Devil Spice

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/22723567.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The
Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Relationships: Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Wei Ying / Lan Zhan, WangXian -
Relationship
Characters: Wei Wuxian, Wei Ying, Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng, Junior
Trio!, Jin Ling, Sizhui, Jingyi - Character
Additional Tags: MDZS Valentines Day Exchange, Smut in the beginning!, 0-100, I've
never participated in these gift exchanges before so forgive me if my
formatting is odd
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2020-02-15 Words: 7,746 Chapters: 1/1
 Devil Spice
by gaylor_moonchies

Summary

The Junior trio, the Yiling Patriarch and one half of the Jade Twins meet up for a New Years
Dinner at the Lotus Pier with our lovely purple Sect Leader Jiang Cheng

What could possibly go wrong?

Notes

This fic is for the MDZS Valentines Day Gift Exchange. Dedicated to Sydney <3. I hope I
was able to bring your wish list to life, even if it was only for a moment!

See the end of the work for more notes

Wei Wuxian sunk further into the tub until only his eyes remained above water level. He had
been soaking for about half an hour now, but the muscles in his thighs and the very tender
ones in his bottom were still too sore to leave the comforting confines of the bath.

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian’s bloodshot eyes acknowledged his husband, who was still situated at his table
with a stack of papers in front of him.

“Are you ready to come out? The water must be cold.”

Wei Wuxian sat back up and took a big gulp of air once he surfaced. The water was getting
cold, but he was still too sore to move.

“Hanguang Jun you beast,” Wei Wuxian whined. “Look what you’ve done to me! I’m a
ruined man, no one in the village will have me! How far will you go to embarrass me?!”

The beast in question sighed. “Wei Ying. We’re married.”

“And I’m still sore!” he pouted. “I’ll need a metal rod to beat out all these aches.”

With a shake of his head, Lan Wangji rose from his chair and came around to the small table
beside the tub. He had personally seen to it that it was stacked high with Wei Ying’s favorite
scents of soap and oils, and with a quick moment to consider his options, he had gathered
three vials of oils and heated them up in the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry, Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji began pouring oil into his cupped palms before
continuing, “The juniors will be home for the holiday and we may not have much time
together. I was overzealous.”
With newly heated and slick hands, Lan Wangji went to work at the base of his husband’s
neck. Without further prompting, Wei Wuxian’s head lolled forward and his eyes fluttered
shut, visualizing each knot being rubbed away to nothingness as Lan Zhan’s strength molded
his muscles back into place.

“It’s alright,” Wei Wuxian sighed blissfully. “But it’s funny that you think just because the
kids are home means that I won’t get to have sex with my husband.”

Three years of marriage and over fifteen years of longing for him, Lan Wangji still found it
surprising just how shameless his husband could be.

“So you agree then? Everyday is everyday.”

Wei Wuxian suddenly felt like the kinks in his shoulders that had just been massaged out
spontaneously grew back at the sound of that cursed phrase.

Three years of marriage, and over fifteen years of pining after him, Wei Wuxian still found it
surprising just how shady his husband could be.

“…no further comment.”

“Mn.”

Lower and lower the magical pair of hands drifted, until Lan Zhan finally found the spot
where Wei Wuxian was feeling the most discomfort.

“Aaahhhh,” he winced. “Softer, please Lan Zhan…it’s still sore.”

Lan Wangji pulled back his hands to apply more oil, heating them with the energy of his core
before going back over the skin to do gentler, circular rubs on Wei Ying’s lower back. He
tried his best not to be too forceful with his pressure right away, and instead worked to
accustom the over sensitized area with his strokes.

“Breathe,” he ordered. Sometimes when Wei Ying would get too lost in pleasure, his cheeks
and chest would redden under stress — he would literally be too out of it to simply breathe,
and Lan Wangji had had to remind him on several occasions.

“You have to breathe through it Wei Ying. It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

Wei Wuxian prayed to Mo Xuanyu, wherever his blessed spirit may be, asking the poor and
demented soul why he never bothered to dedicate his body in daily stretches. This body was
only 24 years old but it felt like it was on the cusp of a 104, cricketing as loud as a broken
door and aching harshly like a fresh punch to the gut with every simple movement.

It took some time, but eventually Wei Wuxian didn’t squirm under Lan Zhan’s hands. The
muscle aches slowly diminished, until he was left a sitting pile of goo. Still, even when it was
clear that Wei Wuxian was feeling better, Lan Wangji’s hands didn’t stop. Instead, they
curiously found themselves wandering lower and lower, until Lan Wangji himself had his
chin resting on his husband’s shoulder, both hands well below the original area of complaint.

“Lan Zhaaan!” Pathetic whimpers filled his senses and Lan Wangji teased the soft head
between Wei Ying’s thighs.

Wei Wuxian leaned his head back, connecting with Lan Zhan’s shoulders until they were
locked in a backwards hug. His own arms came above his head to hook around his husband’s
neck, acting as an anchor to keep Lan Zhan still and steady.

