Who will I marry?

Part 1
This is one of the crucial questions facing youth. The vast majority of the
young people want to get married and be happy. God wants it that way. But the decision to choose the
Having a partner is not always straightforward.

1 WHEN A YOUNG CHRISTIAN THINKS ABOUT MARRYING, HE LONGS TO DO THE

THINGS
IN THE BEST WAY, I WISH TO START WITH A SOLID FOUNDATION:

1.1.1 The young man does not want to build his house on the sand but on the rock. If you have
Christ in your heart, you have no reason to fail, fall, or ruin your life. With the Lord
Jesus, in your life you can build a beautiful home where it is worth living.

1.1.2 God says: "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a suitable helper for him." Or
the Christian man and the Christian woman, when they are thinking about forming a couple, are
looking for that person whom God has already chosen. A suitable helper, a person
according to my needs and, at the same time, a person who needs what I have
to give it.

1.1.3 The Christian does not seek their partner for purely selfish reasons (at least not
it should be this way). It is true that the young man needs a wife; but at the same time, when
is thinking about the partner, must ask themselves: 'Who can I bless? Who
Do you need what I have to offer? Who can I help? Who can I love?
with all my heart and for whom can I be a blessing?
Now, there is another important point to mention:

THE CHRISTIAN IS UNITED FOREVER:

It is not like a butterfly or a bee that goes from flower to flower to see which one it is.
the most
sweet.

The Bible says: "No man should separate what God has joined" (Matthew 19:6)
The true Christian thinks about marrying and living united to the spouse in love, patience,
constant tenderness and forgiveness, until death do them part.
When there is genuine will in the heart, the Holy Spirit takes care of guiding the
young Christian.
I am the Lord your God...
that guides them along the path they must follow.
(Isaiah 48:17).
 Part 2
Nowadays, there is a great deal of confusion as a result of cheap novels, movies
pornographic and also as a result of certain wrong cultural patterns. The word
Love is one of the most distorted in our lexicon.
The term love has been prostituted. People believe that the word love is synonymous with
sex. But in reality, love and sex are not synonyms. To love does not necessarily imply,
having sexual relations. Just as having sexual relations does not imply that
Oh love. Sex is to express love, but love does not always manifest.
through sex.
The Bible says that we must love everyone because 'God is love' (1 John 4:8). What is
The essence of love? According to the Epistle to the Galatians, love is service.
The signal that we love someone is that we serve that person. 'You were
called to freedom; but not to the freedom to do evil but to the freedom to love
and serve others" (Galatians 5:13).
Love is revealed in service. Love is what drives one to seek the good of the other.
person is the foundation of life in relation.
Love is the key to a happy dating and marriage.
Examine your heart. If you think you love a young man or a girl, ask yourself:
Do I feel the kind of love described in the passage of 1 Corinthians 13?

3 HOW TO KNOW GOD'S WILL FOR MY LIFE?

For this, it is necessary that you ask yourself:
3.1 Is it true or not that he is a believer in Christ?
3.1.1 The Bible is conclusive regarding that a Christian should not marry a
incredulous.
There is a great emphasis on the words of St. Paul.

Do not be united in marriage with those who do not love the Lord, for what can one
What does Cristiano have in common with those who are devoted to sin? How can it be
Can light get along well with darkness? And what harmony can there be between Christ and the
diablo? How can a Christian agree with an unbeliever? And what
What fellowship can exist between the temple of God and idols? You are the temple.
of the living God, and the Lord said to them: 'I will live in them and walk among them'
them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” That is why the Lord says: “Come out of
in the midst of them, separate yourselves; do not touch their unclean things, and I will receive you with the
open arms." (1 Corinthians 6:14-17).

Do not marry those who do not love the Lord,” says God, and it is
terminating. Common sense also says so; let us be intelligent then.
experience also says so, so let's not reject it. We must take it into consideration.
seriously.
If you disobey God in this matter, you will waste your life. There will be no happiness. Your
a home will never become a happy, wonderful home, filled with the Holy Spirit and the
glory to God. Rest assured that in that way you will not find true happiness.
God has reserved you.
 Part 3
Marrying an unconverted person is a sin against God, a sin against yourself, and
against the children that will come. Marrying a non-Christian can lead to failure.
bigger than your life.

