Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Ghostmaker (2012)

The ill-named Rumpelstiltskin Grinder doesn't likely require an introduction to a lot of folks following the more popular modern thrash currents of the 21st century. Their goofy nomenclature alone sticks to the brain like flies to scat, and collectively the members have a shit ton of experience from groups like Divine Rapture, XXX Maniak and others that you've also probably never heard of. That said, beyond just the 'novelty' and weak sense of humor that they cull from their lyrics and topics, they stand out from the legions of 80s wannabes through their incorporation of melodic death/black and grind elements into the primal Bay Area energy they evince from their guitars. Thrash is the mortar, surely, but the pestle is something more decidedly 'extreme'.

In the past, I haven't had much interest in their records; not just because I found them cheesy and unfunny, but because their tendency and technique of throwing a bunch of influence at the listener never configured itself into particularly memorable riffing or songwriting. Granted, Living for Death... was a firm step past the debut in quality, but let's just say Ghostmaker was not something I highly anticipated. As it turns out, though, this is a more cohesive and volatile product than tiehr of the preceding albums, a more muscular expression of the group's puerile purpose delivered across a dozen hymns of various fantasy contrivances like "Desert Goblins", "Nightworms" and so forth. The style is still propulsive thrash metal sped up with a variety of 90s influences, usually from Sweden, with the barked out snarling timbre made popular by groups like At the Gates (or Carcass, really). Sturdy rockers like "Nightworms" recall Witchery during their prime, with a fraction of added intensity, but these it turns out are only the tip of the beard.

Clearly, the Pennsylvanian band puts a lot of effort into scripting these tracks, because despite the fact that they ricochet all over the spectrum, they seem pretty well paced and balanced. I doubt anyone could accuse Ghostmaker of lacking variation, but sometimes, as in the bouncy grooves of "Iron Jaw" or the predictable breakdown grooves in "Dripping With Venom", this just doesn't payoff. They're far cooler when they are tearing out the more complex, busy death/thrash riffing reminiscent of fellow US groups like Soulless, Impaled or Ghoul, or their 'eerier' melodies like at the intro to "Cold Haunting Death". Thankfully, there are more than enough of these passages to declare Ghostmaker the best of the three albums I've heard so far. The production is good and even handed, impressive as they did it themselves; with a nice punch to the riffs; the one caveat is that the vocals are entirely too generic sounding and in dire need of some character. At any rate, fans of Witchery's Restless & Dead, Ghoul's Splatterthrash or Exhumed's Anatomy is Destiny might dig this.

Verdict: Win [7/10]

http://www.rumpelstiltskingrinder.com/

Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Living for Death, Destroying the Rest (2009)

Buried in the Front Yard, the debut from Pennsylvanian thrash oddity Rumpelstiltskin Grinder, probably reaped in a little more credit and hype than it deserved, but keep in mind that the star of thrash metal was rising once more, and as Relapse's official entrant to the dance, they were offering something slightly more unusual and palatable than their emergent peers. Granted, I was no huge fan of this debut, I found it uneven and all too easy to forget in short order, but clearly the band had some talent submerged beyond their fairy tale facade, and Living for Death, Destroying the Rest grabs the spearhead of potential and thrusts it like a cantankerous phallus into the face and ears of the disbeliever.

Essentially, this sophomore takes all of the elements of the debut and escalates them to a denser, fibrous platform which hits a lot harder than the reservations of that predecessor. The traces of metalcore/thrash that were hinted at there are expanded with bigger riffs and more forceful ministrations like "Nothing Defeats the Skull", "Fiends in the Mountain, Ghouls in the Valley" or "Traitor's Blood", which dominate bands like Shadows Fall, God Forbid and Lamb of God at their own game, with far superior technical musicianship and fetching guitar riffs aplomb. It's unusual to have such a 'tough guy' aesthetic pounding in a tongue tie with such an airy penchant for melody, but against all odds, the Pennsylvanians make it function. What's more, you've got a few tracks like the acrobatic "Spyborg", and the more driven, deathlike taint of the "Dethroning the Tyrant" trilogy that seals off the album (especially "Sewers of Doom", which are genuinely engaging and interesting.

