Showing posts with label community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label community. Show all posts

Tuesday, 8 December 2020

Winter Blessings and Beauties, Day 38: Welcome the Spirit of the Green Into Your Home


The Christmas Tree as we currently know it seems to have originated as a custom in Germany before it spread more widely throughout the world. It was popularised in Britain in the 19th Century by Queen Victoria and her German husband, Prince Albert. Yet bringing Winter greenery into the home around the time of the Winter Solstice has been a custom among many, many different cultures through the centuries - for example, the Romans are known to have decorated their homes with evergreen wreaths during Saturnalia.

It's easy to imagine that in the depths of Winter, the plants and trees that remained miraculously green in the dying days of the year were seen as holding the life force that seemed so lacking in the rest of the natural world. No wonder people wanted to bring them in to decorate their homes during the festivities. I also like the idea that perhaps people wanted to invite the Gods and spirits of the green world indoors to partake in their Winter celebrations. If humanity was believed to be in relationship with a conscious, living world inhabited and animated by spirits, then it would be only natural to include these spirits in your family's and community's celebrations and rituals.

Winter Blessings and Beauties: Day 38

Welcome the Spirit of the Green Into Your Home

Bring in some winter greenery to decorate your home - be it in the form of a real Christmas Tree, a wreath of foliage, sprigs of holly and mistletoe or a vase of  assorted evergreen leaves. Know that the greenery you have brought in contains the Spirit of the Greenworld, and symbolises the vital, resilient life-force that perseveres through every obstacle and hindrance. Treat the Spirit of the Green as an honoured guest in your home and celebrate that bold, beautiful, determination and tenacity. Let it inspire you in times of hardship and darkness. 

Wednesday, 1 April 2020

Living in Interesting Times


It has probably never been easier to understand why the saying 'May you live in interesting times' is considered a curse and not a blessing. The novel Coronavirus pandemic finds us - all of us - navigating completely uncharted waters. No wonder there is so much confusion and so many conflicting opinions and attitudes.

Life has taken on a surreal quality for many people, myself included. As one of the self-employed, my work has completely dried up. With the country going into lock-down I find myself at home in a serene little bubble. The coinciding spell of warm, dry sunny spring days has been wonderful, and I am loving the opportunity to get my hands into the soil and coax the neglected garden back into shape. I often complain that my usual work schedule gives me either enough money to pay my way or enough time to do the things I want, but not both. Suddenly I have ample time - and I'm trying not to fret about the money. I am lucky enough to have put some savings aside for a rainy day (and if the current situation doesn't count as a rainy day I don't know what does!). 

So the days pass in quiet and calm. I tend the animals, work in the garden, make soup, watch the sun set, listen to the blackbird singing in the cherry tree. And at intervals through the day sudden spikes of anxiety leave me breathless and afraid as news from the outside world bursts in - sickness, death, shortages, panic and uncertainty about this strange new world we now inhabit. I am terrified for my loved ones, furious with the hopelessly inadequate response of the Government, fearful of the long-term consequences of this turmoil.

How to stay afloat then, within this strange sea of serenity and anxiety?

For all of us, this is a work in progress. This is a completely unprecedented situation, which means a steep learning curve.

Here then is some of the useful advice I'm following, having pieced it together from various sources.  


  1. Keep to a routine of sorts - it's up to you what that is, but try to keep a regular sleep pattern and schedule in a balance of work (if you are working from home)/chores/relaxation/fun/contact with people (via phone, social media or whatever if you live alone). I've been setting the alarm to make sure I get up at a reasonable time (admittedly slightly later than when I'm working!) showering, dressing, eating breakfast, tending the animals, doing the chores, gardening, cooking proper meals, checking in with family and friends.
  2. Be kind to yourself. Now may seem like the perfect time to finally teach yourself to play the trombone or write your magnum opus - but don't beat yourself up if what you actually need to do is lie on the couch binge-watching your favourite show... 
  3. ...But at the same time find some balance between self-comfort and self-discipline!
  4. Keep informed, but use trustworthy mainstream news sources and limit your use of social media to avoid making yourself overly fearful. This is a useful fact-checking site specifically addressing some of the myths and rumours that are circulating about Covid-19: https://infotagion.com/?fbclid=IwAR2n4TjeCP1B0xGSUFokZCe9rOw6QKebxqwTZ2TuWluGdYHIAZjTJq-7y8s
  5. I found this article on grief and anticipatory grief very helpful: https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR2206owif6oEUiX3iGgRiWx4QR-d4kz_mcDinGRdys8zu_cvWB58aQq7v0
  6. This is a useful practice to help you cope with difficult feelings around the epidemic: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/chargedbythegoddess/2020/03/step-into-the-circle-and-be-held-restoring-connection-and-community/?fbclid=IwAR0IR6WsW0jyjLcredf-DOfbnTrWBz0zDUJxjBRUmbZqUjGPesyjcX9wyLc
  7. Find inventive ways to help you to feel connected to others. For example our local Moot was unable to meet as planned due to the restrictions, but we came up with a simple Coronavirus candle healing spell that we could all do at the same time, although we were unable to physically be together. Later we checked in on social media to share our experiences with each other.
What have you found to be helpful during these difficult times?

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Dragonrise Witchcamp 2015




Walking to the Stone Circle in the meadow at Dragonrise in 2013 
 
I am very happy to announce that I will be teaching at Dragonrise Witchcamp again this summer. This will be my second time at Dragonrise (you can read about my first year here).
 
 
 
Dragonrise is a long-weekend family-friendly camp full of magic!

The next camp will take place between 30 July to 2 August 2015 at Wildways on the Borle in Shropshire.

Dragonrise is open to all ages and experience levels and has already built up a reputation for being accessible for newcomers, challenging for more experienced folks and welcoming to all.

Together we will learn magic, weave stories and grow. In 2009 we began a new adventure, a family friendly Witchcamp in Britain, originally called Sunrise. We would love for you to join us this year as we spread our wings again. Our goal is to be eco-friendly and as affordable as possible, while facilitating a magical experience for all who join us.

A Reclai
ming Witchcamp is an intensive period of time working together with like-minded individuals within the context of a story. You choose which path you would like to take throughout our time together and each morning join teachers who will guide your learning. Each evening we come together in ritual based on the story of the week.

Throughout the camp you will learn new skills, meet new people, forge new friendships and grow in yourself.

Our first camp was in August 2009, in our previous incarnation as Sunrise Camp.

Our second camp was in August 2011, under our new and permanent name of Dragon Rise. We worked with the wonderful story, Dragonhearted, by Suus. Witches and witchlets arrived in the hills of Snowdonia from all over Europe, finding our dragon wings and opening our dragon hearts.

Our third camp was Catching the Tale in August 2013 at Wildways where we worked with Lugh and Brigid and the power of stories, rewriting our own in the process!

Witchcamp will change your life, just like magic!

