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Hidden Affairs #2
Storm Clouds and Devastation
Jules van der Meer… He’s somebody I shouldn’t want. Someone I can’t have. The forbidden fruit. The desire not to be divulged in. He’s wealthy, successful, important… everything I’m not . I’m half his age. Immature and desperate. It’s what they all say—the men in the night with the fancy clothes and the shiny cars, with enough money to make me do whatever they please. But him… well, he looks at me like I’m the answer to his prayers. A diamond in the rough. He doesn’t realize how wrong he is, though. I’m poison—putrid and vile. I’ll seep into his pores, wrap around his bones, and destroy whatever light he has left until he’s just like me… Nothing but storm clouds and devastation. *Storm Clouds and Devastation is book two in the Hidden Affairs standalone MM series. This book features a significant age-gap and touches on heavy issues such as mental illness.
296 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 14, 2023
About the author
Ashley James
18 books1,105 followersAshley James is a romance author who enjoys writing (and reading) LGBTQIA+ books. She is from Washington State—and no, not Seattle—and currently resides in South Carolina with her two kids and hairless kitties, Goose, Maverick, and Houston. Ashley is introverted and slightly (okay, majorly) awkward. She refuses to make this section sound like a tacky dating app profile, so she won't be telling you how much she enjoys music, how she thoroughly enjoys dancing and singing in her kitchen, despite not being able to carry a tune, and she won't be telling you about her love of toxic and broken fictional men.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 273 reviews
April 22, 2023
Storm Clouds and Devastation is the second book in the Hidden Affairs series. I have been looking forward to Bodhi's story since meeting him in the first book. I knew this boy had a deep, deep hurt and trauma, and my heart was going to break for him.
I wanted nothing more than to wrap him up and keep him safe. He's lived in torment in his home, so alone, violated in the worst way possible, and broken with literally no one to turn to. The one person in his life he could find refuge in also ends up hurting him. Goodness, the poor boy could not get a break.
Jules is the father of his former best friend, who he reconnects with when he ends up being one of his clients. Nothing good is going to come out if this encounter. He's married, a Supreme Court judge, and his best friend's father. They should not be together in any capacity, but Bodhi's sad eyes and beauty entrap Jules, and he wants him. It's pretty much insta love on his end.
There's a lot of back and forth between them, mainly on Bodhi's end, as he feels he's not worthy or deserving of the affection and attention that Jules shows him. For him, who views himself as worthless and broken, it's hard for him to break out of that mentality and accept Jules despite everything in him wanting to.
I liked that Jules really wanted to take care of Bodhi and was possessive of him. Despite the craziness around their situation and relationship, he did show up even when Bodhi pushed him away.
The sex scenes were really hot. I loved how Jules wanted nothing more than to shower Bohdi with affection and please him. Bodhi is always the one pleasing others as part of his job, but with Jules he could let go and be the focus and receive all the steamy loving he needed. There's a bit of Daddy kink as well.
The parts that made me a bit uncomfortable about this story were -
Also, this also may be a trigger for others or something off putting -
We get to see a lot of Bodhi's inner thoughts and his experiences with body image, suicide attempts, eating disorders, physical/sexual abuse and depression, so please do the check trigger warnings, as this story can be very triggering for some.
Overall I did enjoy Storm Clouds and Devastation. I was happy that Bodhi got his hard earned happy ever after.
I wanted nothing more than to wrap him up and keep him safe. He's lived in torment in his home, so alone, violated in the worst way possible, and broken with literally no one to turn to. The one person in his life he could find refuge in also ends up hurting him. Goodness, the poor boy could not get a break.
Jules is the father of his former best friend, who he reconnects with when he ends up being one of his clients. Nothing good is going to come out if this encounter. He's married, a Supreme Court judge, and his best friend's father. They should not be together in any capacity, but Bodhi's sad eyes and beauty entrap Jules, and he wants him. It's pretty much insta love on his end.
There's a lot of back and forth between them, mainly on Bodhi's end, as he feels he's not worthy or deserving of the affection and attention that Jules shows him. For him, who views himself as worthless and broken, it's hard for him to break out of that mentality and accept Jules despite everything in him wanting to.
I liked that Jules really wanted to take care of Bodhi and was possessive of him. Despite the craziness around their situation and relationship, he did show up even when Bodhi pushed him away.
The sex scenes were really hot. I loved how Jules wanted nothing more than to shower Bohdi with affection and please him. Bodhi is always the one pleasing others as part of his job, but with Jules he could let go and be the focus and receive all the steamy loving he needed. There's a bit of Daddy kink as well.
The parts that made me a bit uncomfortable about this story were -
Also, this also may be a trigger for others or something off putting -
We get to see a lot of Bodhi's inner thoughts and his experiences with body image, suicide attempts, eating disorders, physical/sexual abuse and depression, so please do the check trigger warnings, as this story can be very triggering for some.
Overall I did enjoy Storm Clouds and Devastation. I was happy that Bodhi got his hard earned happy ever after.
April 22, 2023
Please read CW and TWs it might be triggering to some.
The beginning of the book was the hardest. It was so heavy to read. Bodhi’s story was so painful. I couldn’t read it without tears in my eyes every single time. When the flashbacks came it felt so dreadful I had tears in my eyes. The pain Bodhi was in his entire life and the buildup to every relapses, I can’t handle it. Every single time, I silently beg for it to stop. I had to stop to read and everytime I picked it back up, I cried. Bodhi’s “One and done”, “One more time.” haunted me…I don’t think I’ll recover.
I desperately want Bodhi to be real so I could hug him real tight. And If I could hug people like Bodhi, I would.
Out of the three of us, I’m the dark cloud.
I think the flashbacks compliment the storyline. It kinda help with the gloomy and sadness vibes too. However, the first 40% was a bit repetitive. This book also focus more on sex rather than emotional connection so if it’s not your cuppa, just leave it be. (because it does gets bad)
I was hopeful until 50%.
I wish things were different. The ILY was said too fast and their connection didn’t feel strong at all. Jules claimed Bodhi since the beginning, but there was no solid reasons on why. It was pointless. He was possesive, but with no backstory on why and how, I found him quite annoying. There were push and pull in their relationship, but it wasn’t at all entertaining. There was no progress of their relationship until like 80% and it wasn’t even a slow burn. I also think Jules was quite pushy and his character was bland. Their relationship was one of the weakest I’ve ever read. The execution could have been done way better imo.
And it all fell flat when they keep having sex instead of talking…. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 sex until the end…… such 🙂 mature 🙂 age-gap couple 🙂🙂🙂
It feels like this: Oh, you’re sad? Here’s my cock. Suck it.
The element of forbidden was there, but not the one that I enjoy. It lacked of intensity. It was only “oh, we can’t do this. because you’re my friend’s dad” repeatedly which turned out just plain for me. I needed more. Something solid than that.
