Thinking on the Paladin's Warhorse

"Thus was Advanced Dungeons & Dragonsborn, and the death knell of the loosey-goosey, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants OS style of play."

~ Tim Kask, former TSR employee

Sorry to post this quote a second time, but it's a big belly-laugh for me.  If this was the goal of AD&D, the writer and editor fell way short of the mark ~ as we knew when we started playing the version in 1979.

I said earlier this week that we fell in love with AD&D.  That is only half true.  It was something like falling in love with a slacker or a wastrel with potential.  If only something could be done about their shortcomings, they'd someday grow up to be a wonderful person ... but for the present, they're still sadly lacking.

As I was reminded today as I undertook to write proper rules for the paladin's warhorse for my wiki, which I've never really done.  Seems there have been many concepts that I've skimmed over these past decades, as I've concentrated on codifying more contentious material.  There's always another subject, another detail.  And with something like the paladin's warhorse, I've relied on my memory of old rules and my perception of the animal, why it exists and what it ought to be good for.  I wouldn't actually need the original rules to write my own, as I've run paladins with horses many times.

Still, it was rational this morning to return to the past and remind myself what the old AD&D books said about it.  Just to be sure I hadn't missed anything.  Doing so, I found a flood of memories ~ of how really miserable and petty the advanced rules were, and how clumsy, loosey-goosey and fly-by-the-seat-of-your pants were the details.  Here's the entirety of what AD&D had to say about the paladin's warhorse.

At 4th level ~ or at any time thereafter ~ the paladin may call for his warhorse; this creature is an intelligent heavy warhorse, with 5+5 hit dice, AC 5, and the speed of a medium warhorse; it will magically appear, but only one such animal is available every ten years, so that if the first is lost the paladin must wait until the end of the period for another.

~ Player's Handbook, p. 22.

When the paladin reaches 4th or higher level, he or she will eventually call for a warhorse. It will magically appear, but not in actual physical form. The paladin will magically “see” his or her faithful destrier in whatever locale it is currently in, and it is thereafter up to the paladin to journey to the place and gain the steed. As a rule of thumb, the journey will not be beyond 7 days ride, and gaining the mount will be an impossible task. The creature might be wild and necessitate capturing, or it might be guarded by an evil fighter of the same level as the paladin, and the latter will then have to overcome the former in mortal combat in order to win the warhorse. In short, the gaining of the destrier is a task of some difficulty which will take a number of days, possibly two or more weeks, and will certainly test the mettle of the paladin. Once captured or won, the warhorse knows its role and relationship to the paladin, and it will faithfully serve thereafter for 10 years. Thereafter, the paladin must seek another mount, as the former one will be too old to be useful.

The intelligence of a paladin’s warhorse is 5-7 points. The number of hit points per hit die of the steed will never be fewer than 50% of the level of the paladin, i.e., a 4th level paladin means the warhorse he or she gains will have at least 2 hit points per hit die, excluding the additional bonus of +5, while a 16th level paladin’s special steed will have maximum hit points per die.

If the character loses paladinhood for any reason, there will be an immutable enmity between character and mount, and the former will not be able to ride the latter, while the steed will escape at first opportunity.

~ Dungeon Masters Guide, p. 18.

Seriously.  What a bunch of dicks.  You can have your horse, but you have to adventure for it, and that adventure should be a 50/50 chance of dying, and if you fuck up as a paladin, you lose the horse, and if you lose the horse, you have to wait years and years.

And what is this horse?  It has hit points.  Is an attack specified?  No.  It's smarter than a horse but it's still pretty dumb, so don't expect a lot.  Big whup.  Does it explain what the horse does?  What real benefits the horse offers?  What the limitations are?  Will it fight on it's own?  Will it die defending the paladin?  No idea.  And this is what Kask calls "codified."  This is what he calls the end of grab-ass role-playing.  Pfffft!

I'd forgotten what a cretinous "benefit" this thing was according to the books.  I've never demanded a paladin fight for a horse, I've always immediately assigned a new horse when the paladin lost one (with a reasonable expectation for the paladin to return to civilization), I've never made it difficult.  The horse has always "understood" the paladin's wishes.  The one time I ever had a paladin "fall from grace" (my early days, when I was still deluded but such ideas), the horse did not defect.  What a ridiculous freaking concept.

But I admit ... I've not really nailed down what's going on, either.  What is the horse?  What is its motivation?  How much power & ability does it add to the paladin?  What precisely are the benefits?  These are questions that should be explored, not because they limit the horse, but because knowing what these things are gives additional power and control to the player.  If you don't know what the magic wand does, it's just a stick.  One great benefit of rules like this is they transform a utility into something wonderful.

I want to give it a little more thought, but I think the paladin's warhorse should be something quite special ~ and not just for the paladin, but for the whole gaming party.  Every player should feel the presence of the horse is a boon and an asset, not just for the one player but for everyone.