswa and David, playing with Amor and
taking picturs with her. Her sparkling blue eyes have my heart melting everytime
Im holding her. My phone rings uts Melisizwe.
Me: What?
Him: Baby haibo?
Me: What do you want?
Him: You
Me: Mxm. Youre about two days too late.
Him: Im sorry nje. I was busy.
Me: Too busy to answer my calls? Even send a fuckibg text? Mxm
Him: Haibo Thando I do get hung up on a lot of things. I have a child so...
Me: Lucky you who has a mini you to take care of.
Him: No babe I dont mean it like that. I meant...
Me: Go to hell.
I drop the phone and scream out of frustration. David and Thandiswa keep quiet.
I mean how does he think I feel seeing him play happy families with hus ex and
not taking my calls for days at a time? Insensitive prick. And what did he mean by
'I have a child'? Is he blaming me for the miscarriages? Rha! Mxm, fuck Melisizwe,
let me go enjoy my time in Germany and secure my future.
~Melisizwe~
Im such a fucken dickgead at times. Why do I say the most insensitive and hurtful
shit to the ones I love? Ive tried calling Thando back a few times but it goes
straight to voicemail. Shit!
Now, before you judge me, I really have been busy these past few days at work. I
was in meeting after meeting, site inspections, material checks, architectural
drawings and budget costs. I was hands on and didnt get time to breathe. When
Id get home I just slept. Thando would constantly cross my mind, but would be
disturbed everytime I thought of calling. And why was I so busy? Well, I plan on
taking a week leave to go see her in Germany. So I was wrapping things up and I
wanted it to be a surprise but now? Im not so sure.
And no, theres nothing, zero, zilch going on between me and Yonela. Yes we had a
family day for Azi and thats it. Only because I was going away. And I didnt answer
any of my calls cause I left my phone at home. I wanted the day to be just about
her. Yeah I couldve texted Thando and now in hindsight I see I shouldve. But
whats done is done, now its time to fix the damage.

A whole week has past and Thando is not taking my calls which is driving me
insane. But I know shes enjoying herself, I see her pics on social media with Que
and some shes alone. I now know the feeling she was going through when I didnt
answer and I can assure you, its torture. I wake up Sunday morning and get ready
to leave. Time to go fix things with me girl. Im so nervous now, will she be happy
to see me or will she babg the door in my face?
On the flight there, Im restless and agitated and nervous. I drink some whiskey to
calm me down. I guess Ive drunk a little too much because Im feeling very fuzzy
and sleepy.
The flight attendant gently wakes me and Dan takes me to Thandos hotel. Im very
jetlagged and could do with some rest, but Thando first. I talk to reception, book a
room close to hers and I go up and knock on her door. My mouth goes dry and my
palms feel sweaty.
She opens looking, so sexy and beautiful

Her:😮 Melisizwe?
Me: Hi baby...

£42
~Thando~
Arg fuck! I slam the door in Melisizwes face. Nx! How dare he come here. I find
myself smiling, how sweet though, he's flown all the way here to see me. Thats
really cute. But no! Im mad at him. How dare he think what hes done is okay? Less
than a year ago this man was married to the love of his life! I watched as tears fell
down his face as he proclaimed his love for her. How he would purposely hurt me
all in the name of her, Yonela. Why did I even go back to him when its clear that
he doesnt love me? Because if he did, he wouldnt hurt me time and again with
the same shit! No, Im done. This is me tapping out. Im not going to do this to
myself anymore. I know I keep saying the same thing but this time, even my heart
has let go.

~Melisizwe~
I expected Thando to be mad but not like this. Shes literally shut the door in my
face and honestly, I do deserve it. I sigh and go to my room and sleep, Im beyond
tired.
The morning I wake up and shower. My head is hurting but its not as much as the
pain I feel in my heart. I get dressed and prepare to go out. As I close my door,
Sanele comes out of his room, wearing a gown.
Him: Hey.
Me: Hi.
Him: Surprise visit?
Me: Yeah, you too?
Him: No, something my wife calls a baecation.
I laugh and so does he.
Him: Yeah, young blood. If you looking for Thando, shes already left. You'll
probably see them tonight though because Que said something about Adele
being here and what not.
Me: Oh. Thanks man.
Him: Breakfast?
Me: Please
Him: Give me 20.
I nod. I go back to my room and get my essentials like my wallet and such, brush
my beard and hair, grab a coat and go out.
We sit at the restuarant with Sanele and have breakfast. Chatting about old times
and now and plans for the future. We eventually end up talking about work. The
day with him is splendid, him showing me around Berlin and driving around. We
end up going to the movies and come out laughing like idiots. We have a legit
bromance brewing like the old times. He makes me feel better and ready to face
Thando when she comes back which is soon.

Back at the hotel room, Im pacing up and down waiting for Thando to come back.
Finally I hear her door open and I wait 10 mins before I go knock. Im nervous
because I dont know what awaits me on the other side of the door. I breathe in
deeply and knock. The door opens and there Thando stands, in all her glory and
magnificence. It takes all my self restraint not to grab her and kiss her. She looks
mad but radiant.
Me: Hey
Her: Hello
Me: Can I come in?
She steps aside and I go in. As soon as she closes the door, I pull her in and hold
her. Just hold her, no words. After a while I pull away and smile at her. She gives
me a faint smile, probably tired and we go in and sit down. Before I open my
mouth, my phone rings. I ignore it, but it persists
Her: Answer it. It may be important.
I take it and answer.
Me: Hello
Mama: Meli uphi(where are you)? Azi is sick. We at the hospital please come
nana, shes vomiting and burning up. Please come mntanam(my child).
She hangs up.
Me: I have to go.
I stand and run out to leave.

~Thando~
After Melisizwes sudden departure I close the door and get into bed. Im drained
and this, whatever him and I have going on, is over. Clearly its not a relationship,
because he doesnt respect me or communicate with me so theres no point in us
trying anymore, well ME trying anyway.
The week flies by quickly and before I know it, I have to fly back home. Its a
bittersweet moment because as much as I want to go home, I want to stay and
learn more. But thats not possible and I have to go. Que and Sanz(what I call him
now) are staying for a lovecation. Cute.
The flight home is nice because Im flying business class thanks to Sanele. My
parents pick me up from the airport and I cry when I see them. Thandiswa is
almost ready to pop at 7 months but shes the ever so beautiful and David is the
best.
Them: Baby?
As soon as I see them, my tears fall.
David: Whats wrong?
Me: I missed you guys.
They laugh and give me a warm hug. Then David gets my bags and we go home.

Im laying in bed, staring at the roof, thinking about whats happening between
Melisizwe and I. My phone buzzes, its a text from Melisizwe.
"Miss you so much and I cant wait to see you. Have a lot of explaining to do. Love
you, sweetest dreams my angel"
Ha! Love you my ass. I text him back
"WE NEED TO TALK"
And send. Thats all Im saying.
My phone rings again and its him calling. Arg Im not in the mood for him and his
little pathetic excuses. I let it ring until it stops. Then put my phone on silent so I
can sleep.
The morning, there are a lot of messages from Melisizwe and missed calls. Hes
asking me where I am and to open my apartment door. Its time I texted him and
get this over with.
"Where are you?"
He calls immediately.
Him: Baby can we...
Me: Where are you?
Him: Protea
Me: Stay there Im coming.
I hang up, get up, make the bed and take a long, warm, soothing shower. Then get
dressed after. Its hot, December in South Africa! Yho! Unbearable. Im wearing
shorts, sheer top and sandals. I go downstairs, have breakfast with the family over
light conversation and I leave for Protea Hotel. Im a nervous wreck but it needs to
be done.
~Melisizwe~
The tone of Thandos messages tell me that theres trouble here. I hope we can
solve this and move past it. I have to be hopeful for a good outcome in all of this
madness.
Theres a knock on my door, I open and its her.
Me: Hi
Her: Hey. May I?
I step aside and she walks in. She sits on the couch and I offer her something to
drink. She politely declines and I go sit too.
Me: Baby..
She lifts her hand, signalling me to keep quiet.
Her: I dont think I want to continue with whatever is happening between us.
Me: Thando please baby dont do this.
Her: I have to. Im tired of being second best because I do deserve more than what
youre offering.
Me: Baby let me explain.
Her: No Melisizwe theres nothing to explain, you keep doing the same thing over
and over, then giving me a pathetic sorry everytime. Well this time, its not going
to cut it.
Me: Thando please my love, Im sorry. I love you, dont let this be the end of us.
By now, shes crying and I can feel my tears begin to fall.
Her: You dont love me Melisizwe, no. Infatuation or lust maybe but love? Not at
all. Because if you did, you wouldnt hurt me continuously with the same thing.
How do you think I felt seeing pictures of the happy family on facebook yet the
man that claims to love me doesnt even answer his phone? Just last year
Melisizwe, on mg Fucken birthday, I watched you proclaim your love for Yonela
and even cried while saying your vows to her. I dont know why I thought we
would work when clearly youre confused who you want between the two of us.
Im balling my eyes out, kneeling in front of her and begging her not to end us.
Me:Thando Please baby dont let what couldve been beautiful come to an end.
Shes wiping away her falling tears, but is failing to.
Her: I have to. For the both of us. You know how much I love you but its not
enough to keep me with you anymore.
Im beginning to break down slowly and surely as she utters these painful words at
me.
Me: Thando, one last chance, just one. Ill do better. Ill...
Her: No, no more chances. This is it. I think you need to go and find exactly what
you looking for. And when you do, dont come back for me, because I wont be
waiting.
With that said, she stands and walks off. I hear the door close and I know for sure
shes gone. Whoever said men don't cry has never been heartbroken by the one
they were sure was the one. The pain Im feeling is indescribable that I just lay on
the floor and let out a bitter sob. This is all my doing. Ive lost the woman I love
forever(uThando lwam lumnkile).

Here's a little something for now...

£43
~Melisizwe~
I dont know how long Ive laid on the floor crying but its time that I stood up and
got a hold of myself. Weeping wont solve anything, taking action does. My head is
paining but its nothing compared to my heart and soul. I cant explain how Im
feeling because words are failing me. I drag myself off to bed and play R Kelly- If I
could turn back the hands of time.
" How did I ever let you slip away
Never knowing, Id be singing this song someday
And now Im sinking,
Sinking to rise no more
Ever since you closed the door

If I could turn,
Turn back the hands of time
Then my darling
You would be mine"

I sing along as I let the tears fall. Mama always said its okay to cry and let all your
emotions out, so you dont ever cry for the same reason again. This is worse than
when I was going through depression. The tears are just falling on their own now
as I reminence on the good times me and her had. The mini dates we went on
when we got married and even now that we were dating. It was like we were
made to love each other. Our souls like water and rain, the same. But I guess its
nit enough, or I wouldnt be in this hotel room, crying over her. Id be with her
now, laughing, taking pictures, making sweet, devilish love and sleeping in each
others arms. This time, Ive really messed up and nothing on this green earth will
fix us or change her mind to take me back. She was adament on her decision and
Ill respect it. But Im not going to give up on us. I cant or Im as good as dead.

I wake up, feeling drained and pained. I need to get out of this place, NOW! Im
done crying, its too much.
I get up rather begrudgingly and go shower. I let the water cascade over my tired
body. The water is scorching hot, judging from the steam, but Im immune to the
pain. Im numb to any feeling on my flesh, just a sharp pain in my soul that keeps
growing by the second. I turn off the shower, dry myself and go to the room to
lotion and get dressed. I look at the time and its past 8 in the evening. How long
have I slept for? And will I have the energy to drive back home? In this state Im in,
I could cause an accident. But I need to, Port Elizabeth is starting to close up on
me and Im slowly starting to lose breath.
The drive home is long and blurry because Im crying as I drive. Its really irritating.
You have to understand, Im not much of a talker, I like bottling my feelings up. For
me thats my coping method. So this whole crying game is new to me and frankly, I
dont like it. It means I have to feel each and every emotion Im going through and I
hate it because it means that Im vulnerable. These foreign feelings have me
exposed and Im not sure Im okay with this.

I get to my mothers house and go in. I knock and my mom comes to open. The
moment she sees me, the smile on her face fades
Her: Baby whats wrong? What happened?
I dont want to cry anymore so I just shake my head and she hugs me tighter.
Eventually she lets go and we walk in.
Tata: Ndoda, whats wrong?
Langa, the twins and their wives are also here. Im in no mood for everyone and
their pity stares.
Me: Molweni(hello everyone)
Khanya: Hey. Baby bro?
He gives me a questioning look but I ignore it and turn to my room. I hear
footsteps behind me as I walk, the cologne is either dad or Langa. As soon as I
walk in my room, I head for my bed. The door closes and Langa speaks
Him: Mntaka tata(dads child), talk to me.
Me: Thando has officially left me. For good
I say trying to hold back my tears, but my eyes deceive me. Why is this so painful?
Langa keeps quiet and walks out. Sigh. I get under the sheets and ball myself up.
The door opens again and closes.
?: Kiddo?
Thats either Khanya or Kamva.
?: Get up bhudda!
Definately Kamva. I sit up and look at them. My dads here too.
Khanya: What happened?
Me: I happened. You know, everything I touch turns to shit.
My voice is hoarse and cracking as I speak. Im really falling apart from this.
Kamva: Dont say that.
Me: Its true nje. Look at me, Im a fucking mess that no one can clean up. And
besides, none of you will ever understand, youre happy so just leave me be.
Langa: Youre kicking us out.
Me:This is my room after all.
Tata: But its my house.
Me: Fuck then Ill leave.
I get up, wear my shoes, grab my shit and walk out. The guys dont utter a word. I
need to get some perspective.
Mama: You cant drive like this.
Me: Watch me.
I get out and drive to the nearest pub. The barman is John and hes friendly.
Me: Keep pouring until Im numb.

~Thando~
As soon as I left Melisizwes place I drove home to Thandiswas place. When I got
home, I just cried in her arms until I fell asleep. This is way worse than when we
got divorced. Why? Im in love with him, body and soul but its not enough.
The next morning, I wake up with a heavy head and heavier heart. Did I let go too
soon? Did I do the right thing? You can go ahead and crucify me on my decision
but until you walk in my shoes, you'll never fully understand. Not so long ago, I
watched him love another woman, choose her over me countless times, she gave
him a beautiful child while I gave him nothing. I have no choice but to let go. I will
always be second best to her, always. Ive lost 2 souls, alone without Melisizwe
and some might say I should move on but how can I when he reminded me not so
long ago that he has a child. That hurt me more than anything on this planet.
Im standing infront of the mirror looking at myself, Ive grown skinny and tired.
But I need to pull through until I move on from him.

*6 months later*
Its been a long 6 months and Im slowly moving on as each day passes by. Im still
single and No Im not pregnant. Thank goodness. I havent been to Cape Town to
go see Sim or spoken to her on the phone lately. I think its time I cut ties with that
family for good so I can finally move on. My alarm goes off, disturbing my
thoughts. Time to get up. I get up and shower. Im writing my last exam today. Im
so happy, Im going to lounge around the house doing fuck-all. Its been a while
since Ive done such. Anyway, I get dressed into jeans, uggs and hoodie. Im too
cold to care today really. Then go out.
The exam was hard and long but Im glad its over with and atleast I tried my best. I
pull up outside my apartment and take the stairs up. At my door, is a lady. As I
approach she turns to me, and smiles.
Me: Hello, May I help you?
Her: hello. Yes, Im looking for Thandokazi Nqumbu?
Me: Thats me. Whats this for?
She hands me a large, thick envelope and I sign and bid her farewell.
I open up and go inside. I drop my bag and go over to the couch and open the
envelope. Inside, amongst other things, is a letter. With my name on it, and its
reads
"To Thandokazi
If you've received this envelope, it means Ive finally succumb to the depression
and killed myself..."

Im better now...

£44
~Thando~
I blink back tears before I continue reading.
"It had to be done, Ive been battling with it for years, due to negligence from my
mother. Thando, Im sorry for the way I treated you over the years and your
mother too. Just that I was envious of your bond and how she loves you without
even trying. My mother, dads ex-wife, is a cold woman who never really cared or
loved us. She was busy living her life to notice our existance. When she finally
gathered the courage to divorce dad, she left us out in the cold and thank
Goodness Grandmother took us in.
Im writing this letter because I cant face you directly, not after the hurt and pain
Ive cause your mother and you over the years, but believe me when I say I love
you. Not because your dads child, but because of your free spirit and good heart. I
remember from the time youre little, when Id visit and always make fun of you
and hit you, youd still come to me and hug me. And for that, I thank you. Goodbye
Thando and take care of yourself.
Love,
Lihle Nqumbu"

I bury my face in my hands and let it all out. Hlehle! My dads first child, she was
10 years older than me.
After Im done crying I open up the envelope further and theres another note
"Thando, behind, I leave my daughter, Simthandile Nqumbu now known as
Simthandile Mvelase, find her and love her. Take care of my child please and
make her feel the motherly love that I never received..."
Sim? Shes my baby nephew? What? Why did she give Sim up? I continue reading
" Im sure youre asking yourself why I gave her up, well, how could I love her when
I dont even love myself? She deserves better and I know for a fact Dr Mvelase and
his wife can/will give her that.
I leave behind a lump sum of R 3 million for you to further your studies at the
school of your choice..."
So much money! I stop reading because this is too much for me to bare. I get up
and go get some ice water to stop the tears. Then start cooking noodles and
mince for myself for supper. I need strength to get through the rest of the
envelope. Hey!

After supper, I page through the envelope once more. Inside, there are pictures of
Sim probably from 2 years ago, shes at the park, some shes laughing at the mall,
in others shes being held by Dr Mvelase and mam'Naledi. Theres a particular
photo where Melisizwe is holding her and they're laughing together. How cute!
Theres her birth certificate, letters addressed to Dr and Mrs Mvelase and little
Sim, which I dont open, and a will. In the will it gives me visitation rights to Sim,
money for her and something about her father. It says that her father is
Thembelihle Jonas and I must look for him and unite them together. Fuck! And
thats the only way Ill access the R3 million and Sim too. Where will I start looking?
But luckily theres a photo of him so I can stalk him on Facebook.
I pack up and head home. I need to share this info so Thandiswa can advice me on
how to handle this info properly. As soon as I get inside,
Me: Daaaaaaaaaad! MOOOOOOOOOM!
David: In the room.
I close the door and go to their room. Im practically running with these envelopes
to them. I get there and barge in, they're cuddling, naked.
Me: Hey!
Them: Thando!
I look for something I can throw over and cover them. Once theyre covered I
show them the papers.

David: So what do you plan to do with the information?

We are at the dinning table eating lunch.
Me: Do as it says and follow the instructions. Not for the money, but for the sake
of Sim knowing the truth. Shes 7 now, old enough to understand. But all Im
worried about is the father. What if he rejects her? How will she handle it?
Thandiswa: Yho mntanam andiyazi( my baby I dont know).
Me: Ill drive to Cape Town and give it to the Mvelase's and see what they do
about the information. They have their own letters that might explain whats going
on so its up to them. Im just sad that she committed suicide. Goes to show how
depression is a never ending, never healing disease that can not be cured. It
cripples the soul and leaves the flesh begging to be set free.
David: Yes definately. I completely understand her reasons. There is a limit to how
much one can handle and for how long.
I agree with him completely. Im just sad I didnt get to know her better or atleast
attend her funeral. Maybe its time I reached out to my fathers kids. That way, I
wont get surprising letters like these anymore.
That night, I find myself crying. Depression really is a soul crusher and no one can
really understand until youve been there yourself. Its more than being sad, it goes
way deeper. I just wish she couldve tried to reach out to me before taking her life
into her own hands. Lihle was a beautiful woman with chocolate skin and dark
brown eyes. Her hair was huge, afro style like mine and was always composed.
She never had a hair out of place and her body was to kill for. But ke, as I have
learned, under all that, was a sad, distant woman who was struggling with a
dangerous mental illness. May her soul rest in peace.
~Melisizwe~
Its been 6 months since Ive seen or heard from Thando and everyday is a struggle
to get up. Ive tried to get her back but was shot down at every attempt I made.
But Im not giving up, just taking a break and restrategising on my next move. My
daughter is nothing short of amazing and is now 1 year 6 months. She makes me
laugh all the time even when Im mad at her. She is a talker, yho but walking?
Oho! She just demands my attention and shes my place of sanity. Shes the one
who keeps me going day to day without fail. Her smiles, giggles, faces she makes
and things she says make my day. Yonela? Eish what do I say? She tried seducing
me and well... im only human and I gave in. But instantly regretted it the next day,
because for sure now Ive lost Thando, but then I rejected her when she tried
again. And Ive set her in place that I dont love her anymore and my eyes are set
on Thando. She was a lady about it and understood and now shes dating her
gynae. Weird.

Im at home, Im here a lot because mom wants to see Azi and Suzi demands my
presence. Shes not really cool with the guys and its quite sad and the house is
divided. Mom is in the middle of it all. I just feel for her. And its getting worse to a
point where if the guys come over Suzi leaves. Shes even asked mom and dad to
move out. Yho! I dont know anymore.
The door bell rings and I go open and Im stunned to see Thando there. Her eyes
are puffy and shes holding an envelope.
Me: Hey.
Her: Hi. Your parents home?
Me: Yeah.
I stand there and gawk at her, motionless.
Her: May I come in?
Me: Oh sorry, yeah.
I move past and she comes in and sits on the couch. Sim comes in bouncing and
when she sees Thando shes goes crazy and screams. Thando just breaks down
and holds Sim for what looks like dearlife. I go upstairs and knock
Mama: Come in.
I go in and find them in bed reading
Me: Uhm... Thandos here to see you, both of you.
Tata gives mom a questioning look and they get up and we leave.

Downstairs, mom, Thando and dad are sitting outside talking and by the looks of
things, its quite hectic. Thando and mom are crying hysterically and dad has his
head bowed. I wonder whats the deal about and if Thando has driven all the way
from PE. In no time, Langa comes in.
Him: Hey kid
I chuckle. Really?
Me: Hey bhuti. Whats up?
Him: I want to see Suzi. She here?
Me: Yes. Suzi! Suzi!
Her: Coming!
I turn to Langa. Hes fuming.
Suzi comes down and as soon as she sees Langa she rolls her eyes and drags her
feet.
Langa: Hey Suzukiwe! Have you told mom and dad yet?
Her: Hello Bhuti, how are you? Im well thank you.
Him: Hey sundqhela mna(dont fuck with me)! Andiyontangakho(Im not your
friend)!
Her: Exactly! So stay out of my business.
Him: Suzukiwe!!! Watch what you say to me.
Her: Or what?
She folds her arms and gives Langa a dirty look. Langa is fuming and yelling.
Me: woah! Whats happening?
Langa: Ask her!
Suzi rolls her eyes and looks at me.
Her: Nothing.
Langa: Bullshit!
Her: Why do you care Langa?! Its not any of your business. Youve never cared so
why do you now? Just stay out of my life like you have your whole life! Come here
pretending to be angry and all like you give two shits!
Langa: Ive always cared! Always!
Her: Damn right! Just leave me alone! Okay? Its not like Im carrying your baby so
just fuck off!
Dad: What?!
O.oh!

£45
~Thando~
Oh fuck! This is not how the parents were supposed to find out. Shit. I feel bad for
Suzi. Yeah I knew she was preggies, cause I know the guy. And no its not Kevin. Its
Marks brother, Alex. Hes a bit older like 28 and anyway, Suzi is 23 which is no
problem either way.
Suzi: Tata..
Sizwe: Suzukiwe!!! What did you just say?
Suzi looks at me with pleading eyes and I look down.
Suzi: Are you happy now? Get out of my fucken life Lunga and this time, stay out!
She hisses and when I look up shes disappeared upstairs. I run past Dr Mvelase
and go after her. Im scared she'll do something crazy. When I get to her room and
open, shes furiously packing with tears running down her face.
Me: Babe what are you doing?
Her: Im leaving. Thando, Ive fucked up mega this time and not even mom can help
me. Ive disappointed her.
Me: Where are you going? Suzi can you just stop!
I go over to her and hold her hands.
Me: Talk to me.
Her: I was going to tell them, you know but now that they've found out this way, I
just... i have to leave.
?: You not going anywhere.
We both turn to find Dr and Mrs Mvelase at the door.
Me: Ill go.
I give Suzi a hug and walk out.
Naledi: Thank you.
Me: Always.

Downstairs, Lunga is pacing and Melisizwe is sitting on the kitchen counter sipping
on juice. Sim is sitting next to him, eating yoghurt. As soon as she seems me, she
puts her yoghurt down and comes to me.
Her: Hey Sisi, are you staying here now?
I shake my head
Me: No baby, I have to go back home.
She looks so sad
Her: Why?
Me: Im babysitting today. Im just here to see you.
Her: Really? Can we do something before you go?
Me: Yeah anything. Can you get me some water first?
She takes my hand and we go to the kitchen.
Me: Molo Bhut Langa(Hello Bhut Langa). Hey.
I smile at Melisizwe. He smiles too
Him: Hi.
Langa: How is she? Does she hate me?
Me: Argh she'll come around. Just do something nice for her to show how sorry
you are and how much you care and love her.
Him: Ive tried Thando, I dont know anymore.
Me: Try harder, just one last time. Communication is key. Give her your time,
dont buy her love, earn it.
He nods, thanks me and leaves.
Sim has gone upstairs to fetch her shoes and its just me and Mel in the kitchen. Its
quite awkward as no one talks.
Him: So, hows third year?
Me: Okay I guess. Hectic but Im pulling through. And work? Hows Azi?
Him: Shes growing, playful.. works fine.
I nod and say nothing. Thank fuck Sazi walks in, singing off tune I might add, and
saves the uncomfortable silence between us.
Her: Hey!
Me: Baby doll.
Her: Soon to be 21 how do you feel?
Me: Normal.
Her: having a party to celebrate?
Me: No. Im not even having a cake.
She pouts.
Meli: Why not?
Me: Waste of money and time.
He nods. Sazi pouts.
Her: But atleast go to the movies with me or do something fun with me that day?
Me: Ill see.
Sim comes down and literally takes me away, pulling me to the door. I laugh.
Me: Bye you guys!

~Melisizwe~
Talk about awkward vibes! Me and Thando. Whats happening here? We're never
awkward. Theres so much I wanted to say but my tongue froze. Everything she
said to Langa was like she was directing at me. And she was right. Seeing her
brough all the feelings I had back and I find myself smiling. I know in my heart that
Thando and I were made for each other. We're MeliThando and Id be damned if I
let her slip away. Shes my forever.
I look at the time and its past 9 pm. I need to go check on Suzi. Havent seen her
since supper. I go upstairs to the room on the far end and knock, no answer.
Me: (whispering) Suzi. Its me.
I open and go in. Its quite dark so I close and walk to her bed.
Me: Suzi?
Theres sniffing. I go inside the bed covers and pull her to me.
Me: Dont cry you'll upset the baby.
Suzi: Im such a disappointment.
Me: No youre not. Yes we expected you to be a bit older, but its happened and
we're here now. What did mom and dad say?
Her: Dad just asked about the father and mom just stood there with so much
disappointment in her eyes and walked out. She hates me.
She sobs harder and I brush her back, calming her down until she falls asleep in
my arms.