By 77%, I figured the mental health issue covered in this story isn’t an awareness, but a plot device. What happened was too much and unnecessary. And ofc, it was then rushed with fucking time jumps right after the angst. And then nothing else about his issues were told in detail anymore. Because that’s what plot device are right?? just plain and ignorant as long as people suffer awareness is not important. Disgusting.
Bodhi’s speech at the end didn’t quite sit right with me. I hate when Bodhi’s recovery was told as if he was saved by the “power of love.” He didn’t get better because of Jules and Jules didn’t help him. He helped himself. That letter should be about him.
The beginning of the book was the hardest. It was so heavy to read. Bodhi’s story was so painful. I couldn’t read it without tears in my eyes every single time. When the flashbacks came it felt so dreadful I had tears in my eyes. The pain Bodhi was in his entire life and the buildup to every relapses, I can’t handle it. Every single time, I silently beg for it to stop. I had to stop to read and everytime I picked it back up, I cried. Bodhi’s “One and done”, “One more time.” haunted me…I don’t think I’ll recover.
I desperately want Bodhi to be real so I could hug him real tight. And If I could hug people like Bodhi, I would.
Out of the three of us, I’m the dark cloud.
I think the flashbacks compliment the storyline. It kinda help with the gloomy and sadness vibes too. However, the first 40% was a bit repetitive. This book also focus more on sex rather than emotional connection so if it’s not your cuppa, just leave it be. (because it does gets bad)
I was hopeful until 50%.
I wish things were different. The ILY was said too fast and their connection didn’t feel strong at all. Jules claimed Bodhi since the beginning, but there was no solid reasons on why. It was pointless. He was possesive, but with no backstory on why and how, I found him quite annoying. There were push and pull in their relationship, but it wasn’t at all entertaining. There was no progress of their relationship until like 80% and it wasn’t even a slow burn. I also think Jules was quite pushy and his character was bland. Their relationship was one of the weakest I’ve ever read. The execution could have been done way better imo.
And it all fell flat when they keep having sex instead of talking…. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 sex until the end…… such 🙂 mature 🙂 age-gap couple 🙂🙂🙂
It feels like this: Oh, you’re sad? Here’s my cock. Suck it.
The element of forbidden was there, but not the one that I enjoy. It lacked of intensity. It was only “oh, we can’t do this. because you’re my friend’s dad” repeatedly which turned out just plain for me. I needed more. Something solid than that.
By 77%, I figured the mental health issue covered in this story isn’t an awareness, but a plot device. What happened was too much and unnecessary. And ofc, it was then rushed with fucking time jumps right after the angst. And then nothing else about his issues were told in detail anymore. Because that’s what plot device are right?? just plain and ignorant as long as people suffer awareness is not important. Disgusting.
Bodhi’s speech at the end didn’t quite sit right with me. I hate when Bodhi’s recovery was told as if he was saved by the “power of love.” He didn’t get better because of Jules and Jules didn’t help him. He helped himself. That letter should be about him.
April 13, 2023
Storm Clouds and Devastation is such an emotional read. Bodhi has so many heartbreaking moments in this story that I just wanted to give him a hug and shower him with praise and love. Jules is the perfect partner because he is able to show concern and protection while remaining earnest and calm. Together they have such a great bond that helps both overcome many hardships within this story.
Bodhi is an easy-to-love character. He has a very challenging upbringing that causes many mental and physical hardships that carry into his relationship with Jules. Most of Bodhi's struggles develop when he is alone and isolated from those that care about him. I think this part of the story was handled with such care by showing a raw and honest depiction of mental health struggles.
Both Jules and Bodhi have their personal struggles. Jules is also going through his own challenges within his marriage, which leads to many emotional moments as he navigates the changing marital dynamics.
Overall this is a great story that shows how persevering through one's darkest moments is never easy, but loving support and self-determination can carry you forward. So happy that Jules and Bodhi got their HEA, it is so well-earned.
***I reviewed a complimentary copy of this story.***
Bodhi is an easy-to-love character. He has a very challenging upbringing that causes many mental and physical hardships that carry into his relationship with Jules. Most of Bodhi's struggles develop when he is alone and isolated from those that care about him. I think this part of the story was handled with such care by showing a raw and honest depiction of mental health struggles.
Both Jules and Bodhi have their personal struggles. Jules is also going through his own challenges within his marriage, which leads to many emotional moments as he navigates the changing marital dynamics.
Overall this is a great story that shows how persevering through one's darkest moments is never easy, but loving support and self-determination can carry you forward. So happy that Jules and Bodhi got their HEA, it is so well-earned.
***I reviewed a complimentary copy of this story.***
April 26, 2023
4.5 stars - There aren’t many books in queer lit that address eating disorders & the supposed need for physical perfection. This book does a fantastic job looking at these topics, as well as depression & suicidality (but content warnings definitely need to be considered)
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭
Bodhi is a gay sex worker, who has struggled with self-image his whole life. This is partly because he was a larger kid, and partly because of bullying & assault (again, check content warnings). Jules is a new job one night, & Bodhi instantly recognises him - he’s Bodhi’s childhood best friend’s father who Bodhi was attracted to as a baby gay. Jules tries to resist on moral grounds, but his attraction to Bodhi is too strong, although he also sees the pain inside Bodhi & wants to help him heal.
Bodhi’s character has been crafted with such skill & empathy, I was blown away. And while it was a hard read, the author nailed Bodhi perfectly. I liked the complexity of his relationship with Jules, & I especially appreciated that the author didn’t fall into the trap for Bodhi that “love cures everything” - he needed to hit rock bottom & get professional help to heal from his past traumas. And while Jules helped him in many positive ways, it was Bodhi who did the internal work to help himself. The deep understanding of depression & suicidality was impressive, as was the ability to articulate it for the reader to immerse themselves. My favourite part was the way the author positively painted stretch marks as “faded silver ribbons” - a beautiful description of a commonplace skin mark that is often described with disgust.
Swoony, super steamy, teary - it really had it all for me.
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name!
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭
Bodhi is a gay sex worker, who has struggled with self-image his whole life. This is partly because he was a larger kid, and partly because of bullying & assault (again, check content warnings). Jules is a new job one night, & Bodhi instantly recognises him - he’s Bodhi’s childhood best friend’s father who Bodhi was attracted to as a baby gay. Jules tries to resist on moral grounds, but his attraction to Bodhi is too strong, although he also sees the pain inside Bodhi & wants to help him heal.
