Emergency Questions #2: Stroke My Hair

Another conversation starter culled from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions... and some songs I loosely linked to it.

18. Which celebrity would you like to stroke your hair as you die?

I think my go-to answer for this would usually be Kate Winslet. She has long been my celebrity crush, and the older she gets, the more I respect her attitudes to celebrity and being herself on screen. 

Big Star - Stroke It, Noel

Billy Squier - The Stroke

Fat Harry White - My Baby Stroked My Beard

To be honest though, I'm not sure I'd want Kate - or any other celebrity, for that matter - running her fingers through my hair. Especially if I was on my death bed. I mean, it's a bit late now, isn't it, love?

Ben Folds Five - Kate

Maybe it'd be better to choose a celebrity who can calm me down in my final moments, rather than getting my heart rate up or leaving me feeling frustrated over lost opportunities. 

So I did a quick google search on "Who is the most caring celebrity?" and the answers the AI generated included...

Oprah Winfrey

Dolly Parton

Beyoncé

Keanu Reeves

And do you know what? Of those guys, I think I'd choose Keanu. I feel like he'd be the one most likely to make me feel zen about my last moments on earth. 

The Felice Brothers - Black Is My True Love's Hair

Eleanor Friedberger - Cathy With The Curly Hair

Professor Longhair - She Ain't Got No Hair

The Tokens - She Lets Her Hair Down

Prince - She's Always In My Hair

Melba Montgomery & George Jones - You Comb Her Hair

The biggest problem I have with this question is that I don't really like anybody touching my hair. Not because I'm precious about how it looks (I couldn't give a monkeys)... it's just: PERSONAL SPACE, DUDE! Still, I'm sure Keanu would respect that...

Snapshots Spillover: More Musical Maths

A few more musical equations left over from this weekend's Maths test...

We start with the lead singer of the Quireboys.

No - wait - come back! His solo work might surprise you...

Ginger Wildheart - Minus You

Next, the obvious one... which I would have included were it not for the fact that I'm running out of clues to help you guess Radiohead...

Radiohead 2+2=5

I'm guessing George might ask them to show their working on that one. 

And then there's this much-covered song from Mr. Zimmerman...

Bob Dylan - Love Minus Zero

And old KK has an interesting way of calculating what year he's living in...

Kris Kristofferson - The Year 2000 Minus 25

I suppose this one from Mr. Morrison might have scraped in too...

The Doors - Love Me Two Times

While George and Melba might need to ask for more paper to show their working...

George Jones & Melba Montgomery - Multiply The Heartaches

The opposite of that is probably...

The Grass Roots - Two Divided By Love 

We'll close today with an equation that probably belongs more in a Physics lesson than Maths, but it's still a great listen...

Snapshots #291 - A Top 25 King Songs

In lieu of pledging allegiance to our new King, which I'm not about to do because I'M NOT A 17TH CENTURY KNIGHT, here are 25 songs in his "honour"...

25. Slip severely and jumble.

"Slip severely" is an anagram.

Elvis Presley - King Creole

24. Trendy appliance.

Fad Gadget - King of the Flies

23. Stare at the text closely.

Stare at the teXT Closely.

XTC - King For A Day

22. Musk without Nitrogen.

Take the N from Elon...

ELO - Rock n Roll Is King

Now that's a king I will pledge allegiance too!

21. This is what happens when you go out in the cold without a proper top on, ladies.

The Nipple Erectors - King of the Bop

Shane MacGowan's first band!

20. They say it all started in Wuhan...

China Crisis - King In A Catholic Style

19. They were probably mild-mannered.

Remember Penry, the mild-mannered janitor...?

The Janitors - Good To Be The King

18. A peach from the same town as John's angel.

John Prine sang of an Angel From Montgomery. Peach Melba.

Melba Montgomery - King of Kings

17. Derek Dick's having a wobble.

Derek Dick is Fish. Jelly wobbles.

Jellyfish - The King Is Half Undressed

16. Their leader crashed his bike.

Look out, look out, look out!

The Pack - King of Kings

15. What will you find inside Bob's adequate box?

Bob'S ADEquate box.

Sade - Your Love Is King

14. Eureka! Reno is where you'll find the solution.

EureKA REN O

Karen O - King

13. Hi-didly-ho, Glenn & Roger!

"Hi-didly-ho," is what Ned Flanders might say to Glenn & Roger Miller.

Ned Miller - From A Jack To A King

12. Brendan, all a muddle.

"Brendan" is an anagram.

Dan Bern - King of the World

11. Candy, Denver, Legend.

The Three Johns - King Car

10. Maybe she's caught a chill.

She looks a bit shivery to me.

Shivaree - Cannibal King

9. Michael Holliday had something similar.

Michael Holliday sang about the Story Of My Life.

My Life Story - The King Of Kissingdom

8. A big hit out of Radio Nowhere.

RaDIO Nowhere

Dion - King of the New York Streets

7. Tips for colouring.

Felt Tips are good for colouring.

Felt - Dismantled King is Off the Throne

6.  Anagram? Shh!

Graham Nash - I Used To Be A King

5. Sounds like Jack's aircrafts.

Jack White has quite a few planes by now, I'd imagine...

White Plains - When You Are A King

4. Thinly plot a mix up.

"Thinly plot" is an anagram.

Phil Lynott - King's Call

3. Where the Green Giant's son lives.

The Green Giant's son was called Sprout. He was like the Scrappy Doo of sweetcorn adverts.

I understand he lived in a prefab.

Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock n Roll

2. Something that gets passed down in the family.

Genes are hereditary.

Gene - We Could Be Kings

1. He tolls to conquer.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for William the Conqueror...

William Bell - A Tribute To A King

Just ten Snapshots for you next Saturday morning. I do like to get out of the house occasionally.