DCC: Dire Turkey

"This isn't a joke!" The farmer's face contorted as embarrassment, fear, and desperation flashed rapidly across it.

"Where did it come from?"

"A druid came through a couple of weeks ago. When he demanded I let him sleep in my barn I asked for something in return... he offered to bless my harvest feast bird... to make it the biggest bird the hamlet had ever seen and to make its flesh rich and wonderful." He paused. "In hindsight I should probably have just let him stay without bother."

"That would have been wiser." Rathgar sighed. "So where is this overgrown turkey?"

"Its been in the pumpkin field since yesterday." He said pointing off to the north. "Blake's boy went out to shoot it last evening. He only riled it up, and..." He gulped. "His body is still out in the field."

Dire Turkey: Init +2; Atk bite +9 melee (2d6) or claw +9 melee (2d6); AC17; HD 7d10; MV 30', fly 15'; Act 1d20; SV Fort+7, Ref +8, Will +0; AL N.

The dire turkey is a stupid and overly territorial bird. It's primary attack is pecking the target and flinging it into the air. On a successful attack that is 4+ over the target's AC, a medium sized opponent will be thrown in a random direction 1d12 feet and take an additional 1d6 damage. Small opponents will be thrown 3d6 feet and take an addition 2d4 damage.

A Dire Turkey may also perform a kick attack. Opponents hit with the feet must make a saving throw vs petrification or be stunned for 1d4 rounds. Opponents wearing a helm get a +2 to the saving throw.

Dire Turkey meat is highly prized and will fetch a good price if the market is available for it. A full grown dire turkey can easily fetch in excess of 75gp in a large village.

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Image Source: Monster Turkey by Tenshi3D

Cranberry Jelly

Here's a little holiday re-heat from 2013. Happy Thanksgiving!

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The cylinder of crimson jiggled toward the adventurers, leaving a wet smear along the stone floor. It smelled cloyingly sweet.

Nimble launched a bolt into it. "Nothing" he said, backing away.

"Any suggestions?" Allianora asked.

"Burn it?" Rathgar offered.

"I like that idea" Nimble pulled a bottle of oil out of his pack, broke the wax seal, pulled the cork and stuffed the rag into the hole. "Anyone have a light?"

Feris pointed at the rag, and a small flame sparked into being.

Nimble tossed the bottle at the slowly approaching jelly.

Cranberry Jelly
Armor Class: 9
Hit Dice: 4* (L)
Move: 30' (10')
Attacks: 1
Damage: 2d4
No. Appearing 1 (0)
Save As: F3
Morale: 12
Treasure Type: none
Intelligence: 0
Alignment: Chaotic
XP Value:125

Monster Type: Lowlife (uncommon)
A cranberry jelly is the unfortunate result of an alchemical accident. It is nearly invulnerable to physical attacks, taking only a single point of damage from any successful hit. Fire causes full damage, and cold damage allows the following physical attack to cause full damage.

Steel Victory Giveaway!

Like I said on Saturday, I'll be giving away a copy of Steel Victory. Interested? Check back tomorrow on how to enter.

Not sure if you're interested? Check out my review from last year below.

Disclaimer: I received an advanced reviewer e-copy of this book from the author, who is both a friend and one of the players in my Friday night D&D game. Didn't stop me from buying a copy.

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One hundred years ago, the vampire Victory retired from a centuries-long mercenary career. She settled in Limani, the independent city-state acting as a neutral zone between the British and Roman colonies on the New Continent.

Twenty years ago, Victory adopted a human baby girl, who soon showed signs of magical ability.

Today, Victory is a city councilwoman, balancing the human and supernatural populations within Limani. Her daughter Toria is a warrior-mage, balancing life as an apprentice mercenary with college chemistry courses.

Tomorrow, the Roman Empire invades.

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It's very difficult to pigeonhole this book into a single genre. It's a post apocalyptic story, set in a city at the edge of the american wasteland after some nuclear war (WWIII?).

It's an alternate history, not just because of this war, but also because the Roman Empire never fell, and in the old world its primary opponent seems to be the British Empire, and the city that's the focus of the story is like an independent Greek city-state that serves as a neutral buffer zone between their respective new world colonies.