This year we will be working with a beautiful myth from Shropshire and it is looking like it will be a wonderful camp! If you would like to join us, booking details can be found on the Dragonrise website here: http://dragonrise.spruz.com/downloads.htm. Click to download details and a booking form.

 
 

The Skylodge at Wildways, Dragonrise 2013
 
 
 

Sunday, 27 October 2013

The 'C' Word, Part 3: Building Bridges



I went to my first Reclaiming WitchCamp (Avalon, held near Glastonbury) in 1998, and loved it so much I went back the following year. The year after that I joined the organising group. It became an important annual event in my calendar: every summer, a week at Avalon WitchCamp, and the people I met at the camp became my spiritual community. In 2006, I nervously became a student teacher at Avalon, and in 2007 I was asked to teach again. Except it didn't happen. For a variety of reasons, Avalon WitchCamp 2007 was cancelled (I'm reasonably sure my shortcomings as a teacher weren't a major contributing factor!). The repercussions of the cancellation  were many and various, including the organising of a Summer Gathering, and also the birth of a new, second British WitchCamp, Dragonrise.

It was a turbulent time for the British Reclaiming Community. I've a written a little about it here, but for the most part - not wanting to stir up additional controversy or add fuel to any smouldering fires - I've skirted around the more difficult areas. But suffice it to say, difficulties at the 2006 camp caused divisions that derailed the 2007 camp. Dragonrise Camp arose in part as an alternative to Avalon Camp for those who were dissatisfied with Avalon or wanted to try a different model. And although both camps behaved well - even helpfully - towards each other (agreeing to hold camps in alternate years so as not to be in direct competition, for example), there remained a certain amount of distance between them. Some people in the community fell very definitely into the 'Avalon' side and others into team 'Dragonrise'. Still others - myself included - maintained links with both communities.

In 2009 I was asked to be a resource teacher at Dragonrise but couldn't accept due to other commitments, and in 2011 I was too late booking a ticket and missed out. In 2012, Avalon (by now re-named Avalon Spring) had to be cancelled due to low bookings, so by this year I was determined to attend Dragonrise for the first time! I booked my ticket early, and was looking forward to attending a WitchCamp as an ordinary camper with no responsibilities except to myself for the first time in a while. And then a couple of months before camp was due I got a phone call...

Changes within the teaching team had created a vacancy. Would I like to fill that vacancy? Of course, I said yes.

******

How does this fit with our theme of Closure? Well, as mentioned above, there was still some healing to be done between the two camps. And I felt I needed some healing on a personal level since the fall-out from the cancellation of Avalon 2007. I'd found the split in the community very distressing, and papering over the cracks and pulling together warring factions to create the Summer Gathering was far more stressful than I could possibly have imagined. And now once again, only a week after the emotional upheavals of the wedding in Essex, I found myself faced with the prospect of re-visiting old 'issues' and the opportunity to finally resolve them.

From the outset, joining the Dragonrise teaching team was reassuring. There's a huge amount of work involved in teaching a WitchCamp, and joining the planning process at such a late stage was to say the least nerve-wracking! However, my fellow teachers (Chelidon, Suus and Fortuna) were very welcoming to this late-comer. From the outset we worked extremely well together and things proceeded very smoothly. By strange co-incidence, Chelidon had been my co-teacher for my first WitchCamp teaching experience at Avalon in 2006. We gathered together for in-person pre-camp planning a few days before camp started at the lovely home of one of the Dragonrise organisers, Raven, who had also been on the teaching team at Avalon 2006.  Before camp even started I felt loose ends left hanging for years were being tied up, old wounds finally being soothed and healed.

The camp itself was a delight. Lovely venue, amazing food (a thousand 'thank you's to the fabulous cooks, Amanda and Raven), wonderful people (some of whom I hadn't seen since the 2007 Summer Gathering or earlier), favourable weather, and the Paths (teaching groups) and evening rituals went really well.

By the time we found ourselves gathered for the closing ritual I was feeling very happy that we had had such a wonderful camp, satisfied with the renewal and strengthening of old connections, and very sad to be saying goodbye to such a lovely group of old and new friends. For me, Dragonrise 2013 was magical: a totally reaffirming and healing experience for which I am very grateful. I certainly intend to book my place at Dragonrise 2015 as soon as I can.

See you there?

******

Anyone would think this was enough closure for one summer, wouldn't they? After the Birthday, the Wedding and the WitchCamp, I myself thought that was it. More than enough to process and work through. But there was more in store. Something I had been trying for some time to push away and not deal with was coming to the fore, demanding my attention whether I wanted to deal with it or not. At Dragonrise I had the chance to build bridges. But on my return there was another bridge waiting, and this one needed burning...

(To be continued!)






  

    

Friday, 15 February 2013

Millions Marching, One Billion Rising!

 
Video: One Billion Rising! Flashmob in Carmarthen 14/02/2013

"Another common, unspoken assumption is that spirituality is about calm and peace, and conflict is unspiritual. Which of course makes it hard to integrate the spiritual with the political, which is all about conflict.
In New Age circles, a common slogan is that "What you resist, persists." Truly spiritual people are never supposed to be confrontational or adversarial — that would be perpetuating an unevolved, "us-them" dualism.
I don't know from what spiritual tradition the "what you resist, persists" slogan originated, but I often want to ask those who blithely repeat it, "What's your evidence?" When it is so patently obvious that what you don't resist persists like hell and spreads all over the place. In fact, good, strong, solid resistance may be the only thing that stands between us and hell. Hitler didn't persist because of the Resistance — he succeeded in taking over Germany and murdering millions because not enough people resisted."

- Starhawk

Ten years ago today, along with millions of other people I was marching against the Iraq war. According to Wikipedia, "Sources vary in their estimations of the number of participants involved. According to BBC News, between six and ten million people took part in protests in up to sixty countries over the weekend of the 15th and 16th; other estimates range from eight million to thirty million." I marched in London alongside friends from the British Reclaiming community. Along the way we sang, and danced, and chalked hearts on the pavements. Although the day was grey and cold and the wind blowing off the river Thames was icy, the energy of the march was amazing. It is incredible to be among so many other human beings, all with one shared intention, one passionately held belief.

Many people who have never attended a demonstration seem horrified by the very idea. I am certain this is due to the impression given by the media that such events are inevitably filled with extremists, thugs and stone-throwing anarchists; hotbeds of violence and wanton destruction. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. The demonstrations I have been on, from my first way back in the '90s (against the Criminal Justice Bill 1994, which amongst other things criminalised what were previously civil offences in an attempt to stifle road protesters and hunt saboteurs), have been without exception good-humoured, fun and friendly. I'm not saying there was no trouble or arrests at any of them, but I personally have never seen any negative behaviour at all. At any large gathering of people it is inevitable that a small minority will act up, or even go along with the express intention of causing trouble. Yet it is this small minority that gets all the press coverage and attention and gives a totally misleading impression of the event and most people's experience of it.

