Writing Ruminations: Writer Reframes

Therapists have a technique called a reframe. This technique takes a negative thought or situation and then "reframes" it to a more positive point of view. Since I'm having some trouble coming up with a blog post for this week, I thought taking this technique and working its magic on doubts that writers often have might be a fun and helpful exercise for me and for you, dear reader, too!

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1. Negative thought: I'll never make it in the writing world.

Reframe 1: I'm glad to have lots of time to learn the craft of writing. When I do make it, my writing will be tight and I'll be ready for success!

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2. Negative thought: My writing sucks.

Reframe 2: Certain parts of my writing may be iffy while I'm learning the ropes, but the more I write the better I'll become.

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3. Negative emotion: Frustration at grammar or editing errors in stories/tweets/books/rejection letters of famous authors or agents. (I've been seeing this one on other blog posts lately.)

Reframe 3: Obviously famous authors or agents are human too. Maybe the fact they make mistakes means that I can achieve that level of success too, if I keep trying.

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4. Negative thought: What if I make a mistake? (My favorite.)

Reframe 4: A mistake in your manuscript is not life threatening. Any re-writing you would have to do will only make you a better writer, and you have the time to play with it.

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5. Negative thought: No one is going to want to buy this.

Reframe 5: This is the story I want to tell right now. After I write it, I can decide what I want to do with it. Being prolific is maybe better than being perfect at this time in my writing career.

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6. Negative thought: Another rejection???

Reframe 6: Good practice. Rejections don't necessarily mean you're a sh*t writer and are going to happen. I'll keep submitting and keep writing. If I don't, I'll guarantee I'll never be a success.

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7. Negative thought: I have to get an agent/sell a mound of books/make a certain amount of money to be happy.

Reframe 7: I can find joy in writing right now. Writing is fun and creating is magic.

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Do you have any negative thoughts that plague you, or have you seen any mentioned by other writers? Write them in the comments and either write the reframe yourself, or we can work on the reframe together!

Things You Might See While Playing Pokemon Go: September Edition

Hi! As you may have noticed I've missed most of my posts in September. I can't remember what happened for the first week, but after that my father-in-law passed away and that kind of consumed the rest of the month. The end of September got here way faster than I was expecting. It was a blur.

I did, however, play Pokemon Go, so this is a good post to start blogging on again. I realized a week or so ago that I enjoy how mindful creating the blog post monthly makes me. While walking the dog and playing the game, this post makes me live in the moment and observe what I see around me.

This is at a raid, where a lot of Pokemon Go players come together to fight a large-sized Pokemon that you wouldn't be able to catch on your own. It's actually a lot of fun and there is a Pokemon Go community that you get to know through teaming up to play the game. The cannonball memorial is actually the gym where you go to fight the OP Pokemon.

I like to take pictures of the pretty parts of town, but this closed mall is down the street from my house, in a part of town that is now considered "blighted." Sadly, this is how many rural towns in Nebraska have ended up. The city is trying to re-develop the area, and there are a lot of interesting ideas floating around with what to do with the mall.

I know the name on the tombstone is Wood, but doesn't it look like it's saying "MOOD"? 😅

Yes, you can even play Pokemon Go at the Symphony! At least, you can when they play their annual concert in the park!

Tom "Bones" Malone, of Blues Brothers fame, was the guest musician at the Symphony. He also visited the schools and worked with the Jazz bands at the Middle and High Schools. Boy 2 learned the basics of soloing on his tenor sax from him! The music program here is amazing.

I just love this building. It's one of the oldest still standing in town.

My father-in-law's funeral was in Phoenix, Arizona. It was my first time seeing such large cactus and desert plants. Phoenix was beautiful and I wish we hadn't had to go for such a sad reason. I didn't play a lot of Pokemon Go while we were out there, but I did have some moments. You get extra points for some things when you catch/do them at a distance.

This is the sight right after we got off the plane in Las Vegas! And yes, the airport was FULL of Pokestops and gyms. All of the airports were - Omaha, Phoenix and Las Vegas.

After returning to Nebraska, I've been rushing to to get all my home visits done. This is on a back road between towns where I visit clients monthly.

The Pokemon is MewTwo and it was such a cool picture I had to share it. The game has an AR camera where you can take pictures of the Pokemon in the real world. The picture was taken in a nearby rural town where I visit the Assisted Living facility. I had to wait for a client to be available so took a short walk.

Lastly, here's my pup with a Lillipup! There's a resemblance, I think!

Sadly I didn't work a lot on Growing Old is Murder, but I did make some progress, so I guess I'll have to be satisfied. I should be able to start actually writing in October. Yay!

