Bossy Blog 2010 Fitness and Health Challenge: Just think about it.

by Sally

Attention, attention:

In less than a week, it will be 2010. The year's name alone (2010!) boggles the mind and it seems that we should all be zipping around in personal flight pods with silver jumpsuits and perfect bodies.

Hmm. Maybe we will all be driving these by the end of next year?

Well, I do have the silver jumpsuit, but my body isn't perfect. And I want to feel more fit and healthy. So I am asking you to join me in a challenge to set goals to improve your health and fitness for the coming year.

You don't have to commit now, but think about it. You can set a goal to start walking for fitness, get more sleep every night, eat more healthy food, start a running group, learn yoga, stop a bad habit (too much Diet Coke!), or run a half-marathon--whatever you want to do to improve your health and fitness. On or around New Year's Day, I will post a little more info and invite anyone who is up for it to comment with their personal fitness/health goals for 2010. We will encourage each other with monthly check-ins and lots of support and positive feedback! I hope you will join me.

We can be exercise buddies.

Some ideas to get you thinking:

WebMD recommends 5 healthy eating habits for 2010

Benefits of adding fruits and veggies to your meals

Get walking for fitness with this 12 week training program!

If you can walk, you can run!

Couch to 5K

Beginner's Running Program

Top 10 Questions asked by new runners

A "My Turn" essay written by a self-proclaimed "fat runner"

Think about your own health goals for 2010 and share them with us next week!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to our wonderful readers, from the Bossy Sisters.

Please enjoy this beautiful video, especially appropriate for little ones.

Texting saved my marriage. Or, procrastination.

by Emily


We started texting with some regularity about a year ago. It didn't really "save" my marriage, but that sure caught your attention, didn't it? Sorry if you feel misled.

If you don't text, let me give you a few reasons why you should try:

• It can add some spice to your love life: it's a great way to deliver a love note. I would recommend this to newlyweds and experienced partners alike. Texting by nature is short, so you don't feel obligated or pressured to come up with a lot to say, just a simple love phrase goes a long ways. And if you're busy, it isn't demanding--you can text your wife in the middle of that meeting "Thinking of you...(or your hot legs)", or your husband in the middle of that piano lesson "you're my hunka hunka man" or maybe it's a simple, "I love you" or "Thanks for..."
  
• Besides your love life, what about your loving relationships with others? If you have kids with cell phones, you can text them "I love you's" and "I'm proud of you's" and "CTR's" as much as you want--they will read it. They have to read a text, it is like an all powerful force in their lives. They can't resist the ring of a text.
  
• Meeting up. If you're meeting someone at a crowded event (football game, concert arena, church?) you can text your location "second row, left." This is good if you're in a loud environment and talking is difficult, or you're in a quiet environment (like church, movie theater).
  
• Grocery lists. No more excuses when your spouse or teenager is running to the store: "don't forget: milk, butter, and grapefruit...and diapers" no excuses, no excuses...you'd hate to have to go back for the diapers.
  
• Change in schedule. This happens to us (me and my husband) where one of us will be in an irregular meeting of sorts (doctor's appointment, etc.) and the other is in charge of x, y, or z, which he or she is not usually in charge of. For example, "your turn to feed the meter" (when we park on campus, and we're both in class), or "don't forget to pick up the kids at 4." It's a friendly reminder.
  
• "Remind me to tell you about..." what Roo said this morning...or, that past due bill...or, the Walmart Wacko. You know, these are the things you think of telling someone during the day, but it just isn't the right time for a phone call. You can text a prelude to your conversation instead.
• Avoid sounding like a nagging naggy nag: You can text from one room in the house to another. Some of you might think this is ridiculous, but it is not. It saves you from nagging loudly at the top of your lungs (not pretty, and usually ineffective), and the message is clearly received. Consider doing this the next time you need your teenager's help. Or, how about when your spouse is glued to the computer/tv and you want to invite him/her to join you in something, without having to sound like a nagging pest?
• Apologies. Avoid insincerity. This is only to be reserved for those rare occasions when things go wrong, you can't apologize in person, and therefore a text is the next best option. It also helps to pave the way for a genuine apologetic follow-up phone call. A plea, so to speak. Humor helps too. "I'm really sorry, I was a stinky poo poo, and I hope you will forgive me. ;-( I love you."
  
• Venting Anger. If you really need to get that message across, you might feel better doing it by text. For example, if your teenager is driving you to the edge, your text might read: "I'm really mad at you." Or, "If I had a gun, I'd hit you with it!" This is sure to get the point across, and will not be easily forgotten. [That's an inside joke for all you Boss-me regulars ;-)] On second thought, this might not be a good idea. Don't text when angry. Take a deep breath, count to ten, maybe walk around to block. Just put the cell phone down and think twice.
  
• Distraction/procrastination. Okay, this is not a virtue of texting. It is a vice. As in, I blog, therefore I procrastinate. I text, therefore I procrastinate. Kinda how I'm procrastinating writing my 20 page paper on Ishiguro's The Remains of the Day and Mary Louise Pratt's Contact Zones theory--by blogging, and by texting my husband who is at school while I write in our basement. But it is worth it, all you bloggers know it is worth it. Beside, texting is no where near the time-suck that blogging is, unless you're 14 years old.
  

That's all I got. What would you add to this list? My marriage is just a little bit better because of texting. Please don't text and drive.

Too much Christmas music?

by Melissa

Maybe. I only say this because I'm beginning to analyze the songs too much. I mean really, if I had been Rudolph's mother, I would have told him that people who only like him once he becomes useful to them are not his true friends. And Frosty? kind of breaking some laws running here and there! (not to mention that whole "catch me if you can" thing. I do enough 2 year old chasing, lets not encourage it!)

I think my favorite, laugh out loud lyric comes from the song Here Comes Santa Claus.... I don't know who was singing it, but when I heard it last night on the radio I laughed hard. The original lyrics are lovely... but this guy added a few extra words here and there...

"Peace on Earth will come to men, if we just sorta follow the light..."

Sorta? Um, again the mom in me comes out. "My homework was sorta late." "I sorta cleaned my room" "I sorta have a job" "I sorta did something nice for someone" "I'm sorta out of money in my bank account".... Sorta just doesn't cut it around here.

