People these days

Well, all was fine until yesterday. I came back after having a dialogue session in Sunway. The dialogue was definitely fun, we had a deputy minister of higher education with us, enjoyed the dialogue session about students and politics, and then had fun with questions tossed around. It was a high quality learning and sharing session. Too bad for those who missed it. It was also my 1st time using the graduate centre. The hall wasnt that big but it was fully equiped and 2 halls can sort of merge together through remote cameras installed in each hall.

Came back, parked my car in, then went in to have my pisang goreng. Then suddenly my dog was moaning, so I went out and saw him outside. Normally its fine to leave the dogs out, the neighbours do the same thing all the time and we were very used to it. But this time, I saw my dog with a bleeding eye. Nobody was there on the road, but I was quite sure someone threw a stone at its eye because there was a lone stone on the road and my dog's eye was swollen. No other part was injured so most likely it would be a ranged throw and it was so unlucky that it hit the eye. My dog is already 12, have a very poor vision due to cataract and practically 75% blind already. Now the poor thing has a badly swollen eye, and because of the trauma, he dare not open the other too wide. So now its practically blind now, only using its nozzle to check its surroundings. Imagine a happy and cheerful dog now hiding around a corner and being so afraid to move... sad eh? Well, I hope he gets well soon.

About the culprit, to be honest I couldnt really be bothered. I wont harm him in any way if i do know who it is, and its not like i can prove anything even if i tried to sue, and furthermore it was also my fault to leave my dog running alone outside. Oh well, I dont mind spending time taking care of him, but pity him having to end up in a dark and scary world before he dies. Sometimes I wonder whether he would be better off and happier if we were to put him to sleep. I'm fine with death, its inevitable, but whether its the right time. Just like my grandma, she got a stroke before she passed away. She was perfectly fine before and there wasnt any symptoms. The stroke didn't take her away, but she was already in a coma state. The few days in the hospital, I felt that she was already losing will. So when she finally went off, i didn't really feel too upset. I thought it was what she would have wanted, being a very independent women herself, she wouldnt have been able to live with being in a coma/vegetative state. Why did I suddenly bring her up? Haha, maybe because I still do miss her. She was very close, we share the same room last time. It was very happy with her around :')

Haha, thats it for now~ Here are some pics of my dog :

Can see the right eye(left in pic) is swollen

Close ups

Thats how he looks

Dare not open the other eye now too

Get well soon...

SCREEAAAMMMMM!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Now I just want to scream out loud. Got so many things to do and I don't know whether I can finish on time or not. Like I have law and marketing assignment due soon, personal deadline set is by the end of this week. Even though I am trying my best to read the journals, its not easy when some of it is boring, and the focus is actually just to find key points that I might need. Reading has never been fun that way for me. So since I'm so bored, I decided to come here and make a post.

Lets see, a simple update of my own life would be the election of the ACS committee, and I finally got picked for the publicity post~ yay me! Gonna handle the facebook and emails from now~ not to mention gonna be the one posting photos~ current mental note to self is not to take too many pictures of myself XD. They had a small session to get together on sunday but too bad i couldnt go. Anyways, we gonna have another more serious session on thursday and then i'd be more in the loop~

Talking about others, some are just so happy to go on 2 rounds of travelling : elysia, fiona, kailing, nicole, evelyn~~ and im stuck here doing my assignments~ the very least would be post some nice photos up and share the fun :( all they been posting about is how happy they are...me so envy! T.T but then theres others who also have to spend their time working on assignments. Sad creatures we are right? its a holiday/break time and we still work our asses off. Sigh~ Gotta leave the break till after the final exams in july then.

And my bestie finally got his GF now~ shooooooo happie for him. But then, doesnt that mean that among the friends in school, im like the only left being single? thats gonna suck if they all go out together and everybody is having a fun time sharing how sweet they can be. Oh well, gotta bring a teddy bear and pretend the teddy loves me so much that it stick super glue on me and i cant get it off~ XD Haha, its just fun to see when friends are progressing in their lives. Me? I'll work hard to not get left behind. So, about time I got back to those journals~ Chiaoz...

