Semiquincentennial Movie Project #21: The Untouchables

 

 

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

Week #21: Illinois-

 

 

 

The state of Illinois was established on December 3, 1818

Details about Illinois:

State bird: cardinal

State flower: violet

State tree: wild oak

Additional historical trivia:

You might THINK it was in New York, but officially the first building that could be classified as a "skyscraper" was built in Chicago. 

Twinkies were invented in Schiller Park.

The first Dairy Queen opened for business in Illinois. 

Ray Kroc opened the first McDonald's outside of California in Des Plaines. Kroc was from Illinois. (Now, I'm hungry...)

The famous Route 66 has it's starting point in Chicago. Or ending point if you are starting in California...

 Illinois was the first state to ratify the 13th Amendment which outlawed slavery.

The world's largest public library is in Chicago. 

Famous people born in Illinois" U.S. President Ronald Reagan, Ray Kroc,  Harrison Ford, Hugh Hefner, Walt Disney, Pope Leo XIV, Jimmy Connors and John Belushi.

 

 

The Untouchables (1987): 

The most famous gangster in the history of the United States would almost surely be Al Capone. While the history behind the efforts of the Federal government to put an end to Al Capone's reign as the crime boss of Chicago may be known to most people, it is a sure bet that only the most knowledgeable students have more than a passing acquaintance with the details. Most people probably only know the story from either the TV series with Robert Stack, or from this film.

 

The fact is that both are entirely reliant on dramatic license to tell a story and are filled with stuff that was rearranged or even invented out of whole cloth. One thing in particular that stands out in the film is that Eliot Ness and Al Capone had virtually no face to face interaction during the era. One site I read claims that Ness was only interacting with Capone when he served as one of the escorts that took Capone to prison after his trial.

That does not mean that Brian De Palma's film should be avoided completely, however, unless you are one of those people who demand strict historical accuracy in your films that deal with history. Instead, you could just look on this film as a well crafted fictional story and come away from it with a feeling of satisfaction.

As I have noted elsewhere, I am not a big fan of Kevin Costner. In fact, if it wasn't for the presence of Robert De Niro and Sean Connery in this film, I doubt if I would have as much appreciation for it, at least from an acting viewpoint. 

 

There is not much of Costner's portrayal that really connects with me. Roger Ebert in his review sums it up for me that he doesn't provide "any of the little twists and turns of character that might have made Ness into an individual", although he puts the blame more on David Mamet's script rather than on the actor himself.

Connery won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his work, but De Niro was virtually ignored. I thought that De Niro was equally worthy of at least a nomination, even though some reviews claimed he was basically just going through the motions. 

The film opens with a scene that somehow just doesn't ring true, at least for me. Capone (Robert DeNiro) is getting a shave while interviewers are asking him questions about his status as a figure in town of note. Somehow I just can't see Capone openly admitting to being involved in bootlegging to the press. Maybe the real Al Capone actually was forthright in his activities in real life: it's not as if no one even knew he existed at that point in time. But it just feels odd.

 

Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) makes his appearance at the police headquarters and establishes his "goody two-shoes" persona when he makes it known that he is there to enforce Prohibition and take down those who would flaunt the law, including establishing that from that point forward, if the officers in his force had previously ignored the law before, there were expected to be paragons of virtue henceforth. Historically speaking, however, it was NOT against the law to drink during Prohibition, it was only against the law to make, transport or sell the stuff. Many people hoarded previously legal stashes that they got before Prohibition went into effect. 

Ness first finds out what he is up against when he makes a raid on a place that supposedly has a shipment of the illegal contraband, but instead of finding liquor he finds... umbrellas. It becomes apparent that there was a betrayal of his raid plans from within the force. As Malone (Sean Connery) tells Ness later in the movie, the town of Chicago "stinks like a whorehouse at low tide."

 

 Which is why, after convincing Malone to join his team, Malone says that they need to pull in some help from the newbies to the force. "If you're afraid of getting a bad apple, don't go to the barrel. Get it off the tree." So Malone and Ness go to the training section of the academy, looking for a man who is a good shot and honest (as in not corrupted by the graft that is rampant on the force).

 

The scene where they recruit George Stone (Andy Garcia) is one of my favorite scenes as far as dialogue. Malone and Stone have a tête-à-tête in which Malone queries Stone about his heritage: 

Malone: Stone? George Stone? What's you real name?

Stone: That is my real name.

Malone: Nah. What was it before you changed it?

Stone: Giuseppe Petri.

Malone: Ah! I knew it. That's all you need is one thieving wop on the team.

Stone: It's much better than you, you stinking Irish pig. (Both pull weapons).

Malone: Oh, I like him....

 

Also to come on board is a rather milquetoast addition, Oscar Wallace (Charles Martin Smith) who is an accountant in his real life. He is not initially what you would expect for a gun-toting gung ho federal agent, although he does develop over the course of his activities. Wallace thinks the best way, however, to take down Capone is to find information that would help to prosecute Capone for tax evasion.

 

Ness: Try a murderer for tax evasion?

Wallace: Well, it's better than nothing...

 

There are some great scenes in the second half of the film. Ness and his cohorts look to try to stop a shipment of contraband coming across the border from Canada. At one point one of the bootleggers is killed while trying to shoot it out with Ness. A short time later, while Malone is struggling to get another captive to open up about his connections he uses the corpse as an unorthodox incentive to get the prisoner to confess. I won't go into detail here, but it really is one of the scenes that probably swayed the Oscar voting to give Connery the statuette,

 

One of the other scenes that really stands out is a shootout at the train station. In an homage to a scene from Sergei Eisenstein's classic silent era film Battleship Potemkin,  the scene is staged on a series of steps in the train station. It is ten minutes of very intense action, and plays out with several parallels to the Russian classic.

 

There is one scene that happens late in the movie that is entirely fictional, and one of the few scenes that irks me due to it's unbelievable situation. Ness has an encounter with Frank Nitti (Billy Drago) on top of the courthouse. The ending, although it somehow fits in the context of the way that the story has been played out in this fictional account, does not seem to ring true with the character of Ness as he has been played out up to this point. Once again, I am going to leave it to the audience to watch the film and judge for themselves.

 

Ultimately, of course, and it's not a spoiler since this part is historical, Capone ends up being convicted of tax evasion. Historically speaking, that may have been the only way it was going to play out, since the Capone organization was powerful enough to keep the crime boss out of jail for his more overt illegal activities.

While The Untouchables  has it's issues with it's historical accuracy, the film is a stand out for the efforts that the director and the majority of the actors bring to the screen. Even some of the minor characters are memorable. I particularly liked Police Chief Mike Dorsett's (Richard Bradford) brief scenes when he interacted with Connery in the back alley fight. Dorsett is not as bad as it would all seem. I think he genuinely cares about Malone, even if Malone is opposed to the status quo (i.e. the bribery and corruption) in which Dorsett is involved.

This film ranks fairly high in lists of great gangster movies. One book I have in my collection, The Ultimate Book of Great Gangster Movies by  George Anastasia and Glen Macnow puts it at #28, while the Ranker website puts it in at # 11. (It should come as no surprise that both of those put the first two The Godfather films as #1 and #2). My personal list would probably have it at #5, behind those first two The Godfather films, followed closely by Goodfellas and Little Caesar. (Sorry Pulp Fiction fans...)

Well, that wraps up this week's entry. Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

  

 

 

 

  

Respect the Fedora

 

 

 

 

 

How I got here:

Do you remember where you were in the summer of 1981?  Some of you may not have even been born yet, admittedly.  Me, I was 19, on my way to my 20th birthday later that year.  But I still remember the first time I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. (Note: that was the full title when it was first released.  It didn't garner the additional designation of Indiana Jones and the part until the release of the boxed set in 1999.)

