Snapshots #358: A Top Ten Songs For Your Wedding Day

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bring together ten songs you'll need for your wedding day playlist...

 

10. Surprised by Sixx. 

Nikki Sixx is the lead singer of Mötley Crüe. A surprise is usually quite sudden.

Nikki Sudden – Wedding Hotel

9. Michael Caine was a bit of a stud.

Michael Caine was Jack Carter.

Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine - Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bride

8. In this universe, I have the right to remain silent.

The right to remain silent is the Fifth Amendment... in this dimension, at least.

Fifth Dimension – Wedding Bells Blues

7. Telephone, post, despatch.

They are all red boxes.

Red Box – Speeches

6. The Light, Four, Mr. Fox.

The Light Fantastic, Fantastic Four and Fantastic Mr. Fox.

The Fantastics - Something Old, Something New

5. Were Jack's stripes mean or median?

Were The White Stripes an average band?

Average White Band – Cut The Cake

4. Like a Smith: beautiful, and young at heart.

Patti Smith, la belle and the Bluebells...

Patti Labelle & The Blue Belles – Down The Aisle

3. They performed on the Hill, for the Baker, and at the Coronation.

A band for Hill Street, Baker Street and Coronation Street...

Streetband - Toast

2. Mixture used to heal demons.  

"Heal demons" was an anagram...

The Lemonheads - Confetti

1. Release your suffering. 

Free da pain!

Freda Payne - Band of Gold

If any of you know cause or just impediment why Snapshots should no return next Saturday, speak now... or forever hold thy peace.

Snapshots #252: A Top Twelve Signs Of The Zodiac Songs

The Zodiac is all about reading the stars in the sky... so here's David Starsky...

Look, I couldn't find a picture of Mystic Meg with a camera, all right?

Well done if you predicted the ten artists below... 

12. Roman Empire, Berlin Wall, House of Usher.

The Fall of...

The Fall - Two Librans

11. Inside the house, Charles still gets a tan, somehow.

Inside the house, Charles still gets a tan, somehow.

The Charlatans - Taurus Moaner

10. Heroic Bum. 

Supertramp - Aries

9. Perception minus commodities.

Sense less things.

Senseless Things - Leo

8. Muddled, in a moron's RV.

"In a moron's RV", muddled up, gives you...

Van Morrison - Virgo Clowns

7. Sven Magnus Øen Carlsen and Barry Allen feel all pent up.

Sven Magnus Øen Carlsen is the current world chess champion.

Barry Allen is The Flash. (Look it up.)

If you feel all pent up, you're angry. Pent also means five, as in pentagram.

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious 5 - Scorpio

With Metal Mickey on guest vocals.

6. Bloody emus!

Anagram!

Moody Blues - Gemini Dream

5. Rubber Duck.

See Convoy.

Kris Kristofferson - Jesus Was A Capricorn

4. Instigator of Temptation.

One of the founding members of the Temptations.

Eddie Kendricks - Son of Sagittarius

3. Gregorian Horse.

Anagram!

George Harrison - Pisces Fish

2. Colin Firth hates them.

Regular readers will get the reference.

Eels - Cancer For The Cure

1. Height, width, depth, time...

Height, width, depth, time... are the first four dimensions. As I'm not a physicist, I'm not going to try to explain the 5th.

The Fifth Dimension - Age of Aquarius

The stars tell me there will be more of this nonsense next week.