Sazi and Suzi come downstairs looking fine. I whistle and they giggle. Mama swats
me on my arm.
Me: Haibo!
Today is Friday, mama and Suzi made up and the guys too. They had a bonding
type thing with her. It was cute wethu, while I went out with Sim and Sazi. So
everything is good and Baby Azi is with mommy these holidays😑. But December,
I have her.
Anyway, back to Sazi and Suzi
Me: Where you ladies off to?
Them: Lunch.
Me: Ooo fancy!
They laugh.
Suzi: Mxm kanene wena! We're taking Thando out, its her birthday today.
I think my jaw drops. How could I not know? I take out my phone to check the
date, its the 15th of July. Her birthdate. I have to do something now that shes
here.
Me: Oh okay. Where will you guys go?
Sazi: Thats for us to know and you to find out. Lets go sis.
Hehake! Mxm. I stick my tongue out at her and so do they and then giggle.
Im in my room wearing jeans, knitted jersey, boots, trench coat and beanie. Im
wearing Thandos favourite colour: grey but with a mix of hazel. I call Sazi so I can
track her whereabouts. She picks up.
Me: Give the phone to Thando.
Her: arg! Fine.. sis Thando, phone.
Theres a little shuffling noise in the background, then her angelic voice comes
through.
Her: Hello,
I start singing, rather trying to sing
Me: Happy Birthday, dear Thando, wishing you more years to come, you know
that I love you, happy birthday to you.
She giggles
Her: thank you.
Me: What are your plans?
Her: Going to the hotel to freshen up then we going out. Well, being taken out.
Me: Can you call me when you go freshen up, want to give you a happy birthday
gift.
Her: Okay.
Me: Bye.
Her: Bye. Thanks again.
She hangs up. I didnt get her a gift, but I will. First let me get ready to go see her, I
hope everything goes smoothly. I go out and head for the mall.
At the mall, I go to a toy store and get her a huge fluffy teddy bear and then the
jewellery shop for a neck piece. Something that screams, I want you back and Ive
never stopped loving you.
I pull up outside Thandos hotel and sit in the car for a bit. Im nervous. I breathe
and go out. I ask for her at reception and they tell me to go up to her room.
Im outside her door. This is it, I knock. The door opens and she stands there in a
long grey dress with jean jacket. She looks good.
Me: Hey. Happy birthday.
She blushes and opens the door wider so I can go in. I carry the bug teddy in and
she screams.
Her: Is that for me?
I nod. She jumps up and down and gives me a huge bear hug.
Her: I love it. Oh my gosh its so big!
She squeezes the bear and kisses it.
Her: Thank you. Its very sweet of you.
Me: Its a pleasure. Here is the other.
I hand her the box and she gives me a questioning look when she sees the words
Graff on the box.
Her: Graff diamonds?
I nod, she hands me the box without opening
Me: No its yours. Open it when Im not here then if it makes you uncomfortable.
She nods.
Her: Wine?
Me: Driving.
Her: Juice.
I chuckle
Me: Yeah.
We go to the mini bar area and Im seated on the high chairs. When she hands me
the juice, our hands touch and i pull her in.
Me: I cant get you out of my mind and its driving me insane. Your the first thing I
think about when you wake up and the last before I sleep. Every spare moment I
have to think, youre all that occupies my mind. I find myself smiling when I think
about your smile and crying when I think of all the hurt Ive caused you. But
through it all, youve managed to see the good in me.
Teara form in her eyes.
Me: These past 6 months without you have been hell on earth and all I ask is that
you save me from it. Take me out of my misery Thando. You have my heart and
soul in the palm of your hands. Please love me. I cant sleep at night knowing that
you may be the one that got away. Thando all I ask is for another chance to prove
my love to you. Be patient with me and Ill prove my love to you. Let me show you
how good I can treat you and how much I want you.
A tear falls down my cheek.
Me: Thando, please. I cant bare this growing pain anymore. Ill be better I promise
and this time I mean it. Just let me work on my communication with you...
She lifts her hand and shakes her head, tears crumbling down her gorgeous face
Her: I cant. Im sorry.
She runs off to the room and shuts the door. I sit and let the tears fall.

Rise and shine. Its morning. Good morning angels, here is some brakfast..

£46
~Thando~
My head is between my legs as I sob bitterly. I hear the door close and I let it all
out. The way he confessed his love for me should've been enough to let me go
running back to him but why did I turn him down? My heart and soul are
screaming his name while my mind is stubborn and full of pride. I miss him. I love
him. I need him.
I sit in this position for a while until my phone rings. I get up and go get it fron the
bar counter, and hes left the diamond box there. Im too scared to open it so I take
it with me to my room while I page my contacts. It rings again
Me: Erin?
Her: You ready? And no you have to come no excuses
Me: Ill be ready now now, coming.
Her: Good Im coming to pick you up in 30 mins okay?
Me: Okay.
After the call, I head for the shower.
Erin stays true to her words and comes to pick me up and we go to the club. The
whole way, my mind is on Melisizwe and what he said to me this afternoon. A
flashback of him feeding me ice cream comes to mind.
Erin: And that smile?
I shake my head. I dont want to ruin a perfect night with sad thoughts. Funny
how, everytime we alone eating he'll first taste the food, then if it tastes great,
he'll force me to try it by feeding me. Or the time he tickled me until I literally
peed from laughing. He laughed so hard he almost wet himself and I was mad at
him for an entire hour. He begged me and teased me until I gave in.
Erin: Okay share with me, whose making you blush, even giggle.
I laugh
Me: No one, will tell you in due time.
She giggles and says okay. Finally she pulls up outside the club, then turns to me
Her: Please let loose. Okay? Enjoy yourself just this one time. Promise?
Me: Promise.
Her: Then lets go.
Oh the hangover I had in the morning! It was like my head was foreign from my
body. I felt like shit, looked like shit and even woke up like shit. But I enjoyed
myself the previous night. It was good to be young again and let myself just to
relax. Best birthday ever, by far. Well, besides the Melisizwe saga, which makes
me sad when I think about it. So I set thise thoughts aside, well for now while Im
nursing my throbbing head. I lazily get up, shower, get dressed and get packed to
leave. Im so glad Davids picking me up so my teddy can come too. My phone rings
and its him
Him: Im here baby cakes. Come lets go.
Me: Okay be right down.
I pack up everything that belongs to me, almost forgetting the box and leave.
David helps me carry my stuff and we leave in his private plane back home. Nice
life problems I tell you.
Him: Did you enjoy yourself?
Me: Yes thank you. And you and mommy?
He looks down and sighs
Him: We'll be okay.
I stand up and go give him a hug. He looks so sad.
Him: Amore has been asking for you non-stop
Me: Hes so grown. Ladies man.
He laughs and so do I.
Him: Thando, do you think Im a bad dad?
Me: No why?
Him: I accidently dropped Blessing yesterday and Ive been feeling like shit since.
Me: Mistakes happen and you did not intend on doing it so dont beat yourself up
about it.
He nods and looks away. Shame, the poor guy seems distraught.
We land back home and we drive to his house, and Amor jumps on me the minute
I go in.
Him: I missed you.
Me: Me too. Youre so grown. I leave for 2 days and come back to a grown man.
No, stop growing.
He giggles and I kiss him. I walk to the kitchen and go greet Thandiswa.
Me: Hey sexy mama.
She giggles and turns to me to greet me. Her eyes are puffy and red.
Me: Hey whats wrong? Boy/boy go to the play room and Ill come play with you
now. Let me talk to mommy first
Amor: Okay.
I set him down and he runs off.
Thandiswa: I think the honeymoon phase is over.
Me: Why?
She shrugs.
Me: Do you want it to end?
Her: No.
Me: Then dont let it. Its all in your hands mom. Go talk to daddy, Ill finish up.
Her: Im done anyway.
She switches off the stove and we walk to the stairs hand in hand.

Amor is a playful, busy 1 year old who runs around a lot. He hardly talks like his
father but when he starts he doesnt stop like Thandiswa. During supper,
Thandiswa and David cant stop stealing glances at each other and smiling. Its
weird and gross. Wonder what theyve been up to.
Me: Ill wash the dishes.
Thandi smiles at me and David says nothing.
In bed, I lie awake thinking about Melisizwe and I just cant help but smile.

*4 months later*
~Melisizwe~
Its been 4 months since Ive seen or spoken to Thando. Ever since she rejected me,
Ive been dying slowly on the inside. But life must move on, Ive been having
meaningless sex with some chicks but that was two months back. Its now almost
the end of November, which means schools are closing soon and I can have Azi.
Shes turning two this December and Im not throwing her a big party. Just taking
her out to eat with the fam and make sure she has a fun day.
Ive relocated to Cape Town and Im a condo in town. I put my old one up for sale
and looking into finding a suitable home.
Todays weather is gloomy and raining, and Im in no mood to go to work. I call in
sick and lounge around the house. My doorbell rings, must be the pizza guy with
my order. I grab my wallet and go to the door, as soon as I open, Im stunned.
Me: Thando?
Shes soaking wet and looks as if shes been crying.
Her: Melisizwe..
Me:Come in. Ill get you something to dry yourself.
She nods and walks in. I retrieve to my room and get a towel and small fleece
blanket and hand them to her. She smiles and wraps herself.
Me: Tea, coffe, hot chocolate?
Her: Hot chocolate please.
She has slight hiccups and her voice is breaking. This is breaking me inside. I make
a quick cup of hot chocolate. When Im done I go back and shes still standing near
the door, shivering and shaking. I hand her the cup
Her: Thank you.
Me: Come sit.
She shakes her head.
Her: Ive been such a fool whose let her emotions get the better of her. Ive been
so busy focusing on the negatives, forgetting all the good.
She says this with tears streaming down her face.
Her: Im sorry Melisizwe for breaking your heart and saying all those mean things
to you back then. Truth is, I was an insecure and jealous fool who couldnt see the
good that was in front of her. I love you Melisizwe so so much that its starting to
pain me because I miss you everyday. Your laugh, your voice, your beard, your
tongue, your hands, your warm hugs, cologne, the cute faces you make when you
sleep and the sexy, deep groan you make when something tastes good. If youve
moved on please tell me and spare me the further embarrassment, so I can
leave..
She looks up into my eyes and theyre filled with sadness and pity.
Me: I havent. Ive been waiting for you.
Her: Why? When Ive been such a bitch?
I shake my head and move closer to her
Me: No you havent. Just someone whos been hurt a great deal by the one she
loves..
I take her face in my habds and wipe her tears. Then bend and ket my lips find
hers. Her lips are so cold but theyre soft and full..
Her: I love you.
Me:And Ive never stopped loving you.
She smiles and so do I. Our moment is ruined by the door bell, its the pizsa guy. I
pay up and close the door. Taking Thandos hand, I lead her to the bedroom where
she strips down and takes a warm shower. I lay clothes on the bed and walk out.
I set up snacks and pizza for us and plump down on the couch. Few minutes later,
she comes out looking cute in my clothes and sits down beside me. I pull her close
to me.
Her: Im so happy I found you alone or I wouldve died of embarrassment.
I laugh and kiss her head.
Me: Im glad I took the day off. Who told you I live here? And why were you wet?
Her: Sazi and taxis dont come this side so I walked here.
Me: In this rain?
Her: Id walk through fire to be with you.
I blush.
Me: Me too
Her: I know.
She shifts and straddles me. She takes my face into her warm habds and kisses
me. Its so slow and filled with passion as we taste each other and let our lips
dance and speak for themselves. She pulls away and looks me in my eyes
Her: Im sorry baby that I took so long...
Me: Its okay. What matters is youre here now, in my arms, where you belong. I
love you so much.
Her: I love you more.
She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek then rests her head on my
shoulder. Its so good to have her in my arms again. A dream come true. I wipe
away a falling tear and wrap my arms around her petit frame.

Good morning... sorry for not posting last night. Fell asleep while typing.

£46
~Thando~
I wake up in bed alone with an urgent need to pee. My nunubud feels warm and a
bit squishy I might add... oh no! No no no! I open the sheets and there it is. Blood.
Fuck! My periods started which means the injection is up. Why now? Why here?
Melisizwe comes in and Im ashamed. I try pretending to be asleep but I know he
wont buy it.
Him: Hey sunshine.
Im so humiliated I could scream. Why would my body betray me like this? I pull
the blankets tighter to me and just stay in my position. He looks at me with a
frown.
Him: Whats wrong?
I cant hold it anymore I just cry. Im so ashamed of myself. He comes closer
attempting to get into bed.
Me: No! Dont come in!
I yell.
Him: Why? Whats happened?
Me: Please go. I cant look at you. Please.
Him: No! Just tell me.. did you pee the bed?
I shake my head no, infact I throw him with the pillow. He chuckles and barely
ducks. He sees my expression and is confused
Him: Lady things?
I nod my head. Oh why doesnt the ground just swallow me up in this moment?
Him: Oh. I see.
Me: Please...
Him: No. We're in this together. What do you need? Pads or tampons?
Me: Both.
Him: Size
Me: Small tampons, any pad with wings. But it must be Always.
He nods.
Him: Anything else?
Me: Underwear.
Him: Okay.
He comes around to my side and kisses me on the forehead. Then leaves.

Im finally out of bed and Ive washed the sheets, infact all the bedding and the
clothes I was wearing. I step out of the shower and Melisizwe comes in. With so
many pads, tampons and underwear.
Me: Thank you.
He smiles and hands me the stuff then leaves. I do my business then go out. Hes
seated on the bed and smiles when I walk out. He pats his legs suggesting I go sit
on his lap. Im uncomfortable but I do anyway.
Him: Baby..
Me: Hmm?
Im looking down. Im too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
Him: Look at me.
I do.
Him: Baby, I dont ever want you to be embarrassed of anything when youre with
me. Especially your body. These things happen and its my duty, as your man to
take care of you. You are mine and I am yours which means even our bodies
belong to each other. These things happen when we least expect them. Dont hide
from me please okay?
I blush so hard and nod.
Him: I mean it when I say I love you okay?
Me: I know.
Him: Good. And another thing, ndimdala(Im old) so these kind of things dont faze
me like the fuck boys youre used to.
I laugh so hard. Mxm I forgot how much of an idiot he can be at times.
Him: Theres my baby.
Me: Thank you.
Him: Any time. Are you okay?
Me: With you, Im always good.
He pulls me in and we share a short kiss.
Him: Come get dressed.
Me: In what? I kind of came here on a whim. No clothes, just my bank card, Id and
phone.
He chuckles and lifts me up.
Him: Wear something of mine. I like you in my clothes.
I blush and look away
Me: okay.
I browse his large closet and pick out trackpants, hoodie, vest and socks. Then
wear his slippers. When I come out he whistles
Him: Damn baby.
I laugh so hard. See why I love him so much.
Me: Youre an idiot.
Him: Your idiot.
Me: Very true. So you cooked supper?
He wriggles his eyebrows.
Me: Yho. I wonder.
Him: What? Ive cooked before.
Me: No not for me.
Him: The breakfast I made you at your home?
Me: That doesnt count.
He sticks his tongue out and pulls me out with him to the dinning room.

~Melisizwe~
Supper was fine but having Thando here, in my clothes, was the best. She makes
me a better me. Im not going to lie and say what happened this morning didnt
shock me because Ive never experienced something like that. But Im glad it
happened, so our bond could be stronger.
Me: So what do you want to do?
Her: Uhm.. anything really. Its raining and my clothes are almost dry but my shoes
not.
Me: well I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes.
She smiles and shakes her head but she closes her eyes. I take out the shopping
bags and plastics. I went and bought her goodies to make her feel better when its
that time of the month and also warm pjs, thick gown and slippers. I also bought
her jeans and chucks. Im taking her shopping tomorrow so I want her to be
comfortable. I go around and guide her to the kitchen counter and then tell her to
open. She opens her eyes and gasps.
Her: For me?
Me: of course.
Her: Aw babe. Thank you. This means... wow...
She kisses me and grabs the teddy and hugs it. Whats it with women and stuffed
animals? Ill never understand.
Me: Wana watch tv?
Her: No you never pay attention anyway. Id rather read a book cause I know you'll
want to work.
I smile. My woman.
Me: Okay.
Her: Uhm... Bhuti.
Mmm.. that word coming out of her mouth. It does things to me.
Her: Do you have a hot water bottle?
Me: I think so. Somewhere in the spare room. Ill go check for you.
I go to the room opposite mine and look for it in the drawers. I find it wrapped in
a pink furry thing with Suzi written on it. I go back to the kitchen and fill it up with
hot water. I grab ice cream, buscuits, chips and juice then go to the room. Shes
curled up with her teddy bear.
Me: Here babe.
She looks up and thanks me. She takes the bottle and places near her abdomen.
Me: Bad cramps?
Her: No. Not bad, and Im cold.
I snuggle in closer to her and kiss her. We both just listen to each others breathing
and heart beat.

The morning, I wake up alone in bed. I go to the bathroom and as soon as I open, I
see a naked Thando drying herself.
Her: Morning
Me: Hey angel face.. shower without me?
Her: Yeah didnt want to bother you.
Me: It wouldnt have been a bother.
I pee while shes here, flush and go over to the sink to wash my hands. When I
turn, Thandos bent over wiping her legs. Her nunubud in full display, I have never
seen such a pretty sight. I was semi hard but now, Im hard as a rock. I walk behind
her and rub myself on her.
Her: Baby, Im on my period nje.
Me: So?
Her: No
Me: Please baby.. just this once. I havent had a taste of you for a whole year..
Ive already dropped me pj pants and the tip of my throbbing boner is already
rubbing on her castle.
Her: What am I going to do with you? Aaah... that feels... yes baby...
Im rubbing myself on her and I cant take it anymore so I try slide in. Its so tight,
what has she been doing?

After our steamy session and showering again, together, we're in the kitchen
eating cereal. She comes and stands between my lefs and kisses my face.
Her: Thank you for yesterday.
Me: No problem...
We share a kiss.
Her: Are you going to work today?
Me: No.
Her: Why not?
Me: Youre here mos. And besides I want to take you shopping.
She looks at me, infact she frowns. Not the reaction I was expecting
Me: Why you frowning?
Her: You know how much I hate you spending your money on me
She folds her arms and burues her face in my chest.
Me: Let me, just this once. Please.
Her: Fine.
I smile and kiss her forehead. My hand is on her firm behind and Im just rubbing
it. I could stay like this for eternity. Theres just something about Thando that I find
myself unable to resist.

We're at the mall hand in hand, going in and out of shops. Thando is not much of
a shopper or she doesnt want to spend a lot of money. I bump into one of my old
exs
Her: Meli?
Me: Caryn, hi.
She gives me a warm hug.
Her: How are you?
Me: Well thank you and yourself?
Her: Im good. You look good.
Me: Thanks, so do you.
Thando is somewhere in the shop looking at I dont know what. Im near the till
going through my emails
Her: Still single?
I laugh
Me: No.
Her: Oh too bad. Shes a lucky woman.
Me: No Im the one whos blessed.
I can feel her before she stands next to me.
Thando: Hello.
She extends her hand to Caryn who takes it but with a questioning look on her
face.
Caryn: Hi.
Me: Caryn, this is the love of my life, Thando. Thando, Caryn.
Thando smiles and Caryn kind of smiles back.
Me: Didnt find anything you like?
Thando: No babe. Ready to go?
Me: yeah.
She holds my hand and with the other I hold the little bags we have.
Thando: It was nice to meet you.
Caryn: Likewise. See you around?
Me: I doubt.
And we walk off. You guys shouldve seen the way I was staring at Thandos behind
as she walked ahead. It drives me crazy, especially knowing that its mine and
mine alone.
Thando: She doesnt like me.
Me: She doesnt have to. Shes of no importance to me or to you.
Now come give daddy some sweet loving.
I pull her in for a kiss and she giggles
Her: No we're in public.
Me: So?
I snake my hand around her waist and pull her in closer. Looking in her eyes, I find
myself in them.

~Thando~
Being here with Melisizwe is the best feeling ever. Im being spoilt rotten and Im
not really comfortable with it. Hes showering me with his affection which I love
but the gifts? Not so much.
We're back in his condo and Im cooking supper for us. Hes very distracting. Kissing
me constantly, smacking my bum, rubbing my boobs, kissing my neck, grinding on
me. Its all a bit, romantic in my books. He makes me giggle and blush.
Me: Babe.
Hes standing near the fridge, looking all sorts of chocolatey goodness.
Him: Hmm?
Me: Im going back tomorrow
Him: Why?
Me: I need to go. My parents dont even know Im here. They must be worried sick.
Him: Just call them and tell them youre here.
Me: No I have to go.
He looks at me with puppy eyes.
Me: And besides, you'll be at work the whole day and Ill be here alone, doing
nothing.
He pulls me in close and rests his head on my shoulder.
Him: But I dont want you to leave.
Me: I know but Ill be back soon.
Him: Promise?
I nod.
He huffs, kisses me on the forehead and walks off. Hes being such a grouchy baby.
Really!
The whole time during supper he was being so clingy and moppy. Hes so cute. We
washed dishes together and he mopped after. Hey! Im just as shocked as you are.
His head is on my chest and his arm holding me in place. Im playing games on his
phone and hes sleeping so soundly. A message comes through and I open it by
mistake.
"Call me when you want a real woman. Not that little girl beside you. Caryn"
Bitch!

I know. I know. Im sorry...

£47
~Melisizwe~
Im woken up by a delicious smell. I turn and find Thando is not beside me. I go use
the bathroom then come back to my room and check my emails. As soon as I
unlock, a message pops up... from Caryn. Is she serious? No fuck off man. How
dare she call my Thando a little girl. Fucken make me sick.
In the kitchen, Thando is swaying her hips cooking and humming to an unheard
tune. She turns and smiles
Her: Hi.
Me: Hey.
The Caryns text comes to mind and I find myseld getting more angry. Where did
she even get my numbers from?
Her: Baby whats wrong? Come let me kiss it better.
I blush and walk over to her. She hugs me and kisses me. When she pulls away,
she smiles so sweetly.
Her: Bhuti, please talk to me. Whats wrong? Did I do something?
Me: No babe. Its nothing you did.
Thando is more of a woman than Caryn will ever be. Thando has a heart and is
good while shes a leech who sucks any man with money dry! Fucken hell.
Thando shakes her head and walks off.
Me: Baby?
Her:Melisizwe.
Woah! That changed fast.
Me: Whats wrong?
Her: Awufun thetha nam mos(you dont want to talk to me). Ive been asking you
whats wrong and you brushing me off.
Me: Fine. Its Caryn.
Her: Baby Im sorry. I didnt mean to open your messages it wont happen again
Me: What? So you saw the text?
She nods
Me: Are you mad?
Her: Should I?
Me: No.
Her: Then no. She can say all the nasty things she wants about me but until she
has you in her arms then I dont give a fuck.
Me: Good. And she'll never have me in her arms. Anganya!
She laughs out loud.
Me: Im sorry baby.
I go stand behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.
Her: My honey sugar sweetness?
I giggle
Me: Really?
She nods
Her: Please dont shut me out okay?
Me: Okay.
Her: And when you have a problem call me always. And sad, or angry, call me
okay?
Me: Okay.
Her: I love you..
I dont know about you, but I get giddy everytime she says it.
Me: I love you too.

Hey breakfast was scrumptious. I cant tell you what was on there cause it was
some shit Ive never heard of. But it was appetizing yho.
Thandos leaving today but promised to be back Friday. Its only two days from
now but still. I want her here beside me always. O tried to initiate some intimacy
and she flattened me like pizza dough. Yhu! She wouldnt hear of it. I even asked
for the behind ke atleast, you know anal. Yho! Ibingathi ndiyamthuka(it was like Id
sworn at her). The way she freaked out. Never again... or until next time.
We're at the airport terminal, I dont want her to go.
Me: Ill miss you baby
Her: Not more than me.
Me: Promise to come back?
Her: With every beat of my heart.
We share a moment and then she has to go. I wave her off then go back to work. I
need a distraction before I explode. Im so happy shes come back to me. And this
time Ill make sure its for good.