Bodhi’s character has been crafted with such skill & empathy, I was blown away. And while it was a hard read, the author nailed Bodhi perfectly. I liked the complexity of his relationship with Jules, & I especially appreciated that the author didn’t fall into the trap for Bodhi that “love cures everything” - he needed to hit rock bottom & get professional help to heal from his past traumas. And while Jules helped him in many positive ways, it was Bodhi who did the internal work to help himself. The deep understanding of depression & suicidality was impressive, as was the ability to articulate it for the reader to immerse themselves. My favourite part was the way the author positively painted stretch marks as “faded silver ribbons” - a beautiful description of a commonplace skin mark that is often described with disgust.
Swoony, super steamy, teary - it really had it all for me.
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name!
June 17, 2023
"Storms, especially thunderstorms, have always been my favorite. Something about the bleak darkness that comes when a storm rolls in resonates with me on a deep level."
Storm Clouds and Devastation is the second book in the Hidden Affairs series by Ashley James, about a group of friends living together and working in the sex industry to pay their way through college. This is Bodhi and Jules' story.
As always with an Ashley James book, you know you're in for a rough ride and with a title like this one, hunker down and hold on tight. Be prepared for abuse/eating disorder/attempts at self-harm/loss of a loved one/dysfunctional families and more. But rest assured you WILL get your happy ending.
Tropes:
❣️MM forbidden romance
❣️Significant age gap
❣️Son's (ex) best friend
❣️High angst
❣️All the steam
❣️Hard won HEA
If you adore tough, angsty, heart-wrenching reads you need to get your hands on Storm Clouds and Devastation now!
Storm Clouds and Devastation is the second book in the Hidden Affairs series by Ashley James, about a group of friends living together and working in the sex industry to pay their way through college. This is Bodhi and Jules' story.
As always with an Ashley James book, you know you're in for a rough ride and with a title like this one, hunker down and hold on tight. Be prepared for abuse/eating disorder/attempts at self-harm/loss of a loved one/dysfunctional families and more. But rest assured you WILL get your happy ending.
Tropes:
❣️MM forbidden romance
❣️Significant age gap
❣️Son's (ex) best friend
❣️High angst
❣️All the steam
❣️Hard won HEA
If you adore tough, angsty, heart-wrenching reads you need to get your hands on Storm Clouds and Devastation now!
April 8, 2023
- age gap
- ex best friend’s dad
- sex work
- insta-love (not for Bodhi though 🤣)
- hurt x comfort
TW: abuse/sexual trauma, depression, on page suicide attempts, ED
For the last several years Bodhi has been working as an escort to help pay his way through college, and one night finds himself booked by none other than his ex best friend’s dad, Jules.
Jules becomes instantly infatuated with Bodhi, and strong arms his way into the much younger man’s life. Their relationship isn’t an easy one, Bodhi doesn’t believe he’s worthy of love and has so many secrets.
Storm Clouds and Devastation so much heavier and emotional than I ever expected it to be. Seeing Bodhi suffer years of torment and abuse from his creepy older brother, battle with his mental health and self image because of it, AND deal with an eating disorder on top of that... It was rough.
My heart ached for Bodhi and how broken he was. Despite constantly running and pushing him away, Jules ended up helping him heal in more ways that one, and showed him what true love and affection was when he needed it the most.
This was so good, but I have an emotional hangover 😩
- ex best friend’s dad
- sex work
- insta-love (not for Bodhi though 🤣)
- hurt x comfort
TW: abuse/sexual trauma, depression, on page suicide attempts, ED
For the last several years Bodhi has been working as an escort to help pay his way through college, and one night finds himself booked by none other than his ex best friend’s dad, Jules.
Jules becomes instantly infatuated with Bodhi, and strong arms his way into the much younger man’s life. Their relationship isn’t an easy one, Bodhi doesn’t believe he’s worthy of love and has so many secrets.
Storm Clouds and Devastation so much heavier and emotional than I ever expected it to be. Seeing Bodhi suffer years of torment and abuse from his creepy older brother, battle with his mental health and self image because of it, AND deal with an eating disorder on top of that... It was rough.
My heart ached for Bodhi and how broken he was. Despite constantly running and pushing him away, Jules ended up helping him heal in more ways that one, and showed him what true love and affection was when he needed it the most.
This was so good, but I have an emotional hangover 😩
April 2, 2023
**beta review**
My. God.
Bodhi and Jules are 100% Ashley’s most emotional story to date. I cried real tears at this story and I cannot wait for everyone to fall in love with them.
**okay actual review**
”He will fight for you even when you’re unable to fight for yourself. You won’t even realize it, but he’ll help you heal. He will save you.”
If anyone was wondering what the first book of the year was to make me cry? Well let’s look no further. The journey that Bodhi and Jules take you on is not an easy one. From Bodhi’s mental health struggles to Jules just trying to figure out how to be happy in the day to day, this book isn’t light. However, by the end there’s just something. Something bigger than a book. Something bigger than the story. It’s the story of self acceptance and how we need people. You need people in your corner, people on your team.
Don’t get me wrong. This story isn’t just a heartfelt moment. Bodhi and Jules have a very tumultuous relationship that at times you don’t think will happen. But the tension between these two is palpable. The chemistry *chefs kiss*.
All in all. I miss these two. I feel insanely protective of sweet Bodhi and I can’t wait for everyone to see his transformation.
My. God.
Bodhi and Jules are 100% Ashley’s most emotional story to date. I cried real tears at this story and I cannot wait for everyone to fall in love with them.
**okay actual review**
”He will fight for you even when you’re unable to fight for yourself. You won’t even realize it, but he’ll help you heal. He will save you.”
If anyone was wondering what the first book of the year was to make me cry? Well let’s look no further. The journey that Bodhi and Jules take you on is not an easy one. From Bodhi’s mental health struggles to Jules just trying to figure out how to be happy in the day to day, this book isn’t light. However, by the end there’s just something. Something bigger than a book. Something bigger than the story. It’s the story of self acceptance and how we need people. You need people in your corner, people on your team.
Don’t get me wrong. This story isn’t just a heartfelt moment. Bodhi and Jules have a very tumultuous relationship that at times you don’t think will happen. But the tension between these two is palpable. The chemistry *chefs kiss*.
All in all. I miss these two. I feel insanely protective of sweet Bodhi and I can’t wait for everyone to see his transformation.
April 13, 2023
"I will ruin you for everybody else. I will make it so you can never be with someone else without missing the feeling of me inside you. You. Are. Mine."
Star Rating: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
POV: Dual, First Person
HEA: Yes
Spice Rating: 3/5 🔥🔥🔥
"Being with Jules is ethereal. It's a holy experience, the closest I'll ever get to God. He is heaven and earth, a spirit so divine, it nourishes my tired body."