I was visiting a college friend one weekend and, on the way home, I decided to check out the movie which had been out for a couple of weeks by that time. I remember thinking it was a great adventure.  I was talking to my sister and apparently we went to see it together.  But I'm pretty sure i must have convinced her to go after seeing it the first time.

I have always like these kinds of movies.  So by the time Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom rolled into theaters, I was ready for the next installment.  Doom did not impress me, but it didn't disappoint me enough to turn me off of the franchise. (My sister no longer went to movies with me by this time, so I only saw it alone).

By the time Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade hit theaters I was ready to try to get back into the story.  By that time I was a student at what was then called Southwest Texas State University ( it has since changed to just Texas State University).  I was involved with a campus Christian group which was preparing for it's annual leadership conference in Washington D.C.  As a group, several of us went to see Crusade on the last night before we were to start our trek to D.C.

Everyone in the group greatly enjoyed Crusade. It would be 20 years before another installment of Indiana Jones came along. By that time, Harrison ford, who has played the adult Indiana for the entire run, was 66.  I had become jaded by then, since I was in my late 40s, and just couldn't wrap my brain around an aging old man playing a character who was supposedly still spry.

Note: I really have no idea how old Indiana Jones is supposed to be in any of the films.  Given that he is old enough to be a Boy Scout in 1912 at the beginning of Crusade, I estimate he was probably born in the late 90's.  For argument's sake and a point of reference, lets just put it at 1897.  That means he was in his late 30's/ early 40's for the first three movies and 60 by the time of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  In comparison, Ford was about 40 in 1981 and mid 60's by 2008. OK, so at least they aren't trying to get away with much.  But, still...

Anyway, as a result of that trepidation (and the fact that I was dealing with glaucoma which severely limited my movie going enjoyment and experience) it wasn't until after it was released on DVD that I finally got to see Crystal Skull. 

Despite all that, I am, as of the start of this entry, on the verge of going to see the new release, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Ford is 80 at the time of this and his character, if what I read on wikipedia is right, is 72 (based on the calculation I arbitrarily made for his birth above).  If being a 60 year adventurer seemed a bit too much, I am having a REALLY hard time accepting a 72 year old, but I will at least approach it with an open mind.  (see the last entry in this post for a follow-up to this initial thought.) 

Note: I wrote the last paragraph prior to going to see the new movie.  Here a few days later, as I finish this entry I still have some problems with accepting the 70+  character acting like a 40 year old, but what the hell, it's only a movie.

 

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981):

 1936: The saga starts of slam bang with Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) attempting to find a sacred idol.  He is accompanied by Satipo (Alfred Molina).  (For some reason I keep hearing Jones call him "Sapito" Not sure if this is a character error or if they mistakenly misspelled it in the credits...)  Anyway, Jones has to maneuver a trap laden cavern to get to the idol.  But success is fleeting, as when he exits the cavern he is stopped by the natives and Rene Belloq (Paul Freeman), a rival archaeologist with less scruples than a spider with a flytrap.  Belloq takes the idol away from Jones and Jones is left to escape the natives empty handed.

Back at the university where he is a professor, Jones and his boss, the dean of the university, Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliot), are approached by two men representing the U.S. government.  It seems that an old professor from Jones' university student days is being sought for an artifact that the Nazis want, to help them find a sacred relic, the Lost Ark of the Covenant. The Ark, a sacred Jewish relic, has been lost for centuries, but the Nazis think they might have a line on how to find it.  The reason they want the ark is it just might be the most powerful aid to help them win the war. Jones is recruited to find the artifact they seek before they do.

The daughter of the old professor, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) , might know it's whereabouts so Jones heads to Nepal, her last known whereabouts.  But the Nazis also know where Marion is, and the villainous Nazi Toht (Ronald Lacey) is sent to her location. Although the Nazis are not successful at retrieving the artifact, they do get some help. Toht gets burned by the red hot artifact, searing half of the writing on his hand.  Note to self: Never try to pick up a metal object that has been sitting near a red hot fire for several minutes... (not that I needed to be reminded, but apparently Toht did.)

 Armed with the relic, Jones and Marion head to Cairo to meet up with Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), an ally who is one of the many employed by the Nazis for a dig near the site of the ancient city of Tanis, where the lost ark is thought to be located.  Coincidentally (or not, this is the movies, after all), also on hand at the dig is Belloq.  But, as Jones discovers, they are digging for the Ark in the wrong place.  (Remember Toht and his unfortunate tattoo?  It seems he has only 1/2 the information needed to discover it's location.)

Using ALL the information, Jones discovers the true location of the Ark and rescues it from it's sandy crypt.  But, then, you know that's not all the story. The last 1/3 of the movie involves Jones rescuing the ark, losing it, rescuing it again and losing it, until the final confrontation where Belloq tries to initiate a Jewish ritual before opening the ark.

Raiders of the Lost ark ranks as #2 on my list of ranking the films.  Most lists I saw put it at #1, but I chalk that up to people who never forget their first love (or their first introduction to the character of Indiana Jones.)

 

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984):

 The second installment of the series actually takes place a  year or so before the events of Raiders. At the beginning, Jones is in Shaghai to exchange a relic to a Chinese big wig (read: mobster) named Lao Che (Roy Chiao) for a valuable diamond.  The exchange takes place at Lao Che's nightclub where the main attraction is a singer named Willi Scott (Kate Capshaw).

Of course, Lao is not about to play fair. He poisons Jones and demands the diamond back in exchange for the antidote.  Chaos breaks out as Jones and Lao's henchmen run amok.  Jones escapes the bar with Willi and boards a plane.  But the plane is owned by Lao and the pilots desert the plane in mid-flight.  Setting up the plot, as Jones and Scott and Jones's diminutive partner, Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) have to desert the plane, too, before it crashes.

They are helped to a native Indian village where devastation has occured.  The village's sacred stone has been taken, as well as the children of the village.  Jones is given the task of retrieving the stone from it's captors.  This leads the band the the palace of Pankot, where the residents are under the spell o of Mola Ram (Amrish Puri), an Indian shaman trying to re-institute the worship of Kali, the god of destruction and change in the Hindu religion, as well as the Thugee cult which was dedicated to ridding the country of it;s British rule.

Mola Ram and his Thugee cult are using the children as slave labor, mining the area for more of the sacred stones needed to complete a ritual that will put Kali in full power.  There is a lot of a religious aspect to this whole scene, something which it had been already established that Jones didn't subscribe to, but he does have enough knowledge to know what is going on.  His goal to achieve the release of the children and the retrieval of the village's sacred stone are hinged to the cult practice of human sacrifice

In case you didn't know, Jones is successful in the end, despite the interference of Mola Ram (and on occasion, Willi).

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ranks as #5 on the list.  A lot of that has to do with the less than believable plot, but a good portion of it is attributed to Capshaw as Willi.  That is not necessarily a bad mark on her performance, she isn't bad as an actress.  But her character is the most annoying, shrill and self-centered woman I have ever seen on film. Personally, I would have shoved her out of the plane early on. If Capshaw is even remotely like the character she plays I fell sorrow (and respect) for Spielberg for putting up with her for all these years. (But she probably isn't anything like Willi in real life.)

 

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989):

 We get some background to Indiana Jones' character in the early part of the movie.  In 1912 he is a Boy Scout (played by River Phoenix) who happens upon a grave robbing scene while on a camp out with his Boy Scout troop.  He retrieves the Cross of Coronado only to have to give it up.  Jones' father makes an appearance, although we don't actually see who it is until later in the movie, (but you can't miss Sean Connery's voice if you are familiar with him.  Note: there's a reason why you don't see him.  That's not actually Connery in the scene.  But his voice was dubbed in.)

During the chase to get the Cross back we are introduced to many of the familiar quirks and accoutrements of the character, such has how he acquired his fear of snakes as well as how he got his trademark fedora and whip.  27 years later Jones reacquires the cross and defeats the man who originally took it from him.