~Thando~
Im back at my apartment and I cant find my bank card. Ive looked everywhere,
luckily I have a few coins to buy airtime but for petrol nothing. Im really stressing
because Thandi did send me money, her and David but now bank card is missing.
On my way to the shop, I bump into Kevin. Arg!
Him: Hey, get in.
Me: No Im good.
Him: Come on Thando, I wont do anything.
Me: No really, Im taking a walk so Im good.
Him: I miss you.
Me: Okay.
All this while Im walking and hes cruising next to me.
Him: I still love you.
Me: Good for you.
I reach the turn for the shop and go in. I buy my airtime, load it and walk back to
my apartment in silence. Once Im in, I nervously call Melisizwe, it rings for a bit
then his voice comes through. I swear his voice will be the death of me, its hoarse
but deep. Yhu its sexy.
Him: Baby?
I moan. I cant help it. I just think of the times when we make sweet delicious love
and he calls out my name when he comes or tells me he loves me.
Him: Thando?
Me: Oh sorry, hey. Ive arrived safely. Uhm, quick favour please.
Him: Anything
Me: Are you at the house?
Him: No my love.
Me: Oh. When you are please look for my card.
Him: Oh. Okay. Need cash now?
Me: Uhm yeah.
Him: Ill e-wallet you in a bit.
Me: uhm... ill pay you back I promise.
He laughs and hangs up. As if he called tsh! My phone beeps and an amount of
R800 has been sent to me. So much? Melisizwe though. I drive to town and
withdraw the money then fill up my fuel. I get some goodies and drive home.
Thandi is not going to be happy

Mama: Uvelaphi(where are you from)

Thats the first thing Thandi says when I come through the door. Im in shit. I feel
like peeing myself.
Me: Cape Town.
David: And it didnt dawn in you to contact us?
Me:It did.
Him: Why didnt you?
Me: uhmmm... it slipped my mind.
Ma: Thando...
Me: Im sorry okay? I didnt plan in going there. It was a moment of weakness but it
wont happen again.
David: Hell no it wont. Because youre grouded. And that means, you may not
leave this house until I approve.
Me: What? No. Mama please. Dad.
Him: I have spoken and thats final.
I scream out of frustration. Gosh how irritating. Caryn was right, I am a little girl. I
storm upstairs and lock myself in my room. Melisizwe is not going to be happy
about this. I decide to call him. He picks up on the second ring.
Him: Twice in one day? Im a really lucky guy.
I laugh
Me: Thank you for the cash, Ill pay you back I promise.
Him: No dont.
Me: I want to.
Him: And I dont.
Me: But...
He cuts me off
Him: Can you stop being so stubborn? Im saying no and thats final.
I sigh. Reserved.
Me: Okay. Well I called to tell you some news. I have good and bad news.
Him: Good news first.
Me: Im finishing tomorrow which means by Friday Ill be good to go.
Him: That is good news indeed and Im already picturing the things I want to do to
you.
I giggle shyly.
Him: I can already taste you, smell you and feel you all over me. Mmm baby
damn..
Im biting my bottom lip and closing my thighs tightly. I can already imagine him
inside of me, moving... mmmm! Hes driving me crazy.
Him: and I know you can feel me too.
I giggle and blush. How does he know?
Me: I cant wait.
Him: Bad news?
Me: What?
Him: The bad news?
Me: Oh. Uhm.. im grounded.
Him: What? Whats that?
I roll my eyes. I forget that hes from a different time than me.
Me: Grounded. It means Im being punished from not telling them I was in Cape
Town these past two days so...
Him: okay. And that means?
I sigh
Me: I cant leave the house and my phone will probably be confiscated soon. So I
dont know how long it will go on for but...
My phone cuts. My airtimes finished. No! But my baby calls
Me: Sorry my airtimes finished
Him: No worries. So ubusithini(you were saying)?
Me: So dad will tell me when Im no longer grounded and Ill have to ask
permission to come over. Like Im...
My door bursts open and dad comes in.
Him: Phone. Now!
Me: 2 more minutes.
Him: No. Now Thando!
Me: I love you baby. Got to go.
I hang up and practically slam my phone in his hand.
Me: So unfair!
Him: Shouldve thought of that before you went missing missy.
And storms out. Arg! My parents are so annoying I cant. And worse I just got back
with Melisizwe. Mxm
At the dinner table, its just knives and forks doing the talking. Im not really hungry
and definately not in the mood to talk. Im fiddling around with my food on my
plate, thinking out my baby.
Dad: Eat!
I almost jump from my seat. Hes so angry. Ive never seen David like this. His face
is almost red and his eyes bloodshot red. But Im angry too. I just give him an ugly
stare and put my fork down. I attempt to stand
Dad: Did you ask to be excused.
Me: May I be excused?
Him: No finish your food
Me: Im not hungry.
Mom: Baby we're doing this for your own good.
Me: okay. Can I go to town tomorrow?
Dad: Why?
Me: Need to go make a new bank card. Lost mine.
Dad: You... no!
Me: What? Why?
Him: Not that I have to answer to you but you not going anywhere so I dont see
the need.
Yho! This man mara. Mxm.
Me: Fine..
After supper I do the dishes then go to my room. As soon as my head hits the
pillow, I knock out.
The following days the mood around the house is somber, well mine is. David and
Thandi are just fine, all lovey dovey and not giving a damn about me. I practically
ignore them, I did apologise so what else do they want from me?
Today is Saturday and Im in my room, laying when David comes in.
Him: Thando?
I just look at him with a bored expression on my face.
Me: Ta?
Him: I know youre mad but this is for you. You scared us baby and had I not heard
from Que I wouldve gone to the police. Dont ever disappear like that again okay?
We love you so much angel and I would die a million deaths if something were to
ever happen to you okay?
I nod.
Him: Here..
I look up and he hands me my phone and bank card.
Him: Go to him. Im sure he misses you.
I smile and give him a huge hug. Almost knocking him over.

~Melisizwe~
Today is Sunday and still no word from Thando. Ive tried calling her several times
and it went to voicemail all the time. I miss her so much, but luckily Baby Azi has
kept me company this weekend. Today her mom is taking her for the holidays in
Joburg which means Ill see her again 3 weeks from now. I do call constantly, but
its not the same as having her in my arms.
My door bell rings and its Yonela here to fetch Azi.
Me: Bye baby. Daddy loves you.
Her: Wuv you(love you)
Me: Enjoy.
I give her a kiss and hug Yonela. When I pull away, Yonela tries to kiss me but I
back up. What the fuck is up with that?
Me: No.
Her: Come on Melisizwe its...
Me: Yonela, stop. I love Thando and I just got her back and Ill be damne if I let you
try and pull us apart.
Her: Mxm. I know you'll come back. You always do.
?: Hey baby.
We both turn and find Thando standing there with a huge grin in her face. I rush
over to her and give her one hell of a smooch. Shes so sneaky. I wonder if she
heard Yonela?

£48
~Thando~
Hee! Andilingwa? Hayi ndiyalingwa sana asoze uve!(Am I not being tested?)
Because what the actuak fuck! What was Yonela thinking?
Meli: Baby sleep.
Me: I am.
He chuckles so deeply. Damn.
Him: Right! Whats wrong?
Me: What did Yonela mean when she said you always go back?
He huffs and keeps quiet.
Me: Baby..
Him: Can we talk about it tomorrow?
Me: No I want to know now.
He moves on top of me and kisses me. Its heavenly but no. I want answers. He
separates my legs with his and slides his finger inside me. Mmm
Me: Ah.. baby... no... talk..
Him: I will..
Me: Now... Meli...
Him: mmm?
Why is he doing this to me? He is hiding something from me.
He moves his mouth moves from mine to my neck to my breasts, to my coochie.
Him: Baby?..
Im in heaven
Me: Mm... Im close..
Him: I fucked Yonela..
I gasp as a rifalling orgasm rips through my fragile area. I want to close my legs
because Im fucken mad but I cant, because Melisizwe has already positioned
himself on top of me. He slides in oh so carefully and i find myself automatically
wrapping my legs around his waist.
Him: It didnt mean anything...
Hes moving so slowly, so deeply, so passionately
Him: Dont leave me...
Im moaning, scratching and movinh in sync with him.
Him: I love you... only you...
How is he able to speak during this sensative time? And why is my body betraying
me by responding to his touch? My legs are trembling, and my eyes soaking. Im
crying.
Him: Im sorry...
I arch my back as my pleasure soaks both me and Melisizwe. After Ive calmed
down, I push him off me and go to the bathroom. I need to cool off before I do
sonething Ill regret. After Im done, I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes puffy. I
go back to the room. Melisizwe is sitting with his head on his hands. Hes wearing
briefs.
Me: Whyd you do it?
He looks up.
Him: I dont know.
Me: You dont know?
Him: I dont know.
Me: Mmm...
I walk past him and wear his gown.
Me: Guestroom.
Him: What?
Me: Go sleep in the guestroom until you know why you slept with her. Go before I
lose my cool.

I wake up rejuvanised and ready to face Melisizwe. Im not mad, Im disappointed.

He could fuck anyone anywhere, just not Yonela or Caryn for that matter. Yeah
we werent together when he did, but still. I brush my teeth and take a quick
shower and wear nothing but his shirt and go to the kitchen. I get there and hes
wearing only his briefs making breakfast.
Me: Morning?
He turns to face me,
Him: Hi.
Me: sleep well
Him: No. You?
Me: Like a baby. What are you making?
He stops what hes doing. And walks towards me and stops in front of me, and
looks down at me
Him: Baby please dont leave. I wont bare it this time.
Me: Depends on your answer.
Him: Thando please...
Me: Be honest with me and let me decide. Why did you sleep with her?
He sighs. Frustrated.
Him: I dont know. Because I was horny, because she was willing, because I was
missing you and needed a body to take my frustrations out on, because I was
sexually frustrated, I dont know..
Me: mmm... but why her? Of all the woman on this fine green earth! Why her?
Im calm but inside, Im fuming. I could slap him.
Him: Baby please dont do this.
Me: Im not doing anything. Just asking a few questions that need answers.
Him: Ufuna ndithini Thando( what do you want me to say?
Me: Say whats in your heart.
He sighs and runs his hands over his face. He holds my waist and looks me in my
eyes, I fold my arms. Andisenashori!(Im so cheeky yhu). Ngase undibone(I wish
you could see me).
Him: You so cute you know that?
Mxm haike. I remove his hands from me and go to the kitchen isle and sit. He
huffs. Im driving him insane.

Breakfast is silent with me ocasionally playing with my hair or my thighs. I know

its working him cause hes hard as a rock. Im not going to leave him even if he
were to say he fucked the whole of Cape Town, because I have no right to be.
Him: Please stop
Me: Stop what?
He looks at me and his eyes are bloodshot and the veins on his forehead are
popping out.
Him: Seducing me.
Me: Im not.
He furiously stands up from the table throwing the glass against the wall and
huffing at me.
Him: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Hes shouting and pacing.
Me: (calmly) the truth.
Him: I TOLD YOU. I DONT KNOW!
Me: Then why you getting angry? Dont shout at me.
Him: Baby please... Ill answer all your questions if you promise me one thing.
Me: I dont think your at the liberty of calling the shots.
Him: Fine. Then I wont answer.
Me: So be it.
I attempt to stand but he blocks my way.
Him: Okay, okay, fine.
Me: Okay. What did you want me to promise?
Him: That you wont leave. No matter how hard it gets.
Me: Fine.
Him: Promise?
Me: I promise.
His about to talk when I pull his pants down and wrap my legs around him. I lift
my hip a little and he slides in.
Him: aaah... baby...
Me: Babe... aaah...
We both enjoying each other. Truth is, I dont care anymore. Why should I worry
about the things he did when he was single. He was doing them at his own will
but thats the past and this is now. What matters is what happens now that hes
got me. And another thing, I dont want to come through as some jealous hood rat
that doesnt know her place. What he did before we met is none of my shit
anyway.

After the breakfast sex, we take a shower and he goes to work while I stay and
clean up, then cook lunch for us. Im now on the net looking at potential jobs for
next year. My email pings and I open. Oh my goodness. I cant help but scream and
jump around. No way. No way. Meli comes in and I run over to him and jump on
him. He holds me and confusion is written all over his face
Him: What me?
Me: I got a job.
Him: Oh.
I climb off and he puts the plastics down. Not the reaction I was hoping for. Whats
eating him now?

~Melisizwe~
As youve seen, Im not excited with Thando getting a job. I was hoping that she'd
be my housewife, like my mom. But ke, I guess the modern woman wants to
work. And theres nothing wrong, but I can provide more than enough for her.
She'll go to work and meet a younger guy, who'll give her what I cant, because no
one has it all, not even me and she'll leave me. Then what will become of me?
Her: Babe?
Im in the bedroom changing, and Thando comes and wraps her arms around me.
Me: Hmm?
Her: Whats wrong?
I huff hard. I dont want to come across insecure and all.
Me: Babe, in all honesty, I dont want you to work.
Her: Why?
I was expecting her to rant and rave but no she holds her composure.
Me: Because I can get you your hearts desire.
Her: So you want me to sit here and diddle my thumbs while you slave away
meeting new clients on the daily?
Me: You wont dwiddle your thumbs. You'll have a hobby.
Her: By that you mean, spend your hard earned money?
Me: Well... not exactly.
Her: No. This is not about that. What is the real concern
Me: What if you find a younger guy whos sexier than me that woos you off your
feet?
She laughs so hard.
Her: So you dont trust me?
Me: What? No.
Shes turning the tables now.
Her: You dont want me to work because you think Im after all the dicks of this
world? How childish. Really.
She pushes off me and storms off. Damn you insecurities.

I refuse to eat lunch in silence, not like breakfast.

Me: Baby, I didnt mean it like that. Im jealous okay?
She looks at me frowning.
Her: Of what?
Me: Of you.
She giggles
Her: Why?
Me: Because youre so beautiful and all these boys will want you.
She giggles so hard, infact she laughs.
Her: Is that it?
I nod. Im being so serious and shes cracking up.
Me: Why you laughing?
Her: Baby, Im all yours. Body and soul so dont even think about being jealous.
Me: Promise?
She laughs and smooches me.
Her: Promise. And besides, you dont see any of my exs coming after you. Damn,
baby, you're a killer in bed.
I laugh so hard. You see what I mean?
Me: I dont know, am I?
She shrugs
Her: You okay wethu, your stroke could so with some work.
Ha!
Me: The same stroke thats given you multiple orgasms? That one?
She bites her bottom lip and nods. I laugh so hard. Before I can pounce, she shifts
and moves off the couch in a flash. Shes giggling so sweetly.
Me: Oh ugeza ubaleke?(you running now?)
Her: No.
I set my plate down and stand.
Me: So? How hard do you want your punishment to be?
Her: But I dont deserve to be punished. What for?
Shes smiling so beautifully its addictive.
Me: For telling lies.
Her: What lies? Is it lies?
Me: He?! What you trying to say?
She giggles
Her: Isnt it obvious?
I try to grab her but she runs and I chase after her. She screaming and laughing
the whole way and I cant help but laugh too. This love will have me crazy. Ive
never been so happy the way I am now and I love it, especially the fact that its
with my soulmate.

£49
*3 months later*
~Thando~
Its now March and work is the greatest. I work at FNB offices as an intern and I
havent met my boss yet. Hes overseas apparently and will be back next week. Im
not really looking forward to it because Ill be having a shoulder looking over me
constantly. My fuck. Work is so awesome these 3 months and Im working my butt
off. Ive learnt so much already.
Melisizwe? Wow! Ive never known love like this before. The way he cares for me
and takes care of me, is just unbelievable. No, we dont live together. I rent in
town and he stays in the suburbs. No, he does not pay my rent, I do. And trust me
we fought but then moved on quickly. No Im not pregnant yet, Im still on the
injection so dont get your hopes up. I miss him so much I havent seen him since
Friday and todays Wednesday. I cried so much last night when he called. Hes
away on business and wanted me to go with but I cant and that angers me so
much at times. Hes set to come back Friday depending on how things go but I
miss him so much. We dont have to have sex or even talk, just his presence alone
is enough for me. Its crazy, but thats how I feel.

Its almost home time and Im dreading to go home. Ill just get there and do what?
Eat? Sleep? Thats it. Its the same routine, over and over it sickens me. But I love
my job just hate going to an empty home. Maybe I should take Melisizwes offer
and move in with him, but then again, I dont want to co-habit with him. Call me
insane, but Im scared we'll get sick of each other and lose the interest. And
besides, even when we were married, we didnt even live together.
I wrap up at work and drive to my apartment, stopping to get some juice and
yoghurt on the way. I park my car in the underground garage and make my way
up with the elevator. As soon as it pings on my floor, I sigh heavily and walk to my
door. Without thinking, I unlock then step in. When I go in, the floor is scattered
with flower petals and my mind immediately rushes to the time Melisizwe
proposed to Yonela. I cant help but feel insanely angry. I so badly want to storm
out and go elsewhere. What the fuck? I walk in and find Melisizwe seated on the
couch with the sliding door open, letting a cool summer breeze in. He smiles and I
just glare at him. Why am I angry though? I dont get it. I shake my head and smile.
Me: Hi baby.
Him: And that look?
I shake my head,
Me: Just tired. This is a nice surprise.
Him: You dont seem happy that Im here.
Me: I am baby.
He gets up and comes to kiss me. His lips are so delicious and juicy that I find
myself opening to him like a lotus flower blooming.

We're having dinner and its awfully quiet and I dont like it. Why are we becoming
cold and distant all of a sudden? I get up and go sit on his lap and kiss him all over
his face. He giggles
Him: And then?
Me: I dont like this. For people who havent seen each other for days, we're
distant.
Him: Yeah, thats what I was thinking.
Me: Im sorry baby for acting all weird. Just that, when I saw the petals on the
floor, I thought about that night you proposed to Yonela and I got angry. Im sorry.
I dont know why that happens and it shouldnt.
Him: Will you ever let that go?
Me: What?
Him: This obsessing over my past with Yonela. It happened now every romantic
gesture I do will be scrutinized and questioned?
What is he on about? He pushes me off of him and stands to leave. He says
nothing except walk out the door. My whole body just tenses up. What was
supposed to be a romantic night has just turned to shit. And why? I apologised
and now hes acting up? Mxm. Fuck this honestly! I step into the shower and let
the water wash all my stresses away, well almost. These awful dirty thoughts
keep crawling into my mind and as much as I try to push them away, they come
back. Im laying in bed, just thinking about what transpired between Melisizwe
and I and I just cant help but cry. He walked out on me. And its all my fault.
Maybe him amd I arent meant to be. Maybe we're forcing something that fate
has already decided against. Because why is it that whenever we're happy, we
end up fighting or turning to shit? I eventually fall asleep with these thoughts
swimming in my brain.

Todays Friday and Melisizwe hasnt called or texted since Wednesday. I tried to
call but it just rang unanswered, several times. He must still be mad at me, so Ive
decided to give him time to cool off. My office phone rings
Me: FNB auditing, Thando speaking how may I help you?
?: ABSA auditing, Que speaking, at your service.
I giggle
Me: Que!
Her: Baby!
Me: What are you doing?
Her: Calling you.
Me: Youre such a nuisance.
Que and I are still close. Oh I forgot to mention, shes pregnant. Told me two
weeks back and I flew to PE to see her and congratulate her in person. We talk
almost everyday her and I. Shes my sister from another mister, thats how much I
love her. Next week Friday, we're graduating and Im super excited.
Her: I know. Whats wrong?
Me: I think Meli hates me.
I narrate the whole story and a tear escapes but I quickly swoop it up before
anyone notices.
Her: Babe, why do you do that?
Me: Que youre supposed to be on my side.
Her: No. Im neutral. Imagine if the tables were turned, how would you handle it?
Me: I dont know.
Her: You do. Now stop being petty and go enjoy your man. And when I call
Monday, I expect to hear a happy you. Clear?
Me: Yes
Her: Good. Now go fuck your man senseless cause thats what Ill be doing this
weekend. Bye.
She hangs up, leaving me dazed and smiling. This is why shes my bestest friend.
Her and Erin. They tell me some cutthroat truths but atleast I know its from a
good place. The day flies by and before I know it its home time. Yay! I drive home.
I open my gate and hear my tvs on and I know thats Melisizwe. Tears come to my
face and I wipe them at the door but they keep coming. Mxm stupid tears,
betraying me when I need to be strong. I go over to the lounge where I find him
seated watching sports. Gosh. My tears have stopped. Good.
Me: Hey.
He turns to me and frowns. Im guessing my eyes have already given me away.
Him: Hi.

I turn the water off and step out. When I get to the room, Meli is on the bed.
Him: Baby?
I look at him and say nothing. No response, no emotion.
Him: Im sorry I overreacted.
Me: No you were right. And Im sorry too. But it wasnt intentional and I only told
you because I felt bad.
Him: No baby, I like it when you open up to me. So you forgive me?
Me: Only if you forgive me.
He nods and I smile.
Him: Now can I get my long overdue kiss?
I blush and go kiss him, its so delicious and filled with love. He pulls me closer and
I end up straddling him and kissing him for dear life. I pull away and he is so hard.
Him: I love you more than me. I hate it when we dont talk, it hurts me.
Me: Me too. Youre my world and more.
He flips us over and lays on top of me.
Him: May I?
I nod and he kisses me, while his hand makes its way to my newly waxed crotch...

We're at the dinner table, sitting across from each other and just smiling.
Me: You know...
He looks at me and bites his bottom lip
Me: When you were gone, I was imagining all the things Id do to you, when you
come back...
Him: Is it?
I nod. And get up from the table and walk to him. I bend and whisper in his ear.
Him: Be in the bedroom in 10 and Ill show you.
With that said i turn and walk off, not before he spanks me and I yelp. As soon as I
get to the room, I rush to the closet and change into my little nurses costume and
get cuffs, I tone the lights down, light some candles and plug my phone on his
speakers. Tonight, Im going to live my wildest dreams. He comes in and whistles.
Him: Baby...
I put my finger to his lips and shake my head no. I push him on the bed and hand
cuff him to it. On both sides. Time to play. I press play and Beyonce- Rocket comes
on. Melisizwe is wide eyed as i start moving and grinding. Hes grinning and licking
his lips, while I slowly take off my clothes. I move to the bed, grabbing scissors
along the way and smile at him. The fear in his eyes is enough to make me laugh
but I dont. I remain in character. Slowly I cut his jeans off, making sure I move
from his waist. I can see a smile creeping on his beautiful, bearded face as I cut
them off. This is pay back for all the times he ripped my panties off. Im just
returning the favour since these are his favourite jeans. Once Im done I get on top
of him and start grinding as Dance For You begins. Im grinding on his hard cock
with my lace panties. Im rubbing myself, moaning and throwing my head back.
The bed starts shaking, Melisizwe wants to be free and touch me.
Him: Thando, baby, please.
I unhook my bra and let my breasts free, and start rubbing on my nipples, biting
my lips.
Him: Thando youre killing me. Please.
I smile, lick his lips and bite his bottom lip. He groans in my mouth. I take off my
panties and Im soaking wet. I turn and slide him in, reverse, then let my hips do
the talking for us. We both panting, screaming, moaning and groaning. Calling
each others names and declaring our love. After what seems like a life time, my
pleasure comes down on him like a rain and he follows after, hissing my name like
a poisonous venom that has invaded his body.
£50
~Melisizwe~
I wake up to a warm,fuzzy good feeling. Its like my nether regions are all tingly
and warm. When I look down, I see Thandos mouth tasting my goodness. Yummy!
Me: Im going to cum... stop...
Shes relentless. Toying with me like Im her favourite lollipop. Im moaning like a
bitch and shes gently massaging my balls and that alone is driving me crazy. Im so
close I can feel it and if she doesnt stop, Ill bust in her mouth.
Me: Tha...
I cum in her mouth and she doesnt stop. Swallowing and cleaning up my pleasure
with her mouth. She comes up with a devious smile on her face.
Her: Morning baby.
She kisses me, making me taste myself on her feather soft lips.
Me: Hi.
She smiles and cuddles me. What a way to start my day.
Her: Sleep well?
Me: yeah and you?
Her: No.
Me: Why?
I look at her concerned.
Her: Youre snoring like pig.
I gasp and she giggles like a small child. I get on top of her and tickle her until she
snorts. Ha! I end up laughing so hard and so does she. Who knew she snorts?

After a steamy shower, we have breakfast and chill on the couch.

Me: Baby?
Her: mmm?
Me: Do you ever want kids again?
The question comes out unexpectadly.
Her: uhm.... well... maybe. Why? Trying to knock me up?
Me: Not intentionally no. But Id like to have kids with you. It would be great.
Her: Okay, where is this going?
Me: Its just a question, you know after everything weve been through, I want us
to try again.
She sits up and looks me in the eye. Trying to get a read of me
Her: well you'll have to remarry me.
I laugh.
Me: re-marry?
Her: Yes. You want to knock me up out of wedlock?
Me: uhm...
Eish this is a trick question.
Me: No? Well not intentionally.
Her: Oh. Okay
We chat some more about random things until she dozes off and sleeps next to
me. I mustve really worn her off last night. We were all over the bedroom. I watch
her as she sleeps and I think about the possibilities of a mini me and her. I pray
our kids have her heart and eyes. Thats all I ask for, nothing more. She has really
gotten under my skin and I love it. She makes me happy, excited, angry and fall in
love with her daily. She knows which buttons to push and which not to, when. Ive
never known love like this in all my relationships and Ill be damned to fuck it up
again. She stirs and opens her eyes.
Me: Hey.
She stretchs, flexing her sexy body on me and blinks a couple of times
Her: Hi. Whats the time?
I check my watch
Me: just after 2. You hungry?
Her: I dont know yet. You?
I nod.
Her: What you want to eat?
Me: Lets go out.
Her: You sure? I dont mind cooking.
Me: I want us to.
Her: Okay then, let me go get dressed.
Me: Whats wrong with what youre wearing now?
Shes wearing jeans and a top. She looks amazing.
Her: No its not cute.

We sitting at the restuarant having lunch and talking about life and shes asking
me about high school. People are giving us dirty looks and stares. Is it because I
look older, especially with my beard, or what? Arg who gives a damn anyway?
Her: I think we should go. People are looking.
Me: So? Let them. People will always look and remark. And even if they do, its not
about what they say and call you, its about what you answer to. Remember that
okay?
She nod and I lean in for a kiss. Just when I think she'll leave me hanging, she
leans in and pecks me.
Me: I love you okay?
Her: I love you too.
On the way home, I contemplate on telling her that I wont make it to her
graduation. Im going to Chicago for a week and a half if all goes well business
wise. I just hope she wont be too disappointed.
Me: Babe?
Her: Mm?
Me: I wont be able to come to your graduation but I promise to make it up to you.
She just looks at me and says okay and nothing more. We get to her flat and she
gets out and walks up. I know shes mad.
We go in and she goes to the room and charges her phone and goes to the
kitchen. Im following behind her like a lost puppy and shes not saying anything.
Me: Say something.
Her: Like what?
Me: Anything, please.
Her: I dont have anything to say.
Me: I get youre mad and you should but I will make it up to you.
Her: Im not mad and you dont have to make it up to me.
Me: Then what are you? What do you mean you dont want me to make it up to
you?
Her: Im not anything. You have business to attend to then fine. Go. I dont want to
make it up to me because no amount of gifts or presents will ever make up for it.
She takes out some working tools and eggs and milk.
Me: Can you stop? Im talking to you.
Her:And Im listening. I dont have to look at you to talk.
Me: Thando man!
Im shouting. Shes making me angry. She stops what shes doing and puts her hand
on her hips.
Her: Bhuti?
Her eyes show no emotion and looks at me.
Me: Can you just hear me out?
Her: But I did nje. What more do you want?
Me: To listen.
Her: Okay then, talk. She sits on the high chairs and looks at me.
Fuck now Ive lost my flippen train of thought. Mxm
Me: So you not mad?
Her: No.
Me: But your actions dont suggest so.
Her: Njani(how)?
Me: Well for starters you just stormed out of the car.
Her: I didnt storm out, I walked out.
Shes so cool about everything that it pisses me off. Why am I even getting angry? I
stand and attack her with a kiss. I need to feel that we're okay and that shes really
not mad. She reciprocates and even moans a little in my mouth. She pulls away
and looks at me, with laughter in her eyes.
Her: And then?
Me: Cant I kiss my girlfriend?
Her: oooo! Girlfriend? So fancy!
I cant help but smile and she smiles back, well more like blushes.
Me: So youre not mad?
Her: No. Really baby, I understand and theres no need to make it up to me. You
going away on business so its fine.
I cant help but admire her. Shes a gem to behold.
Me: Thank you.
Her: So can I go back to what I was doing?
Me: what were you doing anyway?
She stands and I spank her bum
Her: aah! Babe!
She says that so sexy though. Damn! I bite my bottom lip.

~Thando~
By the time Im done, the kitchen is a mess and Im covered in chocolate sauce and
flour. Never again will I bake with Melisizwe.
Him: When do we add the weed?
I gasp
Me: What weed?
Him: To the brownies?
A laughter escapes my lips. What does he know about weed? Im laughing so hard
even tears are forming in my eyes. Hes dead still just looking at me.
Me: No babe. No weed, just chocolate brownies. Anyway what do you know
about weed?
Him: Hee haibo?
Me: You smoked weed before?
Him: Yeah. In highschool.
Me: Yhu? And that was in 19-when?
He laughs
Him: What you trying to say?
Me: Nothing.
I end up giggling trying to move from him. He takes off his shirt and moves closer
to me. Hes magnificent and I just want to run my tongue along his chocolate
brown skin and have a taste of it again.
Him: Stop ogling my body.
Me: Stop being so damn sexy.
He smiles, more like blushing.
Him: You think Im sexy?
Hes standing infront of me, smiling
Me: Yeah
He blushes.
Me: And this is the part you say thank you?
Him: Thank you... but when I compliment you, you never say thank you.
I smile, embarrassed.
Me: I do.
Him: You dont. Why?
Hes so cute when he smiles I just cant stop smiling too.
Me: I dont know.
Him: You dont know?
Me: I dont. But Ill learn to say it.
Him: good. Now give daddy a kiss.
Me: Euw! Daddy? Mega turn off.
He bursts out laughing.
Him: Okay, give your man a smooch.
I giggle and reach up on my toes and kiss him. I pull away when he grabs my bum
and lifts me up.
Me: a.a we have to clean.
He sighs, pecks me and puts me down.

