Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and
subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider
roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your
opinion.
Some people suppose that building train and subway lines is the best way to reduce jams,
while others believe building new roadways plays a significant role. This essay will discuss
reasons for both views.
It is strongly advised that many civilizations use public transportation to get around. The
subway is by far the most popular mode of transportation for people since not only do they
save money, but they also arrive on time because there are no vehicles beneath. Another
advantage is that if society uses the metro, air pollution will decrease; in other words, the
huge number of cars on the road requires fuel, and carbon dioxide emissions have
increased. As a result, when governments invest in underground lines, the public gains
access to the majority of destinations. although the subway provides many benefits, some
people prefer to drive their own automobiles.
The number of roads in a city is inversely proportional to the number of choices available to
commuters. Some communities are believed to use single-occupancy cars, but this leads to
traffic. Authorities are supposed to build new roadways in the urban area, as well as
underpasses and overpasses. Unfortunately, inadequate roadway capacity also causes
heavy traffic jams in the city center. Another thought for this idea relates to the convenience
of citizens. More ways means individuals have more choices for their trip, so they will not
come into some uncomfortable situations.
In conclusion, both solutions are necessary and mutually beneficial. However, my point of
view is that building more metro lines is better than building new roads.
Nâng cấp lập luận
Introduction: Some people suppose that building train and subway lines is the best way to
reduce jams, while others believe building new roadways plays a significant role. This essay
will discuss reasons for both views.
Feedback for Introduction:
Clear Position: The introduction lacks a clear position on which method is better for
reducing traffic congestion. It mentions that both views will be discussed, but it does not
indicate a personal stance. To improve clarity, consider stating your opinion explicitly, such
as "While both building train and subway lines and expanding roadways have their
advantages, I believe that investing in public transportation is the more effective solution for
reducing traffic congestion."
Relevance: The introduction is relevant to the essay question as it sets up the debate
between building train and subway lines versus building new roadways to reduce traffic
congestion. However, it could be more specific in outlining the main arguments that will be
discussed.
Brief Overview: The introduction could be enhanced by providing a brief overview of the
main arguments that will be discussed. For example, "This essay will explore the benefits of
building train and subway lines, such as reduced air pollution and increased efficiency, as
well as the advantages of expanding roadways, including increased accessibility and
convenience. It will then argue that while both approaches have their merits, investing in
public transportation is the more effective long-term solution for reducing traffic congestion."
Improved Introduction: The debate over how to effectively reduce traffic congestion in
urban areas is a pressing one, with some advocating for the construction of train and
subway lines, while others propose expanding roadways. This essay will delve into the
advantages and disadvantages of both approaches, ultimately arguing that investing in
public transportation is the more effective strategy for mitigating traffic congestion.
Main Point 1: It is strongly advised that many civilizations use public transportation to get
around. The subway is by far the most popular mode of transportation for people since not
only do they save money, but they also arrive on time because there are no vehicles
beneath. Another advantage is that if society uses the metro, air pollution will decrease; in
other words, the huge number of cars on the road requires fuel, and carbon dioxide
emissions have increased. As a result, when governments invest in underground lines, the
public gains access to the majority of destinations.
Feedback for Main Point 1:
Argumentative Logic: The argument effectively highlights the benefits of using public
transportation, particularly the subway, in reducing traffic congestion and air pollution. The
logical connection between the use of public transportation and its positive impacts on traffic
and environmental issues is well-established.
Overgeneralizations: The statement that the subway is "by far the most popular mode of
transportation" might be an overgeneralization. While the subway is a popular mode of
transportation in many cities, its popularity can vary depending on the city and the context.
Acknowledging this variability would provide a more nuanced view.
Relevance and Effectiveness of Supporting Ideas: The supporting ideas are relevant and
effectively illustrate the benefits of public transportation. The mention of cost savings and
punctuality is particularly effective in highlighting the practical advantages of using the
subway. However, the argument could be strengthened by discussing how these benefits
translate into broader societal impacts, such as reduced traffic congestion and improved air
quality.
Unclear or Ambiguous Expressions: The expression "the huge number of cars on the
road requires fuel, and carbon dioxide emissions have increased" is somewhat vague.
Clarifying this to specify that the increased number of cars leads to increased fuel
consumption and emissions would improve clarity.
Unwarranted Assumptions: The argument assumes that the subway is the most effective
solution for reducing traffic congestion and air pollution without considering other factors
such as the availability of subway systems in different cities or the feasibility of expanding
subway networks.
Overly Assertive Language: The use of phrases like "by far the most popular mode of
transportation" and "will decrease" could be softened to acknowledge that while the subway
is a popular choice, its effectiveness can vary depending on the context. Phrases like "can
significantly reduce" or "has the potential to" would provide a more balanced perspective.
Overall Evaluation: Well Extended and Supported
Suggestions for Improvement:
Detail the Broader Impacts: Expand on how the use of public transportation, particularly
the subway, impacts not only traffic congestion but also broader societal issues like urban
planning, economic development, and environmental sustainability.