Yesterday, across the world, millions of women (and men) joined the 'One Billion Rising' initiative in joyful flashmobs, dancing to protest violence against women, and stating that we will not stand for this! (the word "billion" refers to the statistic that 1 in 3 women will be raped or beaten in their lifetime - about one billion). From Africa to Asia to the Americas to Europe to Australasia, women gathered and danced, in some places risking their very lives to do so. Even in my local town of Carmarthen, women - including some of my friends - gathered and danced. Unfortunately I couldn't join them, which I'm really sad about! It looks like it was an amazing event, and it makes me feel so proud and so moved.

We have more power than we allow ourselves to believe. We are creating the future with every choice we make, every moment of every day. And when we join with others, when we tap into what Starhawk calls 'Power-With'* (as opposed to the more usual model of 'Power-Over') we tap into something truly world-changing.

Political demonstrations rarely change the world overnight. They don't always achieve their aim - an estimated 10 million marched against the Iraq war and still Bush and Blair went to war. And yet, these events have power. In the immediacy of the march, or the occupation, or the dance against violence, we feel our connection to each other. We know that we are not alone in feeling passionate about this issue. That gives us strength and courage. We meet like-minded souls, we make connections and forge bonds. We let those in power know that this is an issue that really matters, that come the next election, their jobs are on the line. Someone told me that for every letter protesting an issue, the powers that be know that 10 more people feel the same way, but haven't bothered to put pen to paper. How many more then, for every person who makes the effort to travel to a demo or a sit-in? In some instances, a demonstration can become a revolution. This is why protest is stifled, this is why they publish the photos of bricks being thrown at windows. They don't want you there. If demonstrating didn't make a difference, why would they care if you marched or danced or chained yourself to a railing? Standing up and being counted, changing minds does change the world. Gandhi knew it. Martin Luther King knew it. Rachel Corrie knew it, Julia 'Butterfly' Hill knew it, the Pankhursts knew it. Code Pink know it, the Occupy! movement know it, UK Uncut know it, Reclaim the Streets know it, One Billion Rising! know it.

You can make a difference. We all can. Claim your power-with!

P.S. See also this.

* Starhawk's Definitions of 'Power-Over' and 'Power-With'
Power-Over sees the world as an object, made up of many separate, isolated parts that have no intrinsic life, awareness or value. Human beings have no inherent worth; value must be earned or granted. Power-Over motivates by fear, violence or threat of violence.
Power-With sees the world as a pattern of relationships, but its interest is in how that pattern can be shaped, moulded, shifted. It values beings, forces, and people according to how they affect others and according to a history based on experience. 

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Harvests - The Good, The Bad and The Wonderful




We are almost at the Autumn Equinox, that magical point at which day and night stand equally balanced before tipping into the dark half of the year. That is one reason Pagans mark this time of year with ritual. Another reason is that we are slap bang in the middle of the harvest season, which begins at Lammas or Lughnasadh and goes on until Samhain. Lammas is celebrated in high summer, at the beginning of August when the grain harvest usually begins. Samhain comes at the end of October, when farming communities traditionally brought their livestock down from the hills into more sheltered pastures and culled old or weak members of the herd. The culled animals would provide meat for a celebratory feast and this would also be salted down or cured to provide food through the coming winter months.

Autumn Equinox, or Mabon as some like to call it, is a time for harvesting the abundant fruit and nuts available as summer gives way to autumn. Apples, pears, late plums and damsons, squashes and pumpkins, blackberries, autumn-fruiting raspberries, quinces, hazelnuts, elderberries, haws, and sloes... The summer crops of potatoes and onions should be dug by now and safely stored somewhere cool, dark and dry. Then there are mushrooms to be foraged and the last of summer's bounty to be stored away in jams, jellies, pickles, cordials, wines, syrups and chutneys. And of course, seeds of flowers, vegetables and fruit can be saved for sowing next spring.

Unfortunately the fruit and vegetable harvest at Halfway Up a Hill is rather meager this year. The vegetable patch has been somewhat neglected as I no longer have as much time to devote to it, and much of the fruit harvest is disappointing due to the terrible weather we've had this summer negatively affecting pollination rates. There are no damsons at all and my usually reliable cooking apple has only three fruits, comparing miserably with the fine harvest we had last year. Even the elderberry crop is sparse. Defying all expectations though, the tomatoes have done pretty well and continue to produce, and there is an extremely heavy crop of haws in the hedgerows.

Our modern estrangement from the natural world to an extent insulates us from the extremes of food shortage that we could expect from such a cold, wet summer. Food  prices may increase, but there will still be plenty to choose from at the local supermarket, greengrocer or market stall. We are so lucky in the Western world, and we so often take that for granted.

But we are also lucky to have the wonderful human spirit of altruism, generosity and the instinct to share in times of plenty - in times of scarcity, too. Just this week I have been gifted with some homegrown runner beans, a big fragrant bunch of sweetpeas, a pretty oriental fan and a jar of redcurrant and blackberry jelly by different people. In the last year I have been given rhubarb, plants, vouchers, magazines, a vintage radio for restoration, cucumbers, fabric, kitchenware, a computer that needs fixing, yarn, a large amount of firewood and items of clothing by friends, family and neighbours; they have also gifted me freely with advice, expertise and various skills that I lack when I've needed help. I myself have passed on books, surplus eggs, incense, my old car, toiletries, magazines, perfume and homemade jam. I have borrowed a wall-paper steamer/stripper, a router, a tile-cutter, a mitre saw, and have lent out a bagful of DVDs, my carpet-shampooer, a dehumidifier, my pressure-washer and books. And I have done lots of liftsharing!

Since T left, money is a constant issue. I receive alimony, but it decreases each year and will end altogether in a couple of year's time. I am now working, but I don't seem to earn enough to manage without the alimony. And as we find ourselves in the middle of a recession with no end in sight - no matter what the politicians say - the cost of living increases almost daily. Money - or lack of it - is now a permanent worry at the back of my mind.

But in this time of balance between summer and winter, light and dark, abundance and scarcity, I breathe and choose to remember that it is true that the best things in life are free. I choose to remember that I am part of a community of friends, family and neighbours who look out for each other, share what they have and help when they can, just because that's what we humans do for each other. I choose to remember that co-operation is more important than competition. I choose to remember that abundance and money are not the same thing. And most of all I choose to give thanks for the harvest of my many blessings, which are priceless.


Sunday, 15 May 2011

Bread and Jam


I have been extremely busy of late, as my lack of posts will testify. In the absence of a proper full-time job I have been taking on work as a domestic cleaner/gardener/odd job woman, and the last couple of weeks have been hectic as on top of my 'regulars' I have picked up a lot of one-off jobs as people want their homes spring cleaned or their gardens spruced up for the summer. I also continue to make and sell crafts, and last week every spare moment that I wasn't scrubbing bathrooms or trimming hedges I was frantically finishing off craft projects ready for the local Spring Fayre at which I had taken a stall, hoping to make a bit of extra cash.