“Lan Zhan…please…harder…”

Lan Wangji could only obey, nibbling sweetly on the soft skin of Wei Ying’s throat, his grip
tightened and he pumped his fist faster and harder, over and over until the vigorous motion
sent water splashing out of the tub, even soaking his own robes and trousers. He couldn’t find
it in him to care as Wei Ying’s head thrashed in place, his thighs nearly clenching shut as
ways to escape the intensity and somewhat discomfort of his sharp oncoming orgasm.
“Open.” Lan Wangji commanded.

His right hand stopped at the base of Wei Ying’s cock, teasingly pulsing around him with
punishing grips, while his left hand roamed upwards, cupping his husband’s right cheek in his
wet and damp hand.

“No no no no no no no why’d you stop?” Wei Wuxian whimpered.

“I won’t repeat myself again. Open.”

Wei Wuxian pouted and spread his legs as wide as they would go, hooking the back of his
knees outside of the tub altogether to give his husband as much of himself as he could offer.

“Lan Zhan…please.”

Wei Wuxian was awarded for his politeness with another series of strokes. Lan Wangji started
off slow, but his grip around the thickness was stern. Wei Wuxian let out a pitiful moan and
he was thoroughly worked over, a burn in the lower edge of his belly beginning to blaze
brighter and hotter with each passing of Lan Zhan’s hands.

He hated being edged more than anything, but the release was always so sweet. In the midst
of his chaotic desire to cum, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help the movement in his hips, shallow
thrusts at first until it got too out of hand and he went for quicker, sharper hits. Lan Wangji
felt it humorous just how impatient his Wei Ying could be, in all things in their shared life,
but even in the bedroom.

“Stay still or I’ll stop.” he muttered softly, unhurriedly.

Wei Wuxian felt like he could cry.

“Lan Zhan,” he gasped. “You’re so mean to me! Is this how you’ll treat me for the rest of our
lives together? Ahhhh!!!!!!….Is this how…is this what I have to look forward to? You’re so
cruel! You’re so cruel!”

“You’re only making this worse for yourself.” Lan Wangji sighed.

His pace had not changed in the slightest. Up, down, up, a swirl of the wrist around the head
and repeat. Up, down, up, a swirl of the wrist around the head and repeat. Wei Ying’s head
thumped down on his shoulder over and over again as if the extra movement would convince
him to do more. But nothing changed.

Wei Wuxian had built himself up, and now he was so so so close, the back of his eyelids
were burning a scalding white, and he could almost taste himself on his tongue with how
thick and hot the atmosphere was. Wei Wuxian’s legs began to shake, causing gentle splashes
of water to caress his nipples in a mind numbing contrast to the bite of his husband’s wicked
hands, pinching and rolling and tugging on his nubs like he was nothing more than a ball of
clay.

“Lan Zhan!” he yelped, eyes squeezing shut to block out the pounding of his heart in his
brain “I’m going to…can I…will you please…let me?!”

“Release.” Lan Wangji said gently, kissing the corner of his husband’s mouth. “I did not say
you needed permission.”

Lan Zhan’s controlling and somewhat condescending nature had him whimpering through his
orgasm. Wei Wuxian even went so far as to clench his own fists in the material of his
husband’s soaking wet sleeve, his grip and silent scream of release a tall sign of his
overbearing ecstasy.

At the sight of him trembling so viciously, Lan Wangji’s grip tightened almost painfully so,
but he dutifully kept stroking until the veins of his arms and the veins of his husband’s cock
bulged in over exertion.

Kisses and nibbles brought Wei Wuxian back to consciousness.

“Hmmm…” he panted. “Lan Zhan?”

His loving husband had already somehow cleaned his bottom half and drained the tub. Lan
Zhan’s chest was bare, and when he leaned down to scoop Wei Wuxian’s shaking body into
his arms, he was left with a direct view of their matching Wen Sect tattoos. He gently placed
his lips over the scar, and cuddled closer into the warmth and sturdiness of Lan Zhan’s chest.

With his husband tucked away in his embrace, Lan Wangji gently maneuvered around the
room until he arrived at the bed. Once Wei Ying had been placed down on the soft bedding,
Lan Wangji quickly tossed a single white undershirt over his shoulders, before tucking him
away into the layers of blankets and pillows.

“Lan Zhan? You’re not coming back to bed?”

Lan Wangji pecked Wei Wuxian’s already drooping eyelids.

“I’m going to greet the juniors at the docks with Sect Leader Jiang. You just rest until you’re
ready.”

Well…who was Wei Wuxian to look this handsome gift horse in the mouth?

He yawned and nodded, turning to kiss the side of Lan Zhan’s palm that was caressing his
cheek.

“Mkay…see you later…don’t let me sleep too long, okay?”

“Mn. Sleep well.”

“You spoil him too much,” Jiang Cheng scolded. “If you keep doing that he’ll eventually start
to ask you to do everything for him.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” Lan Wangji said honestly. “He never asks for what I cannot provide.”

“Whatever you say, Hanguang Jun.”

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s relationship had suffered quite a bit, compared to what it used
to be and what it could have been. Years and years of misunderstandings and ill placed blame
led them to be courteous and diplomatic with one another, but for the longest time neither of
them could stand to be around the other for a long period of time.

But as they say; Time (and jars upon jars of Emperor’s Smile) heals all wounds. It was Jiang
Cheng that had extended the olive branch first, an offer to have dinner together in the Lotus
Halls they had once called home — and as to be expected, it went as terrible as possible. Wei
Wuxian still had the scar in his forearm where Jiang Cheng had stabbed him, and Jiang
Cheng would occasionally be found limping since Wei Wuxian had cracked one of his knees
in half.