In the new installment the story is started off by the fact that Walter Donovan (Julian Glover) is on a quest to find the Holy Grail (the legendary cup that Christ drank from at the Last Supper as well as caught the blood as he was dying on the cross.) Jones' father was the expert on the trail, but it has turned out he has disappeared, so Donovan entreats Jones to take up the quest where his father left off. He makes this journey with his dean of the archaeology department, Marcus Brody (with Denholm Elliot reprising his role from Raiders).

Jones ends up in Venice where he meets Dr. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody) who helps him locate key artifacts in his quest.  But it turns out, as will be seen later, that her loyalties lie with an entirely different set of principles.  Need a hint?  This is 1938, and they ARE in Europe, and she is Austrian... Also during this trip, Jones meets up with the nefarious villain of the piece. (No, not Hitler, himself, although Jones does manage to meet him in person briefly.) No, this is Toht's (remember Toht from Raiders?) counterpart, SS Colonel Vogel (Michael Byrne, making him the second Nazi villain played by an English actor, to perfection I might add).

In the process, Jones finds and frees his father from captivity in a Nazi fortress and the two go off in quest of the Grail with the help of Jones, Sr.'s Grail diary. Using all the clues that are found, they locate the hiding place of the Grail, but Jones has to alter his perceptions slightly when it comes to navigating the booby-trap laden passage to the hiding place.

Last Crusade  gets the #1 spot in my list of the best in the series. Sean Connery's prescence as Jones' father boosts it up past Raiders in my opinion.  Plus the adventure gets an added bonus because of the Grail legends that abound in it.  Personally, I'd much prefer to find the Grai than the Ark of the Covenant if I were a true historian (rather than the amateur one I am today. Can't call myself a real historian since I never finished getting my degree in history...)

 

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008):

It's 1957. Jones has been taken hostage by Russians.  He is given the task of finding one crate in a warehouse full of them. Like finding a needle in a haystack?  Well, not necessarily.  The crate they want is one that came from an event in Roswell, New Mexico.

Yes, that Roswell, and if you are already ahead of me you already have an idea what's in the crate.  So the head of the Russian contingent, Dr. Irina Spaiko (Cate Blanchett) and her KGB comrades take possession of the crate, despite the heroic efforts of the (60 yer old) Jones trying to stop them.  Jones escapes but ends up hiding out in a fake town, one built for a nuclear test site.  Moments before the bomb goes off he hides in a refrigerator and survives. (Not likely, if you ask me, but you have to make some allowances when watching Indiana Jones movies).

After rescue he becomes a person of interest to the F.B.I. and is summarily dismissed from the university (although they term it as a leave with pay)

He decides to go to Europe, but while on the train he meets up with Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) who gets him to help rescue his mother and an old colleague.  The colleague, Dr. Oxley (John Hurt), was on a search for a legendary Incan city of gold, El Dorado, when he ran into his own problems with the Russians. 

After retrieving a crystal skull in the lost grave of some legendary missing conquistadors, Jones and Mutt head off for another legendary city, Akator.  Of course, the russians are hot on his trail.  He is captured where he finds that his old colleague Oxley, who has apparently lost his mind, is a captive.  Not only that, but mutt's mother is a captive, too.  Guess who Mutt's mother is...?  If you said Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) then you are absolutely right.  We also find out that Mutt's relationship to Jones is a lot closer than either of them suspected. (yeah, you are on the right track there...)

So the quest to return the skull is off and running as, as usual, Jones escapes, is captured (again), escapes (again) etc. (and just as a side note, how can so many supposedly expert soldiers with machine guns fire off so many bullets but not hit anybody?) Ultimately we arrive at Akator where it turns out that there is an aspect to this alien story that may not have been expected.

So why did (and still do) so many loyal fans of the first three films hate this film?  Maybe it was the whole alien theme that came into it.  The Jones saga "nuked the fridge" (a real term based on the "jump the shark" trope) when it added an alien theme to the mix, apparently.  It got good reviews from quite a few reviewers.  Roger Ebert, for one, gave it 3 1/2 stars. Fans, on the other hand, for the most part, rank this one as 5th in the 5 movie series. The new Dial of Destiny is already being hailed as #3.

As for myself, I liked this outing. Of course, I'm much more prone to liking a bit of aliens thrown into the mix.  Therefore, I put Crystal Skull in the ranking as #4.  Much better than Temple of Doom and neck and neck with the new Dial of Destiny for the 3 spot.  That ranking may change after I have seen Dial a second time, however, but I am giving the new one a better ranking just for it being new and fresh.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023):

OK. so we are in the late 1960's now. As I said early in this post, based on the arbitrary date of birth I estimate that Indiana Jones must be close to 80).  Although at the beginning, it is still in the 40's, and through the magic of CGI and some make-up, Ford does look like he's still in his 40's.His dean, Marcus Brody, does not make an appearance, because, after all, I told you in the previous entry that the actor Denholm Elliot had passed away. Jones and his colleague, Basil Shaw (Toby Jones) are seeking to free the Lance of Longinus, a relic related to the Christian tradition.  It is supposed the spear used to pierce Jesus' side to cause him to bleed to death on the cross and make sure he was dead. It is of course the Nazis who are seeking the Lance. (as a side note: You know, for a group of people who rejected the trappings of Judeo-Christian beliefs, Hitler and his ilk sure did seem to seek out some very Judeo-Christian relics...)

Anyway, as the Nazi scientist Vollmer (Mads Mikkelsen) helping the Nazis locate the Lance points out, the relic they find is a fake.  But in the process, he has discovered 1/2 of the Dial of Archimedes. This is the relic that drives the story as 25 years later Vollmer,, who survived whatever criminal roundup gathered all those Nazi scientists back in '44, is still on the lookout for the other 1/2 of that dial.

You see, Archimedes apparently had discovered a way to travel through time and developed tis dial as a way to find fissures in the time-space continuum. Hut he had the wherewithal to know, apparently, that it could be used for evil purposes (like, oh I don't know, say, a former Nazi 700 years in the future seeking a way to change the outcome of the past...?)

Jones is accompanied this round by his goddaughter, the daughter of his former colleague Shaw, Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge).  Both he and Vollmer go on a quest trying to beat the other to find the other half of the dial.  What Jones intends to do with it may not be entirely certain although he does say that he would use it to go back and prevent his son, who had been killed while serving in the military, from ever signing up.

You would think, and rightly so, that Vollmer plans to go back and make sure the Nazis win WWII. But if you think you have a line on how, it's a good bet you'd be mistaken.  Since we don't find out his true objective until 3/4 of the way through the movie, I won't spoil it.  I will tell you that the dial is not just a worthless relic that has no power, however.  But what happens at the end was a pleasant surprise.  I concluded, just as the movie was nearing it's climax that they were going to throw a curve ball (to use a baseball metaphor), but instead got one hell of a slider (another baseball metaphor, and no baseball does not figure into the ending, but at this writing it is almost time for the MLB All-Star game, so it's on my mind...)

I told friends on Facebook that this movie is better than Temple of Doom and it is.I'm ranking it #3 on the list.  Another decent Nazi villain and the aspect of time travel push this one up the list. Always did like time travel stories.

So if you made it this far here is a summary of my rankings (which doesn't gibe with anyone else's that I could find, but it's my blog, so my list...)

1. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark

3. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny  

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

5. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Hope you enjoyed the trip.  The old Plymouth is fired up and we are heading home now.  Drive safely.