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Overall Opinion
I don't know where to begin for this review, this book....it broke me. It broke me into a million pieces, absolutely rendered me useless for days afterwards and left me wondering how I survived without this book before. It was angsty and emotional and deep and I loved every second of it. This was Bodhi and Jules' story, Bodhi being a broken boy inside and Jules being determined to make him feel worthy he so deserves. The pull between these two from the very beginning was undeniable and beautiful, but god do they go through some dark places before they even get remotely close to their happy ending. I thought the book flowed perfectly, it didn't miss a beat one step of the way and left me craving more of Ashley's writing! Overall this was my favourite read of Ashley James and one of my all-time favourite reads period!
Read if you like:
❣️ MM Romance
❣️ Childhood Best Friend's Dad
❣️ Mental Health Rep
❣️ Age Gap
❣️ Hurt/Comfort
❣️ Possessive MC
Trigger and Content Warnings: Severe mental illness, heavy suicidal ideations, abuse and SA of a minor, SA, bullying, death, drug use, eating disorder/disordered eating, fatphobia, homophobia.
Star Rating: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
POV: Dual, First Person
HEA: Yes
Spice Rating: 3/5 🔥🔥🔥
"Being with Jules is ethereal. It's a holy experience, the closest I'll ever get to God. He is heaven and earth, a spirit so divine, it nourishes my tired body."
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Overall Opinion
I don't know where to begin for this review, this book....it broke me. It broke me into a million pieces, absolutely rendered me useless for days afterwards and left me wondering how I survived without this book before. It was angsty and emotional and deep and I loved every second of it. This was Bodhi and Jules' story, Bodhi being a broken boy inside and Jules being determined to make him feel worthy he so deserves. The pull between these two from the very beginning was undeniable and beautiful, but god do they go through some dark places before they even get remotely close to their happy ending. I thought the book flowed perfectly, it didn't miss a beat one step of the way and left me craving more of Ashley's writing! Overall this was my favourite read of Ashley James and one of my all-time favourite reads period!
Read if you like:
❣️ MM Romance
❣️ Childhood Best Friend's Dad
❣️ Mental Health Rep
❣️ Age Gap
❣️ Hurt/Comfort
❣️ Possessive MC
Trigger and Content Warnings: Severe mental illness, heavy suicidal ideations, abuse and SA of a minor, SA, bullying, death, drug use, eating disorder/disordered eating, fatphobia, homophobia.
April 16, 2023
4.75
Storm clouds and devastation is been a hard read for me.
In a way I could really feel some of Bodhi' feelings as they were my owns .... like never been good enough. It was painful, and i cried more than I care to admit. But it was also beautiful the way he fought, in the end, to heal, to get better, to get the life and the love he deserved.
What I really loved in this book is Jules. He was the light Bodhi needed, even if he himself wasn’t in a happy place.
On a lighter note, every times he called Bodhi "pretty boy" i melted because DAMN!! HE WAS SO HOT!!
I was like "oh Jules be my Daddy"
😏😏😂
What can I say?! I'm a sucker for big bearded man 🤷♀️😌
Once again Ashley got under my skin with each word.
And I can’t wait for Elias' story.
Oh who i'm kidding i'm ready for everything she gonna come up with 😌😌
P.s. i envisioned many different way to tortur€ that sh!t of brother
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤 and i'm sure i'm not the only one.
Storm clouds and devastation is been a hard read for me.
In a way I could really feel some of Bodhi' feelings as they were my owns .... like never been good enough. It was painful, and i cried more than I care to admit. But it was also beautiful the way he fought, in the end, to heal, to get better, to get the life and the love he deserved.
What I really loved in this book is Jules. He was the light Bodhi needed, even if he himself wasn’t in a happy place.
On a lighter note, every times he called Bodhi "pretty boy" i melted because DAMN!! HE WAS SO HOT!!
I was like "oh Jules be my Daddy"
😏😏😂
What can I say?! I'm a sucker for big bearded man 🤷♀️😌
Once again Ashley got under my skin with each word.
And I can’t wait for Elias' story.
Oh who i'm kidding i'm ready for everything she gonna come up with 😌😌
P.s. i envisioned many different way to tortur€ that sh!t of brother
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤 and i'm sure i'm not the only one.
November 6, 2023
5 Teddy Hamilton stars audio
2 tolerable Liam Dicosimo stars audio
3.75 tough read stars story
2 tolerable Liam Dicosimo stars audio
3.75 tough read stars story
April 18, 2023
4.5 Stars
Hands down, my favorite book by the author. These two killed me, especially Bohdi. Sweet baby boy.
Bodhi is sweet and keeps to himself during his senior in college. He is keeping secrets such as his unresolved childhood trauma. Now a high-end escort. When he meets his new client, much to his surprise, his client is his ex-best friend’s father, Julian.
Julian was once happily married until he wasn’t. Lonely and craving intimacy Is surprising to Bodhi, but he is instantly attracted to him. As much as Bodhi tries to push him away, he keeps pushing back until he gives in.
I love an excellent age gap. Not only is this book spicey and emotional, but It's also about opening up, getting help, and healing.
What I especially loved was Jules. He could be my daddy any day. First, he isn't ashamed of himself and is being seen with Bodhi. Next, he is hot as hell, caring and loving, Exccalty what Bodhi needs.
There hasn't been a book this author wrote; I didn’t love , and this is no exception.
Hands down, my favorite book by the author. These two killed me, especially Bohdi. Sweet baby boy.
Bodhi is sweet and keeps to himself during his senior in college. He is keeping secrets such as his unresolved childhood trauma. Now a high-end escort. When he meets his new client, much to his surprise, his client is his ex-best friend’s father, Julian.
Julian was once happily married until he wasn’t. Lonely and craving intimacy Is surprising to Bodhi, but he is instantly attracted to him. As much as Bodhi tries to push him away, he keeps pushing back until he gives in.
I love an excellent age gap. Not only is this book spicey and emotional, but It's also about opening up, getting help, and healing.
What I especially loved was Jules. He could be my daddy any day. First, he isn't ashamed of himself and is being seen with Bodhi. Next, he is hot as hell, caring and loving, Exccalty what Bodhi needs.
There hasn't been a book this author wrote; I didn’t love , and this is no exception.
September 8, 2023
Wow, what an emotional journey between Jules and Bodhi! So heartbreaking at times. It was such a devastatingly beautiful story that really made you work for that much deserved HEA. Bodhi's whole life was just so messed up, specifically on the inside, and meeting Jules was his beginning of a better life. They definitely saved each other, just in different ways. I truly loved this this story, listened to it in one day, just couldn't stop. Not only was the story compelling, but Teddy Hamilton and Liam Dicosimo were absolute perfection with their performance. They really made me feel everything, just amazing. Definitely recommend this book/audiobook, even though there were tough parts to get through, the ending was so satisfying and heartwarming!
July 27, 2024
Wow what can I say? Storm clouds and devastation nearly broke me then stitched my heart back together.