What were you up to in September? If you have artistic endeavors, have you been able to make progress? Have you read anything you'd recommend to others? Tell us all about your month!

Writing Ruminations: How Do I Cozy?

Many years ago--about 10, to be precise--I decided to try my hand at writing fiction. I cut my teeth on short stories while I learned about the three act structure, hook lines, characterization, sub-plots and sub-text. I read craft books, attended writing conferences, perused writing magazines and even took some online courses. I put my writing in front of anyone who might read and offer critique. 

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Finally, Voila! I had written a novel. And then I even wrote a second one. Granted that one took a whole lot longer to finish, but that's another post.

I started thinking about my next novel and realized that I wanted to try something a little different. It was time to try...a cozy mystery.

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I turn to all the experience and education I'd gathered over the last ten years. I try to organize myself. I try to characterize. I try to plot. I try to figure out exactly what the heck I'm supposed to put into a cozy mystery. I check blogs. I check books. I create spreadsheets. And still...

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It feels like I'm starting over at the beginning all over again. Same sense of not having a clue and not really knowing where to go to get the answers I need. My spreadsheet has helped, but even though I've been able to meet my goals for the basics (character development, setting development, etc...), when I get ready to start plotting, I feel a little lost.

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Luckily, I follow several people on twitter, including Elizabeth Spann Craig and Kellye Garrett.

Elizabeth Spann Craig has a great blog series about the basics of writing cozy mysteries. It's helped me to see the general process and she has a ton of links to other resources on the internet.

Just last week on Twitter Kellye Garrett shared a book she used to write her award winning Detective by Day mysteries. It's called Writing and Selling Your Mystery Novel by Hallie Ephron. I'd actually seen it a couple of weeks ago at the Barnes and Noble in Lincoln, but didn't purchase it at that time because I wasn't sure it would be helpful. After Kellye Garrett's recommendation, I made sure to stop by the Barnes and Noble this past weekend when we were in Lincoln picking out a cello for Boy 1 and grab the only copy.

So far it has been enjoyable to read and the exercises at the end of the chapters are practical, definitely doable and helpful for clarifying what I need to be doing to plan the novel before actually writing it. Since I'm a plantser, this very much appeals to me.

I plan to keep to my spreadsheet goals, but use the book to help me fill out the plotting part, most especially. I may switch to completing chapters by a deadline, but haven't really gotten deep into it to decide.

What do you do when you need guidance? Do you have a trusted person who is your go-to? Or do you prefer to utilize books and blog posts?

**Quick note: I STILL can't access my comments. I don't know what to do, but I wanted to say thanks to Joe and Cindy for the nice comments!!

Things You Might See While Playing Pokemon Go - July Edition

Was your July satisfying and awesome?

I have to admit my July was rather normal. I took three days off work for vacation and then Boys 1 and 2 started de-tasseling corn, so we couldn't go on any significant trips! They had one day off while I was off work as well, so we went to Eugene T. Mahoney State Park for the day and enjoyed the treetop ropes course and the paddle boats. I think we all imagined being Jedi as we were hopping from platform to platform and then zip lining to the ground.

That's me in the photo, with Boy 2 behind me. Please forgive my hair, but it kept raining off and on. We did play a little Pokemon Go at the park, too. 

Found a Pikachu on the Fourth of July!

Proof I've been working on Growing Old is Murder! This was taken at the library, which has a Pokestop right outside the window on the left. That's my husband reading across from me, and gathering as many pokeballs as he can!

The next two pictures were taken at the airport. It is a tiny airport, but there's a long drive that has a Pokestop by the airplane. I take Revan, our Labrahound, on walks there in the morning and harvest Pokeballs and Pokemon.

I just really like this tree. There are several in town, and get big white flowers on them. Does anyone know what they are? I haven't a clue!

Below is but one section of a mural that spans several buildings near our downtown area. I'll share more each month. I chose this section for this month because it's interactive with the building. I love how the people are painting the building and the man is holding the window like a picture frame.

The next two pictures are taken in one of the many parks in town. The amount of trees and vegetation here (as opposed to Wyoming) is soothing to my soul. I'm starting to think I was either a bird or a tree in a past life. If I'm feeling upset or stressed, just get me outside and I can breathe again.

Yes, I even played Pokemon Go while donating blood. (There was a Pokestop at the church where the blood drive was held.) I included the picture as a reminder that blood donation doesn't take much time and  truly saves lives. Consider getting in touch with the American Red Cross in your area to find out where you can donate. If you happen to be overseas, I have no idea how that works for you, but I still encourage you to donate today!

