BENCHED

by
Damon Jones & Michaela Watkins
STUDIO DRAFT
5/8/12

The Mark Gordon Company

12200 West Olympic Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90064
(310) 943-6401

INT. ELEVATOR DOORS/LAW FIRM LOBBY - DAY

ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN AND AN OFFICE CART, LOADED WITH
BOTTLES/GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE, ROLLS INTO A VERY SLICK,
OPULENT FOYER LOBBY FULL OF SMARTLY-DRESSED LAWYERS. THEY
EAGERLY HELP THEMSELVES FOR WHAT WE PRESUME WILL BE A
TOAST. OTHERS ARE FILING IN FROM THEIR OFFICES.
PETER ALEXANDER, 50S, THE HEAD OF THE FIRM, STROLLS IN,
LOOSENING HIS TIE.
ALEXANDER
Hey, were still on the clock. So
everybody drink two glasses.
EVERYONE CHUCKLES.
ALEXANDER (CONTD)
Is everybody here? Wheres Nina? Probably
on the phone with three countries at
once, having her way with them. (yelling)
Take it easy, NINA! Get in here!
INT. NINAS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
NINA, FOREHEAD ON DESK, PHONE PINNED TO HER EAR, IS DOING
A POOR JOB OF STIFLING HUGE SOBS. SHES A PRETTY, RAVENHAIRED WOMAN IN HER 30S--BUT JUST NOW LOOKS LIKE A TRAIN
WRECK. ALTHOUGH A FANTASTIC LAWYER, THE REST OF HER LIFE
DOESNT COME AS EASILY. HER PERFECTIONISM AND DRIVE IN
HER WORK SERVE AS A SHIELD FOR HER SHORTCOMINGS IN THE
OTHER AREAS OF HER LIFE.
TRENT (PHONE V.O.)
Im sorry if this upsets you. I just
wanted you to hear it from me.
HER SECRETARY BLYTHE ENTERS HANDING NINA A GLASS OF
CHAMPAGNE.
BLYTHE
(super-excited)
You ready to make partner or what?!
NINA LIFTS HER HEAD. BLYTHE SEES THE MASCARA TEAR TRACKS.
TRENT CAN STILL BE HEARD TALKING ON THE OTHER END.

Trent.

NINA
(mouths)

2.

BLYTHE
(mouthing a scream)
Oh my God!
NINA POINTS TO HER RING FINGER.
NINA
(mouths)
Engaged.
NINA SLAMS THE CHAMPAGNE THEN PANTOMIMES TAKING HER
BEATING HEART OUT OF HER BODY, CRUSHING IT AND THROWING
IT AWAY.
BLYTHE
(mouths)
No no no!
BLYTHE PANTOMIMES PUTTING HER HEART BACK TOGETHER. ITS
STRONG LIKE HER BICEP. SHE PANTOMIMES SOMETHING ELSE,
BUT IT GETS CONVOLUTED.

Huh?

NINA
(mouths)
BLYTHE
(out loud)
Im not a mime. Come on!
NINA
Trent, can I just ask--did you think I
didnt want to get married? Because I
did...want that.
BLYTHE
Dont you dare apologize to that stain!
TRENT (PHONE V.O.)
Nina, everyone is where they should be.
Your career is very important to you-NINA
Yes, but I thought our plan was climb
Career Mountain, then get married on the
summit and conceive a baby made out of
love, happiness and stock options...
Nina...

TRENT (PHONE V.O.)

NINA
Maybe it was worded differently?

3.

Come on!

BLYTHE
NINA
(into phone)
Trent, I have to go. Theyre announcing
who made partner. Your timing, as usual,
is impeccable. And by impeccable, I mean
colossally shitty.
SHE HANGS UP, HEAD BACK DOWN ON DESK, SOBS.
A WORKMAN ENTERS HOLDING A LARGE GOLD PLAQUE.
WORKMAN
Your Corporate Litigators Woman of the
Year Award just came. Where should I
hang it?
NINA
Just nail it into a major artery.
WORKMAN
(without missing a beat)
Ill come back later.
BLYTHE
Just put it with the others.
BLYTHE TAKES THE PLAQUE AND PUTS IT NEXT TO SEVERAL OTHER
AWARDS LEANED UP AGAINST THE WALL OR USED AS
PAPERWEIGHTS.
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
NINA AND BLYTHE WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY.
BLYTHE
Three months after he dumps you and hes
already engaged?!
NINA
I havent even tossed his Right Guard
from my medicine cabinet.
BLYTHE
Is that why you smell like a UPS driver?
NINA
Im outta lady stick. Be nice.

4.

BLYTHE
(cheerleading)
Well you get a pass--youre only working
on the biggest acquisition in the firms
history. And thats why youre about to
be made El Partner-ino.
NINA THROWS A LOOK AT BLYTHE.
BLYTHE (CONTD)
Oh shut up. Of course you are. And you
know what were gonna do after you get
knighted? Bask in the glory of your
jealous peers, then head down to the
Golden Gopher to wade our way through
STACKS of new Trents. By midnight, youre
gonna be rolling with Trent 2.0.
NINA
And right now that Adonis sitting at the
bar saying to his buddy You know what
Im horny for? A newly-minted full
partner of a transactional law firm.
THATS who I want to see naked.
Word.

BLYTHE

INT. LOBBY/FOYER - DAY

NINA ENTERS, QUICKLY POCKETING THE TISSUE SHE USED TO
SWAB HER EYES. SOMEONE HANDS HER ANOTHER CHAMPAGNE GLASS
AND SHE POUNDS IT LIKE A SAILOR.
ALEXANDER
Theres Nina. Lets do this. I want to
take a minute to talk about what sets
this person apart from everyone. Its
more than just a work ethic...
DEBBIE, A YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE BLONDE, SIDLES UP TO NINA.
DEBBIE
(whispers)
Are you just bursting at the seams?
NINA MANAGES A SMILE, THEN SWITCHES GLASSES WITH DEBBIE-HER EMPTY FOR DEBBIES FULL ONE. SHE TAKES A GULP.
ALEXANDER
Oh, screw it. The newest partner of
Schuster-Alexander is...Debbie
Mathersons!

5.

EVERYONE TOASTS AND CLAPS. NINA & DEBBIE STAND SHOCKED.