It's paranormal-fantasy because... well, elves, were-creatures, wizards, and vampires. Thankfully no one sparkles and the relationships mostly tend away from high school level drama, and more toward mature adult.

There's a lot going on in the too short 215 pages including an invasion by one of the empires that happens to coincide with a flareup of humanist activity within the city and the problems that causes. It's a rather on-point topic at the moment, but handled pretty well by the author.

The difficulty in assigning Steel Victory to a specific genre is never once an issue while reading it. You'll find yourself far too engaged in wanting to know what happens next to bother worrying about it!

My only issue with Steel Victory is that the author lets you look behind the DM's screen a couple of times, wanting you to know that there is a reason for this, that, or the other thing. It's something I recognize, since I've done it myself at the table. Feeling the need to prove that I know what I'm doing and not just making it up as I go along (even worse when that's exactly what I'm doing). Learning to have confidence in your ability to manage your table, to trust your players/readers to have faith in you takes some work.

But remember, you already have buy in. They sat at your table, they bought your book. They want to have a good time, and they're willing to go along for the ride, even if they can't see the background work that goes into it!

Eyewalker

Rathgar noticed it out of the corner of his eye, a small white orb, clinging to the back of the curtain.  Had the window not been open, and the wind blowing, he never would have seen it.  Rathgar locked eyes with Nimble across the table, and then briefly looked again at the window just as the wind blew.  Nimble spotted it, and put down the mystic card.   

“Looks like I win this gambit!” Nimble smiles, pulling the gold toward him.  As his hands moved across the table, he palmed the knife next to the block of cheese.  Nimble twisted slightly as if to put the gold in his pouch, and flicked the knife toward the orb.  It crunched, and small shards of white glass tinkled to the floor.  For a brief moment a whiff of brimstone floated across the table, and then was gone. 

“So I guess we’ll replay that hand then?” Rathgar asked.

“Why would we do that?” Nimble responded.

An eyewalker is a magical construct of cartoonish appearance, a white orb upon 8 legs that only barely resemble spider’s legs.  They move with a jerky fluidity, appear to have no joints, and can climb any normal surface and any web.  The eyewalker has the following relevant stats:

Armor Class: 8

Hit Dice: 1hp (S)

Move: 120 (40)

When attuned to a magic-user these eyewalkers will transmit all it sees and hears – constantly.  This causes the magic-user to be distracted, suffering a -2 penalty to all initiative rolls and saving throws vs charm effects.  To attune or de-attune from the eyewalker, the magic-user must be holding it in his hand.  Should the orb be destroyed while the wizard is attuned to it he will continue to suffer the penalties for an additional 24 hours. 

They are powered by an entrapped imp, whose imprisonment can only be ended by the shattering of the orb.  An imp so released will do all it can to harass it’s former master before returning to the nether-regions it was spawned from.

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This item, in case you were curious, sits with its partner on my dining room table.  It's a salt shaker!

5e Magic Item: Jack-O'-Lantern

“Take this” Marketh offered “and may it light your way.” In his hand he held a hollowed out turnip with a face carved into it, and the stump of a candle flickering inside it.

Allianora humbly took the turnip and thanked the wild haired man. After presenting him with a few silver coins, and the group continued on, deeper into the woods.

A short bit later, once the gift giver was out of sight Nimble spoke up “Really, a turnip? Not even a pumpkin?” he asked, exasperated.

“You don’t turn down the offer when someone gives you the gift of light.”

“For a handful of silver?!?” Nimble pointed out.

“What of it?” She asked him. “For a few silver Marketh can treat his family to a small feast this harvest, while we share in the beauty of this lantern.”

3 days later the candle finally burned itself out after watching over the party for several nights of peaceful slumber in the deep dark woods. Nimble continued to grumble about the lost silver anyway.

Rules Cyclopedia:
A jack o’ lantern is a familiar item of hedge magic.  When properly enchanted, this item will reduce the likelihood of random wilderness encounters.  During the day roll a d12 instead of a d6, and at night roll a d20 instead of a d12.  The jack o’ lantern will continue to burn for 1d6 days.

5e:
Wondrous item, common
When lit, the jack o' lantern produces the effect of the spell Nondetection. In addition, for the 8 hour duration, random encounters will only occur on a roll of 20 on a 1d20, rather than the usual 18-20.