 

Quiggy

 

The Bond Age (Pt. IV)

 

2017 marks 55 years of James Bond on the movie screen.  To celebrate this momentous year, I am undertaking to review the entire oeuvre of Bond films, all 24 of them (at this juncture in history), two at a time.  These will appear on the 7th day of each month  (Bond's agent number being "007").  At the beginning of each entry I will give my personal ranking of each movie and of each movie's theme song.  (These are subjective rankings and do not necessarily agree with the view of the average Bond fan, so take it as you will).  I hope you enjoy them, nay, even look forward to the next installment.  As an added note, I am deeply indebted to Tom DeMichael, and his book James Bond FAQ,  for tidbits of information I with which I am peppering these entries.                                                                                                                                                                                                  -Quiggy

Sean Connery returned after the dismal performance of George Lazenby in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.  However, that only lasted for one more film, as Connery was tired of the role.  Roger Moore, who though considered for Bond on several occasions but was unable to take the role, finally got the call to make the next Bond movie in 1973.  He would go on to become the most prolific Bond of them all, playing the role 7 times.  Moore was also the only Englishman to play Bond, until the arrival of Daniel Craig.  (Connery was a Scotsman, Lazenby was an Australian, and successors to the role, Dalton was a Welshman and Brosnan was Irish).

An interesting change in the character from Connery's portrayal to Moore's was the dispensing of the "dry martini, shaken not stirred".  Moore only orders bourbon in this first outing.  This was an intentional thing on Moore's part.  He purposely decided to deviate from that concoction in order to separate his performance.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Movie: #4

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Theme Song: #11

Best Bond Quote:  "Your problems are behind you now." (Said as he stuffs the launching cassette in the back of Tiffany Case's bikini briefs).

Best Bond Villain Quote: Almost any of the repartee between Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd qualifies.  But the understatement of the year goes to Mr. Wint who comments "Curious, how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die."

Best Weapon:  What could possibly top a space satellite with a diamond-powered laser?

The opening scenes have Bond finally tracking down Blofeld (Charles Grey) after the death of his Bond's wife (see On His Majesty's Secret Service).  He seemingly gets his revenge by dumpin Blofeld in a vat of goo, but like Bond himself,  we know that it's never all that easy to kill Ernst Stavro Blofeld.

The credits sequence includes the return of Shirley Bassey (Goldfinger) returning to sing the theme song.  The song was not the hit that the previous Bassey song was.  It topped out at only #57 on the Billboard top 100.

Someone is smuggling diamonds.  Mr. Wint (Bruce Glover) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith), a pair of barely concealed homosexual flunkies, kill off everyone who passes on the smuggled diamonds.  They have some fairly devious tricks they pull to accomplish this, including putting a deadly scorpion down the back of the shirt of one man, drowning an old lady who is posing as a schoolteacher,

Bond is sent to Amsterdam where he takes the place of Peter Franks (Joe Robinson) and meets up with his contact, Tiffany Case (Jill St. John).  Unfortunately for Bond, Franks escapes and shows up at Tiffany's apartment.  A fight ensues, and Bond kills Franks, and exchanges IDs with him, giving Tiffany the impression that Bond, as Franks, has killed the "real" James Bond.

Bond and Tiffany, with the diamonds cleverly hidden in the coffin carrying Franks, smuggle the diamonds into Las Vegas, where the Mob takes possession, and Bond is knocked out by Kidd and Wint and sent to his death in a cremation chamber.  But the Mob, led by Shady Tree (Leonard Barr), find out the diamonds Bond passed were fake and pull him out before he gets burned up.

Bond ends up with Tiffany in "The Whyte House", a hotel owned by a reclusive millionaire, Willard Whyte (loosely based on Howard Hughes).  When Bond goes up to talk with Whtey, he discovers, insteard, Blofeld.  In fact, he discovers TWO Blofelds...(one of them is a clone).  Bond kills Blofeld, albeit the wrong Blofeld.  The real Blofeld captures Bond and sends Kidd and Wint to dispose of him in the desert.  (Just a question.  Why don't these villains just put a bullet in Bond's head, instead of devising ingenious methods of destruction for which Bond always seems to escape?)

It turns out that Blofeld has been smuggling diamonds for use in a powerful laser which is launched in a satellite in space.  One of the reasons this particular outing ranks so high in my own list is that Blofeld actually does succeed in using the laser on three separate targets; a missile silo in North Dakota, a Russian nuclear submarine and a rocket site in China.  The plan is to use his new found weapon to extort money from the world's super powers.

A fantastic final reel in the movie involves Bond trying to switch the real programming cassette which operates the laser with a cassette of music.  At the same time, an all out attack is launched on Blofeld's hideaway by our old friend, CIA agent Felix Leiter (played this time by Norman Burton).  Of course, you know Bond succeeds, but the final battle is still thrilling.

Live and Let Die (1973)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Movie: #12

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Theme Song: #3

Best Bond Quote:  With the coming of Roger Moore as Bond, the sexual double entendres came out in full force.  The best one in this movie was after Rosie complained that she was going to be useless to Bond: "I'm sure we'll be able to lick you into shape."

Best Bond Villain Quote: Cab Driver:  "Man, for $20 I'd drive you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!"

Best Weapon:  That watch of Bond's, which not only houses a super-powered magnet, but also doubles as a miniature saw to cut the ropes tying him up.


The opening sequence is only the second time in the series that James Bond does not appear.  (The appearance of a Bond look-alike who is killed off in From Russia with Love was the first.)  Three separate agents in the employ of her majesty are executed.  In the first, a member of the United Nations, representing the UK is killed by a high-pitched blast.  In the second, in New Orleans, an unwitting agent becomes the guest of honor in a jazz funeral.  And lastly, another member is killed by a snake being used in a voodoo ritual on the (fictional) island of San Monique.

Fresh off the recent disbanding of the Beatles, Paul McCartney and his then-current band, Wings, perform one of the best Bond songs ever.  This song spent 3 weeks as #2 on the charts, and was jumped by two separate songs.  The first week it was #2 behind Maureen McGovern's "The Morning After".  The second week it was jumped by Diana Ross' "Touch Me in the Morning", and on the third week at #2 it was jumped by The Stories' "Brother Louie".  An added note:  This was the first Bond theme song to be recorded by the person who wrote it.

To start off this adventure, M (Bernard Lee) makes a visit to Bond's own personal digs, just barely avoiding catching Bond in flagrante delicto with a female lover.  M sends Bond off on his mission to find out who is behind the killings of several agents (from the prologue sequence).  In New York, a pimpmobile cruises by the car carrying Bond and shoots his driver.  Not a very auspicious beginning to say the least.

It should be noted at the outset that this outing was obviously designed to cash in on the then current "blaxploitation" genre of movies.  Almost all of the bad guys are black, but then so are several of Bond's comrades-in-arms.  The main character Bond has to deal with is Dr. Kananga (Yaphet Kotto) who is the leader of the aforementioned fictional Carribean island of San Monique.  He is also running a secret heroin trade under the guise of "Mr. Big".

Kananga has the help of a few memorable villains in this endeavor.  One, his right hand man (so to speak, since the character has a mechanical replacement for his right arm, so pun not intended..), a character call "Tee Hee" Johnson (Julius Harris).  Called Tee Hee probably because this guy is always grinning, especially when he has the upper hand (again pun not intended) in the situation.

Also helping out Kananga is a tarot card reader called "Solitaire" (Jane Seymour).  (Just to interject something:  I realize this is a movie and as such is a fantasy, but I had one hell of a time suspending my disbelief that such malarkey as tarot card reading really worked.)   Nearly all potential allies for Bondin the early part of the film are actually working for Kananga.  Check out the scene where Bond tails a car to Harlem in a cab.  An innocent cabdriver in the endeavor?  Not hardly.  Neither is the supposed ally CIA agent that Bond hooks up with early in the movie.

There are two really exciting chase scenes in this movie that, although they take up about 20 minutes of running time, are very well executed.  The boat chase on the Louisiana bayou is particularly exciting, especially when a local Sheriff (Clifton James) gets involved in the act (on land, chasing the boats via roads and bridges).  The Sheriff scenes are strictly for comic relief, but Clifton James instills a good-ol-boy style to the sheriff that is enchanting.  He would later reprise this role in The Man with the Golden Gun.