Me?
No.
Wow--Me?

DEBBIE
NINA
DEBBIE
DEBBIE TIMIDLY LOOKS TO NINA, WHOS UNDERSTANDABLY
SHELLSHOCKED.
NINA
(attempting graciousness)
Wow, Debbie. Uh, congratulations. Im...
happy for you.
DEBBIE
Really, Nina? Because this probably feels
like a surprise, huh?
NINA
It is a surprise. I mean, I dont think
Im the only one thats surprised. Keith,
are you surprised?
KEITH
Oh, um...sure. A pleasant surprise.
NINA
Very diplomatic, Keith. A pleasant
surprise. Debbie, we are so pleasantly
surprised for you. Congratulations.
DEBBIE
Thank you, Nina.
(to the others)
I just want to say-NINA
I mean Debbies a good lawyer, right?
Shes not a bad lawyer. Shes a good
lawyer.
Thank you.

DEBBIE
NINA
A good lawyer, with great breasts.
EVERYONE REACTS, TRIES TO LAUGH AWKWARDLY.

6.

NINA (CONTD)
Whereas with me, you would just go ahead
and flip that. My breasts arent gonna
win any awards...that was my lawyering.
Lots of awards.
(then)
Sorry! Im making this about me, its not
about me, this is your moment. Woo hoo!
Yea, Debbie! Up top!
NINA GIVES DEBBIE AN AWKWARD HIGH FIVE.
DEBBIE
So anyway, I just want to say-NINA
(to MR. ALEXANDER)
SERIOUSLY, though? I havent slept more
than 2 hours a night for the last 5
years, and you pass me over to make
DEBBIE partner?
EVERYONE IS STUNNED, AWKWARD. NINA WALKS AMONG THE
LAWYERS.
NINA (CONTD)
I can see why its not Nancy, she failed
the bar twice. Rick has yet to win a
case, plus he steals toner and sells it
on eBay. But DEBBIE?! I kick Debbies
ASS. I KICK ALL YOUR ASSES!
NINA REACHES THE RECEPTION DESK AND STARTS KNOCKING OFF
OBJECTS AS SHE RANTS.
NINA (CONTD)
I...had...a BOYFRIEND. But I gave my best
years to this place instead of him. And
now I have NO boyfriend. I am NOT
partner. I gave you EVERYTHING for
NOTHING.
WITH THAT, SHE REACHES THE END OF THE DESK, WHERE A
BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF CHIHULY GLASS IS MOUNTED ON A STAND.
CROWD GASPS.
Nina---

ALEXANDER
TOO LATE---SHE FLINGS IT OFF THE DESK, THE MULTI-COLORED
GLASS SHATTERING HORRIBLY ON THE MARBLE FLOOR.

7.

ALEXANDER (CONTD)
Do you realize what you just did?! That
was a Chihuly! A gift from Elton John!
BUT SHES ALREADY GRABBED A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AND IS
HEADED FOR THE ELEVATOR.
NINA
SHUT THE FUCK UP, PETER! You with your
halitosis and your obvious affection for
Debbies tits.
NINA WALKS BY DEBBIE AND FLICKS HER TITS, DEBBIE RECOILS.
NINA (CONTD)
Enjoy them. Dont think I dont know you
havent already.
NINA ENTERS ELEVATOR, PRESSES BUTTON.
NINA (CONTD)
Cuz me and my tiny little tits are going
to the bar to get toilet-huggin drunk.
So fuuuuuuck you.
SHE CLEARLY EXPECTS THE DOORS TO CLOSE. BUT THEY DONT.
BEAT. SHE PUSHES BUTTON AGAIN.
DEBBIE
Its after 5, you have to use your pass
card.
NINA
Oh, right. Thanks.
NINA FISHES OUT HER PASS CARD, SWIPES IT. PRESSES BUTTON.
NINA (CONTD)
SAYONARA, BUTTHOLES!
NOTHING. NO ONE MOVES. NOT EVEN THE STUPID ELEVATOR
DOORS. OH GOD.
NINA (CONTD)
(a new calm)
Wow. I was so angry earlier. Remember
that? So maaaaad. Im sorry. I got upset.
Cmon guys, havent any of you gotten
upset before? Nancy? John, I saw you
crying in your car.
JOHN
I have cancer.

8.

Okay.

NINA
SHE SWIPES CARD SEVERAL TIMES AND FURIOUSLY PUSHES THE
BUTTON. DOORS START TO CLOSE RIDICULOUSLY SLOW. STARES.
ALEXANDER
You realize youll never work in
corporate law again.
THE DOORS ARE NEARLY SHUT.
NINA
Is that right? Watch me! The next job I
get will be TEN TIMES better than this
ass carnival! FUCK ALL OF YOU!
WITH THAT, SHE GIVES A DOUBLE BIRD SALUTE AND HER MIDDLE
FINGERS TRIGGER THE DOOR OPEN. NINA HOLDS BACK A SOB.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE PUBLIC DEFENDERS OFFICE - PRESENT
DAY
CHYRON: Six Months Later
IMPECCABLY DRESSED, NINA STANDS IN A DINGY HALLWAY IN
FRONT OF THE PUBLIC DEFENDERS OFFICE. SHE TAKES A DEEP
BREATH AND OPENS THE DOOR.
INT. PUBLIC DEFENDERS OFFICE, AKA BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS
A LOUD, DINGY OLD OFFICE THATS CAVERNOUS YET
SIMULTANEOUSLY CRAMPED WITH TOO MANY DESKS, CLIENTS AND
LAWYERS SCURRYING ABOUT. ITS THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF HER
OLD FIRM: HERE THE ONLY SEPARATION BETWEEN DESKS ARE
STAGGERING STACKS OF FILES. A LATINO DEFENDER NAMED
CARLOS IS TRYING TO KEEP A COUPLE OF CLIENTS---TWO SHAVEDDOWN, TATTED-UP CHOLOS---FROM GETTING INTO A FIGHT. THEY
ARE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER IN SPANISH. NINA SEES THE
BOSS OFFICE THROUGH THE BEDLAM AND HEADS TOWARDS IT.
INT. BURT PLASCHKES OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
BURT PLASCHKE, A FIFTY-ISH ROCK OF A BALD MAN WITH A
THICK MUSTACHE TALKS HURRIEDLY ON THE PHONE. NINA ENTERS
TENTATIVELY AND TRIES TO GET HIS ATTENTION.
Hi there...