Monday morning, Im smiling like an idiot at work, although Im sad my baby love is
not here. Hes overseas and I wish I couldve gone with him. I cried yesterday when
he left and he even shed a tear or two at the airport. The weekend was magical,
filled with love, laughter and obviously sex. I dont knos but the way Meli holds me
is enough to last me a lifetime. Thats what I love most about him. His heart that
now belongs to me.
Im slaving away, going to make copies when I bump someone.
Me: Sorry.
I say whilst walking away. Apparently the boss is coming in and Im running around
like a headless chicken. I dont know why because all the work Ive been assigned
to has been done an hour ago and Im now just helping Savanna, my secondary
boss, with hers. After Im done, I go back and she calls me to her office. I get there
and stand.
Her: Mr Jonas is in and would like to see you.
Me: Did I do something wrong? I...
Her: No he wants to meet you. Now stop panicking and go.
She smiles at me and I smile back, then go to his office.
I knock on his door and he tells me to enter. I open and go in. Hes seated and
looking at his computer. I stand by his table and wait for him to finish. Such a rude
ass, doesnt even notice my fucken existance. Maybe I should leave because
obviously Im disturbing. After a while, he turns to me
Him: Thandokazi Nqumbo?
Me: Yes sir?
Him:Thembelihle Jonas. But Im Mr Jonas to you, always.
Me: Yes sir. Pleased to meet you.
He has a light complexion, the most beautiful hazel eyes under thick spectacles
and dimples when he speaks. His eyes remind me of Sim. Woah, hold up wait, did
he just say hes Thembelihle Jonas? Could he be Simthandile's father?

Heres a little Im sorry...

£51
~Thando~
"Dismissed".
I turn and walk away. I can feel his eyes bore at the back of my head, probably
checking me out. Im sitting at my desk poundering this new found info roaming in
my head and decide to call Mam'Naledi. Just as it rings, he comes out of his office
and I drop the call. He walks towards me and stands next to me, not saying a
word. I turn to him
Me: Yes sir?
Him: Its lunch time
Uh... am I supposed to answer? Cause Im stunned I have no words.
Him: Let me treat you.
Me: RocoMamas?
He smiles, wow.
Him: Yes.
I smile back and we walk out. Several people are looking at us with shock and
some are even whispering to each other. Okay? Why? Its not even like we holding
hands.
We get to RocoMamas and order.
Him: So tell me about Thando? Can I call you Thando?
Me: Yes Sir. What do you want to know?
Him: Anything youre willing to share.
Me: Uhm.. okay.. im 21 almost 22 , Im a financial auditor in training, no kids, no
pets. And yeah thats about it. Oh, yes, Ive been meaning to ask, may I please have
Friday off?
Him: Why?
Me: Im graduating.
Him: Oh. Where?
Me: At NMU
Him: Oh okay. Uhm... can I come?
Im a bit taken aback by his question. Hes my boss so...
Me: Yes, if you want.
Him: Good. Any boyfriend?
Me: No.
Oh my fuck! Why did I say no? Shit. But ke, who can honestly be free infront of
their boss and say yes they have a boyfriend? Hayi shame, Im too shy.
Him: Oh.
Me: And you?
Him: No, no boyfriend. Never had one
I giggle
Me: So youre still a virgin?

He laughs. Wow. His smile, those dimples, those lips😍. Damn.

Woah! Did I just check out my boss' lips?
Him: No. Im more into woman than men. Theres just something about a woman
that I cant resist
Me: Oh, so a player?
He smiles
Him: Not really.
I smile and look down.
Me: Any kids?
The question blurts out of my mouth.
Him: Uhm... not that I know of.
I say nothing. I need to get his DNA somehow. His napkin wont be enough. I need
his saliva.

We're back from lunch and Im working in my cubicle. I finish an hour early and go
to Stephs office.
Her: Hey
Me: Hi, is there anything else I can do for you?
Her: uhm, no. Go ask Mr Jonas.
I almost pee myself. I dont know why but he scares me so much. But anyway, I go
knock at his door and he tells me to open. I open the door and go in. He looks up
at me
Me: Uhm.. Sir, do you... uh... have... uhm, any other work for me?
Him: Like help me with something?
Me: Uhm... I suppose...
Him: Not at this moment no. But uh.,
He searches around and gets up and goes to his cabinet then turns to me. He
hands me some papers
Him: Dont do that please
Me: Do what Sir?
Him: Bite your bottom lip.
I look away, trying no to smile. I take his papers and walk out. What did he mean
by that? I make the necessary copies and walk back to his office. On the way,
some chick blocks my way,
Her: If you know whats good for you, you'll stay away from Thembelihle.
Me: Or what?
She chuckles
Her: Hes a dangerous man. Watch your self girl.
With that said, she passes by, bumping my shoulder as she does. What the fuck is
going on here? I knock at his door and step in. Hes pacing and stops when he sees
me. I go in and give him his papers. He carries on pacing and I put the papers at
his desk. When I turn, his lips are on mine and his hand on my waist. His lips are
so warm and soft, that I cant help but kiss him back. He tastes of peppermint and
wine. Is he drinking on the job? After a while he pulls off
Him: Im sorry, that shouldnt have happened. It wont happen again.
I blink a couple of times and walk away. Woah!

~Melisizwe~
The week has flown by quickly and Im on my way to PE. Im going to surprise
Thando for her graduation. We wrapped things up quickly in the states and
everything went superbly. Im so anxious I cant wait to get there and see Thando
in her gown looking all sorts of beautiful. I get to NMU and security lets me
through. Heee! Just like that? I better get Thando out of here fast before any bad
shit happens. I get to the hall and sit at the back, with Qondikhaya. I watch as the
students stand to go collect their degrees. Finally Thando gets called and she
stands and go fetches her paper. Im smiling like a mad man at the back restraining
myself from making a complete fool of myself.
Im outside seeping through a crowd of graduates and their parents looking for
Thando. I spot David and Thandiswa and go to them. I find them standing with
Thando an some fucker whos smiling like an idiot at my woman. Hee! Hes holding
her waist and they're taking a photo. What the fuck is this? I clear my throat and
Thando almost jumps when she sees me. She walks out of the mans embrace and
towards me.
Me: Hey baby.
Her: Hi.
I give her a bear hug, lifting her up and spinning her around in the process. She
squeals in my ear as I spin her around.
Me: Surprise baby! Congratulations..

Thando introduces me to the fucker. Hes her boss but the way hes ogling her
body, makes my blood boil. After the graduation, we all go eat out and the boss
leaves. Que is so cute with her huge belly and Sanele is glowing with happiness. I
really am happy for them and their soon to be bundle of joy. At the table, Thando
seems distracted. Far away from everyone. She occassionally laughs and smiles
and thats it. She keeps stealing glances my way and shys away everytime I try to
kiss her. Whats happening here?
Im in my hotel room having a glasd of whiskey when theres a knock at the door, I
open and find my beautiful girlfriend standing there with tears in her eyes.
Me: Whats wrong?
Her: Can I come in?
I stand aside and she walks in. As soon as I close the door, she throws her arms
around me and weeps in my arms. Through her tears, she tries to speak
Her: Promise... promise... you wont.. ever leave?
Me: Whats happened?
She loses her shit and hits me hard on my chest.
Me: Fine, I promise.
Her: Say it like you mean it.
Me: I mean it, I wont ever leave.
Her: I love you.
Me: I know. I love you more.
She reaches up and pulls my face to hers and kisses me. In my head, a million
things are running through my mind.

~Thando~
The guilt is eating me up. Truth is, my boos and I did more than kissing. No sex,
well penetration that is. He took me to mufftown in his office on Thursday after
work. And thats when I stopped it all, I cant do this to Melisizwe after all we've
been through. Hes been so good to me and even though he has his faults, he
doesnt deserve this from me. He loves me so much and I see that now, he makes
time for me in his busy schedule and when hes not away, he comes to see me
everyday just to say goodnight. And this man could be Sims father. How can I
continue with this.
Meli: Baby?
Me: Hmm?
Him: Sleep my love.
Me: I cant.
I say while snuggling in closer to him, sliding my hand in his pants. I just hold my
penis. Yes MINE! He moans
Me: I need to tell you something..
I cant hold it anymore, I cant live with this guilt in my heart anymore. My tears fall
and I sit up.
Me: When you were gone, something happened?
He sits up
Him: What?
Me: I... I...
Fuck! I cant do this, I move and straddle him so I can be closer to him. He reaches
over and switches on the lamp I guess so he can see me better. This is so hard.
The concern and curiosity in his eyes hurts me even more.
Him: Talk to me baba.
Me: I kissed him.
Him: Who?
Me: My boss.
He goes quiet and looks down.
Him: Thats it?
Should I? Shouldnt I?
Me: And he muffed me.
As soon as I say that, he pushes me off him and I fall on the bed. He gets up, grabs
his keys, phone and wallet then leaves, banging the door behind him.
What have I done?

£52
~Thando~
I dont know when I fell asleep but I was woken up by Melisizwe getting into bed
smelling like alcohol and perfume. He gets in and pulls me into his arms, wrapping
his body around mine. Atleast hes showing me affection even in his drunken
state. I eventually fall asleep again.
I wake up alone in bed. Sigh. When I sit up, I almost get a fright, Melisizwe is
sitting on the chair opposite the bed, with a glass of whiskey.
Me: Isnt it a little early to drink?
He says nothing except gulps his drink.
Him: Somewhere in the world, its the perfect time to drink.
I nod. Im too afraid to speak.
Him: Whyd you do it?
Me: I dont know.
Him: You dont know?
Me: I dont. But Im sorry I did. It wasnt supposed to happen
Him: But it did. You let another man taste what is mine.
I hang my head in shame. Im filled with remorse to say anything.
Him: Did he make you cum?
What the fuck? How do I answer such?
Him: Thando, ndiyathetha(Im talking to you).
I dont reply. I cant reply.
Him: THANDO!
He smashes the glass on the floor and I start crying.
Him: Dont you fucken cry. Wipe those crocodile tears and answer my FUCKING
QUESTION!
Hes livid with anger. Ive never seen Melisizwe like this before but Im adament in
my silence. I wipe my tears and shake my head no.
Him: So you didnt cum?
I shake my head no.
Him: Open your mouth and answer me.
Me: No.
He stands and walks out.

Im at home, pacing up and down. I tried calling Meli but it goes straight to
voicemail. Did I lie about not cumming? No I didnt. I didnt cum. I stopped him
before it could get further than the moans. When he was pleasuring me, all I
could think about was my man and thats when I pushed him off me and walked
out. He apologised several times begging me not to send him to HR. I wont
because Im much to blame so is he. I managed to get some of his DNA and sent it
to the lab with Tat'Sizwe. So now Im just waiting to hear the results.
"THANDO!"
Me: Coming!
I go downstairs to the kitchen and find my parents seated there.
Mama: Baby? Whats wrong?
Me: Nothing.
She gives me a loook and David leaves, kissing my forehead as he passes.
Ma: Thando, what happened? Youve been so distant since you saw Melisizwe. Did
you guys fight?
Me: I...
Tears fall on my already tainted cheeks
Ma: Thando youre scaring me. Please baby.
Me: I cheated on him
She gasps and shakes her head.
Me: And I told him. Now he doesnt want to talk to me at all. I must disgust him so
much.
Her: No baby dont say that. Have you tried calling him?
I nod.
Me; But he doesnt pick up.
Mama(Thandiswa) holds me in her arms and rocks me till I calm down. Just then,
Blessing and Amor come in. Blessing is so cute and growing older. Shes almost 1
and has the most adorable eyes. They're a darker shade of green on her light
caramel skin. She lifts her arms up and I take her.
Her: Tado!
Me: Baby!
I kiss her all over her gorgeous face and she giggles
Amor: Me, Thando!
Amor is such a handsome little fella I tend to get lost in his beautiful blue eyes. He
looks so much like David its scary.
Me: Hi angel face.
He giggles and comes in for a hug.
Him: Wat wong Tado?(Whats wrong Thando)?
Me: Nothing baby.
Him: Why you cly?(why are you crying)
Me: Im happy. I passed.
He giggles and runs off. David comes in and catches him. Its such a sweet sight.
David comes in with Amor in his arms and a huge envelope.
Him: Open it.
I open and its adoption papers. Who are they adopting?
Me: Are you guys adopting a baby?
They laugh.
Mama: Yes.
Me: Oh.
David: Read on.
I read on and I freeze.
Me: Me? Youre adopting me?
They both nod and I scream...
Its Monday and Im back at work. I miss Meli like crazy and oddly enough, its not
awkward between me and my boss. We working hust fine and all thats happened
is water under the bridge. He apologised again and Im cool with him.
Man: Miss Thandokazi Nqumbo?
Me: Yes thats me.
He hands me some flowers and chocolates and tells me to sign. I wondet where
this is from. I search through the flowers and theres a note. It reads:
"I miss you like crazy but I need some time to cool off. I love you to the moon and
back and dont ever doubt that.
Melisizwe Mvelase"
I can feel my tears prickling my eyes but I hold them back because Im in an office
area.
?: Flowers already? Wow you mustve really fucked him good.
I turn and find that same girl, with her arms folded and giving me attitude.
Me: Bitch whats your problem? Spit it out? What? You want Mr Jonas? Go ahead
and leave me the fuck alone.
She clicks her tongue and walks off. Shaking her rather large behind at me, mxm
basic fool.
Jonas: Thando, office, NoW!
I get up and walk to his office. Fucken hell.
I step in and look at him.
Him: Whats going on?
Me: Tell your women to stay the fuck away from me. Im not into you, please tell
her to stay in her lane before I lose my cool.
With that said, I turn and go back to my cubicle. Im so fucken mad I could scream
but I keep my head down and finish my work. When I look up, its way past home
time around 7 pm. I have to put the work in his office, I stand and walk to his
office. When I open the door, I find Stephanie bent over and Jonas fucking her
from behind
Me: Oh... sorry.
I turn shut the door and leave the papers and documents in Stephanies office.
Then go home.

The next day, I dread going to work. But never the less, I go in and head for my
desk. Stephanie calls me to her office and I really dont want to go. But she doesnt
back down, she calls me through the office phone. I stand up, fix my skirt and
walk to her office, I knock and go in.
Me: Yes Ma'am?
Her: About yesterday, what you saw...
Me: What did I see?
She looks at me confused.
Her: You know in Mr Jonas' office
Me: I dont know what you talking about ma'am. I didnt see anything.
I wink at her and she smiles
Her: Have I ever told you how much I like you?
I blush.
Me: No.
She laughs
Her: Well I do.
Me: Me too. Is there anything else youd like for me to do?
She hands me a shit load of work and I smile
Me: Ill get on it.
The week flies by and before I know it, its Friday. Im so excited for the weekend.
Im going to clean my apartment and just chill with wine. I cant wait to get out of
here.
The day goes by and before I know it its home time. As soon as I step out of the
building, my phone rings. Its Tat'Sizwe.
Me: Ta?
Him: Please come sleep here.
Me: Okay tata.

I get to my apartment and pack an overnight bag. Theres a knock on my door,

when I open, its Melisizwe. A huge grin explodes across my face and I squeal. He
smiles too and attacks me with a huge bear hug and he spins me around.
Him: Hi baby.
Me: Hello.
He kisses me so softly. My cheeks become wet, its not my tears.
Him: Im sorry for letting my ego get the better of me. But promise me that you'll
never hurt me like that again. Never let any man near my castle. Thats mine
alone. As I am yours alone.
I nod with a huge grin on my face.
Him: So uyaphi?(where to)
Me: Kokwenu( your home).
Him: Can I drive you?
I nod. Im out of petrol anyway.
The drive hes holding my hand and kissing me.
Him: I cant live without you, my week was horrid.
Me: Mine too. I missed you so much I was going insane especially when you didnt
answer your phone
Him: Im sorry. I just wasnt in the right space and mind. I was scared of what I
might do when I saw you. But then I realised that, as eachday passed, I was
missing you so much and today was the last straw.
Me: Well, for what its worth, Ive learnt my lesson and will never do it again. Youre
my lifeline, without you I die.
He smiles so hard
Him: Really?
I nod. Just then he play Sam Smith- Life support. He sings along, kissing my hand
as he sings. Im practically beaming. My cheeks are hurting from smiling. We get to
his house and go in. Hes holding my waist, kissing me behind my ear and
whispering sweet nothings in them. Im giggling and so is he. We're like love struck
teens. Mama and Tata are sitting on the couch holding hands. Looking so
distraught.
Me: Baby, Im coming nhe?
Him: No Im coming too.
He takes my hand and we exchange greetings with the parents and sit down.
Tata: Well the dna tests have returned and we want you to open the envelope.
I nod and take the envelope in front of them. Im scared but I have to be strong for
all of us. I open the envelope and peak inside. I take the papers out and gasp...

Sorry its short...

£53
~Thando~
I look at the papers and it reveals that he is not her father but they are related.
What does this mean?
Tata: Ithini ntombam(what does it say my girl)?
They are looking at me and I hold Melisizwes hand. I interlink it with mine and
brush it with my thumb.
Me: Uhm... well... hes not her father but they are related though.
They look at me confused and I hand the papers over to Tat'Sizwe and he reads
them. His brow creases and he shakes his head.
Him: I guess theres only one thing left to do.
Mama: What?
Tata: Thando, you'll have to ask him.
My eyes widen and Melisizwes grip tightens around my hand. Ouch!
Me: Uhm... how?
Tata: I dont know yet... lets discuss this tomorrow.
I nod, my hand paining under Melisizwes grip. Mama stands kisses my cheek and
goes upstairs with Tata. Mid way through the stairs, tata calls Melisizwe. He pecks
my lips and finally lets go of my hand. I let my hand free and flex my fingers. What
was that for?

~Melisizwe~
Im in my parents room seated on the couch opposite their bed.
Me: Ta?
Tata: So you and Thando?
Me: What about us?
Mama: Dont break her heart anymore baby... shes the best thing thats happened
to us in a long time. Promise me that you'll stop fooling around and just commit
to her?
Me: Wheres this coming from?
Mama: Well I just see how youve changed and how happy you are. Youre even
glowing.
I smile, rather awkwardly I might add. Where is all of this going?
Tata: So all in all, you break the girls heart, I break your dick.
Haibo! Where is all of this coming from? What exactly did I do here?
Mama: Youve put the girl through a lot. If you going to play her, then I suggest
you leave her now, tonight so she can move on. You took her innocence, made
her a wife, broke her heart, watched her lose your babies and made her love you.
If you not back with her to stay, then leave her for good.
I swallowed and nodded.
Tata: You can go now. But remember our words. Umdala ngoku Melisizwe(Youre
old enough now). Uleqa i40(Almost 40). Play time is long over. Dismissed.
With that said I stand and walk out. What was that about? Is there something
they know I dont? What did I do to make them talk like this? I go downstairs and
find Thando sitting in the kitchen on the phone.
Her: Will you?
...
Her: Thanks babe. Youre the best. I love you. Kiss the little one for me and tell her
I cant wait to meet her.
....
Her: Haha. Bye.
She hangs up and sighs. I go behind her and wrap my arms around her small
frame.
Me: Whats wrong?
Her: Can I not talk about it now? I dont want to cry anymore.
Me: Okay. No problem. So you hungry?
Her: Starving. But its late nje.
Me: Come lets go out. We need to talk.
Her: Oh thats never a good sign. Atleast you'll dump me, while Im full.
I laugh out loud.
Me: Mxm lets go.
She stands and walks around. I grab her bum. She squeals and giggles.

We're at the restuarant having dinner over some airy conversation and laughing.
Just enjoying each others company.
Her: So what did you want to talk about?
Me: Baby, you know I love you and would do anything for you, even jump in front
of a moving train for you?
Her: Okay.. but?
Me: But nothing. I was just wondering... wanting to know your views... or how
youd feel... you dont have to answer right away...
Her: Just get to the point.
Someones rather agitated today.
Me: Would you please move in with me?
I hold my breath
Her: Can I think about it?
Me: Yeah sure... like I said, you dont have to.
She smiles and kisses the corner of my lip.
Me: I want to make sweet and tender love to you.
Her: What are you waiting for?
I smile
Her: After Ive had dessert, you want some.
Me: Im looking at my dessert.
I smirk and lick my lips. She sticks her tongue out at me and blushes.
Her: Babe.
Me: Hmm?
Her: Who taught you how to fuck?
I laugh out loud, making several people look at us with disapprovement on their
faces. But I dont care.
Me: Haibo? Why do you ask?
Her: Cause youre damn good at what you do.
Im in stitches. Thando!
Me: Thank you. And its from experience.
Her smile fades. Shit.
Me: I used to be wild in high school and varsity.
Her: You were a player?
Me: I prefer ladies man.
She laughs
Her: Ha! Im sure you do.
Her dessert comes and I have a bite from her. She likes feeding me and so do I.
Me: I cant believe Im 12 years older than you.
Her: Yhuuu! Oupa!
I laugh.
Me: Thats not what you say when Im laying it down.
She laughs
Her: Its because I dont want to squander your efforts.
Haha! Did she call my sex game wack? Hee what is she doing to me and why am I
letting her.
Me: You like insulting me nhe?
She giggles.
Her: Haike! Not even my old man.
Mxm how do I even take her seriously when shes like this?

~Thando~
My body is yearning for more while my coochie oozes with pleasure. Melisizwe is
between my legs, gently grazing on my coochie while his fingers make their way in
and out of me. Im moaning and gasping for air. But he doesnt stop just there. He
makes his way up to my face while separating my legs wider with his. He gently
inserts his rather large penis in me, I swear its grown bigger because I can feel my
nunubud painfully stretching.
Him: Whos pussy is this?
He says while he slowly slides out. Im in another world, my legs around his waist
and my waist moving in sync with his. He stops
Him: Answer me.
Me: Its... aaah... yours.
Him: Again.
He says while he slams in me, then slowly slides out, moving his hips in a circular
motion. His head buried in my neck, kissing and sucking me. Fuck...
Me: Its yours.
The bastard smiles
Him: Whos baby?
Me: Melisizwe Mvelase.
He chuckles and continues with hus heavenly torture. The way hes doing me is
too good to be true.
Him: Now show me thats its mine.
He flips us over and Im on top. Thank fuck. I start moving hard and fast, I can feel
him hit my belly. Using my hands, I spread my ass cheeks and ride him for dear
life. My climax comes raining down on him and the bed and he shoots inside me.
Wow! I fall down on his chest.
Him: Im not done. I want you limping tomorrow.
Yho! What fresh hell is this?

To make up for last night. Will post again tonight.

£54
~Melisizwe~
My body feels so good when I wake up in the morning beside a sleeping Thando.
Her alarm goes off and she groans.
Me: Wake up baby..
I say while kissing her neck and gently biting her ear.
Her: No...
She says that so sexy, it makes Fred stand. Mmm... maybe some morning
goodness to wake the both of us up and start our day off on a good note.
Her: No. No sex. Ha.a you overworked me this weekend.
I sulk
Me: Haibo baby? Not even a quickie?
Her: No. Move on top of me.
I roll over and she gets up to go shower. When she enters the bathroom, she locks
and switches on the water. Heee, is she mad at me? I get up and make the bed
then sit and wait for her to finish. She does and comes out. She walks past me but
I grab her arm.
Me: And then?
Her: Huh?
Me: The attitude?
She rolls her eyes and pulls her arm from me and goes to her wardrobe. What did
I do now?
In the shower, Im trying to figure out what I did. Is it cause I initiated sex? Mxm
how fucken stupid. Im getting pissed now. I step out of the shower and brush my
teeth with her toothbrush.
In the bedroom Im getting dressed and shes nowhere in sight. I go to the kitchen
and shes still not there. Did she just leave? Not even a goodbye? Arg what a way
to start my fucken day.

~Thando~
Im at work feeling nauseous as fuck. When I went to the bathroom I started my
period. Hence the mood swings. Fuck. Im so hungry cause I left the house without
food. Why? For some reason Melisizwes smell makes me sick. I dont know why
but the meer sight of him pisses me off and to be honest, that saddens me. I
really dont know whats happening. Maybe its my period.
Steph: Whats wrong? Why you crying?
I wipe my tears and shake my head.
Me: Nothing Im fine. Are those documents for me?
She looks at me with such pity and hands me the files. I take them and start
working. My tummy is growling but I cant go get food. Let me call my man.
Him: Mvelase Construction, Melisizwe Speaking?
Me: Hi baby.
Him: Hi.
Me: Haibo why you so cold towards me?
I start crying. Like really crying.
Me: Its okay nevermind. Bye.
I drop the call. What did I do to him? Yho maybe hes tired of me and doesnt want
me anymore?
Jonas: Thando? Are you okay?
Me: Im fine.
Him: No youre not. Youre crying.
I roll my eyes.
Me: Ill be fine.
Him: You sure? I can always send you home.
Me: No need. Ill be okay.
I work throughout my day and finish up. Ive been nauseous the entire day and
crying too. After what seems like forever, I eventually get home. I start cooking,
go shower then eat infrint of the tv. Melisizwe hasnt called me or texted me the
whole day. I decide to call him
Him: Hey
The tears start again. Im crying so much I cant even talk.
Him: Whats wrong? Im coming over
Me: No dont. Youre the reason Im crying.
Him: What did I do?
I cry even more. Clearly he doesnt care about me or why else would he ask me
such a stupid question.
Me: Youve been ignoring me the whole day and now you want to ask me that?
Mxm. Go to hell.
I drop the phone and cry some more.
Im mustve fallen asleep crying because my alarm goes off. Fuck its morning. I get
up, make the bed and get ready for work. My head is so heavy and Im feeling so
slack. My phone rings and its Que.
Me: Hi babe.
Her: Hey angel cakes. Open up?
Me: Huh?
Her: Open the fucking door.
I scream and run to go open. I do and she stands there looking abiut ready to pop.
Me: Hi angel. Hi baby.
I hug her and kiss her big belly.
Que: Yhu! Cant I give birth already?
Me: aw shame babe. It will get better. So what brings you here?
Her: I came to your rescue silly. Come lets go so we can sort out Thembelihle once
and for all. Then my baby can come fetch me and take me home.
I laugh and go to the room while she does whatever in the kitchen. I wear jeans,
heels and a blouse with a diamond necklace and earrings. I take my hand bag
with a navy blazer and walk out.
Her: Shu! Mama... looking so damn sexy.
Me: Im nowhere near you.
Shes wearing a navy dress that hugs her body graciously and flip flops. Her hair is
loose unlike mine which is in a bun.
Her: Whats wrong? Your eyes are so puffy.
Me: Melisizwe!
I say rolling my eyes.
Her: What did he do?
The door opens and he steps in looking too good in a navy suit with brown shoes
and tie.
Him: Hey baby.
I roll my eyes and I feel like throwing up. Yeer his stench. What the fuck?
Me: Hi. Lets go wena. Before Im late to work. Excuse me.
I say while passing him. I almost fucken throw up. Que bursts out laughing. I
wonder what the fuck shes laughing at

* 2 months later*
~Melisizwe~
Its been two months and things have not changed between Thando and I. Every
time she sees me its like she wants to vomit but still wants us to be intimate. Im
so confused as to whats happening. I tried talking to mama and she said she
suspects Thandos pregnant and should ask her. Damn! How do I go on about it
without upsetting her. Im already in the dog bin for something but I dont know
what.

