Diana Ross - Shockwaves (EMI)

It's rather difficult to imagine that some 20 years ago Diana Ross (with The Supremes) was making some of the most fearsomely dazzling ditties the world has ever cocked an ear to. Sadly, her recent stuff hasn't been much cop and while this does have a thumping beat, a saxophone solo and Di sounding like she's just run up two flights of stairs, it still sounds a bit jaded and will no doubt end up being used in a "wacky" TV commercial for the hair gel of the same name. Oh dear. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

Pet Shop Boys - Rent (Parlophone)

You can always rely on the Pet Shop Boys to write a good tune - even though half the time they (the tunes) vaguely sound as though they once belonged to someone else. This moody slice of tragi-disco with its swirly trumpets and ping-pong-y Kraftwerk type bits is possibly even more lump-in-throat making than the wondrous "It's A Sin". The LP version is possible more dark and brooding, and this has a weedy voice-over by Neil at the beginning, but this is more than made up for by a chorus of "I love you - you pay my rent". I still think they look a bit silly in all that squeaky rubber and leather they've been wearing lately but this is fabness itself. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

The Cure - Just Like Heaven (Polydor)

Yet another dollop of charmingly tinkly whimsy from Robert Smith, the man who has made a career out of distractedly singing like he's contemplating the cosmos, warbling and putting on his lipstick all at the same time. Like all Cure records it gently transports you away to a dream world where tooth fairies really do exist and lollipops grow on trees - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

The Style Council - Wanted (Polydor)

Old floppy fringe is back! And he's obviously spent his time putting every other Style Council waxing into a giant computer, jumbled them all together, pressed the button and - voila! Out pops this carbon copy of their last x-million singles. There's a bit in the middle that could well be ancient soulsters The lsley Brothers and throughout it all Paul burbles on about how he only wants to be wanted. Well, here's my little bit of advice - if that's what you want then don't make any more snoozy records like this. And get your hair done, for goodness sake. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

Eighth Wonder - When The Phone Stops Ringing (CBS)

I can't believe that Eighth Wonder have had a number one in Italy. Are all Italians mad? Or are they just deaf? Anyway, singer Patsy Kensit warbles an instantly forgettable tune as though she's holding a lolly in one hand and her teddy in the other and there are yet more puff pastries "tra-la-laaing" in the background. And, why, you ask yourself, does she pretend she hangs out in downtown New York and use American slang like "Momma" when she really comes from Surrey? This girl's a bit of a fraud and no mistake. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

George Michael - Faith (Epic)

Gosh! This kicks off brilliantly in a Songs Of Praise kind of fashion with ominous swirling church organs giving the idea that George might be back to his brilliant best, but then - alas! - it plummets rapidly into a squiffy Country and Western style jaunt with jangly guitars by the dozen. And all the while there's Georgie rasping and wheezing, Bee Gees style, about sexy bodies and other pervy nonsense. I think George Michael has got far too smutty of late and I really don't like it one little bit. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

Pseudo Echo - Living In A Dream (RCA)

Who, of sane mind, could ever forgive Pseudo Echo for a) having such a stupid name, b) brutally murdering that wonderful Lipps Inc. classic "Funky Town" and c) being responsible for this mundane electro-drone about walls falling all over them(!)? Not me anyway. (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

Black - Wonderful Life (A&M)

Aaaaaah (satisfied sigh). This is a wonderful record - sentimental without being slushy, and the most enjoyable song to whistle along to this fortnight. In fact Black have released quite a few wonderful records, it's just that until "Sweetest Smile", none of them were hits. This is a re-release of one of those earlier songs, and it's possibly even more poignant and swoonful than "Sweetest Smile" (though the one before that, the Bowie-esque "Everything's Coming Up Roses" was even better). It's heartening to see someone who a) isn't particularly handsome, b) has a spook-name (i.e. Colin Vearncombe), c) has no discernible "image" and d) writes slightly odd lyrics, get into the charts purely on the strength of their music, which in this case is very strong indeed. (Vici McDonald, Smash Hits, August 12, 1987)

Pet Shop Boys - What Have I Done To Deserve This? (Parlophone)

The brilliant thing about the Pet Shop Boys is that they get is everything right - memorable tunes, perfect production, intelligent lyrics, excellent sleeves, loads of style and a self-deprecating sense of humour - a very rare combination. So, having decided to do a duet with a soulful chicklet, they've naturally got the best - '60s songstress and living legend Dusty Springfield. Her voice is still as thrilling as it was in her "prime"; if there were any justice in the world, a mere trill of it would be enough to make the likes of Whitney Houston crawl into a hole and weep with shame. This isn't their absolutely best-ever song, though; that has to be "Paninaro", the most perfect synth-pop thing ever invented. (Vici McDonald, Smash Hits, August 12, 1987)

Echo And The Bunnymen - Lips Like Sugar (WEA)

Let's see now, we've had some sugar mice from Marillion and now the Bunnies are blowing some 'sugar kisses' our way. My, aren't we all in a soppy mood this week! This is a pleasantly soppy, girly love song, full of sugar'n'spice and all things nice, and for once there's less of the ol' whining from Mac. (Debbi Voller, No 1, July 25, 1987)

George Michael - Father Figure (Epic)