NINA

9.

BURT
(into phone)
I understand that, Henry, but shes a
public defender, not a corrections
officer--(yelling off)
CHERYL!
CHERYL HARRINGTON, A 40-ISH, DOLLED-UP BLONDE STRAIGHT
OUT OF REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SAN BERNADINO, ENTERS.
What?!

CHERYL
BURT
You should be in here explaining to the
warden how you lost his prisoner!
CHERYL
My explanation is apparently when you
leave your prisoner to go pee pee, you
have to tell the guard or they wont
guard, which I thought they do
automatically, but apparently not.
(to NINA)
Great suit! That aint from TJ Maxx.
NINA
No, its not.
(to BURT, cheerfully)
Hello sir, Im Nina Ward. Dont want to
get in your way, just wanted someone to
show me to my office and Ill be ready to
jump right in if you need-CHERYL
Nina Ward? Youre the crazy vase-smashing
lady! Youre a legend!
BURT POINTS TO A MASSIVE STACK OF FILES ON THE CORNER OF
HIS DESK.
BURT
(to NINA)
Thats you. Get going, you got about five
minutes.
(back to phone)
Yeah, Hank, Im still here.
NINA
Im sorry, what? Five minutes to what?

10.

BURT
(annoyed)
Court. These are your cases. Session
starts in five, shake it.
NINA
These are my---Im going to court? I
havent even met my clients.
BURT
(more annoyed)
Youll meet em in court.
NINA
Thats what I thought, right, good a
place as any, wonderful. And once again,
I look forward--BURT
Dont yank my crank, youre here because
kooks like you cant get a job anywhere
else. Just keep a lid on the temper
tantrums, we dont do that here-(into phone)
HENRY, WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU GOD
DAMNED POLACK?
THERE IS A HUGE OUTBURST OUTSIDE THE OFFICE: THE CHOLO
FIGHT HAS ESCALATED INTO A BRAWL, SEVERAL LAWYERS, FAMILY
MEMBERS, ET AL, PILING INTO A HUGE SCRUM OF SHOVING
BODIES. BURT BOLTS PAST THE WOMEN.
BURT (CONTD)
CUT IT OUT! TAKE THAT SHIT OUTSIDE!
PANDEMONIUM AS BODIES GO FLYING, CHAIRS KNOCKED OVER,
PEOPLE FALLING. BURT WADES IN TRYING TO GET PEOPLE APART.
AS NINA STANDS THERE WITH HER HUGE STACK OF FILES, THE
MASS OF PEOPLE IN FRONT OF HER GRADUALLY PARTS TO REVEAL-PHIL QUINLAN, RECLINING CALMLY AT HIS DESK IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE MAYHEM, COFFEE IN ONE HAND AND FOLDED NEWSPAPER IN
THE OTHER. TALK, DARK AND SLACKY. HANDSOME, COULD USE A
SHAVE.
PHIL
Theres the new gal. I heard you went
Margot Kidder and broke a vase over Elton
Johns head.

11.

NINA
What? No, he wasnt even there...Tiny
Dancer was my fav---look, that was an
isolated weird incident, Im just here
to...
PHIL
...pay some dues, play nice, slum it for
a while, in six months earn your way back
into money law?
NINA
(forcing a smile)
Nice to meet you too, Im Nina. And Im
hoping its more like 3 months.
NINA MOVES CLOSER TO HIS DESK, TAKING HIM IN. SHE PICKS
UP A SHINY CARD OFF HIS CLUTTERED DESK.
NINA (CONTD)
And you are...Phil Quinlan. Card-carrying
member of Harrahs Casino Gold Club. This
how you augment your fat county salary?
You know it.

PHIL
THEY SHARE A SMILE.
PHIL (CONTD)
In fact, Ill win a bet right now.
NINA
Yeah? Whats that?
PHIL
Youre gonna be late for court.
NINA
Shit. I mean shoot. Fuck.
NINA SEES THE CLOCK AND DASHES OUT THE DOOR. BEAT. SHE
RUSHES BACK IN, LOOKS AT PHIL.
PHIL
Elevator to the third floor, end of the
hall.
Thanks!

NINA
SHE DASHES BACK OUT. PHIL WATCHES HER LEAVE, CHUCKLES.

12.

INT. COURTROOM 3, LA COUNTY COURTHOUSE - DAY

NINA BOLTS IN THE LARGE DOUBLE DOORS OF THE COURTROOM,
HER FILES STARTING TO SLIP OUT OF HER HAND, LOOKING
AROUND, GETTING HER BEARINGS. THEN THE SMELL HITS HER.
NINA
Oh dear Jesus.
SHE NOTICES THAT MANY OF THE PEOPLE IN THE COURTROOM ARE
HOLDING HANDKERCHIEFS, NAPKINS, ETC. OVER THEIR NOSES.
NINA HEADS FOR THE DEFENSE TABLE.
MICAH, A YOUNG BOYISH WOMAN WITH SHORT PIXIE HAIR AND
MANY PIERCINGS IS AT THE TABLE SORTING THROUGH PAPERS.
MICAH
Are you Nina?
NINA
Yeah, who are--MICAH
Get over here, you got to get pleas from
these guys before we--BAILIFF
(bellowing)
All rise! Court of the County of Los
Angeles now in session, Honorable Don P.
Nelson presiding.
JUDGE
Jesus H. Christ, it smells like baked
crap in here. Trent, did you hit a deer
in the hallway?
TRENT
(chuckling)
No, Your Honor.
NINA FREEZES. SHE KNOWS THIS VOICE TOO WELL. SHE TURNS.
Trent?!

NINA
NINA GOES CATATONIC.

Nina?!
Trent.

TRENT
(as shocked as she is)
NINA

13.

Nina.

TRENT
JUDGE
Trent. Nina. Judge. Court. Plea. NOW.
NINA
Sorry Your Honor, its just...see, Trent
and I used to-Date.

TRENT
Be in love.

