Jaguar Lives!

I actually couldn't care less about lame Kung-Fu movies; however I am strangely fascinated by insignificant B-movies that assemble impressive ensemble casts even though everything else about it absolutely sucks. "Jaguar Lives!" is a terrific example of this, if there ever was one. This is without a doubt one of the dumbest, most redundant, most intolerable and dullest flicks ever made, but would you look at that cast! The titular hero is a total nobody – and remained a total nobody even though this dud was supposed to launch his acting career – but would you just take a look at the names surrounding him! It's like an unofficial James Bond reunion where only the coolest people received an invitation: Christopher Lee, Donald Pleasance, the stunningly beautiful Barbara Bach, Joseph Wiseman and – just for fun's sake – Woody Strode and John Huston. The issue, however, is that all these great people only appear for a mere couple of minutes and I bet all my money that none of them had a clue what this movie was about. The whole thing is just a dire excuse to showcase Joe Lewis' admittedly smooth Kung-Fu moves (watch him kick two naughty villains off their bikes at once in impressive slow-motion) and to travel around the most dreamy exotic locations in the world to tell an inexistent story about an international drug network. Moreover, the identity of the criminal mastermind is so goddamn obvious straight from the beginning that the attempts to hide his face or cover up the sound of his voice are downright hilarious. Donald Pleasance clearly had a fun day depicting a cartoonesque South American dictator, but the rest of them are just performing on automatic pilot and appear to be clinically dead. The explosions and car crashes look incredibly amateurish and Ernest Pintoff's direction is as uninspired as can be. Somehow this turkey received a beautiful and luxurious DVD-release even though it hardly deserves such a treatment. There are far better contemporary cult flicks out there that sadly remain stuck in obscurity. But hey, if you want to have a good laugh or wish to pointlessly kill off a couple of your brain cells, you can't go wrong with "Jaguar Lives!"

I had first recorded this off late-night Italian TV but, thankfully, had not yet checked the movie out before it turned up in English: a vague James Bond rip-off in which the protagonist (one Joe Lewis) happens to be a martial arts expert – for the record, the two styles had already clashed, far more successfully, in Bruce Lee's last-completed and best vehicle i.e. ENTER THE DRAGON (1973). Even if the producers of this one were wily enough to recruit a roster of co-stars – no fewer than 5 of whom had appeared in previous Bond extravaganzas (Barbara Bach, John Huston, Christopher Lee, Donald Pleasence and Joseph Wiseman)! – the result is, while not boring, hardly thrilling, in spite their being practically no let-up to the action!!

Incidentally, much is made of the mysterious identity of the chief villain (at least, they had the good sense to not cast an established actor in the role – who would have invariably blown the hero out of the water in that department!) when the pre-credits sequence gives this away all-too-plainly!! Lewis' "sensei" is Woody Strode and, among his adversaries, is Capucine (who, having failed to dispatch the "Jaguar" herself, later calls on Lee and insists to be informed when this is finally accomplished!); the latter, however, displays an admirable code of ethics when he lets Lewis go after he has repeatedly defeated his goons inside a Japanese cemetery! Wiseman plays blind and Huston (amusingly, his character is named Ralph Richards!) wheelchair-bound, so that only Pleasence has fun as the self-appointed but – inevitably – cowardly dictator of a banana republic.

As I said, the action highlights (personally choreographed by the leading man) are not exactly ground-breaking and too often merely silly – at one point, he takes on a gang of motorcycle thugs, not to mention the various minions at a factory, whom he overcomes not via his usual karate moves but by throwing every kind of accessory which comes his way at any approaching assailant!; then again, it must be pointed out that director Pintoff had started out in animation. The film, at the very least looks good – helped in no small measure by the globe-trotting nature of the plot – but, atypically, Lewis proves oddly resistant to female company (save for ex-colleague Sally Faulkner, who has improbably forsaken espionage for a nun's habit!). The concluding moments show the protagonist once again having his training sessions interrupted by the arrival of agent Bach…but, unsurprisingly, no sequel ever surfaced (or was likely ever commissioned, though the star would in fact return to the big screen for FORCE: FIVE {1981}, directed by ENTER THE DRAGON's own Robert Clouse!).