Someone has satirically said: 'When a child of God marries a child of'
Satan, the devil is his father-in-law.
Behind the sense of humor, there is a bitter reality as attested by hundreds who
they have suffered the consequences of an unequal yoke.
3.1.2 Perhaps you are wondering how you can be sure that someone is indeed a son.
of God.
A Christian is someone who has Jesus Christ in their life, who has asked Him for forgiveness for their sin.
and has accepted his sacrifice on the cross.
People can be known by the priorities and attitudes they demonstrate in
their life. For this, it is necessary to spend time with people and not rush into
excessive manner. Remember that 'everything has its time.'
The true Christian is known by their fruits. Jesus himself said: 'By their fruits you shall know them.'
"You will know." Is there a genuine fruit in the person you are focusing on?

Here are six evidences of a Christian, as we find them in the first letter.
from the Apostle John:
1) With humility, he confesses his sin daily (1.9).
2) Obey the Word of God (2.3-6, especially v.4).
Love your brother (2.10).
4) Do not love the world or the things in the world (2.15).
5) He does not practice sin (3.9).
6) Overcome sin (5.4).

But on the other hand, as a Christian, it is not only necessary to marry another Christian,
but with a Christian who grows in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus, with a
Cristiano, may it not hinder your spiritual growth but, on the contrary, may it...
anime and inspire to grow in your faith.

Before God, make the decision that you will marry a partner with whom you can
seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness all your life. Nothing can be more exciting!
3.1.3 You must keep in mind that the Christian marriage is not formed by two
persons but three. The third part is Christ Jesus. In Him lies the foundation of
a courtship and a happy marriage. Christ is the unifying force of the couple, for
the Bible warns against marrying those who do not love the Lord.

If you want to get married, be happy, and create a home according to God's plans, you must
find a partner who shares your faith in the Lord Jesus, as He is the center
United.
There must be an external force that invades the hearts of the boy and the girl,
uniting them permanently. That is to say, there will no longer be two wills but one.
That is precisely the will of God, and those who love Christ will give themselves.
gladly to that process.
Do not marry those who do not love the Lord, says God, and it is
terminating. Common sense also says so; let us be, then, intelligent. The
Experience says so too, so let's not reject it. We must consider it very
seriously.
If you disobey God in this matter, you will waste your life. There will be no happiness. Your
a home will never be a happy home, wonderful, full of the Holy Spirit and of the
glory to God. Rest assured that in that way you will not find complete happiness that
God has reserved you.

Part 4
On one side the boy, on the other side the girl, and in the center Jesus Christ, embracing and
uniting the two.

Do you want a relationship and a happy future marriage?

Memorize the text of Galatians 2:20 and apply it to your life:

I am crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ

live in me, and what I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave himself for me.

When man and woman can say: 'We are crucified with Christ', they have
take the first step to eradicate selfishness, which throughout history is the evil that
has caused more problems in families. They would also have taken a vital step towards the
answer to the question: 'Who will I marry?'
When the Lord Jesus is the third person that makes up the perfect triangle in the
couple, divine love begins to flood the hearts. But when Jesus Christ does not
takes center stage, selfishness prevails and carnal and tumultuous passions dominate, the
relationships with nervousness and insecurity. Therefore, we must keep in mind the
words that God put in the mouth of the apostle Saint Paul:

The love of God has been poured out in our hearts through
of the Holy Spirit that was given to us" (Romans 5:5).

That divine love that fills our being makes us love each other supernaturally.
It must be acknowledged that the love generally talked about in movies and books
romantic currents, it is an entirely passionate love. But this divine love, the love
what creates true unity of hearts is a supernatural love.

Part 5
When a young man and a girl decide to make a mutual commitment of dating,
they face a decision of utmost importance. Many relationships, and even many
marriages fail for not taking certain fundamental aspects into account.
Do we build on the rock, on something secure?
Or do we build on sand, on transient things?
In order to answer these questions, we must sincerely ask ourselves:

Am I proud of her/him, or would I be embarrassed to introduce her/him?

