PORNOGRIND MONDAY: Clitgore / Necrovile

Much to the delight of at least one die-hard pornogrind maniac/TZEEEAC minion who's been really distressed about its disappearance, Pornogrind Monday is finally back, after two weeks of absence. The disturbing lack of bands that sing about being raped by animals on this blog has one simple explanation: I keep forgetting it's Monday because I'm an idiot.

Anyway, this week's Pornogrind Monday is super special, because it features not one, but two sweet Romanian bands. Granted, they both share half the members or so, but, in the words of Eddie Izzard, THAT DON'T MATTER, I SAY AGAIN - YOU FUCK MY WIFE?

First up, Clitgore is a pornogrind/goregrind band started in 2007 by Necrovile's bloody nurse and bassist, Ela. She actually set out to create the pornogrind version of Spice Girls, which would have been fucking awesome - imagine, an all-girl pornogrind band! Unfortunately, she wasn't able to find a full roster of girls who could play instruments AND be willing to sing about violent sex, so Clitgore ended up with a bunch of boys manning the instruments and vocals. That's still cool, though, because they're one of the funnest bands I've had the pleasure of seeing. I've attended two of their live shows and both times I had a gay old time as I was dancing like a maniac to the groovy beats of songs like In the Forest of Big Boobs or Anal Party. As far as I know, they're currently working on their first full-length album, but no further details are available.

Necrovile, on the other hand, is I guess the main project of these guys. They play straight-up brutal death metal and they have released a studio album called The Pungency of Carnage waaaaaaaaaay back in 2009. No real surprises here, it's just well executed death metal in the vein of Cannibal Corpse, complete with horror movie samples, as a nod to Impetigo, which I'm sure they're huge fans of. I've also seen Necrovile twice - the transition from Clitgore to Necrovile involved unplugging the mp3 player that had the programmed drum tracks and bringing in a real drummer - and I had a blast, even though the second time I was wasted from the Clitgore set so I had to sit down pretty much the whole time Necrovile played. LOL.

Well, that's it. Hope you give these guys a spin and catch them live if you have the chance, it'll be FUN. Catch you on the flippity-flop!

Pornogrind Monday: Lividity - Used, Abused and Left for Dead (2006)

I believe these guys were at one time rumored to throw cheap porno DVDs at the crowd during their shows. Sounds legit. Anyway, Lividity hail from Illinois and play sickening pornogrind that will churn your stomach. Enjoy your Pornogrind Monday, everyone! I'm going back in the pit.

Pornogrind Monday: Torsofuck

I was visiting in Africa two months ago

My goal was to see all those wild animals

Most excited I was when I came close to elephants

They were so big and somehow so scary

Something happened when I snapped a picture

Three elephants surrounded me

One of them ripped off all my clothes

Second elephant came on me and started to spread my buttocks

With its huge trunk

I screamed in agony when I felt it started to shove up my ass

Third elephant forced me to take its giant cock in my mouth

I sucked like a whore while I was assfucked by elephant trunk

After all it wasnt too bad at all

It took only about ten minutes and cock in my mouth started to cum

Extremely huge load of elephant sperm filled my throat and

Spurted allover my face

I was completely fucked up, but elephants had one more thing to do

All three of them huffed and puffed shits on me

Then they left me alone with my ripped asshole

I'll never go to Africa again.

http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Torsofuck/7390

Pornogrind Monday - Cock and Ball Torture

Hello, it's me again, Marco, and I'm here to tell you about my favorite band in the whole wide world, The Beatles Cock and Ball Torture. This German band is, along with their compatriots Gut, who I've talked about during the last installment of Pornogrind Monday, one of the forerunners of this metal genre I enjoy so much. Everything I like, Cock and Ball Torture offer in copious amounts: grinding guitars that chug along at a moderate pace; happy Oompa-Loompa drumming that makes me wanna dance on my bed; pitchshifted vomit vocals that sound like a septic tank being drained and awesome, clever song titles like Big Tit Slappers, Panda Penis, Enema Bulldozer, Anal Sex Terror, Faggot Filter or, my favorite, Where Girls Learn to Piss on Command.

Another great thing about this band is that most of the songs you can find on YouTube are set to old-timey videos of people dancing to swing music, which I think is hilarious. Here's what I mean, it's a fan video for the song Heterosexual Testosterone Compressor:

So yeah, go check out Cock and Ball Torture if you haven't and drop me a line, let me know what you think. See you on next week's Pornogrind Monday!

Pornogrind Monday: Ultimo Mondo Cannibale

I spent the whole Easter day doing nothing but eating, drinking and watching the second season of Parks and Recreation (Rashida Jones is a total babe, by the way), so thank the heavens today is Pornogrind Monday, so I can chill some more by listening to some groovy Italian pornogrind band with pitch-shifted vomit vocals in the vein of Rompeprop and Gut.

Ultimo Mondo Cannibale, ladies and gents!

Pornogrind Monday: Spasm

Word up, motherfuckers? Pornogrind Monday is back with its second feature, Czech grinders Spasm. BOOM!

They don't actually describe their music as pornogrind, instead saying they play drum'n'bass gigolo goregrind. But hey, they use a lot of sexual imagery and lyrics, so I think they're a great fit for our weekly gross-out. Spasm have been around for more than 10 years now and in that time have released one demo and three studio albums, the latest one coming out in the summer 2011. Musically, they stay on the tried-and-true path of disgusting, simplistic goregrind, complete with pig squeals, vomit vocals and groovy drumming. Their live shows seem pretty fun as well, as you can see in the video below, as long as you don't mind their eccentric image and the skimpy Borat attire.

Have a great Monday, everyone!

Pornogrind Monday

I don't really plan on making Pornogrind Monday a regular feature, it's just that today happens to be Monday and I'm too tired from wrestling PHP code all day to be able to come up with any sort of meaningful content. I really don't feel like babbling on about some tech death album after nearly exploding with rage like in that Courage the Cowardly Dog episode, so I guess I'll just take the easy way out and post some awful music I found the other day. I don't wanna go into a long-winded rant about this microgenre because I really don't care enough, but I feel pornogrind is a lot like pretty much any other music out there: some of it is shit, some of it is great, and a whole lot of it is mediocre and forgettable. You don't have to like it, but if you spend countless hours leaving angry comments about it on youtube, you're a loser. At least these guys are having a blast, going out, meeting people and doing what they love.

So anyway, Urtikaria Anal is a Mexican pornogrind band that I happened upon while I was searching the web for something school related. I get easily sidetracked. There's not a whole lot of info available on the band, except that they have a 2008 album called Divine Depravation and they play songs with names like Sifilis, Deformed Penis and Elektro Orgasmo. Still, this is some pretty groovy shit, especially as far as the drumming goes, so I feel vindicated in wasting 6 minutes of my life watching the video below.

Check out the singer's sweet moves starting at 0:15.

Penis Force Commando

Postul ăsta băşit este doar ca să semnalez faptul că există o trupă de pornogrind care se cheamă Penis Force Commando, ai cărei membri se autointitulează 6-Speed Coitus Dildo Transformer (chitară, bass), respectiv Vacuum Fetish Legioner (voce, tobe). Au şi un demo de o piesă, pe care îl găsiţi aici.

Asta-i tot. Bună seara.