Today, there was a sudden feeling of emptiness

I didnt know why, today didnt really go well for me... Luckily, my mood was well enough to give that boost to my eq. Cindy was unhappy at me again and it was really hard for me to initiate the conversation. Must've been the disagreement on twitter on saturday. I don't normally get into a cold war situation with people, and i really try to avoid it, but sometimes... its not ur call. Oh well, that was just 1 part of it. Okay, uni was really as usual, then suddenly minghui brought her bf along, and shengyuan was talking to em, since we all know each other from TARC. Then I realized the feeling of "it" all over again. "it" started during highschool days, where people were having their own groups and were talking among each other. Normally I had work, so I would be going on with my work 1st(i had priorities). Then when I was done, I would walk to a group and started joining the fun. "it" feeling was when I walk around and realize that I cannot mix with any of them. The feeling of being left out, being oblivious to people, like somehow I lost the significance in life. Those were the times when I started to look for more work to do, or just do something plain annoying to get attention. I was always the attention seeker. I liked being in the spotlight but I always tried hiding the proudness of it. Thats why I always seemed helpful. It was just the chance I was looking for, a chance to look at how friendly people can get when they needed help, even just for a moment. And then the sincere appreciation from them is really the kind of warmth im looking for. Sadly, sometimes that just wont be the case anymore. When people start getting used to u helping them, that would become ur chore. Its not like I dont want to help them, but I would start thinking "If he/she dont start learning now, am I gonna be here all the time? If im not, what will happen to them?". It never leaves that stage thou, I may like to speak but I can hold my words. And now it comes back to me, feeling empty because I seem only existent when I'm useful. I dont know how and why this got to me, but then I start sending my frustration to twitter and there are still nice people like elysia, fiona and evelyn who decides that gabriel is worth the consoling~ and right here right now I really feel happy that I decided to click the follow button on their twitter~

Thank you again girlfriends~ ur da best~~

Bragging

I like to brag, its a way for me to re-assure myself of the value of my existence. But somehow I find it getting harder now. It was different when I was in college, they brag everyday, jokingly. Although we all know things we brag about are somewhat true in one way or another, we all take it as a joke and be happy for each other. Back in my secondaries, classmates never take my brags too serious, it was just a cue for them to mock me and i'd be playing around with them too... Nowadays its just not easy. Whenever I feel like bragging, I always have to watch out for certain people. They take it seriously, with the kind of "so-what?" attitude... Its always a pain for me when people start taking things seriously. To me, words have an impact, but dont let it in too far, nor shut it all away from urself. I do not like to piss people off, so I just stop what I'd prefer to do just for the sake of keeping the relationships good - well, at this moment right now im just trying my best not to piss one particular person off. So I'm back here, the one place where little people know much of, and i'm pretty sure they wont mind me bragging anyways. because if they do, they wont be here~ yes, thats how much i know my actual viewers.

Back to my bragging, bought the "Hunger Games" trilogy for 70 bucks yesterday. Was a good buy considering the single ones sell at 40. Then, my home internet went down because of the thunder and there I was, stranded with my new phone and a new book. I went for the book. And now, 24 hours later, I'm done with the 1st book and moving on with the 2nd. I didn't even use speed reading. If I did, I think I could finish all 3 books within a day if I stress the sleep. But thats not my style. I read books for leisure, and the way I read now has already caused certain amount of stress to me and im feeling a bit tired after that minor headache just now. In the meantime, I'll just slowly take the pace as if i couldnt care less~

Another nice thing was that I finally got my galaxy s2~ its a nice phone for me, my 1st ever touchscreen phone. Feeling enthusiastic about it on the 1st day, I didnt even really touched my notebook~ And to those who actually seen me with my notebook, they know it meant a lot. Anyways im still getting used to it while testing its new features. Not much to talk about there yet. I'll save that for next time. For now, its me with me bragging about my speed for reading novels that i like~

Sometimes I get fed up

Sometimes I get fed up when people take me for granted
Sometimes I get fed up when I take the blame
Sometimes I get fed up when I get ignored
Sometimes I get fed up when people get mad at me for no reason
Sometimes I get fed up when people don't understand
Sometimes I get fed up of being helpful
Sometimes I get fed up of being the one who shoulders the burden
Sometimes I get fed up of selfish people

Well, look on the bright side gabby,

Other times people come to your aid without you asking
Other times people shoulder your responsibility for you
Other times you're the one blaming others
Other times you're the one being selfish
Other times you're the one ignoring people
Other times you're the one venting your frustration on innocent peoples
Other times you're the one who doesn't understand

Its a cycle. To all those viewers out there, remember... karma will always get you back, it's just a matter of time.