Toothless Rat Taphouse

To enter this fine establishment you must turn off the main street into an unpleasant ally and almost immediately descend 5 stone steps to a nondescript wooden door. Hanging above the doorway is a small wooden placard with a stylized rat burned onto it. When you open the door to the taphouse the first thing you'll notice is the smell of pipeweed. Next you'll see the stuffed rodent of unusual size (R.O.U.S.) that sits in the corner by the door. It's clearly very old, missing some fur, and of course it's teeth. When you look around to the taproom proper, you'll see an assortment of round wooden tables, support posts rising from floor to ceiling, and a wide variety of stools and chairs. Along the back wall three large casks rest behind the unadorned bar. Two small dirty windows look out onto the street, between them is a dartboard, and a fireplace is centered on the far wall. The rooms illumination is provided by several oil lamps, the fireplace, and whatever dingy light manages to shine through the windows. The patrons of the Rat are mostly neighborhood workers who come by at lunch and in the evening for a pint and a game of knuckle bones or darts. It's a fairly quiet bar, rarely visited by those from outside the neighborhood.

The barkeep is a bald human with dark skin named Red. He usually wears a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, dark pants and leather suspenders. His left forearm is notably scarred, and Red will gladly launch into a telling of his battle with a pack of giant rats who had crawled up through the sewers and attacked him in the back room back when the bar was called simply "Red's". With each telling the rat pack grows in size, and recently he's added a rat king to the tale! The truth is that there was but a single giant rat, but the damage their fight caused made it seem like there were many more! Red will be thrilled to have adventurers in his bar, just so long as they treat him as a fellow monster slayer, rather than just as a simple barkeep. Should he not receive the treatment he feels he deserves he will quickly become very unwelcoming.

Red serves ale of middling quality for an average price, and he keeps on hand some harder drinks for those who desire them. He also keeps a hot soup or stew pot (or two) cooking in the fireplace for those who need something filling, of not particularly flavorful. The pot's contents vary by day, but usually contain a variety of root vegetables, bones from the butcher, occasional scraps of meat, and sometimes a whole rat if Red catches one in his store room.

Daily Specials
1. Rat Kebab with turnips and onion
2. Sun dried fruits and fish
3. Mushroom "steaks"
4. Apple stuffed pork belly
5. Wild berry cobbler
6. Demon eggs and pickled greens
7. Rice gruel and a bacon friend egg
8. Sausage rolls with peppers


Originally published back on 10/16/09, but the map, rat, and chart are new.

Blue Rose Review Part 1 (again)

A year ago (almost exactly) I began a review of the Blue Rose RPG... and I never finished it. Look, last year sucked even more than the Blue Rose setting, and I just didn't have it in me. Last week I pulled out the book again to give it another read through and pick up my review where I left off.

Then yesterday Green Ronin announced that they were re-releasing the Blue Rose RPG using the AGE rules engine, and funding it via a kickstarter. So it seemed like a good time to repost the first part of my review. The rest of the review will continue in May after I get back from my hike.

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This is going to be a multipart review, cause I just couldn't do it all in one sitting...

Blue Rose RPG in some ways is a very typical d20 clone built around a style of romantic fantasy fiction exemplified by writers such as Mercedes Lackey, Diane Duane, Tamora Pierce, Marion Zimmer Bradley, and Tanya Huff, just to name a few. Their works usually have a plucky but downtrodden protagonist with an untapped magical potential, an animal/spirit/magical companion, some true friends, and usually (by the end) love. When well done, it can make for great reading, especially when you’re 14 years old. I’m personally a big fan of Lackey’s earlier books like the The Last Herald-Mage trilogy, By The Sword, and the Mage Wars trilogy, though it’s been well over a decade since I read any of them, and the last Valdemar book I read… well, it just wasn't good.

If you've ever played a d20 game, just about everything mechanically should feel pretty familiar. Apparently this was Green Ronin’s initial True20 product. What probably will feel very different from most other d20 games is the level to which the campaign setting is the star of the show. This isn’t something I've encountered very often, except in core books for licensed games like B5, Star Trek, or Star Wars. In Blue Rose, it’s not only the main focus, it steals the show.