NINA

NINA (CONTD)
Date? Im sorry, is that all it was? Just
dating?
JUDGE NELSON
Well, Trent? Is that all it was?
TRENT LOOKS CAUGHT, STARTS TO SPEAK...
JUDGE NELSON (CONTD)
Im kidding, I dont give a shit. Were
in court, people, not on Maury Povich.
Defense, how do you plea?
NINA
Your Honor, short recess? I just need to
go resign.

END ACT I

14.

ACT II
INT. WOMENS BATHROOM - DAY
NINA STANDS AT THE SINK WITH MICAH, SPLASHING WATER ON
HER FACE. THREE BURLY MAINTENANCE MEN ARE IN A STALL
BEHIND HER, SNAKING THE TOILET AND PERIODICALLY GLANCING
BACK AT THE WOMEN.
MICAH
So whats the deal? Can you function?
NINA
Im quitting, thats my deal. If this is
the bottom of the ladder, I need to find
another ladder.
(to MAINTENANCE MEN)
Excuse me, large men? This is the womens
bathroom.
MAINTENANCE MAN #1
Were trying to find the poopy smell.
MICAH
(to NINA)
Look, I dont know you, Ive only heard
of you. People say youre a good lawyer,
I dont care if you smashed Michael
Bolton with a lamp-NINA
ELTON JOHN, and I didnt--Im sorry, who
are you?
Micah.

MICAH
NINA
And you are--?
MICAH
The Secretary of the Interior.
NINA STARES BLANKLY.
MICAH (CONTD)
Im an intern, second year law student
and the only one besides you in that
court room who doesnt want to convict
your client.

15.

NINA
Thats nice. Quick question: is Trent
here every day?
MICAH
Yup. Hes the new Deputy DA. Came in six
months ago and started crushing every
case. Charms all the judges panties off.
NINA
That is in his skill set.
(then)
I cant believe this. I knock over one
little $800,000 vase, and now Im living
in some parallel universe with sewage, my
ex and the girl from Some Kind of
Wonderful riding my ass--Im sure youre
nice-(turning towards WORKMEN)
I mean is this SOME KIND OF COSMIC JOKE?!
WORKMAN #2
...were just trying to find the doo doo
smell.
MICAH
Look, youre a Stanford law grad from a
top firm---thats like this place getting
a number one draft pick. Someone who can
shake things up. Barry Bonds took
steroids till his balls fell off, but
nobody cared because he kept hitting home
runs. Feel me?
NINA
I dont know this Barry fellow, but lets
get back to that quitting thing. So, can
I just tell you, or...?
MICAH
Really? Youre rolling over that easy?
Where I come from, when you get wronged,
you dont give up like some priss, you
get revenge. You fight back. Do some
damage. Trash the place. BE MEMORABLE.
NINA
Well, I do like being memorable. For good
things.
MICAH
Then get back in there. Have your way
with that court. Make it your bitch,
Bitch.

16.

BEAT. NINA TAKES THIS IN.

NINA
You are one spirited little lesbian.
MICAH
Who said Im a lesbian?
NINA
Nobody. Me. I mean not me...I like your
eye ring. Oh look, were back.
SHE WALKS PAST MICAH AND EXITS. MICAH FOLLOWS HER OUT.
INT. COURTROOM 3, LA COUNTY COURTHOUSE - DAY
COURT IS BACK IN SESSION. NINA AND MICAH ENTER.
JUDGE NELSON
Are we still on the payroll here?
NINA
Yes, thank you Your Honor.
SHE QUICKLY TURNS TO THE GROUP OF (MOSTLY MINORITY)
DEFENDANTS BEHIND HER FOR A FRANTIC POW-WOW.
Hector?
Yes?

NINA (CONTD)
HECTOR
NINA
(reading file)
Charged with...ohhh, you stuffed your
wife in the chimney?
HECTOR
I dont have a chimney.
NINA
Did you stuff your wife in someone elses
chimney?
HECTOR
I dont have a wife.
NINA
Is that because shes dead in a chimney?
HECTOR
No. I am drunk driving. Hector Vasquez.

17.

MICAH QUICKLY HANDS NINA ANOTHER FILE.

MICAH
Here, the files mislabeled.
NINA
Sure, why wouldnt it be?
JUDGE NELSON
(bellowing)
Lets boogie! How does the defendant
plead?
NINA
Not guilty, Your Honor.
THE JUDGE STOPS WRITING AND LOOKS UP AT NINA. SO DO TRENT
AND MICAH.
Really.

JUDGE NELSON
NINA
What? Maybe hes not guilty. It happens.
TRENT
The People request Mr. Vasquez be held
without bail, this is his 3rd DUI
offense.
NINA
Defense requests minimal bail, as this
man poses no serious threat.
TRENT
Except for the part where he drives
drunk, nearly killing people.
JUDGE NELSON
So ordered, bail is revoked. Next!
NINA
Whoa, whoah. Thats it? What about
treatment options for his drinking?
TRENT SCOFFS.
NINA (CONTD)
Eh, youre scoffing. I used to hate that.
Its so condescending. And why should
Hector go to jail? You didnt do time
after the Sullivan wedding when you drove
the car onto the lawn and declared
yourself the King of Awesome.

18.

TRENTS EYES WIDEN. NINA STARES RIGHT BACK.

JUDGE NELSON
Ooo, its like Hart to Hart: ...and when
they met, it was moyder! Next case...
SLOW CROSS-FADE OF THE 17 DEFENDANTS WHOVE BEEN DENIED
BAIL AND LEAD BACK TO JAIL...JUST ONE REMAINING.
NINA SITS AT THE DEFENSE TABLE, EXASPERATED. PISSED.
NINA
(to MICAH)
What is the deal with this judge? Does
bail even exist in his mind as a legal
concept?
MICAH
Welcome to the machine. You got one more.
Hey...
NINA TURNS TO MICAH, WHO GIVES HER A LITTLE FIST SIGN,
FIGHT FOR THIS GUY.
NINA
All right, this ones going home.
JUDGE NELSON
Okay, People vs. Hector Solanzo. Murder
in the 1st degree.
Oh, fuck me.