~Thando~
So turns out, Sims father is in Austria thanks to Que. Let me take you back to the
day we investigated:
Que and I walked into Mr Jonas' office and I let Que do the talking.
Her: Mr Jonas, Qaqamba Jubase.
Him: Pleased to meet you.
Her: Likewise. Im a woman of business so Ill get right to it. So my friend here,
managed to obtain some of your DNA for some testing..
Him: Woah woah woah, whats this about?
Que sighs and rolls her eyes
Her: If you let me finish, youd know. And no, its got nothing to do with you two
almost having sex. So theres this little girl named Simthandile, whos father
happens to be Thembelihle Jonas. And its not you but what baffles us is that you
are somehow related to her.
Mr Jonas sits there dumbfounded looking at Que like shes on drugs.
Him: What?
Que huffs and rolls her eyes.
Her: Do you have a brother that was once with Lihle Nqumbo?
He gasps
Him: Youre Lihle's sister?
I nod.
Him: Im sorry for your loss
I nod while wiping tears away. Why am I crying? Arg how irritating.
Que: So?
He sighs
Him: My brother Themba is away on business in Austria and will only be back in
July. You can try him.
I nod and thank him for his time and leave. My heart is in pieces as I call Tat'Sizwe
telling him the news. After my call Mr Jonas gives me the day off and I leave to
spend time with Que, digesting the news.

Im at the doctors office today and its kak cold. June in the Cape is cold shame, its
even raining today. Im here at the dr because Im feeling unwell, ive been vomiting
since this morning and I passed out in the bathroom, so Steph brought me here.
Im waiting on my results now.
Him: So, looks as though youre pregnant. 12 weeks.
I go numb. Steph screams and hugs me tight. I cant help but cry! Not again. I let
out a bitter wail, a cry that cuts deep to my soul and exposes my pain. Theres a
sharp pain in my chest, my vision is blurring and my head throbbing. The darkness
comes creeping in and consumes me, body and mind.

£55
~Melisizwe~
Im speeding like a mad man to the hospital. I was just called by the hospital,
apparently shes listed me as her emergency contact. How sweet of her. I
eventually arrive and run inside to the reception area and ask for her. They direct
me to the maternity ward. Maternity? Why maternity? I run there and there she
is hooked on machines and there are 3 heartbeats. Woah! No way! Shes laying
there crying and the dr is begging her to calm down. I rush over to her and hold
her.
Dr: Thank Goodness you've arrived.
Me: Whats happened?
Dr: She just woke up now. She had a heart attack due to stress. Miss you must
calm down.
Thando nods on my chest. I rub her back gently and kiss her forehead.
Dr: But the goodnews is that the twins are stable.
I look at him dumbfounded. Twins? What? My face ignites into a massive smile
across my face. Im having twins. I can almost jump out of my skin. I thank the dr
and he congratulates me then leaves.
Her: Dont. Please.
Me: Dont what?
Her: Get excited and thank me. Please.
Me: Whats wrong? Baby arent you excited?
She looks at me with tear stained eyes.
Her: Really Melisizwe? Ive already lost 2 of our kids. How can I be excited?
Me: Baby please dont do this to yourself. Please. Im here for you whatever
happens. Please my love.
I say kissing her forehead. Tears fall down my cheeks as I think of all that we've
been deprived of. Im not a man of prayer but I pray that these two make it
through.
Me: Baby we'll be fine. We'll make it through. The kids will be fine.
Her: How? How sure are you of this?
Me: Im not but I have faith. In you, in us. Okay? Let me worry and you should
enjoy our pregnancy. Okay? Im begging you
She nods and kisses me so deeply. She pulls away and looks me in the eyes while
licking her lips.
Her: Im sorry.
Me: For?
Her: treating you like shit over the past few months.
Me: Its okay. But do I still smell to you?
She shakes her head no.
Her: No. Not anymore.
She giggles and so do I. Im so elated with these news I could scream.

~Thando~
Im still in the hospital with Melisizwe hovering over me. Hes been so suppotive
ever since he found out, like an hour ago. Hes called Thandiswa on my behalf and
told her the goodnews as he calls them
Me: Dont call anyone else. Please baby. Ive disappointed everyone already, lets
just surprise them with the babies okay?
He sighs
Him: Moms not going to be happy.
Me: Please. I wont be able to handle everyone hovering all over me and fussing.
Please my angel. My baby daddy. My virgin breaker.
He bursts out laughing and kisses me while laughing.
Him: Okay. Need anything?
Me: Uhm... food. I havent eaten today.
The dr walks in and tells me I can go home but I need to come back on Monday
since its Friday for more scans and what not. I nod and he leaves after Melisizwes
signed the discharge papers.
Me: You look so good baby.
He blushes and helps me get dressed. While hes busy helping, my clit is throbbing
for him. Im wet, dripping. I need him now. I need to feel him inside me. He looks
at me with those beautiful hazel eyes of his.
Him: What?
I bite my lip and close my legs.
Me: I need you inside of me. Well after I eat food.
He laughs.
Him: Lets go.
Me: Can you piggy back me?
He laughs and turns and bends. I smack his bum and he yelps
Him: Ha.a ke! Yazbo?(you see)
I laugh and he turns again and I climb on. We go out of the hospital with people
giving us several stares and some even giggling.

I cum and fall on the bed. Yho Im tired.

Me: I know I said I was hungry for you, but damn. Give my kitty some rest.
He laughs and slides out of me.
Him: Is that your way of saying you satisfied?
Me: For now, yes.
He laughs
Him: Ey you going to kill me. Im an oupa kaloku.
I laugh and roll over so he can lay beside me.
Me: I guess you'll need to stock up on the pill
We both laugh and he lays his hand on my belly.
Him: Im so excited baby. Thank you.
Me: No thank you.. anyway, what would you like? Girls or boys?
Him: Doesnt matter. Long as they're healthy and look like you.
I giggle
Me: Me? Why me?
Him: Cause then they'll be beautiful with good hearts and smart.
Me: Haibo! But youre beautiful too and smart?
Him: No. Not like you.
Me: Ncaw. Thank you. But if its boys, I hope they grow to have your voice. Its sexy
and authoratative.
He laughs with that deep laugh of his.
Him: Oh you and my voice. Is that all you like from me? My penis and my voice?
I giggle
Me: No.
He sits up and looks at me, deep in the eye.
Him: Why do you like me then?
Me: well, because... eish... baby you putting me on the spot.
I say hiding my face on his chest. He chuckles.
Me: Look away ke.
He giggles and he does.
Me: okay,
I close my eyes and lay on his chest.
Me: I love how you smile when something warms your heart, how your eyes
sparkle when you happy, how soft your beard is when you trail kisses all over my
body, how you caress my body and hold it as if its fragile, how much you show
your love and care towards me, how you fight for something you want even if the
world is against it, how good a father you are to little Ahlumile, how sexy you
groan when I nibble your ear in the morning, I love the way your body feels on
mine, I love your laugh its deep and it touches every part of my soul but mostly, I
love you for all you are and will ever be.

~Melisizwe~
The next morning Im so happy I dont know what to do with myself. Im laying
beside Thando whos softly snoring on my chest. I tighten my grip around her body
and inhale her intoxing smell. Fred is up and ready for action. If only my beautiful
love can wake up so I can love her harder than before. The way she proclaimed
her love to me last night makes me grin like a fool. And here I was doubting her
love for me. Im starting to feel bad for doubting her. I should really let go of the
Jonas incident because Ive done way worse to her.
Her: Baby...
Me: Mmm?
Her: I need to pee.
Oh. Her and I are entangled so I need to move my legs and arms, I do and she
walks to the bathroom, butt naked. Yho is it me or did her bum get bigger? She
flushes and comes out.
Her: Wana join me?
I smile and go to the bathroom with her.
We spend the day making lazy love and eating all sorts if junk. Well she does. I
cant it'll mess up my eating schedule. Im back at the gym and I need to keep fit
and healthy at all times.
Her: You know the first time I met you..
She giggles and I cant help but smile.
Me: What?
Her: I thought to myself, I bet he tastes like chocolate.
I laugh. Who thinks of such?
Me: And? Do I?
She giggles and nods. Haibo? I cant help but laugh with her. I love it when shes in
a good mood. Just then she stops, looks at me with wide eyes and runs to the
bathroom. I follow behind her and shes bent over the toilet. Aaaw! My poor baby.
Me: Oh nana wam
She gives me a death stare and goes over to the sink to brush her teeth. Im just
standing at the door looking at her, shes glowing. How beautiful.

My phone rings as Im about to drift off and its mama

Me: Hello?
Her: Come to the hospital. Suzis about to give birth.
Then she hangs up. Thandos phone rings too.
Her: Hello?
....
Her: Now? Where are you?
....
Her: Okay Im coming.
She hangs up.
Me: Suzi?
She shakes her head no.
Her: Qamba. I need to be there.
Me: Youre not driving to PE.
Her: No. Shes here in the Cape. Go to Suzi. She really needs you there. Ill come in
the morning.
We both get up and get changed. We rush downstairs and I give her a long kiss
before I leave.
Me: I love you too much. Drive carefully okay?
Her: You too baby. I will. I love you too.
She kisses me again and we get in our separate cars and drive off.
I get to the hospital and find my family there. Waiting.
Me: Hey.
They look at me and greet.
Langa: Wheres Thando?
Me: Shes at another hospital. Her friends also giving birth..
He nods and I take out my phone and call her.
Her: My love.
Me: Hey, you there yet?
Her: I am. Im turning in and...
I hear a screech and Thando screaming. Then the line goes dead.

£56
~Thando~
"MOTHERFUCKER" is all I can say in this situation. Yho. How reckless can people
be. Nx. So this man comes speeding, the light turns red and he screeches his car
to a halt, crashing into the car next to mine. Talk about reckless driving. Its not
bad but it will cause traffic. Fuck! I call an ambulance on my way to the hospital. I
get there and I give details of the accident. As soon as I entee the hospital I ask for
Qamba and Im taken to the maternity ward. I get there and shes eating ice.
Hehake!
Me: Hey...
Her: Hi. Whats wrong?
Me: Almost in an accident.
Her: You okay?... aaaaah... Saneleeeee!
He comes out of the bathroom and goes over to her.
Him: Hi
Me: Molo Bhuti. Im fine babe. Just a little spooked. Whats up with you?
Her: Contractions. They said Im only 4 cm. Yhoo tshomy this shit is painful.
Me: Im sorry boo boo.
I say kissing her all over her face and hugging her, making her giggle, much to
Saneles surprise whos frowning at me.
Him: Thando, your pants.
I look at myself. Oh God I peed myself. How humiliating. Tears just flow.
Sanele: No, I didnt mean it like that.
He looks so guilty
Que: Youre so insensitive Sanele. She was almost in an accident. Babe Im sorry,
call Meli.
I nod and walk out. And dial Meli
Him: Thando! Baby where are you? Are you okay? Why arent you answering your
phone? Im almost on my way, what hospital?
I giggle.
Me: Baby Im fine. Ill explain when you come over. But uhm, Meli
Him: Mntwam?
Oh how I blush when he says that.
Me: Please bring me pants and fresh underwear. Hows Suzi?
Him: By the time I got there, she'd already given birth. I saw the baby and told her
about earlier. My fam is so worried about you. But Ill call them when I get to you
first. Im so glad you called, Im starting to lose my mind.
Me: Im sorry my baby. Bring food with you as well, Im hungry. Please hurry.
Im getting so emotional. I tell him the hospital and hang up. Que screams again
and I go rushing in.
Her: Baby... ooow!... no more.... please.... San....
She looks pained and is squeazing Sanele for dear life.

Im in Melisizwes arms and his kissing me for dear life. When he pulls away we're
both breathless and I giggle
Me: Someone missed me.
Him: I love you so much, dont ever die on me.
I laugh, hes so serious.
Me: Ill try. Did you bring the pants?
He hands me the pants and underwear, brand new. They look like these are for
men
Me: Where did you get these?
Him: Always in my car.
Me: Why?
He smiles
Him: Ill tell you some other time.
I go into Ques bathroom, shes napping on the bed with Sanele, guess the
contractions have died down a bit. I get in, use her toiletries and change. I find
calcuim and pregnancy pills in her bag. I take the calcuim and walk out.
Him: Hows Que?
Me: Napping the baby isnt here yet.
Him: Oh!
He lays his hand on my belly and hands me food. It smells so yummy.
Me: Smells divine.
He smiles at me and pecks my lips repeatedly. He looks so sad. I guess hes more
frightened than I thought he'd be. I should let him be. He takes his phone out and
he calls his family telling them Im fine and Ill see them tomorrow. I kiss him as he
talks and he chuckles and smiles. Much better. I see nurses running into Ques
room. I guess its time.
Me: Wana come?
He shakes his head no and I go in.

After much pushing and crying, theres a soft cry. Its a girl. Im in love with her.
They take her and put her on her moms chest.
Que: Thando, will you?
I look at them and Sanele hands me the scissors. I blush and cut the ambilical
cord. Aw! My friend though. Im giggling like crazy and hug them both.
Me: You two are so sneaky. Congrats though.
Que: Thank you. Hopefully Ill be here for your time. Which is soon.
I giggle
Me: It will.
Her: You know?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Ive been suspecting ever since that day and I didnt want to bring it up incase
I was wrong.
I smile and nod. She giggles, we both do.
Me: Ha.a its your day. We celebrating your baby. Our baby.
Sanele comes back holding her, when did he go? He looks so cute with his baby. I
take Ques camera and capture them together.
Me: Name?
Sanele:Thandolwethu
I smile.
Me: Baby Thando. Beautiful like her aunt.
Sanele laughs and so does Que. He hands the baby over to Que, the nurse comes
in and shows her how to breastfeed. Baby T latches on quickly and I just watch in
awe as she suckles her mother. Que flinches.
Me: Sore?
She nods and I kiss her forehead. Theres a flash and when I look up, Melisizwe is
smiling next to Sanele. They fist bump and hug. Aw!
Him: Congrats new mommy.
Que giggles. Baby T falls asleep and I kiss her forehead. The nurse comes in and
Que asks her to take a pic of us altogether. Meli comes and stands behind me,
snaking his arm around my waist and we smile for the camera.

~Melisizwe~
Im beyond exhausted. What a turn of events its been. Its early Sunday morning
and Im drained. The stress of losing Thando has got me in a somber mood. We in
the kitchen having breakfast made by yours truelly.
Her: My baby?
She comes and stands between my legs.
Me: Hmm?
Her: Im okay. Stop worrying please?
Me: Ill try. But no promises.
Her: Thats all I ask. Come lets go. We have two babies to gift.
I nod and stand. She grabs my bum and I jump. She laughs so hard.
Me: Haibo! Whats up with you and my bum?
Her: Whats up with you and MY bum?
Me: No you dont have a bum. You got Ass babe. For days.
She laughs and walks away.
We in the bedroom, we're getting dressed and Im craving for her body.
Me: Thando?
Her: Hmm?
She says while facing the other way.
Me: Ndicel undiphe(Can I please have).
She turns to me, confusion written all over her face.
Her: Intoni(what)?
Me: Impundu(some ass).
She laughs so hard. I end up laughing too. But Im damn horny for her.
Her: Andifuni(I dont want to).
Me: Ndiyakcela torho(Im begging you).
She looks at me and bites her bottom lip.
Her: Zoyithatha(come get it).
No need to say more, because we all know whats going down.
We're at the hospital with Suzi. Thando has brought Suzi a goodie basket, with all
sorts of baby goods and mommy stuff. Its blue for a boy.
Suzi: Hey hey hey!
Thando: Baby face. Aaaaw hes so cute. He looks so much like you. Beautiful.
Suzi: Nhe? Ive been telling them..
The boyfriend walks in. I want to punch him so hard, how could he? Suzi smiles
when she sees him and I walk out. Thando follows after a little while.
Her: And then?
Me: Just dont like him
Her: Why?
Me: He got her pregnant. Out of wedlock. He didnt even pay for damages
She laughs
Her: Some hypocrite you are.
I look at her, shocked.
Her: Here I am, knocked up and you didnt even pay for my damages. Atleast hes
there through it all. So give the poor kid a break before he leaves Suzi because of
your shit. You and your brothers make me sick. How long are you going to make
Suzi suffer? Cant you be happy for her? Let her be happy for once? Watch her
blossom under Alex's love? Honestly. None of you are perfect but are so harsh on
poor Suzi. Fuck man. You dont know how much she cried throughout this
pregnancy, asking why you dont love her enough to be happy for her? Seriously!
With that said she storms off. Leaving me shocked. I turn and my brothers are
also standing there, just as shocked as I am. Okay.
Them: Whats that about?
Me: Alex and Suzi.
We're in Suzis room talking to her.
Langa: Suzi, mntase.
She looks at him
Him: Im sorry for everything. The pain and the stress we put you and Alex
through. We only give him a hard time because we dont want him breaking your
heart. We just want him to be the best for you and little Dave.
Her: But he is the best. He really cares for me and David and always there when
we need him. And if you guys dont open up to him, he'll soon run away from us.
So can you all just stop?
We nod. Im sitting her pondering what Thando said. Tata walks in nomama and
asks to see us. We go out and stand around.
Him: So ileta ifikile kaSuzi(A letter for suzi has arrived).
Langa: He? Alex wants to marry Suzi?
Dad nods. Hee! Wow.

Kamva drops me off at Thandos flat and I go up. I open the door and go in. As
soon as I enter, she jumps on me, taking me by surprise. But I quickly recover and
catch her.
Her: Im sorry babe. I didnt mean what I said.
Me: You were right.
Her: Still. I disrespected you and your family and Im sorry.
She kisses me so greedily. Pulling my body closer to hers and lifting the hem of my
shirt. I pull away.
Her: Please, I need you now. Feel
She takes my hand and puts it up her short skirt, shes nit wearing any underwear
and her nookie is wet, dripping.
Me: For me?
She nods and takes my pants off.
Her: Please dont be gentle. Make me scream for you.
I smirk and slip my fingers inside of her. She arches her back and moans...

£57
~Melisizwe~
Its early Monday morning and its raining cats and dogs. Im in the shower
preparing to go to work and Thandos sleeping. Shes been booked off until
Wednesday because she has to go to the dr and might be hospitalised. Im
petrified for her and my kids. Speaking of kids, I havent seen my daughter in a
week. Ill go see her this afternoon. I step out and go to the bedroom and get
dressed.
Her: Morning baby.
I turn and find her smiling at me
Me: Hi hun.
She goes to the bathroom quickly an comes out as Im tucking in my shirt. She
moves closer and kisses me. Her hand making its way down into my pants and
grabbing Fred.
I pull away and lightly push her.
Me: I cant baby, Im late.
Her: Please baby. Just a quick one.
I kiss her
Me: After my meeting I promise.
Tears well up in her eyes.
Her: Please Bhuti I need to feel you. Even if I dont cum. Just feel your warmth.
Tears fall down her beautiful face. Oh yhini bethuna umntwam! I unzip my pants
and she giggles with delight. She must really want it, for her to cry and get excited
for Fred. As soon as I pull my pants down, she goes on her knees and puts me in
her warm mouth. Fuck...

I have missed calls from John my assistant.

Me: John?
Him: Sir, the meeting has been postponed to 10 here at the office.
Me: Im on my way.
I get up and untangle myself from Thando. After Im dressed, I gently shake her.
Me: Baby...
Her: Hmm?
Me: What times is the appointment?
Her: 12
Me: Okay. Ill meet you there nhe?
Her: Okay.
Me: I love you
Her: mmm..
Shes sound asleep. I kiss her cheek and leave.
The meeting is a drag and before I know it, its almost 12
Me: Gentleman, Ill have to catch up with you later. I have somewhere to be. John
will reschedule you and we'll pick up where we left off.
I shake their hands and walk out. Im kind of rushing to the gnaes offices to meet
up with Thando. I get there and walk to the receptionist and ask for her.
Apparently shes already in. Fuck. I step in and shes seated with the dr.
Him: Mr Mvelase.
Thando just looks at me and mouths an Im sorry. Mxm
We move to the bed and scan fir my kids. As soon as I see them my anger melts
away and is replaced by joy. The dr is frowning and moving the scan thing around.
He gasps and shakes his head.
Him: Uhm... Miss Nqumbo, are you on medical aid?
She shakes her head no.
Me: Is there a problem?
He nods.
Him: Look, the twins are sharing the same womb and ambilical cord. Its very rare
and it is a huge health risk for both mother and fetii.
Thando gasps and tightens her grip around my hand. My heart sinks and I try my
level best to act strong.

~Thando~
Maybe Im not destined to have children. If its not me losing them, its
complications. Maybe I should give them up and move on with my life without
kids or Melisizwe by my side. We're back home and Im just curled up in bed,
trying my best not to cry because it will upset the babies more. Melisizwe is not
here, hes gone somewhere and Im all alone. I feel so lonely and cold. I take my
phone and play Buyela Kum by Amanda Black. The tears just flow from my eyes as
I think about my life and love with Melisizwe. The same thoughts as the ones I
had when I was married to him keep coming back to mind, will he be here when i
need him most? Because Im vulnerable right now and where is he? Did he really
love me or was he infatuated with me? I feel his arm snake around my body and
pull me to him
Him: We'll be fine. Im here the whole way.
Me: Where were you?
Him: Just went to take care of some things. But Im here now.
I just sigh and remove his hand from mine and get up. When I look around, there
are candles lit in the bedroom and some soft music playing.
Me: Whats this?
Him: Some relaxation for my wifey.
Im shocked. Awed. Baffelled. But mostly, happy.

Melisizwe is rubbing my feet and I must tell you its so heavenly. Ive been letting
soft moans escape my lips because of the pleasure hes giving me. This has got to
be the best foot massage in world history.
Him: Baby stop.
Me: But its so good.
Him: But you giving Fred some excitement.
I open my eyes and I find him hard as stone. Damn. My mouth just drools at the
sight of it. I get up and straddle him. Im already wet from the shower earlier and
the pleasure from the foot massage also contributed. Im naked and so is he, so it
wont be a hassle. I slowly slide him in.
Me: Oh... wow... baby...
I slowly slide up. What the fuck? Its like his penis has grown in width. Its a little
painful.
Him: And now?
His eyes are bloodshot red and the veins on his forehead are popping out. Yho
someone is hungry for me.
Me: Youve grown larger yho.
He chuckles and places his fingers on my nunubud. He moans when he feels me
Him: Its so swollen and juicy. Damn.
He lifts my waist and slides himself in me. Its so sore but Ill endure the pain for
him. I rise again and slowly come down on him. Okay, Im getting the hang of this. I
move faster and faster, panting and groaning as he moans on my neck. This sends
me over the edge and I loudly come on him and flex my hips as he follows after.
~Melisizwe~
*3 months later*
Sigh. Where do I begin? This pregnancy has got me by the balls. Thando is forever
horny but Ive got the stamina to keep up so Im not complaining. But Im scared for
her and my kids as shes constantly in and out of hospital. Its quite scary. Thando
even had to quit at work because of the twins. We dont know the gender. Thando
wants it to be a surprise. Shes always at my house. Yep we moved in together
and its so bliss. Today we're going to the courthouse. We getting legally married
again, then we'll have the ceremony later.
Thando: Yho! Its so hot. Do we have to go today?
Me: Please baby. It'll be quick.
She grunts and puts on a white dress. Its knee-length and flowy.
Her: Baby?
Me: Hmm?
Her: Will you please tie my shoes?
I smile and bend over and tie her shoes. I dont know why shes wearing high heels.
But nonetheless she looks radiant, magnificent. Shes quite small for a pregnant
woman. I wonder what mom will say when she sees her. And to answer your
question, no we still havent told my family. We've been ducking and diving.
Ahlumile? Sigh. Yonela took her with to London. I was so broken when they left
but I skype her everyday and so does Thando. She calls Thando, Lovely. Its so
cute.
Thando: Baby? Hello?
I smile and turn my attention to her
Me: Hmm?
Her: Lets go in. Where were you now?
Me: Thinking about what we are about to do.
Judge: By the power vested in my by the court of law, I pronounce you husband
and wife. You may kiss your bride.
I pull her in and give her a hell of a smooch. She giggles and pulls away. She so
sneaky, she bought me a nice black and silver band and I bought her a emerald
stone with a silver band. It has my initials enscribed in them just like mine has
hers. Its very beautiful.
At home, I knock on the door and open. Mom is singing in the kitchen and so is
dad. They are very harmonous together, I must admit.
Me: Hello hello?
They both turn and mom screams for joy when she sees Thando.
Her: Kanyisa! Awusemhle.
She gives her a huge hug and dad shakes my hand.
Mama: Yhu bethuna!
Thando giggles as mom rubs her belly.
Mama: How far along are you? Come have a seat let me pamper you.
Thando giggles
Her: Im six months along.
Mama: Yhuu you two are so sneaky. Why were you hiding from me? Did I do
something wrong?
Thando shakes her head and cries.
Her: I wanted to be atleast in my 3rd trimester before I told anyone. I didnt want
to disappoint you again.
Mama wipes her tears and Thandos. She shakes her head and squeezes hand, but
then notices the ring and keeps quiet.
Her: You guys got hitched?
I nod smiling.
Thando: But its just so the kids can be in Melisizwes name. But the wedding we'll
plan together.
Mama smiles and cries on Thandos shoulder. They walk off to the room chatting.
Me: where are the girls?
Tata: Suzi and Alex's.
Me: Oh. They living together now?
Tata nods and shrugs. Sigh.