Last but not least is Revan. Part of why I got so into Pokemon Go is due to needing to walk him, and he often is in the back seat while we drive to the college or a park to make the rounds to the different Pokestops.

When I saw the picture of him on the shelter website I knew he was our dog. It's amazing how well he has fit into our family and how much richer our lives have been since he's become a Schiffbauer. If you're thinking about getting a new pet, I encourage you to peruse your local animal shelter. Speaking from experience, there are some fine animals there, just waiting for you.

All righty! May you all have a great week and I'll see you in August!

Writing Ruminations: Goooooal!

Have you ever been trying to write something and you feel like an unmoored ship, drifting along on the currents of confusion?

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For the last two months I've been in the developing stages of my next novel, Growing Old is Murder (working title.) It's a cozy mystery and I've never written one before. I've been alternating researching how to write a cozy mystery, creating settings, and developing a workable plot, subplots and characters. As I've had no real method to all this madness, I've become confused, distracted and overwhelmed, and consequently, I've not made any real progress.

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Earlier this week Jeanne Kisacky's blog post "My Boss is a Pushover" was featured on Writer Unboxed. I've linked it for you, if you'd like to read the post, because it is a good post. However, for the sake of my post, I'll quickly summarize that in her post, Ms. Kisacky mentioned that she'd developed a project management outline to help her track tasks and give rewards. I realized that something like a project management outline may help me clear the fog in my head.

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So, last night I spent the evening creating several Excel spread sheets, separated into task categories (as suggested by Ms. Kisacky.) My categories are Develop Characters, Develop Setting, Plot, and Scenes.

On each spread sheet I included a projected due date. My goal is to have enough character development completed by July 19th that I can "see" them enough to start writing. The development of the three main setting locations are due for July 26th; broad plot points and subplots chosen by July 31st. Then, as you can see above, I start writing scenes, with the whole first draft done in November. Once I get the first draft done I'm going to develop a spreadsheet for editing. 

I will say right now that my goal dates are quite challenging in my mind, but I have already developed quite a bit of the characters and settings. It's not as if I'm starting at the very beginning.

I'm trying to keep the pace somewhat rapid so I am forced to make decisions and move ahead. With Through the Fairy Ring I got so mired in choices and the anxiety of making a bad decision that it took for-freaking-ever. Trying really hard this time around to keep my momentum and enjoy the process.

Also, I subscribe to the "If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll still land in the stars" point of view.

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Yes, I am aware that there's tons of empty space between the moon and our nearest star which is not the sun. Let's just not acknowledge that fact when trying to motivate, right?

I was completely surprised at how much more centered and grounded I felt when I completed the spreadsheet. I know what I need to do and now have an idea for when I need to have it done. I'm hopeful my spreadsheet will help keep me on task and motivated. 

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Oh! That's the last piece of the puzzle. I've decided a mocha frappe from McDonalds is going to be my reward for when I complete a task (at any time), but maybe I'll give myself a double-reward if I finish a task by the due date. I like that idea!

How do you keep yourself organized and focused while writing? Or even just in everyday life? Any tricks you'd like to share?

What Social Media Should I Keep (or Do People Even Blog Anymore?)

Many years ago I read how writers need a social media presence and I jumped in one hundred percent. I joined Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Google+, Wattpad, probably a ton of others I don't even remember now, set up this blog, set up a website and promptly felt overwhelmed. I wasn't going to give up, though. If social media was what I had to do to be successful, than I was going to do my best!

Fast forward to today, and a lot has changed in my life, and to my perspective on writing. I've learned to view my writing "career" as a journey and while I'm on this journey I better be enjoying myself or I won't keep going. There has to be a balance between ambition and acceptance, or I end up with paralyzing anxiety that prevents me from writing.

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I have been evaluating all of my social media accounts and trying to decide which are worth spending time on and which I should let go of, because I don't have time for writing, cultivating all the social media accounts I've developed in the past and living the rest of my life.

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Part of why I wanted to resurrect this blog site is because I miss the ability to connect with people. Blogging seems to allow the most opportunities to share full thoughts and ideas and have a decent discussion (if others will engage, of course.) Some of the friends I made blogging are the ones who are still talking with me today, and are the biggest support to me as a writer. 

On Twitter I see so many new writers looking for connections, for someone to talk to about their experiences and so excited about their beginning writer's journey. While I'm not some amazingly published writer who meets the standard measures of writing success, I would still like to be able to offer, through this blog, a place for people to find inspiration and motivation along their way.


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Twitter happens to be the social media site I have maintained over the last several years, because it is where I found some real friends whom I am very fond of. We bonded over Shakespeare and I can't imagine not checking in and seeing how everyone is doing. The nature of tweeting is to be short and sweet, and this is a plus. It's a good way to connect with lots of people in a shorter amount of time. Now if only it would stop being so angry over there!