Eventually (of course), Solitaire comes over to the side of the good guys, although initially that must be seen as an act of self-preservation, since by losing her virginity to Bond, she also loses the "powers" she has in reading the tarot cards, which doesn't make Kananga very happy.  Of course we have to have the obligatory attempt to kill Bond, which in the final scenes involves him being cut on the arm and then slowly lowered  (..."SLOWLY"...) into a shark infested tank.  The slow descent giving time to devise a way out of the predicament.  (Again, why don't these villains just put a bullet in Bond's head?  Why do they have to get cute?)

A great movie all-around.  I particularly like the on location scenes in New Orleans.  They didn't look all that familiar, but they reminded me of my own trip to the Crescent City back in 2003.  I feel certain I walked that street a few times during my stay.

Well folks,  time to head home.  Drive safely.

Quiggy

The Bond Age (Part III)

 

 

2017 marks 55 years of James Bond on the movie screen.  To celebrate this momentous year, I am undertaking to review the entire oeuvre of Bond films, all 24 of them (at this juncture in history), two at a time.  These will appear on the 7th day of each month  (Bond's agent number being "007").  At the beginning of each entry I will give my personal ranking of each movie and of each movie's theme song.  (These are subjective rankings and do not necessarily agree with the view of the average Bond fan, so take it as you will).  I hope you enjoy them, nay, even look forward to the next installment.  As an added note, I am deeply indebted to Tom DeMichael, and his book James Bond FAQ,  for tidbits of information I with which I am peppering these entries.                                                                                                                                                                                                  -Quiggy

By 1967, Connery was getting tired of the Bond thing, worried that he might be getting close to being typecast.  After filming You Only Live Twice, he bowed out of the series.  This led to a frantic search for a replacement.  The producers set out to find a newcomer, much like Connery had been before he landed the role.  Among some of the potential possibilities was John Richardson and Anthony Rogers, but the role went to George Lazenby, an Australian (???!!!).

In the lexicon of Bond history, most people rank George Lazenby's Bond as the worst of the lot.  I have to admit, it would have been hard to follow Connery who had already made the role a household name.  You couldn't find a harder job to do.  So don't blame Lazenby too much, but that said, he just didn't exude the panache and charisma that we had come to expect from Bond.  Which made it not too surprising when he didn't show up in the next Bond entry.

You Only Live Twice (1967)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Movie: #10

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Theme Song: #22

Best Bond Quote:  (After being told by Moneypenny that he is late, having supposedly just been killed and buried at sea)  "We corpses have no sense of timing".

Best Bond Villain Quote:  Blofeld:  "Give him his cigarettes.  It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond."

Best Weapon:  The electronic safe cracker.  I could use one of those when I forget the combination to my locker.

Sean Connery returns once again as Bond, and, after an opening sequence in which an American spaceship is hijacked, Bond gets killed, even before the opening credits...  After the opening credits, Bond is buried at sea.  The End.

Or it would have been, except Bond is not really dead.  Divers bring the wrapped body aboard a submarine and unwrap the body, and there is Bond just as alive as ever.  M and Miss Moneypenny are also aboard the submarine, a sort of field office for MI6.  M is there because how else would Bond get his new assignment.  As to why they needed Miss Moneypenny, well, what would a Bond movie be without the sexually deprived repartee between Bond and the ever unrequited love affair between him and Moneypenny?

Bond gets clued in on the situation.  The Americans are blaming the Russians for the hijacking of their spacecraft.  The spacecraft that did the hijacking, however, landed somewhere in the sea of Japan, and of course, the Russians are claiming to be innocent of the deed.  Bond is sent to Japan to find out what he can.  And I'm here to tell you, even if he found out in the first 15 minutes, it was worth it.  Japanese women are the most beautiful women on Earth.  (and this from an Anglo-Saxon without an ounce of Oriental blood...)

After meeting his contact in Tokyo, Henderson (Charles Gray. who apparently has the nine lives of a cat, fittingly, since he was cast as Blofeld in Diamonds are Forever), who is murdered before he has a chance to spill any useful information, Bond manages to catch a ride with the assailants to Osato Chemicals.  IT turns out Mr. Osato (Teru Shimada) is one of Blofeld's men and has some secret documents hidden in his safe, which Bond gets by using his pocket electronic safe cracker.  (Why do these dimbulb criminals always keep incriminating evidence in their safes?  Hasn't anybody ever heard of not leaving a trail?)

Bond has Q deliver "Little Nellie" which turns out to be a mini-helicopter, which Bond uses to scope out an island suspected of being the secret hideaway of the criminals, but finds nothing but volcanoes.  So Bond goes undercover (even more undercover than he already is, I mean), posing, with the help of makeup, as a Japanese fisherman, married to a native island girl, who is also a secret agent, Kissy Suzuki (Mie Hama).

Meanwhile the bad guys capture a Russian spaceship, and of course, the Russians blame the Americans.  The Americans deny it, and counter with the threat of repercussions  if their next ship launch is sabotaged.  Someone seems to be trying to get a full-scale war going between the Americans and the Russians.  Bond suspects his old nemesis SPECTRE is behind it all, and of course he is mostly right.  Blofeld meets with agents from Red China who stand to benefit most from an all-out war between the two super-powers.  But he isn't doing it for altruistic reasons for the Red Chinese.  He demands a boatload of money for his endeavors.

Bond and company find out that the "crater lake" on the island is fake, and tries to infiltrate the secret hideaway of Blofeld (Donald Pleasance), eventually meeting up with him face-to-face (for the first time in the ongoing series).  As usually, Bond is captured, and as usual, Bond gets away, helping the Americans and the Russians to narrowly avoid going to war in the process.

This one is a pretty good entry in the oeuvre, as you noticed in my ranking, even if I didn't particularly care for the Nancy Sinatra version of the theme song.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Movie: #21

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Theme Song:  #15  (for the instrumental opening, not the Louis Armstrong love theme, which I really don't count, since it only briefly appears in the middle of the movie.)

Best Bond Quote: (In response to Bunt's asking if something is wrong, after being fondled by one of the female patients) "I just feel a slight stiffness coming on."

Best Bond Villain Quote: Blofeld:  "Respectable baronets from the College of Heralds do not seduce female patients in clinics".(Somehow I think Blofeld's advice is wasted on Bond...)

Best Weapon:  There is nothing really new in this film.  Even the electronic safe cracker, which was pocket size in You Only Live Twice pales by comparison since this one requires a winch to get it into the office where Bond needs it.

Just in case you didn't know this was another James Bond movie, the producers and writers spent every effort to let you know.  In the opening sequence, the new incarnation of James Bond (George Lazenby) tries to save a girl from committing suicide by drowning and fends of an attack by unknown assailants.  Instead of being grateful the girl drives off as Bond quips "this never happened to the other guy..."

And then during the opening credits sequences we are inundated with some scenes from the previous five Bond films, in which Lazenby was not cast as Bond, but since they are just clips of previous villains and Bond girls and femme fatales, you aren't even aware that it was not him  (unless of course, you had seen the previous five films...)  But the producers apparently just wanted to make sure you knew it was a Bond film and not some cheapjack knockoff, I guess.

Lazenby has been vilified as the worst James Bond of the series, and much of that is probably due to the script as anything else.  Of course, Lazenby decided to make it only one Bond movie, since I guess he really didn't like his experiences.  (Note:  I always thought it was because of his poor performance that the producers threw a bunch of money at Sean Connery to come back to the series, but according my book, mentioned in the header of this post, Lazenby declined to continue in the role on his own.)

