Illustration by Terry Fan https://bibliocolors.blogspot.com/2013/10/musica-de-tardor-musica-de-otono-fall.html
I don't know about you, but while I'm working or cooking - or if I'm alone in the house - I like to have music playing in the background. I enjoy creating playlists - sometimes random assortments of my favourite songs and sometimes themed. During a stressful period earlier in the summer, I created a playlist of sweet and soothing summer music to play when I was working rather than my usual randomly selected playlists. Each song in the playlist had to be soothing and/or uplifting and to 'sound summery'. It really helped to keep me feeling relaxed and happy, but I also found myself really appreciating the seasonality of it.
However, just this week I have begun to think that my lovely summer playlist is becoming less seasonally appropriate. I'll play it for maybe another week, but during that time I'll be selecting another group of songs, Autumn songs. This will be my soundtrack for the next couple of months, until my thoughts begin to turn towards a Winter playlist...
What is it that makes music seasonally appropriate? I think it's a very personal thing. Some of the Autumn tracks I've already selected are songs that are specifically about Autumn - Billie Holliday singing 'Autumn in New York' or 'The Reach' by Dan Fogelberg for example. Others are songs that I associate with the Autumn, probably because it was at that time of year that I originally heard them a lot on the radio: Shawn Colvin's 'Sunny Came Home' always reminds me of driving my car on a mellow, golden day in early Autumn. And some songs just sound Autumnal - I really don't know why, but to me, Gordon Lightfoot's voice is the very essence of how Autumn should sound. What sounds like Autumn to you?
Embracing Autumn: Create Your Autumn Soundtrack
Create your own playlist of Autumn music to accompany your journey through the season. Is there a particular artist or genre you like to listen to at this time of year? A particular voice or instrument that sounds like Autumn to your ears? 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' by Green Day - or 'Autumn' from Vivaldi's Four Seasons?
If you need more inspiration, lists of Autumnal music (with some overlap) may be found here, here, here, here and here.
On the Eve of Imbolc I offer you a beautiful piece of music honouring Brigid, the Goddess who is most associated with the festival.
Winter Blessings and Beauties: Day 93
Imbolc Eve
Light a candle for Imbolc, for Brigid, for the advent of Spring, and listen to this song, 'Gabhaim Molta Bríde' ('We Praise Brigid') by Áine Minogue. Blessings of Imbolc upon you!
It seems a bit of a cheat, but I have postponed the post I had planned for today after stumbling across this lovely article, filled with inspiring suggestions for literary treats (including films, stories, poems, talks, podcasts and music) to enjoy during this month. I hope you'll forgive me - in fact once you've dipped into the treasures on offer I'm sure you will!
Music taps into our memories and emotions with the same immediacy as fragrances do. So I rather like the idea of creating seasonal playlists with those pieces of music that for whatever reason bring back memories or evoke feelings of spring, summer, autumn and winter.
For a winter playlist, the obvious choices are all those Christmas songs that become inescapable in the lead-up to the end of December, but I'd like to think more broadly than that - a winter playlist that evokes not just one festival but the whole season.
What songs or pieces of music make you think of winter when you hear them? It may be pop hits that were in the charts during the colder months, classical pieces which evoke winter (such as 'Winter' from Vivaldi's Four Seasons, or Debussy's 'The Snow is Dancing'), or pieces of music that just 'sound' cold and icy, like 'Somebody That I Used to Know' by Gotye. Or perhaps there's a song that always puts a smile on your face when you hear it because it reminds you of a treasured winter memory.
Here are a few of my favourite pieces of winter music which always put me in a seasonal mood - some are specifically about winter, but some just 'feel' like winter to me. Which songs would it be for you?
'Valley Winter Song' by Fountains of Wayne
'Northern Lights' by Renaissance
'Fairytale' by Enya
'The Reach' by Dan Fogelberg
'River' by Joni Mitchell
'White Winter Hymnal' by Fleet Foxes
'Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane
'Porcelain' by Moby
'Wintersong' by Sarah MacLachlan
'Sleeping Satellite' by Tasmin Archer
'Sometimes' by Erasure
Winter Blessings and Beauties: Day 19
Winter Music
Immerse yourself in the season by creating a playlist of your favourite winter music. Listen to it snuggled under a blanket by the fire, or while you're out on a winter walk, let it sink into your bones and inspire your winter dreams...