It was a messy first attempt at rekindling a once loud and obnoxious relationship, but the road
to recovery is not always as clean cut as one may hope. Lan Wangji was only relieved that
after so many messy second, third, and even seventh attempts: they could all manage to be
within the same property without wanting to stab each other or dislocate other’s joints. It
would never be the same as it once was, but neither of the Yunmeng prides would have done
anything different, and that’s just the cards they were dealt.

“They should be here already. I got word back from the vendors that they’re just screwin
around till we show up.”

Lan Wangji only nodded slightly, Sect Leader Jiang’s natural drawl of his home’s dialect was
almost a foreign language to his ears. Wei Ying always spoke in the same way, but he had
always managed to remain inclusive, teaching Lan Wangji what he could understand of
‘slang’. It was quite interesting, the Yunmeng Jiang clan had their own ways of speaking like
every other clan does, but to Lan Wangji their dialect would always be the most beautiful.
Perhaps he might be a little biased, but no one needs to know that.

True to the word of the streets, the juniors were nowhere near their docked ferry. Lan
Wangji’s eyes zoned in on the anchoring rope, visions flashing before his eyes of Wei Ying,
naked as the day he was born, completely bound and tied on the bed with a rope of similar
thickness.

“Why are you staring at the boat like that?” Jiang Cheng frowned.

With a loud clearing of his throat, Lan Wangji swept his sleeves and hastily walked away
before Sect Leader Jiang could bother repeating his question.

“Okay…” Jiang Cheng winced. “Clearly do not want to know.”

Lan Wangji wasn’t supposed to have heard those words, but his sharp senses couldn’t help it,
especially when the lobes of his ears were already tinting into a bright shade of peachy pink.

Jiang Cheng felt like the atmosphere had definitely changed and not in the progressive
friendly way, but more so in a ‘let’s get this over with so I can curl up in a corner and die’
type of way. He side stepped Lan Wangji completely and immediately walked up to a familiar
old man that sold pork jerky and sun-dried tomatoes.

“Uncle,” he greeted politely. “Have you seen Jin Ling and the other Lan boys he came with?
They came off of that ferry.” he pointed in the direction of the small boat, but did not have
the courage or the stomach to glance at it again.

“Aaahh Young Master Jin? He went to show the other boys how to cast fishing nets. They
went towards Madam Fue’s store.”

“Thank you Uncle. Please have a few bags of pork jerky packed and sent to Lotus Cove, my
nephew has a canine that loves salted meat.”
“At once, Sect Leader! Thank you for your business!”

At the sound of the canine, Lan Wangji couldn’t help but remember his poor husband. It
wasn’t a secret that Wei Ying was terrified of dogs, but he was trying his best to put up with
Fairy since it was his nephew’s beloved companion. They had worked through some of their
discomforts together, but the more time that passed without much improvement on Wei
Ying’s behalf, the more Lan Wangji grew genuinely concerned.

“Hanguang Jun? Hanguang Jun? Did you hear what I said?”

Lan Wangji shook himself free of his thoughts and turned his attention to the Sect Leader that
had been trying to get his attention for a few seconds.

“Apologies, I did not. What is it?”

“You reminded Wei Wuxian that Fairy is coming, right?”

“Mn. He knows that where Jin Ling goes, Fairy goes.”

“That’s good, I was worrie-…ahem. That’s good.”

If Lan Wangji had less control of his facial features, his eyebrows surely would have shot to
his hairline.

“Whatever you say, Sect Leader.”

It was times like these that Jiang Cheng wished Lan Wangji would stay true to his image and
not make jokes. With a flushed face, he stormed off in the direction of Madam Fue’s store, a
smug and satisfied Lan Wangji in tow.
The people of Lotus Pier seemed to be aware that the Young Master had returned. Fellowship
was spread throughout the markets, people greeted their Sect Leader and Second Master Lan
with smiles and waves, wishing them good health and prosperous cultivation for the New
Year. When the duo finally made it to the final store at the end of the docks, they could see
the faint outline of the three teenagers beyond the storefront, huddling together close to the
water.

“Sect Leader Jiang! I figured it was only a matter of time before you showed up!”

Jiang Cheng bowed to greet his Aunt Fue, clutching her small and wrinkled hand in his own.

“Aunty Fue, I’m sorry to trouble you with the boys. Have they been polite?”

“Pah! Don’t you worry another second! The boys were heaven sent- they hauled in all 10 of
my traps for me. This old woman hadn’t need to lift a finger all day!”

“Aunty Fue,” Jiang Cheng sighed. “I told you that I would send help whenever you need it,
but why has it come to my attention that you haven’t requested for anything?”

“I’m old not immobile!” Aunty Fue chuckled. “I will work until I am unable to. And maybe
I’ll give you a holler.”

Lan Wangji often envied the people of the Lotus Pier. There was a clear difference in class
here, not only in physicality but socially, politically, financially, spiritually — to all others it
would be clear that was a definite divide between Sect Leader and store owner. But the
people here in Lotus Pier were truly a family, speaking to each other with such sincerity that
could only be obtained by daily interactions and supporting one another as real families tend
to do.