After all the issues we've learned over the past two years regarding Facebook and privacy violations, I don't really spend a lot of time over there. I do maintain my author page, though, and try to post periodically. I view Facebook more as a delivery system than a place to cultivate relationships.

I am planning on closing my Wattpad account. I haven't been successful over there since Finding Meara released and I think the only reason the release went as good as it did was because of the family and friends who gave it the first boost so it was actually visible. I don't have the time now to devote to developing a reader base on Wattpad and write new stuff, too. It's kind of like when your hair gets too long and you need a trim. Wattpad is a place I feel I can trim and not miss anything.


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Please keep in mind, though, that the main point of this post is that I am making my decisions based off what I feel fits my desires and needs best. I'm not pushing myself into a cookie cutter design of social media presence just to make sure my bases are covered. I'm designing my social media presence around how I think I'll get the most enjoyment in the process and offer the most to my potential readers. 

And finally, just because I don't think a site works for me doesn't mean it won't work for you!! That's between you and your own personal journey. I wish you the best of luck with finding what makes the best sense to you and will give you the most satisfaction.

Have a great week!

What does your social media presence look like? Have you been more active in the past, or are you just starting out in the social media maze?

Guest Post: An Editing Process of My Own

I'm very fortunate today to share this guest post by long time friend, critique-partner and editor, Suzi Wieland. I met Suzi through blogging about nine years ago and was lucky enough that she's stuck around to help, encourage and inspire me. She does fabulous line and copy edits and has a great sense of humor that comes out in her editing comments. It's always fun to see what she has to say when I get edits back from her. Without further ado, here is Suzi!

Trying to Figure Out How to Edit

I started writing in 2010. It seems so long ago, and I’ve learned a lot, but I still feel like I’m learning. A while back I realized that not only do I love writing, but I love editing. Except not editing my own work. I like editing other peoples’ stories, and a couple years ago I started working with some great women at CookieLynn Publishing, where I do line and copy editing.

Beta reading and freelance editing has helped my own writing so much, but it still feels overwhelming at times. But now, eight long years into this writing thing, I’m finally starting to feel like I’m figuring out my own editing process.

I can write fast and I don’t edit as I go, but that means my editing takes longer. In the past I’ve spent so much time editing, with no rhyme or reason. I read through it and revised. Read through again and revised. Repeat, repeat, repeat... with no order or nothing specific I’m editing for. I just do everything at every step. I don’t want to spend that much time editing anymore, and I want to streamline things and be more efficient. Everybody needs to figure out what works for them, but this is how I’ve been doing it lately.

After finishing writing, I’ll probably hand it off to a beta reader, and I won’t look at it again until the reader gives it back. I think it’s important to put a bit of space between you and your manuscript before diving into editing again, give it some fresh eyes.

So once the beta reader returns the story, I’ll do my first revision, including adding things like more description and emotion, which I sometimes lack. I’ll make sure all my plot issues are worked out and add more if my characters aren’t fleshed out enough. I’ll hit those big story things.

Then I’ll print the manuscript out and edit it on paper, including looking for redundancies, where I need to show instead of tell, and where I need to further develop (or cut) scenes. After I’ve made those changes, I’ll do a big search and destroy of all those unnecessary words (like JUST and REALLY and THAT and so many more) and I’ll find those filter words (like KNEW and FELT and others). I have a big list of things I need to look at, so this is where I’ll check those things off my list.

The next step is to read it on an e-reader, which I do out loud. Reading the story aloud really helps me catch stupid typos and those things that just don’t flow right. So this revision step is about how it sounds out loud but also the grammar and punctuation.

If it’s a story I’m self-publishing, my next step is to do my paperback on CreateSpace and get a proof copy, which I’ll read through again. From that I’ll format my ebook for publication, which would be my final read-through.

It seems like a lot of steps, but at least I have an order to doing things and I feel more confident about the process. This strategy is still new to me, so I will probably be adjusting as I go, but having a plan is much more efficient way to edit.

Do you have a certain editing process that you follow? Or is it an endless stream of revisions with no point, like I used to do? Also, do you like to edit your own work or is it a necessary step to publication that you hate?

Suzi has been writing since 2010 and just recently published a horror novella called Shallow Depths. She is currently working on adult thriller and horror projects, but has many contemporary young adult stories she might publish someday too. In her non-writing time, she works as an editor for CookieLynn Publishing and mostly chases after her kids and dog.

Happy End of 2017 and Bring on 2018!

Happy New Year!