NINA
TRENT
Request bail be revoked due to the
heinous nature of this crime.
NINA
Well, being that Ive been able to review
the case for all of 45 seconds, is there
any actionable evidence against my
client?
TRENT
Mr. Solanzos wife was found stuffed in
the chimney of the residence they shared.
NINA
She could have put herself there.
TRENT
She had been stabbed repeatedly with a
screwdriver belonging to Mr. Solanzo.

19.

NINA
Good to know.
JUDGE
Bail is revoked, defendant is remanded,
Im going to get some oxygen. Court
reconvenes at 2 p.m.
HE BANGS GAVEL. EVERYONE GETS UP TO LEAVE.
NINA
Well. I batted a thousand. They all just
went right back to jail. Did I even need
to be here?
TRENT STEPS OVER TO THE DEFENSE SIDE.
Nina...

TRENT
STARTLED, NINA SPINS AROUND.
TRENT (CONTD)
Looks like were gonna be working
together a lot, so if theres anything--NINA
If theres anything what? I dont have
anything. For you. From me. Anymore.
Maybe your fiance does. Is that what you
meant? Okay. Good talk.
NINA TRIES TO LOOK ASSERTIVE AS SHE WALKS AWAY.
INT. VENDING MACHINES - DAY
NINA IS STRUGGLING TO FEED A DOLLAR BILL INTO A VENDING
MACHINE. SHE PUSHES THE BUTTON. NOTHING COMES OUT.
NINA
Oh, of course. OF COURSE.
SHE REARRANGES THE STUFF IN HER ARMS SO SHE CAN PUSH
AGAINST THE MACHINE. PHIL QUINLAN ENTERS, A LEISURELY
SWAGGER.
PHIL
What you say there, rook? Little
breakfast of champions? Were all going
to lunch, come with us.

20.

NINA
No thanks, I just left the citys
impoverished completely hung out to dry.
I dont deserve lunch. How do you do this
everyday?
SHE PRESSES THE BUTTON AGAIN, FRUSTRATED.
PHIL
Ahh, you just had your first public
defender massacre.
NINA WHACKS THE MACHINE A COUPLE OF TIMES.
PHIL (CONTD)
Is that machine talking smack to you? You
gonna pop a cap in its ass?
SHE MANAGES A WEARY SMILE.
NINA
I just need to eat something, Im
starving, I put my money in, everythings
broken here.
(then, pointing to court)
Its like a public lynching in there!
SHE HITS THE MACHINE A COUPLE MORE TIMES.
PHIL
You know what might help? Free corn nuts.
PHIL STEPS IN, THUMPS THE MACHINE. NOTHING. HE FAKE SPITS
INTO HIS HANDS, SMILING AT NINA PLAYFULLY. HE THUMPS IT
AGAIN. NOTHING.
PHIL (CONTD)
Ahhh, my Fonzies not working...
PHIL THEN LOOKS OFF, BEHIND NINA, AS IF HE SEES
SOMETHING.
PHIL (CONTD)
Whoa. Dont look, theres a man
defecating against the wall.
NINA LOOKS BEHIND HER. PHIL QUICKLY FEEDS A BUCK INTO THE
MACHINE.
PHIL (CONTD)
I said not to look! Why would you look at
that? Sick! You into that stuff?
NINA SMILES AT HIM, IN SPITE OF HERSELF.

21.

NINA
Look, nevermind. I need to go review my
cases. Thanks for trying.
PHIL
Hold on, hold on-PHIL THUMPS THE KEYPAD, WHICH IS LOADED WITH HIS DOLLAR,
AND A SNICKERS FALLS FROM ITS PERCH. NINAS MILDLY
IMPRESSED.
Boom.

PHIL (CONTD)
BUT THE SNICKERS HAS GOTTEN STUCK ON THE LAST SHELF.
NINA
Perfect. Bye.
PHIL
Wait, I got this. Ill just reach under-SUDDENLY NINA UNLEASHES A FURIOUS PUNCH RIGHT INTO THE
PLEXIGLASS, WHICH FRACTURES INTO SEVERAL PIECES. A LOWPITCHED BUZZER STARTS TO PULSATE LOUDLY. THEY FREEZE.
PHIL (CONTD)
Im sensing a pattern here.

Oops.

NINA
(guiltily)
PHIL CALMLY PUTS HIS ARM AROUND NINAS SHOULDERS AND
EASES HER TOWARDS THE EXIT.
PHIL
Elton John gave us that vending machine.
NINA
(unamused)
You dont say.
INT. DON GUARDOS BAR - DAY
DON GUARDOS BAR IS PACKED WITH PUBLIC DEFENDERS,
INCLUDING BURT, CHERYL AND CARLOS. NO ONES EATING.
THEYRE ALL DRINKING NOONERS, WORKING ON BRIEFS,
TALKING ON CELLS, ETC. NINA & PHIL ENTER.
NINA
Something tells me I cant get a salad
here.

22.

PHIL
They have olives. Whats your poison?
NINA
Its 12:15, I dont want to drink. I want
food.
PHIL
Work at this job a while, youll drink
when you have the chance. Cmon Golden
Gloves, one drink.
NINA
You talk like a date rapist. Diet Coke.
10 olives.
ANGLE ON: CHERYL, BURT AND CARLOS SITTING AT ANOTHER
TABLE, IN MID-CONVERSATION.
CHERYL
(to NINA, loudly)
OH MY GOD, YOU SLEPT WITH TRENT BARBER!
NINA visibly shrinks.
Already?!

CARLOS
NINA
Is there any Nina gossip out there about
my good qualities? Hey, Ninas got good
credit...Nina has small pores...
CHERYL
You kidding? Id love it if people
imagined me sleeping with a guy like
Trent.
BURT
Come on, Im trying to drink.
PHIL
I dont think Square Jaw is going to be
around long enough for you to wear him
down. Hes only shoring up his resume
before he runs for office.
CARLOS
Yeah, do some tough on crime time,
throw some minorities in jail, you get
elected.
CHERYL
Yep. If youre brown, youre going down.

23.