When you have something as well written as B5, Firefly, or other finely crafted media this usually works out pretty well. You want your game to feel like the source material. That's the whole point. Plus by the time the game’s been written, there’s already a base level of knowledge about the setting that anyone who’s picking up the game probably already has.

Blue Rose’s technique wasn't to draw on a single source, like the Valdemar series or the Song of the Lioness series, but to make the most generic pastiche of every romantic fantasy series ever written...

I could even forgive the generic... Looking at a lot of other RPGs out there, they’re pretty generic too. D&D for example. GURPS, by definition is generic. Rifts is kind of bat-shit insane with the kitchen sink, but still fairly generic until you really start tinkering under the hood. Drop jedi, and Star Wars becomes really generic too.


The main problem with the generic world building that Blue Rose decided to use? It’s sooooo boring. Boring is a bad descriptor though so what do I mean by it? There isn't any aspect of the setting that I would be inclined to include in my own home game. For example, the main action of the game takes place in Aldus, a noble land, ruled by the good Queen Jaellin with assistance from her advisory councils. The realm is protected by the Sovereign's Finest (police), the Sovereign's Guard (small army), the Knights of the Blue Rose (elite army), and the Spirit Dancers (arcane). The game strongly suggests that PCs be members of an established organization, and these groups are recommended. That's all fine, a bit boring but fine. Sounds a lot like Cormyr from the Forgotten Realms. It's been done.

The main threats to Aldis are Unscrupulous Merchants, Fallen Nobles, Bandits and Pirates, The Silence (mob), Shadow Cults, Shadow Dancers (corrupted arcane), The Unending Circle (cultists), Arcane Relics, Shadowgates, and Sorcery. This list is in the order it's presented in the book, and yes, Unscrupulous Merchants really are listed first. As someone with an accounting/auditing background, I can certainly see how those with financial power could threaten a nation, but does that really make for a good RPG? Bankers and Robber Barons the RPG anyone?

A note about Nobles - anyone can be a noble, as long as the ruler uses her magical Blue Rose scepter to determine that the person who wants to be noble detects as Good. Also, anyone can be the ruler. When the current king/queen dies, a magical stag picks the next one. Makes strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out swords seem a little more normal, doesn't it?

The other thing about the setting that bugs me is the heavy handed egalitarianism of it.

"The Kingdom of the Blue Rose makes certain all children receive a basic education"

"Aldins accept marriages between two or more legal adults, regardless of the sexes involved. Many Aldins expect everyone to marry. Once they figure out the types of people their single friends are attracted to, they become thoughtful, polite, but exceedingly determined matchmakers."

"Aldis's justice system is primarily concerned with restoring the social harmony a crime disrupts, not punishing the guilty."

"Murderers and other violent criminals are usually confined while they undergo counseling. They are only released when they have subdued their violent urges."

This is an amazingly enlightened society, given that it's neighboring states are a patriarchal theocracy, an evil sorcerer lich, and various clans of (noble) barbarians. It can probably be explained, in part, due to the prevalence of  magic in the kingdom. However, it still comes off as Kevin Sorbo's Hercules level of politically correct utopianism.

One of the things that makes RPGs (and stories, movies, books, etc.) interesting is conflict. Even better when it's interesting conflict. The kingdom of the Blue Rose seems spectacularly designed to prevent any such conflict from actually happening. It feels really odd for a game based on Dungeons and Dragons.

Beyond the world building, I found Blue Rose to have a writing and organizational problem. The prose is overly verbose and details are kept hidden. As an example, there is no timeline, just 10 pages of world history that you have to read through to get even a basic understanding. While I understand that the authors want you to really get their setting, it makes it harder to just pick up the book and run a game with it.

Information isn't necessarily well organized either. For example, the arcana effects for the cursed swamp is near the beginning of the book in the setting section, rather than in the arcana chapter. Since it's a sidebar anyway, wouldn't it make more sense to have the mechanical stuff (crunch) in the chapter with the other related crunch, rather then in the fluff?

I feel a little bad criticizing the fiction writing included, since I do the same thing on a lot of my blog posts. The thing is, it isn't any better than my writing, and it should be.

Next post will focus on the races of the Blue Rose RPG and looks at how it could have been done better, using Valdemar as an example.