If Lan Wangji had gone to any store front in Gusu, most of them would kowtow and race to
scrub the bottom of his boots as if he were a god and not a simple man that required loquats
and tangerines like everyone else. It was touching to see such a different spectrum in
Yunmeng. There was clear respect for the Sect Leader and his status, but in a relaxed and
comfortable way that promoted genuine kindness between the two partnerships.

“And you’ve bought Second Master Lan! Have you eaten, Master Lan?”

“Madam Fue, it is a pleasure to meet you,” Lan Wangji bowed. “Yes, I have eaten. Thank you
for your concerns.”

Aunty Fue smiled, placing her palms gently before her on the table. “You two go on ahead.
The boys are fishing right now, Master Jin is in the mood to eat crabs for dinner tonight.”

“I’ll pay for any nets they’re using and anything they damage.” Jiang Cheng sighed
hopelessly.

“Hahaha, have faith Sect Leader Jiang! What could they break out there-”

Crrreeeeeeaaakkkk!

As if set up by some cruel and lame god in the heavens, as soon as Aunty Fue had spoken in
their favor, one of the boys had lost control of their footing and leaned too far over the docks,
slipping into the water and taking down several bamboo fishing poles that had been caught in
his sleeves. Fairy’s barks filled the air like an alarm, and Jiang Cheng placed his head down
on the table so that he could focus on breathing.

Aunty Fue cupped her cheek in the palm of her hand. “Perhaps a small donation will suffice.”

“You idiots are something else, you know that?” Jiang Cheng scolded.
Jin Ling stood tall with his stubborn arms tucked firmly on his stubborn chest while his legs
were in that stupid stubborn pose. Fairy sat by his side, tail wagging happily as she watched
her loved ones around her.

“I’m so sorry Sect Leader Jiang. We will pay you back for the damages done today.” Sizhui
vowed. “And Hanguang Jun, it was embarrassing to show this side of ourselves to you. We
apologize.”

Lan Wangji let out a soft sigh. “What’s done is done. Punishments will be handled at a later
time. But we should head back before Jingyi catches a cold.”

“Ah — don’t worry about me Hanguang Jun!” Jingyi boasted, clenched fists resting on his
hips. “I might be soaking wet, but I don’t feel a thing! I feel great!”

Jiang Cheng felt like he had just aged twenty years.

“Okay — we’re gonna play a game.” he proposed. “From here until Lotus Cove, nobody says
a damn word. You talk, you’re out of the game. Make sense?”

Jiang Cheng left no room for negotiations, quickly heading off in the direction of his home.
Jingyi and Sizhui both shouldered the few nets full of lobsters and crabs, before hurrying
after their host and Hanguang Jun. Jin Ling and Fairy pulled up the rear, and of course, Jin
Ling couldn’t help but poke fun at his Uncle.

“What’s the prize if you win the game?”

“You can keep your kneecaps!” Jiang Cheng replied with a smile.

“…”

From his side, Fairy let out a whimper.

“What are you whining about, silly girl? He’d never take your knees out.” Jin Ling scratched
the top of her head lovingly to dispel her of her worries. “Mine on the other hand…”

Lan Wangji’s eyes softened. It wasn’t the most traditional of relationships, but it was much
more fun and dare he say, much more healthier than the types of relationships he had with his
own parents.

YunmengJiang Sect was a true family indeed.

———

Later in the evening, Lotus Cove finally came to life.

All servants and maids were bustling about the cabin doors of the eating hall, preparing the
tables for a small feast. The cooks clamored over each other to bake, broil and beat their own
dishes into perfection, while the maids made quick work of the red charms, lanterns, and
other decorations to hang.

Jiang Cheng swept through the place once to check on everything, paying a special visit to
the head chef on his way out.

“Sect Leader? Is there a specific dish you’d like on the menu tonight?” The cook asked.

“No no, what we discussed is still good,” Jiang Cheng reassured. “I just wanted to give you a
warning.”

“A…a warning?” Beads of sweat would have almost been obviously visible to the naked eye
had the poor chef not been wearing a protective hat on the top of his head.
“Yes. Wei Wuxian is going to come here to try and cook something for the Juniors. If he gets
that far, either two things will happen: Option 1: he burns down the entirety of my house. An
ideal situation.”

“…”

“Option 2: His cooking kills everyone, not the ideal situation. So by all means necessary,
even if you have to immobilize him, do not let him cook. Are we clear?”

“…”

“Are we clear?!”

“…S-Sect Leader Jiang, I’m a mere chef! I don’t have the skill nor do I have the nerve to
stop a brilliant Master like Master Wei! Can the good Sect Leader just advise him for me?
You two are of same status-”

“I’m trying to keep the peace here!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “If Wei Wuxian finds out I’m
keeping him out of the kitchen, he’ll get sensitive and shut down!”

The sweating chef had no choice but to nod along with his delirious explanation, feeling his
own heartstrings snap in pity for himself.

“I understand Sect Leader. This lowly cook will try his best to appease everyone.”

“That’s all I ask,” Jiang Cheng said with a nod. “Now, I’ll be on my way. If things get out of
hand, be sure to alert me right away.”

