Showing posts with label Haywains. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Haywains. Show all posts

Monday, 15 April 2024

Cnut Songs #26: Boy Racers

King Cnut could not hold back the tide, and I cannot hold back society's full-throttle descent into dystopia. All I can do is watch helplessly from the sidelines, and nod my head sagely when others hold a mirror up to the madness. 

We live on top of a moor looking down on the picturesque Yorkshire town jumped-up village of Holmfirth. By the way, before I begin today's rant, I discovered my first Holmfirth song earlier this week...

The Watersons - The Holmfirth Anthem

I do like folk music, but that's probably a bit too folky even for me. And it makes the town village sound even more yokely than Last of the Summer Wine managed, which is going some. We are way more cosmopolitan than the Watersons give us credit for. The police were called to investigate a couple of weekends back because some Huddersfield gangster fired a gun outside one of the local hostile-ries. They shut the road for over 24 hours while forensic teams combed the area for a bullet. I'm not sure they found it, but they probably found lots of dog shit. Clearly we're less sedate than Chatteris...

Car crime's low, gun crime's lower,
The town hall band CD, it's a grower,
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce,
Although there was a drive by shouting once.

Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris

I'm getting sidetracked. Today's post isn't about local gun-toting hoodlums... if it's about hoodlums of a different variety.

Morrissey - Boy Racer

The Haywains - Boy Racers a Go Go

Squid - Boy Racers

The Wolfhounds - Boy Racers, Rm1

Metronomy - Boy Racers

Boyracer - I've Got It And It's Not Worth Having

Who knew there could be so many songs relating to this particular kind of social irritant? 

Do I need to add much more? We live up on top of a moor, and though the road that passes our house is just a link connecting two main roads, the boy racers still love to floor their pedals as they pass us by. I'll never understand this, or why your car needs more than one exhaust pipe, or why you prefer a car that rumbles like a jackhammer. If my car made that kind of noise, I'd be taking it to the garage. 

Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't just to whinge about boy racers. It's to highlight another excellent song by Wolves of Glendale. Be warned, I will probably find any excuse to feature this band over the next few months. Those of you who feel that comedy and popular music should never mix, feel free to look away now. The rest of you... well, all I can add is that Louise generally has very little time for much of the music I feature on this blog, but she loves this. Then again, she hates boy racers even more than I do. Here's a tip - don't switch it off until it's well past the 90 second mark...



Sunday, 21 May 2023

Snapshots #293: A Top Ten Boyband Songs (sort of)


This I Promise You: I'll Never Stop Snapshots as long as you keep playing along. And if you're struggling for the answers, It's Gonna Be Me who reveals them, along with the Music Of My Heart.

Yeah, I had to look up the song titles of good old Justin Trousersnake's band too... I guess I'm just not NSYNC with a lot of these boy bands...


10. He Felt different in new material...

That's Lawrence. He was in Felt. Then he changed to...

Denim - The Osmonds

And if you're going to get picky and tell me that Marie wasn't a boy, well, I did my research, and Marie wasn't really in The Osmonds. She had a solo career and duetted with Donny, but "the group had its best-known configurations as a quartet (billed as the Osmond Brothers) and a quintet (as the Osmonds)." 

The Osmonds - Crazy Horses

To be fair, it feels like cheating, including Crazy Horses.  

9. A Stewart is a Scott.

Patrick Stewart + F. Scott Fitzgerald gives us...

Patrik Fitzgerald - The Backstreet Boys

Backstreet Boys - Everybody (Backstreet's Back)

8. The People's Fiend.

Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke

911 - Bodyshakin' 

Obviously Chuck and Flavor were not fans.

7. Crowd of kilts.

This was a band put together by Nick Lowe and Rat Scabies as a way of helping Nick get out of his record contract. 

The Tartan Horde - Bay City Rollers, We Love You

Bay City Rollers - Bye Bye Baby

6. This sounds like Rachel's.

Rachel's sounds like Ray Charles, to these aging ears...

Ray Charles - Busted

Busted - Year 3000

My favourite of the boy bands featured today.

5. Living next door to a howler.

Living Next Door To Alice, who's a real Wolf...

Wolf Alice - Bros

Bros - When Will I Be Famous?

4. How you might greet Bruce, John and Jeff.

Hey, Waynes!

The Haywains - New Kids On The Block

New Kids On The Block - You Got It (The Right Stuff)

3. Enoch, Jill, Tim: Amalgamated.

Amalgamate the letters from Enoch, Jill, Tim and you can spell out...

Joni Mitchell - Blue

Blue - If You Come Back

2. Mind them.

Mind the gap!

The Gap Band - Big Fun

Big Fun - Blame It On The Boogie

1. In demand. Sort of.

One anagram of demand is... Damned!