We seated at the dinner table and everyone is here. Seems as though things are
tense between the ladies. I wonder.
Siphenathi: You look so beautiful.
Thando just looks at her and just nods. Yep, definately tension.
Olwethu: Whats wrong Thando?
Thando just shakes her head and laughs, sarcastically.
Thando: Wow! Yazi you are all unbelievable. When I almost died, none of you
came to check up on me but yet you promised me that I can always count on you.
When Melisizwe and I broke up, none of you bothered to ask how I was doing.
When I had two miscarriages, none of you even sent your condolences. But here
you are trying to play chomi-chomi? Psht. Dont fucken piss me off.
With that said, she grabs the keys on the counter and walks off. I stand to follow
her and get in and she speeds off.
Me: Drive carefully baby.
Her: Dont! Please, not now!
Yho! I just shake my head and place my hand on my babies. She sighs and places
her hand over mine.
Me: i love you.
Her: do you?
Haibo? Whats that supposed to mean?

Heres some late lunch...

£57
~Melisizwe~
Its early Monday morning and its raining cats and dogs. Im in the shower
preparing to go to work and Thandos sleeping. Shes been booked off until
Wednesday because she has to go to the dr and might be hospitalised. Im
petrified for her and my kids. Speaking of kids, I havent seen my daughter in a
week. Ill go see her this afternoon. I step out and go to the bedroom and get
dressed.
Her: Morning baby.
I turn and find her smiling at me
Me: Hi hun.
She goes to the bathroom quickly an comes out as Im tucking in my shirt. She
moves closer and kisses me. Her hand making its way down into my pants and
grabbing Fred.
I pull away and lightly push her.
Me: I cant baby, Im late.
Her: Please baby. Just a quick one.
I kiss her
Me: After my meeting I promise.
Tears well up in her eyes.
Her: Please Bhuti I need to feel you. Even if I dont cum. Just feel your warmth.
Tears fall down her beautiful face. Oh yhini bethuna umntwam! I unzip my pants
and she giggles with delight. She must really want it, for her to cry and get excited
for Fred. As soon as I pull my pants down, she goes on her knees and puts me in
her warm mouth. Fuck...

I have missed calls from John my assistant.

Me: John?
Him: Sir, the meeting has been postponed to 10 here at the office.
Me: Im on my way.
I get up and untangle myself from Thando. After Im dressed, I gently shake her.
Me: Baby...
Her: Hmm?
Me: What times is the appointment?
Her: 12
Me: Okay. Ill meet you there nhe?
Her: Okay.
Me: I love you
Her: mmm..
Shes sound asleep. I kiss her cheek and leave.
The meeting is a drag and before I know it, its almost 12
Me: Gentleman, Ill have to catch up with you later. I have somewhere to be. John
will reschedule you and we'll pick up where we left off.
I shake their hands and walk out. Im kind of rushing to the gnaes offices to meet
up with Thando. I get there and walk to the receptionist and ask for her.
Apparently shes already in. Fuck. I step in and shes seated with the dr.
Him: Mr Mvelase.
Thando just looks at me and mouths an Im sorry. Mxm
We move to the bed and scan fir my kids. As soon as I see them my anger melts
away and is replaced by joy. The dr is frowning and moving the scan thing around.
He gasps and shakes his head.
Him: Uhm... Miss Nqumbo, are you on medical aid?
She shakes her head no.
Me: Is there a problem?
He nods.
Him: Look, the twins are sharing the same womb and ambilical cord. Its very rare
and it is a huge health risk for both mother and fetii.
Thando gasps and tightens her grip around my hand. My heart sinks and I try my
level best to act strong.

~Thando~
Maybe Im not destined to have children. If its not me losing them, its
complications. Maybe I should give them up and move on with my life without
kids or Melisizwe by my side. We're back home and Im just curled up in bed,
trying my best not to cry because it will upset the babies more. Melisizwe is not
here, hes gone somewhere and Im all alone. I feel so lonely and cold. I take my
phone and play Buyela Kum by Amanda Black. The tears just flow from my eyes as
I think about my life and love with Melisizwe. The same thoughts as the ones I
had when I was married to him keep coming back to mind, will he be here when i
need him most? Because Im vulnerable right now and where is he? Did he really
love me or was he infatuated with me? I feel his arm snake around my body and
pull me to him
Him: We'll be fine. Im here the whole way.
Me: Where were you?
Him: Just went to take care of some things. But Im here now.
I just sigh and remove his hand from mine and get up. When I look around, there
are candles lit in the bedroom and some soft music playing.
Me: Whats this?
Him: Some relaxation for my wifey.
Im shocked. Awed. Baffelled. But mostly, happy.

Melisizwe is rubbing my feet and I must tell you its so heavenly. Ive been letting
soft moans escape my lips because of the pleasure hes giving me. This has got to
be the best foot massage in world history.
Him: Baby stop.
Me: But its so good.
Him: But you giving Fred some excitement.
I open my eyes and I find him hard as stone. Damn. My mouth just drools at the
sight of it. I get up and straddle him. Im already wet from the shower earlier and
the pleasure from the foot massage also contributed. Im naked and so is he, so it
wont be a hassle. I slowly slide him in.
Me: Oh... wow... baby...
I slowly slide up. What the fuck? Its like his penis has grown in width. Its a little
painful.
Him: And now?
His eyes are bloodshot red and the veins on his forehead are popping out. Yho
someone is hungry for me.
Me: Youve grown larger yho.
He chuckles and places his fingers on my nunubud. He moans when he feels me
Him: Its so swollen and juicy. Damn.
He lifts my waist and slides himself in me. Its so sore but Ill endure the pain for
him. I rise again and slowly come down on him. Okay, Im getting the hang of this. I
move faster and faster, panting and groaning as he moans on my neck. This sends
me over the edge and I loudly come on him and flex my hips as he follows after.

~Melisizwe~
*3 months later*
Sigh. Where do I begin? This pregnancy has got me by the balls. Thando is forever
horny but Ive got the stamina to keep up so Im not complaining. But Im scared for
her and my kids as shes constantly in and out of hospital. Its quite scary. Thando
even had to quit at work because of the twins. We dont know the gender. Thando
wants it to be a surprise. Shes always at my house. Yep we moved in together
and its so bliss. Today we're going to the courthouse. We getting legally married
again, then we'll have the ceremony later.
Thando: Yho! Its so hot. Do we have to go today?
Me: Please baby. It'll be quick.
She grunts and puts on a white dress. Its knee-length and flowy.
Her: Baby?
Me: Hmm?
Her: Will you please tie my shoes?
I smile and bend over and tie her shoes. I dont know why shes wearing high heels.
But nonetheless she looks radiant, magnificent. Shes quite small for a pregnant
woman. I wonder what mom will say when she sees her. And to answer your
question, no we still havent told my family. We've been ducking and diving.
Ahlumile? Sigh. Yonela took her with to London. I was so broken when they left
but I skype her everyday and so does Thando. She calls Thando, Lovely. Its so
cute.
Thando: Baby? Hello?
I smile and turn my attention to her
Me: Hmm?
Her: Lets go in. Where were you now?
Me: Thinking about what we are about to do.

Judge: By the power vested in my by the court of law, I pronounce you husband
and wife. You may kiss your bride.
I pull her in and give her a hell of a smooch. She giggles and pulls away. She so
sneaky, she bought me a nice black and silver band and I bought her a emerald
stone with a silver band. It has my initials enscribed in them just like mine has
hers. Its very beautiful.
At home, I knock on the door and open. Mom is singing in the kitchen and so is
dad. They are very harmonous together, I must admit.
Me: Hello hello?
They both turn and mom screams for joy when she sees Thando.
Her: Kanyisa! Awusemhle.
She gives her a huge hug and dad shakes my hand.
Mama: Yhu bethuna!
Thando giggles as mom rubs her belly.
Mama: How far along are you? Come have a seat let me pamper you.
Thando giggles
Her: Im six months along.
Mama: Yhuu you two are so sneaky. Why were you hiding from me? Did I do
something wrong?
Thando shakes her head and cries.
Her: I wanted to be atleast in my 3rd trimester before I told anyone. I didnt want
to disappoint you again.
Mama wipes her tears and Thandos. She shakes her head and squeezes hand, but
then notices the ring and keeps quiet.
Her: You guys got hitched?
I nod smiling.
Thando: But its just so the kids can be in Melisizwes name. But the wedding we'll
plan together.
Mama smiles and cries on Thandos shoulder. They walk off to the room chatting.
Me: where are the girls?
Tata: Suzi and Alex's.
Me: Oh. They living together now?
Tata nods and shrugs. Sigh.

We seated at the dinner table and everyone is here. Seems as though things are
tense between the ladies. I wonder.
Siphenathi: You look so beautiful.
Thando just looks at her and just nods. Yep, definately tension.
Olwethu: Whats wrong Thando?
Thando just shakes her head and laughs, sarcastically.
Thando: Wow! Yazi you are all unbelievable. When I almost died, none of you
came to check up on me but yet you promised me that I can always count on you.
When Melisizwe and I broke up, none of you bothered to ask how I was doing.
When I had two miscarriages, none of you even sent your condolences. But here
you are trying to play chomi-chomi? Psht. Dont fucken piss me off.
With that said, she grabs the keys on the counter and walks off. I stand to follow
her and get in and she speeds off.
Me: Drive carefully baby.
Her: Dont! Please, not now!
Yho! I shake my head and place my hand on my babies. She sighs and places her
hand over mine.
Me: I love you.
Her: Do you?
Haibo? What does that mean?

Fucking Vodacom😭😭...

£58
~Melisizwe~
"STOP THE CAR" Im fuming with anger. How dare she question my love for her?
How much more can I endure of this? Will I ever be enough for Thando? Will she
forever doubt my love for her and hold onto the past? She pulls over and I get
out. Im so mad I could hit something. I go around to the drivers seat.
Me: Get in the back!
I help her out and she climbs in the back. As soon as she shuts her door I drive off
to the house. Im furious. Enraged. A fucken animal.
Her: Meli
Me: Speak.
Her: Yho hayi nevermind.
Me: No fucken say what you need to say.
She keeps quiet and Im guessing by the change of her breathing shes crying. But I
dont care. Im bitter as hell. I park outside her apartment and she goes in. As soon
as her door shuts I drive off. To the gym to blow off some steam before I fucken
kill someone. I get there, check in and go to the mens locker rooms and change
into my gear. I always keep spare gym clothes in the boot. I go to the punching
bag and let all my anger and frustrations out on the poor bag.
?: Hey stallion.
A sweet faced brown eyed sugar looks at me smiling. Any other day I wouldve
smiled back and entertained her while gently rejecting her. But today? Im in no
mood.
Me: Hi
Her: Jessica..
She extends her hand but Im just not in the right space to make an aquintance.
Me: okay. What can I do for you?
Her expression changes from flirticious to utter shock.
Her: You dont have to be so rude.
I chuckle sarcastically.
Me: Do us both a favour and walk away before I say something that will destroy
your little ego.
I turn and walk to the mens locker rooms where I get my bag and leave. Ill shower
at Thandos place.

~Thando~
Im pacing back and forth wiping my tears and praying to God that Meli comes
back to me. We just got married for fucks sakes. What more can he do?
The door opens and I rush over to him and hug him. He doesnt reciprocate the
hug.
Him: I need to shower.
I shake my head no.
Him: Thando!
Me: Can I talk first?
He sighs and I pull him over to the couch.
Me: Im sorry. I didnt mean what I said. You were in the firing line when I was
throwing shots. Just that I was so angry and I took it out on you. And Im so sorry
baby. I love you, you know that?
He sits there and looks at me.
Him: Do you believe I love you?
I nod
Me: I do.
Him: Do you ever question my love for you?
Me: Not anymore.
Im being honest.
Him: What does that mean?
I sigh and place his hand on my belly. They start moving and we both giggle. I
guess they can sense that things arent so good between us.
Me: promise you wont leave or get mad?
He shows me the finger with his wedding band
Him: I promise not to leave but I cant promise not to be mad.
Me: Okay. But let me go pee first.
He laughs.

Hes in the shower and Im sitting on the bed, wearing his gown and slippers. I must
say I look cute in his clothes. The water goes off and my knight in shining armour
steps out. Yeer. He comes out naked. Yho hes torso! His arms! His legs! His penis!
I cant stop looking at his penis...
Him: My eyes are up here
Me: But your penis is down here.
He laughs and I involuntarily lick my lips and close my legs tighter.
He takes out his lotioning cream and as hes about to squeeze
Me: Can I do it?
He looks at me and chuckles. He hands it to me and I make him lie on the bed and
sit on him. I lotion his upper body first.
Him: talk.
Me: Okay... well in the beginning I used to doubt you. But then that all changed
once I saw your love for me... hayi Melisizwe.
Fred, as he calls his penis, pokes my bum.
Him: Hayi its not me. Stop flexing your hips so sexy nawe.
I laugh.
Me: As I was saying, we just got remarried and I just want us to be happy and
inlove and constantly fuck.
He laughs and so do I.
Me: I do love you a lot... ouch! Ow! Hey.
He sits up and we are nose to nose. He lifts me and places me next to him,
opening my gown in the process.
Him: Whats wrong? Lets go to the hospital.
Me: No. Your fucken kids.
He gives me a death stare as I say so and I roll my eyes. Im brushing the side of my
belly and so is he.
Him: Whats wrong?
Me: The elbow. Her elbow is poking on my side and the other one is caught under
my rib.
Him: Aw my nunu. Im sorry.
He rubs my belly and kisses my belly repeatedly until the pain evades.
~Melisizwe~
Thando is dripping wet. Why cant I get over her good delicious nookie? She
screams and comes flooding on me like the Niagra Falls. Damn. She closes her
eyes and lightly snores.
The next morning, I make her breakfast in bed and go to our room. Shes bent over
doing I dont know what.
Me: Baby! No dont do that.
She stands and smiles at me.
Her: I wanted my nookie to get some air. You really did a number on me damn
man.
I laugh and she fans herself.
Her: You know, after last night no more right?
My smile fades and I think my mouth hangs.
Me: Why?
Her: My water broke.
I stop and look at her legs. I freeze. Isnt it too early?
Her: Baby lets go to the hospital kaloku.
How is she so calm at such a critical time. I run around like headless chicken
looking for alk the necessary things. Thank God Ive showered. I wear trackpants,
vest and loafers. She wears a dress and my slippers and gets the phone. Shes
walking around so casually.
Me: You good? You not hurting? Can you walk?
She smiles at me
Her: No baby Im fine. Lets go.
I run to the car and put all the bags inside, then go back in and carry her to the
car, much to her delight. I lock up and drive off to the hospital. On the handsfree,
I call my mom.
Her: Yes?
Me: Its time. Thandos giving birth. Meet us at the hospital.
Mama: Okay. Wow so soon?
I hang up as soon as I hear Thando groan.
Her: Oww!
I grab her hand and help her breathe like they taught us in the classes we
attended.
Thando: aaaaaah!
That must be the first contraction. I want to let go of her hand and rub her back
but she holds it firmly.
Her: No dont please...

Shes laying on the bed and there are a lot of machines hooked up to her. Im
scared for her life. I keep rubbing her back and holding her hand with the other.
Shes laying softly.
Dr: We need to go to theater. Shes not dilating and the babies are starting to use
function.
Fuck! I gently wake her up and go change into scrubs. Then meet her in theater. I
go straight for her hand and kiss her on the forehead repeatedly.
Her: Baby Im scared. Its only the 7th month.
Me: We'll be fine. The babies will be good. We'll all be happy. I love you.
She nods and kisses my lips. I really feel like crying. Tears fall down my face, inside
my head I say a silent prayer asking that Thando and my kids make it. Im kissing
her forehead, after a while, there is a soft cry and I look up its a baby boy. They
place him on Thandos chest. Then theres silence.
Dr: This little one is hungry.
He hands me the other one and I place him on my bare chest. Why isnt he crying?
Hes so tiny on my chest Im so scared to drop him and yet Im petrified to tighten
my grip around him incase I squeeze him to death. After a while the nurses take
them and go clean them and place them in incubaturs because they are so small.
My little premies. I kiss Thando, thanking her for this precious gift. She blushes
and I go to the little ones in the nursery.

~Thando~
My body hurts so badly from the op. My lower half is killing me but I miss my
babies more. I want to go see them. Meli walks in with an arm full of flowers.
Theyre so beautiful
Me: For me?
He nods and I squeal in delight. But then remember Im in pain, as it comes like
shockwave through my body.
Me: Thank you angel.
Him: No, thank you for giving me two beautiful and precious sons.
I blush
Him: I used to take your love for granted and Im sorry for that.
Me: Water under the bridge.
He kisses me all over my face,
Him: You make me so happy.
Me: So do you. Well at times, you piss me off but nonetheless, I cant imagine my
life without you.
Him: I dont ever want to even think about it. You are my life, without you I die.
I blush and he kisses me again. Fred stands.
Me: No baby and then?
Him: I already planned to fuck you the whole of yesterday but ke..
Me: Yesterday?
Him: Yeah. After the op you slept the whole day. I was so worried but the drs
assured me you were fine. I hope you dont mind but I named the boys.
I smile.
Me: Okay? And it is?
Him: Sibon'engezi nosibon'ezile.
What the fuck?

Sorry my facebook is only responding now since Saturday...

Somethings up with this page. My inserts keep disappearing. Angeke ha.a...

£59
~Thando~
I burst out laughing and so does he. Ooooh! Ouch! The pain! I stop laughing and
so does he
Him: Im so sorry baby. I didnt mean it. I was joking. Its Meluthando and
Mmeliwothand
Me: Ncaaaw! Wow baby. What inspired those names? I love them.
Him: Seeing them and how hard Ive been smiling since Ive been with them.
Me: When can I go see them?
Theres a soft knock on my door and the dr enters.
Him: oh youre up? Congratulations. How are you feeling?
Me: Sore. Very sore.
Him: Can I check the incision?
I open my gown and theres so much blood. Fuck! Im embarrassed at once. Why
though? Meli looks at the cut with so much worry in his eyes. The dr does
everything.
Him: Should give it some time to heal. Dont lift anything heavy and take it easy.
See you in a months time to check for any scarring or tearing. Okay? Everything
seems good.
I thank him and he turns hus attention back to Meli.
Hin: No sex for the next 2 months. Or until shes completely healed.
Mel smiles and nods. The dr leaves.
Meli: Baby?
Me: Nana?
He smiles
Him: Are you disappointed that theyre not girls?
Me: Not really no. As long as my babies are healthy and alive.
He smiles and kisses my forehead.
Me: Lets go see them.
I call a nurse and she comes through and helps me clean up myself and shower
and all. Once Im clean, Meli and I go to the nursery. He carries me. So extra.
When we go in, oh my goodness, theyre so small. The nurse comes in and helps
me feed them through the holes in the incubator. My heart breaks as I wanted to
feed them with breast milk.

We're back in my room and Meli is in my bed cuddling the pain. Theres a knock
and Meli tells them to enter. Mama comes in, followed by everyone.
Ma: Morning nana
Me: Molo mah.
Thandiswa comes to my bed and hugs me for dear life.
Her: You okay?
Me: Uhm... yeah.. just hungry and in a lot of pain.
Mom: Oh my baby... what did they give you for pain?
I show her and she nods
We talk for a while completely ignoring every one else
Mom: I was so worried baby..
Me: Im okay. Just happy they're alive you know? Anyway hows David and the
kids?
She blushes and smiles
Her: Theyre fine. Growing. Amor is asking about you constantly and Blessing is
starting to walk.
I smile at her as she talks about her kids, my siblings. We talk for sometime and
she asks for hot water and they give her and she pours peppermint druppels in for
me to drink. Its bitter but apparently it helps with cleaning the womb and
removing clots and impurities faster. Then she leaves.
Mama: Unjani ntombi?(how are you girl)
Me: Im good. The pain is subsiding but Im okay.
When I look around, Meli is gone with this brothers and father probably to go see
the boys.
Mama: Kanyi,
I smile at her and she smiles back.
Her: Im sorry.
I frown
Me: For?
Her: All that happened with you and Meli and how I wasnt there for you.
Me: Its okay mama. Water under the bridge.
She hugs me and smiles.

*3 months later*
~Melisizwe~
Things have been okay around the house. Except for the twins crying and Thandos
too, we've been good. Little Ahlumile, has been home for a couple of weeks and it
was great. She loves her brothers so much and cant wait for them to walk and
talk. Shes a feisty 2 year old who can talk yho! Shes very spoilt by everyone and is
great to be around. But she had to go back to the States because her mother
missed her. Her and Thando get along like a house and fire, its adorable to watch.
Speaking of Thando, I miss her so much. Being inside of her, hearing her moan my
name, squirt on me, riding me and putting Fred in her mouth. We havent done it
since she came back from the hospital and although I understand, I crave for her.
Some days I sleep in the guestroom to avoid seeing her naked because I get
turned on immediately. Shes been exercising and drinking all sorts of healthy stuff
so her body is banging for days. Her ass is just... let me get back to work before I
come in my pants.

Im at the office, drawing up a budget for a new building and reviewing the
acutectural structure. Theres a knock at my door. Who the fuck could it be, I told
Craig, my new assistant, that I dont want anyone here.
Me: Yes?
Her perfume hits me before I even look up. Wow, shes magnificent.
Her: Hi baby. Lunch?
I smile. My woman always thinks of everything.
Me: Please.
She comes around and hands me my food. The phone rings. Fuck.
Her: Answer, and dont drop.
I look at her confused and I answer. She comes around and gets on her knees.
Fuck. I hope shes not thinking of doing what I think she is. She unzips my pants
and takes out Fred. She smiles and licks her lips. Damn. I can hardly concentrate
on the call.
Me: Can I get back to you?
Her: You drop, I stop.
Fuck! I continue, lying about something but I find it. Mr Andrews is such a pester.
Why is he going on when Im being pleasured. It takes all thats in me not to moan.
She keeps taking me deeper in her mouth, smiling and kissing my penis. Then, she
fully satisfied me. Yeeeerr! I gasp at the pleasure and bite my hand to refrain from
moaning.
"Shit" comes unbidden from my mouth.
Andrews: Is everything alright?
Me: Yes uhm, I... closed the drawer on my finger.
Im lying through my teeth and Thando is relentless in her pleasure giving. Im so
close to coming, I really am. She stops... noo please no. Then stands and hitches
up her already short skirt and slides me in. What? Shes not wearing underwear?
She came prepared. Oh she feels so good and tight. She should stop with her
kegels now cause damn. She stars moving, while I continue trying to talk on the
phone about budget and logistics.
Me: Mr Andrews, I seem to have a missing page, can I call you back once I print it
out?
Him: No problem.
I hang up before I lose my boner. Now I can fully concentrate. Damn her waist is
more flexible than before, her ass softer yet firmer, bouncing on me, her breasts
rubbing on me, her moans silent but effective. She lets out a groan and cums
silently on me, soon I follow. She lays on my chest so she can catch her breath.
She takes her bag and takes out her wipes and wipes the both of us.
Her: Enjoy your meal and Ill see you at home nhe?
She pecks me on the lips and turns. Bends and I swat her on the bum, she giggles
and walks out, not before she blows me a kiss. Wow! What a way to start my day.

£60
~Thando~
Ooo that was fun! I cant wait for him to savage me tonight. You dont know how
much I craved for Melisizwes body but I was too insecure about myself. Even
though he would get a boner when I was naked I was still insecure but today, I
just felt like pleasing my man. I love Meli he is my 3rd baby. Haha you shouldve
seen the way he was sulking this morning, begging me to just let him touch it,
smell it even. My mans a freak. Im on my way to Woolies food for some cake for
me and my boo. I asked his mom to baby sit for us and she was beyond excited.
My boys? Yho Ive never loved two people more than I love them. They are my
everything and more. They make me angry, happy, sad, cry and laugh. Everyday
they look more and more like their father and that saddens me.
?:Hey
I turn to find Caryn smiling at me. Gosh what a mood spoiler.
Me: Hello.
Her: Congrats on the kids.
Me: And you know this how?
Her: Yonela mightve mentioned something.
Me: mmm.. thanks.
I take the cake and walk away to the till to pay.

Back home I cook up a storm, trying out some recipes and adding a few twists of
my own. I bought this sexy little number for him to rip apart with his teeth and
waited for him to come home. The door opens and he comes in. He smiles at me
Him: My baby?
Me: My love youre home early.
He smiles and moves closer to me until we're nose to nose. Im wearing his gown
and my undies only so he'll access me fast and I dont want that.
Me: No..
I say moving away, hes so hard and ready to pounce on me.
Him: Why?
He kisses my neck and moves down. This feels damn good.
Me: Food... now... baby
He doesnt stop until he reaches my happy place. He comes up, licks my lips and
bites my bottom lip, pulling and sucking on it.
Him: Whats for supper, besides you?
I think my cheeks have turned beetroot red. This guy mara? I giggle. No words.
Him: Haibo? No words?
I shake my head and lead him to the kitchen.

We having dinner over a light conversation

Him: You know, we've never been on a proper honeymoon.
I frown and look at him
Me: Well we arent married yet so...
Him: We have.
Me: Well let me put it this way, Ive never had my dream wedding.
He stops what hes doing.
Him: You want a wedding? White?
Me: Both. I want to choose my wedding not have it done for me. Nothing big.
Something small and intimate, like us.
He looks at me, dumbfounded.
Him: Right now?
He says while scratching his head.
Me: Why not?
Him: Weve been married before so its just going to be a waste of money.
I cant believe he's just said that. I feel my tears threatening to fall. So basically he
was marrying me for convenience? I get up and he stands before me.
Me: Move!
Clearly he doesnt want this. Can he not see my reasoning? Im in no mood for this
conversation.
Him: Babe..
I snatch my hand away and walk off. Trying my best not to cry. I can hear his
footsteps behind me
Him: Thando! Can we talk?
Me: What for? You already made up your mind so whatever I say will be futile.
Him: Come on!
Me: No its fine. Kakade whatever you say goes so why did I even think itd be
different this time?
He sighs and keeps quiet. Im in mood for sex anymore, Im fucking pissed.

~Melisizwe~
Its been so sour in this house since dinner and I refuse to sleeep like this. No,
never.
Me: Thando. My baby.
She gives me a deadly stare, yho.
Her: Yes?
Shes reading a book and looking so good in her lingerie. This is torture but I need
to be strong.
Me: Ndijonge kaloku(look at me)
She puts her book down and looks at me with such attitude.
Me: Im sorry about what I said.
Her: Did you mean it?
Did I?
Me: Not really.
Her: Explain yourself.
Me: Well, just that I didnt think youd want another wedding. Just a private
getaway between the two of us. Try for another baby.
Her: There you go. Sex! Thats all you ever think about... what about what I feel?
Want? Need?
Sigh. Theres more to this than meets the eye.
Me: No I dont always think about sex.. I also think about your captivating smile,
your dreamy eyes, your addictive laugh, how you say my name, how cute you
look when your angry, the way you scrinch your eyes when reading fine print and
how disorientated you are when youve just woken up.
She blushes and covers her face.
Her: Youre not off the hook Mr! Out with it.
Me: Im sorry I didnt consider your feelings. We can have a wedding of your
dreams with carriages and ballroom and all the extravagents. Anything for you
baby.
She giggles.
Her: Ballroom nhe?
Me: Yes girl!
She laughs and comes closer to me to kiss me.
Her: Okay. But I mean it when I say something small. Just a few people probably
50, at your moms house and our kids to be part of it. Thats it. Nothing drastic.
I smile and nod.
Me: Okay.
She straddles me and kisses me while grinding her hips. Shes a vixen. After a
while, she pulls away.
Her: Thank you.
Me: Anything for my baby. I hate it when we fight.
Her: Me too. Okay one last thing..
I sigh.
Me: Yes?
Her: Ha.a dont be like that.
I huff and smile
Me: Yes honey?
She gigggles
Her: Better. Uhm, its about work.
Me: No.
Her: You didnt even hear me out yet.
Me: I dont need to. Babe I make enough for us to live on.
Her: Baby, please Im begging you. Its not even about money, okay maybe, but
please, think about it.
I huff, im frustrated. Why cant she understand my reasoning?
Me: Fine.. now can I have my nookie please? Ive been waiting a damn good 3
months to taste it again.
She laughs
Her: So chivalrous of you.
Im in no mood to talk. Time to eat.