When the kitchen doors closed behind him, the chef collapsed to a nearby stool, stirring the
concern and panic of his students and helpers.
“Chef? What’s the matter?! Has Sect Leader changed the menu?!”

“Chef? Can I get you some water?”

“Chef! Look! The apples are boiling!”

“Enough- all of you. Come close, I have a very important mission for us tonight courtesy of
the Sect Leader.”

All the junior apprentice chefs froze in place, waiting for their orders. The head chef took a
deep breath and exhaled slowly, pushing out all the negativity in his body.

“We need talismans. As many as we can afford - bar these doors and don’t let anybody in!”

—————

“Huh. Weird.” Wei Wuxian hummed.

He gave another push on the kitchen doors, but it didn’t budge at all. The resistance was
strange, and very unevenly balanced. There were some areas of the door that were giving
way, while there were some areas that weren’t able to move at all.

Wei Wuxian decided to just go with the diplomatic route and pounded heavily on the door.

“Head Chef!? It’s me, Wei Wuxian…I was just wondering if I could use your kitchen for
something? It won’t take too long to make, and I swear that I’ll clean up after myself!”
Silence answered his questions. Wei Wuxian pouted, pushing once more on the doors but to
no avail.

“Hello?! Is anybody back there?” He called out.

After another five minutes of this useless pushing and asking the Chef to please open the
door, Wei Wuxian left.

The kitchen staff must be out getting groceries or something Wei Wuxian thought. But why
would they lock the door like that?

With a shrug, Wei Wuxian collected the basket of chili peppers he had left on the floor before
carrying on his way back to his room.

Once the Master’s footsteps had gotten too far for anyone to hear, the entirety of the kitchen
staff collapsed against each other in relief.

“Chef, I feel like a bully,” one of the assistants mentioned. “Master Wei even offered to clean
up after himself.”

“I do too,” The head chef sighed. “But it was a call to save the Sect. You’ve all done well
today.”

The junior apprentice chefs exchanged glances. Were they training to be chefs, or training to
be soldiers?!

When Wei Wuxian returned to his room, Lan Zhan was still at the table reading through his
text books. He slithered over to the desk and dropped his basket of peppers on the table
before dropping himself into his husband’s lap.

“No luck in the kitchen?” Lan Zhan asked.

“NO one is there!” Wei Wuxian pouted. “I stood there for an eternity looking like a complete
idiot!”

“Hm. Sounds like the cooks are very busy.”

“I guess,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “I still want to make the paste though. Knowing Jiang Cheng,
he’ll have the most bland tasting noodles on the table — it’ll be like eating dough!”

Lan Wangji didn’t have the heart to stop his ranting, although he strongly disagreed with his
Wei Ying. Sect Leader Jiang’s spiciness was already too much for someone with Lan
Wangji’s palette to handle, he was terrified even thinking about how much Wei Ying would
elevate it.

“Perhaps this is a sign.” Lan Wangji supplied. “It is good to rest, let’s focus our energy into
finishing these envelops for the Juniors-”

“Wait a damn minute!” Wei Wuxian gasped. “What the hell do I need a kitchen for? I have
you!”

Lan Wangji stilled, not really understanding where this conversation was going.

“Lan Zhan! You’ll help me, won’t you?!”

Big brown eyes of innocent pleas had roped him in, but it was the thickness of Wei Ying’s
bottom lip poking out from beneath his top lip that did him in.

“…I…”

“Pleeeease?”
Well, this shouldn’t be all that bad. If he were around to directly supervise Wei Ying, things
shouldn’t blow too out of proportion, right?

Wrong.

Very, very, very, very wrong.

“Lan Zhan, can you make the fire bigger for a second please?”

Lan Wangji poured a bit more energy into the pot that he was holding, heating the contents up
until it started to a boil.

“Thanks!” Wei Wuxian pecked his cheek before sliding in another six peppers that he had
diced to pieces.

“I forgot to inform you,” Lan Wangji said. “Fairy has already been settled in Young Master
Jin’s room. She won’t be joining us for dinner.”

Wei Wuxian shuddered. “Thank you, Lan Zhan…I feel terrible that Jin Ling had to do that…
do you think he hates me for it?”

“He does not hate you.” Lan Wangji said with finality. “He does this so that he can spend
time with you, though he may have a funny way of showing it.”

Hearing those words made Wei Wuxian feel a bit better, but not by much. He didn’t have
much of his own money to properly prepare any gifts for the kids, but he did have enough
time to screw around with a few recipes. It was unfortunately all Wei Wuxian could afford to
do for them at this time.

“I hope they like it,” Wei Wuxian sighed after stirring the bowl for some time. “All this
effort…I don’t even know if Jin Ling likes spicy food.”

“He will appreciate whatever you give him,” Lan Wangji said truthfully. “He may be crass at
times, but he isn’t spoiled. Are you afraid of his reaction?”

“Not really afraid but…I don’t wanna mess anything up anymore, you know?”

He knew all too well.

Lan Wangji sighed and eyed the monstrous bowl of noodle paste that was more of a hellish
red than it was a tomato red, and any plans to switch out products or accidentally drop the
bowl right before dinner immediately flew out the window. If he had to, Lan Wangji was
willing to brave drinking the entire thing from a straw to make sure his husband’s feelings
wouldn’t get hurt.