The sad part of the movie, however is not the fact that Lazenby was not the great successor to Connery that most people hoped.  It's not even that the plot was pretty tame and somewhat ridiculous as far as Bond plots go.  My opinion is that the worst thing about the movie is that Telly Savalas was cast as Ernst Stavro Blofeld.  Not that Savalas was not good in the role.  Just that he had to play a role in the movie.  Savalas was a great actor, whether he was playing a lollipop sucking detective good guy in Kojak, or a psychotic killer with a misplaced sense of morals as Maggott in The Dirty Dozen.

Savalas was the second actor to essay Blofeld on the screen, following Donald Pleasance's performance in You Only Live Twice. (I don't actually count the previous Blofeld's since you only really saw his cat, and the actor who played him was not even credited.)  The omnipresent pet cat of Blofeld's only makes a very brief appearance in one scene.  This shouldn't deter you from the performance of Savalas, however, but until the scene, it could have been any villain, and it would have been a lapse to me.

Bond becomes interested in Teresa (Diana Rigg), who is the daughter of Marco Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti), a Mafia don in the French Mafia.  Draco tries to bribe Bond into romancing his daughter with the dowry of a million dollars, which Bond counters to include information on the whereabouts of Blofeld.  When Teresa finds out about this she demands that her father give him the information without including her in the deal.

Bond ends up romancing Teresa anyway, and the two fall in love.  Meanwhile Bond discovers that Blofeld has a rehab center for allergies in the Swiss Alps.  Of course, Blofeld's intentions are not truly altruistic.  He is conditioning his patients, all women, to be unwitting carriers of a plague that will sterilize entire species (plants, animals humans) unless the world pays a ransom, (the less than stellar evil plot I previously referenced).  Bond gains access to the center through the auspices of a genealogical institute which Blofeld has hired to prove he is a descendant of a dynasty called the de Bleuchamps (supposedly the French variation of Blofeld).

Since Bond has previously met Blofeld face to face in You Only Live Twice, it is curious that Blofeld does not recognize Bond right away.  He is accepted by Blofeld in his guise as Sir Hillary Bray, the genealogist sent to work with Blofeld to determine the authenticity of his claim.  But because Bond tries to woo a couple of the female patients, Blofeld and his right hand woman, Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat), determine his true identity.

Bond escapes the clutches of Blofeld, but in the ensuing actions, his lover Teresa is kidnapped by Blofeld.  Because MI6 relieves him of his position in the efforts to capture Blofeld, and the world governments have decided to acquiesce to Blofeld's extortion demands, Bond has to rely on help from Draco to save Teresa.

The Bond entry this time has all the requisite action and intrigue you come to expect from a Bond movie, but I have to admit Lazenby did nothing for me as Bond.  He just doesn't have the cachet that Connery did, nor does he have the humor that my favorite Bond, Roger Moore, had.  Savalas' Blofeld helps keep this one from being the worst Bond on my personal list, however.

Well, folks, that ends this entry.  Enjoy a martini while you wait for next month.

Quiggy

The Bond Age (Part II)

 

2017 marks 55 years of James Bond on the movie screen.  To celebrate this momentous year, I am undertaking to review the entire oeuvre of Bond films, all 24 of them (at this juncture in history), two at a time.  These will appear on the 7th day of each month  (Bond's agent number being "007").  At the beginning of each entry I will give my personal ranking of each movie and of each movie's theme song.  (These are subjective rankings and do not necessarily agree with the view of the average Bond fan, so take it as you will).  I hope you enjoy them, nay, even look forward to the next installment.  As an added note, I am deeply indebted to Tom DeMichael, and his book James Bond FAQ,  for tidbits of information I with which I am peppering these entries.                                                                                                                                                                                                  -Quiggy

Sean Connery continued his portrayal of the iconic spy after his two initial performances in Dr. No and From Russia with Love  (see The Bond Age (Part I).   James Bond was definitely on his way to becoming the box office draw that would continue for the next 50 years.

Among the candidates for the role of Bond's next villain, Auric Gold finger, was Theodore Bikel, whom fans of The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming! will recognize as the captain of the Russian submarine, and whom also was a prolific stage actor, having originated the role of the von Trapp household head in the first stage production of The Sound of Music, and did a stint in the role of Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.  My DVD of Goldfinger has his screen test.

The role of Goldfinger actually went to Gert Frobe, s German actor who had been a former member of the Nazi party in Germany during that party's regime.  But as noted in my reference book, he was not entirely on Hitler's side.  He apparently hid two Jewish friends in his home throughout the war.   Frobe had to learn his lines phonetically, which caused some problems during the filming.  Honor Blackman stated that she couldn't really understand him and only spoke her lines when he stopped speaking.  Michael Collins dubbed his voice in the film.

Dubbing an actor's or actress' voice was becoming not so uncommon in the Bond films.  Both Ursula Andress and Daniela Bianchi in Dr. No and From Russia with Love had been dubbed as well, Adolpho Celi, in the following Bond entry,  Thunderball. was dubbed by another man, Robert Rietty.  It should be noted that dubbing was not done any of these times because they were terrible actors, just that their individual accents were thought, at least by the producers, to be a bit hard to understand.  Frobe was a consummate actor in his own native Germany and Celi made movies in Italy for years.  Let's face it, unless you were used to Herve Villechaize from Fantasy Island, you probably would have been hard pressed to understand him in The Man with the Golden Gun.  (Yes, Golden Gun was made before Fantasy Island came on TV, but you must remember I was brought up in a rather repressive household, and didn't actually get to see that one until I was much older.)

Goldfinger (1964)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Movie: #3

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Theme Song: #10

Best Bond Quote:  (A prefatory note:  I actually LIKE the Beatles, but this one was just too good to not include...) "My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done.  Such as drinking Dom Perignon   '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit.  That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs."

Best Bond Villain Quote: (After being asked by Bond if he expects Bond to talk) "No, Mr. Bond!  I expect you to die!"

Best Weapon:  Despite all of Bond's accoutrements for this film, the absolute best weapon HAS to be Oddjob's deadly hat...

In what was to become a tradition, the opening segments of Goldfinger included the final moments of his previous case, the destruction of a drug laboratory, and the execution of a drug lord via electrocution in a bathtub.  This was the first Bond film to actually have James Bond defeat an enemy and wrap up a case before the credits.  (In From Russia with Love, it was just an introduction to Bond's coming nemesis, and the "real" Bond himself was not actually in the scene.)

After the credits, featuring Shirley Bassey singing the theme song (actually the first to have the Bond theme song with lyrics during the credits.  Again, in From Russia with Love only the music played, and you did not actually hear the lyrics version until the end credits).  Bassey's song was the also first one to chart as a single on Billboard's Top 100. It made it to #8 on March 27, 1965 where it stayed for two weeks.

Bond thinks he's on vacation in Miami Beach, but in reality it turns out he has been sent there by M to work with the CIA, and Felix Leiter (Cec Linder), to investigate Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe), an industrialist who is thought to have been illegally smuggling gold.  He finds Goldfinger cheating at cards, using an accomplice, Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton), who spies on his opponent's cards from a hotel room, using a telescope.  Bond uncovers the ruse and forces Goldfinger to lose money to the oppponent, which of course doesn't make Goldfinger happy.

Goldfinger gets his revenge by having Oddjob (Harold Sakata), his valet, knock out Bond and paint Jill with gold paint, which suffocates her.  Bond then challenges Goldfinger to a game of golf, and through subterfuge, nicks him again for more money.  Meanwhile he puts a homing device on Goldfinger's car and chases him through Switzerland.  Goldfinger has another shadow, in the person of Tilly Soames (Tania Mallet), who is later revealed to be the sister of Jill.  She is trying to kill him for revenge of the death of Jill.