ANY IMPORTANT CHARACTER?
True love is never ashamed of the other person. On the contrary, it is
proud of her.
When someone truly loves, they have the desire for everyone to know their
girlfriend/boyfriend.
It is important not to allow for false humility, let us learn to have perspective.
correct towards our boyfriend or girlfriend.

Do I consider them inferior to me in any way?

When a young person loves their girlfriend/boyfriend but truly loves them, that love will lead them to a
happy marriage within the will of God, and it should never consider its
partner subordinate to him.

The word of God calls us to consider one another, and especially

to consider the older brother more than ourselves. What is the consideration that
What do you feel towards your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Do I feel respect for the person I believe I am in love with?

DO I TAKE LIBERTIES BY MISTREATING AND ABUSING HER?
(physically or emotionally)
According to the Bible, true love is synonymous with purity. True love thinks of
the loved one in pure terms.

Part 6
6 Can we talk together for long hours or do we not have
NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT?
It is said that true love speaks. Love without conversation soon dies. Love
it is not something automatic; it must be cultivated, and for that it is necessary to converse and share the
one with the other. Love is expressed by revealing itself in actions and with words.
It is necessary to take time to share, chat, get to know the concerns, dreams,
aspirations, ways of thinking of the other person, etc. This is only achieved through the
dialogue, and you will need to learn to share it with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Am I willing to wait as long as necessary?

When a person is overly eager to get married, it is because something is not right.
Well. The extreme urgency is generally merely sexual, or a symbol of a lack.
of maturity, or sometimes the desire to escape from the home or place where one is living.

Love is patient. True love knows how to wait for the right moment. In Galatians
4.4 we read that 'when the time came that He had determined, God sent His Son'.
The same happens with marriage. The Christian man and woman expect
what
the moment that God has indicated and determined has arrived.

I WANT TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT MY PARTNER CAN

RESPECT, OR DO I INTEND TO DO EVERYTHING BY FORCE?
Do I always want to get my way, or do I seek the good and the desires of the other?
You must not forget what 1 Corinthians 13 says about genuine love. "Love is not
neither presumptuous nor proud; it is neither arrogant nor selfish. It does not always try to get away with the
suya
When there is true love, both are seeking the good of the other and not their own good.
proper. The one who loves desires the good of the beloved person.
There must be mutual respect, considering the opinion and the will of my partner.

Is she the right young woman for me?

Will it compensate for my deficiencies? Will I compensate for yours?

Your partner should be your complement, your other half, so that together you live for the
glory to God.
We must remember that this is a process where both will need to get to know each other and learn to
complement each other, do not be impatient. But if this process becomes impossible,
then it is a warning sign.
God's purpose is for both to complement and help each other. You should
then ask yourself: Am I willing to help my boyfriend/girlfriend?

Part 7
The person I want to marry is physically appealing to me.
ATTRACTIVE?
Maybe this question seems ridiculous to you. However, there are young people who decide to
contract
marriage without physically appreciating the future spouse.
It is dangerous to pretend that physical appeal is not important.
We are tripartite beings: body, soul, and spirit. Of course, we must place the
love in its proper perspective. There are very important aspects such as the spirit,
intellect, emotions, sociability, cultural and educational level. All of this is
very true. But don't even think about underestimating or relegating physical attractiveness to a place
inconsequential, thinking that it is unbecoming.
Never forget that God himself created our bodies, and although selfishness and sin
they contaminate everything, the true Christian sees the human body and sexuality as
something beautiful, wonderful, when understood from the divine perspective. Such a perspective
it is revealed in the Bible.
In this aspect, it is important to be realistic. Not to live in a world of fantasies.
Dreaming of Miss Universe or the most famous man. Do not allow the world to
through television, magazines, newspapers, etc. feed your mind with a perspective
wrong.
11 ARE MY PARENTS IN AGREEMENT WITH OUR DATING AND FUTURE
MARRIAGE?

God said: 'Children, obey your parents; this is right... (Eph. 6:1); Children,
Always obey your parents, because this pleases the Lord. (Col. 3:20).
If the parents do not give their approval, it is risky to proceed with the plans.
obedience to parents 'pleases the Lord'. Psychologically, there is nothing in the intimacy of being
peace before a marriage conceived without parental approval.
On the other hand, there is satisfaction and joy when families are formed with the
the approval of our loved ones.
If it is God's will for you to marry, God Himself can change your parents' opinion.