“Things will work out,” Lan Wangji promised. “Let’s go wash. Dinner will be served soon.”

“Mkay.” Wei Wuxian grinned. He tossed the dirtied utensils into a single bucket before
placing a plate over the top of the bowl to shield it from contamination.

“Hanguang Jun, should we take a bath together to save time? I’d hate to be late…”

To emphasize his desire, Wei Wuxian tossed his body against the wide and thick frame of his
husband’s chest, running his hands up and down the muscled chunks of arms beneath his
sleeves.
“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji grit his teeth. “If we take a bath together there will be no dinner for
us at all.”

Wei Wuxian’s mind worked very differently from other people. While many would have seen
that as a threat, he gripped those words by their horns and turned it into a challenge. Coy and
lithe like a fox, Wei Wuxian attached himself to his husband’s front and rubbed his lower
tummy into the hardening space between Lan Zhan’s legs.

“So much talk, Hanguang Jun,” Wei Wuxian teased. “Not enough action…”

“…”

“H-hey. No need for the glare Lan Zhaaaahhh!”

—————

“Uncle, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Jiang Cheng waved his nephew’s concerns off with a simple shake of his head, looking away
from the source of his sudden stress so as to not alert the Juniors.

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing. Just eat up.”

Jin Ling and Sizhui exchanged a glance, but otherwise obeyed and kept their chopsticks
moving. Jingyi had no idea what was going on, as per usual, and took another chicken wing
from the large bowl to gnaw on.

Jin Ling shot him a dirty look. “Use your chopsticks,” he scolded.
Jiang Cheng followed suit, stuffing an entire vegetable wrap into his mouth to keep it busy
before curse words started pouring out. While he angrily chewed, Jiang Cheng couldn’t help
but twirl the zapping ring around and around on his finger. It hadn’t manifested into it’s whip
form just yet, but Jiang Cheng realized that without much provocation, it was only a matter of
time.

One fucking dinner.

Could he not host one. fucking. dinner? Was that too much to ask?!

At the very opposite end of the table, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sat together (practically
on top of each other, as Jiang Cheng noticed) their heads bowed close and sharing whispers
and giggles between their rubbing noses.

Apart from their mindless chatter, Jiang Cheng tried to distract the Juniors by asking them
questions about their studies in Gusu.

“And how’s the Old man?” Jiang Cheng asked, hand griped tight around his ring. The juniors
had turned their attention to face him as they spoke amongst each other, so their backs were
turned to the sinning of the two fuckheads at the opposite end of the table. “Is his health
improving?”

“Oh yes,” Sizhui answered with a smile. “Master Lan had been bed ridden for about a week,
but it just turned out to be from high blood pressure…Um…the doctors think it got better
after Hanguang Jun and Senior Wei left to slay the mirror ghost.”

“Ha. Makes sense.” If Jiang Cheng had to witness this behavior at dinner, no doubt he would
have been bed ridden at one point too. “You’ll probably get worked to death when you get
back to school then, sounds like he wasn’t able to teach much.”

“But!” Jingyi interrupted. “During the week Uncle was sick, we had a lot of time for our
independent studies. I actually managed to catch a snake and tied it in a knot!” he said
proudly.
“...and who, pray tell, taught you how to do that?”

“Senior Wei did!”

Jiang Cheng wished he hadn't asked. As to be expected, now that his name had been said
aloud at the table, it was only natural for their eyes to seek out the person of interest. Three
heads simultaneously (in what seemed like slow motion in Jiang Cheng's eyes) turned
towards the end of the table. Jiang Cheng felt despair bloom in the depths of his chest.

Juniors…this Sect Leader has failed to protect you.

The sight before them was not as bad as it had been previously, but it was still uncomfortable
for others to watch. Wei Wuxian sat perfectly balanced on Lan Wangji’s lap, patiently and
lovingly spoon feeding him scoop after scoop of the seasoned softened crab.

Sizhui wished that the earth would open up now and swallow him whole. Jin Ling felt his
stomach churn in uneasy rolls with everything that he had eaten so far, and he was so glad he
hadn’t turned to ask for the crabs sooner. The chicken that Jingyi had just raised to his lips
collapsed back onto his plate with a thud as his jaw hit the table.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng growled. “Please behave, there are children present.”

“Senior Wei…really, this might be a bit much.” Sizhui chuckled nervously.

Jingyi felt wronged in more ways than one. “Is Hanguang Jun a chair?!” he yelped. “You’re
worse than a child!”

“Alright, alright!” Wei Wuxian grumpily plopped himself back into his cushion, hands raised
in surrender. “I’m off, see? I can play nice.”
How long you can play nice is the question Jiang Cheng sighed.

“Alright everyone.” Jiang Cheng breathed. “Just…can we all just enjoy the food please.”

“Way aheada of ya, Sect Leader Jiang.” Jingyi saluted, turning back to his plate full of
chicken wings now that all was right in the world once more.

“Jingyi.” Lan Wangji called out from down the table “Do not eat another chicken wing.
You’ve had enough.”

Jiang Cheng eyed the towering stack of bones on a separate plate and couldn’t help but agree.