Bodhi suffered terrible abuse by the hands off his father and brother which makes him develop an eating disorder and depression, as he gets older he learns to deal with them better with the help of anti depressants as well as running and a journal.
That is until his brother Charles triggers him again.
Along the way he meets Jules who is his ex best friends dad.
Jules feels connected to Bohdi and will not stop until they are together. But Bohdi feels that he doesn’t deserve jules will he be proven wrong?
Read this book you definitely won’t regret it.
Bodhi suffered terrible abuse by the hands off his father and brother which makes him develop an eating disorder and depression, as he gets older he learns to deal with them better with the help of anti depressants as well as running and a journal.
That is until his brother Charles triggers him again.
Along the way he meets Jules who is his ex best friends dad.
Jules feels connected to Bohdi and will not stop until they are together. But Bohdi feels that he doesn’t deserve jules will he be proven wrong?
Read this book you definitely won’t regret it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 21, 2023
I don't get the hype honestly.
The execution of everything in ths book was superficial, from the trauma to the angst to the relationship development.
The ILYs came out of NOWHERE and then the ending felt so rushed it gave me whiplash.
The execution of everything in ths book was superficial, from the trauma to the angst to the relationship development.
The ILYs came out of NOWHERE and then the ending felt so rushed it gave me whiplash.
Read
August 4, 2024Dnfed at 20%. Maybe it’s just me but this was just odd, I didn’t liked how things started to went on and Jules was so creepy and push i didn’t liked that at all.
August 1, 2023
well what the fuck tbh. there was absolutely no way to expect anything in this book after reading the first one, but here we are. it's like going from chamber of secrets right into the half-blood prince in terms of emotional darkness. christ. there was a lot going on in this jawn omg. lemme just break it down cos i'm still not sure how i feel about any of it.
Bodhi is an escort offering companionship and sex to his clientele. he ends up coming face to face with his old best friend's father, 40 something Julian, at one of his meet ups. Bodhi doesn't wanna go there but Jules is not so easily dissuaded. immediately, Julian is all. about. that. can i get a hell yeah? anyway, surface level, this is a pretty good set up for a classic kind of trope. age gap + best friend's dad: yummy.
red alert though, there's way more to them both and Bodhi is a walking depression cloud. Bodhi was raised in a covertly abusive home. like please beware going into this that sexual abuse takes place on page. it was... a lot to take in. Charles Sr. and Charles Jr. deserve an extra heated hot spot in the pits of hell. because of his unsafe environment as a child, Bodhi becomes a comfort eater and is tormented for being overweight for most of his life. he makes one friend while in high school— Julian's son, Ryan. Bo eventually switches vices and rather than strictly binge eat, he turns to the binge and purge method. despite later getting treated for his depression, he retains rigid control over a calorie deficit and exercise regimen. he loses weight but loves it and hates it in equal measure. there are flashbacks in Bodhi's pov showing that he loses his virginity to Ryan after an especially taxing encounter with his brother. the morning after shows Ryan losing his shit and rejecting Bo's friendship, threatening him with some pretty jarring consequences given the fact they were supposedly best friends before the sexual encounter. Bodhi is an extremely traumatized character and it shows in everything he says and does. it was exhausting and i warn against anyone just jumping in with both feet without checking the trigger warnings.
Julian is a judge, living in an empty house with his wife's unconscious body being preserved in a guest room. she had a falling accident and was pronounced brain dead, but continued to live on without ventilators; unintentionally imprisoning her husband. Jules and Ryan have no relationship to speak of for years after Ryan caught Julian with a male sex worker, not knowing that Julian and his wife had an agreement in their marriage. the accident happened shortly after and their relationship only grew more strained under the stress of what happened to the family matriarch.
when Julian and Bodhi have their first encounter after so many years, Julian recognizes the sadness in Bodhi that mirrors his own. while i'm not entirely sure exactly how or why these people keep falling in love so fast, by the end of this book, it was pretty starkly apparent that the love was genuine. there's loads of spice to break up the tension and i was absolutely living for the heated argument + passionate sex that goes down around 70%. it was giving telenova and i was so here for it. (ps "daddy" is thrown around a few times but in my opinion it was done pretty tastefully and enhanced the scene rather than making it cringeworthy)
this book is fucking DEPRESSING, okay? there is a happy ending, but ffs the climb to get there is sick. i've agonized worse over lighter books, but the topics in this were just so touchy it was kind of hard for me to trudge through some of it at times. beware of: sexual abuse, eating disorders, attempted suicide, spousal death, family rejection... fuck bro. how did i even get through it idk. anyway, i'm at about 3.5 with it. with all the dark clouds, i think there was opportunity to just really lean into it and emotionally scar every reader for life but unfortunately (thankfully?) it doesn't go quite that far. (or maybe it does if you're sensitive to those kinds of things.) side note: Ryan got off way too easily in my opinion and i would've liked to see him get his ass fully handed right to him by Jules but it didn't happen and i'm still kinda pissed over it.
atp i'm in for a penny, in for a pound and am determined to get through the third book even tho this series is nothing like i thought it'd be. i won't even dare ask how much worse can it get because having any expectations is gonna get me done dirty. cheers.
Bodhi is an escort offering companionship and sex to his clientele. he ends up coming face to face with his old best friend's father, 40 something Julian, at one of his meet ups. Bodhi doesn't wanna go there but Jules is not so easily dissuaded. immediately, Julian is all. about. that. can i get a hell yeah? anyway, surface level, this is a pretty good set up for a classic kind of trope. age gap + best friend's dad: yummy.
red alert though, there's way more to them both and Bodhi is a walking depression cloud. Bodhi was raised in a covertly abusive home. like please beware going into this that sexual abuse takes place on page. it was... a lot to take in. Charles Sr. and Charles Jr. deserve an extra heated hot spot in the pits of hell. because of his unsafe environment as a child, Bodhi becomes a comfort eater and is tormented for being overweight for most of his life. he makes one friend while in high school— Julian's son, Ryan. Bo eventually switches vices and rather than strictly binge eat, he turns to the binge and purge method. despite later getting treated for his depression, he retains rigid control over a calorie deficit and exercise regimen. he loses weight but loves it and hates it in equal measure. there are flashbacks in Bodhi's pov showing that he loses his virginity to Ryan after an especially taxing encounter with his brother. the morning after shows Ryan losing his shit and rejecting Bo's friendship, threatening him with some pretty jarring consequences given the fact they were supposedly best friends before the sexual encounter. Bodhi is an extremely traumatized character and it shows in everything he says and does. it was exhausting and i warn against anyone just jumping in with both feet without checking the trigger warnings.