The Damned - Take That



Bye Bye Bye... till next Saturday.

Sunday, 14 February 2021

Saturday Snapshots #176: A Top Ten Knife Songs


A Top Ten Knife Songs, you say? Why, I wouldn't harm a fly...


10. My saraband is all tangled up.

"My saraband" untangled is...

Bryan Adams - Cuts Like A Knife

9. Single American bell feels wrath over Star Trek.

A single bell might go Ding... if it was American, you can add US to that.

The Star Trek crew felt the Wrath of Khan.

Dingus Khan - Knifey Spoon

8. Aah, Roddie, you're so confused.

"Aah, Roddie", less confused, is...

Radiohead - Knives Out

7. Forbidden fruit for green princess.

The green princess is Fiona...

...the forbidden fruit was an apple.

Fiona Apple - Hot Knife

6. I swing both ways.

I'm AC/DC, baby!

AC/DC - Night of the Long Knives

5. Country George in a bad way.

Country George would be George Strait... in a dire situation.

Dire Straits - Six Blade Knife

4. Are these your paintings, Constable?

John Constable painted The Haywain...

The Haywains - Let's Twist! (The Knife In My Heart)

3. Without his cape, he's just an ordinary...

Clark, without his cape, is just an ordinary guy...

Guy Clark - The Randall Knife

2. Gentlemen prefer Tall Sally.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes... like Long Tall Sally.

The Long Blondes - A Knife For The Girls

1. See Jamaica, the moon above... it's a bit of a stretch.


"See Jamaica, the moon above," is a lyric from Louie Louie by The Kingsmen (not that it's particularly easy to decipher those lyrics).

Stretch Armstrong?

(OK, I know we should say Lou-iss Armstrong, not Lou-iee... but old habits die hard.)


Don't go Psycho on me. Saturday Snapshots will be back next week...


Thursday, 17 May 2018

My Top Ten Karaoke Songs




I've never done karaoke. Not because of any muso-snobbery on my part, merely because I guess I hang out with people who wouldn't be seen dead in a karaoke contest. The frustrated pop star in me regrets this quite a lot. Maybe I ought to start a sad, middle-aged bucket-list and put karaoke at the top of the list, rather than sky diving or bungee jumping.


Anyway, here's ten songs about singing someone else's songs badly over a tinny backing track...


10. Maxïmo Park - Karaoke Plays

Someone gets run down
Karaoke plays somewhere in the background,
But there is no explanation
What makes a grown man cry?
Karaoke plays and someone gets run down

That's probably pretty deep if you think about it.

9. Tom McRae - Karaoke Soul

This guy was on the verge of making it big back in the early 00s. Not sure why he didn't.

8. Kate Nash - Karaoke Kiss

I got a renewed respect for Kate Nash following her performance in the Netflix show GLOW, so I was pleased to see she had a new record out. This is a pretty fine cut from that...

7. The Haywains - Kill Karaoke

I owe Brian a big thank you for introducing me to this lot.

6. Catatonia - Karaoke Queen

Whenever I listen to old Catatonia songs, I lament the fact that Cerys packed in the day job.

5. Jimmy Buffett & Toby Keith - Too Drunk To Karaoke

The very definition of a marmite song, depending entirely on whether you consider Jimmy Buffett a loveable old doofus... or just a doofus.

4. Bennet - Karaoke / Younger Younger 28's - Karaoke Queen / Speedy - Karaoke King

Three long-forgotten Britpop and post-Britpop bands for the price of one: all of them far more interesting than Oasis. Particularly Younger Younger 28's - why weren't they massive? All worth a listen if you dig that era.

3. Ben Folds - Hiro's Song

I wanna explode in
A karaoke supernova...

...so much more interesting than a champagne one.

2. Elbow - Grounds For Divorce

Any excuse to play this, Elbow's rockiest moment... with a Costello-esque venom to the lyrics.

There's this whispering of jokers doing flesh by the pound
To a chorus of supposes from the little town whores
There'll be twisted karaoke at the Aniseed Lounge
And I'll bring you further roses
But it does you no good
And it does me no good
And it does you no good

1. Blur - The Universal

Gonna have to give the crown to Blur, for probably their finest hour after Song 2 (and certainly their most optimistic)... even though they disgraced themselves somewhat by letting it be used in a British Gas ad campaign. Surely you didn't need the money that much, Damon?

Every night we're gone
And to karaoke songs
How we like to sing a long
Although the words are wrong
 
It really, really, really could happen
Yes, it really, really, really could happen
When the days they seem to fall through you, well just let them go

Never really thought the Clockwork Orange video did the song justice, but here it is anyway...



Ever done karaoke? What did you sing?

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