As I'm waiting through the last hours of 2017 I'm not particularly interested in ruminating about the past and how I've not posted for the last several months. I don't want to review the crazy state of the United States, or discuss how I've worked through the angst and drama of the last year, or how I've gotten to a point where I'm at today.

Instead, I say let's move on.  Good-bye, 2017.



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I have been thinking about what "moving on" might look like. And obviously, if I'm going to keep this blog going, I need to change it up. I can't find funny photos anymore. Writing about my general thoughts on the world will only be more of a downer than it already is out there in real life land. And who wants that!



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A couple of weeks ago I decided I want to make the internet a nicer place. And while I can't change the overall culture of social media, I can add positive content on my social media.



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I can't tell you for sure what that might look like. I feel terrible that I keep promising stuff and then don't follow through. So, I'm not promising! But, I'm going to be looking for beauty and positivity to write about each week (hopefully), whether it be my own experience, or something that is inspirational and/or motivational in life or in regard to writing, and I'm hoping to have guest bloggers as well. We'll see how it works out. It's all going to be an experiment!

May you all have a wonderful New Year's Day and I'm sending my most positive wishes for a great upcoming year!


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Much peace and joy to you - Lara

Learning to Write Fearlessly

This is how I'm feeling this afternoon! I would love a nap.

Instead, I'm editing, blogging and cleaning.  Well, I'm attempting to blog. I'm finding it difficult to start a post. And I think I know why, and so that will be what I'll talk about. I did look for funny photos, but they were not all that funny.

The book I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Fearless Writing, has been very enlightening. I've read the beginning chapters, and then chapters on procrastination and accuracy, among others. Through the little bit I've rad, I understand that, today, I'm finding it hard to start because I'm afraid of being boring. I don't want to waste your time.

In order to write this post today, I'm acknowledging that maybe this isn't the most exciting or interesting post, but first, it's my blog and I can write whatever I want--even if it is boring. Secondly, while I may feel this post has the potential to be boring, it also may be helpful to someone. The point I need to remember is I don't know! I can't control anything once I write it and hit that publish button. I have to honor myself and my creation, explain what I feel or believe through essay or fiction, and then be satisfied with my efforts. Once I publish whatever it is I've written, it is up to you, the reader, to decide how to receive it (favorably or not.)

At least, that is what I've gotten from the book so far.

The interesting thing is that there's a correlation between writing a blog or writing fiction. I find it difficult to start writing fiction because of the same reasons. The ugly "what-if's" begin in my head and it isn't comfortable or fun to write. Writing becomes a chore, and so I stop.

The only place where I don't have that self-doubt when I start writing is when I write poetry. I know my poetry is for me only--at least when I write it--to express myself, and I will decide after the fact if I want to share it. It's the perfect freedom to create and is a perfect example of the book's validity. Not thinking about what happens after you publish and having writing be fun do seem to improve the likelihood of starting and continuing writing.

And learning these things did seem to help today. I started multiple times and looked at the screen for about an hour trying to figure out how to start the post and what to write about. Finally, when I realized exactly what I was afraid of, and when I decided to just write a post, I finally was able to write something.

Who knows, this may be the start of something great!

Have a great week! I'm excited for the eclipse tomorrow. We have one of the longest totalities in Nebraska. It's going to be great, as long as the clouds don't move in!

Silly Saturday Photos: Pretty Crocodiles

Happy Weekend!

I hope the week has gone well and you can look forward to a calm and relaxing few days off. Or, perhaps you want a wild and exciting fun time. Whatever your wishes, I hope the weekend meets your expectations!

Following a very busy week, I am definitely ready for some time off. I have been reading Fearless Writing and am identifying with Kenower's observations. I haven't had time to edit during the week, but last weekend I edited several chapters. I've also been completing the exercises at the end of the chapters in Kenower's book and brainstorming on new stories. I'm starting to think about writing without dreading it or experiencing the self-loathing I've attached to my lack of production and amazingly maintain my motivation to create. That's progress.

This week I actually found some funny pictures worthy of sharing. I hope you enjoy them!

Doing home visits in a neighboring county this week I ran into swarms of butterflies, which I believe are part of this years Monarch Butterfly migration. Sadly, I can't count how many I killed with the car. And the birds were picking them off, too. It's a wonder any actually make it to their destination. In my defense, I did try to avoid them, once I realized they weren't grasshoppers.  I won't actively try to kill anything, but I don't feel too bad if I accidentally run over a few grasshoppers.

Speaking of grasshoppers...

Said no squirrel ever!

Such cute puns!