By Saturday morning I was tired but well prepared, with everything neatly wrapped in newspaper and packed into boxes. As well as lots of hand-decorated candle jars, I had some pretty painted birdboxes, lacy-knit mohair shawls and I had planted up violas and busy lizzies into some old vintage tea cups that had lost their saucers and were about to be chucked by one of my house-cleaning clients until I rescued them. I was pretty pleased with my efforts and had high hopes things would sell well.

IB had kindly offered to come along and help me and we arrived in good time and set up the stall, which I was pleased to see faced the entrance so that my goodies would be the first thing people saw on entering. A very kind gentleman went back to his nearby home to get a few coathangers for me so that I could display my shawls to their best advantage.

Once the stall was prepared, I took a walk around to check out the other stalls, and chatted with my friend Jen and another friend I hadn't seen for a while. I bought a pretty hand-made birthday card for an upcoming birthday, a beautiful hardy geranium at a bargain price, and some tombola tickets (which unfortunately didn't win anything!). Then just before the doors opened to the public I grabbed us two cups of coffee from the friendly lady who was selling refreshments.

The first person to walk in was one of my neighbours, and we had a lovely chat catching up on the neighbourhood gossip. She was catching the bus home, so when she bought a large scented geranium plant I offered to mind it for her and drop it off when IB & I drove past her house on the way home later. My Mum and Dad also dropped by with a friend and were very pleased with some bargain tomato plants they snapped up - and I was pleased when their friend was my first customer, buying one of my candle jars as a gift for her daughter.

So far people were admiring my goodies but I had only made the one sale. Even so, I had been eyeing up the home made cakes and preserves on the next stall, so soon spent some of my earnings on a jar of marmalade and a yummy-looking lemon drizzle cake. The rest went on some vegetable plants from another neighbouring stall!

People were still coming in thick and fast and I was enjoying chatting with friends from the village that I hadn't seen for a while. One stall was selling locally made cheeses at bargain prices and the tasting samples were proving very popular! Once IB and I had tasted too, we realised why and of course had to buy some of the cheese. I also bagged a bargain photo frame which I spied across the hall on the bring and buy stall.

After the initial rush of people, it quietened down, although people were still coming and going. We had another cup of coffee and a cupcake, and chatted with the other stall holders. Once things had really quietened down, the lady running the tombola was keen to finish up, and went around the hall giving tickets away to anyone who wanted one, just to clear the remaining prizes. We won a bottle of bitter lemon and a very nice gift set of M&S toiletries - but not the bottle of whisky that IB had his eye on, which was eventually won by the vicar's 6 year old daughter (her Daddy took immediate custody of it)!

In the end, I sold only one other candle jar, which meant with all my purchases overall I was well out of pocket (despite not having to pay for the stall).

My hopes to sell plenty of things and make some money had been dashed. But then again, was it so bad? I spent an enjoyable day with IB, chatting with friends and meeting some lovely new people. I came away with some real bargains and treats - plants, gourmet cheese, marmalade and cake - and once again felt myself connected to my local community. So - not what I had expected, but perhaps what I needed.

Sometimes, we are so focussed on the daily bread and butter of making a living, we miss the jam - the quality time we spend with friends and family. We overlook the small pleasures of life like a beautiful flowering geranium or some tangy home-made marmalade. And we take for granted the immeasurable wealth of being part of a community.

Though I worry from day to day about my lack of income, today I am reminding myself that bread isn't everything. Without a little jam, it's pretty boring really.

Thursday, 3 February 2011

I Love My Blog!


Today is the anniversary of my very first blog post on 'Moonroot', back in February 2007. I had set up the blog and then found I hadn't a clue what to write about. So in time-honoured fashion, I chatted about the weather! I began just writing about my daily life, and gradually found my voice. It was so heartening to find that people were leaving comments and enjoying the blog.

I myself was greatly enjoying it. I had always kept journals, albeit somewhat patchily. Sometimes I would even buy a beautiful new journal but not write in it, anxious about despoiling the clean new pages, waiting to start 'until I had something worthwhile to say'. Since starting my blog, I still keep hand-written journals, but something about the process of blogging has freed up my journalling. I no longer worry about having to write an entry every day, I write when I want to. And somehow I want to write more. I don't worry about the state of my handwriting, or the crossings out or smudges, or even the tear stains that occasionally mark the pages. This is journalling as it should be, life on paper.

Blogging has also encouraged me in other directions. Buoyed up by the kind comments others have left here I have taken a couple of writing courses, which have been both fun and educational. I have also become enthused by digital photography - having started taking photos merely to illustrate the blog and make it more interesting I now carry a camera with me everywhere, snapping away whenever I find inspiration, and learning by trial and error what works and what doesn't!

I have also 'met' lots of lovely people via the blog and found great joy in reading their blogs in turn. There is such a flowering of creative talent in the blogosphere! And these same people have been so kind and supportive to me in times of difficulty - most notably, of course, during my recent divorce. Thank you all so much. You have no idea how much you helped me in those dark days.

Sometimes people ask me why I blog and it is hard to come up with a short answer. But for all the reasons listed above, I love my blog. And I suppose above all, that is why I keep blogging!

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Gooseberry Jam for Eva


I first met Eva not long after moving to Wales. Within moments of meeting, she had signed me up as a volunteer at the Day Club for the elderly she ran in the village. She would have made a great army recruitment officer.

Small in stature (under 5 feet) yet huge in personality, Eva was a force to be reckoned with. Always immaculately turned out and with flawless coiffure and makeup, a lifetime of chainsmoking had left her with a deep, gravelly voice with which she belied her ladylike exterior by peppering her conversation with choice profanities. Blunt to the point of rudeness, never failing to call a spade a bloody spade, she prided herself on her fierce honesty and refusal to take any nonsense from anyone. Strong men quailed when confronted with her glare.

Yet she was also incredibly kind hearted, generous to a fault, hardworking and completely dedicated to both the Day Club and those she loved.

I was lucky that she took a shine to me straight away, and forgave any of my slip ups (such as the time I left a kettle boiling in the kitchen and got distracted, only to return twenty minutes later to find the room filled with dense steam) with a mild, "Well don't do it again!" rather than the strict dressing-down reserved for those who had truly offended her sensibilities.

About five years ago, Eva suffered a serious heart attack. The Day Club went into a kind of numb shock. Eva was the heart, soul and backbone of the club. No one had truly understood the extent of her dedication and sheer hard work until suddenly she wasn't around. After a few months of limping along without her, she returned, yet the heart attack had taken its toll on her health. She continued organising there for another year or so, yet it was clearly too much for her. Eventually, she skilfully manouevred me into replacing her as organiser of the Club, and (by now in her seventies) became one of the members instead of the chief worker.

However, it was hard for Eva to sit on the sidelines and watch, where once she led. For a while she didn't come to the club, preferring to stay at home alone. Any solicitous enquiries about her welfare or whether she was lonely were met with sharp rebuttals. "I have plenty of friends!" She would snap. "You don't have to patronise me!"