Julian is a judge, living in an empty house with his wife's unconscious body being preserved in a guest room. she had a falling accident and was pronounced brain dead, but continued to live on without ventilators; unintentionally imprisoning her husband. Jules and Ryan have no relationship to speak of for years after Ryan caught Julian with a male sex worker, not knowing that Julian and his wife had an agreement in their marriage. the accident happened shortly after and their relationship only grew more strained under the stress of what happened to the family matriarch.
when Julian and Bodhi have their first encounter after so many years, Julian recognizes the sadness in Bodhi that mirrors his own. while i'm not entirely sure exactly how or why these people keep falling in love so fast, by the end of this book, it was pretty starkly apparent that the love was genuine. there's loads of spice to break up the tension and i was absolutely living for the heated argument + passionate sex that goes down around 70%. it was giving telenova and i was so here for it. (ps "daddy" is thrown around a few times but in my opinion it was done pretty tastefully and enhanced the scene rather than making it cringeworthy)
this book is fucking DEPRESSING, okay? there is a happy ending, but ffs the climb to get there is sick. i've agonized worse over lighter books, but the topics in this were just so touchy it was kind of hard for me to trudge through some of it at times. beware of: sexual abuse, eating disorders, attempted suicide, spousal death, family rejection... fuck bro. how did i even get through it idk. anyway, i'm at about 3.5 with it. with all the dark clouds, i think there was opportunity to just really lean into it and emotionally scar every reader for life but unfortunately (thankfully?) it doesn't go quite that far. (or maybe it does if you're sensitive to those kinds of things.) side note: Ryan got off way too easily in my opinion and i would've liked to see him get his ass fully handed right to him by Jules but it didn't happen and i'm still kinda pissed over it.
atp i'm in for a penny, in for a pound and am determined to get through the third book even tho this series is nothing like i thought it'd be. i won't even dare ask how much worse can it get because having any expectations is gonna get me done dirty. cheers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 18, 2024
OMG, this book was absolutely incredible! I didn’t want it to end. Bodhi’s pain is felt viscerally throughout the story and you want nothing more than save him from himself. Jules’ love for him is so pure and kind, his desire to prove to Bodhi he’s worth everything. And even with the intense, traumatic subject matter this book was so full of heat and passion. 10 out of 10 - would recommend!!
April 24, 2023
nah man, it's just torture porn fr (the man on the cover is pretty tho)
April 16, 2023
Storm clouds is one hell of an emotional ride and I’m not talking just a little touch of trauma, I’m talking about poor Bodhi taking hit after hit in life and my god the boy needed to catch a break. So, please read the triggers warnings, he really does deal with a lot. I will say that throughout it all, despite everything, he is so easy to love. My heart went out for him and him having Jules was the shining light of hope. Jules was this perfect protector for all the bad that came whilst also dealing with his own troubles and grief. They shouldn’t work, there is simply way too much happening with both of them but they do, they’re crucial to each other and that is something special. So if you love a big dash of trauma and heartbreak with your romance, Jules and Bodhi are it!
April 15, 2023
oh sweet Bo
This story has amazing mental health rep and the sweetest most perfect HeA. I'm wrecked in the best way. 10/10 would recommend.
This story has amazing mental health rep and the sweetest most perfect HeA. I'm wrecked in the best way. 10/10 would recommend.
Read
December 18, 2024Nie będę oceniać tej książki , bo byłam jak wk*rwiona czytając ją, że tylko napiszę tak, sex nie uleczy niczego ...
July 18, 2023
You better find somebody to love!
Bodhi was raised in a family without love, but it had more than enough abuse and abandonment to destroy all self esteem and confidence. His mistreatment and bullying suffered at home or school destroyed his ability to cope in any situation and eventually led to him giving up on his life and attempting suicide.
What he never expected was to find one friend in high school that became his best friend until the crush Bodhi had on Ryan crossed the line into sex when both were drunk one night when Ryan's parents were out of town. This resulted in a sudden end of the friendship due to Ryan's feelings toward gay sex based on his father's affairs.
Elias and Cameran were Bodhi's roommates that shared a house near Duke University where they met in their freshman year while sharing a room or very close by and becoming friends. They all worked in the gay sex online or dating to pay the rent while in school since they all had family and tuition challenges.
They were mutually supportive as found family, but Bodhi was often distant and strange. He was consistent in distance running and had some eating and purging disorders that he tried to hide.
When one of Bodhi's clients turned out to be Ryan's father, he tries to break the agreement, but Jules and Bodhi both are broken and opposites, yet there mutual support saves them both after dealing with many difficulties and misunderstandings.
Found families and friends are often an important part of dealing with mental illnesses.
Bodhi was raised in a family without love, but it had more than enough abuse and abandonment to destroy all self esteem and confidence. His mistreatment and bullying suffered at home or school destroyed his ability to cope in any situation and eventually led to him giving up on his life and attempting suicide.
What he never expected was to find one friend in high school that became his best friend until the crush Bodhi had on Ryan crossed the line into sex when both were drunk one night when Ryan's parents were out of town. This resulted in a sudden end of the friendship due to Ryan's feelings toward gay sex based on his father's affairs.
Elias and Cameran were Bodhi's roommates that shared a house near Duke University where they met in their freshman year while sharing a room or very close by and becoming friends. They all worked in the gay sex online or dating to pay the rent while in school since they all had family and tuition challenges.
They were mutually supportive as found family, but Bodhi was often distant and strange. He was consistent in distance running and had some eating and purging disorders that he tried to hide.
When one of Bodhi's clients turned out to be Ryan's father, he tries to break the agreement, but Jules and Bodhi both are broken and opposites, yet there mutual support saves them both after dealing with many difficulties and misunderstandings.
Found families and friends are often an important part of dealing with mental illnesses.
February 20, 2024
This. Is. Heavy. Proceed with caution with this one. So heart wrenching, I choked up too many times, it was so sad and infuriating at times, I kept reading because I needed the happy ending, it healed my heart.
Read trigger warnings!
This is a very special book and talks about topics that need to be said out loud more often. Just because you’ve never experienced similar situations or you feel uncomfortable talking about sensitive topics like these doesn’t make this book bad.
Read trigger warnings!
This is a very special book and talks about topics that need to be said out loud more often. Just because you’ve never experienced similar situations or you feel uncomfortable talking about sensitive topics like these doesn’t make this book bad.
April 14, 2023
Storm Clouds & Devastation is book 2 in the Hidden Affairs series
You can’t help but love Bohdi. He’s such a lost little soul 🥹
Bodhi has so many heartbreaking moments in this story and he's endured so much in his short life.
When he meets Jules, working as an escort to support himself through collage, his life finally begins to change, even tho he still needs to go through even more heartbreaking things to get there. He's had a hard childhood being overweight, gay, bullied at school and at home by his father and brother. He becomes depressed with an eating disorder struggling to accept himself.