I guess I need new Christmas music. I'm taking suggestions please!

The Twilight Years

I saw Twilight on opening day with a bunch of darling women who screamed through the entire show. Sally asked me if it was good. I answered, "The show? or the experience? The experience was great!"

For your viewing pleasure:

Twilight Years from Tom on Vimeo.

Idaho Statesman Obituary

by Emily

My siblings (mostly Robin) with the help of my mom, wrote this lovely obituary of our father. My mother and father were married for 34 years, which the obituary does not specify.

Obituary for David Wright Austin, in the Boise Idaho Statesman newspaper.

Be ready for less funeral, and more fun, shortly to come! We can't stay sad every minute of the day, though we will all have our moments.

Love to you all, love to Dad.

xo

In Memory of our Dad

by Emily

Today we are celebrating the life of our father, David Wright Austin. He passed away last week on Thanksgiving morning. He used to always joke with me that it was Thanksgiving everyday for him because (due to food allergies) he often ate turkey and sweet potatoes. One of the things I like to remember about my dad was his sense of humor, like that recurring Thanksgiving joke.

We loved our Dad, and we will miss him. Here is a video to honor him, we hope you'll join us for a moment and enjoy the video. You can also read beautiful posts by Kristen, Robin (here and here), and Melissa, on their personal blogs.

A slideshow presentation in memory of my father.



David Wright Austin

May 27, 1938 - November 26, 2009

You look fabulous!

by Sally

Well, you really do look fabulous. But if you are like me, you could look even more fabulous.

Although I was voted "Best Dressed" in junior high (yes, it's true), I am not a trendy person. Somehow I now have significantly less time for and interest in clothing than I did when I was 14. I tend to wear the same things over and over again, and I don't accessorize well or keep up with new trends. I don't even think about it, but I do want to look good. I need fashion help!

Enter a blog I recently found: YouLookFab. The title of a recent post was "Autumn Mom on the Go: flop proof outfit #6". Now that is a headline that draws me in! I have no idea what they mean by flop proof, but I can think of some possibilities. Maybe this is an outfit that won't look like:

• I just flopped out of bed
• I am about to flop down on the couch and watch a soap opera in the middle of the day
• My yoga pants and pullover are flopping all over the place

These "flop proof" posts include a specific formula for creating an outfit. A non-flop outfit. I can use this kind of instruction! As I write this, I am wearing flop proof outfit #1. I like it. And I would welcome any other outfit formulas you might have to offer.

Also check here for women I admire who know how to dress: Diane, Jessica, and Paige. If you blog about fashion, post your url in our comments!

If I Had A Gun

By Robin

We all want to be that perfect mom. A tireless, tender, peaceful woman who anticipates every need and quietly stands near with a band-aid, comfort food, and concise soft spoken wisdom.

Once, I fell short of that standard. In a fit of anger-fed passion I said something that has come back to haunt me again and again.

In defense, let me explain my situation. It's hard to believe now, but at one point I was more than overwhelmed with my children. It was about five years ago. I had four noisy demanding children, two of which were headstrong teenagers. There was contention, and confusion, and a measure of defiance. I needed a nanny for each child. I needed a housekeeper. I needed a nap. I needed everyone to do what I told them to do. I was a woman pushed to the edge, so really, I can't be held responsible for what I said (yelled).

A certain child had pushed every button and pushed them too hard. I was furious. Fury isn't a normal part of my personality. I'm not a hitter, a screamer, or a yeller. I will cry instead. Occasionally I will cuss a mild PG-13 word under my breath or rattle some pans in the kitchen. I lean towards self pity and defeat rather than fury and anger but at this moment I was furious. In a moment of regrettable insanity I thought I would kill that boy, so, I yelled, "If I had a gun..." I suddenly went into slow motion mode and realized, as the words were coming out of my mouth, that I wouldn't really kill him. But I had committed to "if I had a gun" and I had to finish it. So I said,

"If I had a gun...I would hit you on the head with it!"

There was a moment of shocked silence. The word "gun" was a big deal and I could see momentary fear on his face. Then as the rest of the threat sank in he started to laugh. It was nervous laughter at first and then it quickly became hilarious. I was a frustrated potential murderer, but knowing the value of being able to laugh at myself, I told the kids I was just kidding and tried to play it off as a joke.

It is a joke. The family joke. When someone gets dramatically angry one of the kids will say, "If I had a gun I'd hit you on the head!" Gabe put it on his MySpace page as his quote. It is a phrase that entertains and amuses the kids and reminds us all of my ineptness at making a decent threat.

It will probably end up on a t-shirt one day.

Good Enough

by Emily

This fall I started school again full time, working on my Master's degree in Literature. I'm doing it for the money.

(read: sarcasm)

There is a lot to talk about here--a lot about the change of pace, and the weird feeling of living a double life. Mostly there is a lot to talk about my constant reflection and reevaluating the situation as it affects our family, most especially our children.

In a "letter" to my sisters on our private forum, I wrote the following:

"So, I'm having one of those weeks, day after day, where I keep thinking "Who am I kidding? I thought I could do this?" It is getting ROUGH.


This time of year is always hectic, and with school now--and all the church activities and services, I have a hard time not feeling a bit...resentful? Like, between Monday and Sunday, I don't have a single "free-day" to catch up on all the stuff that has slipped through the cracks--some of it pretty essential stuff. But then I ask: how I would change it? Would I want to be released from Primary (Primary is Sunday School for children ages 3-11), or quit school, or just never be home and always work super hard up on campus away from all distractions? And I realize I wouldn't change any of those things. I like being in the Primary, school has been really good for me, and most of all, my kids are the most important of all these things to me--and I want to be home with them as much as possible."

I have to get used to doing things so that they are "good enough," and that is new and hard for me.

Joe is doing even more household and parenting things than what he's already used to doing (which is to say, he's always been very active in those areas of our family life). Even so, the floor is often icky, and the clean laundry may not get folded before it is worn and needs washing again, and my 2 & 4 yr olds will keep on running in circles, laughing and whining. My hair might stick up kinda funny, and I'll probably choose the comfortable shoes over the cute ones. But let's be honest--was it much different before I started school? It's not as if I was ever a stellar housekeeper. I do make good food though--when I have time.