Perhaps they are expecting to see more maturity in you, more responsibility.
economic or discipline. Try to find out for yourself why they are contrary to your
Engagement. Perhaps a simple clarification from you will resolve things.
Sometimes, when there are family members who are not true Christians, they can
exceptional situations may arise. It is important that you consult your pastor or
spiritual authority. Even so, this should not be a reason not to keep a true
testimony.

Part 8
Whenever a relationship is harmful, we find clear signs of it. Without
It is necessary to be honest and transparent by acknowledging the situation. Still
we are on time!

THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN THERE IS NO GOAL OF A

FUTURE MARRIAGE:
When two young Christians start a courtship, there must always be the intention
of a future marriage. Marriage was instituted by God.
To offer the hands, the face, the lips, and the time to someone with whom one does not have the
the intention to marry is dangerous and can lead us to sin.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN IT IS POSSESSIVE:

Those who act wanting to control the other person, defeated by jealousy and frustrated,
they become possessive people. We must not forget that love means giving, not
constantly demanding from the other person. It may denote a lack of maturity.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS ALWAYS HARMFUL WHEN IT IS FRIVOLOUS:

It is frivolous to not try to reflect before acting, to not care that
whether there are noble feelings or not; it is frivolous to change one's opinion, behavior and
attitude quickly.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN THERE IS NO DISCIPLINE:

Self-discipline is a fundamental element of the Christian life. Knowing the time to
to arrive and the time to leave the bride's house, despite the excessive freedom of
certain families, it is an exceptional virtue. Likewise, avoid deserted places and
favorable for "excesses" is highly recommended.
God has established limits for each stage of our life and by transgressing those limits
we carry consequences about our life. Being in a relationship is not the same as
to be married.

Part 9
It is harmful for couples to sleep together, or in the same house without having any
person
mayor, responsible present. It is harmful to do certain types of caresses, they can
take you to
commit acts that you will later want to regret and wish you had not committed them
and no longer

you can go back.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN IT AFFECTS THE COMMUNION WITH
GOD AND THE
CHURCH:
When we consider the effect that our future spouse could have on the
spiritual intimacy with Christ, we must ask ourselves: When I am with him/her I
Do I feel closer to the Lord or does His company take away my desire to congregate?
Young people who are faithful in attending Church meetings suddenly begin to
to be absent for giving priority to their romantic relationship, or for dedicating
too much
time to cultivate it.
Any romance that hinders communion with God and the Church, that obstructs
communication
fraternal, both in frequency and in prohibitions resulting from the possessive attitude,
it will not be

healthy nor will it have the approval of God (Hebrews 10:25).

We must understand and take into account that God must occupy the first place in
our
lives. When this happens, our relationship will be a blessing for our life, for the
life of
our boyfriend/girlfriend, and for those around us.
THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN IT DEGENERATES INTO IMPURITY
SEXUAL
The warning of the apostle Paul to Timothy should find resonance in everyone.
hearts
willing to do the will of God, with a life that does not sadden the Spirit
Saint, like
result of immorality:

Flee also from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with
those who call on the Lord with a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22)
The Bible mentions fornication (having sexual relations outside of
marriage
like a sin that can bring terrible consequences on our life and on
our home.
THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN JESUS CHRIST IS NOT THE CENTER
OF THE
SAME:
The values we establish in our relationship will affect our activities,
decisions
and, well, all of life. If the spiritual prevails in our dating, then there will be
a good
relationship between the couple. It is necessary to pray and read the Word together, in addition to the
communion
individual that each one has with the Lord.

Learning to pray together is of great value, cultivating a spiritual life is essential.

importance.
THE RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL WHEN IT INCITES REBELLION AND
CONFRONTING A
THE AUTHORITY:
It will never bring blessing to oppose the authority of parents, church, etc. Let us remember
that the
the first rebel was Satan by opposing God's authority and wanting to sit in His place
throne
14.12-15).