Happily, she eventually began to attend again, although I believe she never stopped seeing it as 'her' club. She certainly never hesitated to tell me what I was doing wrong or how I could do it better! But at the same time, our relationship deepened into mutual respect, and more than that, true friendship. Eva couldn't drive, so I'd take her shopping sometimes and together we'd happily trawl Carmarthenshire's plant nurseries, second hand shops and markets, or go to the local village fetes together. She would also advise me on how to live my life, sometimes quite hilariously. One of her choicest bits of wisdom, which made me laugh out loud, came earlier this year. She knew that T and I had split up, and when I said I was going on holiday to Spain with a (female) friend, Eva advised me "That's the spirit! Find a nice bloke, and enjoy yourself for a couple of hours." Awww, I thought. She wants me to find a holiday romance! But then she added, "Then tell him to p*** off!" which had me in stitches.

It turned out that I loved making jam and Eva loved eating it, so she'd save all her old jam jars for me and I'd send them back re-filled every time I made a new batch. One day when I went round, she'd found an old jelly bag and the stand for it which she no longer used, and gave them to me. Needless to say, her kindness was well-repaid in all flavours of jelly! I think of her every time I use it.

Eva particularly loved gooseberry jam, so I always kept her well-stocked. She declared the batch I made last summer the best she'd ever tasted, and having just completed this year's batch, I would love her opinion on how it compares.


Sadly I can't get Eva's opinion. Sadly my dear, irreplaceable friend died, quite suddenly, in April. Sadly, I didn't realise just how much she meant to me until she was gone.
Eva was a true character, a one-off. Fierce, kind, uncompromising, funny. I will think of her and smile every time I make jam. Especially the gooseberry.

Friday, 29 May 2009

On the Magic of Time and Hope...

Photo: Clifford, the Earthspirit Dragon (part mural, part 3-D sculpture), who watches over the main meeting room.

One of the pieces of advertising we put out for this year's Avalon Spring read: "In the leafy freshness of early summer, step out of time between the mists of Avalon at our magical intensive, Avalon Spring. We will meet together within the sacred enclosure of Avalon, to create sacred space and experience ritual, trance work, visualisation, ecstasy, sacred drama, ecomagic, dancing, chanting, storytelling, community building and have lots of fun!". As it turns out, that is exactly what we did, although in the weeks leading up to camp we had worried that things might turn out very differently...

Photo: A close-up of Clifford - isn't he gorgeous?

Bookings were very slow coming in this year, and we mused on the underlying reason. Was it the economic downturn and a lack of funds that was preventing people from coming? Or had the Witchcamp model run its course in the UK? Was it just a quiet year, or was it in fact the end of an era? Avalon Spring is a labour of love for those of us who organise and teach it, and we didn't want to think that this could be the camp's last year.

To make it more affordable - in case the economic climate was to blame - we made the decision to shorten the length of camp from 5 days to a long weekend (23rd-25th May) and reduced the prices accordingly. After the change was announced, only two of those who had already booked decided not to come after all, and suddenly bookings were coming in thick and fast. Phew - so it was only a shortage of funds keeping people away!



Somehow we condensed things down into the new time slot. To our great amazement, time seemed to stretch to accommodate us, and much, much more than I would have thought possible somehow fitted neatly into our schedule. Nothing felt rushed or pressured, yet everything we had wanted to include was included. Bríghde Éire (Anne-Marie) and myself taught 'The Path of Devotion', examining a variety of devotional practices and the question, 'How many ways can we pray?'. Georgia Midnight Crow and Dawn Isidora taught 'The Sacred Sexual Soul', dealing with issues of sex, love, spirit, personal boundaries and finding our own authentic selves.

People enjoyed the work we did, they enjoyed the evening rituals around the fire, the venue, the food. The sun shone and the rain held off! The feedback we were given from everyone was without exception positive. Yes, they loved it. Yes, they want it to happen again. Yes, they would like it to be longer next time, and yes, they will be coming back.


Photo: L-R Georgia Midnight Crow, Dawn Isidora, Sylvia Rose. Also gorgeous.

After the campers had left, we remaining organisers planted two trees, an ash and a crab apple. We had brought them as a gift for Earthspirit, our venue for all but one of the Witchcamps we have held each year since 1998. Our initial expectation was that the trees would be something of a parting gift, in thanks for and acknowledgement of the good times we have spent there over the years. Many of us feel a deep connection with the Earthspirit land and the many beings who make their home there, and in thinking this may be our last year it seemed an appropriate gesture. And yet Avalon Spring 2009 has shown clearly that things are not over after all. Times are tough all round, but with imagination and flexibility we have been able to find revitalisation.

In the end, the tree planting was done in an atmosphere of quiet joy and hope, as we softly sang chants that sounded like lullabies to the young trees. This won't be our last year. We will return, and be able to watch our two small saplings as they grow into beautiful trees. May they and Earthspirit and the Witchcamp community flourish! Blessed Be.

P.S. Leaf's well-written and interesting account of his experience at Avalon Spring this year may be found here.