CARLOS
(to CHERYL)
No, see--you dont get to say that. I can
say that, but you cannot say that. Ever.
NINA
So thats it. Makes sense, why else would
he work in this God forsaken crap ditch?
(off their looks)
No offense. Parts of it are lovely. In a
Guantanamo Bay kind of way.
PHIL
(catching olives in mouth)
The systems not designed for us to win.
Too many clients, not enough resources-CHERYL
(oblivious)
Dont worry, hon. I cant keep a man
around to save my life.
BURT
Especially if hes a prisoner in your
custody.
CHERYL
Oh, shut up and drink your prune juice.
He cant get that far, hes got those
itty bitty legs.
CARLOS GIVES CHERYL ANOTHER WARNING LOOK.
BURT
(to CHERYL)
You better hope that guy turns up in an
ICE raid or a dumpster, or youre gonna
be the one in front of the grand jury
explaining how you lost him.
CHERYL
Ill bet you a thousand dollars he turns
up within 24 hours.
BURT
Youre on. Have it in cash.
THE OTHERS REACT TO CHERYL AND BURT SHAKING ON IT,
WHOOAAH!. PHIL THROWS A TWENTY DOWN.
PHIL
Hell-ooo, I got twenty on Burt.
THE OTHERS LOOK AT PHIL.

24.

PHIL (CONTD)
Guys, its twenty bucks.
CHERYL
Philly? Havent you been going to your
meetings?
PHIL
(ignoring her)
Nina, you want in on this action?
NINA GATHERS UP HER STUFF.
NINA
No, thanks. I dont have a drinking or a
gambling problem.
PHIL
Judge-y. Where you going, Capn No Fun?
NINA
Im going to go talk to my clients.
Because Im going to win a case today.
Because thats what lawyers do. Im not
going to look like an ass in court again.
PHIL
Ill look at your ass in court again.
NINA
Wow. You spun that into gold.
SHE THEN GRABS A HANDFUL OF OLIVES OUT OF HER DIET COKE
AND SHOVES THEM IN HER MOUTH.
NINA (CONTD)
(to PHIL)
Thanks for lunch.
THEY WATCH HER GO.
PHIL
Fiery. Thats gotta get old, right?
INT. COURTROOM 3, LA COUNTY COURTHOUSE - DAY
THE COURTROOM BUZZES WITH ACTIVITY BEFORE THE AFTERNOON
SESSION BEGINS. NINA APPROACHES THE BAILIFF, MORRIS, AN
ENORMOUS BLACK MAN.

25.

NINA
I need to see my client-(checking her paperwork.)
Juanita Cordona.
MORRIS
I do not know her present location.
NINA
Juanita Cordona has a hearing and I am
her attorney, I need to see her. Now.
MORRIS
Maam, you do not run this place, I run
this place. And I decide who you see and
whom you do not see.
NINA SOFTENS, SMILES SHEEPISHLY.
NINA
Listen, Im sorry. Im not trying to be
confrontational. This has been the worst
day of my life. I mean just...surreal.
BAILIFF JUST STARES AT HER.
NINA (CONTD)
Really, Nina? How can I help? Okay,
Ill tell you how. Do you know what
habeus corpus means? It means show me
the body. It means show me Juanita
Cordona, whether shes in a cell or a
closet or the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, or
Ill have a federal judge break his leg
off in your ass, and you can try getting
another job in law enforcement with a
civil rights violation on your resume.
PHIL AND CHERYL ENTER THE COURTROOM AND SEE NINA.
CHERYL
(to PHIL)
Aww, did we miss the crazy show?
MORRIS
(to NINA)
That was a very compelling argument. Do
you know what the word bailiff means?
Its Latin for every time you set foot
in here, it would behoove you to make me
feel very, very pretty. Or you will not
enjoy this job on a plethora of levels.
(then, suddenly)
ALL RISE!

26.

NINA JUMPS, STARTLED. CHAMBER DOORS FLING OPEN AND JUDGE

NELSON GOES TO THE BENCH. NINA STORMS UP TO THE BENCH.
NINA
Judge, I need to see my client and--JUDGE NELSON
IF YOU EVER approach my bench again
without permission, I will ship you to
Pelican Bay in a Hefty bag. Get out of my
face.
NINA, STUNNED, SLINKS BACK TO DEFENSE TABLE.
CHERYL
(to PHIL)
Nope. Crazy shows just starting.

END ACT II

27.

ACT III
INT. COURTROOM 3, LA COUNTY COURTHOUSE - DAY
COURT IS IN SESSION. SEVERAL PUBLIC DEFENDERS ARE SEATED
BEHIND THE DEFENSE TABLE AS CHERYL MAKES AN OPENING
STATEMENT TO THE COURT, AN ORNATE SILK SCARF TIED AROUND
HER MOUTH AND NOSE LIKE A BANDIT.
A GROUP OF MAINTENENCE MEN IN COVERALLS AND POLLEN MASKS
ARE IN THE GALLERY, USING A LONG WOODEN POLE TO TAP THE
CEILING, OSTENSIBLY TO SEARCH FOR DEAD ANIMALS IN THE
CRAWLSPACE. THEIR LOUD TAPPING CAN BE HEARD THROUGHOUT
THE PROCEEDINGS.
TRENT, SITTING COOLLY AT THE DAS TABLE, STEALS A GLANCE
AT NINA AS SHE SITS DOWN IN BETWEEN PHIL AND MICAH.
CHERYL
So...the prosecutors argument that my
client, Mr...
SHE TURNS BACK AND READS THE NAME OUT OF THE FILE.
CHERYL (CONTD)
Gardner? Garnier? was deliberately trying
to run over...the other guy...is a lie.
Trent
Objection. Bias.
JUDGE
Sustained. Continue.
TAP-TAP-TAP...
PHIL
(to NINA, re: Trent)
Let me ask you something. Why him? Why
that? Hes got about as much empathy as a
mako shark. What made you say thats who
I want?
NINA
Look at him. Hes a Trent. When a Trent
likes you, you just like him back. You
dont ask why. Its like a reflex.
PHIL
Like gagging.
NINA
I cant do this. This is gonna kill me.

28.

