s It’s a Cheshire Cat and that’s why. (To baby) Pig!
Alice I didn’t know that cats could grin.
Duchess They all can and most of them do. Alice I don’t know of any that do. Duchess You
don’t know much and that’s a fact. (Cook starts throwing things at Duchess) Alice Please
mind what you’re doing! Oh, there goes his precious nose! Duchess If everybody minded
their own business, the world would go round a great deal faster than it does. Alice Which
would not be an advantage. You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn on its axis.
Duchess Talking of axes, chop off her head! Alice Twenty-four hours, I think, or is it twelve?
Duchess Oh, don’t bother me! I could never abide figures. Here, you may nurse it for a bit if
you like. (Flings baby at Alice and leaves) Lewis Carroll Alice carried the baby out into the
open air where it started to grunt. She told it, if it was going to turn into a pig, she’d have
nothing more to do with it. It grunted again, so violently that she set the little creature down
and felt quite relieved to see it trot away into the wood. Alice If it had grown up it would
have made a dreadfully ugly child, but it makes rather a handsome pig I think. Lewis Carroll
As Alice turned round, she was a little startled to see the Cheshire Cat. Alice Cheshire Puss!
Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here? Cheshire Cat That depends a
good deal on where you want to get to. Alice I don’t much care where … Cheshire Cat Then it
doesn’t matter which way you go! Alice What sort of people live about here? Cheshire Cat In
that direction lives a hatter and in that direction lives a March hare. Visit either you like,
they’re both mad! Alice But I don’t want to go among mad people! 16 Cheshire Cat Oh, you
can’t help that, we’re all mad here. I’m mad, you’re mad. Alice How do you know I’m mad?
Cheshire Cat You must be or you wouldn’t have come here. Do you play croquet with the
Queen today? Alice I should like it very much, but I haven’t been invited yet. Cheshire Cat
You’ll see me there. By-the-bye, what became of the baby? I nearly forgot to ask. Alice It
turned into a pig. Cheshire Cat I thought it would! Lewis Carroll With that, the Cheshire Cat
slowly vanished, beginning with the end of the tail and ending with the grin, which remained
some time after the rest of it had gone. Alice Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin, but a
grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life. WONDERLAND (Song
and Dance) CD Track 13 ALICE White rabbits with strange habits That run round in a mad
panic, Never having time to turn around. Long hallways with small doorways Are there
sometimes, but not always, Curious indeed – the things I’ve found. ALL CHORUS Alice, Alice,
please understand These are the things that happen in a wonderland. (Repeat) ALICE Loud
sneezing and brain-teasing, Where words take on a new meaning, Everyone it seems must
disagree. Rude manners and bad grammar The Frog Footman, a Mad Hatter! It’s the
strangest place I’ve ever been! CHORUS INSTRUMENTAL (Cast join Alice in ‘gathering’)
CHORUS © 1997 & 2006 Out of the Ark Music, Surrey KT12 4RQ END OF ACT ONE