As I mentioned in my last post, I was unable to post new photos to the blog for a while. So here are a few that I would have posted, had I been able to. It also serves as a quick round up of what IB and I have been up to.
In the spring, during a visit to a nearby farm I unexpectedly found myself helping deliver a calf as the cow was in difficulty and an extra pair of hands was needed. Luckily all went well and the photo shows both mother and baby both fit and well a short while afterwards.
IB and I spent an idyllic afternoon in May wandering in gorgeous bluebell woods. I could hardly bear to leave.
We have had many lovely times with friends in our local Pagan community - there have been Moots (monthly social gatherings), seasonal rituals, meals out to celebrate birthdays, and workshops - this photo is from a wand-making workshop.
There have been lots of interesting places to visit - to Brecon with my parents to meet up with my sister and brother-in-law...
...to Castell Henllys in Pembrokeshire to see Robin Williamson perform (a magical bardic evening in an Iron Age roundhouse by firelight)...
...to the beautiful Aberglasney Gardens to wander in beauty and enjoy a delicious meal on the lakeside terrace...
And just a quick recommendation for my friend Al Chan's latest project. He has teamed up with Mark Caputo as 'Yep' and their debut album 'Once' is released today. You can read all about it, listen to some tracks and download it from here.
Al was kind enough to play us a few sneak preview tracks when we were over in San Francisco. I loved it, and I hope lots of other people will too!
I recently heard a new cover of an old song, John Fogerty's version of Rick Nelson's 'Garden Party'. I first heard the original song played on the radio years ago, and although I understood most of the lyrics at the time, the passage of years helped me hear it this time around with deepened understanding.
The song gives Nelson's thoughts on the negative reaction of some of his fans when he wanted to branch out from playing the 50's style pop music he was known for into 70's country rock. The full lyrics can be found here (and an explanation of some of the more obscure references is given on the Wikipedia link above), but the lines which really struck a chord with me this time around were those of the chorus:
"But it's all right now,
I learned my lesson well.
You see, you can't please everyone,
So you got to please yourself"
It was the notion of pleasing yourself that really got me thinking. Normally you hear the words 'Please yourself!' as the dismissive end to an argument, or being told you seem 'pleased with yourself' is an accusation of smugness.
However, what if pleasing oneself meant having the bravery and integrity to live up to one's own standards rather than those of others?
Nelson sings:
"When I got to the garden party,
They all knew my name
No one recognized me,
I didn't look the same"
and
"If you gotta play at garden parties,
I wish you a lotta luck
But if memories were all I sang,
I'd rather drive a truck"
In other words, people were happy with him while he continued to play the part they wanted him to. But when he found his own direction in life and ditched the preppy image and 50's pop for a more hippy style that reflected where he was at that time in his life, he found himself booed offstage. Even so, he decided he'd rather be true to what he believed in than pander to popularity.
In the song, I think Nelson is talking about coming to terms with the fact that although you can't please everyone, at the end of the day the important thing is to be true to yourself and your own ideals and ethics. In witchcraft, many people, myself included, subscribe to what is known as 'The Wiccan Rede' which appears in many forms, the most simple and concise of which is, 'An it harm none, do what thou wilt' - in other words, as long as you're not hurting anyone (or anything?), it's OK to do whatever you like. In some ways this may seem way more permissive than other codes of behaviour such as the Ten Commandments, but actually it is very robust. It is clear: Harm NONE, not harm as few as possible, or 'harm not thy neighbour'. Harm None.
Although it is impossible to pre-think every single action through to all potential outcomes to ensure it will harm none, I believe that it is important to try to live our lives in non-harmful ways, taking our co-existence with the needs, feelings and rights of others into consideration. Christianity says the same thing in another way, 'Do unto others as you would be done by them'. My notion of pleasing myself may mean living up to my own ideals, but I do not exist in a vacuum, and I know well that I am part of a complex interconnection of other beings. Being pleased with myself means not doing things just to please others, but choosing to do them because I can see how they contribute to the creation and well-being of the kind of world I want to live in. A world of beauty, balance and delight (in the words of Donald Engstrom-Reese).