Thursday, 14 May 2009

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

British Reclaiming Beltane Ritual, Portsmouth 2007
My friend Paul posted on his blog recently about his frustrations with less than perfect rituals, and it has got me thinking. I know where he is coming from. Anyone with a few rituals under their belt will have experienced how widely the quality of ritual can vary, from good to bad through to downright ugly. Paul's post has got me really thinking about what makes a good ritual, what makes a for a satisfying ritual experience? And what makes a ritual disappointing or ineffective, boring or pointless?
Some of it of course is due to the quality of 'performance' (for want of a better word) of the participants. Obviously some people are better suited to this than others - the person with self-confidence, a strong, clear voice, a good sense of timing, a flair for the dramatic, for example will be great at circle casting, invoking, ritual drama, etc. Other important skills are the ability to sense and move the energy of the ritual and its participants, an awareness of the other participants and their needs, and an ability to think on ones' feet and ad-lib if necessary. Then of course there are the skills for specific tasks: leading a trance, drumming, fire tending, story telling, energy raising to name but a few.
Not everyone will have all these skills. Infact most people will not have many (if any) of them when they start out doing ritual. And herein lies part of our problem: to learn these skills you have to practice them. And that means your first few attempts at practising them in ritual will probably be pretty shaky. But the good news is that pretty much all of these skills can be learned - and as with most things in life, practice makes perfect.
In the meantime the ritual as a whole will not be perfect, because the person practising and learning new skills is not yet perfect. But I can live with that. It may take time, but I am happy to take that time and trust that progress is being made. Paul quoted Isaac Bonewits as saying "Sincerity is not a substitute for competence", but as I replied, "Sincerity is NOT a substitute for competence, that's true. But how do you get to be competent without practice?".
I also said "...I'm comfortable with the odd fluffed line/inaudible invocation/need for prompting. I'd rather have that and a down-to-earth, inclusive ritual where everyone feels a part of what's going on than a high-falutin' word-perfect affair where the HP & HPS 'perform' the whole thing flawlessly and the rest of the group serves as a mute audience to proceedings. But that's just my personal preference."
In this respect my background in Reclaiming Witchcraft is probably a big factor. Starhawk uses the acronym EIEIO to describe Reclaiming style ritual thus:
"Ecstatic: in that we aim to create a high intensity of energy that is passionate and pleasurable. Improvisational: We value spontaneity within the overall structure of our rituals, encourage people to create liturgy in the moment rather than script it beforehand, to respond to the energy around us rather than predetermine how it should move. Ensemble: In our larger group rituals, we work with many priest/esses together taking different roles and performing different functions that, ideally, support each other like the members of a good jazz ensemble. We encourage a fluid sharing of those roles over time, to prevent the development of hierarchy and to allow each person to experience many facets of ritual. Inspired: Because we each have access to the sacred, we are each capable of creating elements of ritual. Although we honor the myths, the poems, the songs and the stories that have come down to us from the past, we are not bound by the past, for divine inspiration is constantly present in each of us. Organic: We strive for a smooth, coherent flow of energy in a ritual that has a life of its own to be honored. Our rituals are linked to the rhythms of cyclical time and organic life."
Personally, I really value all of the above ingredients in a Reclaiming ritual, though obviously they can have a downside too. Sometimes the inspiration just isn't flowing, or the improvisation stumbles or feels forced, or the ensemble aspect means people with less experience or a bad headache that day fluff their lines or forget the chant or invoke the elements in the wrong order. But for me what is important is that perfect or not, everyone is truly involved, truly in the moment and truly part of the whole.
Not that I don't appreciate a perfectly-executed, truly smooth-running, meaningful and transformative ritual. In an ideal world, that's what I'd like all rituals to be, and what I strive for each time I'm part of a ritual. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't, and I'm grateful to Paul for making me think deeply about why some rituals really work well, and why some really, really don't.
As part of that process I've been looking back at the rituals that have made a big impression on me. What did the really good ones have in common? What about the bad ones? And what about the ugly ones?
The really good ones seem to have had the following in common: good planning; a clear intention; a clear understanding by the participants of the intention; genuinely transformative power; honesty; beauty; smooth and powerful energy raising; good priestessing*.
The bad ones? Unclear intention; confused participants; long, boring, or overly repetitious content; messy energy work; lack of focus; poor planning; slapdash priestessing etc. I also find I dislike pointless rituals - those held merely for the sake of doing a ritual, and those where people just want to get off on the energy, instead of raising energy for a specific purpose (getting a high off it is not a specific purpose in my book!).
The ugly - ugh. Priestesses acting out of ego instead of in service to their community - there are plenty of divas out there. Ritual being used as a space to settle personal scores/pick fights/point score/wield power-over. Priestesses being completely oblivious to the energy or needs of the ritual participants. Ritual performed whilst seriously intoxicated**.
Luckily, in my experience the ugly are pretty few and far between, and the good pretty much outweigh the bad or the mediocre (or perhaps I'm blocking those memories!).
In future I intend to keep the lists above in mind to try and ensure that the rituals I am involved with hit the mark and hopefully avoid the pitfalls. But I will also bear in mind that nothing and no one is perfect. I was pretty hopeless at ritual when I started. Now I have a fair degree of competence, and I believe I am improving all the time. I look at people more experienced than myself and aim for their level of skill. And hopefully when I attain it, I will aim to polish and perfect it still further. There is no finish line to cross, we are all works in progress. And in the meantime, as those works progress, the rituals will continue to get better and better.
So Mote It Be!
Water Altar, Carmarthenshire Pagan Community Network Summer Solstice Ritual 2007
* In Reclaiming we tend to use the word 'priestess' for both - well, actually all - sexes. We're just like that. ;-)
** I'm not against the use of psychoactive substances for ritual purposes per se. Whilst all public Reclaiming rituals are drug and alcohol-free (to make them safe for those in recovery from substance addiction), I have nothing against the use of plant allies/psychoactive substances or whatever you want to call them in non-pubic ritual if they are treated as a genuine sacrament. What I really dislike is people getting recreationally f***ed up on drink or drugs just for the hell of it and then attempting to do ritual. It's disrespectful and pointless.

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Happy New Year!


Last night, while the majority of people would have been partying away the last of the old year, I was sweeping the kitchen.

Remembering all the lore about sweeping away the old and making space for the new, I was suddenly seized with the desire to clean, clean, clean away the dregs of 2008 ready for a bright new start in 2009. So I swept and cleaned the kitchen and living areas, emptied all the rubbish, polished everything until it gleamed and paid special attention to cleaning the hearth (heart of the home).

I've never been a great one for New Year's Eve partying anyway. My Mum's family always celebrated it, probably because of their Scottish ancestry. New Year was a big deal, where the whole family had to stay up and welcome in the New Year or risk bad luck for the next twelve months. Just before midnight my Dad would be pushed out into the cold night, from where, as the tallest dark haired man in the party and armed with a lump of coal and a glass of whisky he would perform the duty of 'first footing'.

Since I left home I haven't really made a conscious effort to celebrate New Year, yet looking back, I don't think there have been many years that I haven't been awake to see it in, even if it has often been just T and I at home raising a glass to each other. Last night I had intended to go to bed early, but somehow it was 11.30pm before I knew it and it seemed daft to go to bed so close to midnight. So the cats and I welcomed in 2009 in company with Jools Holland.

This New Year morning it is cold and frosty again, white as a clean page. To keep up the sympathetic magic initiated with my cleaning session last night, I have decided to try to have a day in which I only put energy into the things I want to cultivate this year. I had a good start when some neighbourhood children came round to sing a New Year song (making community connections), later I will have a nice long soak in a Lush-scented bath (time for myself, pleasure) and then speak to my family on the phone and see my good friends Pinky & Harry (family & friendships). I will cook a spicy veggie chili for dinner (taking care of my body). And I suppose I ought to also find time to spend on making some more items for the Etsy shop (creativity, making money)!

I hope you all celebrated an enjoyable New Year, and I wish everyone a very Happy, Harmonious, Healthy and Prosperous 2009!

Blessed Be.


Sunday, 19 October 2008

Something To Look Forward To...


Avalon Spring 23 - 28 May 2009
A 6 day residential intensive in witchcraft and earth based spirituality in the Reclaiming Tradition.

Listen to the words of the Great Mother... and so it begins; our journey into this beautiful and profound piece of liturgy originally written by Doreen Valiente that embodies most witches’ concept of the many faces of the Goddess. Her many names come to us through time.

At Avalon Spring we will celebrate the divine spirit of ourselves with the Charge of the Goddess.
Gather with us to do the work that calls us at our 11th residential intensive at Earthspirit, a residential retreat centre just outside of Glastonbury on the edge of Compton Dundon village in Somerset.
All traditions welcome!

Dorm Place, £450-£600
Camping Place £350-£500
Cost includes breakfast and two vegan/vegetarian meals served daily.