Introduce Counterpoints: Consider discussing potential limitations or challenges
associated with relying heavily on the subway, such as the high upfront costs of building and
maintaining subway systems or the need for extensive infrastructure development.
Clarify and Specify: Improve the clarity of expressions by specifying the mechanisms
through which the subway reduces traffic congestion and air pollution. For example, discuss
how the subway reduces the number
Task Response
Band Score for Task Response: 7
Answer All Parts of the Question:
Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the best approach to
reduce traffic congestion, discussing the merits of building train and subway lines as well as
the construction of more roads. The first paragraph effectively introduces the topic and
outlines the two perspectives. However, the discussion of the second viewpoint regarding
road construction is less developed, lacking specific examples or detailed reasoning. The
conclusion reiterates the author's opinion but does not fully encapsulate the discussion of
both views.
How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should provide a more balanced
exploration of both perspectives. This could involve adding specific examples or statistics
related to the effectiveness of road construction in reducing congestion, as well as a more
thorough analysis of the drawbacks of each approach. Additionally, the conclusion could
summarize the key points made in the essay to reinforce the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of building more metro
lines, particularly in the conclusion. However, the clarity of this position could be improved
throughout the essay. While the author states their opinion, the supporting arguments for this
stance are somewhat scattered and could be more explicitly linked back to the thesis.
How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the author should consistently refer back to
their main argument in each paragraph. This could be achieved by using transitional phrases
that connect the discussion of each viewpoint back to the thesis. Additionally, reinforcing the
advantages of metro lines in relation to the drawbacks of road construction would strengthen
the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of public
transportation and the drawbacks of single-occupancy vehicles. However, the development
of these ideas is uneven. The discussion on public transportation is more robust, while the
arguments for road construction are less detailed and lack supporting evidence. For
instance, the mention of "inadequate roadway capacity" is vague and could benefit from
further elaboration.
How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim
to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. This could include
citing studies or real-world examples that illustrate the effectiveness of public transportation
versus road expansion. Additionally, using data or expert opinions could lend credibility to
the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the two approaches to
reducing traffic congestion. However, there are moments where the focus could be
sharpened. For example, the phrase "more ways means individuals have more choices for
their trip" is somewhat vague and does not directly relate to the main argument about traffic
congestion.
How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every sentence
contributes directly to the discussion of traffic congestion solutions. Avoiding vague
statements and instead providing clear, relevant examples will help keep the essay on track.
Additionally, outlining the main points in the introduction and referring back to them in the
body paragraphs can help maintain coherence and relevance throughout the essay.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a
clear opinion, there are areas for improvement in the depth of analysis, clarity of position,
and support for ideas. By addressing these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band
score in the Task Response criteria.
Coherence & Cohesion
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Organize Information Logically:
Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction
that outlines the two perspectives on reducing traffic congestion. The body paragraphs are
dedicated to discussing the advantages of both public transportation (subways) and road
expansion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from
discussing subways to roads is somewhat abrupt, lacking a clear connection that would
guide the reader through the argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the
discussion and presents the writer's opinion, but it could be more explicitly linked to the
arguments made in the body.
How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use transitional phrases
to better connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of
subways, a sentence like "On the other hand, some argue that expanding road infrastructure
is equally important" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensuring that each
paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea would help in
guiding the reader through the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas,
with one paragraph focusing on subways and another on roads. However, the paragraphs
could be more developed. The first paragraph discussing subways contains several ideas
but lacks depth in analysis. The second paragraph on roads introduces several points but
does not fully explore them, leading to a somewhat superficial treatment of the topic.
How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear topic sentence followed by
supporting sentences that elaborate on the main idea. For instance, the paragraph on
subways could include more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made
about air pollution and efficiency. Similarly, the paragraph on roads could benefit from a
more detailed exploration of how road expansion might alleviate traffic congestion, perhaps
by discussing specific types of road improvements.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "as
a result," and "another advantage," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of
cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a more varied
vocabulary to enhance cohesion. For example, the phrase "on the other hand" could be
used to introduce contrasting ideas more effectively.
How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a
wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using phrases like "in contrast,"
"furthermore," or "conversely" can help to clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally,
using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can improve
the flow of the essay. For example, instead of repeating "the subway," the writer could use
"this mode of transport" in subsequent references.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents
coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph development, and the
use of cohesive devices would enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
Lexical Resource
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with
terms such as "traffic congestion," "public transportation," and "air pollution." However, the
vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety, with phrases like "building train and subway lines"
and "new roadways" being repeated without variation. Additionally, words like "civilizations"
and "communities" could be more precisely chosen to enhance clarity and impact.
How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or related
terms. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "building," you might use "constructing,"
"developing," or "establishing." Similarly, instead of "roadways," you could use
"thoroughfares," "highways," or "infrastructure." Expanding your vocabulary through reading
and practice will help you express ideas more dynamically.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are
instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the number of roads in a city is
inversely proportional to the number of choices available to commuters" is mathematically
incorrect and confusing in this context. The term "civilizations" is also vague and does not
accurately convey the intended meaning of "societies" or "populations."
