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417 pages, ebook
First published February 18, 2018
"Abel’s watching me in a new way. I’ve never been watched like that. Like if he moved his eyes, I’d disappear and he’d never see me again."
"He used to say, don’t ever take no for an answer from the woman you love, Abel. Keep at it. She’s gonna give in eventually. She’s gonna see how much you love her.”
“No, I don’t. If this is how you want sex, it’s not going to work.”
“Oh, I’m gonna wear you down, Pixie. You’ll see.”
I think he loves it when I say no.
"In fact, even our arguments end up in sex. Especially, when I scream at him to pick up his clothes because he’s a slob, or demand that he close the door while taking a piss, as he calls it. “Boundaries, Abel!”
He laughs, finishes up his business in the bathroom and fucks me against the wall of the hallway."
"As he opens the flap and gets it going, I realize I don’t want the camera. I don’t want Abel to tape our sex. I want him to look at me, be with me in the moment. In the next second, he thrusts inside me once again and my back arches, making my protests dissolve on my tongue."
"I will tie her to the bed and fuck her and fuck her until she forgets everything else but me. Or until I put a baby in her and can’t run from me again."
“Or maybe he’s always been a monster who looks like a god. Because only monsters love this way, crazily, insanely, madly.”
“This is how boys with golden hair and angry expressions crash into your life. This is how stars collide and worlds are made. This is how all the love stories start.”
“Loving Abel Adams might be the purest and truest thing I’ll ever do.”
There are two things that define this town: our church, the tallest and oldest building, and the legend. The legend of David Adams and Delilah Evans.Evie doesn’t care that being with Abel is forbidden, she loves him desperately, and he loves her back the same way. I loved that they loved each other so strongly, and it seemed that nothing could tear them apart. Even though Evie’s family and the entire town would go against Evie if she were to openly be with Abel, she didn’t care. She loved him that much. Their love was strong enough to get through anything… or so they thought.
“Look at us… that’s our love. It’s so huge, so big you can’t contain it. It’s all-consuming. It fucking hurts to love this much but you want that hurt to crawl in. Because the love feels so good. You and me, we’ve got no choice but to ache, Pixie.”
They don’t know, you see. They don’t understand my Abel. They don’t understand that when a boy with enough heat to burn the sun falls in love with a girl, he torches the whole world.
I’m gonna take care of you, you know that, right? I’ll always take care of you. You’re mine now, okay? Mine. My reason. My life. My purpose.”
“That’s our love. It’s so huge, so big you can’t contain it. It’s all-consuming. It fucking hurts to love this much but you want that hurt to crawl in. Because the love feels so good. You and me, we’ve got no choice but to ache, Pixie.”
“If you want a different world, Pixie, I’ll build it with my own hands. I’ll build the ground, the sky, the fucking stars. I’ll build you an entire universe.”
Purpose. Yeah, that’s the word. That’s what I feel for him. He’s my purpose. My purpose to live, to love, to cherish. To give.
I want to nurture him, soothe away his pain, clutch him to my body and never leave. I want to give him everything. I want to obey him because it gives me pleasure. I was designed that way. For him.
That the way we love, crazily, madly, without limitations, is okay. Loving Abel like this is not a sin. Loving Abel Adams might be the purest and truest thing I’ll ever do.
Now, it’s time to tell the man I love, the man I trust with my heart and soul, that I want to be his forever. In this life and the next, and the one after that. In all my lives, I want to be Abel’s Pixie.
In this room, we take back what we lost. Our power. The time we spent apart.
Is there anything godlier than this? Is there anything more peaceful, more terrifying, more humbling than kneeling in front of the mother of your child?
"W-we’re not just friends, are we?"
He shakes his head. “No.”
❛They don't know, you see. They don't understand my Abel. They don't understand that when a boy with enough heat to burn the sun falls in love with a girl, he torches the whole world.❜
He won’t consciously hurt me. So I’ll hurt myself. I’ll suffer the pain until it gets good. It’s nothing new, anyway. It’s our love story.
As I look down at him and his intense expression, I realize this is the big bang. This is how boys with golden hair and angry expressions crash into your life. This is how stars collide and worlds are made. This is how all the love stories start.
When a boy with enough heat to burn the sun falls in love with a girl, he torches the whole world.
This is the big bang. This is how boys with golden hair and angry expressions crash into your life. This is how stars collide and worlds are made. This is how all the love stories start.
I skip over to him, and then the entire world shrinks to fit just the two of us. I get up on his feet, making him my ground. His shoulders become my mountain and the sweet breath from his mouth becomes my air.
No one should be made yo hide their love. No one. It’s too pure, too beautiful to ever keep hidden.
It's not the judgment of others we should be worried about.First, I have to say that if you like your romance served up in a pretty parfait cup with whip cream and sprinkles on top, you won't like this book. If you are interested in tragically flawed characters, unconventional plots, and an author who has something to say, you might just like this one as much as I did.
Why is it so easy for people to hate but not to understand?Evie and Abel become secret friends, and as they get older, they fall in love.
I feel his breath before I feel anything else. On my lips, like a feather. Like a warm feather. It grazes the seam of my mouth and traces the shape of it, making me feel . . . cherished.And so begins a co-dependent relationship of epic proportions, set against the backdrop of an uber-religious, close-minded small town in Iowa. Obviously, things eventually come to a head.
So maybe he's not a romantic. Like his kisses, he's a dirty romantic but I'll take it, and my answer is always yes. To whatever he says.With all the enthusiasm and fervency that goes along with youth, Evie falls hard for a boy who's possessive, insecure, and needy.
"I'll always take care of you. You're mine now, okay? Mine. My reason. My life. My purpose."But for all his faults, I never felt that Abel stepped over the line into abusive, because abusive would imply some kind of victimization. And to my mind, Evie was never Abel's victim. She remained self-aware of both Abel's shortcomings and her own throughout the story; they were EQUALLY flawed.
"If you're a fiend for me, then I'm your little monster. I have sharp nails like you have sharp teeth. If you're sick, then I've got a little fever of my own." ~EvieBy no stretch of the imagination was theirs a 'healthy' relationship, but their love for each other could never be denied.
"That's our love. It's so huge, so big you can't contain it. It's all-consuming. It fucking hurts to love this much, but you want that hurt to crawl in. Because the love feels so good. You and me we've got no choice but to ache, Pixie." ~AbelWhere I thought the story stumbled a bit was in the progression of the plot. As they got older, many of Evie and Abel's actions/reactions/ideas seemed to come out of nowhere. The plot took some very unexpected turns, and while I didn't object to them per se, they lacked the development that would have made them believable enough for me to give this one 5 stars.
"Fuck God, Pixie. Fuck the world. We'll be our own gods. You be mine and I'll be yours."Here are a few more of my favorite quotes:
"I love you," I breathe, hoping that somehow my words get dissolved in his bloodstream and he never has to think about being alone or powerless or afraid.
Loving Abel Adams is hard work.
Maybe our lust is brusing, life-threatening. Maybe we're both dying of too much love.
I love being his center of attention, something that consumes him like crazy.