Jules is also Bodhi's childhood best friends dad, who still married to his wife. Jules is the aggressor and he pursues Bohdi to the point where it felt a tiny bit desperate but in the end that is how he makes Bohdi see their potential and the first steps to his healing.
There's so much going on in this book it's hard to sum up. Just read it!
Overall this is a wonderful story that is about persevering through one's darkest moments with the right love, care and support from that one person who really sees you can help change your life.
Star Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Spice Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
♡ MM Romance
♡ Age Gap
♡ Best Friend's Dad
♡ Mental Health
♡ Hurt/Comfort
��� Possessive MC
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Trigger and Content Warnings: Severe mental illness, heavy suicidal ideations, abuse and SA of a minor, SA, bullying, death, drug use, eating disorder, fatphobia, homophobia.
You can’t help but love Bohdi. He’s such a lost little soul 🥹
Bodhi has so many heartbreaking moments in this story and he's endured so much in his short life.
When he meets Jules, working as an escort to support himself through collage, his life finally begins to change, even tho he still needs to go through even more heartbreaking things to get there. He's had a hard childhood being overweight, gay, bullied at school and at home by his father and brother. He becomes depressed with an eating disorder struggling to accept himself.
Jules is also Bodhi's childhood best friends dad, who still married to his wife. Jules is the aggressor and he pursues Bohdi to the point where it felt a tiny bit desperate but in the end that is how he makes Bohdi see their potential and the first steps to his healing.
There's so much going on in this book it's hard to sum up. Just read it!
Overall this is a wonderful story that is about persevering through one's darkest moments with the right love, care and support from that one person who really sees you can help change your life.
Star Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Spice Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
♡ MM Romance
♡ Age Gap
♡ Best Friend's Dad
♡ Mental Health
♡ Hurt/Comfort
��� Possessive MC
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Trigger and Content Warnings: Severe mental illness, heavy suicidal ideations, abuse and SA of a minor, SA, bullying, death, drug use, eating disorder, fatphobia, homophobia.
September 19, 2023
4.25/5 ⭐️
April 14, 2023
Storm Clouds and Devastation by Ashley James is book 2 in the Hidden Affairs series.
I loved the story of Bodhi and Jules even though at many points it left my heart in pieces. This is Ashley's most angsty book, the most difficult to read and it deals with some very heavy topics. They are handled with tact, but they can still be triggering for some people. So I encourage readers who feel the need to do so to read the trigger warnings.
Although some of the parts were upsetting, I found the way Ashley told the story of the ordeal Bodhi went through to be very powerful and true. You could feel each of Bodhi's emotions and how his demons haunted him at every moment. I wanted to take Bodhi in my arms and try to remove the burden that he carried with him. Like Jules, I felt helpless. Ashley made me feel the full range of emotions through her words. Thankfully, there was also some sweetness and beauty in this story to help us heal our wounds.
Jules, this imposing and passionate man, he was a guardian angel on Bodhi’s path. I had never been very attracted to muscular, bearded men, but Jules had definitely sparked a little something inside me. The dynamic between the two MCs was electric. Their chemistry was visceral and it was impossible for them to resist this pull. I loved the light daddy kink that added a little something dirty to the sex scenes. The size difference between Bodhi and Jules was also a huge turn on.
Storm Clouds and Devastation was much more emotional than the first book in the series and I think it's my favorite so far. I am so looking forward to reading Elias' story in Insatiable Hunger. Especially after reading his very sexy prologue that Ashley James left us with.
I loved the story of Bodhi and Jules even though at many points it left my heart in pieces. This is Ashley's most angsty book, the most difficult to read and it deals with some very heavy topics. They are handled with tact, but they can still be triggering for some people. So I encourage readers who feel the need to do so to read the trigger warnings.
Although some of the parts were upsetting, I found the way Ashley told the story of the ordeal Bodhi went through to be very powerful and true. You could feel each of Bodhi's emotions and how his demons haunted him at every moment. I wanted to take Bodhi in my arms and try to remove the burden that he carried with him. Like Jules, I felt helpless. Ashley made me feel the full range of emotions through her words. Thankfully, there was also some sweetness and beauty in this story to help us heal our wounds.
Jules, this imposing and passionate man, he was a guardian angel on Bodhi’s path. I had never been very attracted to muscular, bearded men, but Jules had definitely sparked a little something inside me. The dynamic between the two MCs was electric. Their chemistry was visceral and it was impossible for them to resist this pull. I loved the light daddy kink that added a little something dirty to the sex scenes. The size difference between Bodhi and Jules was also a huge turn on.
Storm Clouds and Devastation was much more emotional than the first book in the series and I think it's my favorite so far. I am so looking forward to reading Elias' story in Insatiable Hunger. Especially after reading his very sexy prologue that Ashley James left us with.
April 17, 2023
MCs had no connection, for such a supposedly emotional story
This story is supposed to be full of deep emotion, especially given how one character is overcoming so much trauma. The problem is that we spend so much time in the depths of this character’s depressive spiral that the moments where the love interest shows up the fact that they’re obsessed with each other is told to us, but there’s nothing in the text showing us this to be true. [[stop reading here if you don’t want spoilers because I need to talk about this stuff but can’t do it without sharing plot details!]]
The love interest behaves like a stalker, almost to the point of dub con but it’s supposed to be okay. The traumatized MC has to use drugs to allow intimacy more than once, and we’re supposed to believe that there’s some magical connection? Nothing felt genuine, except for the depressive spiral, which is an interesting choice for a supposed romance novel.
Also the way the author describes the judicial system and expects us to believe that anything happened in the timeline she states just shows a clear naïveté and lack of understanding of how things actually work in America, including using the wrong terminology to describe what is happening, which only highlighted the lack of research done. Ironic because one of the MCs is allegedly a judge on the Supreme Court, but I think it’s the state Supreme Court, but then there were branches all over the state? Which does not sound right AT ALL.
This guy also kept his brain dead wife at home and not in a hospital, AND somehow he also worked such crazy hours to make more money to get on the supreme count, which isn’t even how judgeships work—my uncle was an appellate court judge, he worked hard but his hours were never what this book describes. Oh also the whole relationship with the MCs son makes no sense, the son hates him and essentially blackmails him to the tune of $4k per month, but then that plan is swept under the rug when the brain dead wife dies and he finds out about the MC1 and his dad’s relationship and just screams and storms off. (BTW we’re supposed to believe that MC1 and son’s dramatic falling out that happened was ultimately MC1’s fault because MC1 abused the son’s friendship, which…that’s not how that scene plays out on the page and the events that unfold after that do not support that either.)
Anyway, ultimately this whole thing is a hot mess and the love story is so poorly told that it is completely unbelievable.