“Your stomach will be upset later.” Jiang Cheng informed him. “Slow down and have some
tea…and why haven’t you touched any of your vegetables?!”

Jingyi was heartbroken that he was being double teamed, but obeyed none the less. Sizhui
took pity on him and poured him a cup of tea, ignoring the puppy pout on his little brother’s
face.

“There’s plenty of time to eat, Jingyi.” Sizhui comforted him. “And no shortage of chicken
wings!”

Wei Wuxian chuckled, taking off the plate of the noodle paste he had worked hard on.
“Jingyi,” he called out. “If you eat some of this, it’ll clear a whole bowls worth of space in
your tummy!”

Jingyi gasped. “Really?”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened, and he turned to the door of the hall to glare where the head
chef stood, frozen as if he were a statue of ice.
“Really! As a matter of fact, why don’t we all try some?”

Lan Wangji would’ve traded all the Lan techniques in the world if they could only be left
with telepathy. His face wasn’t very expressive to begin with, but Lan Wangji did try to send
off warning signals with his eyes, but it seemed as if only Sect Leader Jiang got the message.

“Jingyi,” Jiang Cheng coughed. “Wei Wuxian really enjoys spicy food. Have you ever had
anything spicy?”

“I…I— no. We don’t have anything like this in Gusu.”

“It’s quite alright, Jingyi.” Sizhui smiled. “It may be hot at first but the burn actually
enhances the flavor of the noodles. If you don’t like it, I can finish it for you.”

“That’s my boy!” Wei Wuxian laughed, leaping from his chair to pour a spoonful onto
Sizhui’s awaiting plate.

Sizhui…there is no doubt about how filial you are. I’m proud of you!

Lan Wangji nodded in gratitude towards his adopted son, to which Sizhui replied with a
gentle smile while taking a generous bite of the noodles he had massaged with the deadly
pepper paste. Having grown up in Yiling with Senior Wei, Sizhui was quite accustomed to his
wild sense of spice. His own tastebuds had been conditioned to mirror Senior Wei’s at one
point, so he accepted as much paste as he could in order to save his brother’s and the others at
the table from a potential death.

“Hmph. Doesn’t look that spicy.” Jin Ling watched as Sizhui continued to lather his noodles
in the paste.

Please, young peacock. You do not want to challenge this, not this!
Jiang Cheng couldn’t vocalize his concerns without hurting Wei Wuxian’s feelings. And
when he realized this, Jiang Cheng felt a bit saddened, as this hesitancy and his silence was a
huge sign of how much they had drifted apart. When they were younger, if Wei Wuxian made
something that tasted like shit, Jiang Cheng would have no problem telling him so. But
now…now he was thinking about the next two steps ahead, wondering what would trigger
his responses and actually worrying over his reactions.

Just how far will the two be forced apart?

In the middle of all this inner monologue, Jin Ling yanked the bowl out of Wei Wuxian’s
hands and dumped the same amount of paste as Sizhui had onto his plate. At this age,
everything was a competition for him, and how much spiciness he could handle was
something he intended to win. It wasn’t like he had any ill will towards Sizhui either, or a
need to beat him to prove a point. He was just…that competitive about everything. It was the
way he raised!

“Uh, Jin Ling,” Sizhui paled. “Are you sure about this? It’s really spicy.”

“Pft, of course I’m sure! What do you know? You’ve never seen me eat spicy foods before!”

“Because you never order spicy foods to begin with.” Jiang Cheng said warily. “Don’t waste
it, slide your plate to Jiujiu, I’ll finish it for you if you need me to.”

“I’m not a child!” Jin Ling childishly huffed. “And I can finish a plate of noodles on my
own!”

“Um, Jin Ling?” Wei Wuxian was beginning to feel a bit awkward. He wasn’t sure if Jin Ling
was trying the paste because he really was curious about its taste or if it was for proving some
type of point to the others in the room that were doubting him.

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. Senior Wei is not known to be the best of
cooks, ha ha.”
Lan Wangji’s heart gave a soft tug. “Wei Ying,” he said gently. “That’s not true. I enjoy your
cookings very much.”

Wei Wuxian gently smiled and walked back to his side of the table, a now empty bowl of
paste in his hands. “Well of course you like it silly. I don’t exactly trust your judgement,
you’re way too biased.”

“Not biased,” Lan Wangji lied. “I truly do enjoy your cooking.”

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help it even if he tried. His arms slid around his husband’s neck and he
took his rightful place back on his lap.

“Oh Lan Zhan you’re really just the sweetest! I’ll make you more tonight, just for you. How
does that sound?”

With no traces of the once shy and insecure Wei Ying, Lan Wangji could only smile and pat
his behind lovingly. “Two jars worth, please.”

Jiang Cheng continued to twirl the Zidian around and around on his finger. Lan Wangji really
was whipped for Wei Wuxian.

Gross.

“Why are you like this,” Jin Ling sighed. “Why my Uncles? Why mine of all people?” he
cried.

Sizhui didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Instead he patted Jin Ling’s back comfortingly
with understanding tears silently pouring down his cheeks.
“Shut up and eat your food, it’s getting cold.” Jingyi said over another mouthful of chicken.
When all the adults were stuck jabbering at each other, he had successfully managed to
secretly polish off another platter of chicken wings all by himself.