Did any of the photos tickle your funny bone? Or at least give you a chuckle? I'm partial to the patient squirrel. I have a love/hat relationship with squirrels. They're awfully cute, but frustrate me to no end. Almost as much as the local bunnies. The chameleon is a close second.

Have a great weekend!

Time to Grow Up?

I was talking to a friend on Twitter today about writing goals and aspirations. He is working diligently on a screen play and obviously is very invested time-wise with his writing career. The subject of my second book came up and he very innocently asked if I had started it.

If Twitter had sound effects, a derisive snort would have accompanied my response that I not only had started it, but that it was done...and, truth be told, it's partially edited. Making this admission to him had an interesting effect on me. The first is that I realized that I have written two books. I've always dismissed the second book as not counting because I haven't yet published it. But, saying to my friend that the book is done and really not far away from being published... Well, I totally see myself in a different light. 

I think I may well be a writer.

Maybe not well-paid. Maybe not well-sold. But I did write two books. That's got to count for something.

And I've written short stories that have been published in minor publications, as well as written all the other short stories and poetry that I never tried to publish. Maybe I'm not like all the other "I've written novels since I was two and would die if I didn't write" people. But, maybe--just maybe--I really am a writer.

The second effect was that I thought, "What the hell is wrong with me that I'm not just finishing and publishing the damn thing!" It's been five years--Five years!!--since I started writing the thing and I just keep dragging my feet and ignoring the pleas coming from my laptop to finish the little darling and set it free.

I know I've mentioned this curious procrastination here before. This reluctance (inability?) to get unstuck truly boggles my mind. I have a sneaky suspicion that anxiety is involved somehow. I'll go to write or to edit--I'll WANT to write or edit--and then the What-If's creep in (what if it sucks, what if I suck, etc...) and I just don't.

Yesterday my family and I went to Lincoln for one of the concerts of the Meadowlark Music Festival (Saxophonist Marco Albonetti with percussionist Dane Richeson). Before the concert we went to Barnes and Noble and I went back to the Writing section--a little reluctantly, believe it or not. 

Sitting on the shelf was a book called Fearless Writing by William Kenower. I'm not saying this book is going to be the savior of my procrastinating self. Last night, though, I read through the introduction and feel better because if someone wrote a book about "how to create boldly and write with confidence" then it's not just me with this problem.

Do I feel silly? Yes. Part of me is rolling my eyes at the part that is reading a writer's self-help book. But, I want to write. I want to finish my story, I want to figure this out.

Have you heard of the book Fearless Writing? Does fearless writing come naturally to you? 

The Artist's Life

We could probably start this post by talking about a sort of identity crisis I had when I moved.

Let it suffice to say that when I moved I was stripped of all the ways I used to feel important and special. It's just what happens when you change up your life completely.

Family

I've always been mom and wife, though, even after moving (of course.) Over the last two years I've learned that those are the two roles that mean the most to me and make me most proud of who I am. Perhaps that's why, if I have a choice between spending time with my family or working on a story, I'll most likely choose family.  Over the last two years, I've decided to not feel bad about that fact, either. My kids will grow up and eventually I'll have all kinds of time to to write and edit. I want to fill my memory with as much love and children hugs as possible now while I can still get them.

Career

After the first year, due to monetary issues (ie. lack of...) I returned to social work.

And now I've comfortably reclaimed social worker as another part of my identity. Different population and different type of social work, but it turns out I really do enjoy helping others, and seem to be pretty good at it. Nobody enjoys the paperwork, but I feel good when I get it all done, so there's that bit of silver lining.

Writing

When I released Finding Meara I added the role of author to my identity, even though (because I self-published) I felt a little like I was cheating. Now, five years later, I don't know what to think. Am I an author, really? Or because I haven't been making writing a priority does that mean I'm a big fraud and never was a writer/author? If I do still consider myself a writer, what kind of writer am I? Will I ever be disciplined enough to actually finish editing Through the Fairy Ring and write more/new stories?

I honestly feel like I am a writer, but I sure don't act like one!

And then, when I do try to write, my muse is...well, absent? I don't know, but I don't really feel all that creative. I'm trying to pump water out of a dry well. I plan to write every day, and I really do want to. I WANT to write. A month ago I plotted a flash fiction story for a Wattpad contest. I thought it was great, right? Went to write it out a couple of weeks ago and realized it was...well...crap. I mean an honest to goodness craplet. I can't seem to work on anything that gets me excited to write. I'll have little brushes with words and ideas that make me believe I'm going to turn on the writing mojo and get cracking again. But it just fades away or gets stalled out.

What's a writer to do?