I'm not sure that Living For Death, Destroying the Rest is necessarily a 'good' album, but having no expectations whatsoever, it was a pleasant improvement over the first in almost every single category. Better leads, better riffs, and a superior production mark for a more intense listening experience, and the album only rarely feels overly 'silly' (the unneeded crossover anthem "Beware the Thrash Brigade" being a noted exception). The quality of the tracks is quite uneven, and I wish there had been more with the caliber of writing found on "Spyborg" or "Sewers of Doom", but overall even the worst of the bunch are comparable or slightly better than what the band were writing years before this, so there is indisputably an upwards evolution here that might one day bear some truly tasteful fruit.

Verdict: Indifference [6.75/10]

http://www.rumpelstiltskingrinder.com/

Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Buried in the Front Yard (2005)

Rumpelstiltskin Grinder are a fairly perplexing act that arrived right on the leading edge of the modern thrash retrospective, but they've got little to nothing in common with most of the mediocre 80s worship nerds. Granted, there is clearly a huge influence from both the chunky power of Bay Area thrash and a hardcore saturation that owes a little to say, Demolition Hammer or the NY crossover bands like Cro-Mags and Crumbsuckers, but this is flavored with a little edge of technicality, a tiny trace of death metal. Add to this the curious but attractive cover art and the band's bizarre name and it fills a rather unique niche: demented fairy tale thrash? The lyrics expand upon this, of course, often covering such subjects as military hardware ("Ode to Tanks") and government conspiracies ("Stealing E.T."), but they're always engaging some medium of cryptic silliness that make the band a little hard to take seriously, and I'm sure they don't want you to.

Whether or not this is welcome, of course, depends on whether or not you find the band's sense of humor actually funny. I do not. It feels like we're not always in on some inside joke, or like some spastic internet memes given audio flesh. Thus, for my own enjoyment, I had to rely entirely on the band's musical skill and composition, and here at least they do not completely drop the ball. "Stealing E.T." presents some hammering, schizoid thrash, and there are a handful of brazen sub-tech rhythms and a flighty but frenetic lead sequence which certainly deliver, though they seem encapsulated in less interesting fare that does little but drive the mosh pit. "Orange and Black Attack" has a worthwhile opening trot, like a less intense Dark Angel or Demolition Hammer, but then throws this away on a dumb chorus of 'No, we're not fucking around' which threatens you from a pretty boring, typical thrash riff.

There are several other highlights like the bustling lattice of woven, muted melodies that inaugurates "Grab a Shovel (We've Got Bodies to Bury)" or the thumpy bass and melodic slicing of "Unleash the Troll" which veers towards a more technical black/thrash territory, but even these are not entirely solid or memorable in the greater context of their combined riff qualities. "Grinder" is basically a melodic death/thrash piece which, while vivacious and sprightly like the Swedish overlords, with a chugged/arpeggio trade off during the bridge, but nothing here seems to attract the attention after a listen or two. "The Day Merman Met Todd 'The Harpoon" sucks aside from its exotic bridge. "Let the Fools Cheer" has some worthwhile if annoying guitar lines, but the splattered bark of the vocalist seems to clutter the composition, and "Ode to Tanks" opens with a grievously dull rolling hardcore/thrash mosh rhythm that continues into the verse like we were listening to Earth Crisis with a different vocalist. It grows more interesting as it proceeds into warlike, melodic thrash territory, but still forgettable.

With a bit more emphasis on its apparent strengths in musicianship and a few less cloying, dull breakdown segments, Buried in the Front Yard might have been a decent debut of modern thrash that kept one eye forward with the other on the past. The guitars are very chunky, and they seem a little off balance with the leads, though the muted melodies the band are constantly inhabiting sound bold enough. The vocals are appropriately vicious, somewhere between a Don Doty and Chuck Schuldiner, but upon any examination of the lyrics, they quickly lose their edge. It's ironic, because not all of the prose is necessarily terrible: the subject matter might be folly, but Rumpelstiltskin Grinder have put at least a little thought into it, and since they've done the same for just about every element of the music, it deftly manages to avoid the Pit of Suck.

Verdict: Indifference [5.25/10]

http://www.rumpelstiltskingrinder.com/