“Jingyi.” Lan Wangji sighed with a frown.

Jingyi had the face to at least bow in apology, awkward chuckles filling the now quiet dining
hall.

“Whatever,” Jin Ling sighed. He used his chopsticks to push around the paste and noodles
before swirling a good amount up to his lips. Sizhui and Jiang Cheng stood by with filled
water glasses, and palms pumped full of soothing energy, just waiting for the inevitable.

It was like a public execution of sorts. Wei Wuxian had stopped his flirting altogether and
paid Lan Zhan no mind. Instead, his vision was locked on Jin Ling’s trembling hands, waiting
to see if his nephew would enjoy what he had made.

Don’t get your hopes up, Wei Wuxian. Some people just don’t like spicy foods and that’s okay.
Nothing to get your feelings hurt over.

Jin Ling slurped the noodles into his mouth, and immediately began to chew.

He knew something was wrong when barely a second had passed and he could no longer feel
his tongue.

…Jin Ling wanted to die.

What the fuck! What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what
the fuck, what the FUCK! I did not sign up for this!

“It’s good.” Jin Ling said blankly. “The after taste is a bit sour, but it’s good.”
This spice…this spice! It’s making me lie?! LIE?! How is it doing this?! Devil’s work!

“Wait…you’re really okay?” Sizhui asked skeptically. “It doesn’t hurt?”

Wei Wuxian seemed just as shocked, if not more so, as everyone else. His gaze watered with
what felt like tears of happiness, but Wei Wuxian felt such a deep pit of relief envelope his
insides that he was almost bursting with happiness.

Jin Ling shrugged nonchalantly. “Is it supposed to?” he challenged.

Jiang Cheng studied his nephew carefully. It was one thing to be a good liar, it was another to
completely trick yourself so skillfully that your body doesn’t even realize that you’re dying.
But Jin Ling was either a mastermind or a terrifying psychopath, because with every slurp
and chew that he endured, he showed no signs of suffering or discomfort at all.

…Or maybe he just really likes the food, asshole? Ever thought of that?

“I’m really happy that you like it, Jin Ling.” Wei Wuxian sighed. “I don’t know what I would
have done if I made something you couldn’t stand.”

Jin Ling shrugged around another mouthful of noodles. “Maybe less vinegar next time?”

Less fucking peppers you maniac, holy fuck!!!!

Wei Wuxian smiled. “Okay! Less vinegar it is!”

Lan Wangji slid an extra coin into Jin Ling’s red envelope under the safety of the table.
Jiang Cheng sighed and sank into his chair. Seems like everything was going to be just fine,
he had been worried for nothing.

Once the table had been cleared, the adults and the Juniors slowly made their way to the
highest tower in the Lotus Cove to watch the fireworks show. The three boys noisily
clamored up onto the roof while the three men stayed near the railing, enjoying the feeling of
the cool evening breeze drifting through their coats.

“Not too bad Sect Leader Jiang,” Wei Wuxian smiled softly. “I couldn’t have planned a better
party.”

Jiang Cheng’s ears tinged pink but he still nodded his thanks. “A-jie would’ve been happy we
spent it together.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes lowered and he found great interest in the tiny line of ants crawling
around on the ground. There wasn’t much else he could say to that, even though a million and
two words were beating around in his head. Lan Wangji felt the slight shift in his mood and
effortlessly slipped his hand into his husbands, squeezing tight with his silent comfort.

“I’m glad you came.” Jiang Cheng said at last, his own voice unrecognizable to his ears with
how soft it projected, “thank you for coming.”

Wei Wuxian wiped the tear that escaped his eye with the back of his hand.

“I’ll always come back. Nothing will ever change that.”

Wei Wuxian said it with such conviction that Jiang Cheng had no room or right to doubt him.

The beginning of the New Year had kicked off once the first burst of fireworks crackled in
the air. Wei Wuxian could hear the Juniors on the roof above them, cheering and hollering in
appreciation for the colors that were lighting up across the night sky.
Another year, another decade, another life time.

“Wei Ying?”

Wei Wuxian looked up, and his lips were immediately claimed in a quick kiss.

“Happy New Year.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin could have split oceans. He squealed and hugged his husband’s arm to his
chest, kissing up his forearm, up his shoulder and neck until claiming Lan Zhan’s lips in one,
two, three pecks.

“How about we start a new tradition? One kiss for every year we’ve known each other?” Wei
Wuxian asked with a grin.

Despite the thousands of pounds of fireworks pounding off in the air right now, the snap of
Jiang Cheng’s forehead vein could still be heard from miles away.

That’s it!

Zidian fed off of the energy of it’s Master, and right now it’s Master was ready to whip his
adoptive brother into bite sized pieces!

“One fucking dinner!” Jiang Cheng shouts. “Can I not host one fucking dinner with you
two?!”

“Oh no, Lan Zhan! Run! The scary grape man has finally lost it!”
“What the fuck did you just call me?!”

“Lan Zhan, run!”

“Mn. Running.”

Fin
End Notes

Happy New Year and Happy Valentines Day to you all! I hope my lovely giftee (and
everyone else that decides to give this story a chance) enjoys it! Remember this year's motto:
Health is wealth! Take care of yourselves, ily <3

Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!