Live and Let Live
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ScribdTranslationsLive and Let Live
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ScribdTranslationsLIVE AND LET LIVE
The old proverb 'Live and let live' seems so simple that it is very easy for its
values. Naturally, one of the reasons why it is said time and time again for so many years is
which has proven to be very beneficial in many and very different ways.
We A.A. give some special uses to that saying to help us not to drink.
It particularly helps us get along with people who test our nerves.
Reviving once again a small part of our drinking stories, many of us
We can see how very often our alcoholic problem was related in one way or another.
interacting with others. Experimenting with wine or beer in our teenage years seemed
natural, since so many others were doing it, and we wanted to achieve their approval.
Then came the weddings, the celebrations, the baptisms, the parties, the soccer matches and the cocktails and
business lunches, and the list can go on indefinitely. In all those circumstances
we drank, at least partially, because everyone else was drinking and it was expected that
we would have done it too.
Those of us who started drinking alone, or occasionally taking a sip in secret,
we often did it to prevent other people from knowing the amount and frequency in
what we were drinking. Very rarely did we want to hear someone talk about our way
to drink. If they did, we would generally give them reasons for our behavior, as if
we would like to protect ourselves from criticism or complaints.
Some of us, after drinking, become combative and belligerent with others.
Some of us feel much better in the middle of people after having one or two drinks.
copy, whether it was a social gathering, a tense business or job interview, or doing
love. Our way of drinking occasions that many of us chose our friends in
relationship with the amount that they in turn take in. Thus we end up changing friends when
we believed that we "overstepped" in their drinks. We prefer "real drinkers" to the people who
We usually had one or two drinks, and we tried to completely avoid the abstainers.
Many of us feel angry or insecure about the way our family
reacted to our drink. Some of us lost jobs because the boss or one of our
co-workers opposed or objected to our drink. We wanted people to care about
his own problems and will leave us with ours.
Frequently, we feel angry or fearful even of people who have not criticized us.
Our sense of guilt made us ultra-sensitive to everyone around us, and we fed it.
resentments. At times, we would change bars, jobs, or neighborhoods with the sole aim of avoiding
to meet with certain people.
So that a large number of people, in addition to ourselves, were, in one way or another,
involved in our drink to a certain degree.
When we stopped drinking, it was a great relief for us to find that the people we met
In A.A., recovered alcoholics seem to be very different. They reacted to us not with
criticism and suspicion, but comprehensively and with sincere concern.
However, it is perfectly natural that we still find some people who alter
our nerves, both inside and outside of A.A. We may find that our non-A.A. friends
Coworkers or family members still treat us as if we were drinking.
It may take them some time to realize that we have really suspended it. After that
They have seen us quit drinking many times in the past, only to relapse.
To start putting into practice the concept of 'Live and let live', we must face this fact: There is
people in A.A. and everywhere, who say things we do not agree with, or
they do things we don’t like. Learning to live with differences is essential for our
comfort. It is precisely in those cases that we have found the extreme usefulness of telling ourselves to
ourselves, 'Live and let live'.
In fact, A.A. places a lot of emphasis on learning to tolerate the behavior of others. It doesn't matter how
offensive or unpleasant as they may seem, it certainly is not worth it for us to start drinking because of
them. Our own recovery is too important. Alcoholism can kill us and sometimes
He/She does it. We have to remember this permanently.
We have understood that it is worth making a very special effort to try to understand the
other people, especially those who torment us. For our own recovery, it is much
It is more important to understand than to be understood. This is not very difficult if we keep in mind the idea
that the other members of A.A. are also trying to understand, just as we are.
If that is the case, we will also find some people in A.A., and in other places, whom we
we will not be particularly pleasant to them. That is why we all try to respect the rights of
the others to act in the way they choose or are able to. And we can expect that they will give us
We the same treatment. In A.A. they generally do it.
Usually, people who seek each other out in a neighborhood, a company, a club, or in A.A.
they gravitate towards others. When we invest time with people we like, we
we feel less affected by those who do not particularly care about us.
As time goes by, we see that we are no longer afraid to distance ourselves from the people who irritate us.
instead of cowardly allowing them to intrude into our lives, or instead of trying to
to adapt them so that they fit better with our idiosyncrasy.
None of us can remember anyone who has tried to force us to drink alcohol. No one has.
ropes to empty the liquor into our throats. Just as no one physically forces us to drink,
now we try to make sure that no one mentally forces us to drink, either.
It is very easy to use the actions of other people as an excuse to drink. We usually are
experts in that. But in sobriety we have learned a new technique: We do not allow ourselves to get to
a state of resentment towards another person that allows that person to control our lives,
especially to the point of causing us to start drinking again. We have found that we do not have the
I wish to allow no one to drive or ruin our lives.
An ancient legend says that none of us should criticize another until we have...
walked a kilometer in that person's shoes. This wise advice can give us a greater
understanding of the human beings who are our equals. Putting it into practice makes us feel
much better than when we are irritated.
"Let live", yes. But some of us believe that the first part of the saying is of great value:
Live
When we have found the way to fully enjoy our own life, we have happiness
to let others live in the way they wish. If our own lives are interesting and
productive, we really have no drive or desire to find faults in others or worry about
the way they act.
Can you think at this very moment of someone who really bothers you? If so, why?
Don't practice something? Put off thinking about him or her, or anything that bothers you.
of that person. Afterwards, if he wishes, he can explode. But for now, why doesn't he set it aside?
while reading the following paragraph?
!Live! Strive for your life. In our opinion, staying sober opens the door to a life
of happiness. It is worth sacrificing many resentments and fights... Very well, if you cannot
manage to completely distance your mind from that person, let's see how much help it can provide you
next suggestion.