So here's my pat on my own back: we keep on making time for family dinner even if it is frozen Bertolli meals (I recommend the ones with shrimp). And if you're lucky you'll still be invited over to our house for that dinner, but the house may be less tidy than before, and the dessert might also come from the freezer (ice cream). And the Sunday School lessons will still be just as every bit delivered from the heart, but the handouts might not have pretty ribbon or glitter glue on them. And the homework gets done, and I'm reading faster everyday.

And still the best part of my day isn't nailing that class presentation or paper, but coming home to my family for our daily dinner, pajama, scripture/prayer, and bed routine. That, and stealing one last glimpse and kiss when my babies are fast asleep.

The replies I got from my Bossy Sisters let me know that 1) they believe in me, 2) they love me, 3) they've been there too (haven't we all?), and 4) they are good listeners.

Here is just a snippet:

"Let the little things go. If that doesn't work, let the mid-size things go. :) "
-Bossy Sister Melissa

"You have taken on a serious challenge and you are rising to meet the demands. You can do this! I think you will always be glad you did it."
-Bossy Sister Sally

"I understand completely. It is really hard but you can do hard things. I love you. Hang in there. You are amazing."
-Bossy Sister Robin


And finally, the one that made me laugh the most:

"Well, you took a pretty big bite. I wouldn't be surprised if you have to chew with your mouth open and a few little crumbs fall out."
-Bossy but Wise (and funny) Robin



Is there anything in your life that you're willing to admit to doing just "good enough"? What secret tricks of the trade can you share with me? (I need them!)

Trusting Teenagers

You know when your teenager is going on about how you never let them do anything? And you are trying to remind them that just a few days ago they were at their girlfriend's house for a movie party and that this weekend they had 5 friends over for a halo party. And then they say, "Mom, nothing's going to happen, you can trust me on that. Don't you trust me?"


Well, this is my response to that now, "Honey, I trust you so much that I asked you to cut my hair. I handed you scissors and put my golden mane in your steady hands. Of course I trust you!"

Of course, when I did this, one of my teenagers didn't trust himself. He backed away and said, "No way! I'm not cutting your hair. What if I mess up?"

The other teenager? He happily took the scissors and went to town. Here is the happy result:

How much do you trust your teenagers?

How do you like them apples?

Have you ever been asked what one food you would want if you could only choose one thing to eat for the rest of your life? I think I'd choose apples. (or bread, or potatoes... or rice, or chocolate... or cake. Donuts maybe...)(Don't pay attention to the obvious absence of veggies.)

I love apples. This time of year I refuse to buy them from the store. We have an apple orchard down the road and I love the crisp fall air, riding on a wagon pulled by a cool tractor, branches heavy with apples, watching my kids eat apples the size of their faces.... We often pick more than I think we'll be able to eat and in a few days I realize they are gone and I haven't made apple pie or applesauce-- we've just munched them nice and juicy!

These are last years orchard pics, The camera hasn't made it on any trips this year... Don't they all look young!

This caramel dip is PERFECT. You should make it and slice up an apple and enjoy. Better yet, slice it up, then smother it with caramel and sprinkle nuts and mini- chocolate chips on it. Heaven! (It does work for dipping whole apples in, but I have found kids just eat the caramel and waste the apple... plus, you enjoy a lot more caramel when the apple is sliced!)

1 cup butter
2 cups brown sugar
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup light karo syrup
10 big marshmallows

Cook first 4 ingredients over medium heat. Stir constantly, Use candy thermometer and cook till it reads 232* Stir in 10 big marshmallows till they've melted. Dip apples!

Favorite thing of the week

My favorite thing this week is when the weather gets cool and stormy in the middle of summer. I love it. It's a reminder of the importance of opposition in all things. (which was also the topic of this week's Sunday School lesson, it was a good one.)

Robin has a cabin in Idaho. It's a little glimpse of heaven to be there, and in the heat of the summer, there are frequently late-afternoon storms. They are dramatic and impressive and then they clear up. The only drawback is running all over the yard to pick up towels, cast-off clothing and shoes, before the rain starts to pour. But when you are sitting on the covered porch, looking out across the river at Charter Mountain, and the storm is showing off it's best moves, it's awesome.

Another related favorite thing is the smell of rain when it first hits the pavement. I guess technically it's probably the smell of the dust and the pavement, whatever it is, it takes me back to my childhood and I am grateful for it.

I hope you are all having a great summer!

The "BOSSY" sisters only have one BROTHER...

...and today is his BIRTHDAY!

Find out just a few reasons why we love David here, here and here.

Happy Birthday David!

You look so handsome in these photos, I just had to share them with the world. Heh, heh. We love you and wish we could all be celebrating with you today!

(David has always had to share his birthday on the 4th of July and endure flag themed birthday cakes. And fireworks.)

Night of the Living Giant Zucchini Zombies!

By Emily

We have giant Zucchini in our garden this year (this is not a photo of our garden...our garden is much more...chaotic). It is HUGE. And, this summer we are being lazy gardeners, so it will probably continue to grow until we decide we're not too lazy to pick it.

So tonight we are eating this Stuffed Zucchini recipe found here.

Basically you slice it lengthwise, steam it in a pan with an inch of water (try 400 F for about 15 minutes or more while you prepare the rest of the stuffing). Scoop out the inside and set aside.

Fry some ground meat or tofu, saute veggies of your choice. (I went with onion, red bell pepper, garlic--I had it on hand. Mushrooms or celery would be nice too, maybe some tomatoes).

Season to your liking (tonight I went with salt and curry and cayenne pepper for a touch of heat).

Mix meat and veggies together with a grain (leftover rice, couscous, quinoa, etc.), and stuff zucchini. Top with your choice (buttery bread crumbs? I went with Parmesan cheese.)

Bake for 10 min or so at 350 F.

Recap:
-Steam zucchini
-Cook meat, season with spices & salt
-Saute veggies
-Mix together with a grain (optional)
-Bake it all together for 10 min.

Not bad!

Happy Father's Day!

by Emily

Dedicated to Dads: we love you and appreciate you. Maybe your story isn't like this, but you're needed in your own unique way. Here's to you, the way you continue to give and love year after year. We love you.

by Kristen

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when all the world is green?