In the course of the film, Oddjob and his henchmen eventually capture Bond and make him a prisoner, also killing Tilly in the process.  Goldfinger it turns out has a plan to rob Fort Knox of it's gold.  At least that's he plan as stated to a plethora of underworld mob figures he has meet him with various implements he plans to use in his heist, called "Operation Grand Slam".  Evil villains being what they are in the Bond films, he kills off the underworld characters in one fell swoop so he won't have to share.

Bond meets up with Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman).  (Fleming's actual name for Goldfinger's right hand woman, I'm not trying to be prurient...)  Ms. Galore is immune to Bond's charms, although they do not come right out and state her sexuality, it's obvious she is supposed to be a lesbian.  But since two of the Bond women are already dead, I think you can guess how successful he will eventually be.

As it turns out, Goldfinger's actual plan is to break into Fort Knox and set off a nuclear bomb, which would contaminate the supply stored there and make his own supply that much more valuable.  (Although this sounds pretty ingenious in theory, I can't actually vouch for how it would work in reality, but it would definitely make the gold untouchable for years, if the bomb didn't actually demolish the supply in the first place).  Bond's goal then is to prevent the event from happening, and this makes for a pretty exciting final reel of he movie.

Thunderball (1965)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Movie: #22

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the Theme Song: #3

Best Bond Quote: (taunting Emilio Largo who is #2 in the SPECTRE organization, after he defeats him in a card game) "I thought I saw a specter at your shoulder".

Best Bond Villain Quote: Fiona Volpe (Largo's right hand woman):  "But, of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond.   James Bond.  The one where he has to make love to a woman, and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing.   She repents and turns to the side of right and virtue...but not this one."

Best Weapon:  Bond uses a jet pack early in the movie (before the credits).  This thing was actually a prototype that had been invented just a few years before.

In the pre-credits sequence, Bond watches the funeral of Col. Jacques Bouvar (Bob Simmons).  But as he watches Bouvar's widow leave the funeral he realizes that the "Widow" is actually Bouvar himself and follows him home and kills him.

The credits roll wit Tom Jones singing the theme song to "Thunderball". Johnny Cash also recorded a Thunderball song for the movie, entirely different, but it was not used.  The Tom Jones' version made it to #25 on the Billboard Top 100 on Jan. 22, 1966.

Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi), and the rest of the heads of SPECTRE attend a meeting in which Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the number one guy in the organization executes a member who has been secretly giving false numbers of the actual monies being taken by his sector.  Largo then outlines his plans to extort money from the various nations by hijacking two nuclear bombs and threatening to explode them  if the nations don't pony up the extortion.

Meanwhile, Bond, who is supposed to be recuperating at a spa, uncovers part of the plan.  He doesn't uncover it all, but his neighbor, a man whose face is completely bandaged seems to not be on the up and up.  In reality the man is being groomed and facially altered to take the place of an airline pilot, François Derval (Paul Stassino), so that he can hijack the plane carrying the bombs.  By coincidence, François' sister, Dominique (Claudine Auger), also called "Domino", is Largo's mistress.  When Largo kills her brother, he eventually creates an enemy with Domino, although she does not initially know he has done so.

The game continues with a lot of underwater sequences which involves Bond trying to avoid a couple of deadly sharks, and several of Largo's henchmen, as Bond tries to locate where the bombs have been hidden.  He also has to deal with Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi), who as Largo's right hand woman, alternately plays with Bond and his seductions and even tries to kill him at one point.

One of the reasons this movie ranks on my list as one of the worst in the series is the underwater sequences, which often causes confusion as to whom is on whom's side, and the final reel in which a battle between Bond and Largo looks as if it was edited by a lunatic on acid.  The movie is standard Bond fare otherwise, but a lot of the action sequences, I thought, could have been done better.

Well, folks, time to fire up the old Plymouth and head home.  Still waiting on James Bond to offer me one of his cast off Aston-Martin's....

Quiggy

The Bond Age (Part I)

 

2017 marks 55 years of James Bond on the movie screen.  To celebrate this momentous year, I am undertaking to review the entire oeuvre of Bond films, all 24 of them (at this juncture in history), two at a time.  These will appear on the 7th day of each month  (Bond's agent number being "007").  At the beginning of each entry I will give my personal ranking of each movie and of each movie's theme song.  (These are subjective rankings and do not necessarily agree with the view of the average Bond fan, so take it as you will).  I hope you enjoy them, nay, even look forward to the next installment.  As an added note, I am deeply indebted to Tom DeMichael, and his book James Bond FAQ,  for tidbits of information I with which I am peppering these entries.                                                                                                                                                                                                  -Quiggy



Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond, was an ex-intelligence officer for Britain and based his character, James Bond, on his experiences in Naval Intelligence, as well as some of his own likes and dislikes.  Essentially Bond was Fleming, and vice-versa.  In 1953, Fleming published the first Bond novel, Casino Royale, and the legend was born.  Whether or not the legend would be remembered today had it not been for Hollywood calling is a matter of speculation.  It was a huge success in the UK, but outside the UK, sales were not so dramatic...

However, one thing is true.  Americans, who were blissfully unaware of a secret agent 007 just outside the door, so to speak, immediately made Fleming and his creation a huge hit after John F. Kennedy claimed that the book From Russia with Love was one of his favorites.  (It is a tribute to how popular Kennedy was as a President that his saying this made Bond a hit in the US.)  Thus a case could be made that Jack Kennedy was responsible for putting the whole Bond phenomenon into motion.

It wasn't long before Hollywood came (always knowing a good thing when they saw it).  Dr. No, which was actually the sixth Bond novel, became the first one to be translated to the big screen.  Many actors were considered for what was to become the iconic role of James Bond.  The part went to Sean Connery, a former runner-up in a Mr. Universe pageant, and an actor with some small roles.  It is on record that the suggestion to cast him as Bond came from producer Albert Broccoli's wife who saw him in Darby O'Gill and the Little People.  Connery almost turned it down because he foresaw that it would be a recurring role and was reluctant to be tied up in a series.  Fortunately for him and us, he did accept the role.

The first Bond novel chosen to be filmed was actually the 6th novel in the Fleming output, Dr. No.

Note: This was actually not the first representation of the James Bond character on film.  In 1954, the CBS TV show Climax! made its third episode center around the story of Casino Royale, but although this does count as a precursor to the Bond phenomenon as we know it, I don't think it really should count.  For one thing, they changed his name from "James" to "Jimmy", and for another they cast him with an American actor, Barry Nelson.  The most egregious thing about it was they changed him from a British Secret Service officer to a CIA operative, and made Felix, now called "Clarence",  Leiter, whom in the books was a CIA operative, into a British operative.  The saving grace of this TV episode was the casting of Peter Lorre as Bond villain Le Chiffre.  It won't kill you to watch it, but it is a pretty shoddy production.

Additional note:  Over the course of this series I will only be reviewing the legitimate Bond movies.  At some other time I may do a solo review of the Connery helmed semi-remake of Thunderball, the aptly named Never Say Never Again, but this series will not deal with it except in passing.  And if you ask real nice, I may do one of the Peter sellers spoof Casino Royale.  (On the other hand, if you ask real nice I can adopt an attitude of ignoring it... your choice...)

Dr No (1962)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the movie: #13

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the theme song: #1  (It is the thing that defines a Bond movie after all...)

Best Bond Quote:  "I think they were on their way to a funeral." (referring to a hearse full of villians he just caused to crash)

Best Bond Villain Quote:  Dr. No:  "The successful criminal brain is always superior.  It has to be."

Best Weapon:  Walther PPK.  (I only include this category for the first movie just to be consistent, since I intend to add it to every movie..  But since Bond only exchanges his favorite Berretta for the Walther, there's no real cool weapon to note:  Unless you count his car.  But it was only used to run someone off the road, it wasn't actually a sophisticated weapon like some of the later movie cars.)