'MELII... BHUTI... BABY... PLEASE... AAH... NO... FUCK!' Is all that my beautiful wife
is moaning as I take her from behind. Shes holding onto the kitchen sink as I take
her from behind. Her leg is perched up on the step ladder and the other on the
floor. Her glorious ass is right on me as her back us arched and her waist moving
in circles as we make sweet divine love. This is probably the 8th time we've been
at it, Ive even lost count. I smack her ass and that sets her off because she cums,
showering me in the process and in no time, I follow suit. We stay like this for a
while before she puts her leg down and I carefully slide out of her. Her nookie is
swollen.
Her: Damn baby... you sure know how to chow nookie and leave a bitch begging
for more.
I laugh. Haibo? Is this my dear wife talking like this?
Her: Hayi never. My poor coochie is on fire. Yhu.
She takes out a bag of frozen peas and puts it on her deliciousness. I cant help but
laugh. Seriously? Peas that we eat? Amen!
Me: I cant help that youre delicious. Got me wanting more all day, everyday. And
besides, whats with that new hip thing you doing? Where did you learn that?
Her: You like it?
I nod vigorously.
Her: Good cause Im not going to tell you.
Me: Eshee!
She laughs and carries on cooking. Its almost the end of April, so weather is quite
windy outside. I hope we'll be indoors the whole day.
Her: Baby wam?
I love it when she calls me that.
Me: My love?
Her: About work.
I sigh.
Me: Not this again.
Her: Yes. This again. I got a job interview on Monday.
Me: Oh where?
Her: Like Id tell you.
Me: Why not?
Her: So you can sabotage my chances? Ha! Im not stupid.
Woah! What does that mean?
Me: What does that mean?
Her: It means I know youre well connected and you dont want me to work, so
who knows what you can/will do.
Ouch!
Me: So you think Im so cruel as to mess with your career?
Im genuinely hurt by this. What the fuck is Thando taking me for? What is she
implying? Am I such a tyrant towards hr life?
Her: No I just meant...
Me: No its cool.
I get up and storm off. Im seriously pissed off by her statement. Yeah okay I admit
I dont want her to work, not because of insecurities, I just want her to be home
taking care of our kids herself. But I guess not.

£61
~Thando~
Switching off the stove, I follow after Meli. I find him in the bedroom sitting on
the chair with his face in his hands. He suddenly screams and throws the lamp
across the room.
Me: Haibo! Bhuti? And then?
Hes huffing.
Him: Why do you make me a monster?
Me: How?
Him: You make it seem as though Im some domineering tyrant that wants to
exhaust all types of control over you?
Me: Haibo nini?(when)
Him: That little sny comment you made about me.
Okay! Someone is seriously pissed off.
Me: Ill talk to you when youre calmer.
He pulls me by my arm and throws me on the bed. He hovers over me and stares
deep in my eyes.
Him: Thando, dont make me lose my patience with you. Im a very dangerous man
when Im pissed off so dont... please dont tip me over the edge. Dont make me
something Im not.
Hes seriously angry and Im beginning to feel very scared and overpowered. He
can see the fear in my eyes and he climbs off me and sits on the chair opposite
the bed. I sit up and bring my knees up to my chest.
Him: Have I ever made you stop your job? Even when you had that whole ordeal
with Jonas, did I make you quit?
I shake my head no.
Him: So what makes you think Id intervene in your career?
I say nothing.
Him: Yes I asked you not to work but you made it perfectly clear that you enjoy it
and I let you be. So why are you making me seem like an overbearing husband?
I keep quiet. I didnt realise that my comment hurt him so much.
Me: Im sorry.
He looks at me and nods. No words. I get up and walk towards him and stand
infront of him. I feel bad.
He pulls me closer and I sit on his lap.
Him: I love you and whatever you choose Ill support you and the only reason I
never want to hear you talk about work, is because I enjoy our little bubble and
dont want it to burst just yet.
I giggle and kiss him on his forehead. Hes so cute.
Me: Thank you.
He gasps.
Him: Thank you? Qha?
I giggle and nod.
Him: Eshee! Mxm suka phez kwam(get off of me)
Me: Andifun(I dont want to)
He smiles and kisses my nose.
Me: You so extra though. Storming off like that?
Him: Oho! Mpa!
I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder. He
smells so good.
Him: So whens the interview?
Me: Monday. 10am sharp.
He nods.
Him: Okay.
Me: Uhm... Tatabo?
I know he melts when I call him this. He smiles.
Him: Ntombam?
I laugh so loud. Haibo!
Me: I need an outfit.
Him: Okay. You can go after Im done having my way with you.
He says while kissing my neck. This man though. Such stamina for an old man. My
old man..

We're at the mall wearing matching navy jeans, sneakers and tops. Meli is so
much taller besides me with his hand on my bum. Obviously marking his territory
and not giving a damn about the looks people are giving us. Meli has grown some
few grey hairs and he says its all my fault. I stress him too much. Hehake.
Me: So what do you think of this?
Im in the fitting rooms and hes standing at the door looking at me. He frowns at
the knee-length red skirt.
Him: Too revealing.
Me: Revealing?
I look at myself in the mirror.
Him: Ewe! It draws out whats mine.
I just roll my eyes. To be honest, I like this skirt.
Me: Too bad, Im taking it. I like this skirt
Him: Then why did you ask for my opinion?
He says so irritated.
Me: Hehake. Impoxo engaka?
He smirks and wriggles his eyebrows.
Him: Im hungry.
Me: No you just dont want to be here with me anymore.
I say while pouting. Im guilt tripping him.
Him: Damn right!
Ha! That backfired quickly. Nx.
Me: Fine. But dont complain when I max your card out.
Him: Please do. Cause you forever buying for everyone else but you. Enjoy my
love. Im out.
He pecks and squeezes my bum, making me squeal with excitement. He walks
away and Im left smiling like a fool.
?: I wish I could get that kind of love.
I turn and find a very beautiful lady smiling at me.
Me: Its lurking in every corner. All you need to do is let it find you.
She smiles and extends her hand
Her: Britney.
Me: Thando.
Her: Beautiful face.
Me: My thoughts exactly.
She laughs and walks off. Strange.

Im so exhausted from shopping and eating take out. Im laying in the bathtub, just
soaking my stress and pain away. Im so nervous for Monday. What if I dont get
the job? Yho Ill be crushed shame.
Meli: Baby... nana... mntwam... mama wamawele am... the one who holds my
heart, soul and body...
I blush. Hes standing near the door, leaning on the frame smiling at me.
Him: Where were you now?
Me: Nervous for Monday.
Him: Youll do great. I know. Stop stressing
I sigh and nod. He comes and kneels next to the tub and plays with the water. I
pull him closer and peck him continuously until he chuckles.
Him: You love me dont you?
Me: Uhm... well... to be honest...
We both laugh.
Me: I do. Like you love me.
He smiles.

~Melisizwe~
The weekend has been good with my wife but its back to work. Im lighter, airier,
happier this morning. Must be all the sexing we've been having this past
weekend. But it was shortlived as Thando wanted us to go see the boys at moms.
So I couldnt do all that I wanted yesterday, just half. Mx. I have so much work to
do, its draining. Eish! By the time Im done its after lunch and Im exhausted,
mentally.
Me: Craig!
I bark. Aaah! My office is soundproof. How stupid. I pick up the phone and call
him
Him: Sir?
Me: Bring me lunch. Im dying.
Him: Yes Sir. Anything specific.
Me: 2 chicken and mayo sandwiches, 1l of water and fruit. Hurry, Im eroding
away.
He laughs.
Him: Right away Sir.
I hang up. My phone rings again
Me: Yes?
Theres a scream.
Me: Pinkpuffs?
Thats what I call Thando and she hates to love it.
Her: I got the job. Just got called back now now. I got it.
Me: Congrats baby. See I told you! Congrats angel.
Her: Thank you. See you at home?
Me: Yeah... but Ill be late. I have a lot to catch up on.
Her: Okay. I love you.
Me: Thank you.
She clicks her tongue and hangs up. He.. i call her.
Her: What?
Me: I love you most.
Then hang up. I know she'll blush till her cheeks turn purple. Craig comes in with
my food and I immediately devour it. I hand him some money and he kindly
declines.
Him: This is my thank you for the job. Id be dead had you not given me this job.
Atleast let me show my appreciation.
He smiles and walks out. Im stunned. Speechless. What did he mean that hed be
dead?

After what seems like forever, I drive home to my house. We moving here soon,
although its quite far but Thando loves it. I walk in and shes cooking in the kitchen
in a dress and slippers. She looks so cute.
Me: Daddys home.. and I know youve been waiting for this loving all day..
I sing as I walk in, licking my lips and seductively stripping for her. She comes
around and helps me out of my jacket then turns and grinds her sweet body on
me, using my tie as her grip. She then laughs and kisses me.
Her: Youre so crazy. Hey baby.
Me: Only for you. Hi.
Her: My old man. Can you believe you 5 years away from the big 40?
Me: Ha! OLD MAN? Thats not what you say when Im tearing that ass up.
She laughs and walks away.
Her: And you do. Must be the old age.
I laugh so hard. I love how playful we are when we want to.
Me: Does it bother you?
Her: What?
Me: My age.
Her: No. I like the fact that youre older. Brings a certain level of sophistication to
our love. And besides, I make you younger anyway.
I chuckle. Such truth.
Me: Mmm... I wanted to bring you gifts but I was swamped. I promise tomorrow
though.
Her: No need. Your support is all the gift I need.
I smile and sit on the kitchen counter.
Me: Boys not back?
She pouts, looking a little sad.
Her: No. Mom begged to keep them just for a bit. But I miss them so much.
Me: I know you do. But Im here and we can make another one.
She laughs
Her: After the twins are two.
I nod.
Me: So how did it go?
Her: Uhm... okay... i guess... just that...
She keeps quiet.
Me: What?
Her: The boss, is that lady I met when I went shopping, remember her?
I shake my head. I probably wasnt paying attention.
Her: Do you ever listen?
Me: Not when you naked. I dont hear anything but your moans.
She giggles and lightly swats me with a dishcloth.
Her: Arg kewena! The sex freak
Me: Stop changing the subject.
Her: Just that.. she was weird man.
Me: Weird how?
Her: Like she was checking me out.
Me: What?
Her: My thoughts exactly. Arg but I mustve been imagining things. Probably my
nerves.
I nod. Not knowing what to say. What can you say when your wife thinks that her
female boss is checking her out? To be honest, Im a little skeptical about all this.
But I cant say anything or do anything or it'll be like Im against her working.

The catch-up begins...

£62
~Thando~
The week passes in a flash and Im glad it has. Monday I start work officially and Im
so excited. The twins are just working on my fucken nerves. Theyve been crying
for me always especially when I put them down, so Ive had to have them sleep on
me, much to Melis disapproval saying that Im spoiling the boys but can you blame
me? Theyre my first surviving kids and Im petrified to lose them yhu I love my
pikininis.
Him: Pinkpuff?
I fucken hate this stupid name. The fuck? Im so old for such.
Me: Mkhonto?
He blushes so hard and I giggle.
Him: I dont think they love me.
He says with such a sad face. He looks like hes about to cry.
Me: Haibo nana? Wheres this coming from?
Him: When I take them from you they cry and always want you.
Me: Thats not true my love. Just that Ive been home for the past 4 months so
theyre used to me more than you. But they do love you though.
He pouts and lays his head on my shoulder. He really is feeling down and I dont
know how fix this.
Me: Dont be sad my love.
He sighs and says nothing. He climbs on me and cuddles me until he falls asleep. I
cant sleep a wink just thinking about what hes just said. My heart sinks and I want
to cry shame.
I dont know when I fell asleep but i wake up bright and early Sunday morning and
start with the pots. My head is heavy and my shoulders painfully cramping. Must
be all the stress that Im having from Melisizwe. Mam' Thithi walks in, shes the
twins helper. I love her shes quite old but knows how to handle the boys. Shes a
widower with 3 older kids. They youngest, Melis age and she calls me her baby.
She works for us because shes bored at home and her kids dont send her money.
Its quite sad actually.
Me: Mamzo.
Her: Mntwanam(my child)
Me: uleli kamnandi(sleep well)?
Her: Ewe wethu. Yhu bayalala abantwana bakho andinabhongo. (Your babies can
sleep yhu) and you?
I sigh and just shrug.
Me: Ndilele wethu(I slept okayish).
Her: Theni?(whats wrong)
Me: Stress.
Her: No man baby dont stress. Tomorrow will go okay. Im here and so is
umamazala(your mother in law). So it will be fine.
I nod and she gives me a hug.
After church, we go back home. The boys are sound asleep in the car and Meli is
just so quiet today. Oh my baby! I miss him so much even though hes right beside
me. I reach over and brush his thigh. He doesnt even look at me, instead he takes
my hand and moves it from him. And then? What did I do?

After supper, Im playing with the boys and laughing so hard at the faces they
make. They're so cute, a spitting image of their father. I take a few pics with my
phone of them smiling and sleeping. Meli walks in and sits next to me.
Him: Hi.
Me: mmmm...
Him: About what happened in the car, Im sorry. I was just not in a good space.
Me: But Im here for you nje.
Him: I know. Im sorry
I pout and he smiles and smashes his lips on mine. He attemps to pull away but I
pull him closer and deepen the kiss. He tastes like chocolate. I pull away
immediately.
Me: You had chocolate without me?
He smiles and nods.
Him: I couldnt resist.
Me: Mxm mpa.
I lightly push him and focus on the boys. Melu is pulling on Meli. Meli picks him up
and Melu giggles. Its so cute that I cant help but smile. I take snaps of them with
Mmeli in the picture too. My boys.
Me: Babe we should go for a photoshoot.
He smiles and nods. The boys are pulling on his face and lips and sucking his face.
Meli is just laughing and saying no but the boys continue. So adorbs.
We're in bed. Cuddling while watching a movie. Well Im watching and hes reading
the paper.
Me: I cant wait for tomorrow but Im so sad I wont be here for the boys.
He looks at me through his glasses and frowns. He looks so hot when he wears his
glasses especially now that hes got a beard. Ooo my clit throbs. Why cant I get
enough of this man?
Him: Why you looking at me like Im a piece of meat?
Me: Because you are.
I straddle him and bite his bottom lip and pull. Damn. He groans.
Him: Horny much?
Me: For you? Anyday.
He chuckles and pulls me closer. I start grinding on his rising dick, while kissing
him. He groans on my neck, sucking and biting it. Aaah...

~Melisizwe~
Ever since Thando telling me about her boss, Ive been uneasy. Ive got my eye on
her and if she tries anything Ill fuck her up. I was once a very bad boy before so I
know people whod be willing to taste some white pussy before finishing her off.
Anyone comes near my family and kids, I wont hesitate to fuck them up. Im not as
good as I perceive myself to be and I have no problem channeling that side of
myself again. But thats a story for another day. My personal phone rings, a
number I dont know.
Me: ...
?: Hello? Mr Mvelase?
Sounds like my old PA, Stuart
Me: Yes?
Him: Please... come fast. They want to kill me please.
Me: Where are you?
Him: No Im coming to you. Please Sir, help me.
The line goes dead. The fuck? Theres a sudden commotion outside my office and
the door flies open. Such disrespect. Its Nelson. Oh.
Me: Nelson...
Craig: I tried to stop him but...
Me: Its fine Craig. Ive got this.
Nelson: Mvelase my dear friend.
Hes an American so he says my surname with a slight twang.
Me: How can I help you?
Him: Your boy stole from me.
Me: Boy? I dont have a boy?
Him: Dont fuck with me. Stuart. That little idiot of yours that you recommended
me. Stole from me.
Fuck! How can one person be so stupid?
Me: How much?
He laughs.
Him: 8 diamonds. Rubies and emeralds
Fuck!! Thats close to a hundred million on the black market. Fuck!
I whistle and shake my head
Me: Shit. Now whats that got to do with me?
Him: We tracked his phone and he called you.
Me: Yeah, something about someone wanting to kill him.
Him: Well, thats where you come in.
I shake my head. I thought I was through with this life, but it keeps pulling me
back.
Me: Fuck!

£63
~Melisizwe~
Nelson: Indeed.
Me: But Im not about that life anymore.
Him: Once youre in, youre in for life. Doesnt matter how legit you try to go.
True! I huff and call Kamva.
Him: Mntaka Daddy
Me: Shits hit the fan...
I drop the call. He knows what I mean. Nelson smiles and lights a cigar and chills in
my office.
Him: You have a nice business here. Read that you made your first 100 mill mark 3
months ago. Impressive.
Me: I try.
Him: So is it a front for the smuggles or legit for real?
Me: Legit for real. No crap, no bullshit.
He nods.
Him: So the smuggles?
Me: Like I said, I dont do that anymore.
He smirks and carries on smoking. His guard is at the door loooking ahead,
probably at the skyline. I continue with my work until Kamva calls me.
Me: What did you get?
Him: Already sold, on a ship on its way to Europe.
Me: Fuck!
Him: Yeah. Nelson there?
Me: Yeah. Busy fumegating my work place, the fucking prick.
Nelson laughs and his bodyguard smiles. Nelsons laugh is addictive man, he'll
make you laugh even when you dont want to.
I put the phone on speaker.
Me: Thetha(speak).
Kamva: Nel, long time.
Nel: I saw you two weeks back.
He? Kamva? Nc nc nc. But thats none of my shit.
Kamva: You still cant tell us apart?
Nel: Fuck! So whats the news?
Kamva: Your diamonds are on their way to Europe and Stuart? Dead! D'you do it?
Nel smiles
Him: Depends on what you plan to do with that info?
Kamva sighs
Him: Why Meli?
Nel: Because that was his shipment.
My eyes widen. What?
Me: What?
I press a red button and in seconds, 4 of my guards come in. I pull out my gun and
stand.
Kamva: Melisizwe!
Me: Bye!
I hang up. And walk towards Nel, my gun aimed at his head. Nel puts down his
cigar and looks at me.
Him: Sorry man.
I lower my gun and tip the table over. Im fuming.
Me: Whats the next move from now?

Im on my way home, Im bruised from the fight Nel and I had. We drove to the
warehouse and things got heated when we couldnt agree on a way forward. Nel
blames me for Stuart and I blame him for not keeping my stash safe. But now all
things are cool between us, just that we need to move fast. How am I going to
explain the cut on my back? Or the swollen lip? Or bruised rib? Thando is very
observant over my body so she'll notice fast. I pull up at the gate and go in. Im not
going to hide it. Shes cooking in the kitchen and I go in.
Me: Hey.
I cant look at her in the eye. She gasps when she sees me and rushes over. Gently
lifting my face, she looks in my eyes. Hers are glassy and I need to assure her Im
fine.
Me: Please dont cry. Im fine. Just a little squabble with an old friend. Im fine now.
Her: Baby....
Thats all she says before she attacks me with a kiss. She pulls away when she sees
me wince.
Her: Are you okay? Come sit. Oh my love. Why? What happened? Come lets go to
the hospital.
Me: No. No hospital Im fine.
I have an hour tops here before I leave. How am i going to explain this?
Me: Honey, listen..
I say pulling her back to me.
Me: I have to go.
Her: What? Melisizwe you just got here. And how are you going anywhere when
youre in this state?
Me: Im fine baby, really Im a big boy. Ill heal faster.
Her: I dont care. You not going!.
He! This woman is unbelievable. Hee, I just laugh. I cant help it.
Her: Something funny perhaps?
Me: Thando, Im leaving. Ill explain when i come back. Be safe, you and my kids. I
love you too much to let something happen to you. I mean it when I say youre my
life. I love you.
I peck her and walk away.
Her: Melisizwe!
Im in the plane on my way to London with Nel, Kamva and Khanya. Langa will
follow if things get out of hand. Im fuming with rage. Thando is so mad at me. She
cried when I left and my heart broke. But Im doing this for us. So they are safe. Im
not worried about her and my boys because I know they're safe. I always have
body guards around me, but youll never notice until you take a closer look. They
are always lurking, 8 of them. They rotate with the others. My main guy, Tido, is
always amongst them. Hes with us now on our flight, hes very versatile and can
shoot a whole kilometre away point blank. Thats what I love about him. My body
is not as sore Ill recover, we just going to lay low in Europe until the shipment
comes in. Im going to Italy while Kamva is headed for London, Khanya France and
Nel Russia. We spreading out to see where the shipment is going so we can collect
my diamonds and go home, hopefully without a mess.

~Thando~
I honestly dont know whats going on with Melisizwe anymore. He comes home,
bruised and battered, only to tell me hes leaving. And worst of all, I dont know
where to. Hee! If hes cheating on me, uzonya! I will leave with my kids and
demand sole custody of them. He better not fuck with me, Im batshit crazy this
time around and I will not put my little angels at risk. Im not about that life. I look
over to his side of the bed and its empty. I get up and go sleep in my babies room.
I take them both and put them in my bed because its bigger and make their
bottles and sleep. I wake up early in the morning and change both their nappies
and feed them their bottles and sleep again. My phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Meli: Baby, you still mad?
Me: Where are you?
Him: Italy.
I keep quiet. Ive always wanted to go there. I heard its a beautiful country that
serves the best pizzas and macarons.
Him: My love?
Me: Oh.
Him: Its for business baby and I dont know how long Im going to be here for. I
miss you so much. Please dont be mad at me.
Me: Im not. Well not anymore.
Him: I miss you.
Me: Me too. And so do the twins. They're sleeping on your side of the bed.
I hear him smile.
Him: Kiss them for me. I love you all and you the most.
I giggle
Me: Baby... you cant say that.
Him: Its true. Who do you love more between me and the boys?
Me: The boys.
Him: Yho!
I giggle with tears in my eyes. I miss him so much it must be a sin.
Him: Okay ke. I now know where your loyalties lie. I love you a lot even though
you dont love me most.
Me: Stop being so extra.
He laughs
Him: Sleep well my baby. Goodnight.
Me; Bye. I love you.
Him: I love you too.
And I hang up. I kneel before my bed and just let my worries go. I give them up to
the Almighty because I cant bare them anymore. I dont know, for some reason
my shoulders are heavy and Im praying for my husband so much.
My alarm goes off and I switch it off. I wake up and it feels like Im walking on a
cloud. I feel lighter and ready to face today. To be honest, my boss creeps the
living shit out of me. I dont know man, shes sweet uBritney I wont lie but her eyes
tell a different story. Behind her seemingly innocent smile, theres a hidden
agenda and Im yet to put my finger on it.
I arrive at work and go to my desk and start up. Britney calls me to her office and I
go.
Her: Are you tech savvy?
I smile
Me: Not really Ma'am. But I try.
She rolls her eyes.
Her: When will you stop calling me ma'am?
Me: Never. Youre my boss. I need to respect you regardless.
She sighs and nods.
Her: Fine. The problems on my computer, can you help me? I dont want to call
the tech guy and waste money if its a small issue.
I giggle and go over. She moves her chair away and I bend over and look at the
problem
Me: Do you have an external drive?
Her: uhm.. I think so...
She stands and slides behind me. She moans when she passes by my bum and I
swear she paused for a second before passing. What is this? Did she just moan at
me?

Bonas...

£64
~Thando~
The rest of the day I work traumatised. I so want to call Melisizwe and tell him but
his phone says the number doesnt exist. What the flying fuck is going on? Usually
when I call him when hes away, he answers so whats up with this bull?
My day ends quickly and I go home to my babies. UMam'Thithi is busy with the
pots and the boys are in their little play bed playing. So I guess i should do my
wedding things. Ive already found the dresses, Im having Que and Erin as my
bridesmaids and their dresses are ready, Kamva and Khanyas suits are ready, Mels
suit is ready and the venues good. The cake is basically done and so is the food.
All I need to do is get married. All of this wouldnt have been possible without my
friends, Suzi and Sazi, Thandiswa and Mam'Naledi. They helped me set it up now
its time to send out the invitations. All of this ia going to be a surprise to Meli and
Im so excited. But now Im not so sure because of his mysterious departure with
his brothers. Theres a knock on my door, I go open.
Me: Hello.
Siphe: Hey can we come in?
I open and they step in. Its her and Olwethu, Nomsas car pulls in just as Im about
to close the door, I wait for her and close up.
Me: Tea, coffee, juice, wine?
Nomsa: wine, doesnt matter.
Siphe: wine,white.
Olwethu: Juice.

We're seated in the lounge and Im giving the twins their bottles.
Siphe: Thando, Im sorry.
I look at her and say nothing. What can I say? I forgave her long ago but was just
mad for them not reaching out when they were in the wrong.
Nomsa: Im sorry.
Olwethu: Im sorry.
Me: okay.
Siphe: I know that I said Ill be here for you through thick and thin and failed to do
so. Im not going to make excuses or lie, Im just going to be honest with you and
apologise. It was wrong what I did and I apologise. But you are always welcome in
my home anyday anytime.
I smile and nod.
Olwethu: Youre like a little sister to me. And Im sorry for not being there when
you needed a shoulder to cry on. I...
She breaks down and cries. Nomsa comforts her and I take out tissues from my
bag to give to her. Mam'Thithi takes the twins to their room. I smile at her and go
hug Olwethu. She hugs me tighter and we all embrace in a bear hug. I wipe my
tears and go sit after we break the hug.xlp
Me: I forgave you guys a long time ago. Its okay. Im good now as you see Im
happy, married and with a job. So im good.
Siphe: Thank you. Your boys are so grown
Me: I know. Theyre a spitting image of their father.
I say while pouting
Nomsa: But with your eyes. Theyre handsome. Bazoba zizibethi(they'll be
charmers).
I bury my face in my hands.
Me: Yhuuu Suythetha sisi(Dont say that).
They laugh.
Me: So how are you guys?
Them: Good.
I giggle and so do they. Mam'Thithi brings food for everyone. Yho shes amazing. I
smile at her and mouth a 'thank you'. She smiles at me and we dig in.
Me: So hows the house without your hubbies?
Nomsa: I just want him back already. Their mission must just end already yhu.
Me: Mission?
Siphe shakes her head at Nomsa and Nomsa clears her throat.
Nomsa: yeah, their business trip.
Me: Oh.

