Rol: The Queen made Doncaster a city.
Doncaster!
Not the biggest town in the country: Huddersfield...
Oh no, Doncaster.
Ben: Genuinely?
Fuck that.
She should be made to build the cathedral herself.
Get her carrying the bricks.
I'd help crowdfund that.
I'm on the train back from Leeds.
I'm not passing through Donny, otherwise I'd shout at it for you.
"One fondly recalls many a youthful night out in Donny with Philip. Getting rat-arsed in Flares and then throwing up a kebab on the night bus home. The Corgis love Donny too. That's why all the streets are covered in..."
My granddad would like to trace our family tree
And he always believed
We were related to royalty
So I would colour my books like a Renaissance master
Because I never realised
The royals don't come from Doncaster
Rol sends Ben the following newspaper clip...
That's a SIS job ad.
It has to be.
Their ads are often in the form of those tiny articles and weird bits in the personals.
I wish I knew what you were talking about.
MI6.
They often do job ads disguised as articles. First application stage is being able to find the cipher and contact whatever number or email address is hidden in there.
OK, Bond.
Smart enough to recognise them, not smart enough to solve them.
What about this then?
I think it looks more like Bono.
Which is far worse.
It's horrendous.
But £250 won't get a good photo portrait that size.
Mrs. Ben thinks it looks like Sue Pollard.
Anything's preferable to Bono.
I used to hum that song to my Constitution students.
Quite loud. During class.
There's no way they'd ever know the song.
I wanted to ask you what Constitution students are... but then I figured out it was spell corrected Construction.
Still, the idea of you teaching the Constitution...
Yeah, Construction.
Not sure how I'd teach constitution.
Maybe make them go for walks? For their daily constitutional?
I was thinking about their right to bare arms.
To get a bad tattoo.
This is the view from the bottom of the garden for the next couple of days.
The sound would do my nut in.
Misery-guts. It only comes past once an hour. Stops at 4pm.
Is this some jingoistic celebration?
Only if you want it to be.
Kier Starmer did say it was your patriotic duty to celebrate the jubilee...
I don't care what Keith says.
I don't care where Keith goes.
It's cute that he thinks anyone respects him enough to pay attention to what he says.
Sorry. What he thinks the voters would like him to say.
Everything he says is a soundbite crafted for him by a think tank.
Less a think tank and more his advisors Google the latest yougov poll.
He'd make a great character on The Thick Of It.
He's Dan Miller.
"Brushed aluminium cyber-prick."
Keep up the excellent work.
It's because I'm in North Yorkshire at the moment. Nobody else knows how to put it up.
It's because all their effort goes into putting up with you.
I bet Doncaster City has shitloads of bunting.