E-mail:
avaloncamp@gmail.com
Website: http://avalonspring.wordpress.com/

Saturday, 27 September 2008

Autumn Equinox

Gathering in the temple, we created elemental altars together. One each for earth, air, fire, water and spirit. Draped cloths in each of the four quarters, plus one in the centre of our circle were adorned with flowers, crystals, feathers, candles, shells, incense... The temple space was cleansed with incense and salt water. We cleansed each other and entered...
Together in our peaceful sanctuary, we grounded, cast a circle and invoked the elements, Deities and other Mysterious Ones.
In this time of balance and change, we wrote on leaves those things we would shed and cast them into the cauldron to be transformed. In this time of harvest, we took apples, naming them for those things we would gratefully reap and take with us into the dark half of the year. In this time of community celebration we gifted eachother with hazelnuts, naming them for the blessings we would wish on eachother.
In this time of Autumn Equinox I gathered with good friends in celebration, shed my fears and tears and grief, held on to my hopes and blessings, and discovered all the good things others wish for me. In this pause from routine, this place of balance between light and dark, summer and winter, when day and night stand as equals, I felt the shift and realised that both balance and change are necessary.
The universe is in a fine dance between stasis and chaos. And so am I. This time of upheaval in my life may well turn out to be a blessing. I am certain that it will be a time of growth and learning.
Blessed Be.
P.S. Paul's account of the ritual is here.

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Creating Sweetness


Some years ago, during a trance journey, I saw a vision of how a community in coming together and working together can be like a hive of bees: by harmoniously combining our efforts we can create something sweet and satisfying.
Last weekend I joined with other members of the British Reclaiming community to collaboratively create our sweet and satisfying Summer Gathering for 2008. This year a whole new group of volunteers had taken on the task of organising the event, in a completely new venue. They did a wonderful job, and had obviously given much thought to the planning process. For example, they had researched some of the local beauty spots and sacred sites so that people could explore the wider area if they wanted to. They had set up a 'Magic Tent' on the ritual ground, in case of wet weather (and it was just as well they had, as the weather was less than kind!). And they had a provisional programme of workshops, talks and activities planned, but also encouraged people to add their own offerings to the mix, from one-on-one skill swaps, like tarot readings or massage, to additional activities that everyone could join in.
The Gathering ran from Friday 8th to Tuesday 12th August; I went along on the Saturday and Sunday (luckily for me, the Organisers had picked a venue only a few miles from where I live!). My Mum and my friend Elizabeth came along on both days, and on Sunday another friend, Pinky, joined us too.
We began Saturday morning with a meeting where we each put into a pot those things we were hoping for from the Gathering - people put in a wide variety of 'wants' ranging from the more abstract like 're-connecting with my community', to more specific requests, e.g. 'a discussion about the runes', or 'a shoulder massage'. Then into another pot we put our offerings, which again ranged from abstract ('I will be here to listen if anyone wants to talk'), to specific ('I offer a workshop on Ecstatic Pagan Dance'). From this a very packed and interesting programme took shape, which people were able to choose from or add to when they arrived.
I co-taught two workshops myself, one on each day. On Saturday Suzanne and I co-taught 'Becoming an Ancestor' which is a trance journey into the future, designed to get people thinking about the fact that we are creating the future now - and what our hopes, fears and responsibilities around that may be. And on Sunday Pinky and I co-taught 'How to Plan a Ritual', which generated some very interesting discussions and some helpful sharing of ideas and experience. As well as these two workshops I really enjoyed Sid's fascinating presentation about local sacred sites, had fun creating a labyrinth in the rain with Penny, joined Sylvia's discussion about Transition Towns, was thoroughly entertained during a memorable Bardic Circle under the stars (David's story a great start to proceedings and as witty as ever), learned the Welsh translation of some well-known Pagan chants, picked up some useful tips on how to lead a spiral dance, helped plan the Sunday evening ritual with Tobie, Lynda and Diana, took part in the Sunday evening ritual round the campfire, discovered from Adi how to work out my 'Personality Card' and 'Soul Card' using the tarot, ate a lot of delicious food (the lemon drizzle cake was to die for!), spent a lot of money in the fund-raising auction and won some fabulous raffle prizes. And of course I also spent a great deal of time gossiping over cups of coffee with dear friends and making some lovely new ones.
I found that by the end of the weekend I was very, very tired. But being part of creating the sweetness that we all shared at the Gathering was worth it. So worth it.
Blessed Be.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Lughnasadh


On Saturday, we celebrated Lughnasadh (also known as Lammas) with others from the Carmarthenshire Pagan community. One of the themes of the festival is 'abundance', as it marks the grain harvest, and although we had a lower attendance than at the Litha ritual, we certainly managed to manifest plenty of abundance! The Earth altar was laden with corn dollies and summer fruits. At its foot was a 'Basket of Abundance' - we had asked those attending to bring a gift to give away, preferably something they had made themselves. As it turned out, most people had brought several gifts to give away, and the 'Basket of Abundance' was brimming with home-made jam, baked goods, herbal goodies and handicrafts. In the end, the basket was passed several times and we all went home with not one, but three gifts each - and there was still a surplus which will go into the Carmarthen Moot raffle to raise funds for community projects. What an excellent, practical, magical example of how sharing your harvest brings even more bounty.
P.S. Paul has written a great account of our ritual here.


Thursday, 24 July 2008

Proud to be Human

I was listening to the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 earlier. They were interviewing a soldier, Lance Corporal Matthew Croucher, who has been awarded the George Cross medal after throwing himself onto a grenade, thereby saving the lives of his fellow soldiers. It is an amazing story, and his bravery is humbling and inspiring. How many of us would make a split-second decision to put others' lives ahead of our own in such circumstances? I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it.

Also on the show, commenting on the story was a writer (I'm afraid I didn't make a note of his name), who said, 'It's the kind of story that makes you proud to be British'. His comment stopped me in my tracks. I had thought he was going to say, 'Proud to be human', with which I would have agreed wholeheartedly; proud to be human was how the story made me feel. Our strange species can be so selfish at times, but as this story proves, can also be incredibly generous and selfless.

But proud to be British? What does being British have to do with it? Did he mean that other nationalities aren't courageous? Is concern for your fellow beings determined by an arbitrary delineation on a map? I may be unpatriotic, but I don't see how being British has anything to do with the bravery of this act. I'm sure plenty of Brits in the same situation would have run for their lives. And plenty of Norwegians, Egyptians, Fijians, Peruvians, Ethiopians, Thais, New Zealanders would have done the same as Lance Corporal Croucher.