I am trying to please myself in this lifetime. Being true to my own beliefs and ethics and living up to them. I don't always succeed - sometimes I displease others by not doing what they want, other times I am a human doormat - but I keep trying so that on balance, I can say I am pleased with myself. You truly can't please everyone, but you can try to please yourself.
I first heard The Rubinoos back in 1977, when I was 13. I fell instantly in love with their infectious cover of an old Tommy James and the Shondells song, 'I Think We're Alone Now' (you can find their version - to my mind the definitive one, but then I'm a little biased! - here). I played their records incessantly throughout my teenage years - I'm still amazed that I never actually wore a hole through my copy of the LP 'Back to The Drawing Board'. They were absolutely my favourite band bar none, and my obsession with them expanded to an affection for their fellow label-mates on Beserkley Records, Greg Kihn and Jonathan Richman (and to a lesser extent, Earthquake). Yes I know, you've probably never heard of any of them! Beserkley titled itself 'Home of the Hits', but this was a rather inaccurate assessment of affairs. As a small independent label, Beserkley was hampered by limited resources (such as being unable to afford to send its artistes on national tours), or by sheer bad luck at critical moments (such as their distributor going bankrupt just as a new album needed to be in the shops). Either way, The Rubinoos never hit the big time.
Fast forward a few years to the mid-90's, when I discovered on a nostalgic trip through my old vinyl collection that I still really really liked The Rubinoos. Further investigation revealed that they had re-formed and were releasing albums again! My obsession reignited, and since then I've been a dedicated collector of their music and memorabilia. Yet I'd still never seen them play live - partly because they mostly play in either California or Tokyo which is a bit of a trek from Wales! They played in Spain about 6 years ago, but I didn't find out in time to make the trip.
So I was thrilled to find they were playing a mini-tour of Spain in February 2009, and absolutely determined that I'd be there. Still rather a long way to go, but how could I miss this chance? Cathy & Julian agreed to come with me to Barcelona to sample the heady mix of Gaudi, tapas and Californian power-pop!
Before the concert I posted on The Rubinoos fans' Yahoo list about how excited I was to finally be seeing them perform live, and received a lovely reply from the band's bass player, Al Chan inviting me to come and introduce myself to the band at the show. This was wonderful, but also made me incredibly nervous - I knew I would be completely awe-struck and tongue tied if I had the chance to actually meet my idols.
By the time we left the hotel for the evening my tummy was already doing flip-flops and I was absolutely certain I wouldn't be able to eat any dinner. We were uncertain what time the gig started (in all the chaos of my departure I hadn't written it down and the tickets didn't specify!), so we decided to go straight there early and then kill time in a bar or restaurant if necessary. At 7.30pm when we arrived at the venue (The Apolo 2) the place was in complete darkness and for a moment my heart sank: we must have got the date wrong! But when Julian experimentally pushed a door, it opened, and we entered. Going on through heavy double doors, we followed the sound of music.
To my utter astonishment and delight, the next door we opened revealed the Rubinoos on stage, doing their sound-check. And they were playing one of my absolute favourite songs, 'I Never Thought It Would Happen' (an apt title at that particular moment)! I stood there in the doorway in stunned bliss, wearing a goofy grin and unable to believe this moment was real. When they finished the song, we asked the guy doing the sound set up what time to come back and were advised 'about 10-ish'.
That left a bit of time to kill, so we went round the corner to a cafe and had a couple of beers, and then found a small restaurant where I picked at some felafels and salad, still feeling very nervous. By now it was 9.30pm and I was fidgety and anxious to get back to the Apolo 2. So we strolled back and entered. We got some drinks at the bar and I bought the latest album, 'Hodge Podge' (a special Spain-only release to coincide with the tour), then we found a seat at the back. But we weren't seated long before the support band, Suzy & Los Quattro came on, and we moved to a comfortable place at the end of the bar from where short little me could see the stage over everyone's heads.