Part 11

Knowing each other, understanding each other, trusting each other, being open and sincere, good communication, love
y
courtesy, fidelity and forgiveness, spiritual growth and mutual encouragement are essential for
to foster
a healthy and lasting relationship.
1 KNOWING EACH OTHER MUTUALLY :
This takes time. It is impossible to know a person if you do not spend time with them.
or he.
In dating, one of the main tasks is to learn to know our boyfriend/girlfriend well.
which
es.
It is essential to get to know each other, to understand the different states of mind, the
way of thinking, to internalize in the education and tastes of the other; to know what it is
What do you think about the relationship with God, the number of children, etc. And it will also be
it's good to meet the family of the future life partner.
2 UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER:
It is necessary to understand the way of thinking and acting of the other party, to study their
reactions, their reasoning, and trying to understand it.
It is important to have patience, love, and to try to put ourselves in the other's place in order to
understand
in a better way what he is trying to tell us.
This does not mean that we should set aside our testimony, or push the boundaries.
giving way
to sin in our life.
3 TRUST EACH OTHER:
When there is no trust but rather suspicions, jealousy, insecurity, anxiety, and doubts, it is a sign
of
that the relationship is going in the wrong direction. Many times that attitude of jealousy ends in
violence or
well at the end of the friendship.

When there is no mutual trust in a couple, it is a sign that

instead, there exists what the Bible calls a relationship "in the flesh." This does not refer to the
aspect
sexual but to the human being without the internal control of Christ.
When there is no trust in the couple, it is because one, the other, or both are not.
walking under the guidance of the Holy Spirit of God. It can also be an indication that
that relationship is not within God's plan.
The Bible declares: 'There is no fear in love' (1 John 4:18).

Part 12

4 OPEN AND SINCERE:

One of the problems is that human beings aim to be what they are not. We live with a
mask on that covers what we really are. Before getting to marriage,
boyfriends and
Girlfriends must rip off their masks and put aside appearances.
We must be inside just as we show ourselves on the outside.
They should do it from the first day and discover the soul as it is. There is a myth of
that is not
for men to show weaknesses, and that one must wear a mask to hide them
true feelings. Totally false!
It is necessary to be honest, sincere, open, and transparent. If we intend to be what
By the way, we are not, we are lying shamelessly. Let us keep that in mind.
Your courtship and marriage will be fantastic experiences if you resolve today to
a
once and for all, that you will no longer have things to hide.
The fact of being open and sincere is one of the great secrets to affirming a
dating and laying solid foundations for a happy Christian home.
5 GOOD COMMUNICATION:
Colossians 4:6 says that our speech should be full of grace. In a good friendship,
nothing
it's better than positive and uplifting conversations.
Often the relationships between a boy and a girl focus on the
demonstration of
physical affection.
But in dating, the focus should be on learning more about the
interests of others, family, friends, dreams, some of the priorities and the
walk with the Lord.
6 LOVE AND COURTESY:
Love is not an option; it is the foundation; it is the basis. Love is not something ideal but
real, and it
is controlled by certain laws and divine commandments.
Love is voluntary sacrifice. Love is dedication of time. Love is caring about
the
well-being of the couple. Love is not making selfish demands. Love is not doing anything that
he hurt our partner.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 we see the description of this love:
Love is patient, it is kind;
Love does not have envy,
it is not boastful, it does not become vain,
it is not indecorous, it does not seek its own,
does not get irritated, does not hold a grudge,

One does not enjoy injustice, but one enjoys truth.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Courtesy is a sign of true love that comes from God. In 1 Cor. 13:5 the
apostle
Pablo says that love is neither selfish nor rude. Quite the opposite. He who loves gives to the
another
a person without expecting to receive. Someone has said: "Good habits consist of small
sacrifices.

9 SPIRITUAL GROWTH :
It is very important that both of you build each other up spiritually by praying together,
gathering and
serving the Lord in everything you can.
Taking care of the spiritual is the base, the solid foundation that will then help to build.
in the future a happy marriage.
10 ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER:
We live in times where often criticism, pressure, and competition
discourage
they frustrate and take the breath away from those who are trying to build their future. With the
grace, the
help and the guidance of the Holy Spirit we must learn to encourage and uplift our
boyfriend/girlfriend to
to improve oneself. Encourage him to study, to work, to serve the Lord, etc. (Acts 17:24-25).