The Smiths - Shakespeare's Sister (Rough Trade)

I carefully removed the Pat Phoenix cover, placed the shiny platter onto the turntable, and then walked to my chair. By the time I'd reached it, 129 seconds later, the record had finished. "Shakespeare's Sister" finds our lads in boisterous mood wth young Marr jangling on the guitar as if his life depended on it. 'Shakespeare's Sister' was a Virginia Woolf essay on what would have happened if the great Bard had been a Bardess, blah blah, different way of looking at women, etc, etc. Her essay lasted longer than 129 seconds, though. (Paul Bursche, No 1, March 23, 1985)

Ooooh, shut up! Stop moaning. Don't they go on? Morrissey does not sing, he groans. He should have been drowned at birth. Rubbish. (Marshall O'Leary, Smash Hits, March 14, 1985)

IF MEAT is murder, "Shakespeare's Sister" is death by strangulation. A bruising, unfocused rush that mistakes energy for Eater live in Stockport cemetery. One wonders if such an ill conceived move would have been considered by a record company less enamoured of their one major act. A dumb record and a poor way to end such a fine singles run. (Jim Reid, Record Mirror, March 23, 1985)

The Smiths - Hand In Glove (Rough Trade)

The ridiculously pretentious press release could be enough to put you off The Smiths for life but this record is a dense and lyrical delight. Gorgeous guitar and emotive vocals make this an unusual release that's worth seeking out. (Karen Swayne, No 1, May 28, 1983)

The Smiths are even better at spouting spurious nonsense than the stuff you'll find on the back of Respond Records. 'The group attacks the depersonalised sterility of 'modern' groups whose clinical synthesised rhythms have left audiences feeling non-human and petrified'. I don't know about that, but I do know that the Smiths aren't very crisp. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, June 18, 1983)

The Smiths - This Charming Man (Rough Trade)

This should have seen them move from 'one to watch out for' to 'this week's thing' but the gorgeous melody and unusual. sensitive lyrics are all but shot down in flames by a horribly ham-fisted production job. One day. (Mark Steels, Smash Hits, November 10, 1983)

Raw but gentle rock that pulsates yet gets slowed down by the clear and haunting melody in Johnny Marr's unique voice. It has that slight off-key quality that makes Siouxsie's voice so brilliant. A strong single with a style unto itself. (Debbi Voller, No 1, October 29, 1983)

Morrissey is the man of the moment, a handsome devil,with his finger in other people's pies and a lyrical twist ejaculating unforgettable one liners in a sensual celebration. He is touched and touching - a beautiful pivot for the pure pop jangle of Johnny Marr's trembling strings and the plop 'n crash of those other rigorous Smiths - a winner, a grinner. (Graham K Smith, Record Mirror, November 5, 1983)

The Smiths - The Boy With The Thorn In His Side (Rough Trade)

Morrissey desperately tries to divert our attention from this weedy, half-cocked song (which is apparently the original 'demo' recording) by doing a horrible impersonation of Frank Ilfield (useless '60s yodelling pop star)! Their weakest single, and definitely time for a change of tack. (Steve Bush, Smash Hits, September 11, 1985)

Call me predictable, call me boring, call me sentimental - I don't care. The worries of the world float away as the new single from the ever lovable Smiths arrives on my desk. Still on Rough Trade, still adorning the covers with Morrissey's heroes (Truman Capote looking like Ernie Wise this time), and still making the most perfect pop music ever created. A light 'Williamesque' backing has Morrissey trilling and warbling his exquisite way around Johnny Marr's simple melodies. After the slip that "Shakespear's Sister" proved to be and the questionable decision to release "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" - probably the only track on Meat Is Murder that shouldn't have been a single - the group brush off the dust from a thousand gleeful cries of 'has-beens' and resume normal service. Single Of The Week, obviously. (Eleanor Levy, Record Mirror, September 21, 1985)

The Smiths - Panic (Rough Trade)

I'm sorry to say but I find them very depressing. The lead singer's voice sounds like he's in pain - is that Morrissey? It says in the song 'Hang the DJ' - but where would they be without them? If you don't like DJs, you still like them because they play your records and that's what sells records. I don't think they'd like to hang Janice Long or John Peel, would they? I wouldn't play it though - he can't sing and it gives me a headache. In all his interviews he's Mister Nasty too and goes moan moan moan. (Samantha Fox, Smash Hits, July 16, 1986)

Well, bless me, if this isn't the least bit surprising. Neat, concise and somewhat slight, it's neither a let down, nor a leg up from The Queen Is Dead. "Panic" lollops along undemandingly, while Morrissey's rarefied larynx tours provincial Britain, and concludes that the state's in a state, and we should 'Hang the DJ'. Fine sentiments, of course. Lynch the Queen, the headmaster and the DJ, and life will just be one big picnic by the side of Grasmere, Stephen. With all those sliding Marr riffs, and the singalong refrain, this is in fact disturbingly reminiscent of a decent Slade single. But people got bored with them, too. (Roger Morton, Record Mirror, July 26, 1986)

As seen on Eurotube recently, "Panic" is two minutes and 19 seconds of verbal abuse directed at the more faceless of today's popstars.
'Hang the deejay' intones Morrissey, 'because the music that they play says nothing to me about my life'. Which begs the question, does it have to?
All the same, "Panic" is infuriatingly contagious and assuming that at least some DJs remain alive we should be hearing it a lot more over the next few weeks. 3/5 (Dave Ling, No 1, July 26, 1986)