You look fabulous!

by Sally

Well, you really do look fabulous. But if you are like me, you could look even more fabulous.

Although I was voted "Best Dressed" in junior high (yes, it's true), I am not a trendy person. Somehow I now have significantly less time for and interest in clothing than I did when I was 14. I tend to wear the same things over and over again, and I don't accessorize well or keep up with new trends. I don't even think about it, but I do want to look good. I need fashion help!

Enter a blog I recently found: YouLookFab. The title of a recent post was "Autumn Mom on the Go: flop proof outfit #6". Now that is a headline that draws me in! I have no idea what they mean by flop proof, but I can think of some possibilities. Maybe this is an outfit that won't look like:

• I just flopped out of bed
• I am about to flop down on the couch and watch a soap opera in the middle of the day
• My yoga pants and pullover are flopping all over the place

These "flop proof" posts include a specific formula for creating an outfit. A non-flop outfit. I can use this kind of instruction! As I write this, I am wearing flop proof outfit #1. I like it. And I would welcome any other outfit formulas you might have to offer.

Also check here for women I admire who know how to dress: Diane, Jessica, and Paige. If you blog about fashion, post your url in our comments!

If I Had A Gun

By Robin

We all want to be that perfect mom. A tireless, tender, peaceful woman who anticipates every need and quietly stands near with a band-aid, comfort food, and concise soft spoken wisdom.

Once, I fell short of that standard. In a fit of anger-fed passion I said something that has come back to haunt me again and again.

In defense, let me explain my situation. It's hard to believe now, but at one point I was more than overwhelmed with my children. It was about five years ago. I had four noisy demanding children, two of which were headstrong teenagers. There was contention, and confusion, and a measure of defiance. I needed a nanny for each child. I needed a housekeeper. I needed a nap. I needed everyone to do what I told them to do. I was a woman pushed to the edge, so really, I can't be held responsible for what I said (yelled).

A certain child had pushed every button and pushed them too hard. I was furious. Fury isn't a normal part of my personality. I'm not a hitter, a screamer, or a yeller. I will cry instead. Occasionally I will cuss a mild PG-13 word under my breath or rattle some pans in the kitchen. I lean towards self pity and defeat rather than fury and anger but at this moment I was furious. In a moment of regrettable insanity I thought I would kill that boy, so, I yelled, "If I had a gun..." I suddenly went into slow motion mode and realized, as the words were coming out of my mouth, that I wouldn't really kill him. But I had committed to "if I had a gun" and I had to finish it. So I said,

"If I had a gun...I would hit you on the head with it!"

There was a moment of shocked silence. The word "gun" was a big deal and I could see momentary fear on his face. Then as the rest of the threat sank in he started to laugh. It was nervous laughter at first and then it quickly became hilarious. I was a frustrated potential murderer, but knowing the value of being able to laugh at myself, I told the kids I was just kidding and tried to play it off as a joke.

It is a joke. The family joke. When someone gets dramatically angry one of the kids will say, "If I had a gun I'd hit you on the head!" Gabe put it on his MySpace page as his quote. It is a phrase that entertains and amuses the kids and reminds us all of my ineptness at making a decent threat.

It will probably end up on a t-shirt one day.