Suzy & Los Quattro were pretty good, but my nerves didn't subside until The Rubinoos appeared. Just hearing those familiar tones melted my anxiety, and then I was swept away by the music. The set list (for the record, just in case another Rubinoos fan reads this) was Altamont, Arcade Queen, Hard To Get, Early Winter, Tonight, Driving Music, I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend, Perfect Stranger, Stingray, Must Be A Word, I Never Thought It Would Happen, Hit The Nerve, In The Worst Way, Amnesia, I Think We're Alone Now, Rock and Roll Is Dead, and Sugar Sugar (encore).
The band's reputation as a great live act proved to be well-founded. They hit just the right balance between sounding fresh yet polished, tight yet relaxed; and the between songs banter is witty and entertaining, drawing in the audience and creating a great atmosphere.
Just after 'Hit The Nerve', Al Chan announced that they had been asked to dedicate the next song ('In The Worst Way') to me! Unnoticed by me, Cathy had sneaked off to the front and handed the band a note asking them to dedicate a song to me because I'd come all the way from Wales to see them! I was called to the front and spent the remainder of the gig at the foot of the stage in a happy daze singing myself hoarse and applauding until my hands hurt.
Finally the concert was over (I wished it could have gone on and on), but luckily Cathy & Julian were there to push star-struck me forward to get the band to sign my copy of 'Hodge Podge'. Jon Rubin, Al Chan, Susie Davis and Tommy Dunbar autographed the CD for me, we had a lovely chat with Al (who was just so friendly and welcoming), and Cathy & I got to have our photo taken with Jon. They jokingly asked me to get them a gig in Wales. Wouldn't that be amazing! Anyone want to come and see the band in Wales?!
At last we left, with me still grinning like an idiot. How lucky I am to have friends and family who will accompany me while I chase my dreams! How wonderful is a Universe that contains The Rubinoos! How amazing that 32 years after hearing the band for the first time on the radio I was singing and dancing in a beautiful Spanish city while they played live in front of me! How utterly incredible to have a song dedicated to me!
I'm still grinning and singing now, back safely in Wales. I Never Thought It Would Happen - but it did.
P.S. I've Googled the Barcelona concert but haven't been able to find any video from it. But here are The Rubinoos from the concert they played in Madrid the night before, playing (what else?), 'I Never Thought It Would Happen'.
As the end of the year is fast approaching, I thought it may be wise to look back and take stock of what I have learned this year - which includes, amongst other things:
I really love knitting.
I can make a great risotto - except when I am trying to impress friends who are round for dinner, when it magically morphs into bland stodge.
Sometimes life is weirder than a soap opera.
I enjoy planning seasonal rituals.
True friends rally round in times of crisis - and sometimes you don't realise what a true friend someone is until then.
I may be the only woman in the world who can't stand Sex and the City.
Waterproof mascara is worth its weight in gold.
I can wire a plug.
How to play Chinese Chequers.
Goslings grow really fast!
Bruce Springsteen is just as wonderful live as I always imagined he was.
The weather is completely unpredictable.
Chocolate Tiffin could well be the most delicious foodstuff on the planet.
Fiona at The Cottage Smallholder for writing like a dream and managing to make even me, who really doesn't enjoy cooking a whole lot, want to take up my garlic press and wooden spoon and get creating deliciousness
Mike at Team Spirit for sharing his funny and intriguing novel with us, and
Juliet at Crafty Green Poet - truly creative and lovely poetry to boot!
And I like:
The smell of lemons (I use lemon essential oil to clean my kitchen!)
I am not a morning person at the best of times. Since T left on 17th August, quite frankly I haven't wanted to get out of bed at all on some mornings. These are the bad days, when a great weight of grey depression presses down on me and everything just seems so pointless. Luckily for me, staying in bed is not an option, as the animals need feeding and letting out of their houses whether I feel like it or not. Dragging myself up and out feels like a Herculean task at such times, yet there is no doubt that doing so is better in the long-run for my sanity and my mood.
Even so, some days have passed in a tearful haze. Compared to this, I have found the angry days much easier to cope with. Although at times my anger has burned so white-hot I feared it would consume me, self-righteous fury feels much better than soul-sucking depression and despair!