Do you get up early, and work like a bee, and post on the blog, Bossy!?

Is that what you do? Neither do we!

All kidding aside, if Hallmark is right, and it is the thought that counts, we are golden here! But, if it is action that matters... well, we are falling short.

As Bossy! sisters, we have been talking about how often to post in the summer time, because the rest of the song is a lot more accurate. We are busy swimming in pools, swinging on swings, drinking lemonades, and watching clouds drift by. And we think that's what you ought to do too.

So take some time off the computer and enjoy summer. We will be blogging, probably once a week, but we are still working out the details, so don't forget us. In the meantime, sing this little song to yourself or with your kids while you enjoy a nice summer day!

"Oh, What Do You Do in the Summertime?" from the Children's Primary Songbook

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when all the world is green?

Do you fish in a stream, or lazily dream on the banks as the clouds go by?

Is that what you do? So do I!

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when all the world is green?

Do you swim in a pool, to keep yourself cool or swing in a tree up high?

Is that what you do? So do I!

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when all the world is green?

Do you march in parades, or drink lemonades or count all the stars in the sky?

Is that what you do? So do I!

Red, Yellow, Blue or White?

Do you know what "color" you are?

The Color Code introduces the following four personality "Colors," or driving Core Motives:

• RED (Motive: POWER)—These are the power wielders. Power: the ability to move from point A to point B and get things done, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of vision and leadership and generally are responsible, decisive, proactive and assertive. 

• BLUE (Motive: INTIMACY)—These are the do-gooders. Intimacy: connecting, creating quality relationships and having purpose, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of quality and service and are generally loyal, sincere, and thoughtful.

• WHITE (Motive: PEACE)—These are the peacekeepers. Peace: the ability to stay calm and balanced even in the midst of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, and good-listeners.

• YELLOW (Motive: Fun)—These are the fun lovers. Fun: the joy of living life “in the moment”, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of enthusiasm and optimism and are generally charismatic, spontaneous, and sociable.


I took this test years ago... and then again recently, thinking that years of marriage, life's ups and downs and parenting might have changed me-- I certainly feel different!

I had exactly the same scores! That shocked me.

I guess I am yellow, through and through. (With a fair bit of white and blue and not a single ounce of red. anywhere. at all.)

What color are you?

Oh dear, I rushed to find a picture, and this one says click... but clicking doesn't show you the inside. Oops.In true yellow form though, I'm off to go have fun and don't have time to bother fixing this.... hmm, I guess it is accurate! Can't wait to read what personalities our readers have!

Library!

School has been out for 1 week. Sibling rivalry is rampant, the cold cereal and everything resembling chips, candy, or white bread has disappeared (did they eat this much in school?), and we have been to the library two times already.In my hometown, Boise, the library is called the "Library!" the sign actually has an exclamation point. People scoffed at it when it first was named but those who use the library get the exclamation point. The Library! is exciting! It is full of fun things for your kids!You feel smart just driving there!It promises peace and quiet and a temporary break from rivalry! Or at least a quiet ride home from the Library! Its air conditioned! LIBRARY!!!!!

Here are a few tips for maximum Library! enjoyment and success:

• Let your kids check out what they want. Ike has 4 Calvin and Hobbes books. Noah is on an Orson Scott Card jag.
• Allow your kids to check out as many as they want.
• Make your kids carry their own books (they won't check out as many).
• Take advantage of summer reading programs and special events.
  
• Teach your kids how to use the self-checkout. Sure, it takes more time, but why are you rushing home? To make more snacks, yell at the kids to turn off the TV, make lunch, tidy up the house, make another snack?
• If you have teenagers start reading what they read and find recommendations (goodreads.com is nice). There are lots of trashy/creepy/depressing teen books. Preview what they read, work to find a list of books they might be interested in, books that make them feel good after reading them.
  
• The great thing about the library is if you don't like a book, you can return it unread. No pressure to get your money's worth.

But my number one tip is:

Use the online catalog to order the books you want. You simply log on (you might need to set up a password and stuff but it is sooo worth the 5 minutes that takes) and type in the name of the book you are interested in, put a hold on the book, and a day or two later (unless you want the #1 book on the best seller's list this week) you waltz into the library (have them sent to the branch nearest your home) and pick up your books. I often pick up 6 or more books at a time: cookbooks, non-fiction, fiction, how to, DVD's, CD's - you name it. Then, because you are online- they will send you a little reminder email informing you that your book is due and you can renew it ON LINE! so cool! No more late fees!

What books are you reading this summer?

Good for a laugh

by Sally

It's okay to laugh, because they sent the picture in themselves.

Awkward Family Photos

Enjoy. Here are some favorites:

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/?p=26

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/?p=1035

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/?p=960

Brushing Up Against Fame

by Kristen

We've all had them, that moment when you see someone famous, you "brush up against fame", you maybe even have a conversation or a real moment with them. Some people know famous people and know them in their "non-famous" sense.

Well, recently I blogged about learning how to do the Butterfly swim stroke - huge accomplishment for me. And I mentioned Michael Phelps, how we are buds. I thought I should make this clear, as some of you may doubt that I actually know him. We are, actually good friends. He's been busy so we've lost touch, but our hearts are still connected in that rare way that super close friends feel - like velcro, kind of, without the bad ripping noise.

Way back in the day, in 2001, before the 8 gold medals at the Olympics, Mike and I were hanging out at the airport together waiting in Boarding Area B for our Southwest flight. We were watching the television posted nearby and the swimming competition going on. It was the National Championships and we were watching an impressive young man as he swam the Butterfly. Whoo-Hoo, he won! We could hear the announcer and cheers on the t.v. He had just set a world record in the 200 meter butterfly. The man traveling with Mike, who I later came to know was his coach, was talking to him animatedly and critiquing the swimmer. Suddenly it dawned on me, "This kid next to me, is that swimmer on t.v." Of course I congratulated him, and we began a long and deep conversation. We talked about our childhoods - mostly his - and how he would watch his sister swim when he was little, then he began swimming and loved it, and by age 15 he was accepted onto the US Nationals Team. He was very humble about it all. But his coach kept joining the conversation and bragging on him. He finally said, "You just wait...you'll see him win golds in the Olympics". How right he was! Finally it was time to board and we regretfully parted company as there were not enough seats for us to sit next to each other, I felt my heart stretch painfully as I saw him wipe a tear from his eye as his coach pushed him on down the narrow plane aisle, as he whispered "good bye" to me. But I've kept tabs on him through the years, and I suspect he has kept tabs on me too. We just had one of those connections, you know?