This week I was driving to do home visits in a nearby tiny Nebraska town and heard a John Mellencamp interview on NPR. He said that one day he'd realized he'd become someone he didn't like. He was focused on how his records were performing and getting frustrated if they didn't get a lot of acclaim or do well. He was living a "rock and roll" life, focused on the money, glory and how his music benefited him instead of living "an artists life" and was determined to change that.

He decided he was going to "create" every day. It didn't have to be any certain type of creating, he just had to create. He paints, or writes, or plays music, or whatever. And he found the muse became readily available to him. He'll be painting something and all of a sudden his Muse will overwhelm him with something he needs to write. He'll be writing and a melody will come to him. He said that the act of choosing to create every day has enabled him to get out of his own way and just make art. He doesn't worry about if it's good or bad, or whether it'll be profitable or if people will like it. He just creates. Every day.

So, I figure, what the heck? Why not give it a try. Let's see if by creating anything I can start writing something. I'm not terribly talented in many artistic areas. Most of the creative arts I've been involved in require other people (acting, drumming.) But, I figure it doesn't matter, really. I will just try out some new things. I'll draw, or paint, or write, or craft something (scrapbooking page? beading? wire art?)

I've decided to commit to one week of living an artist's life. I know myself well enough to know that I need to make a declaration of my doable goal in order to even have half-a-chance of actually doing this. Here it is, my declaration. You, reading this right now, are my witness and it's to you I'll have to report to next weekend.

Today, obviously, this blog post is going to be my creation. Tomorrow, who knows. But I think it's going to be fun to find out. And that might be what I've lost in writing. Why my muse doesn't want to come and play. I'm no fun to be around. Hopefully I'll find that changed, even if just a little bit, by next weekend.

How do you maintain creative flow in your life?

Are you a "show up and work" kind of creator, or do you have to have inspiration to create?

(I really do want to know!)

Lazy Saturday Photos: A Cozy Mystery Setting?

It's been tough to find funny photos the last couple of weeks, so I thought this week I'd do a random photo post, instead. Welcome to Lazy Saturday photos!

I've been toying with writing  a cozy mystery. I know, I know. I have a contemporary fantasy I need to get finished and really shouldn't be thinking about anything else. But, I haven't written anything new in a really long time, and I think I'm finally sorting through my writerly issues and am ready to soldier on (I'll need to do a blog post on that some day.) And the plotting of a new story is some of the best fun I have in writing.

So, anyway...back to why I should write a cozy mystery... I love Murder She Wrote and mystery dramas on television, read reams of cozy mysteries, and realized many of the thrillers I've enjoyed over the years owe much to the mystery genre as well. Even my own books are kind of mysteries hidden behind a fantasy veneer. And my love of mystery, specifically of the cozy variety, came early to me, as I loved the Encyclopedia Brown books, Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew as a child.

My home town (the current one) kind of lends itself as a setting. It's not very big (25,000 people) but still big enough to have complex relationships. We've got a college, a community college, a museum, library, courts, crime, (limited) retail, a nifty downtown area, bike paths, and will be at totality of the solar eclipse this summer. Seventy-five percent of the population is retired, and people still wave and smile at each other, go to the parks on a hot summer day, and attend high school sports events. And it's beautiful here! Lots of trees, green grass and flowers. There is a seedy underside, of course. My husband is a probation officer and I hear about some of the problems of the area from co-workers, too. It's not perfect, but it seems like a nice setting for a cozy mystery, a la the Cat Who books.

So, I thought I'd take you on a tour of our town today. My family and I went for a bike ride this morning, and I took some photos of a couple of the places we went by. I'll share just a few that give an idea of what I find appealing about this little town.

We started off by going to the park where bricks were made many years ago. The stacks are still standing and the size of the park is immense. It's more like an over-sized meadow than a park, with lush green grass and graceful trees sharing the space with an amphitheater and some pretty ancient playground equipment my kids adore.

This picture was actually taken on a different day.

Then we headed downtown and decided to stop for a bite to eat.

I always forget how expensive Jimmy Johns is. So much time passes between our visits to the restaurant, because of how expensive it is, I forget and then am always shocked at the tab when we do go. Today was no different. It will now be another 9 mos to a year before we eat at Jimmy Johns again.

This is one panel of a connected row of buildings whose rear exteriors are painted in a colorful mural along the bike path. I liked this one because of the flying moose. Just joking. I'm actually quite perplexed at the flying moose. It's not like there are moose in Nebraska. In any case, all the panels are whimsical and bright. Very interesting to look at, and I imagine have meaning to the area.

Just a picture of my family going down the bike path. I'm so enchanted with the amount of trees in this town. Very different from where we lived in Wyoming.