Perhaps the comment was about sharing in Lance Corporal Croucher's acclaim. But for myself, it seems more appropriate to share it as a fellow human being than as a fellow Briton. Don't get me wrong, I think Britain has much to be proud of - but I don't think we have a monopoly on bravery, chivalry, selflessness or compassion. And that's a good thing.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Shameless Plug: British Reclaiming Summer Gathering 2008



After last year's successful British Reclaiming Summer Gathering, we've decided to have another! And this time it will be held in beautiful West Wales, from 8th to 12th August (you can come for 1, 2, 3 or 4 nights). The collaboratively created programme includes workshops and offerings such as 'How to plan a ritual', 'Becoming an ancestor pathwork', 'Working with dreams', 'Tarot as a spiritual journey', 'The Story of Janet & Tam Lin', 'Bardic Circle', 'Circle Dancing', 'LETS - Local Exchange & Trading', 'Moon Magic', 'Pagan Ecstatic Dance', 'Iron Pentacle Tai Chi', Visits to beauty spots & sacred sites, a Herb Walk (discover folklore, medicinal & magical properties of herbs) and much more.

Further details are available on the British Reclaiming website - click on the link at the bottom of the list of pages on the left of the screen.

Be there - or miss it!

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Summer Solstice


Yesterday I celebrated the Summer Solstice (Litha) with other members of the Carmarthenshire Pagan Community. We gathered for a ritual in which we intended to "Celebrate light and life, taking the life force of the sun and putting it to work in our lives".
Many people came early to help set up the space, which made a nice, friendly, informal start. We ended up with five beautiful altars dedicated to the elements (Earth, Air, Fire and Water in the four corners of the room, and a central Spirit altar). As more people arrived we realised that despite the terrible weather, people were keen to be a part of this event (luckily we had elected to hold the ritual indoors!). People had come from as far away as St David's, Aberystwyth and Cardiff, which was absolutely wonderful. We were all particularly pleased to see G, who moved to Cardiff about six months ago and hasn't been able to come to the Moots since. His arrival was a lovely surprise and he was greeted by many enthusiastic hugs!
The central meditation focused on Litha being a time of love and joy, and encouraged people to notice the everyday things that are such a source of joy, yet often get overlooked. Afterwards we raised a big juicy cone of power by chanting and dancing - D had brought his guitar and P and I had brought our drums, which all really helped to get people into the spirit. We used the power raised to send positive energy out into the world, and also to charge some candles with blessings for some good friends of the community who could do with an extra 'boost' right now. We will burn these candles over the coming weeks until they are completely burned down, releasing the energy to go where it is needed.
After we had finished the ritual, devoked and opened the circle, everyone enjoyed themselves eating, drinking and socialising. Most people had brought food contributions, so we had many delicacies to share including biscuits, cake, fresh strawberries and other fruit, juices and some wonderful home-made mead.
Sadly we had to eventually pack away and depart to avoid getting a parking ticket! Here's looking forward to whatever we get up to at Lammas...

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Danger, Hidden Currents




Recently someone asked me how I got my position within British Reclaiming. This left me somewhat non-plussed, as I didn't realise I had a position within British Reclaiming, or certainly not in the sense that the questioner meant - a position of power and authority. I wasn't really sure how to answer.

I have never been a person who sought out power (actually, even writing this I'm wondering if it sounds too much like I'm trying to blow my own trumpet. I'm not. My natural inclination is in fact to put the trumpet back in the bag, hide the bag behind my back and pretend I have no trumpet - but I digress...). I remember a few Witchcamps back when we were drawing tarot cards at the beginning of path (morning class). I drew a couple of cards which were interpreted for me as meaning, 'great power and authority'. My reaction was to shrink away and protest that I didn't want those cards, they must be meant for someone else!

And yet the question about my position within British Reclaiming got me thinking. I do have several different roles within the community and I suppose this raises my profile. I can see why that may be interpreted as my having some kind of position of power. And yet from where I sit, it doesn't feel like power. The different 'hats' I wear feel like work to me. Work I do willingly and joyfully, because this community and the different ways it comes together are important to me. I readily admit that there is selfishness in my actions: I enjoy working Reclaiming-style magic and ritual, I enjoy Witchcamp, I enjoy the Gatherings, I like - and in many cases love - the people I know within Reclaiming; so in order to maintain and nourish that connection I'm willing to put in the work to ensure it continues. I edit the newsletter, co-moderate the yahoo list, co-organise events and co-teach. In each case, I have started work on these projects simply because it needed doing and I was able to help - and somehow because of this I am perceived as having some kind of authority.

Well, I suppose in a way I do. But it isn't what I came for.

For me one of the attractions of Reclaiming has always been the emphasis on sharing power. In the kind of community I want to be part of, leadership roles are shared. For example, co-teaching is encouraged to model this kind of shared power. Furthermore, if you want to know more about drumming, or priestessing a ritual, or leading a spiral dance for example, those with the expertise and experience will point you in the right direction, offer mentorship and pass on their skills, without being precious about hoarding their knowledge and experience in order to gain an advantage over others. Even initiation is optional and confers no special status on the initiate. At the same time, those with expertise to share hopefully don't feel they must downplay their skills to avoid diminishing others. Of course we all have different levels of knowledge and experience - we are all at different skill levels. That doesn't mean we have to get caught in the 'power-over' paradigm. The Reclaiming Principles of Unity state explicitly that "We strive to teach and practice in ways that foster personal and collective empowerment, to model shared power and to open leadership roles to all. We make decisions by consensus, and balance individual autonomy with social responsibility."

But of course there are also more insidious hierarchies like being in with the in crowd. The danger with this kind of invisible, unspoken hierarchy is that it elevates the few whilst being difficult for 'outsiders' to break into and become part of. Reclaiming is by no means perfect (we're a work in progress!) so this does happen sometimes. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm perceived as being part of an 'in crowd' or two myself. The presumed 'in crowds' I'm in don't feel cliquey from my perspective. I think we're friendly people who are open to and inclusive of others. And yet, we have a shared history. We have weathered some pretty severe storms collectively over the years, which has helped to bind us together with mutual trust and respect. No one joining us can share what's past. Does that make us cliquey? Not intentionally. We look forwards as well as back, and we will build new bonds with new people over time. Nevertheless, I understand that our closeness could look daunting to others, and this is problematic when the mere appearance of exclusivity can so easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So I am perceived as having both a position of power and powerful friends. And with power, just like popularity, appearances count for a lot. So does that mean I actually have 'power-over' type power? I don't think so, and yet if people are treating me as though I do, isn't that the same thing? How to handle this unexpected and unlooked for responsibility? I want to be an ethical person, but power-over is notoriously slippery to handle, a double-edged sword which subtly corrupts. How best then to negotiate the hidden currents and avoid being submerged in self-importance, or overwhelmed by discomfort over the disparity between how I see myself and how others do? Luckily this is one area in which community can provide its own remedy. At Avalon Spring this year, we worked with the notion that we need our community, in part because 'we cannot see ourselves by ourselves.' I have my own vision of myself, but it is neither 20:20 nor 360°. Luckily I also have wonderful and reliable family and friends who see me clearly. Whilst I can rely on them to hold my hand and tell me I'm wonderful when self-doubt and my inner critic are giving me a drubbing, I can also rely on them to call me on my shit and tell me honestly if I'm getting self-important or smug. Hopefully together we can navigate a relatively straight course with sails neither over-inflated nor deflated. This is truly shared power. And I think I can be comfortable with that.