'I will be your father figure, I have had enough of crying, I will be the one who loves you till the end of time. . .' Once again, George unveils a blinding talent for wonderful sentiment and swoony lovesome lyrics, all elegantly swathed in pristine "epic" production and the usual echoey voice-oice which trails-ails off almost every note-ote...It's in a similar "vein" (though not nearly as good) as "A Different Corner", it's perfect Radio Two fodder, and it will doubtless be a top ten hit. It is also hugely unexciting. (Sue Dando, Smash Hits, December 30, 1987)

Orchestral Manoeuvers In The Dark - Shame (Virgin)

Most of OMD's songs, unfortunately, sound like Andy McCluskey and Paul Humphreys have fallen asleep behind their synthesisers during the recording. This bounds along quite chirpily at the beginning but then it trails off into the usual oblivion half way through. Maybe it's something to do with Andy's dreadful dancing. (Ro Newton, Smash Hits, March 25, 1987)

Black - Sweetest Smile (A&M)

Isn't that Prince's favourite colour? Or was that last week? Either way, this is delicious. Really moody and dramatic, from the latest band to emerge from Liverpool. File under classics. (David Martin, No1, July 4, 1987)

Mel & Kim - FLM (Supreme)

A Shalamar beat that bears straight down on the floorboards, a crisply cynical lyric and Mel & Kim give a cheery British retort to Madonna's "Material Girl". Mel & Kim maybe aren't serious money, but they are most certainly smart money. And despite the fun and love and sensuous crooning, the accent is firmly on dosh! This is the sound of a thousand Access and American Express cards showin' out in a thousand Thatcherite suburbs. It hurts to have to tell you that this and the haircut (Swing Out Sister) below really are the best of the week. (Pete Paisley, Record Mirror, July 4, 1987)

Phil Wilson - 10 Miles (Creation)

A real Spanish Lolita of a song that beats its eyelashes cruelly and then gallops over you. Boils over a bit, but when the ingredients settle down there's a decent Morrissey song waiting for its flavour to be drawn out. It's the usual Creation syndrome: a young man blabbing into his leather strides. But the tears certainly bring the sheen up something lovely. (Pete Paisley, Record Mirror, July 4, 1987)

Level 42 - It's Over (Polydor)

Once we've got past the positively asthmatic opening keyboard line, the Levellers deliver a powerfully sensitive song that makes up for some fairly corny lyrics with its atmosphere and, for once, restraint. Who cares if it's not the hippest single this week? It's an accomplished record that I'd play in my Cortina (if I had one) on the way to a cosy Epping Forest nook, late on Saturday night. (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, September 5, 1987)

Kinda mellow and middle-America ie. benign ol' grandad out on the front porch serenading coyotes with trusty old harmonica and geetar. Don't quite know how Mark King and his varmints fit into this pleasing scenario but no doubt some black-and-white film and a well placed cactus will do the trick, (Paul Simper, No 1, September 5, 1987)

Fleetwood Mac - Little Lies (WEA)

I can never hear the words 'Fleetwood Mac' without thinking of Stevie Nicks flinging her skirts around her ankles in their horrible little videos, as well as a particularly gruesome tale someone once told me about Nicks which is far too disgusting to repeat here. This is more of their cunningly addictive, sugar-sweet MOR that, in comparison to today's pretty, sophisticated, sterile, CD pop bands, sounds positively rebellious. Lindsey Buckingham to join Danny Wilson, anyone? (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, September 12, 1987)

Balaam and The Angel - The Things You Do To Me (Virgin)

It looks like this lot are on the slippery slope to becoming a one man band; the Lance Percival lookalike is completely obscured on the cover by an overpowering logo leaving the 'sexy' one to take the stardom. No such star quality on vinyl however with this sub-Mission style dirge. (Ian Dickson, Record Mirror, October 10, 1987)

Five Star - Strong As Steel (RCA)

Having fought off the gum diseases induced by the Crunchie [British chocolate bar] frenzy on the last tour, those bad ass muthers Five Star are back with a Wacko Jacko style ballad. And just like Wacko singing (and lying) about how 'Bad' he is, squeaky clean Five Star's smouldering lurve song is just as laughable; a bit like the Pope rapping along to 'She's On It'. (Ian Dickson, Record Mirror, October 10, 1987)

Now here's a funny thing. This sounds exactly like Five Star pop discs always do but also uncannily like "Man In The Mirror" from Michael Jackson's Bad LP - except it's not quite as good - which proves, as they can't possibly have copied it, that the Pearson family are plugged into the same cosmic bio-rhythms as their idol Wacko Jacko. Quintuple spook! Whatever next, viewers? Perhaps Doris and Stedman and the rest will start having plastic surgery to look like Michael and then they'll buy a chimp and maybe a snake and, heavens, where will it all end? (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, October 7, 1987)

The Write Stuff: While the A side was written by famous songwriter for hire Diane Warren, the B side "The Man" featured the vocals of one Buster Pearson, Five Star's manager (and father, of course).

Samantha Fox - I Promise You (Get Ready) (Jive)

Saucy little number from bubbly blonde Sammy (aged 12), who by now must be pin up for both father and daughter alike. All those pleas of 'I want to be recognised as a serious musician' are beginning to fall on some very deaf ears, and quite right too; how many changes has the effervescent Sam wasted on trying to prove a point? Fact is, better artistes than Sammy go down the bog every day because they don't get a second chance. Life's not fair. (Ian Dickson, Record Mirror, October 10, 1987)