Luckily, my brain is also involved, and I know, even if I can't always feel it, that these shifting emotions are all part of the process of coping, healing and moving on. The five stages of grief are said to be Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance, all of which I have experienced to some degree or another in the last week and a half. I expect to continue moving back and forth through them for quite some time to come, before I move fully into Acceptance. But for now, it helps to know they are normal, and to let them come and go.
It hasn't all been doom and gloom, though. I have been blessed with intervals of normality, working in the garden, soaking in the bath with a good book or talking with friends, family and neighbours. Occasionally the sun has come out, which seems to help enormously! I have been trying to self-care by getting enough sleep and eating healthily (although admittedly there has been more than one chocolate binge...). Music has helped too, either cheerful, dance-y stuff, or Kirsty MacColl's wry, funny observations on life and love. And I have found Alanis Morissette's 'You Oughta Know' at full volume astonishingly therapeutic! Occasionally the universe has sent little surprise gifts, such as yesterday, when I found these begonias uprooted and dumped by the roadside, presumably by someone clearing out their summer bedding plants. I thought the poor things looked like they still had plenty of life in them and deserved a second chance, so I brought them home and potted them up.
But more than anything I have been cheered and heartened by the love and care shown me by friends, family and the blogging community. As well as the lovely messages of support people left here after my last post, people have been phoning, emailing and sending cards/letters to let me know they are thinking of me. Many have offered to come and stay, to hold my hand or help me with the work here Halfway Up a Hill, or offered me their own living space as a 'bolt-hole' should I need one. Friends locally have stopped by with gifts of food in case I wasn't eating properly and taken me out on day trips to get away from it all. And today I received a lovely, lovely gift from my friend Paul, which touched me so much I cried and laughed all at once. You can see it here.
Thank you all so much. Your love, kindness and support has helped immeasurably. This is a hard time for me, but at the same time I know just how lucky I am to have such wonderful people around me.
I first discovered Bruce Springsteen in my teens nearly (gulp!) 30 years ago. I saw a clip of him playing 'Rosalita' live on TV, and I was hooked. The energy and enthusiasm of his performance, the swirling music, the quixotic lyrics, the tightness of the band, his dynamism... magical!
I bought all his albums, and whenever a new one was due for release I would count down the days and be there at the record shop to snap it up. And I tried to get tickets to see him live - how I tried! But every time they would all sell out before I could get one.
I continued to love Bruce over the years, and continued to try and get tickets to see him live. I'm not a great concert-goer to be honest. Over the years I've seen some big names perform - Yes, Jethro Tull, Madonna, Peter Gabriel, Bjork - but most of those it has to be admitted were because I was tagging along with someone else who wanted to see them. But ever since seeing that clip of Rosalita, I really, really wanted to see Bruce Springsteen live.
Well, last night I finally made it! T and I went to see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band live in Cardiff... and it was magical. Every bit as wonderful as I'd been hoping all those years. Bruce and the E Street Band may have an extra thirty years weighing on them, but it doesn't show. They're as tight and energetic as ever, and still played a magnificent 3 hour show without a break.
And guess what they played as the last song?* Yes, 'Rosalita'. For all I know Bruce and the band may finish every set with 'Rosalita', but I felt like he was playing it for me. I travelled home with a grin ear to ear, and I'm still smiling now, though this morning my shoulders ache from clapping and arm-waving, and my voice is hoarse from singing along.
Thanks Bruce - you're the Boss!
P.S. Here's a short clip of the original live version of Rosalita I saw all those years ago - for the full length version, go to: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zEema3T8wCI
* Actually, after I Googled 'Bruce Springsteen Cardiff' and found some other acounts of the evening, it turns out 'Rosalita' was not the last, but the penultimate song. I hadn't realised, because we had to leave at that point in order to catch the last train back to Carmarthen. I guess years ago I'd have been happy to miss the last train and kick my heels in the station overnight for just one more song - is our decision to leave when we did a sign of the wisdom or the feebleness bestowed by age? Either way, I'm still glad I got to hear 'Rosalita' when I did. It seems even more special, somehow. Bruce moves in mysterious ways!!!