PHIL
Stop wallowing.
NINA
Whos wallowing? Clearly the universe is
giving me every conceivable sign to get
out of here. Its like The Shining.
PHIL
Look, I get it. You didnt make partner.
I know you liked the glass and marble and
the money and the country club lifestyle,
who the hell wouldnt? But I dont think
thats you.
NINA
Oh, I could make it me.
CHERYL LIFTS HER SCARF, TAKES OUT GUM, PUTS IT ON A FILE.
CHERYL
We will prove, Your Honor, that my client
not only did not commit this crime, but
is owed a huge apology. For real.
TRENT
Objection. Thats just stupid.
JUDGE
Overruled. Agreed, but overruled.
TAP-TAP-TAP...
PHIL
What Im saying is: what if this is what
youre supposed to be doing? Youre a
fighter.
NINA
All lawyers are fighters.
MICAH
These jackwagons? No. At one time Phil
actually was. Talented, passionate. But
he let the tide take him under. Now hes
on autopilot, permanently mediocre.
PHIL
Im sitting right here. What Micahs so
tactfully trying to say is--That meltdown
you had at your old job? Its legendary.
Know why?

29.

MICAH
--because everybody in this place wishes
they had the BALLS to take a stand like
that. And I dont know if you noticed,
but this operation is FUBAR. It needs
balls.
NINA
Look, I appreciate your faith in my
testicles, but you dont get it...
PHIL
Oh, I get it. Youd go back to corporate
law in a second if anyoned hire you. You
wanna practice the law youre good at, in
a place that doesnt smell like a
dumpster full of bad clams. And I want to
race in the Indy 500. But I lost my car
in a parlay wager over the Yankees/Reds
series-NINA
Im sure theres a point here...
PHIL
You wanna win so bad? Go win. Win here.
Wipe that smirk of Trents face.
NINA
Its not a smirk. Hes just handsome.
PHIL
Whatever. Go knock his ass out of the
box. Beat the system.
NINA
Im not a crusader-PHIL
--then win for yourself.
BEAT.
NINA
So on my first day of my new job Ive
failed every client, gotten a pep talk
about winning from a guy who gambled away
his car and a sermon on testes from The
Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. This day
officially could not get more surrea-CRAAACK-CRASSHHHHHHHH.

30.

THE CEILING ABOVE THE WORKERS EXPLODES AND A MASSIVE

CLOUD OF DEBRIS SHOWERS DOWN INTO THE BENCHES OF THE
GALLERY. GASPS AND SCREAMS FROM AROUND THE COURTROOM.
THEN SILENCE.
THROUGH THE DUST, WE REVEAL WHAT HAS FALLEN THROUGH THE
CEILING---A DEAD GUY IN AN ORANGE JAIL JUMPSUIT.
CHERYL
THERE HE IS!
(mouths to Defenders table)
Pay up, motha-suckas!
INT. COURTROOM 3, LA COUNTY COURTHOUSE - LATER
NINA SITS AT THE DEFENSE TABLE WHICH IS STACKED WITH
FILES. THE GIANT HOLE IN THE CEILING LOOMS ABOVE. THE
GALLERY BEHIND HER IS A WEB OF YELLOW TAPE AND ORANGE
CONES.
Judge Nelson
Okay, people. Almost martini time. People
vs...Juanita Cordona. Shoplifting. Plea?
JUANITA, A LATINA WOMAN IN HANDCUFFS, IS LED UP TO THE
DEFENSE TABLE. NINA LOOKS AT HER FILE.
NINA
(to JUANITA)
Shoplifting diapers? So you have kids.
JUANITA NODS.
NINA (CONTD)
Whos watching them right now, husband?
JUANITA
No, he left...he say I work too much.
NINA
I know that song.
JUDGE NELSON
Miss Ward, whats the plea?
SHE LOOKS OVER TO TRENT, WHO COOLLY GOES ABOUT HIS
PAPERWORK. SHE LOOKS TO JUANITA, THEN BACK TO THE JUDGE.
NINA
You know what? From the looks of
her...shes probably guilty.

31.

Como?!

JUANITA
JUDGE NELSON
Very well. Bail?
TRENT
Request bail of five hundred-TRENT LOOKS AT NINA, BACKS OFF A BIT.
TRENT (CONTD)
People defer to counsel.
JUDGE NELSON
Really? Thats sweet of you, Trent.
(to NINA)
Counsel, where should I put bail?
NINA
Seventy. Million. Dollars.
JUANITA LOOKS AGHAST. PHIL LOOKS AT MICAH. OH SHIT.
JUDGE NELSON
(looking down at file)
For a shoplifting charge?
NINA
Cmon. Shes Mexican. We all know she did
it. Seventy million bucks.
EVERYONE STARES AT NINA. TRENT RISES SLIGHTLY.
TRENT
The People have no problem with that.
JUDGE NELSON
Shut up, Trent. Miss Ward, youre not
about to have one of your little episodes
are you? Should I duct tape the windows?
NINA
Oh right! Cause Im crazy. Not at all.
Hell, this job is easy-peasy, lemon
squeezy. I dont need to actually TALK to
these people before I help decide their
fate.
(to JUANITA)
I mean, youre guilty, right?
JUANITA
Ummm, excuse me, can I talk to a
different lawyer?!

32.

NINA
Your Honor, we can throw this one back in
the pokey. Plenty of room. Its not like
people are dying to get out of there--AT THAT MOMENT SHE LOOKS UP AT THE HOLE IN THE CEILING.
NINA (CONTD)
(pretend grimace)
Whoops. Too soon?
JUDGE NELSON
(no longer amused)
Miss Ward, its your first day here. But
I will hold you in contempt.
NINA
Im already in contempt...of a system
that looks at a mom who allegedly stole
diapers as a violent menace to society
and wants to keep her in jail. Call me
crazy, but at least where I came from we
were practicing LAW. This is like a slow
motion hate crime.
PHIL
(to MICAH)
Man, she really knows how to quit a job.
Blaze of fuckin glory.
NINA
She didnt steal liquor or jewelry or
drugs. She stole diapers. So please: get
this violent nutjob off the street.
Juanita, can you afford 70 mil?
No.

JUANITA
NINA
Can you afford 70 dollars?
JUANITA
No. If I had 70 dollars Id buy diapers.
NINA
(to JUDGE)
Then whats the diff?
JUDGE STARES KNIVES INTO NINA. SHE STARES RIGHT BACK AT
HIM. EVERYONE HOLDS THEIR BREATH. A MEXICAN STANDOFF.
(SORRY.) A PIN DROPS.

33.

JUDGE NELSON
Gimme a number.
NINA
One.
TRENT
Million? People concur.
One dollar.