How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects your intended meaning.
For instance, clarify the relationship between roads and commuter choices with a more
straightforward statement, such as "An increase in roadways can lead to more travel options
for commuters." Additionally, ensure that terms are contextually appropriate; replacing
"civilizations" with "societies" or "urban populations" would enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with only
minor errors. However, there are instances where spelling could be improved, such as
"automobiles" (though technically correct, "cars" would be more common in this context) and
"inadequate roadway capacity also causes heavy traffic jams" where "roadway" could be
better expressed as "road capacity."
How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading
strategy. After writing, take a moment to read through your essay carefully, checking for any
potential spelling errors. Additionally, practicing spelling common vocabulary words and
using tools like spell check can help reinforce correct spelling in your writing.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents
coherent arguments, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will contribute to a
higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures,
including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "not only...
but also" in the sentence "not only do they save money, but they also arrive on time"
showcases an effective complex structure that enhances the argument. However, there are
instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph where similar
sentence beginnings are used, such as "Another advantage is that..." and "As a result...".
This can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more
varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences
with "Another advantage is that...", the writer could use alternatives like "In addition to this,"
or "Furthermore," to introduce new ideas. Additionally, varying the length and complexity of
sentences can help maintain reader interest and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy,
with few errors that do not impede understanding. However, there are some grammatical
inaccuracies, such as "the subway is by far the most popular mode of transportation for
people since not only do they save money, but they also arrive on time because there are no
vehicles beneath." The phrase "because there are no vehicles beneath" is somewhat
unclear and could be misinterpreted. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances
where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "but" in compound sentences.
How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay attention to
clarity and precision in phrasing. For example, rephrasing the unclear part to "because there
are fewer vehicles on the road" would improve clarity. Additionally, reviewing the rules for
comma usage in complex sentences can help improve punctuation skills. Practicing
sentence combining exercises could also aid in developing a more nuanced understanding
of when to use commas effectively.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy,
focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help
elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài chữa tham khảo
Some people believe that constructing train and subway lines is the most effective way to
alleviate traffic congestion, while others argue that building new roadways is more beneficial.
This essay will discuss the reasons for both perspectives.
It is widely recommended that many societies utilize public transportation to navigate their
cities. The subway is, by far, the most popular mode of transport for commuters, as it not
only saves money but also ensures timely arrivals due to the absence of surface traffic.
Another advantage of using the metro is the reduction in air pollution; in other words, the
large number of cars on the road consumes fuel, leading to increased carbon dioxide
emissions. Consequently, when governments invest in underground transit systems, the
public gains access to a majority of destinations. Although the subway offers numerous
benefits, some individuals still prefer to drive their own vehicles.
The number of roads in a city is often inversely related to the options available for
commuters. Some communities are known for their reliance on single-occupancy vehicles,
which contributes to traffic congestion. Authorities are encouraged to construct new
roadways in urban areas, as well as underpasses and overpasses. Unfortunately, insufficient
roadway capacity can also lead to severe traffic jams in the city center. Another argument in
favor of this approach relates to the convenience for citizens. More roads mean individuals
have greater choices for their journeys, helping them avoid uncomfortable situations.
In conclusion, both solutions are essential and can complement one another. However, in
my opinion, building more metro lines is a more effective strategy than expanding road
networks.
Từ vựng tham khảo
Word Meaning and Example
congestion (Tắc nghẽn) A condition in which a space is
overcrowded or blocked, especially in the
context of traffic. Example: The city faces
severe _______ during rush hours due to
inadequate transit options.
Word Meaning and Example
infrastructure (Cơ sở hạ tầng) The fundamental facilities
and systems serving a country, city, or
area, including transportation. Example:
Investing in public _______ is crucial for
sustainable urban development.
alleviate (Giảm bớt) To make or ease a problem or
burden. Example: New subway lines could
help _______ the worsening traffic situation
in major cities.
urbanization (Đô thị hóa) The increasing population in
urban areas, leading to heightened demand
for infrastructure. Example: Rapid _______
has resulted in greater traffic challenges
that need urgent solutions.
accessibility (Khả năng tiếp cận) The quality of being
easy to reach or use. Example: Enhanced
public transport can improve _______ for
residents in outlying neighborhoods.
expenditure (Chi tiêu) The action of spending funds or
resources. Example: Government _______
on transport networks can significantly
impact overall economic growth.
efficiency (Hiệu quả) The ability to achieve a desired
result without wasted energy or effort.
Example: Upgrading rail systems can lead
to increased _______ in public
transportation.
proliferation (Sự gia tăng) Rapid increase or spread of
something. Example: The _______ of cars
in urban areas contributes to severe traffic
problems.
viability (Khả thi) The ability of something to work
successfully or be feasible. Example:
Assessing the _______ of new rail projects
is essential for future urban planning.
Word Meaning and Example
alternative (Lựa chọn thay thế) One of two or more
available possibilities. Example: Building
more trains should be considered as a
viable _______ to expanding road
networks.