This film has never really cut it for me. Although there's a lot of action, it's forgettable or it just doesn't captivate us, and never really lives up to what could been. It falls below the ranks of being a memorable if kind of dry actioner, which wastes a great cast, including a smaller part by an Aussie actor who does the voice over for the very same VHS company who brought out this forgettable film, whose cover poster of our hunky actor lead, is no less than engaging. And of course, you're not expecting a feat of acting chops. Again, more brawn than brain. This is a film that just seems to run a limited course, and falls short many times. Even in it's exciting and promising start (perpetual lasting explosions have never been more beautiful) it gives in too easy, where promising suspense is killed. The film keeps running short on things, unhelped by bad editing, if working on a short budget. Out hunky Lewis, code name Jaguar, who's betrayed at the start, is enlisted to take down an international drug dealer. The great Christopher Lee is one of the few highlights of the film, and Cappucine, plays a great vilanness, but bottom line, this is just a forgettable film. Even with Jaguar claiming arse kicking revenge, we're hardly moved or riveted. Jaguar, certainly a force to be reckoned, won't live on in the mind of moviegoers, just less demanding ones, in a slightly bland type action film, that certainly won't leave an imprint on us audience.

"Jaguar Lives" is very slow and plodding entertainment, despite a tip-top cast being associated. The action (well that's when it gets around to it) is too little and unexciting martial arts... because we have to wait through long dry spells of talk. The climax battle is the only thing worth waiting around for. Not helping is that the twists in the story are plain easy to pick up on and it doesn't make too much sense. Wow, just look at the names! The main reason I decided to give it a look. The likes of Christopher Lee, Donald Pleasence and Barbara Bach are simply wasted, and Joe Lewis is just too deadpan in the lead role. Fun this is not. No wonder why it's not too well known, as it's largely dismissible.

A run-of-the-mill action/thriller/kung-fu movie with good main and support cast and ordinary theme about brave secret agent busts international crime ring plot . The world's new Karate hero , Jonathan Cross (Joe Lewis) who is out to stop enemies. Helped by Sensei (Woody Strode) , Cross battles drug dealers , nasty bands , and help save the world from an evil con (Sir Christopher Lee) and other defector agents . These treacherous times demand a new style of hero. Now is the time for Jaguar . Now is the time for a great new screen hero. Now is the time for Jaguar.

A no-interest , tacky and multi-location action movie that takes its cues from early 007 movies , cheapo chop-socky movies and Chuck Norris films . In fact Joe Lewis was a world class Karate champion, and trained with Chuck Norris and even fought several matches against Bruce Lee in the 1960s . It turns out to be the listless, tedious hokum of the secret agent battling an international conspiracy , that nowadays it looks hopelessly anachronistic in even the baldest commercial terms . Here stands out the appearances from notorious international actors at the time , such as : Christopher Lee at one of his ordinary 70s roles as a villain , Donald Pleasence as an overacting dictator , the gorgeous Bond-girl Barbara Bach , the elegant and cold Capucine , Joseph Wiseman as an old blind man , the hunk Woody Strode and actor/director John Huston . Being a US/Spain co-production with brief intervention of Spanish actors , such as : Luis Prendes as a prison chief , Simón Andreu , George Rigaud , Emilio Rodríguez , Víctor Israel , Taida Urruzola, Fedra Lorente , Maribel Hidalgo, among others .

Highlights the gorgeous and colorful cinematogrophy by John Cabrera shot in several locations in USA , Tokio , Macao , Hong Kong and shot mostly in Spain : Desert Tabernas , Almeria , La Alcazaba, Almería, Andalucia , Dehesa de Navalvillar, Colmenar Viejo, Madrid, El Escorial, Madrid, Valle de los Caídos, Madrid and Castle of Belmonte, Cuenca, Castilla-La Mancha where long time ago was filmed Anthony Mann's El Cid . The motion picture was lousily directed by Ernest Pintoff . Ernest was an ex-cartoonist and once once-touted filmmaker and winning the Oscar for best animated short for The Critic (1963), a satire on modern art written and narrated by Mel Brooks. Pintoff previously earned an Oscar nomination for his animated short The Violinist (1959), narrated by Carl Reiner. For television Pintoff directed episodes of numerous series, including Hawai 5-0 (1968), The Six Million Dollar Man (1974) and Falcon Crest (1981). As part of NBC's "Experiments in Television" in the late 1960s, he directed the documentaries "This Is Marshall McLuhan" and "This Is Sholem Aleichem." Among Pintoff's feature credits as a director are the low-budget Who killed Mary Magdalene (1971), starring Red Buttons, and Dynamite Chicken (1971) . Jaguar Lives! (1979) rating : 4/10 , inferior and embarrassing action movie .