The bike path follows a viaduct over the train tracks. I love how train tracks look when seen from above. They seem to hold a promise of travel and novelty. Even if you aren't going to be hopping a train soon!

This was new along the path. We can't tell if it's someone's personal tree house or if it was built along the path for the public to play in.

And then finally we ended up at a different park than the morning. Actually, by taking the bike path in a big (10-12 mile) circle, we managed to go through the three major parks in town. This one has new equipment, old equipment and a spray park. We enjoyed all three, proving once again that playgrounds aren't just for children, they're for the young at heart.

I hope everyone had as nice a Saturday morning as we did. I decided to limit my social media/internet usage today, so as to not taint the day with the craziness of the outside world. I wish all of the world could have some of the peace and contentment I had today.

Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next Saturday!

For the Writers: Are We Good Enough?

How many of us ask ourselves that question on a daily basis?

Artists, Writers and Performers, oh my.

The thing about creative pursuits is that, sooner or later, they should be shared with others. Yes, a person can write for themselves, but the magic happens when you share the story and other people can relate to it. Musicians can become masters of an instrument, but the magic happens when they share the beauty of that instrument and what they can do with it to the world. Actors can get together and read plays, but the magic happens when an audience member is held spell-bound at the intensity of emotion dramatized on the stage.

So the creative arts allow us to connect with others in a very unique way, but they also make a person vulnerable. Creators will receive external feedback at some point-sometimes good, sometimes bad. Or they won't receive any feedback (ie. no one will even bother to engage with their creation) and they'll wonder why.

Success?

I don't want to give a definition to what being successful as an artist is. Each person has their own definition, and maybe it wouldn't even include sharing their work with outsiders. However, the world's definition of success often involves significant social approval.

As a writer, it seems that popularity equals book sales  (if you're indie) and/or agent/publishing deals (if you're taking the traditional route), and so if those things aren't happening, you're not successful.

There, I said it.

And by that definition, even though I'm doing better than some, I am sooo not successful as a writer.

And there are lots of my writer friends who are feeling this pain as well. I'm seeing lots of blog posts about writer fatigue, how to deal with those depressive writer feelings (this one here, by Jan O'Hara at Writer Unboxed has some great advice), and questioning if they should continue or just quit.

How common are you?

On Monday, I was followed by @GritFire on Twitter, and saw the following tweet:

Don't be common. pic.twitter.com/XtdFpqbKOV

— GritFire (@GritFire) October 19, 2015

I retweeted it with the response, "I'm trying! But what do you do if "it" never happens?" Because that's what I've been contemplating lately, and what I think my writer friends have been contemplating.

As writers we're told that, if we just write a great story (being special and uncommon), your book will sell, or you'll get an agent, etc... Or we're told to market our books one way, or submit our books another way, and then you'll grab the golden writer ring.

But what no one talks about it is the element of luck involved. Well, no one but Porter Anderson (@porteranderson). Thank God for Porter and his reality-based publishing industry posts.

Yes, hard work is first and foremost. If you don't put in the work to develop and master the skills to write a good story, then you're sure to be a failure. But the message of the tweet, and of writer society in general is "Work hard and you'll become something (special). If you don't become something, it's your fault. You weren't good enough."

But I don't feel like that's true. There have been plenty of famous people who acknowledge the roll luck, or timing, or any of a number different variables besides hard work played in their success. And then there are the confusing monumental successes that cause you to question humanity's taste and ask WTF?

There have been several opportunities for my writing career to be different, but it's not happened - and those opportunities have been out of my hands. External feedback, be it positive, negative or indifferent, is not something I can control.

I'm coming to accept that my stories, my blog (me!) just aren't resonating with a large audience of people, for whatever reason. And what do I do now? Should I quit? Should I stop dreaming? Should I stop trying? Am I truly not good enough to succeed as a writer?

An Answer from an Unlikely Source

@GritFire was nice enough to favorite my tweet, but they didn't give me an answer. I did find one, though, in the e.e. cummings-like tweet from Luka Sulic of the 2Cellos. (When I got blown away by their music several weeks ago, I naturally followed them (both individually and the 2Cellos account) on Twitter.)

Serendipity is everyday magic. How funny that a random tweet would be a fitting response to my question of GritFire.

His instagram stated:

Be yourself.  Believe in yourself.

No, not rocket science, and definitely been stated before, but for some reason I heard the message differently this time.

We are writers - all of us struggling-to-persevere people are creative, wonderful people. Just by being human beings, we're already special and uncommon, and our stories are special and unique to us.

We are writers, and writing is what we do. Our stories can make a difference in the world, and deserve to be told.

We are writers, and we are good enough to not give up. To keep trying. And, maybe, to someday succeed.