So what is your "Brush with Fame"?

Exaggerations are not only accepted, but expected. If you can't exaggerate, feel free to "remember big".

Don't Ask Why

by Sally

As a parent, I am frequently frustrated and puzzled when my children make poor choices. Often, the first instinct I have is to ask (in an angry voice, unfortunately) WHY did you do that? But I realized some time ago that WHY is not always the right question.

For example: "Why are you being mean to your sister?"

Do I truly believe that my child will say "well, Mom, it's because I am bored and I need something stimulating, and if I do this to her she will shout and cry, and that will provide me with some entertainment, plus it will get your attention, too". No. That is the reason why, but asking why doesn't help in that situation.



I recently read a parenting article by Pete Wright that included this topic. Here is an excerpt:


Never ask"WHY?"



When the parent asks a child WHY?, the child learns to create good excuses, shifts blame onto others, views himself or herself as a "victim of circumstances" -- and not does not learn to take responsibility for his or her behavior. Talking about WHY the child misbehaved will not teach the child that he has control over himself, his environment and his future. Talking about WHY will not teach the child to take responsibility for his actions. When you ask a child "Why," it's easy to slip in some guilt - "Why did you do this? You upset me so much. You made me feel terrible." Stay away from guilt.


Before my first child was born, I worked in juvenile training schools. I read a book called Reality Therapy by psychologist William Glasser. This book changed the way I dealt with the kids I worked with and it changed how I viewed my job as a parent. Dr. Glasser wrote:


"Eliminate the word 'why' from your vocabulary in dealing with child behavior. So often, children don't know 'why.' They acted because 'I felt like doing it' and they don't really know why. Never ask 'Why?' Instead, ask 'What did you do?'"


Have the child explain what he or she did. Have him describe his behaviors, starting at the beginning, through the sobs, the tears, and the temper when sobs and tears don't work. Break the incident down into small steps. Do not focus on "why." As a parent, you want to know why. Don't give into your curiosity.


Go over the incident until it is very clear what happened, when, etc.


Your next question is "What are you going to do about it?" What are you going to do about your misbehavior, or your impulses, or your anger so this does not happen again? The third question is: How can we make sure this will not happen again?What checks and balances will you put in place to ensure that it will not happen again? What punishment should we use now? What should we do if this happens again? Will we have a battle about it? If we do, what additional punishment shall we initiate if we have to fight with you about doing this again, and not following through as you said you would?

When the child misbehaves, you can ask questions - but never ask WHY? Ask these questions instead:
What did you do?
What are you going to do about it?
To ensure that this does not happen again, what should we do now?
If this does happen again, despite your good intentions now, how much more severe shall the punishment be next time?

This was excerpted with permission from http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/ltrs/ltr_to_Bobbie.html

Some Kinda Famous Marinade

by Emily

My father-in-law is pretty cool. As far as I'm concerned, he makes the best marinade I've ever had--especially when used on tri-tip steaks. YUM!
(Tri-tip is bigger than a personal sized steak, and you usually slice it against the grain to serve--so a single tri-tip can often serve a few people).

And lucky you, I'm going to share it. Tuck it away for a Father's Day meal this June!

It really is "Some Kinda Famous Marinade".

Makes: 3 to 4 Cups of marinade


Ingredients:
2 C Kikoman soy sauce
1 1/2 C white sugar
2 T minced or crushed ginger (I use the kind in a squeeze tube)
2 T minced or crushed garlic (I use fresh)
2 or 3 green onions chopped into 1 inch pieces
4 ounces beer (to be simmered--alcohol evaporates)
(since I'm a non-drinker, and I'm also a non-planner, I don't usually have beer on hand when I make this recipe--unless I've planned in advance, which we've already been through--I don't plan in advance. I'm not opposed to it (planning or cooking with beer? Ha!), I just don't have it. So I've come up with my own alternative--I take a little yeast, add it to warm water and a Tablespoon of sugar, and then use 4 ounces of that instead...it adds a similar flavor and tenderizing element to the meat)





Directions:
1. Start heating the soy sauce in a large pan, on low heat.
2. As it warms, slowly add sugar and stir constantly until dissolved--it's a lot of sugar!
3. Add the ginger, garlic, green onions and beer.
4. Slow simmer on gentle heat. It doesn't need to boil, but it can if you care to burn off the alcohol. Heat for around 20 minutes (exactness is not required) to allow the flavors to have "permeated the brew" (as my cool f-i-l says).
5. Take off heat, cool enough to add to a zip lock bag with meat for marinating. You can use it on stakes, pork chops, chicken--you can chop the meat for shish-ka-bobs, or use it for tri-tip steaks. For beef, let marinate a day (give or take). For white meat, shorter time is needed. I haven't tried this with fish, but I think it would be excellent with just about any kind of fish.
6. BBQ grill, broil, or George Foreman that meat!

(My f-i-l also has been known to add it to meat and then stick it in the freezer for a quick meal in a pinch down the road. What a guy!)






Now--what should I do with ALL of this parsley? I have 4 times this amount still in the garden!

I should have voted.

It should have been Allison. Why can't we have a rocker chick as the Idol? I think Kris is cute cute cute and would totally have a 17 year old crush on him but Adam is the one I would pay to see in concert. Can you say "Rock Star"?

Randy Jackson said America always gets it right. But I'm not sure about that. What do you think? Did America choose the best Idol?

Twice and Half

by Kristen

Today's blog is inspired by "The One Minute Writer" blog. Which I always read and think about doing what is suggested: writing for one minute on the suggested topic, but as of yet, I haven't written. I've just answered the questions in my head. I'm a great writer in my head. I wish you could read my brain, you would be impressed.