This story is supposed to be full of deep emotion, especially given how one character is overcoming so much trauma. The problem is that we spend so much time in the depths of this character’s depressive spiral that the moments where the love interest shows up the fact that they’re obsessed with each other is told to us, but there’s nothing in the text showing us this to be true. [[stop reading here if you don’t want spoilers because I need to talk about this stuff but can’t do it without sharing plot details!]]
The love interest behaves like a stalker, almost to the point of dub con but it’s supposed to be okay. The traumatized MC has to use drugs to allow intimacy more than once, and we’re supposed to believe that there’s some magical connection? Nothing felt genuine, except for the depressive spiral, which is an interesting choice for a supposed romance novel.
Also the way the author describes the judicial system and expects us to believe that anything happened in the timeline she states just shows a clear naïveté and lack of understanding of how things actually work in America, including using the wrong terminology to describe what is happening, which only highlighted the lack of research done. Ironic because one of the MCs is allegedly a judge on the Supreme Court, but I think it’s the state Supreme Court, but then there were branches all over the state? Which does not sound right AT ALL.
This guy also kept his brain dead wife at home and not in a hospital, AND somehow he also worked such crazy hours to make more money to get on the supreme count, which isn’t even how judgeships work—my uncle was an appellate court judge, he worked hard but his hours were never what this book describes. Oh also the whole relationship with the MCs son makes no sense, the son hates him and essentially blackmails him to the tune of $4k per month, but then that plan is swept under the rug when the brain dead wife dies and he finds out about the MC1 and his dad’s relationship and just screams and storms off. (BTW we’re supposed to believe that MC1 and son’s dramatic falling out that happened was ultimately MC1’s fault because MC1 abused the son’s friendship, which…that’s not how that scene plays out on the page and the events that unfold after that do not support that either.)
Anyway, ultimately this whole thing is a hot mess and the love story is so poorly told that it is completely unbelievable.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 7, 2023
If you do decide to read this, please and I mean PLEASE look up trigger warnings!!!!! This is not a light-hearted book at all. This is the hardest book I think I have ever read. It is VERY heavy with mental illness. If you don't think you could read about mental illness, please don't pick up this book. For your own safety.
My Thoughts:
I don't even know how to explain how I feel about this book other than that I loved it! It was pretty tough to get through but worth it.
God, my heart fucking HURT for Bodhi. It was just utterly crushed. Ashley literally tore my heart to pieces. I have never mentally related to a character more than I did with Bodhi. As someone who has battled mental health issues for most of my life, I have thought every. single. thought. that he has when it came to talking about himself. Basically, my soul was hurting for Bodhi. I was crying when he was crying. I just want to wrap Bodhi in my arms and hug him. He just never got a break from the bad. Ever. Until Jules.
I really liked Jules from the beginning but by the end I loved him. Jules' story broke me too - not as much as Bodhi's but my heart still went out to him. At the end of the day, they were two broken and lost souls, just trying to find the good in this hard thing called life.
If you can read about HEAVY mental illness, I would definitely recommend this. It fucking breaks your heart but you will get Bodhi and Jules' hard-earned HEA.
My Thoughts:
I don't even know how to explain how I feel about this book other than that I loved it! It was pretty tough to get through but worth it.
God, my heart fucking HURT for Bodhi. It was just utterly crushed. Ashley literally tore my heart to pieces. I have never mentally related to a character more than I did with Bodhi. As someone who has battled mental health issues for most of my life, I have thought every. single. thought. that he has when it came to talking about himself. Basically, my soul was hurting for Bodhi. I was crying when he was crying. I just want to wrap Bodhi in my arms and hug him. He just never got a break from the bad. Ever. Until Jules.
I really liked Jules from the beginning but by the end I loved him. Jules' story broke me too - not as much as Bodhi's but my heart still went out to him. At the end of the day, they were two broken and lost souls, just trying to find the good in this hard thing called life.
If you can read about HEAVY mental illness, I would definitely recommend this. It fucking breaks your heart but you will get Bodhi and Jules' hard-earned HEA.
August 10, 2023
I'm not quite sure where to start with this. I looooove this author and I feel like this book would probably work for a lot of people but, personally I did struggle to feel the emotional connection between Jules and Bodhi. It felt very one sided on Jules' part , and I know bodhi is having the most unspeakably awful time, but it was like Bodhi just went along with things for absolutely no reason, I couldn't really grasp why Bodhi pursued things?? Especially with all the obstacles set against them. I also just didn't mesh with Jules on the whole, I didn't find him all that likeable. Bodhi though ❤️ I just wanted to wrap him in my arms.
I also felt that Bodhi's much needed therapy and the subsequent bonding between him and Jules was very rushed and glossed over when this was the most important part for me. I don't want to take away any of Bodhi's thoughts and feelings throughout the book so perhaps it should've been longer. I just didn't feel any emotional connection before therapy, after therapy or even during the steamy parts. Maybe it's just me. I skim read a lot towards the end and it makes me sad because I want to love everything by Ashley.
A* for realistic and very well written mental health rep.
I also felt that Bodhi's much needed therapy and the subsequent bonding between him and Jules was very rushed and glossed over when this was the most important part for me. I don't want to take away any of Bodhi's thoughts and feelings throughout the book so perhaps it should've been longer. I just didn't feel any emotional connection before therapy, after therapy or even during the steamy parts. Maybe it's just me. I skim read a lot towards the end and it makes me sad because I want to love everything by Ashley.
A* for realistic and very well written mental health rep.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 26, 2023
I really loved Kismet by Ashley, so I was curious about the ARC of this one. I haven't read #1 but this is an interconnected standalone series.
I liked the concept behind Bodhi's and Jules relationship. As toxic as it was, this is a dark romance. Which brings me to my next point.... a scene about 77% into the book that almost made me DNF. No one in the reviews here had mentioned it and I'm kind of shocked?
I feel it could've been mentioned off the page, rather than a detailed scene. It left me feeling really "icky".I kept reading, and I actually did like how it came together with something that happened in the prologue, but the point could've been given with this information being mentioned vaguely off the page. If it wasn't for this scene I'd have given this 4 stars.
Jules and Bodhis relationship was a tough one to follow, more downs than ups, but they got the HEA they wanted after all.
I liked the concept behind Bodhi's and Jules relationship. As toxic as it was, this is a dark romance. Which brings me to my next point.... a scene about 77% into the book that almost made me DNF. No one in the reviews here had mentioned it and I'm kind of shocked?
I feel it could've been mentioned off the page, rather than a detailed scene. It left me feeling really "icky".I kept reading, and I actually did like how it came together with something that happened in the prologue, but the point could've been given with this information being mentioned vaguely off the page. If it wasn't for this scene I'd have given this 4 stars.
Jules and Bodhis relationship was a tough one to follow, more downs than ups, but they got the HEA they wanted after all.
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