~Melisizwe~
The shipment has arrived in London so Im on my way their to get my shit. Stuart is
an ass shame no doubt. Ive spent a good week going to the doc to check for any
new shipments from Africa and was starting to lose patience. My plane finally
lands and Tido drives us to where my diamonds are. Im very discrete when it
comes to my illegitimate business because I cant face being exposed. It wont be
good for me. Im in some field waiting for my diamonds. They arrive in 7 black
SUVs. The people inside step out. Oh my shit, its Sly. Sly has my diamonds.
Me: Fuck! Not this ass again.
Kay( Khanya): Shit! Lets prepare for war.
Kadar(Kamva): Im not in the mood for this crazy motherfucker.
Langa: Sly. My old friend.
Sly is an Irishman. A fucking lunatic. He lives on impulse, he could tell his guards to
shoot us now and the war would begin. Hes unpredictable to many but not me. I
read his movements very well and know when he'll strike. But sometimes he
catches me off guard too but its very rare.

Sly: The boys are in town. Whats up?

Me: You have my package.
Sly: Danger, the ever straight talker. What package are you on about?
Me: Dont fuck with me, you crazy bitch. You know what Im on about. How much
did you get for it so I can refund you?
Sly: Not for sale, well not to you.
See why I hate this bastard?
Me: Dont piss me off. Not today.
Sly: Congratulations on the twins. Adorable little boys.
Hee! Hes testing me. But Ill keep my composure.
Me: Thanks, my diamonds.
Sly: I bought them so their mine. Stuart, sold them to me fair and square.
Me: But you knew they were mine.
Sly: Thats not the point.
I laugh.
Me: Remember those words. Lets go.
Im livid but I have a better plan. Ill avenge myself and get my money. Fucking fool
thinks hes won? He really is out of his mind.

The next few days, we stake out Slys movements and calls. I know he knows and
is trying to block us out but its a futile attempt as we have all the info we need.
The Monday, we go to Ireland and hijack Slys shipment. It has diamonds, cocaine,
methane and 10 ypung women ready to be sold to the highest bidder. Im not into
trafficking, thats Nels forte. Hes a pimp so he takes the girls. Im left with the
diamonds and cocaine which I sell off and easily make a measly €150
million(pounds). I guess whoevers waiting for their order will be pissed off when it
doesnt arrive. Take whats mine then watch as I strip you of everything. My phone
rings, Sly.
Me: My friend
Sly: Ill fucking kill you you pig. Do you know how much damage ypuve caused you
black shit?
Me: I said give me whats due to me and you decided to get smart with me.
Sly: Its not over.
Me: Oh let the games begin my man..
I hang up. Time to celebrate my victory before the war begins.

~Thando~
My phone pings and its a message alerting me that R50 000 has been deposited in
my account. I hate it when Melisizwe does this. Him just throwing me with money
nx. I try calling him and it rings.
?: Hello?
Female voice, British too. Didnt he say hes in Italy?
Me: Hi. May I speak to Meli?
Her: Uhm... no I think youve got the wrong number... Dee, theres someone
looking for Meli.
Meli: No hang up and come here.
She hangs up. Heee! This motherfucker is with another woman? In a foreign
country? Letting her answer his phone? Then telling her to hand up? Whats going
on?
I call Olwethu asking her when the guys are coming back. I make up some lie of
me wanting to suprise Meli and not wanting to ruin it by asking. She tells me
they'll land Saturday and I get ready.
Friday I send my kids to their gran and give MamThithi the weekend off. Me and
my dear husband have some issues that need to be ironed out. Its Friday evening
and I havent slept a wink. My mind replays on the phone call, imagining all sorts
of scenarios of what they couldve been doing for him to tell her to hang up on
me. I wont curse at her because shes innocent in all this. Shes not married to me.
Im sitting on the chair facing the door, sipping on some vodka. I feel like Im in a
fucken James Bond movie and Im James Bond. I hear a car pull up and Im guessing
its him. He opens and closes the door and hear his light footsteps up the stairs. He
comes to our room and walks in and shuts the door. I flicker the lamp on and he
jumps back.
Him: Hayi man! Do you want my heart to stop?
I look at him, carry on puffing on the cigarette Ive lit and sip on my cold vodka.
Me: So who is she?
He looks at me dumbfounded
Him: Since when do you smoke?
Me: Answer my question. Who is she?
Im calm and collected. Ive cried enough, no more tears now.
Him: Baby whats going on?
Me: Who is she?
I keep asking the same question like Im insane
Him: I dont know what youre talking about.
Me: Really? Dont lie to my face.
Him: Thando, baby, pinkpuff..
He sets me off and I throw the glass at him. It hits the arm blocking his face and
shatters on the floor. I grab the bottle and down it. Meli is standing there
shocked. Not uttering a single word. My crazy bitch mode has been activated and
until he answers me, shes here to stay.

Good day...

£65
~Melisizwe~
Did she just throw a glass at me? My pinkpuff?
Her: Melisizwe Mvelase, I will not ask you again. WHO IS SHE?
Shes calm now probably drained from all the yelling. Shes so beautiful when shes
mad.
Me: Who is who?
Her: The woman who answered your phone.
Me: My phone?
Im confused as Fuck. What is she on about?
She stands and grabs her keys and walks out. I run past her and lock the front
door and then run to the kitchen and lock that door too.
Her: Wenzani?
Shes so calm its actually scary.
Me: Uyaphi?
Her: Where I will find my sanity. Because clearly youre out to make me crazy and
trust me, you havent seen shit!
Yho! And here I was thinking Sly was crazy and impulsive.
Me: Baby Im not cheating. Wouldnt even dream of it.
Her: Then who answered your phone? The woman you told to hang up and go
over to you?
Oooh!
Me: Charlize? Shes just a... an aquiantance.
Her: You must think Im fucken stupid! So this is why you wanted me to be a
housewife? So you can travel fucking all the bitches of this world knowing your
piece of shit wife is at home? Rha!
She pushes past me and storms upstairs. Who is this woman and where is my
Thando?
Me: Pinkpuff?
She stops in her tracks and gives me a deadly stare. Yho if looks could kill, Id be
dead now. She turns and slowly walks my way. Hey I start backing away slowly,
but he! Im the one whos the man here, let her throw her best shot. This time Im
ready. I walk towards her and I think she sees my expression and backs away.
Thats it! Good girl. She backs up against the door and I lean in.
Me: Firstly, you will NEVER throw anything at me again?
She just looks at me. I think Ive met my match. I bang on the door with my fist.
She startles and swallows hard.
Me: Understood?
She nods. Not a tear in sight. This is definately not my Thando.
Her: You done?
She folds her arms. Im stunned.
Her: You Will NEVER EVER tell anyone to hang up on me! Or there will be hell to
pay. Understand?
I look her in the eye and give her my most intimidating look. I move closer.
Me: What?
She says nothing except swallow hard.
Me: Who is the man apha? You or me?
Her: Whats that...
Me: Thando! Answer my question.
She swallows again
Her: You.
Me: Good. Dont you forget that.
She just looks at me, no words, no emotion, just heavy breathing.
Her: You are so proud that you neglect to see what youve turned me into.
With that she pushes me aside and goes to our room and locks. Sigh.
The next morning, I make us breakfast, its time that we cleared the air. I hear her
footsteps down the stairs. She comes into the kitchen wearing a gown, very short
shorts and small top. My breath hitches in my throat. Damn.
Me: Morning.
Her: Hi.
Me: Come here.
She stands at the doorway and just looks at me.
Me: Mrs Mvelase.
She rolls her eyes and goes to sit on the high chairs. She lays her head on the
kitchen isle. Probably hung over. I finish up and dish for the both of us. I give her
her plate and she just looks at it. I go around and turn the chair around get
inbetween her legs.
Me: Whats happening here?
Her: You tell me? You lie and say youre in Italy when clearly you not? Some
"aquintance" answers your phone and you tell her to hang up? Hee... all I know
that a marriage based on secrets and lies never lasts.
Shes right.
Me: Ill tell you everything on one condition?
Her: Why is there always conditions with you when you have to tell me
something?
I sigh.
Me: Because this time, it will be a test of faith on our marriage.

Breakfast is quiet with me occasionally glancing her way. Maybe I should tell her
through sex. That way she wont be so mad? No. Let me just be straight with her.
Her: You dont trust me or have faith in us.
Where is this coming from?
Me: What?
Her: Is it because Im young, or what?
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: Everything must always start out with drama and lies before you reveal some
truth. Its quite tiring actually.
She stands and makes her way to the sink, but I block her path and take the plate
from her.
Me: Im not the man you think I am
Her: What?
The confusion on her face.
Me: Yeah, Im a drug and diamond smuggler.
She says nothing but shock is written all over her face.
Me: Say something please.
Her: Oh.
Me: Thats it?
She nods. Shes calm, too calm and I dont like it. Anyone else wouldve panicked
and acte differently but not my dear wife.
Me: Baby please... shout, scream, rant just dont be quiet.
Her: I dont have anything to say. Well, except for okay.
Me: Okay? No questions?
Her: Are you alone in this business?
Me: No. Im with my brothers and Nel my friend.
Her: How long?
Me: 10 years
Her: Is the Construction business just a front?
Me: No its legitimate. Started by my father and carried by me.
Her: Is that why you went overseas?
Me: Yes. A deal went bad and I had to fix it.
Her: Are my kids safe?
Me: Always.
She nods and walks away. I dont know what to make of this. Are we okay? Is she
mad? I cant read her emotions and its pissing me off.

~Thando~
Im not sure what to do with the information that Melis just bestowed on me but I
know damn straight that Im not going to leave me. But what baffles me is how
hes been hiding such a huge secret from me for so long? Did he not trust me or
was he scared I was going to freak out and leave? Am I so hard to approach that
he cant confide in me? I mean whats the point of being married if youre going to
keep secrets from the one you claim to love? I dont want to give up on us, but for
him to rather be endangered and die in some foreign country than to come
forward and tell me whats happening? Where does that leave me? Us? How can
we be when we lack whats most important in a relationship, communication?
Something we've struggled with for a while is now going to be the cause of our
downfall. And its not only us anymore, there are kids involved. I have to think for
all of us now. My thoughts are disturbed by the door slowly opening,
Meli: Baby...
I look up.
Him: Talk to me
Me: I think we should get divorced.

Im sleepy so no bonus...
£66
~Thando~
"No".
Me: No?
Him: No. And thats final. Why do you keep running instead of fixing this? Us?
This man is really testing me.
Me: Running? Running? You want to talk about running? Well here is an example,
you! Coming home battered and bruised then running off to another country
without telling me.
Him: I did!
Me: When you were already there! That doesnt count! Tell me, had the plane
crashed bendizothini kumamakho? Huh? Tell me! What would I have possibly said
to your mother? That her son is dead in a foreign country that I know nothing
about? Or does she know about your private business too? What would I have
said to our children? How was I going to explain where their father was and how
he got there? What was I going to say to Ahlumile? What? Tell me! Youre reckless
wena man! Selfish! What about me? How was I going to live with myself knowing
I let you go seeing the state you were in?
Im standing ontop of the bed, screaming at him and hes just standing by the door
with his head hanging.
Me: Im so fucken mad at you right now. For not trusting me enough to let me in
and decide for myself. When you asked for my hand in marriage what was it for?
Here I am, walking proudly with my head held high thinking I know who Im
married to but clearly its some big fat lie! Whats the point of us being together if
you cant lay your life in my hands as I have so gladly laid my life in yours? What is
this? Who are we?
Tears are falling down my face and Im roughly wiping them away with the sleeve
of my gown.
Me: Im so dissapointed in you. Please just... leave me alone... let me be.
I sigh and fall on the bed and just breathe. He comes closer and lays by my side
and takes my hand. Im no longer crying, just quiet and my throat is paining from
screaming and shouting. Felt good but I dont like doing it. I dont want to be
disrespectful towards ny husband.
Me: I was never going to leave, had you been honest with me from the get go.
I snatch my hand away and go to the bathroom, in search of lozenges and to
shower.

~Melisizwe~
Thando comes out wrapped in a towel and goes straight to the closet. I go sit
there on the couch and watch her lotion.
Me: It has nothing to do with trust. I just wanted you to keep living without
subconsciously looking over your shoulder. I wanted you to be young and free,
not worried about who may harm the kids or you.
Her: Or you.
Me: I can protect you. Ive been protecting you. I trust you with my life and soul
baby and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. Youre all I live for. The
smuggling business was something I was sucked into years ago and no matter
how much I try to run from it, it always catches up with me. Im sorry for getting
you into my messy life but you cant leave me. I need you and my kids.
I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her small waist and kiss her on her
bare shoulder. She smells good.
Me: Im sorry and I love you.
She smiles and turns to face me. She wraps her arms around my neck and gives
me a hug, the towel wrapped around her falling to the floor.
Me: Promise you wont leave.
Her: I promise. No more secrets?
Me: No more.
I wrap my arms around her tighter and kiss her some more on her neck.

Wiping my tears, I kiss her on her lips and smile down at her.
Me: Youre quite the drama queen.
Her: You best believe it. Im a mother now and wife, my kids come first.
Me: Haibo! What about me?
Her: You too nje.
I smile and look at her nakedness.
Her: I just showered.
Me: So?
She rolls her eyes and turns around.
Her: You know, when you said, you not the man I think you are, I thought you
were going to say youre gay.
I burst out laughing. Haibo?
Her: You laugh now but I was already panicking, thinking about all the good sex
that was going to go from my life.
Im in stitches. Theres my pinkpuff.
Me: Well... I love your vagina too much to be gay.
Her: Pity, it wouldve explained your obsessive behaviour towards my ass.
I laugh out loud.
Me: Is it wrong of me to wanto explore all your available holes?
She lets out a huge laugh.
Her: Yho!
Me: And besides, theres just something about your ass that makes me lose focus.
I grab her bum and she squeals. With my left hand, I pull her closer to me and
with the other, move it around and play with her nookie. She throws her head
back and moans
Her: Fuck me senseless...
And thats exactly what I intend to do..

~Thando~
Im listening to Melisizwes heart beat and his soft snores. I wonder how he ended
up where he is now? Do I dare to even ask him? To be honest, my life is forever
changed from this point on. I wish I didnt know. But ke nothing stays hidden
forever
Him: Whats wrong baby?
Me: Nothing. Sleep.
Him: Talk to me my angel.
Me: Im scared.
Him: But Im protecting you nje.
Me: Can you let me finish?
He huffs and nods
Me: I dont doubt you protecting us. I have no reason and will never. Im scared for
you. What if something happens to you? I cant lose you baby. Not now, not ever. I
love you madala wam and losing you will be the death of me. Dont make me die
please
Him: Im fine nje.
Me: But whos protecting you?
Him: You!
Me: How?
Him: By praying for me.
I giggle
Me: How do you know I pray for you?
He smiles and shrugs
Him: I can feel it.
I smile and shift to lay on top of him, kissing his torso.
Me: Tell me about yourself
Him: Haibo you know everything about me nje
Me: No. The other guy.
He laughs.
Him: Oh... Hi. Im Danger.
Me: Danger? Why Danger?
Him: Im a loose canon. I act on impulse and anger. Its from my younger days.
When this guy threatened my family and I shot him.
I gasp
Him: On his leg. Knee cap.
He bursts out laughing. I dont know whether to join in or run for the hills.
Laughter wins because I find nyself cracking up.
Me: And I thought Im cray cray!

Im laying on the carpet, eating pizza and drinking wine with my man. Im in
heaven. Mondays events come to mind and I find myself laughing.
Him: Whats funny?
Do I dare tell him? No. Then that will give him good reason for me to stop
working. Nope Ill handle Britney myself.
Him: Im still waiting.
Me: They shouldve called you Killer. Cause you be killing my pussy man! Yhu
uyamtya umntu Melisizwe Mvelase andinabhongo.(You can chow me shame.
Wow!)
He laughs so hard even throwing his head back. Ive never heard Melisizwe laugh
like this and I love it that its me making him laugh like this. Good diversion.
Him: Haibo Pinkpuff?
Me: Yeah. I can still feel you when I sit or walk or laugh. Yho no more. We're going
celibate.
Him: Yhu! Never. Umnandi kangaka(you too delicious)!
I giggle and blush. To think I was about to leave this man not so long ago.
I straddle him and start grinding him.
Him: Youre starting.
Me: Cant I dance for my man?
Him: ooowi! Here comes my rider. By the way you owe me new Jeans.
I stop
Him: Dont stop
Me: No. How many underwears of mine have you torn? Dresses too? Yhuu never!
Him: But I always replace them
Me: Only to rip them apart again.
He chuckles. Then stops and looks me deep in my eyes.
Him: Promise no more running?
Me: No more running.
Him: Pinky swear?
I giggle and lock my pinky with his and nod
Me: Pinky swear.
Him: Good. Now what were you saying about that addictive pussy?
I smile and bite my bottom lip. Make up sex with Melisizwe though..

Good morning...

£67
~Melisizwe~
Its early Sunday morning and I cant sleep. Thandos words haunt me. I couldve
died and she wouldnt have known shit. Or my kids wouldve been kidnapped and
where would that have put us?
Her: Sleep my baby.
I pull her in closer and close my eyes. I really was selfish thus time around. Leaving
her in the dark to face my sins alone. She wouldve hated me for life I know it.
What would she had said to my mother? What would my family have said to her?
Her: Nana wam?
Me: Hmm?
Her: Whats wrong?
Me: Cant sleep. Im thinking about what you said. And Im sorry baby.
Her: Its okay. You had your reasons
Me: But still. Let me make it up to you?
She turns over and lays on my chest
Her: You did. A lot.
I laugh.
Me: Not like that. Like in a proper way. Take you out or something?
Her: You dont have to.
Me: Please.
Her: Okay. Nothing fancy.
Theres silence between us.
Her: Tatabo?
Me: Mm?
Her: Can I ask one last question regarding the other side?
Me: You can ask as many as you like.
Her: Well... do you.. uhm... eish...
Me: Go ahead baby.
Her: I dont know how to ask.
Me: Just say it like it is.
She sighs and kisses my torso. Her soft lips against my hard chest makes me smile.
She kisses where the tattoo is.
Her: Do you have trackers and stuff on me and the kids?
Me: Yes.
She sits up.
Her: Really?
Me: Of course.
Her: On our clothes and stuff.
Me: Uhm... kind of.
Her: oh okay.
Silence. Im sure Thando is veey curious about my other life but doesnt know how
to ask and I dont want her to know too much. It'll cause a rift between us. Ill take
her to Table Mountain for the day and let us enjoy each others company before
going back to work tomorrow. Im so tired, and Thandos sleeping peacefully
beside me.
~Thando~
The time we spend at Table Mountain is phenomonal. He had MiCasa come play
for us and I was beyond happy. I danced with and for him, laughed and just had a
carefree day with my man. It was incredible. Just for today, I wasnt Thando the
mom, or wife, or career woman. I was just me and I loved it. But now its time to
burst the bubble and focus on the now. The life I have. Who knew Id be a
gangsters wife? Hayi my life is just filled with drama and it seems that its not
about to end soon. Meli told me that their mom doesnt know and theyd like to
keep it that way. So I guess it was just me and his mom but not anymore. I look
over to him and think about how far we've come to get where we are and I wish
we could stay like this forever. But life is not set up that way, so its best to enjoy
the highs and deal with the lows. I stretch over and brush his thigh. Taking his
hand, I kiss the back and lay it on my face and close my eyes for a couple of
seconds, inhaling his intoxicating cologne.
Him: Somebody is in love.
Me: I am.
Him: I guess that makes two of us. Only difference is, I keep falling for my person
with everyday that passes.
I blush so hard. How cute. We get home and we're greeted by the boys and
Mam'Thithi.
Me: Hi mamzo.
Her: Hi baby.
Me: Take out okay?
Her: yes yhu!
I giggle and go to the bedroom where I find Melisizwe walking around shirtless. I
go over and kiss hus bare chest. His body just excites me whenever I look at it.
Hes the ultimate dark chocolate dipped in caramel.
Me: Im getting a tattoo on my ass..
Him: Never! Anywhere besides my chowbunnies.
I laugh at the name he uses. What can I do to him? The names though

My phone rings and its Thandiwe. I look over to Meli reading the newspaper.
Grabbing my phone I run to the bathroom and lock.
Me: Mah?
Her: Hey can you talk?
Me: Kancinci.
Her: We're ready to go for next weekend.
Me: Thank you. Ill just need a diversion. How is Blessing and Amor?
Her: They miss you a lot. Oh.. heres Amor.
Amor: Hello sisi.
Me: My baby. My love.
Her: Why dont you come here anymore? Where are the boys?
Me: Ill come tomorrow and bring the boys. They miss you, I miss you so much. I
love you.
Blessing: Love you.
Me: Hey boo. Love you too nana.
Amor: love you too bye. See you tomorrow.
The call cuts and I pee then go back to him.
Him: And then?
Me: Nothing. Just Thandi and the kids. We're sleeping there tomorrow.
He gives me the side eye.
Him: Why?
Me: Haibo? They miss us and I need to talk to Thandi.
Him: About?
I sigh. The interrogation
Me: Life, love, sex, just a mother and daughter bonding session. Ice cream,
cookies, cake, fatty foods.
Him: Mmmm...
He shifts and pins me down on the bed. Him and I are nose to nose.
Him: If you ever cheat on me, Ill kill your lover and lock you in this house. You
hear?
He thinks he frightens me.
Me: Yes Melisizwe.
I say annoyed. Why would I cheat? Thats just unnecessary pressure and Melisizwe
already does me too good and hard.
Him: Im being serious.
Me: I know. You so cute when youre jealous.
I peck him and bite his bottom lip and pull.
Me: Your lips are so soft.
Him: Its because theyre being bitten and sucked and pulled.
Me: Ill stop then.
Him: I didnt say so..
Me: mmmm... suka, uyasinda(move youre heavy)!
Him: No midnight snack?
Me: Yhu. Ha.a no Im beyond tired.
He moves and I curl up and pass out.

Its Wednesday and Im working half day because the boss said so since she was
going to Jhb to submit the audits I had done. My baby calls me
Me: Tatabo?
Him: Come Im waiting.
Me: okay.
I came with him to work this morning. I wish I didnt. I wanted to use today as an
oppotunity to go check on proceedings at his moms house. I walk down stairs and
to his car. He whistles when he sees me and I blush, catwalking towards him.
When I get to him, I spin for him, giving him a full view of what belongs to him.
Him: Damn mamie.
Me: I know. Best be on your best behavious because this booty be driving men
crazy.
He chuckles and pulls me to him. Grabbing my bum, he pins my body on his and
leans in for a kiss.
Him: No one but me gets to taste this. Like you once said, that pussy is mine.
He kisses me so sweetly and pulls away. He smacks my bum, making me yelp and
opens my door. He really is possesive over me, its like Im his favourite drug. He
gets in his side and we drive off.
Him: You hungry?
Me: No.
He gives me the side eye and says nothing. Instead, he kisses my hand and drives
out of Cape Town towards Stellies. And then? We are headed for Helshoogte but
he makes a turn into the forest and drives in. Its quite far and very green and
peaceful, I like it. But in the same note, Im scared. Why is he taking me here. We
stop in the middle of nowhere and he gets out. Another car pulls up behind us
and a dark, buff man dressed in a suit comes out. Melisizwe comes to my side and
opens my door. He bends and changes my heels with sneakers and gives me
headphones.
Him: Lets go.

I dont know what to make of this. Im intimidated by all of this but I have to be
strong. I cant show myself as weak.
Him: Always aim for the head. Its do or die. Kill or be killed. Its that simple.
I huff and lift the heavy gun and aim it at the head of the puppet. One thing runs
through my mind: my kids. I imagine the puppet holding my kids and I just lose it.
Im shooting with focus, with a pang of insanity running through my mind. I dont
dare flinch or blink. Focus and agility.
Him: Baby?
I turn to him
Him: Wow! Ever shot before?
Me: No.
Him: Well that was pro shit.
He picks me up and spins me around. I giggle like a little school girl. The effect he
has on me? Crazy. The other guy is smiling too. Hes so cute. Def hook him up with
Erin. Once he lets go of me I go over to the other guy.
Me: Hi.
Him: Hello Boss Lady.
Me: No, Thando. Not Boss Lady. Not now, not ever.
He smiles and nods
Him: Tido.
I extend my hand and he shakes it.
Me: How long youve known Danger?
He smiles
Him: 5 years.
Me: Wow. So long?
He nods
Me: You married?
The question bursts out of my mouth.
He smiles and shakes his head.
Me: Why?
Him: Uhm... Havent met the right girl.
I nod. Then look over at Meli whos shooting straight with focus.
Me: Wow. So this is what you two do?
He nods
Him: Yes ma'am.
Me: Oh. Here, I want to see you shoot.
He takes the gun and shoots from where we're standing, past Melisizwe onto the
dummy. Im stunned. Melisizwe turns and frowns and I stick my tongue out at him.
He smiles
Tido: In this life, only a few people find true love.
Me: Nope. Only if you let it find you and dont force it, every one can find it.
Him: Not like you two.
Me: We werent like this before. But then, we just let what we feel take over and
thats how we're so happy.
He nods and if Im not mistaken, takes note.

~Melisizwe~
I stretch out my body. Fred is standing high and proud, all thats needed is my
dearest wife. Where is she? I get up and walk to the bathroom, not here. Strange.
The house is so silent. My biggest fear comes to mind and I grab my gun from
under the dressing table and go out. I walk to the kids room, no one. Mam'Thithis
room, no one. I go downstairs and theres not a single soul. But theres a note
'Gone out for ice cream. Didnt wana wake ya. Breakfasts in the micro. We love
you'. Theres also 4 little hands on the paper. How cute.
I call Tido who surprisingly isnt answering. Hee? I call my brothers. They're also
not picking up. The fuck? I sit and eat my breakfast then go upstairs and shower.
When I come out I have 8 missed calls from dad, mom and my brothers. I call dad
Dad: Melisizwe. Get here now.
Me: Whats wrong?
Him: No time to explain. Come now.
He hangs up. Must be hectic. I wear casual clothes and rush home. There are a lot
of cars parked outside. Shit. Did someone die? I run to the front door and open.
Its so beautiful inside. Whats this?
Mama: Melisizwe. Yhu uyalala suka(you can sleep yhu).
Me: Hehake! What did you call me for?
Her: No time to explain go upstairs.
Tido comes through and takes me upstairs
Me: Bra
Him: Boza.
I get into moms room and my brothers pull me in, dressing me into a suit. Its quite
a fight because they are pushing and pulling me. They sit me down and Langa
brushes my beard and combs my hair. Sometimes I think hes gay cause he can
style hair shame.
Me: Whats going on?
Them: No time.
They take me downstairs and we walk through to the outsude area where find a
lot of people seated and looking at me. Theres the pastor there and Khanya and
Kamva standing there too. I stand there too. Wait, is this happening now? Todays
my wedding day?