Unfortunately, the transfer from brain to finger-tips isn't always so eloquent, so bear with me. About a week ago the One Minute Write Prompter asked me to fill in the blanks in a statement, and then expand on them. Here is the sentence, "In my life I'd like twice as much __________, and half as much ____________, as I currently have." Try as I might, I cannot fill in the blanks to my complete satisfaction. I tried "joy/sorrow", but then I thought that both of those have their place and purpose in my life and maybe I wouldn't grow if that were the case. I thought about "sex/stress", but unfortunately twice as much sex would still be zero. Then I tried "money/housework", but then I thought that perhaps I need the housework to provide the opportunity to teach my kids, and I felt guilty about wanting less of it. I tried sticking with the money part and filled the second blank in with "demands on my time", but quickly just flip-flopped that to "time/expenses". That one is sounding good - but kind of selfish. Then I tried "energy/weight", and I must say, I'm sticking with that for now. Yes, In my life I'd like twice as much energy, and half as much weight as I currently have. Because then I could accomplish all that I need to do, which would lead to a better income, greater satisfaction, and a happier family, and I would feel better doing it, and look hot too!

So, let's put you to the one minute writing test - fill in the blanks, and expand on them if you so desire. You can also go to The One Minute Writer and see what other people have written. There are some good responses there.

You say it's your birthday?

by Sally

IT'S ROBIN'S BIRTHDAY TOO, YEAH!

Robin is awesome. She is smart, brave, funny, beautiful, a talented cook, an inspired gardener, a great listener, a good friend, amazing camper, hard worker, dedicated mother, loving wife, successful woman, loving daughter, and most of all (to me, at least) an AWESOME SISTER.

I love you Robin! We all do!

Happy Birthday!

Here are some pictures of my lovely sister on just a few of her many adventures:

In some tiny mexican town on the border of Belize for Christmas last year, with her family

2004, visiting me in San Francisco

Robin and Roland in a petrified forest

At Native American ruins Mesa Grande

In Mazatlan 2 years ago when Robin, KK & my mom threw a BEACHFRONT baby shower for Emily and me!

Alcatraz, 2006


Robin, best wishes for a wonderful year. Happy Birthday!

I have this amazing sister...

well, I'm not sure what to call her. Our parents were married for a while, so I can call her sister right?

Picture this, I'm sitting down reading Christmas cards and I open a darling letter from her family. I read all about the adventures of her 5 young children, her busy husband and then, I read that in addition to raising 5 kids (twins in there), owning a dance studio and teaching dozens of dancers each year, serving in her church and the daily tasks of house and home she has written a book!

An actual book. I can't even write my grocery list.

I can't wait to have this in my hands. I am so proud of her! Not only does it take talent to write like this, but perseverance to get it out there! To become a published author. Wow!

You should read it too. I read the first chapter and cannot wait to get this in my hands. You can buy it on amazon.com or through her publisher here. I think my 10 year old will really be into it too, especially because Aunt Laura is an author!

What Happened To Me?

During a closet purge last week I found a journal that I didn't know I kept. It was in a box with purses, shoulder pads, belts, and costume jewelry from 12 years ago. I vaguely recognized it as a book that sat on my bedside table for nearly a decade. It was stained with a water mark from a cup, some dried food and it was dusty. When I opened it I was surprised to find a journal started the year before my oldest child was born and ending right after the birth of my youngest, a nine year time span.

How could I have forgotten a book that I wrote? Shell shock. Motherhood was shocking to me. The physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, sexual, intellectual changes and demands overwhelmed me. Here I am, almost on the other side of motherhood, and I can tell you that there were times that I went to hell and back as a mom. More than once. Real hell. And, before I found that journal the hell was pretty fresh in my mind.

Immediately I stopped what I was doing and sat down and read the entire journal. It isn't very long. I probably only wrote 2-3 times a year and some years I didn't write at all. But what I wrote is amazing. I expressed concern as the dynamics our marriage changed with each new child, career, additional responsibility. I didn't know it then, but those changes were making our marriage fuller, truer, more resilient. I wrote of each child's birth with honest amazement at how beautiful they were and how overwhelming my love for them was. I alluded to the sleepless nights filled with worry about their development and progression. I shared spiritual experiences with clarity and appreciation.

Lists. I made lists. Lists of things I needed to be better at. Nearly every entry mentioned something I could be doing better. Better prayer, more patience, better scripture study, be more loving, less selfish, be healthier, cleaner house, better teacher, more cheerful, more attentive, more, more, better, better. I made lists of things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to learn, if only I had the time.

In spite of the shell shock and extraordinary upheaval of motherhood, I really loved my babies. I was crazy about them. Never have I written as lovely a thing as I wrote in my journal about my children. The words aren't exceptionally impressive, just ordinary words describing the way they played together, the activities of the day, the little events. But as I re-read them over and over I was filled with joy. And peace. I wrote pretty honestly about what I was feeling, so it didn't make me want to go back to that time, but I was impressed at myself.

Each entry ended with a variation of the phrase, I am so tired, I just need to sleep, I can hardly think - need rest, I'll write more tomorrow. The next entry would be a year later.

Roland called while I was reading the journal and I told him how amazing it was. How amazing we were!

Get a journal and write when you can. You will need that journal when you are 44, or 66, or 88 and wondering what happened to you.

Learn something new...

by Kristen

A couple of years ago I took a class at Boise State University with 3 of my friends. It was a spanish class. We had a blast! Every Tuesday night we'd carpool down to the university and pretend that we had studied during the week and laugh and visit and learn some spanish. Sometimes after class, we would go out for dessert and once we all got together for a study session (yes, we did try to take it seriously).

Our instructor, Maria, was from Spain, and she was darling. She told us we could only speak spanish in the class, so we prefaced all our english with "Tengo un pregunta", which is something like "I have a question", and then we would ask our question in english. We would also say, "¿Cuál es el significado..." to ask what something meant. But my favorite, by far was "¿Cómo se dice...". Which is "How do you say...?"

My dear friend, Teri, would always ask funny questions like, "¿Cómo se dice butt?" or "¿Cómo se dice nasty?" Maria just would laugh at us and answer our questions. I wonder if it bothered her that we didn't take it very seriously. I don't think so. But it did bother our class mates. Some of them were VERY serious about this community ed introduction to spanish class.

Anyway, if you are wondering butt = culo, nasty = sucio.

The following video is a very funny clip about "spanish for your nanny"...