Magic Item: The Crown of Candles

Allianora stood over the dusty skeleton in the rotted robe.  Rathgar, Nimble, and Feris stood off to the side and looked around at the various murals that adorned the wall.  "She made this a haven against the darkness" she siad softly.


"Who did?" Feris asked.


"The priestess, for her followers.  They trusted her."  Allianora knelt down next to the body, gently lifting her skull and looking into it's empty eyes.  "She did the best she could for them, but they were overwhelmed.  The last of them barricaded themselves in here... they were safe, but trapped."


"What kept the attackers out?" Rathgar asked.


Allianora reached down to a dark circlet with several odd protrusions. "This." 

The Crown of Candles is a holy relic from ages past.  A silver circlet darkened with age, with two bands that cross over the top.  There are 4 protrusions spaced equally around the circlet, each designed to hold a tall tapered candle.  At the center of the cross is a fifth spot for a candle.  When worn by a female cleric or other holy woman of good/lawful alignment with 5 lit candles, it will provide light as per the spell until the Crown is removed.  In addition, all those of the same alignment as the wearer of the Crown will be under the effect of the Bless spell, and the area illuminated by the light will be under the effect of a Protection from Evil/Chaos.

Creatures of evil/chaos will be magically inclined to ignore the crown, should it be encountered unlit.  A Save vs Spells at a penalty of 4 must be passed for them to treat the crown as anything other than a silver trinket..

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This post originally appeared here on 12/23/2010.

Gourdghost

“I hate this time of year” Rathgar complained as yet another flaming gourd exploded on his shield.

“If we can figure out how to close the gate permanently, we won’t ever have to worry about these things again.” Feris reminded him. 

“Yeah, what are the chances of that?” Nimble asked “These things have been plaguing the area at the end of harvest time for as long as anyone can remember.  Even the elves!”

The mocking laughter of the grinning pumpkins echoed across the field as yet another salvo of the burning gourds rained down upon the adventurers.

Allianora swung her mace at one of the incoming missiles, sending it back to land in the middle of the group of the ghosts.  It exploded, scattering the ghosts from the now burning hay bale fort. 

“Nice swing!” Rathgar cheered.

 

Gourdghost

Armor Class: 4

Hit Dice: 3* (M)

Move: 120' (40')

Attacks: 2 claw or 1 missile

Damage: 1d6/ld6 or 2d4

No. Appearing 1d6 (0)

Save As: F3

Morale: 12

Treasure Type: Nil

Intelligence: 7

Alignment: Chaotic

XP Value: 40

Monster Type: Planar Monster, Enchanted (Uncommon).

Gourdghosts, aka Pumpkinspirits are an elemental spirit that gains access to the material plane at the end of harvest time, and remain until the first hard frost when they are again banished to wherever it is they originally come from. 

Standing a gaunt 7 feet tall, with shadowy stick like bodies, and a grinning pumpkin (or other appropriate local gourd) for a head, they are vicious though rarely deadly creatures.  They delight in torment, taking sadistic pleasure from their cruel tricks.  When forced into physical confrontation they will rake with their claws or throw burning gourds (10/20/40) which explode on impact.  Targets of the thrown gourds can save for half damage. 

Gourdghosts are never encountered during daylight hours or in dungeons. As they are not undead, they are immune to turning.  They are immunities to sleep, hold, and charm spells. 

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This is a resurrection of a post from 2010... Tomorrow I'll post the new 5e stats!

New Monster: Howlerbat

Norman over at Troll and Flame posted this most awesome picture of a Howlerbat and asked for stats.  Here's my attempt.

Howlerbat

Armour Class: 6
Hit Dice: 2
Move: 9' (3')
      Fly 180' (60')
Attacks: 1 bite or 1 howl
Damage: 1d4 or stunned (see below)
No. Appearing: 2d12
Save As: F2
Morale: 10
Treasure Type:  J
Alignment: Chaotic
XP Value: 50

A howlerbat has a vicious howl attack.  It can target a single creature, and if that creature fails it's saving throw vs. paralysis it is paralyzed for 1d3 rounds.  If targeted by multiple howls, the effects are cumulative, however any successful save negates all previous failed saves.  

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This post was originally published on 1/27/10.