I've got to get some writing done, so I won't be reading many blogs today. I don't even have time to write my own post, so instead I'll leave you with a quote from a book I'm reading:
It was no sound they'd ever heard before. In the gray twilight those retchings seemed to echo like the calls of some rude provisional species loosed upon that waste. Something imperfect and malformed lodged in the heart of being. A thing smirking deep in the eyes of grace itself like a gorgon in an autumn pool.
What's he talking about? All the Pretty Horses, listening to their riders vomiting up their hangovers. Only McCarthy could make such a base thing sound so beautiful.
Showing posts with label Language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Language. Show all posts
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Authenticity: How Much Is Too Much? Part II
Yesterday I promised to give a real world example of what I meant from my own writing. The best example I have is from my current WIP: WARRIOR-MONKS. If you aren't already a little familiar with it you can read the query above.
I'm not going to go into a whole lot of setup, but it should hopefully suffice to say that I have a character who speaks a rough version of Jamaican Patois in my novel. Jamaican Patois, also known as Jamaican Creole is an English Dialect heavily influenced by French, Spanish and several West African languages. It is very similar to, but not to be confused with, Jamaican English and Rastafari use of English.
Actually the character's accent is also influenced by Rasta Vocabulary, but that's not the point.
I've known some people in my life whose accents were quite similar, and have also been a long time fan of music like Reggae, Dancehall, Ragga-Jungle, and Dub, so I would like to think that I can write the accent with authenticity. That is also not the point.
The point is finding a balance that works for the level of realism and accuracy you as the writer want to convey while also not tripping the reader up, or drawing them out of the story. This can be an extremely difficult balance to achieve because each reader is different. Someone who is familiar with Patois or is at least curious about Jamaican or Rasta culture might be more drawn into a story with extremely accurate representation of the accents and vocabulary associated with it, but most other readers would not.
I'm now going to share a very small excerpt from my novel, giving you a clear example of what I mean. Then I will try to explain. Here is a moment when the character introduces himself, as it was written in the first draft:
“I an I name issa Jammy. Jammish Kerins fee real ceptah all man calls me Jammy K or a Jammy just fee shot, seen?”
This is probably a bad example because the accent is not that thick here and the vocabulary not that strange, but it will have to do. Here is what the same lines would look like translated into pure English:
"My name is Jammy. Jammy Kerins for real but everyone calls me Jammy K or Jammy just for short, got it?
This version is not only dry and boring, but also completely out of character for this guy. I've haven't decided exactly how stuff like this will end up in the final draft, and I'm hoping for some help from my CPs, but I will probably write this piece, which again, is a bad example because there isn't that much difference, like this:
"I and I name is Jammy. Jammish Kerins for real but all man calls me Jammy K or Jammy just fee shot, seen?"
I'm not going to go into all the details here, but I and I is a Rastafarian religious concept and often replaces me, I, we and sometimes even other pronouns in Patois. Seen is a statement or interrogatory which is often used at the end of explanations to confirm understanding.
So that's it. I'm sorry this was such a poor example but I'm hoping you see my point. I'm a huge proponent of authenticity, and I'm a total detail nerd who can really go off the deep end if I let myself, but you always have to remember your reader, and try your best to allow as many of them to connect to your story as possible.
For further reading about Patois and Jamaican culture:
There is an awesome blogger named Sebastian, who does not blog very often, but when he does he sometimes writes poetry in Patois. You can read an example, his poem Maga Dawg, at his blog.
Two other great resources where you can read about Patois can be found here and here.
You can listen to some audio samples of how it sounds when spoken, here.
I'm not going to go into a whole lot of setup, but it should hopefully suffice to say that I have a character who speaks a rough version of Jamaican Patois in my novel. Jamaican Patois, also known as Jamaican Creole is an English Dialect heavily influenced by French, Spanish and several West African languages. It is very similar to, but not to be confused with, Jamaican English and Rastafari use of English.
Actually the character's accent is also influenced by Rasta Vocabulary, but that's not the point.
I've known some people in my life whose accents were quite similar, and have also been a long time fan of music like Reggae, Dancehall, Ragga-Jungle, and Dub, so I would like to think that I can write the accent with authenticity. That is also not the point.
The point is finding a balance that works for the level of realism and accuracy you as the writer want to convey while also not tripping the reader up, or drawing them out of the story. This can be an extremely difficult balance to achieve because each reader is different. Someone who is familiar with Patois or is at least curious about Jamaican or Rasta culture might be more drawn into a story with extremely accurate representation of the accents and vocabulary associated with it, but most other readers would not.
I'm now going to share a very small excerpt from my novel, giving you a clear example of what I mean. Then I will try to explain. Here is a moment when the character introduces himself, as it was written in the first draft:
“I an I name issa Jammy. Jammish Kerins fee real ceptah all man calls me Jammy K or a Jammy just fee shot, seen?”
This is probably a bad example because the accent is not that thick here and the vocabulary not that strange, but it will have to do. Here is what the same lines would look like translated into pure English:
"My name is Jammy. Jammy Kerins for real but everyone calls me Jammy K or Jammy just for short, got it?
This version is not only dry and boring, but also completely out of character for this guy. I've haven't decided exactly how stuff like this will end up in the final draft, and I'm hoping for some help from my CPs, but I will probably write this piece, which again, is a bad example because there isn't that much difference, like this:
"I and I name is Jammy. Jammish Kerins for real but all man calls me Jammy K or Jammy just fee shot, seen?"
I'm not going to go into all the details here, but I and I is a Rastafarian religious concept and often replaces me, I, we and sometimes even other pronouns in Patois. Seen is a statement or interrogatory which is often used at the end of explanations to confirm understanding.
So that's it. I'm sorry this was such a poor example but I'm hoping you see my point. I'm a huge proponent of authenticity, and I'm a total detail nerd who can really go off the deep end if I let myself, but you always have to remember your reader, and try your best to allow as many of them to connect to your story as possible.
For further reading about Patois and Jamaican culture:
There is an awesome blogger named Sebastian, who does not blog very often, but when he does he sometimes writes poetry in Patois. You can read an example, his poem Maga Dawg, at his blog.
Two other great resources where you can read about Patois can be found here and here.
You can listen to some audio samples of how it sounds when spoken, here.
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