Currently I am taking a Water Safety Instructor class. It is awesome!

All my life I've wanted to be able to swim the Butterfly stroke, and all my life I have caused great anxiety for nearby life-guards and swimmers when I have tried. It is a hard stroke to learn!

But on Monday night - in a 3 hour class, I DID IT! I learned the Butterfly! I am so on cloud nine for this accomplishment. It was just so cool to finally get it. The timing, the breathing, the kicks, the stroke, it all came together. I'm not saying it was pretty, but I did it and the Master's Swim Coach who was teaching me was pleased and said she'd give it a "pass". I will be working on this a lot in days to come. And I know my shoulders will be dying tomorrow...


BUT I DID IT!!!!!


(Later, in some other post I'll tell you about me and Michael Phelps...yeah, I know him. We're tight! That's why I used a picture of him in this post.)




I'm already thinking about what class I'm going to take after the WSI class is over. I want to get back into pottery, so maybe I'll find a community ed pottery class.



Taking a class makes you feel younger, more vibrant. When you learn a new skill, you feel accomplished. And even if you don't learn a lot (as in the case of my spanish classes), if you take the class with some friends, you'll have a blast.

Why, just last night I went to a couponing class. It was so awesome! Thank you Discount Queens! I can't wait to start saving money! When I left I felt smarter, more resourceful, and I had a little spring in my step. Amazing how just one little class can do that for you!

Think about it - you could take:

a dance class

a language class

a finance class

a parenting class

a pole-dancing or belly dancing class

a gardening class

an exercize class

a religion class

a cooking/culinary class

a kayaking class

or pick any subject a the university - psychology, biology, math, education, history, etc.

you could even take a capoeira class (see video below). I have a friend, Cherie, who is very good at capoeira, she teaches it at the YMCA.




What kind of class do you want to take?

I hate you, I love you...

by Emily

First I received this:



Only, instead of a Mary and Joseph, I got 2 Josephs, and no Mary. A different Nativity story I guess?













Then I bought this:



You can "compose" your own classical music with various instruments at various volumes. After one battery change, it just up and quit working. My children are pretty gentle with toys, so I was disappointed.









Then I got this on sale for a Christmas gift:




My 1 yr old loves Elmo. He was frightened at first, but now he LOVES it. However, instead of functioning properly, all this Elmo does is let you "honk" his nose. All the other cool things he's supposed to do, he's not doing.












I love all these toys, my children love them. I hate spending money (or getting as a gift) and having them break/missing parts.

Back to the Nativity: My wise s-i-l Melissa suggested I call Fisher Price about the Nativity. Since then, I have taken the time to call customer service for big label toys like these when they aren't working.

Fisher Price Nativity: they simply sent me an entirely new character set, with Joseph and Mary! No sweat off my back.

Disney Little Einstein Composer: it is out of production, so they sent me a paper voucher ($) for the price of the toy, to be used at a regular store like Target or Toys 'R Us.

Fisher Price Elmo: they emailed me a free shipping label, I will mail them the broken Elmo, and they'll probably fix it or send me another one.

I love getting great toys at garage sales for cheap, when they break you don't mind so much. Out with the old! In with the new (gently used garage sale finds)! And I hate it when I get a new toy (bought or gifted) and it breaks, but I also love knowing that if I throw down $20 bucks on a new toy, there is great customer service to back it up. Of course, you have to take into consideration normal wear-n-tear on a toy. Still, it doesn't hurt to call and ask.

Thank you, Mattel!

Whistle While You Work?

I detest housework. One way I can make it tolerable is to crank up some good tunes. I like to listen LOUD and being The Mom (frequently with a child napping somewhere in the house) isn't always conducive to a major rock-out in the middle of the kitchen.

On the flip side, if I do start dancing around and singing, my kids are usually very happy to join in. So at least I'm not dancin by my se-helf, whoa ho ho ho.

What are your preferred tunes for housework? Lately my favorites are Gwen Stefani, Ben Folds, Josh Rouse, and Billy Joel's Greatest Hits CDs that I can sing along to. I tend to listen to music obsessively and love it until I kill it, then I can't stand it anymore. Poor Josh Rouse only has a few weeks left before I'm done with him.

My goal this week is to perfectly time my kid's naps around housework chores so that I can get maximum music enjoyment and volume while not ruining naps. Oh, the thrilling challenges of being me.

This bird likes to rock out, too. Enjoy.


The video is long, but it is worth watching at least 20 seconds. Especially if you love Queen/80's greatest hits, like me!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Martyr's Day, I mean Mother's Day...

A few years back, I sat listening to a lovely Mother's Day service at church. The songs all heralded the joy and loveliness of motherhood. The speakers all praised their perfect wives, mothers and sisters. It was beautiful.

And I sobbed.

My sweet husband had left early that morning for meetings, with a kiss on my cheek and a tender look that said "sorry!" Then I had spent 2 hours wrestling small children into fluffy dresses, trying to find those matching socks, shoes and hairbows that had been set out Saturday night but walked off before 9 a.m. (does this happen to anyone else?) There had been no time for breakfast in bed, diamonds, or lovely cards. I had been crabby with my children and short tempered.

And so I sobbed. I spent most of church feeling inadequate, unqualified, guilty and annoyed with how Mother's Day was no different from any other "Day of rest" (my eye.)

Then, I snapped out of it. For pete's sake. What was my problem? Pity Parties are so ugly. I decided right then and there that I am the best mom my kids will ever have. I love them heart and soul and I am doing my best. End of story. No more comparisons, no more guilt. I am who I am.

When we got home, I rallied the troops in making a lovely lunch, we invited friends over for dinner so that we could give someone else a break. My kids gave me the cards their Sunday School teachers had helped them make and all was well.

My attitude has greatly changed about Mother's Day. I appreciate my Mothers. I have many and all have blessed and enriched my life. We live away from family, so the actual day of Mother's Day in our house is about me, and I CHOOSE what the day will bring. I'm realistic in my expectations. I don't want diamonds and they aren't coming. Hallmark doesn't dictate how our family enjoys the day.

My idea of showing love is a nice meal. So, I plan good food. I buy what I want and enlist help in putting it together. We enjoy time in the kitchen as a family. I don't expect Dave to read my mind, I tell him what I want and then we are all happy!