NINA
JUDGE NELSON
One dollar. For bail.
NINA
Yep. 17 dollars less than the diapers she
allegedly stole.
JUDGE NELSON LOOKS AT HER.
JUDGE NELSON
Okay, Ms. Ward. Considering a dead man
fell out of my ceiling today, Im feeling
generous. Well do it your way. But when
Consuela winds up back here in three
weeks for doing the same thing, were
gonna do it my way. Got that, Braveheart?
Bail set at one dollar.
YES!!!

NINA
NINA QUICKLY FISHES INTO HER POCKET, PULLS OUT A CRUMPLED
DOLLAR BILL AND SLAPS IT DOWN ON THE TABLE--POP! IT
STARTLES EVERYONE IN THE ROOM.
NINA (CONTD)
Bail is PROFFERED. BOOYA KASHAAA! I won a
case!
(to MORRIS)
Unhitch her!
MORRIS LUMBERS OVER TO JUANITA AND UNCUFFS HER.
You are
VAMOS A
justice
goalie,

NINA (CONTD)
going HOME tonight, muchacha!
CASA! Yesss! In your FACE,
system! Slipped one past the
Trent-o.

SHE REACHES OVER AND MUSSES TRENTS HAIR. TRENT RECOILS.

PHIL CANT HIDE HIS SHIT-EATING GRIN.

34.

MICAH GUFFAWS, A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY. BURT BURIES HIS HEAD

IN HIS HANDS. JUDGE NELSON IS EXITING TO HIS CHAMBERS.
JUDGE
(to TRENT)
Looks like your job just got very
interesting, Trent-o.
TRENT TRIES TO SMILE, BUT IS CLEARLY PISSED.
INT. COURTHOUSE ELEVATOR - NIGHT
NINA IS ON THE ELEVATOR GOING DOWN. IT STOPS ON THE FIRST
FLOOR, DOORS OPEN...THERE STANDS TRENT, BRIEFCASE IN
HAND, JACKET OVER HIS ARM. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER FOR A
BEAT. TRENT THEN COMES ABOARD.
DOORS CLOSE. THEY RIDE IN AWKWARD SILENCE. ELEVATOR
STOPS. DOORS OPEN AND HE STEPS THROUGH, BUT HOLDS THE
DOORS OPEN.
TRENT
Look, Im sorry its been a difficult--NINA
No no no, you do not get to pity me. If
youre uncomfortable with me around,
tough titty.
TRENT
Im fine with it.
NINA
Oh, youre not fine, Trent. You lost
today. A dinky little shoplifting charge,
but I KNOW you: it burns your ass. You
want control. Over everything. I wasnt
malleable enough, so you found someone
who is. Congratulations. But youre not
going to have control here, Trent,
because I like winning.
SHE PUSHES THE BUTTON. TRENT REMOVES HIS HAND FROM DOOR.
NINA (CONTD)
(re: courtroom)
So you LOSE...
(re: herself)
...and you LOSE.
A BEAT AS THEY BOTH STAND THERE. SHE PUSHES THE BUTTON
AGAIN. BEAT. NOTHING.

35.

NINA (CONTD)
Jesus, I hate these things.
TRENT CALMLY TAKES OUT HIS KEY CARD, LEANS IN---COMING
UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO NINA---AND SWIPES IT ACROSS THE
CODE AREA. THAT SCENT OF HIS. ELEVATOR BEEPS. HE STEPS
BACK OUT.
TRENT
Nina, you are a beautiful, brilliant
woman. Its not that you werent enough.
Its that youre too much. I dont want
someone I can control. I want someone who
can control themselves. And I dont think
Im alone on that one.
HE WALKS OFF. NINA IS FROZEN. ELEVATOR DOORS START TO
SLOWLY CLOSE. JUST AS THE DOORS SHUT, SHE SAYS QUICKLY...
NINA
Stupid idiot says what--CUT TO:
INT. DON GUARDOS BAR - NIGHT
ALL THE DEFENDERS ARE AT THE BAR.
CHERYL
(singing, pointing at BURT)
Loser loser loser! You are a loooser!
Sweet Jesus.

BURT
CHERYL
THOUSAND BUCKS, BUDDY! And you can make a
down payment on what you owe me by buying
everyone here a drink.
(to BARTENDER)
Set em up, Ralphie! A toast!
BURT
We shouldnt be celebrating. Somebody
died today.
(then, to NINA)
And you, theres a thin line between
gutsy and reckless. Service your clients
and go home. You dont need a Howitzer to
shoot a pigeon.
(then, hint of a smile)
...but its a good start.

36.

CHERYL
OKAY, CHEERS!
ALL THE DEFENDERS TAKE DRINKS AND DO A BIG TOAST.
ANGLE ON THE CLINKING GLASSES PARTING TO REVEAL-PHIL SITTING AT THE END OF THE BAR. HES SMILING AT NINA.
SHE GRABS HER WINE AND HEADS OVER TO HIM.
NINA
You sulking cause you bet on Burt?
No, I won.
Hows that?

PHIL
NINA
PHIL
I did a parlay--a little thing we
degenerate gamblers do. I doubled down
that youd get one over on Trent today. I
had a hunch about you.
A hunch, eh?

NINA
PHIL
Sure. I gotta say, watching you up there
gave me something to believe in again.
Reminded me why were all here. To fight
for people who need us. Thank you.
HE SMILES. SHE CANT HELP BUT RETURN IT.
NINA
Well, I was just doing what I was trained
to-(realizing)
--wait, are you fucking with me?
PHIL LETS OUT A CHUCKLE.
PHIL
Oh, yeah. Boy are you starved for
validation. You should have seen your
face! Oh, I inspired you? Oh, oh...
That was fantastic. Ive got your number.
Could make a lot off a mark like you.
NINA SHAKES HER HEAD, SMILING AS SHE WALKS AWAY.

37.

NINA
I dont see that gambling problem going
away anytime soon.
PHIL
Its not a problem when you win.
NINA DOWNS HER DRINK.
NINA
It definitely helps.
PHIL SMILES AS NINA JOINS THE REST OF THE PDS DRINKING,
LAUGHING, UNWINDING...
BLACKOUT. END OF SHOW.