Three blind men tap their way across Kingston. Meanwhile Commander Strangways (Timothy Moxon) and three other friends are engaged in a card game, but Strangways has to break off to report in to HQ in London.  As he gets to his car, the three blind men (who are not so blind after all) kill him.  Shortly thereafter they also kill his secretary and make off with secret files marked "Crab Key" and Dr. No."

The movie cuts to a private gambling club in London where a man and a woman are facing off in a high stakes game of baccarat.  The women introduces herself to her opponent as "Trench.  Sylvia Trench."  To which her companion introduces himself as "Bond.  James Bond."  (That's right, folks, the first time Bond introduces himself in that iconic way is in response to a woman upstaging him by introducing HERSELF that way...) Sylvia Trench, by the way, was played by Eunice Gayson, who only had a chance at the part because it was turned down by none other than Lois Maxwell, who picked the role of Miss Moneypenny instead, and thus history was made.  The Trench character, which was going to be a recurring role, got ditched after the first two movies and Maxwell continued on for the next 22 years as Moneypenny.

Bond gets called into MI6 offices, where M (Bernard Lee) assigns him to find out was has happened to Strangways and his secretary.  (See, the "blind" men carried off the bodies, so no one knows what has happened for sure.)  He is also told that Strangways was investigating some mysterious goings-on for the Americans, that were interfering with attempted rocket launches from Cape Canaverel.  M makes Bond trade in his favorite Berreta for a Walther PPK, courtesy of Maj. Boothroyd (Peter Burton), the character who would eventually later become known as Q (although not with Burton in the role since he was unavailable to reprise the role in the second outing.)

Bond catches a plane to Jamaica where he is picked up by a driver to take him to the Government House.  The car is followed by another car and Bond gives the driver orders to ditch the tail.  He then reveals he is on to the ruse; that the driver is an agent of Dr. No, not a government employee, but the driver commits suicide rather than talk.

Bond finds out two people might be able to help him in his quest.  One is Professor Dent (Anthony Dawson), one of the three other companions present at the game from which Strangways disappeared.  The other is a ship's captain, Quarrel (John Kitzmiller), who had taken Strangways out on trips into the Carribbean.  When Bond goes to see Quarrel, he is accosted, but once his identity is revealed, he meets Felix Leiter (Jack Lord), a CIA operative.

Quarrel tells Bond that Strangways had been on Crab Key inspecting rocks and took some samples.  But when Bond goes to Prof. Dent, Dent tells him the rocks were worthless.  Bond is suspicious, and finds out the rocks were radioactive.  He makes a date with Dent's secretary, who lures him to her apartment.  Along the way, a hearse filled with the three "blind" men give chase, but Bond manages to help them get to their own funeral.

Dent's secretary, Miss Taro (Zena Marshall), of course is surprised to see him and manages to try to delay him until Dent can show up, but Bond turns the tables on her and has her arrested before he arrives.  Bond then kills Dent after Dent had tried to kill him first.  Then Bond and Quarrel and Leiter go to check out Crab Key.  It is owned by a mysterious Chinese man named Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman) who is very secretive and has his island highly guarded.

On the island Bond meets up with a shell seeking woman in a bikini (and I feel cheated because when he finds her in the book she is naked...)  The women is Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress).  She and Bond are captured by Dr No's henchmen and taken to his secret lair.  It appears that all is lost for Bond, since he is beaten up and left in a cell, but you know that won't keep a good man like Bond down (at least not in the first movie of a series anyway...)

How Bond gets away and what he does to Dr. No's operation I will leave for you to find out for yourself.  This being the first of the series, they didn't have the budget to make it as exciting as it could have been, and Wiseman is not the best Bond villain ever, hence the #13 ranking.  But a completist couldn't pass it up without at least one viewing.

From Russia with Love (1963)

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the movie: #7

Quiggy's Personal Ranking of the theme song: #20

Best Bond Quote: "Yes, she had her kicks." (referring to Klebb and her poison dagger shoe.)

Best Bond Villain Quote: Blofeld:   "Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

Best Weapon:  Gotta be the aforementioned dagger shoe.

Several firsts for the Bond movies came into the fray on this, the second outing.  At the beginning of the movie we are treated to three of them.  One: FRWL is the first to have a pre-credits sequence  This one not exactly involving Bond, as it turns out, but a look-alike who is destined to be the victim of our villain Don Grant in a training exercise.  Two:  It is the first to have a legitimate theme song written expressly for this movie.  Admittedly you don't get a version with lyrics until the end credits, but it still counts.  Third:   The titillating shadows sequences on which the opening credits were run was also a first.

As stated in the previous paragraph, the opening sequence involves someone who looks like Bond (but the audience is fooled until the very end of the sequence, I might add).  The faux Bond is being tailed through a courtyard by assassin Donald Grant (Robert Shaw), and is eventually killed by Grant.  It is then revealed that it was a training exercise and that Grant had been timed on his success.

Rosa Klebb (Lotta Lenye) comes on the scene looking for an assassin of Grant's caliber.  Unbeknownst to almost anyone, she has defected from Russia and is now working exclusively for SPECTRE.  This movie also has the first appearance of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE.  He assigns both Klebb (referred to as #3) and Kronnstein (Vladek Sheybal), a chess champion, (but also referred to as #5) to develop a plan to smuggle a Lektor decoding device out of Russia.

A complicated plan is initiated, in which a Russian secretary who works for Klebb (but does't know she is no longer a trusted comrade), will approach the British Secret Service with the ruse that she is planning to defect to the West, and will bring with her a Lektor device.  The ruse involves James Bond, because she will only turn the device over to him.

Meanwhile, back in M's office in MI6, M (Bernard Lee) briefs Bond on his mission.  Again we are treated to a couple of new traditions to the Bond story.  One: Q (Desmond Llewelyn) makes his first appearance, although he is credited as "Boothroyd", the same name used by the quartermaster in Dr. No.  Also we get to see the ingeniousness of the writers at work, as this is the first appearance of any trick weapons (in this case, among others, a trick valise that explodes tear gas if not opened properly.)

The trade-off is scheduled to happen in Istanbul, and a majority of the movie was shot on location.  In Istanbul Bond hooks up with his contact, Kerim Bey (Pedro Armandariz).  Bond and Bey spy on the Russian consolate, where Bey notes that one of the people in the room is Krilinku (Fred Haggerty), a thorn in Bey's side who has attempted to kill Bey twice, once by a bomb in his office, and later at a gypsy camp to which Bey has taken Bond.  Bey enlists Bond's help to kill Krilencu before the other can succeed in the same endeavor.

 Bond meets up with his contact, Tatiana Romanova (Daniella Bianchi), who appears in his room, ready for fun. They then arrange for a transfer of the Lektor device.  Bond is followed by a Russian agent, but the agent is killed by Grant, who, working for SPECTRE, has his agenda to see that the transfer is successful.  Meanwhile Tatiana has actually fallen in love with Bond and wants the transfer to the Brits of the device to succeed.

With the Lektor, Bond and Tatiana board a train with Bey, where they are followed by Grant.  Grant poses as a fellow British Secret Service agent, having actually killed the real agent, and  getting Bond to accept his ruse.  Eventually, after drugging Tatiana, Grant captures Bond and takes ownership of the Lektor, revealing himself to be an agent of SPECTRE.  In a grapple for supremacy on the train, Bond kills Grant, and he takes the Lektor and Tatiana and they jump from the train.

The final reel contains some decent material still.  A stolen truck in which Bond and Tatiana try to escape, a helicopter with SPECTRE agents tries to stop them, and a motorboat chase on the sea, and Klebb and her poisoned dagger shoe fill the final minutes of the film.  Bond, of course, succeeds (would it have been any other way?) and the credits roll with the vocal version of the theme song, sung by Matt Munro, at the end.



Well, folks, gotta fire up the old Plymouth and head home.  It's not an Aston-Martin, and I would gladly accept any castoffs from Bond, but it will have to do.

Quiggy