This week I took Jane to the store. She insisted on spending all of the money in her bank on a Mother's Day gift for me. The children have all spent countless hours putting together cards, writing a song book for Mothers, drawing pictures... They are so excited. Jane asks me daily how many more days. She says she can't wait to see my reaction to her gift. She also has asked me to help her make muffins for Sunday morning on Saturday, because she knows we always have to rush out the door.... I also heard whisperings about breakfast in bed Saturday (I'll have my favorite bagels in the fridge and granola... They'll be so happy to give me exactly what I would want!)

For me, at this stage, this is what Mother's Day is about. With the help of a sweet husband, I am teaching my children how to show me and their Grandma's and Aunts Love. They are learning how to show someone that you care, how to prepare nice things for them... the best part of Mother's day will be watching the joy my children have found in treating me like their queen.
Please excuse the Valentine collage. This is the only picture of me and my children I have! Job #1 for Sunday morning is a family picture!

Platinum Princess

In honor of Mother's Day we have a guest blog from our Mom. She is darling, funny, spunky and full of good advice. I got my first gray hair when I was about 29. I started coloring at about 32. I have been flirting with going natural, but don't have the guts yet. So I asked mom to give us some advice and share her experience on going Gorgeous! - robin

............................................................

• More than 40% of Americans have some gray by their 40th birthday
• Over 70,000,000 women are now over 40 years old
• Fully 1/3 of the population will be age 50 or older next year

GOING GRAY?

No, you’re not. And you don’t have any friends with yellow hair. They’re Blonde.

Your hair might be going silver, pewter, platinum, ice, pearl, or sterling. Never gray. With America’s 1/3 population of baby-boomers, the word “gray” for hair color has become politically incorrect.

All my life I was a dark Brunette. I wasn’t brown, or black.

I think I look like Lily Tomlin in this picture.

In my mid 40’s Clairol, Aveda, Wella, and similar brands, dubbed my color Dark Coffee, Sable, or Love Potion# 9. I thought I would transition to silver gracefully by coloring only my bangs, & about 1“ either side of my part. That worked fairly well for a number of years.

But when predictable & increasingly itchy scalp after using any brand of color turned into a full blown allergic reaction my hair stylist, Odell (the same one that Robin, Emily, Kristen, Sally and Hannah love), said PPD (paraphenylenediamine), in virtually all hair color was the culprit. He told me that letting your roots show was the new thing in hair fashion & encouraged me to let it grow out. Maybe he was thinking of this:

Vogue calls it “showing your stripe.” Imagine reverse coloring, very fine hair, cut short, with no photographer’s fan giving it that sexy mussed up look. Oh yes, very important: change the 18 yr old model’s face to that of a mature woman. On me, after 4 months with no color I looked like a balding skunk.

A toddler at Walmart, pointing to me informed her mommy, “look, she has 2 hairs.”

Then a week or so later when I was checking out at my dentist’s office there were 3 children who must have been waiting for their parent, because none was present. When I turned around with a big smile & asked them why they were giggling like crazy, the 2 year old said, “because your hair is 2 colors.” I just laughed with them & said, “Yep, it’s pretty crazy, isn’t it!” Then I drove straight to the wig shop. This is what I bought:

Actually, I had to order it & wait a week. The wig shop called as I was leaving for the airport. Alan stopped on the way so I could wear it on the plane. Alan thought I looked like a fox & threatened to head back home instead of letting me leave him for a week in Calif. I thought it looked fake, but I guess it looked pretty good:

• The 45-ish flight ticket agent flirted with me.
  
• The young woman ISA employee who had to go through my carry on told me how much she loved my hair & that she had been watching me since I entered the security area. She wanted to know if it was my natural color (I told her yes, which was technically true) & asked if I lived in Boise (yes) & finally, who cut it. I told her the wig lady did. She didn’t believe me.
• I’d told my sister ‘d be wearing my new gray wig at LAX, but she & her husband looked straight at me & were going to drive right by until I wildly waved both arms at them.
• My mother, who wasn’t expecting me (it was my 89^th birthday present to her), didn’t know who I was, even when I said, “hi, Mom.” She thought I was Kris, until I got 2 inches from her face & hugged her (she’s legally blind, so she was easy to fool.)
• My niece, Kaitlin, looked me in the face & walked right past me.
• My sister, Kathy, & brother’s wife, Dyan, both did a serious double take when I sat down at their table in the restaurant where we all met for lunch & until I told them otherwise, they thought it was my real hair, not a wig. In fact they had to touch it to make sure I wasn’t kidding.

It was so much fun that I got a blonde one:

Then a pewter one:

I took Alan to the wig shop with me when I picked up the 3^rd wig and while I there I tried on a dozen different styles & colors. He picked the red one. It his favorite:

These got me through 10 months of really, seriously bad-hair days. They’re made of wonderful new synthetics & are easy to care for, light weight & very easy to wear—not like those awful ones some of us wore in the 60’s-70’s. They shortened my morning “Indian-paint & headdress” getting-ready routine by 20 minutes, at least.

And it’s fun: My bishop told me there was a betting pool going on among those sitting on the stand & on the back row of the chapel, “to see what color Linda’s hair is going to be today.”

It took about 14 months & a few color “low lights,” (not touching the scalp because of my allergy), but I finally have color I can live with. This is me:

I haven’t worn my wigs for 6 months. I’m not brave enough. “Why?” you may ask. They looked great, like perfect hair, much thicker, shinier & healthier looking than my own. Still, unless I’m on a trip, I won’t wear one because I’m afraid if I do I’ll have someone who knows me say, “Wow, Linda, you look terrific,” before they realize it’s not my own hair. Then they’ll be embarrassed.

I read when hair becomes 50% gray you have no choice and have to transition from dyed to natural. I don’t agree. I think in our world we can choose whatever color we want. But if you find white hair on your head & are trying to decide whether to color or not, consider a wig. Choose a good synthetic one, from a wig salon, not some magazine ad. If it is good it will probably cost $80 - $150, but that’s less than a year of visits to the hair salon.

Love,
Linda
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For fun pictures of my mom's wigs, but not on her darling little head, go Here.
This is a link to a great web page on going gray. There are some young beautiful gray haired women.